Bridget Writes

Sleep Deprivation... A classic normal.

2012-01-29T09:21:00.000-08:00

I think somehow God was preparing me to handle a diabetes diagnosis in one of my children. Think about it. From before the time Clifford was born, I hardly ever slept, due to reasons out of my control, but still had a significant lack of sleep. Pregnancy didn't really help in the sleep department either. Then Clifford was born, well we all know how well newborns sleep don't we. He was in newborn sleep mode until 21 months, which btw was the time when his baby sister Abigale was born. Abby really never reached the ability to sleep through the night until she was 4, but before that time Miss Hayleigh was born and proved to be just like her siblings in the sleeping department. It wasn't until Chad helped to sleep train all of them they started sleeping through the night. But by this time I was already pregnant with the twins and uncomfortable from the get go with morning sickness that lasted all day well into 22 weeks of pregnancy. By the time the morning sickness subsided I was already too huge, and cramped inside by two bouncing baby girls that sleep just wasn't in the picture. Diabetes by the way entered into our lives shortly after we found out we were expecting.

So I like to look at the sleep deprivation as a challenge. Because if you think about it, even with diabetes in the picture I've already have been quite sleep deprived for around 9 years now. I know I can function on little to no sleep for an extended period of time. I've learned to understand just how my body works in that at the 8-9 day mark of only 2 to 3 hours of sleep per night I crash, and I crash hard. I think once I surprised myself and made it almost 2 weeks straight before hitting that sleep wall. It's pretty funny that I actually get excited when I get more than 5 hours of sleep in a night.

Although sleep deprivation is not easy for everyone. Caffeine however is our best friends in the department of lack of sleep when it comes to Diabetes. I guess in a way I am thankful for the preparation for the lack of sleep that would be created when Diabetes entered the picture, because by the time it happened, I already knew how much I could function and on how little sleep.

The Pancreas...

2012-01-24T11:07:00.000-08:00

I've decided to dedicate this blog post to the Pancreas. you never really realize how important this little organ is until you or someone you love is hit by a diabetes diagnosis. Sure that little pancreas in the picture here seems very cute and harmless, but I have to say he's a major pain in the tushie, or fingers, arms, legs, tummy (for those with diabetes). Did you know, that little guy is only between 6 to 10 inches long... How can something so small cause such big problems?

So what exactly is the job of the Pancreas?

The pancreas is a gland organ that is located in the abdomen. It is part of the digestive system and produces important enzymes and hormones that help to break down food. The pancreas has an endocrine function because it releases juices directly into the bloodstream, and it has an exocrine function because it helps to release juices into the ducts.

Enzymes, or digestive juices, produced by the pancreas are secreted into the small intestine to further break down food after it has left the stomach. The gland also produces the hormone insulin and secretes it into the bloodstream in order to regulate the body's glucose or blood sugar level.

Hmmm it seems that little guy has HUGE responsibilities. Since you are here and this blog is mainly about type 1 diabetes, with references to the love of my life :D.. You may wonder exactly what is type 1 diabetes (the type Clifford has), and what the pancreas has to do with it.

What is type 1 diabetes???

(Information from Kidshealth.org)

Type 1 diabetes results when the pancreas loses the ability to make the hormone insulin. In type 1 diabetes, the person's own immune system attacks and destroys the cells in the pancreas that produce insulin. once these cells are destroyed they will never make insulin again.

Although no one understands for certain why this happens, scientists think it has something to do with genes. But genes for diabetes isn't usually enough. A person probably would then have to be exposed to something else like a virus to get type 1 diabetes.

Type 1 diabetes cannot be prevented, and there is no way to predict who will get it. There is nothing that either a parent or the child did to cause the disease. Once a person has type 1 diabetes, it does not go away and requires lifelong treatment. Kids and adults with type 1 diabetes depend on daily insulin injections or an insulin pump to control their blood glucose levels.

So basically how I like to look at it is Clifford's immune system got bored and decided just for fun to go attack his pancreas. Unfortunately because the pancreas is such a small little guy, he didn't even stand a chance against the big bad immune system and threw in the towel. So I guess in all of this if there is someone or something we want to be mad at its the immune system. I mean there are way better things to do when you're bored then to go attacking innocent organs.

So there, now you have it. That's the basic breakdown of what the pancreas is and its responsibility for what its role in type 1 diabetes is... Any questions?

Diabetes is... This pancreas is....

2012-01-23T09:28:00.000-08:00

So to begin these last few days Diabetes has become:

Fear
Frustration
Worry
Exhaustion
Menace
Headache

I'm beginning to think I look like this image, at least it's how I feel. Only 1 break in the never ending highs from whatever has made Clifford sick. He finally got to 161 yesterday at bedtime only to skyrocket to 300+ at 11pm, which resulted in a correction shot while he was sleeping. Even though I said, "Clifford, I have to give you a shot", he never woke up. And I'm sure eventually if he reads this he will yell at me, but I have found that if I have to correct him in his sleep the top of his bum is the best place to give him a shot, more meat, less likely to wake up. He's up and moving around a little more today than he was yesterday but we still have bg readings of over 300. Honestly at this point as it's almost day #3 of high's like I feel like I'm failing as his pancreas. I know I'm doing the best I can with whatever illness is causing these highs but there is a small part of me that feels like I'm failing him.

It may be difficult for others who do not know a life with Diabetes to understand, but I really try as best I can to keep him within range, and when things such as this jump into the picture to throw a wrench into everything it's just nothing short of disappointing.

I am going to refer to myself as Clifford's pancreas for this portion of the post, because if you think about it, I'm technically taking over his pancreases job, since it's no longer functioning properly on its own. It's basically like a tenant taking up space, not paying rent or doing any sort of work.... Lazy pancreas.

