bringing up charlie

Let's talk about sex

2013-05-20T11:04:00.002+01:00

Oh dear! The National Association of Headteachers is calling for children as young as five to be taught about porn and we're all getting hot-under-the-collar about sex. Again.

I taught Sex Ed for years - to girls as well as boys - and, it might surprise you to learn, very little of it actually mentioned the word 'sex'. Or talked about 'bits'. Or contained anything about which smutty fourth-formers could giggle or the Daily Mail be outraged.

Because - and I hope this will reassure the many, many parents out there who are (rightly, justifiably, understandably) concerned about what otherwise appears to be rather whacky ideas from the teaching profession - sex education, or Sex and Relationship education as it is correctly called, is only very rarely about biological reproduction and all that that entails.

Indeed, it's the "R' is SRE that is most important. Because good Sex Ed in schools is about teaching children how to recognise, nurture and sustain good relationships of all kinds (platonic none more so for those under the age of 16) to have respect for themselves and other people, not to use anyone as a means to an end but to treat everyone with the respect and dignity they deserve.

Having a good basic sense of self-worth - which can and should be taught to kids as young as five - is central, fundamental and essential to being able to show respect to others. Showing respect to others, once learned, once accepted and once practised and developed in school from the age of five onwards - is far more likely to lead to a healthy attitude to sexual partners (when the times for such arrives) and to the ability to deal with pornography than any explicit lessons on the subject.

And that's what this is all about.

It's depressing to hear so many parents, grandparents and media commentators so muddled about what actually goes on - and what principles underpin - good SRE in schools. And - yes - depressing too that those so-called professional communicators - teachers and headteachers - seem unable to offer the reassurance society needs.

So, here for what it's worth, is my two' pennorth:

You can't just 'leave it to parents' as many parents just don't bother.
You have to equip children with age-approproate information about the world about them. And that includes the adult bits.
And if schools aren't about giving children the skills and attitudes necessary to forge and sustain mutually rewarding, long-lasting and appropriate relationships with other members of the human race then they should be closed down forthwith.

Oh, and one more thing.

If you don't like knowledge, try ignorance.

Win a Belvoir Picnic Hamper!

2013-05-15T10:35:00.001+01:00

I know. It's hardly picnic weather. But it will be soon, surely?

~~Last summer~~ I mean, last weekend we had a lovely picnic at the top of West Keal hill (yes, there are hills in Lincolnshire) with spectacular views over half the county and across to Norfolk. And we had the weather, too. Remember? Sun and warmth and on Bank Holiday Monday. We had some delicious food washed down with a bottle of Belvoir sparkling presse. Lovely.

On the basis that summer must be only just around the corner Belvoir is offering you the chance to win one of their picnic hampers today. In case you don't know, Belvoir makes the most delicious cordials, presses and fruit crushes using 100% natural ingredients (including flowers and fruit from the farm) and all mixed with water from the local spring. Mary Manners began making cordials in her kitchen in the 1970s, infusing elderflowers and pressing the fruit grown on the family farm and the business has gone from strength to strength ever since.

Anyway, if you fancy having a luxury picnic courtesy of Belvoir all you have to do is leave me a quick comment between now and next Wednesday telling me where you'd like to have the picnic. I'll pick one winner at random (I won't judge your choice of venue, honest!) and then it'll be over to you.

Oh, and the great British weather!

Routine

2013-05-14T07:01:00.001+01:00

Today's post is a guest contribution in association with Oral B tackling the tricky subject of routine within a family.

Having routines can be essential for families. Routines enable us to complete chores and can free up more time for having fun. Some sort of routine helps to ensure everybody gets ready in the morning, housework gets done and meals are made at the appropriate times throughout the day.

But there's more to adhering to than practical convenience. Routines are a way of educating your children and allowing them to understand what’s important and why. Something as straightforward as a regular get-together with relatives can become established as a family ritual that helps to build a sense of belonging and familial cohesion.

Although children's individual propensity for routine varies it has been suggested that a certain amount can benefit a child in a variety of ways. Consistency encourages healthy habits in young children. Boring tasks such as brushing teeth can become an automatic response to being in the bathroom as a child reaches for their best toothpaste and brush.

And a predictable home environment can help a child feel safe and secure. Routines often prove to be particularly helpful for children with certain disabilities especially those which result in them finding it difficult to cope with change and feeling insecure in unfamiliar surroundings.

Not only do routines help to develop certain life skills, such as a sense of responsibility or time management, they can also create sacred time for spending with loved ones. A ritual revolving around shared enjoyment, such as reading a book together before bedtime can strengthen family bonds and become an important time of togetherness that helps to build family relationships.

It’s helpful too to bear in mind that routines shouldn’t be set in stone. Children will naturally challenge some rituals or simply outgrow them and family structures can also alter. Flexible family time and being open to adapting existing routines can avoid many unnecessary altercations. Reluctance to relinquish some rituals purely because of parental preference can fracture familial relationships. There’s little point in forcing a family tradition that has long been outgrown by a teenage child. Build stronger bonds instead with compromise and mutual respect.

There are no set rules about what routines you should have. Every family is different and functions in its own unique way. What works well for one family could prove to be too prohibitive for another. So choose your own unique and evolving rituals that work for your particular family unit.

