Sometimes I think back to being at school and being bullied by someone. When I sit here and think about it, I often imagine what would have happened if I had just shouted “F*ck you” really loudly. If I had taken action to change it. I took no action and had a miserable time for a period.

We create a path for ourselves, to make our lives better so we can have more control over the limited amount of time we have every day. But is it what we really want to do? Or have we become slaves to a safety net of just learning to be content?

Take a moment and allow yourself to really think about this question:

If I knew I couldn’t fail. What would I do?

When was the last time you asked yourself that? If every responsibility you have that you feel tied to disappeared, what would you do? What does that look like for you?

One of my clients said to me that when her boss is being an asshole (we are working on that relationship!) she closes her office door, eats a digestive biscuit (or three) and looks for houses to rent in Colorado Springs.

It’s so easy to sit in the comfort of certainty and it feels like the easier option. To keep things as they are feels less stressful. But as the weeks go by, in that state, we actually feel lethargic, stagnant and full of regret.

How fear stops us

One of my favourite podcasters Lewis Howes is a guest at my friends business event this Friday. I really love his work and the whole day is going to be full of useful help to get a book published and business tools that go with it.

One of my barriers to just booking a ticket for the event was that I was supposed to at one of my stores for the day, then I pulled up another excuse that I have an added event to go to straight after it….

Let me be really honest here:

Large events, with lots of people in them, fill me with fear.

That was the real reason I didn’t book straight away.

I am a natural introvert and going to a big event full of noise and new people and ‘networkers’ just roots me to the spot. But you know what? I really want to go and I have already put a strategy in place for needing to get the train in rush-hour (another fear).

When you really want to achieve something that sets your soul on fire, just book it, just do it.

The wonderful Mel Robbins has a whole strategy on taking action. Her TedTalk is still one of my favourites.

It is as beautifully simple as saying “5-4-3-2-1 GO”.

Now when I hesitate, that is exactly what I say out loud. It works. Try it!

I recently recorded a podcast episode on fear and how it gets in our way with some extra help for you:

So let’s step into the unknown together, hand in hand. Let’s take one small step into greatness and the world of possibility out there.

P.S. Try reading this post too!

The post If you knew you couldn’t fail, what would you do? (and how to take action right away) appeared first on .

“Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It’s about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen.” Brene Brown

You might be questioning why I have put a photo of Dolly Parton in this blog post?

One of the things I love about Dolly is that she is unapologetically herself.

Sure she’s had plastic surgery, hair extensions blah blah but what she represents to me is someone AUTHENTIC.  

Dolly doesn’t pretend to be anything other than Dolly.

If there is one thing I want to help you be more confident in, it’s showing the world your authentic YOU.

When ever I feel like I am at a sticky point with a decision I need to make I ask myself the following question:

“What would Dolly do?”

I am not sure there are any photos of Dolly in cyberspace going to local shops in her PJs and Ugg Boots with no make up on and wet hair but that’s because Dolly doesn’t represent that.  

Dolly LOVES getting dressed up, she loves being a glamour-girl and she does not apologise for it one little bit.

What does authenticity even mean?

Ok, I hear you, it’s an overused and misunderstood word.  For me, authenticity in regards to a person is someone who stands up for what they believe in and speaks their own truth.  They speak that truth regardless of whether it’s what someone else wants to hear.

An authentic person is someone who says or acts in a way that is consistent with their beliefs.

How can we spot it in others? 

According to Psychology today, authentic people possess a short-list of common characteristics.  They…..

1. Have realistic perceptions of reality.
2. Are accepting of themselves and of other people.
3. Are thoughtful.
4. Have a non-hostile sense of humour.
5. Are able to express their emotions freely and clearly.
6. Are open to learning from their mistakes.
7. Understand their motivations.

Want to delve deeper?

If any of you have watched the Tony Robbins documentary ‘I Am Not Your Guru’ then you may have heard him ask a very important question:

Who did you crave love from most as a child, and who did you have to be to get it?

A lot of Tony’s approach in the documentary didn’t resonate with me (as a natural introvert I wouldn’t enjoy that mass event) but that one question struck a chord with me when I watched the film.  

What might come up?

I realised that a lot of my behaviour that I was showing the world was exactly the opposite of authenticity.  

The Bridget that was showing up everyday was the child version I felt I needed to be in order to feel fully loved and accepted.  

When you are an adult, that is not your authentic self.

So…….. why not try a mini self-audit?  It’s tough and it may bring up a few tears but it’s so useful.

Get stuck in

Sit down with a notepad and pen or buy a nice journal (any excuse for new stationary huh?).

Ask yourself the same question:

Who did you crave love from most as a child, and who did you have to be to get it?

Now take your child self and ask your self:

Where does that version of me show up now?  

It could be with your significant other or with your parents maybe even with your friends or your boss/work colleagues.  Jot it all down.

And now?

For the next week or so have a curious approach to how it would feel if actually you showed up as YOU?  

Learn what it would be like to perhaps set some boundaries.  Explain to your best friend what you have discovered and ask him or her to call you out if you are not being authentic.

A word of warning – when it comes to quackery and authenticity it is a minefield out there.  

I don’t necessarily have a problem with people peddling their wares if they truly believe it (and they are not in it just to make money)….

I DO have a problem when it’s inauthentic.