So in reference to Clifford's pancreas (me) there are a few things that this pancreas is these last few days as well.

Exhausted
Frustrated
Worried
Loving
Helpful
An over analyzer
and most importantly unlike his actual pancreas
Doing the best job I can!

The point to all this is that you can see from the beginning of the post diabetes has taken it's toll on us these last few days, but I'm always optimistic that we can beat this and figure out what's going on to make the changes needed. So in it all even though Diabetes is being a royal pain in the butt, it's not winning. We are!

Illness and Diabetes

2012-01-22T10:53:00.000-08:00

I know I've posted a few times about illnesses and how they are usually harder to handle when Diabetes is in the picture. However I wanted to tell the story from my morning with Clifford. He started with a cough yesterday and complaining of a sore throat. Yesterday not much occurred other than he ran pretty high all day long, which is unusual for him to be really high at home. No matter the corrections given, etc, etc, he still was high. But we all know that is one of the downsides of an illness and Diabetes. So now the story from today. It was 5:40, Clifford wakes yelling for me, not saying Mom, no yelling Mommy! Now tell me what that thought puts in your head when your D kid is yelling for you. I stumbled as best I could running up the stairs after being awake all night. He's in the bathroom and yelling because he can't get up, he feels too shaky. First thought, "Are you dizzy, do you feel low?". Nope, just shaky and tired. I felt his head, my next reaction to that, and he was burning up. Come to find out he was running a temp of 102. Gave him some Ibuprofen, checked his bg# just to be on the safe side you know, and he was still high at 303. So I put him back off to bed with a drink of water. Come 8:45 he is still sleeping, unusual for him but heck the boy is obviously sick. At 9:00 I decided to go make sure he's still "sleeping", then decided to test his bg#, well he wakes up in the middle of me testing, not really making any sense at all. He kept pointing to my face saying he was fine and he was right here (while pointing to my face). First thought was he was low and out of it. Nope BG#313, then #353, tested twice to make sure. Had to go through the whole rounds of asking him his name, age, and where he was at, to which he responded "Outside". Honestly all this lasted maybe 2 minutes but I can tell you for those brief two minutes of him not understanding where he was or what was going on how scared I was. He eventually came too, and said I was being silly. I think I woke him up when I was testing him and he was just out of it from that.

But the point to this is that an illness with Diabetes sucks. There is no other way of putting it. The flu can land kids and PWD in the hospital because without food in their tummy's and getting sick they can have big dips in blood sugar that could be fatal. A common cold is a pain in the rear end because it sends blood sugar skyrocketing. And whatever Clifford has right now is a pain as well. With these higher blood sugars he runs the chance at developing ketones, which well we all know how fun those can be. Thankfully after checking with our Blood Ketone meter (love that little thing) we are at 0.0!

Awareness, Advocacy-Our way!

2012-01-21T06:00:00.000-08:00

Drama is everywhere and unfortunately even in the DOC. I mean seriously it's a bit ridiculous if you think about it because we are all fighting the same battle, in different ways but we are all FIGHTING diabetes.

If you choose to raise awareness by walking in a JDRF walk, then I'm proud of you. You are raising awareness your way. If you choose to raise awareness by telling everyone you meet about diabetes, then I'm proud of you too. If you choose to wear your blue heels, and let others know exactly what they stand for, then I'm proud of you. Do you see a pattern here? I'm proud of you however you choose to raise awareness and advocate. It doesn't matter how you do it, the important thing is you are doing it!

We all are fighting this fight whether we are a PWD, or a parent to a CWD, or a spouse of a PWD, we all are doing the same thing. I don't see the reason to jump on someone because they are not raising awareness and advocating the way you like.

So to Alexis, Diane, and Tony, know that I am proud of you all for the work in raising awareness and advocacy you all are doing!

I cannot forget to give a shout out to Noah (aka The diabetes Dude), and his family! I'm proud of you all too!

To all the other members in the DOC, I'm here to let you know that no matter what you do that "I'm proud of you for doing it".

Bottom line

I'm proud of you all!

Diabetes: Staking MY claim.

2012-01-20T12:54:00.001-08:00

About a week ago I was asked to do a guest spot on this blog. The topic I was given was about being a Step-parent to a child with diabetes. About two years ago when Bridget and I were about a month and a half into our newly rekindled romance Clifford was diagnosed with T1 diabetes. This came as a giant shock to both of us and I spent the weekend sitting in different waiting rooms ( I was chased from waiting area to waiting area by a very disgruntled ex-husband) waiting for updates on Clifford's condition and how our lives and relationship were going to change. My life was in turmoil from my own life going to crap and I did not want to abandon Bridget in her time of need and this disease was not going to scare me off. I'm a combat veteran I've survived scarier!

The hardest part for me in dealing with all of this is that I'm not Clifford's biological father. I have no legal rights to the boy. I am not allowed (by law) to make any of the decisions that concern his diabetic care, even though I know more about T1, I have been to more clinics, and I have taken more classes than his biological father. Although Bridget does allow my input which means a lot to me. It would get very aggravating for me to see him go off to his biological father's place and come back with stories of eating whatever he wanted(this is pre-carb counting)and numbers that were all over the place or high as a kite. It also currently drives me nuts to go to all these classes and do all the leg work only to have this guy come in second guess the directions that we send along and call the hospital to get someone to give him a different easier answer.

In the end I have willingly chosen to have diabetes in my life and I do it happily and lovingly. I love my T1 kid and his incredibly strong mother. Yeah I know he's not MINE, but he IS mine and I layed claim. It's a territorial man thing.

