Bright Sol Sessions

no shame! love it!

2011-04-23T15:28:00.003-04:00

Check out: Catherine Zeta-Jones Has \'No Shame\' in Bipolar II Diagnosis http://t.co/n1P4keZ via @popeater

Ok, I don't "love it" b/c she has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder but I love that she doesn't see this as something to be ashamed of.

2011-04-23T15:25:00.000-04:00

tips for self care from madame noire

Wear Purple Day supports bisexual, transgender, lesbian and gay youth - National bisexual | Examiner.com

2010-10-20T11:40:00.001-04:00

We here at Bright Sol Sessions (well its just me) believe that EVERYONE should be allowed to live their lives to the fullest and as they are most comfortable. Being a teen is difficult enough without the added stress of bullying for being yourself. Lets all live and love!

Wear Purple Day supports bisexual, transgender, lesbian and gay youth - National bisexual Examiner.com

I love the blog Zen Habits...

2010-10-11T19:54:00.007-04:00

I came across this article on one of my favorite blogs and it puts into words the whole reason for starting this blog.

click here zen habits

Be Content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you. ~Lao Tzu

Study Says Nearly One in 10 in US is Depressed | Clutch Magazine: The Digital Magazine for the Young, Contemporary Woman of Color

2010-10-10T20:44:00.001-04:00

Vincent van Gogh's 1890 painting At Eternity's Gate

I'm not ashamed to admit I have some issues. Along with the regular, everyday "I hate my job", "men are pigs", "I ate a pint of Ben & Jerry's NY Super Fudge Chunk" issues, I also deal with depression. While I've learned how to successfully manage this, I feel that if there were less of a stigma to admitting and seeking help for this, more people would learn that you do not have to live a life of seclusion and sadness. I've posted on this before, but when I came across this article, I decided to post because knowing you're not alone and finding out how others cope is probably one of the first steps to your recovery.

Take care of yourselves!

Study Says Nearly One in 10 in US is Depressed | Clutch Magazine: The Digital Magazine for the Young, Contemporary Woman of Color

It's this Monday, if you observe-have a good one, I guess...

2010-10-08T20:41:00.003-04:00

Short and sweet...

2010-10-02T20:40:00.008-04:00

When i was younger, I had no idea what my life would be like when I get older, I couldn't think that far ahead. I was always one of the only Black kids in school, did the whole weirdly dressed (think Willow Smith) 'tween thing. I had glasses, braces, you name it, but I was pretty confident (or oblivious) and was able to make friends with pretty much anyone. Although I was never bullied, at times I was pointed out to be "different" and as a kid, that's like the kiss of death. Thankfully, I lived through those few short years and grew up to be the somewhat well adjusted, carefree, entertaining adult I am today. I moved to Brooklyn, found all the other "different kids" and embraced my weirdness.

If anyone had told me that being different was going to pay off in a few years, I never would have believed them, who listens to adults at that age? That is why it is so sad to hear of the recent rash of young people being bullied to the point of suicide for not conforming to what society deems "normal".

I don't have kids so I can't imagine the pain a parent must feel to know that their kids are being tortured and feel like this is the answer. The It Gets Better campaign started by Dan Savage on YouTube sends out messages to kids and their families with the hope of letting kids know that they're not alone. If your child or any other young person you may know is being bullied, you should read this.

Check this out if you or someone you know have ever considered suicide because of bullying.

10 Careers With High Rates of Depression - depression - Health.com

2010-10-01T10:54:00.006-04:00

It's no surprise that the thing you do 40+ hours per week (job/career/working for the "man"/whatever you want to call it!) has a huge impact on your well being. I found this interesting article (which included my chosen profession) and wanted to share.

While I love what I do, I know that it is easy to get bogged down with the days work and forget to take care of myself. My spirits are easily lifted with music, manicures/pedicures/massages, movies, reading, crafting and eating out with friends. I stay away from situations and people that promote stress and negativity. What do YOU do to make sure you're taking care of yourself after you've taken care of others?

Check out this link to see if your gig is listed.

Enjoy your down time!

To my father, brother, uncles and aunts and everyone who has served this country...this Memorial Day's for you! Thanks!