If you want more information on this, I have written about quackery here

My top tips:

• Follow people on social media who keep it real.  Unfollow those that don’t because trust me when I tell you, it’s a game-changer.  
• Do a mini-audit.  Find out who you really are.
• Don’t feel the need to – party if you hate parties, wear high-heels if they kill your feet, get ombre hair if you prefer your warm mahogany glow.  Don’t just follow trend and always do what feels natural to you.
• Never be afraid to show your flaws.
• Tell people what you would stand on your soap box for…..but make it authentic to you and not just because that’s what the crowd are doing.
• Accept that in life there will always be people who don’t actually like you and that’s ok.
• In business the old adage is true – people buy from people.  Show up to meetings, proposals or even pitch-decks and show YOU.

So I raise a cup of coffee to you (I don’t like alcohol).

Here’s to showing the world who we are.

P.S. If you would like to watch the documentary then here is the trailer.

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Whenever you check for a new post on Instagram or whenever you go on the New York times to see if there’s a new thing, it’s not even about the content.  It’s about seeing a new thing.  You get addicted to that feeling.

                                                        ~Aziz Ansari

Declaration:
“Hi, my name is Bridget and I am addicted to my phone”.

For most of yesterday, in the U.K., Facebook, Instagram and WhatsApp were not working properly.

For some of you this will have been a relief….

It wasn’t a relief for me.  I came to the startling realisation that I am addicted to my smartphone.

It dawned on me as I settled down to read a book that I was incapable of reading it for any sustainable period of time without checking whether those various sites were back up again.

This social media outage had done me a favour – it had highlighted a problem, one that I really did need to address.

So what’s the problem?

As I sat there with my phone in one hand and my book in the other I thought that by being unable to check-in with what was happening I was being denied pleasure.  What was actually happening was that the time I spent on my phone was time I wasn’t doing other pleasurable things.

Spending more time on my phone = spending less time enjoying life.

It’s not so much that I am addicted to social media but more that I am addicted to the phone.  In the absence of various social media sites last night, I still managed to peruse Twitter, Entrepreneur Magazine and YouTube.

Where’s the harm?

In true Bridget fashion, this morning I decided to go in search of the solution and downloaded Catherine Price’s book  ‘The 30-Day Plan to Take Back Your Life’.

In search of the evidence as to why my excessive smartphone use was harming me she offered up this gem:

“Multiple studies have associated the heavy use of smartphones (especially when used for social media) with negative effects on neuroticism, self-esteem, impulsivity, empathy, self-identity, and self-image, as well as with sleep problems, anxiety and stress”.

Sold.

The Statistics

©trust my paper

Social media and the gambling connection

Have you ever imagined that you felt your phone buzzing or heard a notification ping, only to realise it wasn’t real?  

Methods to get our attention on our smartphones light up the same brain mechanisms as cocaine and we experience phantom notifications.

Social media sites have been compared to slot machines and employ similar techniques to get us hooked.  They are great at getting us drawn into ‘ludic loops’ or those repeated cycles of uncertainty, anticipation, and feedback.  The potential reward keeps us coming back for more.

The news network is exactly the same for me.  I like to keep up with the news constantly, I never know what I might find and that in itself is potentially exciting.

How often are we sucked into the cycle of posting something with that thrill of excitement as to how it will be perceived, shared and liked (including this blog post!).

How smartphones + social media = wasted hours.

The problem I see is that if not controlled, it is a huge waste of precious time.

I have culled my social media time for a while now and yet I still reach for my smartphone.  I can always find another ‘slot machine’ to go and gamble on.

But as yesterday’s outage highlighted, even though I don’t spend as much time browsing social media sites, the fact that they were down, caused anxiety.  Not just for me but for a great swathe of the world.

Bridget needed a solution and fast.

What’s the solution?

The answer is not to just chuck your phone away.  I know a friend who once got so hacked off with her phone that she threw it off Richmond Bridge.

She felt great for about 10 minutes until she realised that she couldn’t extend her parking on the parking app and a panic sprint to Richmond Green was followed by every swear word when she discovered that her credit card pin was also saved in her notes…..

Fortunately for us smartphone addicts Catherine has come up with a 30-day plan to break up with your phone and then reintroduce using it ‘more sensibly’.

Just like any addict this is something I NEED to do.  I want to live more in the moment, to get more of my book written, to not stress about replying to a message instantly and to record more podcast episodes.

If other people’s results are anything to go by I think I am going to find more time, more space and less anxiety.

I shall record my journey and share it with you via my podcast 

I have already started on my Day One – to monitor my usage using the Freedom app and Moment app.  Also recommended was to save an image on the lock screen of your phone with a reminder message.  Here is mine:

Bring on Day 2…..

Please share if this resonates with you, a friend or family member

I highly recommend Catherine’s book – it’s full of scientific evidence and an easy to follow guide for 30 days.  I purchased it here

With lots of love

The post Please DO disturb – my smartphone addiction and I appeared first on .

You know when you have an idea that you really want to do yet you don’t do it?

That has been me for the last couple of years. This post illustrates my fear of success and I have reread it and given myself a good talking to…..

A while back I had a slew of people say to me “You know Bridget, you really should do some videos or maybe a podcast”.

I don’t really like the word should. It triggers me when it’s in a sentence.