Diabetes Secrets revealed

2012-01-20T07:39:00.000-08:00

Brace yourself and get your notebook in hand because I'm going to reveal some crazy secrets about diabetes.

I'm sure everyone and their grandma have heard a ton about diabetes on television thanks to the likes of those like Dr. OZ (don't get me started on him). Anyways the secrets revealed may actually surprise you, so take a look.

MYTH: Diabetes is not that serious of a disease.

FACT: Diabetes is a killer, it stalks and preys on everyone who suffers with it daily, from children to adults.

MYTH: Eating too much sugar causes diabetes.

FACT: Type 1 is an autoimmune disorder, basically Clifford's immune system got bored and a wee bit confused and decided to have some fun and go attack his pancreas. Sorry pancreas, you were just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

MYTH: You can catch diabetes from someone else.

FACT: Wow, just wow! Come on we're not talking about the common cold here.

MYTH: You can't eat that, you have diabetes!!

FACT: I'm pretty sure no one has told you that you can't eat that cupcake because you have brown eyes, I mean let's get educated about this.

Just because a person with diabetes has a non working pancreas doesn't mean they can't enjoy the same foods they have before... Just like everyone else in moderation is the best choice. And with the right amount of insulin to cover the carbs, they can enjoy their treats.

The one secret of diabetes that is not as fun to share is this:

The first thing on my mind when I wake up in the morning is if Clifford made it through the night. The last thing on my mind when I go to sleep is "I hope Clifford makes it through the night".

When Clifford wakes up later than his sisters and I have to go up to his room to wake him up. That short trip up there feels like a lifetime and my heart beats like crazy just wondering what I'm going to see when I get in there. I stare at him for a moment and when I see he's breathing I breath a little easier. When he moves and wakes up to the sound of his name I breath a lot easier.

So there you have it. I've revealed some of the secrets about diabetes. But unlike other secrets I ask for you to share these ones with everyone you meet, perhaps in time we can squash all these diabetes rumors for good.

Celebrate Life- A challenge

2012-01-19T11:22:00.000-08:00

Life with Diabetes is beyond our control. And if you're like me that usually means daily frustrations and over analyzing of what is going on or what can go wrong. However for a day, an hour, a minute, or even a brief moment I challenge you to put all that aside, and celebrate life! Instead of concentrating today on the things we cannot control, let's look at one positive in our lives, LIFE!

Take a look around at your family and friends, and be joyous that you all have one thing in common to be happy about, LIFE!

When your son or daughter D or non D wakes up in the morning, give them a hug and a kiss, and let them know how happy you are to be sharing your morning with them. I guarantee one of two things will happen, they will be super excited, or think that mom/ dad has gone off their rocker. Either way it's a small sign of affection that I'm sure your children will remember from sometime.

When you deal with Diabetes on a daily basis you cannot take life for granted. There are times with the business of everyday life that we become too "busy" and sometimes forget what matters the most. But don't worry or fret about those days in the past, take the time today to celebrate. We live blood sugar by blood sugar in the Diabetes world. It's frustrating, exciting (when good #'s), and down right exhausting.

So put on a smile, think of what you have to be grateful and happy for and take a moment or two to celebrate. And remember the best part of it all is LIFE!

Hope through a broken heart

2012-01-18T06:28:00.000-08:00

Clifford doesn't even doubt that there will never be a cure for diabetes. When he talks about a time when he doesn't have "D", he states it just like stating a fact, or his name and birth date. He is very certain there will be a cure, and even says if not then he will find it, since he cannot be in the military he wants to be the doctor that cures diabetes if it hasn't happened before then. But one thing remains constant he has unlimited HOPE that it will happen. It is that hope you must hold on to when conversations like this morning happen. Clifford told me before getting his injection at breakfast that he isn't happy with his life, I asked him to explain more and he said, not his whole life, he loves his life, but he isn't happy with the diabetes part. This after his sister Hayleigh, pouted because she wanted insulin last night. Clifford told her she didn't need it that her pancreas works and that's a really good thing.

He said this all with no emotion, and acted like he was just stating a fact. I'm very happy and overwhelmed with joy that he has unlimited Hope for a cure, because honestly I can use some of that to rub off on me. There are day's I'm not so sure. But the part where he states he is not happy with his life, the diabetes part, just takes your heart and breaks it in two, especially said from an 8 year old with no emotion just stating a fact. We know how strong our D kids are and how well they handle the whole situation that you sometimes forget they battle themselves in their heads as well with what D has thrown onto their plate. It's simply nothing short of heart breaking that he feels this way at 8. He shouldn't have anything to worry about at 8 other then homework at school, or having to go to bed too early. Instead he deals with more.

In addition to all this that Diabetes throws at us, there is the guilt. He's been running high at night-time and during the day at school, for 1 million reasons that cannot be figured out because that is how Diabetes is. He wanted a caramel apple lollypop that he was permitted to have on Friday. Well he's been asking for this lollypop since Sunday evening and here it is Wednesday and he still hasn't had it. Why not because he CAN'T have it, he can, he can have anything he wants, just cover the carbs. The problem is I'm trying to get these high's under control and figure out what is going on, and I didn't want to add anything new into the picture right now. He's only had that lollypop once, and he had a good bloodsugar before hand and a good one after. It's still too new that I have no real idea how it affects his blood sugar. So here is hoping that before week's end we can get back on a somewhat normal track, if there is one, so he can have his lollypop.

There you have it, not a full 100% bright and shiny post, but full of 100% truth. Diabetes is about many things, but from the last few days diabetes has been about

Guilt
Stress
Hope
Facts
Frustration
Confusion
Anger
Awareness
Advice

Not all bad, but you get the picture.