Test post

2013-05-14T06:51:00.001+01:00

Ipsum laurum...

Sunday Supplement

2013-05-12T21:42:00.001+01:00

It's a while since we've posted a Sunday Supplement round-up of the kind of events, reviews and incidents that might not make a full-length post but are certainly worthy of a mention. This week we've been leading the way with a couple of clever new charging leads, learning to count with Lego Duplo, growing our own tomato ketchup (sort of), planning to make all sorts of other stuff, having fun at the fair and opening our own eBay store. (Well, listing a few 'Father's Day' themed objects, anyway!)

So, about those leads. They're not dog leads or any ordinary kind of leads but two, frankly, ingenious little twists on something that we're too all familiar with - charger leads. First, The Snugg Live Wire Flowing light charging cable for the iPhone 5. It looks like this. You can 'see' the electricity flowing from the mains to your phone. It's great. Just don't use it if you charge your phone at night at your bedside!

The drawback with most leads is that they only fit specific devices. So, if you've got lots of different things in need of charging you'll need lots and lots of leads. Or you'll need the Innergie 3-in-1 USB cable with three different attachments built-in, thus potentially eliminating at least two extra wires as well as the distinct possibility of losing the attachments. Very clever.

The long overdue arrival of some warmer weather this week gave us the chance to get out in the garden, and to plant our very own tomato ketchup tree, sent courtesy of Heinz. (Well, tomato seeds anyway.) They're in a lovely little branded pot, watered with a lovely little branded watering can and will - we hope - grow into some lovely little non-branded tomatoes we can enjoy during the summer. If we get one, that is. Watch this space, both for tomatoes and for summer.

You know how easily you can miss the postman when he comes knocking with a parcel? Sometimes you don't even hear him knocking. Sometimes the first time you realise you've been sent a parcel is when that little red card lands on your mat. It helps if the parcel - when you collect it from the sorting office - is something special like this wonderful Lego Duplo counting train. Here it is in action. It's great when you have a big brother on hand to help you...

Finally, that eBay store. Well, I say 'store' - themed listing, more like. And the theme is 'Father's Day'. Not long to go now, you know. So, why not take a look? Being a dad myself, y'see, I know a bit about dad stuff and - being a dad - I'm also a dispenser of pocket money, often in large quantities when it comes to birthdays, anniversaries and things like Father's Day. So I thought, why not lost a few things dads might like - a cut-throat razor, a shaving brush, luxury shaving cream, a smart Automate coat hanger you attach to the back of your car seat to hang your jacket on, that sort of thing. They all start at 99p - so pocket money prices - and they're all new. There's some other stuff on there as well, like a dining room table and chairs but I don't anticipate that being a 'must buy' for Father's Day (although if dad wants one it's a bargain at just £25!). So, happy Father's Day (when it happens). Happy bidding (should you wish to). And Happy Sunday (what's left of it).

Til next time...

Panasonic NB-CT579 Slimline Combination Microwave Review

2013-05-11T09:41:00.001+01:00

There aren't many things I'm sent to try out that I'd seriously part with my own meagre earnings to buy, but this is one of them: the Panasonic NN-CT579 Slimline Combination Microwave. Why? Well, apart from the obvious combination of microwave, grill and convection oven, apart from the 1000 watt power output, 27 litre interior capacity and 34cm diameter rotating turntable the simple truth (and it has to be simple for me, in the kitchen) is this:

The Panasonic NN-CT579S (or 'James' as I'm going to call it) has an amazingly simple, effective and comprehensive range of auto start/cook settings which basically allows you (ok, me - I'm sure you'd read the manual carefully and follow the recipe) to press a button marked 'chicken' (or pizza, or pasta, or fish or veg.) enter the weight, press a button and then pout yourself another glass of wine (other beverages are available).

Look. It's this simple...

Take a chicken. (Add a few other ingredients if you'd like to make it even tastier... I'm going to roughly chop an onion, one lemon and a couple of cloves of garlic and insert them into the, erm... 'cavity')

Turn said chicken upside down. (It cooks 'breast down' for the first two-thirds of its incredibly short time in the miracle microwave). Place in microwave. Press button marked 'chicken'. Enter weight (don't worry - it will prompt you to do this and even ask you whether you'd prefer to do it in lbs and ozs or grams).

Press 'start'. You'll notice that the cooking time seems dangerously short. But fear not.

Here's what the bird looks like when it's finished:

Does that look cooked to you? That's because it IS cooked - wonderful, thoroughly cooked with a lovely, crispy skin (I drizzled a little olive oil on mine, as is my wont, and scattered some mixed herbs). Serve with a little salad and there you have it - a quick, tasty and delicious supper in less than an hour.

But ah, me. The model they loaned has got to go back on Monday and the RRP is £239.99 (gulp!). (Panasonic, incidentally, has not paid me a penny to put down these words in this order - not that I'd ever say anything different about any product I had been paid to write about - I just tell you that to try and gain a little sympathy... )

I've found it cheaper at Argos - £219.99 or, if I can wait for to have it delivered (and stomach supporting a bit of tax dodging) an price-busting (and rather irregular) £156.68 on Amazon.

I know, it's still a lot of money for a microwave.

But I want one.

Look, the kids even watch it in the morning instead of asking for CBeebies!