One example of should in the negative that I have never forgotten was when I went for a massage in Richmond. My lovely Thai therapist said, and I quote:

‘Your back too bony. You too skinny. No man fancy woman with bony back’.

She then followed it up with “You should put some weight on”.

No matter of explaining to her that I actually couldn’t have actually given less of a fuck whether a man would fancy me (which fell on deaf ears), interspersed with me trying to explain to her that I was with a woman who was quite fond of my bony bits. She thought I SHOULD care.

Anyway I digress.

I had this burning desire that I should would find someway of communicating with people that wasn’t in the written form.

A YouTube channel didn’t feel right so then I thought about doing some short-form video on Facebook and Instagram that would link people to a podcast series that I have thought about for some time.

I wanted to do it from my bed.

Why bed?

Given that we are most relaxed when we are in bed (unless it is at 3:00am and having a menopausal hot flush), my idea to film/record it from my bed feels right to me. I am not a power-dressing manicured type of speaker (I have tried). The 44 year old me is much more at ease talking to you in an environment where I feel like I am talking to a friend. I thought about a coffee shop but there is too much background noise.

Bed it is.

So in the channel I want to talk about the things you don’t feel you can say out loud. Unless you have very open-minded friends, there are some things you just can’t talk about easily.

Why do it?

I have been thinking long and hard about this new channel and I want it to be for people just like me. I want to help you, the listener, to feel like you have a friend in me.

At the moment, I coach people one to one and I LOVE it. This is just another way for me to help women in their 40’s live their BEST LIFE.

It will be a regular podcast, Instagram and Facebook video. I will ask you to submit problems that you have or funny stories to tell me together we will get you living a better version of your life right now.

I shall also be interviewing women like us from my bed and with the app that I use to record my podcast you will be able to leave voicemail that I can share with the listeners.

My microphone arrives today, I shall get practising and then my first episode will be up really soon.

How to find the podcast?

In time it will be available on all platforms and to get you started you can listen to it here

Anchor is great, it is relatively easy to get set up and I just love the idea that not only can listeners leave me messages (and I LOVE connection!) but I can also interview people from the app.

Subjects coming up

So before you go off and subscribe (thank you!) here is what I shall be talking about in no particular order:

The myth of having it all.

How to form a team around you to get you to your goal.

Chin hair.

The skeptics guide to diets and what to do instead.

Loneliness.

The power of contribution.

How to go from debt to diamonds.

Non-negotiables – how I transformed my happiness by ditching the dread and embraced doing what I WANTED to do.

How you can help me

I would love you to suggest topics for me – you can leave a comment on this blog post of send me a voice memo on anchor:

1. From any users profile or while listening to an episode in the Anchor app tap the ‘Message‘ button
2. Record a voice message (can be a maximum of 1 minute)
3. Tap the ‘Play‘ button to preview your message
4. Tap ‘Save‘ to send, or ‘Undo‘ to record another message
5. If sending, enter a title and then tap ‘Send message‘

If you would like to download the app so that you can listen to the podcast on a phone or tablet then you can do so here

So until we meet on my show I wish you the happiest weekend, wherever you are in the world.

The post In bed, with Bridget. appeared first on .

Where am I going?

It’s been a while since I wrote anything on my blog so I thought I would come on here more regularly and update you on what I have been up to.  If you need any help with coming up with a goal then read my post – DREAM BIG.

I am currently working on a project together with my favourite fitness location – Digme Fitness, to get my six-pack back by Christmas…..

… I know right?  Not a huge amount of time to do it! 

I have become a lot better at achieving goals since I turned 40, I have realised that if you want to get anything, you need to PLAN for it.

“When you say plan, what do you mean exactly?”

Ok, so let’s say you lived in New York and you wanted a road trip that would end up in L.A.  As wonderful as it would be to just get in the car and point west and put your foot on the gas, it is likely to end up in anxiety, running out of fuel, wrong-turns and frustration at potentially ending up somewhere else entirely.

Let’s think of a plan like a map.

I realised this year that if I wanted to straying smashing some goals then each one would need to be mapped out with full directions, VERY SPECIFICALLY.

Find someone to help you plan the map.

Are you very self-motivated or someone who needs a kick up the arse and a mentor?

Personally, I am very self-motivated but I realised that after I had posted my goal publicly on Instagram, I still needed some help:

Who is going to help you with that plan?

You might have a friend who can help you plan out the map of your goal, I asked the experts from Digme Fitness to help me for some pointers and then I realised I had a missing piece of the puzzle.

If I look at my goal – To get a six-pack by Christmas then my map journey consists of the following essentials:

1. Fitness – my Digme Fitness sessions.
2. Diet – how to fuel up to build muscle, how to strip the body fat down.
3. Sleep and Rest – how to ensure adequate rest and healthy sleep hygiene.
4. Inspiration – for when I don’t feel like getting out of bed and doing it.

A goal without a plan, is just a wish.

Antoine de Saint-Exupery

So with my list I then dug into any potential issues:

1. Fitness – overtraining, building strength, preventing injury.
2. Diet – need to eat more to build muscle, make sure I get the right nutrients, get a list of Vegan protein sources.
3. Sleep and Rest – find out how much rest I need, have better sleep hygiene.
4. Inspiration – check out people who have done what I am setting out to achieve.

So with that list I researched who would be the best person to help me tie it all together.