The reality of diabetes

2012-01-15T14:18:00.000-08:00

This picture might seem a little shocking or perhaps a bit exaggerated to those that don't understand the reality of diabetes. This is how the majority of us "D Parents" imagine diabetes trying to sneak up on our kids, especially at night time. Night time is always the scariest time that one can imagine. It doesn't show on the outside, but on the inside I'm scared to death of what is going on. I've learned to let go a little bit on the constant overnight testing but still probably not as much as his endo and others would recommend. Last week Medtronic released what I'm referring to as the HOLY GRAIL for D parents, short of a cure that is. You can read more about this amazing product called the mySentry This seems like a wonderful device that will help a lot of D parents, T1 kids, and PWD all around. Unfortunately it is not covered by any insurance right now and comes with a hefty pricetag of $3K but they are offering it at a discount of $2400 right now.

While this is a step in the right direction it's definitely not a cure. So the beast that is seen in the image above is still in our lives daily 24/7/365. We fight back our best with the weapons we have. The mySentry is just the newest weapon we are putting into our arsenal. But the reality of diabetes is still a dark and uncertain one. It sounds scary, and it is scary, however we don't let it run our lives. Clifford still gets to do all the things the other kids do, we just have to be more aware of what's going on in his body. So until a cure is found we will keep on fighting the beast the best we can.

Pump Process

2012-01-14T09:01:00.000-08:00

I knew starting out it would be a bit of a journey to getting started in the pump process, however it seems that it's even more tricky of one than I expected. We took the necessary courses, carbohydrate counting in August, and Pre-Pump Classes in Dec. Now mind you back in December the educator made it sound like the process would be a breeze and I quote her.

"You will submit for your pump, they'll ship the pump to your house, you'll get educated on site, changes, pump functions, and get started on saline, a week later you will come back in and go live on insulin".

Hmm sounds pretty good. However here we are 1 month and 2 weeks later, and we are still no further along really then where we were in December. We decided to go with the Medtronic Minimed and was told the process to getting approved through our insurance usually takes up to 30 days. Well look now it's well over 30 days and where are we?

The information for the pump was finally submitted, and is in the works of being processed, reviewed and pending approval through the insurance company, which now we're basically waiting another 30 days... Oh and where do we stand with the CGM you might ask??? A certain insurance claim handling lady from Children's is attempting to make the decision that it is a waste of time trying to get the CGM approved through Clifford's Insurance.... She is basically refusing to do her job and submit the needed paperwork, which by the way is only 2 documents, probably a total of 5 to 10 minutes of her precious (has a working pancreas) time. I like to throw that last little bit in there because she still has a working pancreas, and all I'm asking is for a chance to make my son's (non working pancreas) life a little easier. So 5 to 10 minutes out of her time to do her job is not asking that much. So in speaking with Clifford's case manager through the insurance company it seems they actually get this wait for it, approved a cgm ... Wait what back the train up because said insurance claims lady stated they NEVER approve them. Whoops looks like she was wrong. So now the case manager is going straight to the doctor to get the necessary paperwork that needs signed so we can start the process for the approval of the cgm. I don't see us getting it anytime soon, but I do see us getting it eventually. I also see said insurance claims lady getting a talking to one way or another for not doing her job.

On a positive note I've included the picture at the top of what Clifford's new $7K pancreas will look like, isn't it pretty!

Guest Blogger

2012-01-12T15:11:00.000-08:00

After reading David Edelman's awesome blog post about "Marrying into Diabetes: A Husband's Perspective", a good question arose about if there was an article out there about Marrying a Parent with a Type 1 Child. That got me thinking that I could somehow talk Chad into becoming my first "guest blogger", to offer some insight on what it is like to Marry into Diabetes from a Step Parent's perspective. And I'm very happy to announce that he has taken me up on my offer, I like to think I was very convincing when I asked him. Chad will be able to put more of a better spin on it from his point of view, but all I will offer right now is that we were together merely 1 month and 12 days when Clifford was dx'd.

So I'm hoping to be able to post his guest blogging spot up here soon. And feel free to ask questions when he does make his first appearance! So check back soon!

The Diabetes Fairy

2012-01-06T05:54:00.001-08:00

It seems that the diabetes fairy has graced us with her presence overnight as of late. I posted yesterday about Clifford's overnight numbers which let's recap (97 at bedtime, 127 at 11pm, 131 at 1am, 115 at 3am, and 93 at wake up....I celebrated that as a small victory. I didn't however expect to be celebrating another small victory today. His numbers stayed as steady as one could ask. He was 95 at bedtime, 128 at 11pm, 127 at 3am, and *drum roll please* 129 at wake up. I don't think you could ask for anything more steady and constant. I'm super excited by these numbers. Now that is not to say we will continue on that path the rest of the day, but for overnight that is another small victory to add to our calendars! So as I stated, it seems that the diabetes fairy has graced us with her presence. I thought about what I'd imagine a diabetes fairy would look like, and I'm assuming it's something like the picture of the thing I created above... Besides a diabetes fairy should have all the D supplies one would need, right? Whatever it is, I would like the diabetes fairy to stick around at our house a little while longer, say..... Indefinitely! I don't think that is really too much to ask. Oh yes, and notice from the picture above, (a rainbow) now I just need to figure out someway to add in unicorns and glitter and we'll be on track.