2010-05-31T16:05:00.001-04:00

Memorial Day

My advice is to say this or something similar everyday-you're bound to feel fabulous!

2010-05-17T20:03:00.000-04:00

Lena Horne, if you believe.mp4

2010-05-10T01:55:00.000-04:00

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY

2010-05-09T14:45:00.004-04:00

A happy Mother's Day to Betty Geneva Dorrington Stitt who I feel watching me daily. Some days she's happy with what she sees, other days she's saying "whose f*%king kid is that??!?" But all of the time, she's loving her children and what we have become under her direction and loving eye! Love ya' Mommy!

HAPPY HAPPY TO ALL THE FIERCE, FABULOUS, LOVING, GET IN YOUR ASS MOMMIES OUT THERE, NOT JUST TODAY, BUT EVERY DAY!!!

and so it begins...

2010-05-06T22:48:00.000-04:00

hello my friends! being a consistent blogger has obviously been a struggle for me. i guess organizing my thoughts and putting aside the time to post gets in the way of all of my other REALLY important things, like going to Trader Joes's, napping, talking on the phone and reading other peoples blogs!

but i have some exciting news!

i have recently become a licensed social worker in PA and NY! it has been my dream since grad school to help others address the areas of their lives that make them unhappy, feel "stuck", or just get in the way of living the best life possible. i'm now going to add psychotherapy to my resume. i've worked as a social worker for 7 years in various capacities including Mobile Therapist, Outpatient Therapist and Clinical Care Manger and prior to that as a Sales Rep for a couple of designers for 13 yrs in NY (prior to getting my masters in social work). while there doesn't seem to be a connection to these 2 fields, the one constant in my 20+ years of working has been my love of problem solving. as a sales rep, i had to work with my buyers on making the best choices for their boutiques and clients and as a social worker, i strive to help my clients make decisions that will help enhance their lives. i have always approached my work with humor, compassion and without judgment.

all of this to say...

i'm starting another phase of my career and hope that you will stick with me. i promise to blog at least 1x/mth. i'm open to suggestions regarding topics, but basically i'll return to my musings about my "quirks" and ways i've found to make them manageable. i'm also working on a website which will have information regarding the services i will soon be offering.

MLK

2010-01-18T12:13:00.006-05:00

"Almost always, the creative dedicated minority has made the world better." MLK

HNY

2009-12-31T20:34:00.001-05:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

No, I didn't go anywhere...

2009-09-24T20:40:00.000-04:00

but in the meantime...

Reflections

2009-09-14T17:54:00.004-04:00

Last week marked the anniversary of tragic events in the US that took the lives of many people in the NY, PA and DC. I worked across the street from the WTC and have a very unique memory of this day, as do all of the people who lost family and friends, watched it on TV or heard about it later.

For the past 8 years, whenever this day comes around I have the same reactions of a little sadness and mourning for the victims, but this year it got me thinking about the way we deal with anniversaries. Do we hold them dear or is it just another day? I try to do something special on the anniversary of my mother's death every year as a tribute to her (see a movie she liked, attempt to make something she would cook), but I don't necessarily jump up and down for the anniversary of getting a year older. I have a friend who worked near me in lower Manhattan and in fact fled that area with me in 2001 and even though we're in contact all the time, I find that on 9/11 I feel the urge to talk to her, not to reminisce about the day, I just want to say "hi". I don't know if she feels the same but it just comforts me to know that after all this time, the person that I walked through lower Manhattan with during this tragedy is still in my life. I guess I have found comfort in this shared experience, even though we never discuss it.

Anniversaries help up us commemorate events that have left an impact on us. Whether its a good memory like a wedding (which, in some cases, might be your traumatic event!) birthdays, or one surrounding traumatic events, its important to honor this time. Here are a few ideas...

http://www.askmen.com/dating/heidi_100/149_dating_girl.html

http://www.ehow.com/how_1694_celebrate-wedding-anniversary.html

So, here are a few things to think about...

