Welcome to the One Word at a Time Blog Carnival on Goodness. Please add your link to the widget below. There are always such amazing thoughts from all of you, and your participation and support are awesome!

To view my post, please scroll down past the link widget.

Thanks for coming to the carnival…

**After you add your info, please refresh the page. If your post does not show up, please try again… make sure your email is provided and NO typos. If it still doesn’t work, send me an email or DM with your info, and I’ll manually input it for you. (Post title, email, url) Every now and then the widget acts up for certain people (you know who you are) and I’m happy to assist.

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At the last carnival, we met Mark and Melanie. We soon discovered that the Kindness Mel had shown her husband over the years wasn’t what he needed to feel loved. They had come to a point where there wasn’t much goodness or compassion left in their marriage.

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Colossians 3:12-14

If Mel and Mark can let goodness back in… and apply humility, gentleness, and forgiveness to their relationship, let’s see if things look any different…

My goodness… I had no idea!

“We need to talk,” Mark said forlornly as he watched his wife fold a stack of clean towels.

Melanie quickly looked up, a look of concern crossing her brows at the sadness she heard in his voice. “Is everything alright, Mark?”

Love is patient

“I’m not happy, Mel. I’ve been trying to tell you, but I don’t think you’ve heard me. I keep praying for patience, and now realize I need to communicate my needs more clearly.”

“I thought my subtle hints would be enough and you’d somehow know. I want to feel like I matter and that I’m important to you. Last month when Penny left for college, I really hoped that things might be different. I prayed that with all the kids grown and out of the house, you’d pay more attention to me… ” Mark’s voice tapered off mid-sentence.

Love is Kind

Melanie wiped a tear from her eye, then set the towel she’d been unsuccessfully attempting to fold on the edge of the couch. She timidly approached the spot where Mark was sitting with his head in his hands, and sat down beside him…

“I’ve taken care of you and the kids for most of my life. I wanted you to know how much I love all of you. I cooked, kept the house clean, ran all the errands, made sure the kids got to all their appointments and activities. I tried not to bother you with that stuff unless I had no choice. I thought you were happy not to be inconvenienced with those things, Mark.”

“Mel, I DID appreciate all that you did… and STILL do for us. The problem is, that isn’t what makes me FEEL loved. I’m sorry I didn’t explain it better and clearer before. I also see that it wasn’t fair to expect so much without giving more in return.”

“You mean those times you mentioned us having two different love languages… and we laughed about how ours are completely opposite?” She asked him, knowing that they both had needs that hadn’t been met.

“I guess so… and I shouldn’t have made light of it. I’m sure you’ve felt neglected at times too,” he replied sighing deeply.

It Does Not Envy

“I guess we both were too wrapped up in our own stuff to see how hard it was on the other. It was difficult with you working so many hours, but I could have been more understanding. Maybe if I’d focused more on you and less on the kids,” she sobbed.

“I thought that the recognition I was getting from my job would suffice, and that you and the kids didn’t really need me around. You were taking such good care of everything around here that I felt left out… and even a little jealous. I could have been more helpful to you, and more of a dad to the kids,” he said as he gently placed his hand on Melanie’s trembling fingers.

It Does Not Boast

“I’m sure it wasn’t easy for you to feel like an outsider in your own home. That was never my intention. I was only trying to get by and make the best of a difficult situation.”

“I can see that now, Mel. At the time I assumed you wanted all the glory from the kids… now I’m sorry I didn’t give you… or them… any others options.”

It Is Not Proud

“I wish you would have told me how deeply you were hurting, instead of putting up walls and busying yourself with so much work. All I ever wanted was to be a good wife and mom. I wasn’t trying to be stubborn or shut you out of our lives. You mean everything to me, Mark. You always have and always will!”

“I mistakenly blamed you for all of the disappointments in my life. My expectations weren’t realistic, and I didn’t express myself well at all. I needed more than you were able to give. I’m sorry I let it come between us for so long… it won’t happen again. I love you, Melanie.”

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

It’s carnival time! Our word/topic is Goodness. The widget will be up and running later tonight.

“Wisdom has its root in goodness, not goodness its root in wisdom.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

If you have any questions about how a carnival works, please click here for a brief summary: Carnival Info.

We also have a brand new One Word at a Time Blog Carnival fan page on Facebook… please stop by and chat with other carnival participants, and see upcoming dates and info.

March 23 – faithfulness
April 6 – gentleness
April 20 – self-control
May 4 – Joy

If you have any questions, just let me know and I’ll be happy to help.