The BBC Philharmonic: Old Jack's Boat

2013-05-10T15:51:00.001+01:00

I came across this clip on YouTube and - following my post on Staithes and Old Jack's Boat the other week - couldn't resist sharing it. The BBC Philharmonic Orchestra rehearsing and then recording the theme music to this nautical, salty new incarnation of the children's television fifteen minute story slot. In other words, Jackanory. With wet feet. And sea air.

In my callow youth I wrote a letter to the late, great Robert Robinson who'd been rather sniffy (with his Saturday evening 'Stop the Week' chums) about some new Dickens adaptation on TV. My point was valid (he said so himself, in a note back) even if the pomposity of expression wasn't. It was this. Music - so often overlooked, sometimes hardly even noticed - is integral to the success of so many otherwise visual or verbal productions whether as a mood-setting theme or atmosphere-inducing background. Here are the men and women who make it...

Let there be light!

2013-05-08T11:48:00.001+01:00

Now, the third in this short series of video tips posts is all about light - lighting, luminescence, illumination.

As you'll know by now if you've read parts one and two, I'm passionate about iPhone photography and videography. I've analysed the results from a wide range of cameras and those from the iPhone (and mine's a mere 4 - not even a 4S or 5 which are even better) are as good as almost any mid-range equipment and better than many.

But there is one big drawback. And that's the ability to take decent still or video clips in low light conditions. When you think about it, those are often precisely the conditions many family films and photos (birthday parties, special dinners, opening Christmas presents) are taken in so this could be a major drawback for the smartphone filming.

Step forward the Manfrotto KLYP case, which ingeniously allows you to both attach the phone to a tripod and - with the addition of the ML240 LED - add a light, portable (and very effective) external light source to make those indoor movies even better.

Of course, the iPhone does have it's own lighting but it's distinctly underpowered and also has the rather unsettling effect of making people's eyes glow green in the dark. Being an LED array and being adjustable the ML240 acts more like the diffused light you might get in a studio - it significantly reduces shadows in bright light, for example, but will also allow you to film pretty much in the dark, as here. This short sequence (filmed entirely on my iPhone 4) shows first, footage with no additional light then (following the transition) the effect of the iPhone's built-in light and then, finally, with the ML240 turned on:

At the moment the entire kit can be bought for just under £50 from John Lewis ('never knowingly undersold') online. But if you do decide to buy from them beware - when I ordered mine the picture clearly showed that the package also contained the Manfrotto mini tripod. When I contacted John Lewis about the discrepancy between the picture and the product description I was told I would have to 'phone one of their stores and ask for a box to be opened, which I had no intention of doing as my order - and my enquiry - referred to their online operation.

Unfortunately, that wasn't the only issue with my order. Although I'm happy with the case I was clearly sent one that had (albeit briefly) been opened and used by another customer. There were slight marks on the clip fittings and - the real giveaway - the box contained the returns slip from a lady in Edinburgh.

And I've noticed that John Lewis online has now at least taken down the original, misleading photo. Pity they couldn't be bothered to tell me or maybe even thank me for pointing out a serious - if inadvertent - case of misrepresentation on their website.

Never knowing undersold? Maybe now we know why..

The Spalding Flower Parade

2013-05-05T12:57:00.002+01:00

'We love a parade...' (as Auntie Mabel of CBeebies 'Come Outside' fame sang when she took part with her dog Pippin in the 1990s).

Unfortunately, yesterday, we saw the last outing of this particular one: the world-famous Spalding Flower Parade with an unbroken history stretching back to 1959 and origins - in such events as the Spalding Tulip Festival - dating back even earlier to the 1920s. So, almost a century.

But time and tide wait for no man, and not even for a Carnival Queen. The weather - kind on the afternoon of the parade itself - has not helped the people desperate to decorate their floats with tulip petals for one last time this year and the various funding bodies have decided that the cost can no longer be justified. So a small piece of Lincolnshire history came to a colourful end yesterday as the last of the floats paraded through the town and off into the sunset. If you weren't one of the ten or so thousand people there to see it, here's what you missed. And what we will all miss from now on.

Review: Kodak Kiosk Connect App

2013-05-02T14:11:00.001+01:00

Want to know how to get from this...

To this?

The answer lies in a wonderful new app from Kodak called Kodak Kiosk Connect. If you've ever dreamt about being able to walk into a photo shop, turn on your smartphone and wirelessly create all manner of groovy things from greetings cards to posters, collages and photo albums then your dreams have just come true.

I was lucky enough to be asked to try out the service last Saturday and - willing to have a go at anything once (save incest and Morris Dancing) - I was only too happy to agree. And if I tell you that in this case it won't be 'just the once' you'll probably guess that the experience was pretty favourable.

Not only were the staff (at Czimmerl Studio in Lincoln) very helpful, but the technology is so straightforward that anyone can not only use it but do great things with it. The results are certainly impressive.

Basically the app creates a (secure) wireless connection between your phone (or iPad) and the kiosk. This then allows you to upload either a selection of photos or your entire library should you so wish!

You then simply choose what you want to create (greetings card, calendar, collage etc.) and the image(s) you wish to use and, well, that's basically all there is to it. You're given the option of editing, enhancing, trimming the pic and adding text as appropriate and for some options (a large poster, say) there might be a turnaround time of an hour but in many cases your chosen items are ready in little more than a mouse click.