1) Do you find dealing with positive/negative anniversaries annoying? Therapeutic? Time consuming?
2) Do you have rituals?
3) Do you and your partner agree or disagree on how to spend this time?
4) Do you feel like you're forced by society to celebrate birthdays/wedding anniversaries/deaths etc.?

9-11-01

2009-09-11T10:49:00.000-04:00

Remembering those who made their transiton on this day.

Taking a second to be sappy....

2009-09-07T23:05:00.001-04:00

i can no other answer make, but, thanks, and thanks.

~william shakespeare

thank you barri (for the idea) blonka (for the push), and elaine (for the help)!

The art of procrastination

2009-09-07T22:52:00.007-04:00

I'm a morning person…on Saturdays and Sundays. Mondays through Fridays are a different animal altogether. On the weekends I will have already had a shower and breakfast, all before 7am. And on those weekends when I decide I’m going to work out, I’ll make with the exercising and will be out of the house by 8am to do my running around, feeling great about all that I’ve accomplished in those two glorious days I have off.

Now...cut to Monday morning. Alarm goes off at 6:15am and I snooze that sucker 4 times before I can roll out of bed (I have to be at work by 8am). I suddenly have several things I need to do in the short time I've left myself between getting up and getting to work such as starting a load of laundry, washing dishes, taking the nail polish off my toes, organizing my underwear drawer and watching that ever important episode of "Saved by the Bell". Welcome to my work week!

My weekends seem to be stellar but if you haven’t noticed, I struggle on so many levels to get myself together during the week. I, folks, am a procrastinator. While I try not to do it in a way that is detrimental to my quality of life (I pay my bills on time and am never late for work), I do find that I like to push the envelope a bit during the work week.

I don't come from a family of procrastinators either. It’s quite the opposite, actually. But somehow the expedite gene skipped over me and instead was replaced with torpor. I'm the last person in my family to buy a house or to make holiday arrangements which results in many phone calls and emails about my plans. But it doesn't stop there...

My rap sheet of procrastination runs a mile long. In college, I wrote my papers the weekend before they were due, I wait for the last minute to renew registrations and licenses and I will wait until the only thing left in my house to eat is the pudding I bought months ago that I forgot about before I go grocery shopping. I'm not proud of this. It’s just the way I've lived my life up to now. However, if there is a movie or concert or show I want to see, you best believe I'm online getting the first ticket to the first show. I've realized that, like most people, my pattern is to prioritize preferred activities over everything else.

I know this is not a particularly healthy way to live, but I've made adjustments. I set my alarm very early so that I can snooze exactly 4 times. My wardrobe is mostly black so I have little issue with finding something suitable for work and I keep breakfast bars at work and home so I will always have something to eat. I know exactly how long it takes to get to work by public transportation and if I play my cards right, I get to work by 8am every morning without having to sacrifice my morning walk of 1 mile to the train station. In pulling together this entire production called my life I have realized that a lot of work goes into avoiding something I'm eventually going to do anyway.

Procrastination is a way of putting off unpleasant tasks. At one time or another we've all done it, consciously or unconsciously. For some it’s never been more than a slight inconvenience, but for others it impacts their jobs, relationships and quality of life. If you feel like this maladaptive behavior is having a negative effect on your life, you're not alone and there are many resources available to you.

Here are a few articles I've read on the subject...

http://www.unc.edu/depts/wcweb/handouts/procrastination.html

http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200308/procrastination-ten-things-knowpsychologytoday.com/articles/200308/procrastination-ten-things-know

Have a good weekend!

2009-09-04T10:23:00.001-04:00

UGH!

2009-08-30T20:15:00.011-04:00

Frustration-a feeling of dissatisfaction, often accompanied by anxiety or depression, resulting from unfulfilled needs or unresolved problems.-Dictionary.com

UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is is what I say when i'm highly frustrated. It's usually followed by a dramatic sigh, many expletives, eye rolling and if something is within close range, it might get thrown against the wall. Case in point, I just sat down to write my blog entry for this week. During the editing phase, my computer decides to cut off and even though I saved it many times, the last edit which was perfectly worded was GONE! My initial reaction was to bang my computer against my desk because I guess I must have read somewhere that helps recover files. Then, I took some deep breathes and used the "stop/think/react" intervention I used to use with the kids I worked with when they were about to overreact. After that intervention failed, I decided the only thing to do was to take the whole thing and throw it on the floor. Alright, I didn't do that, but it was really high on my "what to do next" list.