See you at the carnival…

I posted this back in November… unfortunately YouTube had some issues and the video didn’t work for most of the day. I really love this song, so I wanted to try again for those who may have missed it the first time…

Each time I sit down to write, whether it be for my blog, or something else I’m working on… I always think about my words. I pray for them to come from my heart, and that if someone needs to read them… they will.

I recently heard this song for the first time. It immediately caught my attention, and now I absolutely love it! It really expresses my desire to reach out and touch others, and what I’d like to say to them… if given the opportunity.

I hope you enjoy it… Happy Sunday!

Last month I was introduced to a fellow blogger that I hadn’t yet had the pleasure of reading. He’s young, talented, and as you will soon see… has a great sense of humor.

Thanks for this fun post, Marty… especially after your long and adventurous drive!

If you haven’t met Marty Duane yet, I definitely think you need to stop by his site… you won’t be disappointed.

Events… Road Trip

Guest post by Marty Duane

Road trips are not pleasant.

Oh, but you say you love them! I’m going to tell you about a series of events. Some of these events will be slightly disturbing… some might make you laugh… but ultimately, they are designed to convince you how unpleasant road trips truly are.

1. I passed an SUV full of teenage girls. As I pulled up next to them, I nervously noticed they were all on their cellphones, including the driver. As they swerved around the road, their fingers never left their phones. As they forced my car onto the rumble strips to avoid them, I humorously thought about what could be so important to text, in the meantime risking all our lives. Maybe… “Meet us! We’re going to buy a scrunchie! LOL” You have to admit, it sounds very important.

2. I was on the I-35 interstate minding my own business when I glanced in my rear view mirror and noticed this huge F-350 duel pickup roaring down on me, although I was already driving 80 MPH. Instead of pulling over to pass me, the stocky construction man is too engrossed in manicuring his mustache in the mirror, and almost runs me over.

He finally decides to pass me, and as he pulls up next to me, I glance over to give him the “Let’s Race Guy Nod” but instead of giving me “the nod,” his face is puckered up and he’s purposely blowing a bubble in my direction. When the big wad of Bazooka™ is nicely displayed in a huge bubble on his round face, I watch as his long tongue protrudes from behind the mustache and dramatically pops the bubble.

His face holds a satisfied gleam as he attempts to get the deflated bubble out of his mustache, all the while staring at me as if to say, “Oh ya…. you better believe it. Feel the burn. You just got served, my friend.”

Not wanting to back down, I reached over and opened my glove compartment. Glancing back at Mr. Bubbles™, I see his eyes wide with fear. He has stopped blowing his second bubble, and it hangs there, slowly losing air and sagging as he continues to watch me dig in my glove compartment. Suddenly he roars away, his F350 drowning out my voice as I yell after him, “No… No! I wasn’t reaching for a gun. Trust me, I’m not that tough. I was just trying to find my watermelon flavored Bubblelicious™!”

3. I only drove 680 miles yesterday, and somehow I managed to gradually undress myself as I drove. I spilled my sweet & sour sauce on my shirt while eating my McNuggets™, dribbled my ice cream cone on my jeans, and at one point the sun had turned my car into a crockpot, me being the roast. One by one, clothes were discarded and replaced with more comfortable, more pajama type attire. By my calculations, if I had driven 452 more miles yesterday, I would have arrived completely commando.

Maybe you have your own road trip horror stories to add. I’d love to hear them!

While struggling to make ends meet over the past year or two… I’ve come to realize how often I forget to be thankful and count my blessings.

Although things have been stressful, and anxiety levels have reached maximum capacity… there is joy to be found in the simplicity of life that we tend to forget when times aren’t as tough.

I seem to have lost my way in these trying times … and it upsets me to think that the majority of the problem is due to lack of income.

How can there be a price-tag on my happiness? Why am I allowing myself to lose hope when the hubby and kids are healthy, we have a roof over our heads, and plenty of food and clothing?

Why does there have to be a terrible tragedy, like the one Haiti experienced, to remind us how fortunate we are? How come a health scare… or a relationship pushed to the absolute limits is what it takes for us to see what is right in front of our eyes — but we’re too blind and self-absorbed to even notice?

I like to think that I have a good grip on… and live in… reality. I know my kids make mistakes and get into trouble… I’m aware my marriage isn’t perfect (honey you can stop reading for a sec)… and that at least 50% of the issues are MY fault.