Having tried the app in store (without really any prior knowledge) I was given a free CD with the software (PC only at the moment, unfortunately) which gives you the chance to make and create in the comfort of your own home (and take a little more time, perhaps) and I'll be reporting on this in a further post.

In the meantime, if you like the idea don't forget that at the moment there's a chance to try out the new app and at the same time enter a competition to win one of four brand new iPads. You can find further details here.

The Trees are Coming Into Leaf

2013-04-30T10:28:00.002+01:00

Sometimes being five is the best age to be. I'm not sure if I'd want to be five again but there's something fresh and joyful about the way most five-year-olds look at the world. This morning I was summoned from my station in the kitchen to witness an amazing new discovery:

'Look daddy, look what's happening to the trees!'

What was happening to the trees is what happens to the trees at this time every year. What was happening was as unremarkable and as ordinary as the sun rising in the morning. What was happening was that the leaves had started showing, unfurling and transforming those dead skeletons of wood outside our house into obviously living things again.

But to a five-year-old it was anything but ordinary; I suppose the run rising in the morning, waking him earlier and earlier at this time of year (more on that story later!) is anything but ordinary too. In fact, I suppose it's something of a minor miracle.

The atheists among us have a problem: all this eternal renewal - including the many millions of new humans born each year - doesn't get anyone anywhere. We're all going round in gigantic cosmic circles (or ellipses, I suppose) and the only teleological purpose of it all is extinction.

But you can't deny the utter beauty of 'creation' (including the humanity and its achievements) and it's therefore difficult - if not impossible - to conceive of it as being nothing more than a existential accident. Don't laugh; don't such difficulties keep you awake at night as well? No? Oh well...

It just occurred to me that if there was nothing else to life, no God, no purpose (and I'm not suggesting that there isn't, merely stating it for the sake of argument) then the simple joy of a discovery like new leaves on the trees, the sheer joy all children have (or should have) in discovering new and interesting things about the world around them (tired though they might be to the rest of us) might make it all - the struggles, the worry, the hardships and hassles - worth it. If that was all there is, I think I'd take it. The meaning of life? It's the joy of discovery, the delight in new knowledge and the ability to notice things - simple things, mundane things - and take delight in them and see the vast universe of unknowns as a tremendous, exciting opportunity.

And that's the problem with grown ups, isn't it?

We think we know it all.

Why do we sing?

2013-04-28T08:50:00.004+01:00

Listening to the BBC World Service in the small hours (as is my wont when I'm unable to get back to sleep) I was assisted, abetted or frustrated (depending on your viewpoint) by a fascinating programme on a subject very close indeed to my heart... or should I say lungs. No, both: singing.

I sing. I love singing. I'm blessed (I'm told) with a half-decent voice and I've been lucky enough to sing on numerous radio and TV broadcasts, to make commercial recordings and perform at a range of high profile events from the BBC Proms the the first performance of Paul McCartney's first foray into classical music.

But although I've thought of the voice and vocal technique, read about it, studied and practised it (and am even planning - with Professor Kenneth Park and Marc Murray - to write a book about it) until the other night I'd never really thought about the evolution of it.

Why do we sing? What (if any) advantage does it give us as a species? And how did we acquire this remarkable ability.

Well, thanks this this programme I now know that singing is about attracting a mate, deterring intruders and binding a community together.

Actually I always knew that: I met my wife singing in a choir and first fell for her voice. As for deterring intruders, well... that's what the birdies are doing early in the morning, isn't it? Those lovely, fluting melodies are really 'gerrof my land' expressions of territorial possession (or sometimes, 'you lookin' at my bird?' - literally - examples of musical aggression).

And, on reflection, I've always known about the community aspect of singing too. Singers are healthier, less stressed, less likely to become depressed and a whole host of other things in no small part due to the social aspect of singing in choirs. And even soloists, of course, need an audience.

There's so much to be said (or sung) about singing that I'm going to have to come back to it in another post. For now, to finish, I'm going to share a performance by a singer I admire, attempt (badly) to emulate and would gladly enter a Faustian pact to have the voice of but who above all sums up why I sing and why I'm so passionate about singing. Some people love the purr of expensive petrol engines; some take pleasure in the roar of a mighty steam loco. This man's voice is both, as gentle as dove but with the power to break the sound barrier should he need to:

Win an iPad in the Kodak Moment Photo Competition

2013-04-25T15:39:00.000+01:00

I've always had a lot of time for Kodak products. A few years ago I was invited - by a 'leading competitor' - to run a like-for-like trial between a new state-of-the-art wireless printer (from the 'leading competitor's' stable and a Kodak ESP 7250 with the promise that, at the end of the trial, I could keep the one I liked the best. I kept the Kodak. The other company wasn't pleased.

Now I've been asked to try something new and exciting - namely the Kodak Kiosk printing app - a free app you can download and then use to get creative and print greetings cards, calendars etc. direct from your phone or iPad while in the kiosk. I'll be able to tell you more about it when I've given it a try.

In the meantime, they're giving away not one but five iPads in their exciting Kodak Moment Photo competition so if you want to have a go, here are the details...

Cry God for Harry, England...

2013-04-23T08:25:00.001+01:00

... and St George!