When I set my goal, I had some great advice from Dan Little, Ben Davie, Chloe Laureyns and Paul Gascoyne at Digme Fitness (thanks legends!).

Turns out, my mentor was right at my feet (not literally, you understand!).

My good friend CJ Swaby – Vegan. Strongman competitor. Nutritionist and a great mentor.

By enlisting CJ to help me, I was able to map out:

My starting point.

All the milestones I needed to hit along the journey.

The route plan.

The essentials I would need for the ride (no vegan Percy Pigs for the journey, sadly).

The evidence I would need to know when I had reached my goal.

My plan of action

My plan is actually very simple (phew).

To give you an idea of the next couple of weeks:

• Two Digme Spin Classes a week – leave it all on the bike!
• Three Matrix Style workouts – Pins, Pecs and Guns (Cj’s wording…..not mine).
• Two rest days.
• 1900 calories a day with the following macros – Protein 30%, carbs 40%, fat 30%.  I am using MyFitness Pal to track.
• 8 hours sleep.
• Have fun with it.

So there we have it – my plan of action!  I shall update this regularly to let you know how it’s going.  

Before I go, I just want to mention ‘finding some inspiration’.  

When you are looking for inspiration for your journey (whatever it is) then I recommend the following:

1. Pick people who have actually done it.  Not trying to do it. DONE IT.
2. Pick people your own age (particularly for fitness goals, it’s important!).
3. Don’t trust everything you see and read.  Especially on social media…

I have picked two people from Instagram who really do walk their talk (and are a similar age).  Remember my goal is to get a six-pack….

They are @rach_1972 and @yourhealthyhedonista

They both inspire me for different reasons – Rach doesn’t take her self too seriously and makes me howl with laughter DAILY.  Michelle MacDonald is so transparent with her journey, she works so hard for her body and documents her journey really clearly.

So until the next update, I would love any suggestions you have to add to the plan of my journey!

Check out www.digmefitness.com for details of their classes – why don’t you come and join me for a class?!

The post Why you always need a plan appeared first on .

I met Jo years ago, I helped her out of a rut she was in, and out of all the clients I have ever had, she did the ‘homework’ and really excelled.

Although we don’t see each other much, I stalk her from afar.  I cheerlead her success and celebrate her achievements.

One of the reasons I hold her in such high regard is her ability to say it as it.  No filter and zero fucks are given.

She is so talented it makes my hairs stand on end, for that reason I asked her to guest blog for me.

She writes on a topic very close to my heart:

Fear

After a recent series of discussions on the topic of fear, I raised what I perceived to be my own fear of failure, in a conversation, last week.  Almost instantaneously, my words were reversed and tossed back to me in the sentence, ‘I put it to you, Jo Beale, that you are less afraid of failure, than you are of your own success’. Internally, it felt like a bit of a shocker, but, ultimately, I couldn’t disagree.

Am I afraid to fail? No, not in the least. I wholeheartedly leap into things, knowing they might not work out. I’m all, or I’m nothing. I have passion, drive, explosive and furious commitment, even when I have no guarantee of success, payback, or reward. Not only am I not afraid to fail, I not afraid to admit to failing. It may sadden me, but I am not ashamed to have tried, to have learned, or to have changed my mind. I am not afraid to admit I made mistakes, or that – on very rare occasions, obviously – I was wrong.

Identifying the triggers

The situations where I feel most awkward are the ones involving congratulation or reward. The effort I put into encouraging women to accept compliments and praise is, in truth, utter hypocrisy, as I often endeavour not to squirm at a turn of the spotlight. Certainly, I crave the honour, the applause, the victory, the thanks – but as I hold them in my hands, I quickly become horrified at the brightness illuminating me.
I have run, fast, from every whisper of achievement; I have sabotaged or failed to capitalise on, every moment of success in my life, certainly when it has come to any kind of innate talent and creativity.

When did that fear begin?

I used to act; I loved to be on stage, preferably as the lead. One day, at the age of 16, I forgot a line in an audition, and I never attended another again. Except, I hadn’t forgotten it. I paused, and then, I stopped. In that moment, I had chosen head-down, book-driven academia over the thrill and the drama of performance, and, into my studies I threw myself, abandoning the stage for a lifetime.

I studied filmmaking, an overwhelming love of mine; a passion so deep I could breathe it twenty-four hours a day and never become tired of it. I would write and edit and produce and direct, and consider every tiny project to be some kind of Scorcesian masterpiece. Then I made films for coursework, films for myself, and films for competition. I worked with more of my soul than is imaginable. This resulted in being shortlisted, and subsequently runner-up, for a BBC Drama Award.

There ended my filmmaking career.

Leaning into the fear and towards success

I love to write, and, hopefully, you can tell (!). Yet, I’m sporadic and inconsistent with it. I once had a poem published, and immediately after, I began to shy away from poetry. I once came second in a short story competition, never wrote another one again. Plays, songs, screenplays, novels. Articles, essays, research, criticism, opinion pieces and editorials. I completed a Master’s degree in journalism. I applied for precisely zero jobs in the field of journalism or the media.I’ve started four blogs. This one has been the most work, the longest-running, and the most popular and successful. This, time and again, I have to come back to; there is nowhere left to turn. I will not abandon this thing that I love again – and this time, I will keep going. I fucking love writing, I love words, and I love page-based expression. So, why would I actively avoid pursuing something I love so dearly?