The fact of the matter is, at times, I have difficulty managing my frustration. Even though my career is based on helping people utilize appropriate coping skills, I'm sure if I were to be put in my clients position, some Social Worker would say some of my interventions are inappropriate. I think its human to react in certain ways to upsetting events. Dealing with frustration usually becomes an issue when you let your emotions dictate behaviors that are harmful to yourself or others. I'm all for a good freak out, but only when done responsibly. In the privacy of my own home and only for a short period of time. After that its time to work on resolving the issue.

Some of the things I've found helpful are:

1. Removing myself from the situation. Just walk away! This gives me time to think of a solution as well as put the situation into perspective.

2. Think about what went right in the situation, or look on the "bright side", even though you might not think there is one, there usually is.
3. Promise to "come back". There are times when I've had projects that didn't go the way I wanted them to and I've walked away, only to look up months later to find they're still not completed. Walk away with the intention of returning to resolve the issue.
4. Those good old deep breathing exercising everyone is so fond of suggesting.

These things work for me, and I do allow myself a little "acting out" time too, but with certain restrictions.

We're faced with situations daily that are stressful and frustrating. If you feel that they are just too huge for you to handle on your own, reach out to someone you trust for help. If that doesn't work for you, check with your employer about employee assistance programs or research supports on your own.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MJ!

2009-08-29T23:45:00.002-04:00

Rest in Peace SEN. KENNEDY 1932-2009

2009-08-26T10:08:00.002-04:00

You know what George says...you gotta have faith, faith, faith....

2009-08-22T19:26:00.000-04:00

Once upon a time, I had a very important exam to complete. I didn't take it the 1st year I wanted to, nor the 2nd or 3rd. Its not like it was difficult, I knew the material inside and out, I just kept putting it off. By the 4th year, I was OVER it. In my mind, I should have done this many, many years ago. As time went by, I doubted my ability to complete this exam satisfactorily. Ultimately, I decided not to take it.

So, fast forward to this year, I decided to do it, but by now, I didn’t have faith that I knew any of the material I needed to know. Now, I ooze confidence in many areas, but for some reason, this had me stuck. I really just wanted to take it to say I did (anyone familiar with this obscure confidence building technique?) For months I “studied”, taking my study material everywhere I went so people could see me with it. I "kind of" looked at it when I had the chance(between my very busy schedule of hanging out in NY, watching TV, shopping, going out to eat and Facebook). I wasn’t preparing to pass the exam, only to take it and “get it over with”. I didn’t have the confidence I needed, and was not determined to pass.

Time went on in this fashion, until one day I gave myself a talking to. "Why waste all your going out time faux studying when you're even studying to pass?" I told myself. I really gave it to myself, there was a lot of arguing back and forth, screaming, bargaining and crying. It was very intense. But by the time I was done, "Id" me and "Super Ego" me were yelling, "GO HARD OR GO HOME!!!!!!!" in unison! Finally, I was ready buckle down and really get myself together. I was silent with my determination because everything I was doing before was for show. I wrote encouraging notes to myself, I set aside actual time to study( something new for me as my college study habits were lackluster at best)and put the idea in my mind that it was time to succeed. Once I focused, I was ready to accomplish the goal I had given up all those years ago.

Having confidence in yourself and believing in yourself can be(at least for me)easy in theory, much more difficult in practice. Now, I’m just talking about an exam (which I aced, btw!), but think about anything that stands in your way, preventing you from accomplishing goals. When you’re not confident in your abilities or standing in your own way, the only one that's gonna get you out of that state of mind is YOU!!! Find things that help and encourage you. For me it was scheduling study hours and sticking to it, no matter what, erasing negative thoughts when they popped up and saying some positive things about and to myself which encouraged me to stay focused. For you it will be something different. When it comes to restoring the faith, confidence, Kavorka(any Seinfeld fans?) WHATEVER, in yourself, use whatever works for you and GO GET 'EM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!