It's St George's Day today. Personally I don't think it matters that 'Saint' George - or plain old 'George' as he might be now - wasn't an English knight (if he was a knight at all) but probably came from Palestine. The current resurgence of interest in English national identity conveniently forgets that it was ever thus: we're a mongrel race and much the better for it; even the one untarnished jewel in our crown - the English language - is a wonderful hybrid of many different tongues, making it one of the richest languages ever to have existed.

In fact, I think we should celebrate St George precisely because he's not English. In doing so we're celebrating what really has made our nation great - an acceptance of everyone, a spirit of embracing the new, the different, whether that's in terms of peoples, ideas or of words.

Of course, today is also - splendidly, serendipitously and appropriately - the birthday of William Shakespeare (or St William, as he ought to be known for working such miracles with the English language). So here, in honour of both men is... no, not Henry V's rabble rousing speech at Agincourt - but this gem from the less-well-known (but wonderfully poetic) Richard II, spoken in Act 2 (Scene 1) by the dying hero, John of Gaunt...

This royal throne of kings, this sceptred isle,
This earth of majesty, this seat of Mars,
This other Eden, demi-paradise,
This fortress built by Nature for herself
Against infection and the hand of war,
This happy breed of men, this little world,
This precious stone set in the silver sea,
Which serves it in the office of a wall
Or as a moat defensive to a house,
Against the envy of less happier lands,--
This blessed plot, this earth, this realm, this England.

Win a custom iPhone Case!

2013-04-19T14:26:00.003+01:00

Or Samsung Galaxy S3 case if you'd prefer.

Yes. Cases. I've been trialling a number of cases recently, including the very hi-tech Pong one I told you about last week and this really lovely luxury leather iPad case which comes courtesy of Maroo:

As off-the-peg cases go, this is about as good as they get. But what if you want to customise your case? Well, with CaseApp you can. Upload a favourite image, rotate it, scale it, crop it, add text or even multiple images - in fact, be as creative as you like - and you can be the owner of an iPhone or Samsung S3 case like no-one else's.

Personally, I'm rather fancying an 'Old Jack's Boat' case (see previous post) or maybe something blog-related. It's fun having a play. And for one lucky reader, there'll be no need to pay either because the nice people at CaseApp have a code for a free case!

So take a look, get creating and then leave a comment below saying you'd like to win and I'll select someone by next Wednesday. It's that easy.

Case dismissed!

Old Jack's Boat

2013-04-16T08:27:00.001+01:00

Since mentioning my holiday last week I've been overwhelmed by at least three expressions of mild interest in the holiday snaps, so here they are.

We went to Staithes. Lovely place. I've been there before. (Jen 'Mum in the Madhouse's mum was born there would you believe? Small world...)

Anyway, it's famous now as the location for this lovely CBeebies series...

As something of a reactionary when it comes to children's telly I've surprised myself by falling in love with this charming, beguiling and utterly captivating programme. I notice it's pedigree: created by the two of the channel's royalty in Chris Jarvis (no introduction necessary) and Pui Fan Lee (incidentally, did you know that Pui was once a Tellytubby?) and written (at least two episodes) by Russell T 'Doctor Who' Davies.

For those who don't know, Old Jack's Boat stars Bernard Cribbins as the eponymous Jack, whose old boat - The Rainbow - is the setting (both physically and creatively) for a series of tall tales of past voyages and adventures on the high seas. Unfortunately The Rainbow ('what 'ave you got for us today old girl?') wasn't at berth in the harbour when we visited (grown-ups: yes I know it's only an animation) so here's a picture Charlie drew of it instead:

The pretty little North Yorkshire fishing village of Staithes, just north of Whitby (you've heard of Whitby - Dracula, a seventh-century Synod and some of the finest fish-n-chips you'l ever taste) is the setting for the series and is peopled by a cast of colourful characters who add an entertaining sub-plot to each story. Emily sells ice-cream; Shelly (played by former Doctor Who girl Freema Agyeman) runs the cafe and Ernie (real-life owner of Scuzz who play's 'Salty', Jack's dog) is the local fisherman.

As far as I know Staithes really is peopled by such wonderful characters. The people we met were certainly friendly. But then, they always are in Yorkshire. They didn't even mind Charlie sitting on the bench in front of Old Jack's cottage (which you can hire as a holiday let, you know):

We had a lovely time looking round because Staithes is such a lovely place. It didn't matter that there wasn't much of 'Old Jack's Boat' to see because part of the programme's magic comes from this special little location tucked away in the cliffs between Redcar and Whitby.

'Well' as Jack says, 'that's it for today. But we'll see all our friends again next time, won't we Salty? And we'll see you again too. Goodbye!'

This week we have been mostly playing...

2013-04-13T11:00:00.000+01:00

...LEGO City: Undercover:

This new game for the Nintendo Wii U has been keeping us - *ahem*, Charlie - amused while the weather has been miserable and you can hear from the laughter how much he's been enjoying it. And you can hear from my cries of agony (there aren't any) how much I'm enjoying not stepping on sharp-cornered plastic bricks during this particular phase of LEGO play. But don't despair - the creativity is all still there not least in the multitude of LEGO objects to be built - on screen - as part of the game. But they don't hurt your feet when they're on the telly:

...with boxes:

Yes, cardboard boxes. In complete contrast to the high tech, remote controlled, computer animated action of the above we have been making things out of all sorts of old boxes and some that were supplied especially for the purpose by Fellowes, namely their Bankers Box ('Together we can build anything...') including a rather splendid cardboard wendy house which has provided hours of fun. This is what it should have looked like...