In a nutshell

It boils down to this: self-worth is the cornerstone of ambition. If you do not consider yourself to be worthy of success, you will avoid it. You will become afraid of it. You will run from it, and at times, you may even sabotage yourself. This will keep happening until the day you recognise your own skills and talents for what they are worth, that moment when you are ready to face up to the fact that you sparkle in ways you might not have even realised. Accepting your fear of success means accepting you deserve to be successful. And, my word, you definitely do.

I would love you to connect with Jo.  She writes on her blog and is active on Instagram @jobealefitness.

If you struggle with fear of success, reach out to us in the comments below.

With love and a gentle nudge towards your big dream.

The post Do you have fear of failure? Why it could actually be a fear of success appeared first on .

This week of my Best Year Yet was all about Random Acts of Kindness.  It’s a topic I am really passionate about and one I like to do as often as possible.

I wanted to dedicate a whole 7 days to it, to ramp up the project and see how it left me feeling.

It is not a long blog post as I don’t want to bang on about all the acts I did – they are anonymous and therefore best left out there without talking about them.

I DO want to share how the week left me feeling….

I really do believe that one of the greatest things we can do for our own mental health is carrying out random acts of kindness.

What I didn’t realise until I did a concentrated effort of them, was that the very benefits to others of the acts are reflected right back at us.

By carrying out the simple ‘feel good’ acts, we learn what it is we give ourselves.

At the end of the week, I felt much happier generally.  I also felt inspired by the people I had researched and the websites found.  My week of RAOKs has turned into something I will do every day.

Below I have listed some kindness ideas that I would love you to try and then a fabulous website that reduced me to tears when I read the stories.

In less than 5 minutes of our time, we can enrich someone else’s day for the better.

Quick Kindness Ideas:

• Place a note inside a book on cancer or depression at your local bookshop.
• Leave post-it notes around town with little messages on.
• As well as paying it forward at your local coffee shop, ask to write a note on the takeaway cup too!
• Take dinner over on a tray to a neighbour, complete with a napkin and a chocolate for dessert.
• Give a genuine compliment to a stranger.
• Praise a local business online.
• Gift a friend all the ingredients of your favourite recipe and put the recipe on a card.

Kindness Inspiration

My favourite part of the week was when I stumbled upon a fabulous idea that involves a fabulous act of kindness is More Love Letters.

Hannah set it up after moving to New York and feeling sad and lonely.  She started leaving random letters all around the city and turned it into a proper cause 400 letters later.

Now the company gets requests for mass letter writing to individuals who are struggling for different reasons.

I wrote to Anne after reading her story:

Anne’s Story

Anne’s daughter reached out to us + shared a part of her story. She wrote:

My parents were deeply in love–if there were ever two people who were soulmates, it was them. They spent forty-five years together and even though there were hard times their love never dimmed. My father left my mother little love notes. He loved making her dinner and driving her to the beach.

However, on June 21st, my father collapsed and died on the bathroom floor. My mom found him, and that day all their plans for retirement and enjoying growing old together just evaporated. Mom is alone now, in a silent house that is suddenly empty.

My mom is a caregiver–she made so many sacrifices to take care of her elderly parents, to take care of me when I went through major depression, and she took care of dad. She took care of everyone. But now she is alone and hurting. People are going on with their lives now, and the rush of sympathy and support has naturally slowed after my father’s passing. My mother cries a lot and her smile has gone. She is alone and lost, and I would love for her to know some people care.”

Please join us in penning words of hope + love to Anne.

PLEASE MAIL ALL LETTERS TO:

Anne’s bundle

℅ Rebecca J.

2 Dunns Bridge Lane

Dover, NH 03820

USA

Perhaps you would like to join me in writing to her too.

Hannah Brencher her and her More Love Letters group that do incredible work are found here  

Concentrating on my local town, I shall start there.  Hannah started her journey to building the website by leaving random letters around NYC.  I would love to turn my local town into one that spreads a message of kindness.  I am adopting Hannah’s idea by leaving notes or letters where I go.

If you happen to pick one up, I hope it inspires you to do the same.

Let’s take a little time and make someone else’s day a better one.

Until next week

The post Kindness Rocks appeared first on .

A drawing is simply a line going for a walk ~ Paul Klee

Unless you are an artist, drawing is one of those things we stop doing after childhood.

The last time I remember drawing regularly was doodling on a piece of paper whilst sitting a GCSE exam, we were given paper alongside our test paper and I remember using it to doodle on.  

What I realise now, is that the doodling was my go-to when anxious.

I started this week of my best year yet project wanting to increase my creativity.  It did.  What I REALLY took away from the week though was what a great tool it is for coping with anxiety.

‘The sciencey bit’

Before you click away saying to yourself “I can’t draw”…it doesn’t matter.  Science says so.

Girija Kaimal, Assistant Professor of creative arts therapies at Drexel University conducted a study on examining the effects of making art on stress-related hormones in the body.

The results were published in Art Therapy: Journal of the American Art Therapy Association.  It was titled “Reduction of Cortisol Levels and Participants’ Responses Following Art Making”. 

The study found that 45 minutes of creative activity significantly lessens stress in the body, regardless of artistic experience or talent.