Artificial Sweetener

2012-01-05T05:56:00.000-08:00

I asked the question about artificial sweetener to the DOC yesterday via Facebook and received quite a response. So it got me thinking more about it and wanting additional opinions from others. You see we're not quite two years into this Diabetes adventure. In the beginning we tried Sugar Free everything. Clifford loved to drink Crystal Light, Sugar Free Koolaid, etc, etc. However after doing some research and recognizing how much aspartame affected his tummy, I decided aspartame was not for him. The only exception to this rule was the occasional diet soda. I really despise Crystal Light, and really only for this reason. The one memory of Crystal Light that sticks in my head is from when I had to use glucagon on Clifford. He came down for a drink and was permitted to pour himself a cup of crystal light. I remember having to clean up the after effects of such act as he spilled the Cherry crystal light everywhere. While I was cleaning up this mess, Abby came running down and said Clifford fell in his room and wasn't moving. I ran upstairs to find him face down beside his bed, unconscious. After trying to get him to speak to me and getting no luck, I had to administer his glucagon shot. And I will tell you this, no matter how much training with the glucagon you have, it doesn't make it easy or helpful when your hands are shaking trying to prepare that HUGE needle to push into your unconscious child's body. He recovered from that hypoglycemic event and really doesn't remember much of it other than his short stay at Children's hospital. However I distinctly remember all the details. Crystal Light probably tastes great, and is good for a lot of people, however it gives Clifford tummy issues, mainly because of the aspartame, and well my memory doesn't help either..

So I will stop my rambling and get to the question. What type of artificial sweetener's if any do you use for yourself or your kids? For us the choice is beverages made with sucralose, and if he needs to sweeten up anything like cereal or tea, we go with sucralose, and stevia. I also give him the "real" stuff (shame on me) but he does get to drink orange juice for breakfast from time to time with the kids, and indulge in actual juice pouches, or V8 juices as well. I just make sure to include the carbs into the carb total and dose him with insulin accordingly.

And just because I'm really excited about it I want to share our overnight numbers. Clifford came home high from school 272, so after a correction and coverage of the carbs he was 97 at bedtime, he was then 127 at 11pm, 131 at 1am, 115 at 3am, and 93 at wake up this morning!! Talk about a good start to the day and GREAT steady numbers throughout the night. Small victories are great and I like to celebrate them even if it is for a short period of time.

Diabetes makes you crazy....

2012-01-04T06:01:00.000-08:00

There I've said it! FACT: Diabetes makes you crazy, well at least drives you crazy! For almost a week and a half every time Clifford ate he complained of stomach aches... What was the first thing to pop into my head, yet another chronic condition was trying to rear it's ugly head.... CELIAC'S.. He was tested well over 6 months ago and we got the news back that he was "Negative". That was surely a sigh of relief at the time. But like we all know in dealing with "negatives" a negative now doesn't mean it will still be a negative down the road. In fact because he is a Type 1 diabetic oh and throw in the added benefit of developing Hashimotos Thyroiditis (another autoimmune disorder affecting his thyroid), which now he is technically considered to have Hashimotos thyroiditis which has developed into Hypothyroidism he is at more risk for developing Celiac's.

In case you are not familiar with the conditions I'm referencing here is the low down on the two.

Celiac's disease

Celiac disease is a digestive disease that damages the small intestine and interferes with absorption of nutrients from food. People who have celiac disease cannot tolerate gluten, a protein in wheat, rye, and barley. Gluten is found mainly in foods but may also be found in everyday products such as medicines, vitamins, and lip balms.When people with celiac disease eat foods or use products containing gluten, their immune system responds by damaging or destroying villi—the tiny, fingerlike protrusions lining the small intestine. Villi normally allow nutrients from food to be absorbed through the walls of the small intestine into the bloodstream. Without healthy villi, a person becomes malnourished, no matter how much food one eats.

Hashimoto's Thyroiditis

Hashimoto's thyroiditis is the most common cause of hypothyroidism in the United States. It is named after the first doctor who described this condition, Dr. Hakaru Hashimoto, in 1912.

What causes Hashimoto's thyroiditis?

Hashimoto's thyroiditis is a condition caused by inflammation of the thyroid gland.

It is an autoimmune disease, which means that the body inappropriately attacks the thyroid gland--as if it was foreign tissue. The underlying cause of the autoimmune process still is unknown. Hashimoto's thyroiditis tends to occur in families, and is associated with a clustering of other autoimmune conditions such as Type 1 diabetes, and celiac disease. Hashimoto's thyroiditis is 5-10 times more common in women than in men and most often starts in adulthood.

So now that we've got all the technical stuff out of the way, back to the main point... Diabetes drives you crazy.

Not only have I've been trying like crazy to get him retested for Celiac's but add into the mix Annie who has been waking like a mad woman the last two nights. The kicker is last night she literally pee'd through 2 diapers. The second diaper took only a matter of 2-3 hours to soak. So yes, I will admit I tested her this morning while she slept like a baby, seeing as we have the Delica, and it's virtually painless on the lowest setting of "1" she never woke up. Happy to report she was a nice 93 fasting blood glucose number. A brief sigh of relief there.

But let's not forget last week how diabetes drove "us" crazy... The first incident was with Abby passing out at the skating rink after a fall, which btw I thought was a seizure during those few seconds she was unresponsive, which felt like hours to me. I say "us" crazy because Chad's first thought was "She's diabetic".... Now move forward to the next day when Hayleigh had been acting way more thirsty than normal, so yes I tested her and she was 143... However that was NOT a fasting number. So before I let Diabetes drive me even more crazy, I tested her in the morning before breakfast and she was 94!

I tell myself that at least we're more prepared and able to recognize the symptoms of diabetes early enough. However you are never prepared for the diagnosis of Diabetes, this is why it tends to drive you crazy so much. Add in there lows, not just "lows" but the meter actually telling me "LO" twice, and reading a "25" another time. I kept my calm, had him wash his hands and re-test and it read over 50 each time, but really 58 is still NOT a nice number. But I guess if I had to choose we'd take that over a "25" or "LO" any day.