So why did I become so discouraged and depressed when reality hit me over the head? The economy changed… followed by our lifestyle… then my mood followed suit!

I can’t really say that I’m a glass half-full kinda girl… but I can usually see a silver lining in the dark clouds, or the rainbow during a terrible storm.

I’ve been lacking this type of attitude recently, and my health, as well as my family, have been taking a beating. The worst part is that when you step back and try to separate yourself from the situation, you begin to see things from a whole new perspective and wish you’d done it much sooner.

This is where I’m at now. I don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel (yet)… but I am seeing how the simpler things in life are pretty great once you stop viewing them from a selfish standpoint… we may not stop by Starbucks to grab a drink and a treat very often, but the time we spend together in the kitchen baking brownies and making milkshakes is absolutely priceless!

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. James 1:17

The little things are important, though they can only bring as much joy as we allow them to. The last few times I’ve driven down my street, I’ve noticed a gorgeous tree that has the most amazing cherry blossoms blooming.

Each time I pass by, I can’t help but smile at its sheer beauty… that’s when the truth hit me… simplicity brings such joy!

I’m now starting to see new beginnings all around me. As spring sits waiting just around the corner… so do many answered prayers and continued blessings.

What simple things might you be missing… or are you good at appreciating the little things that could actually be blessings in disguise?

My intention for this post was to pick a word and write a post, then my kids were going to share a few thoughts on it as well. I thought it would be fun to have the contrasting perspectives.

The topic we chose is Hypocrisy. When I read what they wrote I was amazed. We talk about things pretty openly in our home, but I had no idea just how strongly they felt on this subject.

I’ve decided instead of posting my own feelings, I’m only going to post theirs. I won’t edit or make any changes… I want it to be in their exact words with all the emotion they put into it.

Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity. 1Timothy 4:12

My boy is 14 and loves to express himself by writing song lyrics. He’s usually very private and I’m honored and touched he chose to let me share these…

I can’t wait to to find out how we human’s are gonna screw up next time around, I can’t wait to know what the world will do to itself tomorrow, there’s been one too many hypocrites, and one too many liar’s, one too many people that will burn out my fire, there’s been one too few good Samaritan’s, and not enough people that want to love, so step out now good Samaritan’s, so step out now good people of our mighty God, and let’s fulfill what we’re called to do. Let’s show everyone the love of Christ, let’s show everyone what this world could be like! Let’s light some fire’s, and watch them shine forever! ~Andrew

My girl is 12 and I often like to say to her… “Tell me what you really think!” Once again, she doesn’t disappoint while sharing her feelings on hypocrisy…

People like to say they reach out to others, that they show their faith through their actions in their everyday lives. But do they where it really counts?

I have these two friends who are best friends themselves. One’s a Christian, the other isn’t. Neither go to church, and for the same reason.

They hate the judgment they get there. My friend who is a Christian says he doesn’t go to church because he doesn’t fit in, and he hates how all the people are segregated based on how they act.

People say I’m a Christian but I’m this kind. If you’re a Christian you’re a Christian, there’s no maybe’s, or halfways about it, so why separate everyone? He says who cares if you’re Baptist or Methodist, you’re a Christian and that’s it.

My other friend doesn’t go to church because every church he has ever gone to, he’s felt judged, and like he didn’t fit in. He says he’s just not the church type, but really, who is? I think the “church type” is anyone willing to take a leap of faith and go and listen.

So why is it no one reaches out to these people? Because they aren’t the sad, lonely kids who sit alone at lunch? Just because someone has friends doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be accepted.

Christians are supposed to be accepting of everyone, but only on their terms? I’ll accept you for who you are, but only at school or at work or here or there but not in church because you’re not like everyone else there. But God made everyone different, so why would we want everyone in HIS church to be the same?

People are too judgmental, and it ruins the idea of what Christianity is all about. Love and faith and acceptance, not judgment or exclusion or telling people how they should be. And I think it’s funny, that my Christian friend who doesn’t attend church, has a much deeper understanding of what faith is all about than people who go to church every Sunday for their whole lives.

When we judge others, you’re really only judging yourself. The things you see wrong in others is most likely what you hate most about yourself. Remember that next time you see someone new sitting next to you in church. ~Jillian

How many of us feel this same way… or worse yet… how many of us act this way and don’t even realize it? If you haven’t spoken to your kids about this because you don’t think they have an opinion.. you might want to think again!