We have been mostly eating...

...this, courtesy of the new Chesil Smokery ('the hottest little smokery in the West').

And at the moment they've offering your first box for just £10 ('delivered, chilled, by 24-hour courier') - amazing value and you can mix-and-match all you like.

In other news I've been testing out a smart new iPhone case (or rather, not being an iPhone5 owner, it's been tested by my father. Yes, he has an iPhone5. Yes, I am jealous). It comes from Pong Research (no, I'm not joking) and - in addition to being a rather smart case - it claims both the reduce radiation exposure and boost mobile phone reception. Not having the qualifications or equipment to test the former (read what it says about how it works on Pong's website) we've taken that as read but in field tests we haven't been able to find any significant difference in signal strength with or without the case.

This is with the case on:

And this is with it off:

Still, it really is a very nice case. And that's not the last you'll be hearing about cases, as - next week - I'll be offering one lucky reader the chance to create a customised iPhone (or Samsung) case of their own. Watch this space!

Guess who's coming to dinner?

2013-04-11T22:51:00.004+01:00

A great game to play at dinner parties with friends and family is to imagine who you would invite to your dream dinner.

Assuming that you’re not going to cause any offence by implying that the current roster of guests wouldn’t be invited, that is. Take it in turns to go round the table and ask each person who they would have as their ideal guests for a dinner party. Each guest gets to choose five other people, either living or dead whom they would invite (they can even be fictional if you like - it's your party and your game).

Just as a person's friends reveal a lot about their character, you can learn a lot about someone from the people they would choose to have sitting round their dining table. What, for instance, would you make of someone who invited Napoleon, say, or Winston Churchill? Interest in history, perhaps? Or politics? It might be safer to assume that someone who invited Michael Schumacher or Sterling Moss to dinner would be rather keen on motor sport. And any male guests inviting Brigitte Bardot or Kate Moss are really dreaming.

Who would you have at your dinner party? Sharing a meal is something humans across all cultures have in common. And the inexorable rise of the TV dinner doesn't seem - yet - to have dented sales of dining room tables. The food, clearly, is the main draw. But so is the company. But the fact that - no matter how you know someone, whether from work or a sports club, choir, or - sitting down to dinner together gives you a chance to really bond and find out what makes people tick. That’s why the dream dinner party game works so well. It's an ideal opportunity to sit down with people you find fascinating and find out more about them.

Of course it’s only a bit of fun - but think about what you want to know about your dream guests and then apply the same logic to your current guests and your dinner party can enter a whole new dimension.

This is a guest post from Sainsbury’s. Thanks to a great range of tables from Sainsbury’s you can always have a great setting for your dinner party, whether it’s a fantasy party or just with regular friends.

Why readers need self-published authors

2013-04-08T11:47:00.002+01:00

We're back! (And, yes we did, thank you - lovely! Want to see the pictures? Ok then, maybe later...)

In my absence I was fortunate to have two splendid guest-blogs by a couple of first-rate bloggers and authors who have one thing (apart from first-class writing) in common - they've both self-published their work, and very successfully too.

Despite being introduced at last year's Brit Mums conference as an 'expert' (ex-pert, that's for certain!) on self publishing I haven't actually had that much experience. I've only self-published one of my own books, and that was because I was keen to utilise the get-out clause in a contract with a 'traditional' publisher who - as far as I could tell - was doing nothing much yet still taking 90% of the net proceeds of my sales.

But there's more to self-publishing than simply doing the job (better) yourself. I'm passionate about the whole process, proud to have helped others do it (via my own Dotterel Press imprint) and persuaded by the amazing success-stories of many indie authors (as well as the fact that many established authors are trying it) that self-publishing is here to stay and might even become the new model for the industry.

And that might be a good thing for readers, too.

Because creative industries everywhere - from publishing to television and film-making - are crippled by the influence of the dreaded 'feedback loop'.

The idea that big publishing is built on sales isn't new. But the money-driven principle that because we've liked something in the past we'll enjoy it in the future is stifling creativity. Big publishers are the supermarkets of the book world, telling us (as readers) what we like and what we don't and what we can and can't consume. Driven by sales, the big beasts want to re-create the past. But things are changing, and not just in the world of book-producing.

All over the country farmers markets, niche outlets and specialist online retailers are putting the consumer back in touch with the producer. The success of London's Borough Market was built on the principle that the big supermarkets don't always know what the customer wants - and haven't the time or the inclination to broaden our horizons.

But shoppers - and readers - soon become bored; the familiar becomes stale and sales stall. Publishing houses fold, or merge. But - like the banks before them - lessons are not always learnt. Authors are mere 'brands' (or cash cows) and must slavishly stick the the formula for success as laid down by publisher. Heaven forfend if they suggest writing something new, original, exciting. Editors must have been weeping into their Lattes when J.K. Rowling announced there would be no more Harry Potter. And yet how hard it had been for her to break through with the new idea in the first place. Now, Harry Potter would probably have become an internet sensation. (Canny Ms Rowling has retained the rights to eBooks and, guess what, is publishing them herself!) Back then the first Harry Potter was a dog-eared pile of paper being hawked with increasing desperation round traditional publishers unwilling to touch it (if they could be bothered even to read it) because it wasn't what was making money at the time. Ergo it wasn't what they - the publishers, the editors - thought readers wanted.