Round up of 2011.....

2011-12-31T06:21:00.000-08:00

With a new year upon us many people reflect on their past year, what they have accomplished and what they want to have happen in the next year. For us we have started the process of getting Clifford on the pump. The paperwork has been filled out and sent in, and now we are just waiting approval from the insurance. So our biggest accomplishment dealing with diabetes of 2011 was moving towards the pump. Well I take that back, moving towards the pump was our 2nd biggest accomplishment of 2011 in dealing with diabetes. The first biggest diabetes accomplishment was that Clifford is still alive and healthy.

One of the biggest diabetes accomplishments in the DOC this year is The Blue Heel Society... Have you heard of them yet???? If not you really need to check them out. You can find them on Facebook at, The Blue Heel Society For more information about what the Blue Heel Society is all about please read ahead.

The Blue Heel symbolizes the pain & discomfort that cant be seen from the outside, for those living with Diabetes. Just like a fab heel.

This organization is dedicated to all people living with, caring for, or interested in diabetes. The Blue Heel Society was formed on November 13th, the eve of World Diabetes Day, 2011 by a dedicated trio of spirited advocates who committed themselves to promoting awareness, pursuing the continued fight for a cure, highlighting obstacles people diagnosed with diabetes are faced with, and promoting advocacy for the diabetes community as a whole.

The Blue Heel Society accomplishes this NOT by raising funds, but by fueling our crusade with the strength, dedication, and passion of our partners.

Our Mission:

Advocacy - Awareness - Encouragement - Support

The mission of The Blue Heel Society is to deliver a clear, united voice via organized assembly within our own affiliation, and also at local and national gatherings, events, conventions, and other venues, helping to dispel myths, offer education and to champion the needs of people affected by diabetes.

We choose to stand up, be seen, and be heard in our Blue Heels.

302-GOT-SHOE

@Copyright Tony Cervati 2011
Website
http://www.blueheelsociety.org

My other favorite part of 2011 in the DOC was Denise's Type 1 D Mom's song, which is a Parody of Katy Perry's California Girls, you can take a listen to it at My Sweet Bean and Her Pod

So now that I've discussed what parts of diabetes I felt were the biggest accomplishments and favorites of 2011 it's time to look forward to 2012 and discuss what I want to see. First and foremost the one thing I would like to see happen with each new year is for a cure.... I am looking forward to getting Clifford on the pump even though I know it will be like diagnosis all over again in learning a bunch of new things, but I'm fairly certain at least on our end we will catch on quickly. 2012 has a lot of great things in store especially in the beginning of the year. I cannot wait to see what the rest of the year will bring.

What's been going on......

2011-12-30T02:56:00.000-08:00

Wow, it's been quite some time since my last post. Since then Christmas have come and gone without much trouble, and now today we are embarking on Clifford's 8th birthday... So crazy that he is now 8, not sure how that is possible! Even though Christmas went off without much trouble, the days have still be busy and crazy. First being when Abby fell at the skating rink, and passed out. Now she is scheduled for an EEG and blood work, all of which I'm sure will come back fine, however its still pretty scary to me until they do. Hayleigh also started acting super thirsty, and of course I asked to test her. She was 148, however this was not a fasting number and she is getting tested first thing this morning to hopefully put my mind at ease there. Clifford also has been complaining of stomach aches for 4 days now after eating. His blood sugars have been great, some lows, but no highs. That was until 11pm last night when he was 299. So there I sat on the floor next to his bed, I let out a big sigh when I saw that number. I sat for a few minutes and debated with myself but ultimately decided to correct the number. I have put in a call to his endo to request a retest for Celiac's just to rule that out as stomach issues. Hopefully today turns out to be better for him since it is his birthday. I however am going to attempt to make a football shaped cake, so we will see how well that goes.

As bad as it may sound I was kind of excited to see that in the ton of blood work that Abby has to get her glucose levels are getting tested. I was going to ask about getting her A1c checked as well as Hayleigh's. I am still very much for having these done at checkups. But since they are not I am definitely not against requesting for them to be done, Just to make sure. They both have been tested for TrialNet and actually are due for their yearly recheck's here shortly, and both were negative. However with Diabetes in the house it's always in the back of your mind that it could take over another one of your children's bodies..

In all through everything going on, we're doing good. The kids are happy and enjoying the many Christmas presents they were blessed with from Santa. They are enjoying their Christmas vacation, all but Clifford that is as he is grounded for lying... Lying is one thing that is not tolerated with the kids, and we are trying to teach them now that it is not good and they must tell the truth at all times, even if they think they will get into trouble. Because they always get into more trouble when they lie. But for the day Clifford is un-grounded because it is his birthday. So he is excited to celebrate and get MORE presents lol. So here's hoping to good blood sugars, and good Swagging skills from his pancreas aka MOM in guessing all those carbs for the birthday goodies.

Shots..... "Do they hurt"...

2011-12-21T05:23:00.000-08:00

This morning the discussion in our house was about shots. Abby found out that on Friday she goes to the doctors and has to get a few shots. She immediately cringed, and tensed up and said "I don't like shots", "do they hurt???".... Hmmm I could say "it's just a pinch, and it will be all over". However I chose to let the expert in shots explain to her if they hurt, now this could have gone either way, he could have scared her more, or helped. Thankfully he helped. Clifford explained it feels like a little pinch then its all over. And that she only has to get them that day for a few minutes then not again for awhile, and to trust him that they don't really hurt because he get's them everyday!