I’m sure many of you have been glued to the television today, wondering if/when the waves may strike. I know I’ve been mesmerized watching the news, and the water.

My prayers go out to the Chileans, and of course we still need to pray for the people of Haiti… there’s still so much destruction and despair.

There IS hope… we need to remember that God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble!

God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with their surging.
Psalm 46:1-3

Scott Krippayne Lyrics
“Sometimes He Calms The Storm”

All who sail the sea of faith
Find out before too long
How quickly blue skies can
grow dark
And gentle winds grow strong
Suddenly fear is like white water
Pounding on the soul
Still we sail on knowing
That our Lord is in control

Sometimes He calms the storm
With a whispered “Peace be still”
He can settle any sea
But it doesn’t mean He will
Sometimes He holds us close
And lets the wind and waves
go wild
Sometimes He calms the storm
And other times He calms His child

He has a reason for each trial
That we pass through in life
And though we’re shaken
We cannot be pulled apart
from Christ
No matter how the driving rain
beats down
On those who hold to faith
A heart of trust will always
Be a quiet peaceful place

]]> http://www.bridgetchumbley.com/2010/02/sunday-worship-18/feed/ 3 http://www.bridgetchumbley.com/2010/02/fun-friday-oreos/ http://www.bridgetchumbley.com/2010/02/fun-friday-oreos/#comments Fri, 26 Feb 2010 08:01:38 +0000 BridgetChumbley http://www.bridgetchumbley.com/?p=3728

Yesterday a situation arose, and I had to have a minor procedure done. I’m fine, but have been really tired tonight, and wasn’t feeling the inspiration for a Fun Friday post… then my dear friend, Sarah Salter, stepped up and offered to share a cute story about Oreos. She did a last minute guest post for me, for which I’m extremely grateful.

Who doesn’t love a story about delicious chocolate cookies with those yummy (albeit waxy) centers…

Thanks, Sarah!

It was about 1959 and my Mom was 7 years old. Mama’s Daddy was a United Methodist preacher, and although he was from the coast (Morehead City, if you know where that is) the bishop had sent him to pastor a church in Western North Carolina.

But a couple times a year (mostly Christmas and summer vacation) Grandmama and Granddaddy would take the kids to the coast to visit the family. It was on one of these trips when “the Oreo incident” occurred.

In 1959, there were no minivans. Larger families like my grandparents’ family had station wagons. When it came time for the family trip to the coast, Grandmama and Granddaddy took their four kids (Cloman- age 11, Carolyn- age 7, Becky- age 5, and Martha- the baby) and loaded them into the station wagon. Only, at this time, Granddaddy’s Mama (aka Granny) and Granddaddy’s Sister (aka Auntie) and Auntie’s 5-year-old daughter Muriel were living with them as well.

So when the day came to leave for the coast, the station wagon was loaded to the gills and practically dragging the ground as they left town. Four adults. Four children. One baby. And the dog. (I’m not kidding.) And on top of all of the people, Granddaddy had the luggage strapped to the top of the car.

Oh, Lord, what I wouldn’t do for a picture of that!

Of course, the pastor’s family couldn’t miss church on a Sunday, so Granddaddy preached first… and then still wearing his starched white shirt and tie, he put the family in the car and pointed it East.

Mama doesn’t remember how far they had gotten when someone noticed that Muriel (sitting in Auntie’s lap in the seat behind Granddaddy) had an empty Oreo bag in her hand, and dark crumbs on her pinafore. It was too late! And as the entire back seat watched in horror, Muriel vomited the entire bag of Oreos down the back of Granddaddy’s immaculate white dress shirt!

Muriel is grown with four kids and some grandkids now, but “the Oreo incident” will forever be part of the Staton family folklore!

Stop by and visit my friend Sarah’s awesome blog

]]> http://www.bridgetchumbley.com/2010/02/fun-friday-oreos/feed/ 7 http://www.bridgetchumbley.com/2010/02/kindness-blog-carnival/ http://www.bridgetchumbley.com/2010/02/kindness-blog-carnival/#comments Tue, 23 Feb 2010 04:16:59 +0000 BridgetChumbley http://www.bridgetchumbley.com/?p=3656

Welcome to the One Word at a Time Blog Carnival on Kindness. Please add your link to the widget below, then enjoy what everyone else has posted.

For more info, please click here: Carnival.