How wrong they were...

So, thanks again to Ben and Mark for guest-posting and congratulations on their respective publishing success. In a very real sense they are the pioneers of a new and exciting template for writing and publishing - one that puts readers directly in touch with authors and raises the bar on creativity and innovation.

Long may it continue.

Guest blogger Mark Richards

2013-04-05T14:21:00.001+01:00

Today's guest blogger is writer and blogger Mark Richards. His chosen specialist subject is 'Why Character Matters' and he writes...

A fine, manly title for a blog. And my apologies if you thought it might be written by your old headmaster…

But I’m in academic mode. Let’s talk about text-books for a while: the ones you bought when you were about six months pregnant. How to be a Dashed Fine Parent or whatever it was called. (And didn’t us Dads breathe a sigh of relief when we read the chapter on Sore, Cracked and Bleeding Nipples… Got off lightly there, lads.)

If you were still reading somewhere close to the end of the book – if the sleepless nights hadn’t got to you by then – you might have come across a paragraph or two on the character of your children.

It’s important whatever you do not to characterise your children. Labelling your children ‘The Clever One’ and ‘The Naughty One’ can harm their development and give them a negative self-image. Plus it can intensify sibling rivalry.

All jolly good stuff, and absolutely right.

Unless you happen to be writing about your children…

Because for bloggers, I think the opposite might be true.

Let me introduce you to my children, as they feature in my blog at Best Dad I Can Be:

• The nerdy/geeky nine-brains-but-can’t-tidy-his-bedroom one
• The sassy, opinionated, far-too-sexually-aware typical teenage girl one
• And the sensitive, understanding, teenager-you-can-talk-to one

I think it’s the same whether you’re writing a series of books, establishing a brand or blogging about your children. If you want people to come back to you, there has to be a simple and consistent message – and strong, clear, identifiable characters are part of that. Why is the Dragon Tattoo trilogy so successful? In large part because Lisbeth Salander is such a compelling character – but not perfect, by any means.

If anyone wants to discuss this with me, I’m always happy to talk about blogging and you can reach me either via my blog or through Tim.

PS This blog was written by the slightly overweight, going grey, useless-at-DIY and watches-too-much-football one…

Self-publishing: a quick guide

2013-04-02T10:21:00.002+01:00

Today's guest-post is by author, blogger, and man-about-town Ben Wakeling. I've followed Ben's progress closely - not least because his (self) published books have often outsold my traditionally-published titles. The truth is, self-publishing works if you're prepared to do the hard work; traditional publishing works if the publisher is prepared to do some work. But not all of them do, or are able (or willing) to.

While 'getting published' (in the sense of sending of a manuscript, having it read, edited and launched on the reading public by a traditional publisher) is in many ways harder than ever, it's never been easier to 'get published'. And, like them or loathe them, Amazon - whether through the e-reader or through their physical listings - level the playing field between the big beasts of the book world and us small fry. Not that Ben is small in any way. He writes...

It is an understatement to say that the marketplace is full to bursting with authors at the moment. Literary agencies receive hundreds of submissions every week, and only take on two or three new clients every year. For many, the dream of seeing their book in print seems at risk of remaining just that: a dream.

Which is why many authors (both new and previously published) are moving towards self-publishing as a way to see their work in black and white. Depending on the self-publishing route taken, it can cost thousands of pounds or nothing at all.

The manuscript for my first book, ‘Goodbye, Pert Breasts’, was send to a long list of literary agents, and in return I received a sizeable stack of rejection letters. When you’re ankle-deep in letters saying the equivalent of ‘thanks but no thanks’, you tend to become demoralised, and so I turned to self-publishing. I never harboured visions of being an international best-selling author, and so the decision to self-publish was – for me – an obvious one; especially when I discovered Lulu, one of a number of self-publishing organisations which are completely free (being a print-on-demand publisher, they just take their cut of every copy sold). Creating the book was easy, once formatted to fit the dimensions of the final product: and, within minutes, it was listed on the Lulu website.

There are distribution packages which can be purchased from Lulu, beginning at around $75; but, as standard, your book appears on Amazon, and I wasn’t after much more than that. They provide you with an ISBN for free; and, if you need extra help with formatting, or cover design, services are available at a cost.

And so, within minutes, I had become a ‘published’ author. I have put ‘published’ in inverted commas because, to be honest, self-publishing feels like running an egg and spoon race with the egg glued down: you still feel a sense of satisfaction when crossing the finish line, but it is tempered by the knowledge that you haven’t gone down the traditional route.

In fact, self-published books are the bane of every literary agent’s life: the nature of self-publishing means that anything can enter the market without a need for proof-reading or proper cover design. As a result, there are a number of self-published books out there riddled with poor grammar, incorrect spelling, factual errors, and a general poor quality of writing. But let’s not tarnish every author with the same brush: by the same token, there are a number of self-published books on the market that are of the highest quality, the author only forced to self-publish because of the reluctance of agents to take on new clients. Indeed, many authors have landed themselves an agent and a book deal off the back of self-published material.