Just a positive post about how diabetes can help to explain to a 6 year old how shots really only pinch. This week diabetes isn't the main topic of discussion there is something that even trumps that this time of year... SANTA! The kids have all seen Santa at school, and other events and they are very excited. They really haven't mentioned what they want from him, just that they need to leave him cookies, and Abby said she needs to write a letter to Mrs Claus too because she helps Santa too... HA that's right Santa it's not all about you, your lady is getting some credit as well.

Choose to be happy.

2011-12-04T05:51:00.000-08:00

Despite the hell of the last few days in dealing with an illness and diabetes, I choose to be happy! In the midst of vomiting, trying to keep blood sugars up, I choose to be happy! If you sit and stir it is not going to help anything at all. We've all been there, we've sat, yelled and cursed at diabetes for what it does, and is doing. Trust me, I've thought how much more simple the flu would have been to handle without diabetes in the picture. But right now I can't change that, I cannot change it at this very moment so despite the curve balls being thrown at me the last few days, I have chosen to be happy. And you know what I am happy, beyond belief. I've had my moments of self pity thinking how nice it would be just to SLEEP for once. But the lack of sleep I am experiencing now is keeping my son alive, so why shouldn't I be happy. He's alive this morning, he's, granted not feeling well, but he's up, breating, reading a book and that should count for a lot. So despite the last 5 days I'm happy, and I think the household is all around happy. If I were to sit and mope and pity myself and pity Clifford for being sick and dealing with what he has to deal with then the house would feed off of that and the kids would be miserable. Instead they are happy, smiling and playing, having a good old time. My point in all this, is you need to make a decision to choose to be happy despite whatever is being thrown at you. God doesn't give you anything more than you can handle, although sometimes it may seem like it you can get through it. Choose to be happy and you will see a change in yourself and everyone around you. If you don't think you have anything to be happy about think of this... You're alive right? Well that's always a good thing.......

Looking past diabetes for the day!

2011-12-03T10:07:00.000-08:00

Although we live with this lifelong chronic disease 24/7/365 from time to time it's refreshing to look past diabetes. For my look past diabetes today I am going to look into one of the most important reasons I get up daily with a smile on my face able to weather the storm. And let me introduce you to that reason now:

Have you every felt like a piece of your heart, your life was missing, and no matter what you did you could not feel complete? Well almost 2 years ago I found my missing piece. Happiness to me before was just a word, a word and feeling out of my reach. I remember the moment I knew my life was changed forever and for the better. I was 14, I don't exactly remember where we were or what was going on, but I remember laying down beside Chad looking over at him. I believe this was the same day he hit a wiffle ball right into my chest, but hey that's another story. As I was laying there staring at him and listening to him talk I knew that from now on he would always hold a piece of my heart. Even though I have had my share of strife and pain in my life after that moment when I was 14, I never felt alone. There was 8 years after high school that I didn't get to see him, that I worried about him and prayed he was happy.I didn't know what to expect when I searched him up on Facebook 2 years ago. I just wanted to see how he was, and what was going on with him now. I could have never imagined that the feelings I had all this time for the last 15 years would be returned much more over. I cannot explain the feeling of happiness I feel now, because there is truly no words for it. He is not only my missing piece but my best friend. No matter what is thrown at me now I know that because I am complete that I can handle it. It is probably creepy to him but there are times usually daily that I just look at him and wonder how I got so lucky. I think to myself, "He's so gorgeous, I could just eat him up".... okay maybe that is creepy, but w/e it's true. He's not only gorgeous as that is apparent by his handsome good looks :), but he's soo smart. I never had any expectations going into this with him other then I knew it just felt right, like it's always been this way. He is a great dad, not only to his boys and our girls but to all "OUR" kids. I could not imagine my life any differently. It may have taken me quite a while to let him know how I truly felt but I will now not let a day go by without letting him know I love him sooo much. Apparently it was in God's cards that one day I would be able to experience the feeling of happiness 10 times over. Who ever thought we would go from here:

to where we are today... I wouldn't change it for anything! Chad, I love you more than you will probably every know, this is why I insist that I am right when I say I love you MORE! You are my best friend, my heart and soul, and one of the best things to ever happen to me. I am very blessed to have you in my life.... <3 you.

High Bg #'s, corrections, ketones, oh my!

2011-12-02T12:21:00.000-08:00

I've come accustomed to understanding what is going on and why we are seeing certain #'s or ketones, etc. However I am completely baffled by the happenings of the last few days. On Wednesday Clifford woke up at 333 with moderate ketones, not feeling good, ate and wanted to go right back to bed. It took until 2pm to flush out the ketones and get his numbers finally under 200! The next day Pre Pump class, he was feeling great, but still numbers were high, with a 414 at Children's hospital for no reason, he had 4.5 units at Breakfast which is A LOT for him and it still didn't come down in fact it went up, but no ketones at this time. All day long there were no numbers under 200, in fact we concluded the night, or so we thought at 309, with a correction dose of 1.5 units, and 0.5 to cover the carbs for snack. 2.5 hours later you would assume his BG would be lower especially seeing as I opened a brand NEW bottle of humalog, and Lantus at bedtime, nope actually it was higher at 314. He was corrected again, and rechecked 1.5 hrs later, and still sitting at 254! I thought he would be okay and dip again at 3am due to his Lantus peaking, but nope, I was woken up at 1 am with him screaming out that he had gotten sick, in fact all over his floor. Once everything was cleaned up bg was checked and he was 163, but he got sick again, and again, and once more until 1:30 when he was finally sleeping with a BG# of 146. Finally at 2:30 I checked him he was only 133, and I treated since he would be dipping at 3am. I rechecked once more at 3 and he was now 121, time for bed. He actually slept straight through until 7:30. Wish I could say the same for me, I tested him once more at 5am before laying back down and he was 124. When he woke up we were at 98 and he was actually hungry, and his tummy was only hurting a little bit. He has been feeling much better all day long and I'm baffled as to if a virus hit him or he was feeling the unfortunate side effects from consistent high blood sugars for a day.