The study invited 39 adults ranging from 18 to 59-year-olds and tested their levels of cortisol before conducting the study.  In short, they then spent 45 minutes creating whatever they wanted.

The Result? After the ‘craft party’ the participants were re-tested and 75% had lower levels of cortisol.

What is interesting about the study is that it made NO DIFFERENCE whether they had artistic talent or not.

Phew.

That’s good.

My artistic talent had severely dwindled over the years.

I chose drawing as my artistic exercise as it is very portable.

Armed with a small sketchpad and a Christmas gift of a mindfulness colouring book I set to work.

Drawing – Getting started

If you want to join in on this then you can get started very simply with the following:

Sketchbook

A couple of pencils – I used an HB, 2B, and 4H (it was what I had in my stationary box!)

Some colouring pencils

Eraser

Fineliner (not essential)

I started out by looking at some videos on YouTube and found these gems to get me going:

and

Just get going!

I set to with a fresh sheet of paper and sat there staring at it for a good 10 minutes…..

I found a picture of a robin and thought that might be a nice start (I love them!).

The proportions were completely wrong on the first couple of attempts so I scrapped them and then by the third outline there was a shape I could work with (that didn’t look like a snowman…)

It was so therapeutic just stroking the page with coloured pencils – trying to get a feather-like appearance.

An hour flew by and I had something resembling a robin.  I realised I had been completely absorbed in what I was doing.  Although the finished article was ok, I could see how I would do it differently next time.  

The point of it was, I loved doing it.  I felt calm, creative and inspired.

Drawing in different forms

As the week went on, I did more drawings and again was completely absorbed in them.  Each time I sat down to draw I could feel any anxiety lifting within minutes.

I dug out a colouring book that had been gifted to me and spent 10 minutes each day colouring an elephant. 

It seems colouring in as a therapy is nothing new – Carl Jung would prescribe it to patients thinking it would help his patient’s access their subconscious and new self-knowledge.    Many psychologists suggest it as an alternative to meditation, it is a calming tool and a vehicle for relaxation.  It helps the individual focus on the intricacies of colouring complex patterns and focuses on staying in the moment instead of more destructive behaviour patterns.

It struck me that part of the reason I loved drawing so much is that I was doing it for the sheer joy of it and not focusing on an outcome or goal.

There are plenty of places to buy these books now – Amazon has a great selection!

Combining drawing and colouring

Towards the end of the week, I wanted to combine the drawing I was enjoying with the therapeutic benefits of colouring.

I got into Zentangle a few years ago, it is one of the most creatively satisfying processes I have enjoyed.  I hadn’t done any for a while so, in this creative week, it was time to start again.

What is Zentangle?

• Zentangle is an easy to learn, fun way of creating beautiful pictures made up of patterns.
• Traditionally, Zentangle drawings are always created on 3.5 inch (8.9 cm) square tiles, and they are always done in black ink on white paper with grey pencil shading.

The best resource for learning the true Zentangle patterns is here  

From the Zentangle website, they state “By avoiding common blocks to creative flow such as self-criticism, fear of failure, lack of immediate positive feedback, worrying about outcomes, frustration with lengthy training, lack of inspiration and doubts about what to do next, you can create beautiful art right away.”

If you are a perfectionist or get anxious when trying to master something Zentangle is perfect – because you start with small squares you don’t get overwhelmed by spending hours on a big sheet of paper.

It is a structured form of doodling, a method that I wish they would teach to kids so they can take this form of meditation forward with them into adulthood.

Some folks have taken the process of Zentangle and formed incredible art with it.

One of my favourites to follow on Instagram is @zentagleh amongst others.

This rabbit is a project I would love to work on.

So I have finished this week full of creative ideas and much less anxiety.  The simple act of putting pencil to paper has quite remarkable results.

Why not come and get some ideas from my Pinterest board, there are drawing tips, links and Zentangle images to inspire you to pick up a pencil and get started.

This next week is all about Random Acts of Kindness and I cannot wait to spend a whole week trying out different kindness ideas.

With love from (a less anxious)

The post How drawing reduced my anxiety in 10 minutes appeared first on .

 

A tree that is unbending, is easily broken.  Lao Tzu

When I was younger I dropped into the splits without a care in the world, often staying down there examining to see whether I had sprouted any leg hairs well before puberty started.

Now I am lucky if I can touch my toes.  Seriously.

I was reminded just how inflexible I had become last October whilst at YogaFit Retreats.  I was there to give a few talks and take out running groups, whilst there I took a few yoga classes.

One of the classes I really enjoyed was led by my wonderful friend Amy.

I love everything about what Amy represents as an instructor.  She is kind, softly spoken, encouraging and has a no-bullshit approach to yoga and flexibility.

Don’t get me wrong, if she caught you chatting in class she would probably give you ‘a look’, but she is there for you and wants to you feel the best you possibly can.

I told her that the focus of my week was flexibility and she came up with some wise words for us all:

“I can’t do yoga, I’m not flexible enough.”

The universal excuse.

So why do we do it? Most people I talk to, when they think it through for more than a millisecond, realise the ridiculousness of the above statement. I think most of us know It’s one of the benefits of yoga to become more flexible, not a requirement.
So why are we so fearful about touching our bloody toes?!
Is it the pain of the actual stretch, the fear of the unknown, or dealing with what we consider to be our own inadequacy? Maybe all three.