**After you add your info, please refresh the page. If your post does not show up, please try again… make sure your email is provided and NO typos. If it still doesn’t work, send me an email or DM with your info, and I’ll manually input it for you. (Post title, email, url) Every now and then the widget acts up for certain people (you know who you are) and I’m happy to assist.

I decided to try something different and wrote a short story. Can’t wait to see what all of you came up with…

To read my contribution “When Kindness Isn’t Enough,” please scroll down past the widget. Thanks for being part of the carnival!

When Kindness Isn’t Enough…

“I want a divorce!’ Mark said with a sad, yet distant look in his eyes.

Melanie quickly looked up, an obvious look of confusion on her face. “What do you mean?” She choked out as tears began to form.

Love is patient

“I’m not happy, Mel. I’ve been telling you for years and you refused to listen. I tried to be patient, I really did.”

“But Mark, I don’t understand. I DID listen to you,” Melanie cried.

“If you did, you didn’t care enough to DO anything about it. It’s like MY feelings never mattered. I’ve waited years for you to put me first. I finally had some real hope last month when Penny left for college. I prayed with all the kids now out of the house… ” Mark’s voice tapered off mid-sentence.

Love is Kind

Melanie anxiously ran her fingers through her hair, the shock was beginning to wear off… anger, hurt, and frustration now taking its place…

“I’ve done nothing but take care of YOU and the kids for most of my life. What more could you possibly want from me? I cooked, kept the house clean, ran all the errands, made sure the kids got to all their appointments and activities. I tried not to bother you with that stuff unless there was NO other choice!”

“Mel, kindness is not what I needed from my wife. It was nice you did those things, but I told you over and over… it wasn’t enough.”

“I know Mark… we have two different love languages… how many times have we had this EXACT conversation?” She sarcastically snapped.

“Not enough I guess,” he replied sighing deeply.

It Does Not Envy

“Maybe you shouldn’t have spent so much time working. It would have been nice for the kids and I to know we mattered more than your company getting bigger and more successful. If you would’ve given a little more time and attention to US, then maybe I would have been more willing to return the favor,” she said, her emotions continuing to escalate out of control.

“I had to work hard to make sure we could pay the bills and send the kids to college. I did my best Melanie… even though you never seemed to appreciate it, and complained ALL the time! You were so busy with the kids that I’m surprised you noticed I wasn’t around anyway,” Mark said, mumbling the last few words under his breath.

It Does Not Boast

“At least I WAS a parent. If it wasn’t for me the kids would never come home and visit. They’d just stay at school or with friends over break. I was a great mom… you can’t deny THAT!”

“How could I? You reminded me plenty about what a lousy dad I was, and the kids always chose you over me. You didn’t need me, you had them to make you happier than I ever could.”

It Is Not Proud

“You didn’t even try, Mark. The kids at least acted like they cared and were thankful… you were too stubborn and set in your ways to ever do what I asked. You never appreciated all I did for you and the kids, and never once said I did a good job.”

“Just like you refused to listen to me when I told you doing stuff for me wasn’t cutting it. I wanted… no… NEEDED you to show me you loved me with attention and affection… acts of kindness weren’t what I asked for Mel… they were NEVER enough.”

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 1 Corinthians 13:4

]]> http://www.bridgetchumbley.com/2010/02/kindness-blog-carnival/feed/ 30 http://www.bridgetchumbley.com/2010/02/carnival-9/ http://www.bridgetchumbley.com/2010/02/carnival-9/#comments Mon, 22 Feb 2010 08:01:38 +0000 BridgetChumbley http://www.bridgetchumbley.com/?p=3643

It’s carnival time again. The word/topic is Kindness.

I’ve had a few people ask about the carnivals and how they work, so I wanted to give a quick summary for those who are new, or who have been thinking about participating.

Every two weeks, Peter Pollock or myself host the carnival. A word is chosen, and then bloggers each write a post on their own sites… then come add the link to the widget either Peter or I will have on ours.

That’s all there is to it. For a schedule of upcoming carnivals and words/topics, please join our One Word at a Time Blog Carnival Facebook page. If you’d like to view what a carnival looks like, simply click the Carnival button on the navigation bar at the top of this post.

Here is the schedule for the next several carnivals:
March 9 – goodness
March 23 – faithfulness
April 6 – gentleness
April 20 – self-control
May 4 – Joy

If you have further questions, just let me know and I’ll be happy to help.

The widget will be up later tonight… see you all at the carnival.

“Spread love everywhere you go: First of all in your own house… let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God’s kindness; kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile, kindness.” ~ Mother Teresa

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