On the road to pumping

2011-12-01T13:49:00.000-08:00

Soon within the next few months our lives will change once more. This time for the better. Yes it will be almost back to diagnosis time again learning and getting used to a new "norm", but we will get the much needed flexibility. In addition we are "crossing fingers" we are approved for the integrated cgm that can be included which will help relieve some stress as well. We had our Pre-Pump class today and choose the Medtronic Minimed Paradigm insulin pump, we are thinking of going also with the Mio infusion set. This will be a whole new world of diabetes that we are not used to. It's exciting, confusing and scary all rolled in one. The funny thing about our Pre-Pump class is I felt at home, they were speaking my "language". I knew what they were talking about and learned a few things as well. It was nice to be around an environment that we deal with daily. So hopefully very soon you'll see a blog post with a picture of a smiling Clifford and his shiny new "pancreas".

Why do I feel so guilty...

2011-11-16T15:57:00.000-08:00

The life of diabetes is never ending. As every other night I usually test Clifford's blood sugar at midnight and 3am, however last night I was particular sleepy. I treated a low at 10pm, rechecked and he was back within range. I checked once more before going to bed, but decided not to check at midnight and 3am... In fact I said a little prayer and asked God to watch over him as he slept. I also asked if he were to go low for God to wake me to let me know, somehow, someway like in the past. Well around 1am Annie woke up and after I got her back to sleep I decided that could in fact have been my little sign and he was low. So I dragged myself upstairs in the dark with my little meter with a light in tow. I waited what seemed forever for those few seconds for the meter to beep, and low and behold he was 84! Which during normal daylight hours is not all that low. However at night this is not a number to mess with. SO I treated, waited and rechecked and he was back within range. After that it was a restful slumber until I woke up this morning. He was fine within range and happy, cheerful and most importantly alive! However after the other night the guilt is killing me. I keep asking what IF I did not wake up at that time and decide to check him since I didn't set the alarms. Two nights prior I set alarms for 1am and 3am since I had checked him at 11pm. I woke up at 7am freaking out because the alarms did not go off when I knew I set them on the iPod. However after looking at it they were both off and the 1am alarm was mysteriously deleted. Thankfully Clifford was awake and at a 156! But again the guilt... So I ask myself, he was fine, I caught the low last night but why do I still feel so guilty... When JDRF came out with their ad to open the eyes of the FDA a few weeks back it was wonderful and great they put the truth out there very right to the point. In case you haven't seen the ad you can view it here:

But I think the statistics shocked everyone (1 in 20), now that is why I feel so guilty.

It always could be worse.......

2011-11-10T06:12:00.000-08:00

I complained last night and this morning, even yelled at the alarm in the middle of the night because I was tired and wanted to sleep more than 1-2 hours a stretch. But after waking up and reading over some news feed throughout the Diabetic Online Community (DOC)I will take my complaining back, because it always could be worse. A family in Australia lost their 17 year old daughter during the night of November 8th to Type 1 diabetes... It's very sad that one cannot put their child to bed and know that they will wake up bright eyed in the morning. There have been many mornings when Clifford has slept in later than normal that I have tip toed slowly to his room for fear of what I might find. Even though he's tested overnight it's no guarantee that he will wake up in the morning.

It's unfortunate that it seems every month it seems another life or lives is lost and cut way too short because of this disease. Every month a stream of blue candles are lit in memory of those lost to diabetes. I will stop complaining of my lack of sleep and alarms going off ( I may not stop yelling at them) because it always could be worse, it always could be the latter....

With diabetes there is no guarantee
But it always could be worse

Diagnosis day is a tragedy
But it always could be worse

A full time job with no vacation or pay
But it always could be worse

A broken heart with an ache that will never cease to go away
But it always could be worse

That constant feeling of resentment
But it always could be worse

Sometimes we get lost in our own pain and torment
That we forget, it always could be worse...

I'm no beta cell...

2011-11-08T05:20:00.001-08:00

Have you ever had a moment where it seems like everything is hitting you all at once? How about a day that was just "off". For the most part I have handled (at least I think) Clifford's diagnosis as best as one can handle a diagnosis of a chronic lifelong illness. But there are days where I get more than frustrated at the disease. Just when you think you've gotten a little bit of a "handle" if there is even one with D, on it, BAM! You are smacked back into your place of the "unknown". There is no consistency whatsoever with Diabetes. NONE. Period. Seeing as it's Diabetes Awareness month perhaps it's best to vent my frustrations at D now, here for everyone to see exactly at some point what we all go through. I read, and read, and read, and even read some more to try to grasp a bit of an understanding at what is happening in my son's body. To try to understand as best I can how certain foods affect him. I measure his blood sugar, count the carbs and give what I think from my training is the best dosage of insulin to keep him with a good stable blood sugar. But I'm no "beta cell". In case you are not familiar with exactly with what a beta cell does, here it is. A beta cell is located in the islet cells in our pancreas. They constantly measure the blood sugar, and produce insulin as needed which helps us "Non D'" to maintain a stable blood sugar. Our pancreases are so awesome in fact when say we haven't eaten for awhile, our blood sugar will start to drop, but the pancreas senses this and shuts down the production of insulin and will begin to produce glucagon, which helps to bring the blood sugar back up. It's a perfect machine of balance.

Really there is no point to this post except there are times that I am very unhappy that I cannot function like the perfect little machine of the pancreas. I'm just no beta cell...