It also doesn’t help that yoga is not now just a spiritual practice. It’s big business. And in order to sell the business, we see images everywhere of beautiful yogi’s in shapes that can look somewhere a little close to contortion for the average joe.

In my classes, I’m more of a fan of mobility than flexibility. Strength plays a massive part in that. It’s great that you can hold a beautiful dancers pose, but can you let go of the foot and keep it there using the strength in your hamstring? No? Then that’s where your work is.
It depends on who I’m teaching, but realistically do we practice yoga so we can drop into a full split, or so that tying our shoelaces is a little easier? So that our bodies stay a little taller? So that we stop and consider before we snap at someone? I know what most of my students would say.

The aim of the pose is not to achieve it. It is:

• Not to grab the toe or put your leg behind your head or lick your elbow.
• The sensation you feel because of the way you’re moving your body.
• Settling into your breath, increasing the mobility in your joints whilst keeping them strong so your legs can keep on holding you up for longer.
• Getting to know yourself a little better.
• Being flexible enough to try.

Increasing flexibility

I started off the week with some research (my favourite thing!) and found some interesting tips and videos.

Interestingly, a lot of the research out there states the opposite of what we have been led to believe – that in fact stretching for many sports offers little to no benefit.

(If you have a spare couple of minutes – this is worth a read)

Phew.  In all my ultra training I barely stretched at all (and didn’t suffer injury).

It turns out that mobility is what we should be striving for and not whether or not we can limbo under a foot-high pole.

Could Yin Yoga help with my flexibility?

I have always been intrigued by Yin Yoga.  I think it is because it is the opposite of my usual approach to life i.e. ‘go go go’.

The principle behind Yin Yoga is that it doesn’t just work the muscles that we are all driven to make stronger, longer, bigger etc.  Yin Yoga targets the connective tissues, such as the ligaments, bones, and even the joints of the body that normally are not exercised very much in more dynamic exercise.  It is these connective tissues that can become stiff, unyielding and immobile.

A few years ago a friend sent me a link to her authority on all things Yin – Bernie Clark.

Bernie has been teaching yoga and meditation for 20 years and has a bachelor’s degree in science, enabling him to apply logic and understanding to the nature of things.

When I first tried his Yin Yoga class, I was surprised just how hard I found it.

It sounded so simple – a set of asanas (postures) that you get into and hold for varying lengths of time.

I imagined it to be relaxing.

It wasn’t.

I clearly remember being in a posture called Dragon.

His soothing and gentle voice acts as a guide in the video and yet all I wanted to do was scream expletives out loud.  Everything was shaking.

A more flexible (sorry!) approach was called for…

So I revisited Bernie’s Yin Yoga approach this week and I can honestly say it has made a big difference!

Instead of trying to make each posture perfect, I used all the props he recommends to get more comfortable in the postures.  Pushing your way through it doesn’t work.

Breathing and just allowing the feelings and resistance to come up, work wonders.  I feel lighter, taller and well less rigid.

His website is an incredible resource – links to classes, videos and his excellent book meant that I could spend this week really getting more flexible and thus more mobile.

I really recommend you all try it – I am going to spend 15 minutes every day using Yin Yoga for mobility.

Mental Flexibility

This week I also focused on mental flexibility.

I had become dogmatic, unbending and stuck in my routine and ways.

So I spent the week attempting to just ‘go with the flow’.

Karl Albrecht writes for The Psychology Today and had some excellent advice on this matter:

“For many, many years I’ve been teaching executives, managers, and professional people, in seminars all over the world, three simple statements that seem to have a magical effect on their success in dealing with others. Consisting of only 11 words in total, each of these three social mantras is a declaration of your right to be wrong.”

The three magic mantras are:

“I don’t know.”

“I made a mistake.”

“I’ve changed my mind.”

It hit me on Tuesday (when deep in Dragon Pose) that these three statements are three that I struggle with.

So they became my new mantras for the week.

Albrecht also mentions “These three semantic strategies are also cognitive and emotional strategies. They bypass the usual feelings of guilt, shame, inadequacy, or self-disapproval that we too often attach to our mistakes. Indeed, they might form the core of a personal bill of rights – paradoxically, the right to be wrong.”

It makes so much sense to me, I have been carrying around this need to get it all right and to cling on to my need for approval for things.  It is a short lesson that I encourage you to try to see if it makes a profound difference to you as it has me.

Flexibility in action

One of the biggest discoveries I made this week was how I could go back to running and stay healthy (and have a life!)

For those of you who aren’t familiar with my journey – I trained for and ran an Ultra last year but really battled with my health.  I stopped running at the end of October after a half marathon left me feeling exhausted.

This week, whilst in one of those challenging yin yoga postures, I remembered a podcast episode I had listened to whilst out on a long training run, a year ago.

It was an interview with Jeff Galloway, where he talked about his run/walk/run method.

Jeff has quite a pedigree – an American Olympian and the author of Galloway’s Book on Running. A lifetime runner, Galloway was an All-American collegiate athlete and a member of the 1972 US Olympic Team in the 10,000 meters.  He has run hundreds of marathons and claims his method makes running more enjoyable as you are less prone to injury and recover much faster.

Reported benefits using this method:

• A smart way to run – by giving you cognitive control over each workout.

• Allows you to carry on all of your life activities – even after long runs

• Motivates beginners to get off of the couch and run

• Bestows running joy to non-stop runners who had given up

• Helps improve finish times in all races

• Gives all runners control over fatigue

• Delivers all of the running enhancements without exhaustion or pain

Could this be for me?

I love to run.  I think it’s in my DNA.  It makes me feel alive.

During this week, learning to be more flexible, it really emphasized just how black and white I can be in my approach to life.  I tend to be all or nothing.  When I was coached through my ultra marathon training I became so hell-bent on getting it all right.

A flexible approach to life (which is ultimately my long-term goal) means that I CAN run.  I just need to approach it differently.

Jeff’s approach to training and racing is built on the premise that by having regular walking breaks means that you don’t allow the body to fatigue and tighten up.  My concern about the approach was that it would mean starting a race by running for 1 min 30 seconds and then walking for 30 seconds.

My monkey brain immediately taunted me with “Everyone is going to think you are a loser Bridget….  You can’t start walking just after you have started”.

Well, do you know what my response was?   “F**k them.  I am doing this for me”.

I don’t really negotiate with my monkey mind for too long these days.

On Saturday I tried it out on a nice 4 mile run in the pouring rain.  I finished the run breathing normally and smiling.  That’s got to be good right?

For those of you who would like to listen to the podcast interview with Jeff, you can listen to it here.

So that’s it for my recap of last week.  This week’s project is learning to draw – I spend so much time typing on a computer these days, it will be nice to do something creative!

Before I go, I am going to leave you with the incredible talent that is Nokulunga Buthelezi……. she takes flexibility to a whole new level….

If you would like to go and experience one of Amy’s classes she can be found at www.yogaamy.co.uk or by email amy@amyyoga.co.uk.

Until next week

The post Flexibility – a little more bend and a little less snap. appeared first on .

“Taking an image, freezing a moment, reveals how rich reality truly is.”  Ansel Adams

Photography is something I have always loved.  I took this photo whilst wandering along the South Bank, 15 years ago.

I was mesmerized by his playing, the fact that people were just walking past and not paying him much attention, too busy looking at the sights.

The sound he was creating was simply stunning.

A friend persuaded me to upload it to photo.net and to date it has had 2,400,000 views and over 7,000,000 impressions.

Haven’t taken many photographs since then and I love capturing the essence of life.

It’s Week 2 of my Best Year Yet and this week is all about reigniting that fire and capturing some beautiful memories.

Photography mishap:

I didn’t get off to a great start to the week as I forgot the battery for my camera.  Squashing my perfectionist tendencies, I decided to use an iPhone instead.

Every Monday I hold Tea & Company in one of my stores and this morning and this week, my lovely friends, Aaron and Rosella came in (bearing a beautiful cake they had made for us).

As they sat down, I stared at Rosella and just knew she had to be my first photograph of the challenge.

Here is today’s photo:

As the week went by, I didn’t feel that inspired. 

In hindsight, I think I needed to set a mini challenge each day – a different genre of photo and then I would have had to go out and capture it.

Finding a purpose

My purpose of the week though was to capture memories.

Chiara booked for us to go to our favourite little home away from home in the Cotswolds, Hope Cottage.

Inspired again to take photographs, I also realised that my creativity is severely quashed when I have too much going on in my head (running a business!).

Once there, I took both physical AND mental snapshots of my surroundings.

The cottage has wonderful views and the tiny hamlet in which it is situated offers the ultimate in peace and tranquility.

On our first night there we took our usual loop around the country lanes, sucking in the fresh air and counting our blessings.

Then as the sun came down and we returned to the cottage, I snapped the dusky valley.

I found my inspiration quite quickly!

My friend Richard Chambury (you can find him here) has a style of photography that I really enjoy.

He gave me some fabulous tips that I am going to use going forward….. not so much that I can learn to take better photos but I can capture the true essence of what I see with the naked eye.

A brief intro from Rich:

Tips for great photography – Richard Chambury

 Equipment Tip

Find your edge

What is the outcome?

Kick fear to the kerb

The best tip ever!

(Thank you for these wise words Rich!)

The week continued:

It was my Birthday on Saturday and I took a total of 0 photos (but I did eat lots of yummy food!).

Sunday was more productive as we went for a 3-hour walk in Woodchester Park.   Although the weather wasn’t great and the light a little flat, we had a wonderful walk with the dogs and the stillness and lush woodland was great for a little photography.

Here are the photos that best capture the memories of the day:

Chiara got snap-happy whilst away too (she is a fabulous photographer and does all her own images for CocoaMallow )

She managed to capture Charlie beautifully:

My big take-away from the week – living in the moment.

On reflection, we live in this social media driven world of ours, even at pop concerts now – people are standing there holding their phones in the air and trying to capture what they see.

The trouble is, we aren’t really SEEING.  We are simply recording our day-to-day lives without much thought about what we are sharing.  When we do share our photography, it is edited and augmented.

What I found interesting about the week was, on the days when I didn’t take any photos, I was still much more aware of appreciating what I was doing and I lived in the moment more.  When I look back on the week, I have very fond memories and have reignited my passion for photography so I will definitely be doing it more.

My next week is all about physical and mental flexibility…..

See you in a week when I will (hopefully) be touching my toes once again and have a less structured and controlled approach to my days………

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