But there’s the other side of the coin. If you self-publish, you are not only an author: you are a marketer, proof-reader, cover designer, and much more. There is an argument that authors publishing in the traditional way have many of these things done for them: the publisher will appoint a proof-reader to correct any mistakes, a graphic designer to create an attractive cover, and a PR company to boost publicity. As a self-published author, you have to put in the time, effort (and sometimes money) required to carry out all of these functions yourself. You can hire external help, but at a cost – something which not everyone has the luxury to afford.

It’s a struggle, but getting your book noticed through your own hard work can be done. Social media can work wonders for getting the word out; in addition, there’s local news outlets, forums, and various other channels through which you can publicise your work. Many self-published authors organise book signings in their local town or village; something which I’ve not yet worked up the courage to do.

It is also possible – and very straightforward – to publish your book on the Kindle through Amazon. This is a wise move: I have sold ten times as many ebooks than paperbacks, and the royalties are much greater. The revenue from the sale of a paperback book is pence, once everybody has taken their cut; with Amazon Kindle Publishing, you can receive 70% of the sale price straight into your wallet.

Kindle Publishing also allows you to give your book away for free, for five days in every three months. Whilst not generating any revenue, of course, it is a great way of getting your book into people’s hands. After that, it’s a case of trusting that word of mouth will generate additional sales once the free offer expires. For example: earlier this year I listed ‘Goodbye, Pert Breasts’ and ‘Teething Pains’ for free for five days. They were downloaded a total of 7000 times, and on the back of that I sold nearly 300 copies the next week alone, with both books reaching Number 1 on Amazon’s Top 100 books on Fatherhood. Both books now make regular appearances in the Top 100; something which I attribute largely to the free giveaway.

And so, whilst self-publishing might not be ideal for everybody, it’s a great way of seeing your book in print, and selling a few copies to boot. As long as the content is sound, professional and free from errors, it will do you no harm. My final tip: believe in yourself, and your work, one hundred percent. If you do that, and people can see your enthusiasm for your work, you won’t go far wrong.

Oh! Dr Beeching...

2013-03-27T10:25:00.001Z

It's fifty years since the infamous Beeching report began the inexorable decline of branch lines up and down the country. In an attempt to save money and improve rail travel we lost some of the loveliest railway lines in the land, as well as some of the most romantic names: Tumby Woodside, Windmill End, Blandford Forum, Corfe Castle, Adlestrop, Chorlton-cum-Hardy, Midsomer Norton.

I've a soft spot for pre-Beeching branch lines having written my first-ever paid piece of writing - aged 12 - about a model railway I'd created. It appeared in the Railway Modeller magazine in 1980 and I was paid the princely sum of £12 for seeing my name - my words, and photos of my train set - in print.

Ah, model railways. It's about the only thing Rod Stewart and I have got in common. (Well, we both sing but one of us makes an awful ~~noise~~ lot more money than the other, but no matter.) Here's a song I often sing (unless the public pay up) about those long lost lines, and it's a cracker of nostalgia for the railways of yesteryear.

Personally, I've always felt there's more to running things like railways than merely making money and it's interesting that a goodly number of the lines Beeching axed have been re-opened either as heritage or commuter routes. Even some of the stations mentioned in this song have been spared or else re-opened. But let's not allow mere truth get in the way of a good story.

Here's The Slow Train by Michael Flanders and Donald Swann and sung - not by me, nor Rod Stewart (I'd like to hear him try!) but by them...

Hosanna!

2013-03-25T11:04:00.001Z

... to the son of David. (That's me by the way - my dad's called David.)

And yesterday (in case you didn't know) was Palm Sunday, when churches everywhere commemorate Christ's triumphant entry into Jerusalem.

There's another reason to sing Hosanna this year, and that's the fact that there's now just a week to go before the season of Lent ends and - with it - my rather poor attempt to give up alcohol for forty days. You can read how it started here. What I haven't told you is how the wagon wasn't so much fallen off as spectacularly crashed mid-season, only to be re-mounted with the aid of a rather nasty week-long sickness bug.

I've ha no excuses. I've been helped both by Sorelle who sent some rather pleasant low alcohol wine and by a case of Welch's excellent grape juice which now comes in three new varieties - Rosé Grape Light, Purple Grape Light and White Grape & Raspberry. They're all surprisingly refreshing, very tasty and have the added bonus of making you feel doubly virtuous as a glass of Welch’s counts towards one of your five a day.

You can either drink them neat (as I've been doing) or use them as a mixer. They're delicious over ice, mixed with sparkling water or simply straight out of the fridge and there are plenty of fun mocktail recipes on the Welch's Facebook page.

But don't take my word for it. Try some yourself. I've got a mixed case to give away to one lucky reader over on Twitter and the competition is running all week. All you have to do is find my Welch's tweet, give it a re-tweet and you'll be in it to win it. And while you're there, why not keep up to date with the latest Welch’s product information, recipe ideas and tips for keeping healthy by following @Welchs_UK?

Cheers!

In the Shade of the Mulberry Tree

2013-03-22T10:07:00.003Z

That's the title of a remarkable new book by blogger, author, and Yorkshire County Cricket Club supporter Catharine Withenay. We often exchange tweets about the state of our dear old 'summer' game, but recent Twitter exchanges have instead focussed on her debut publication, a compelling memoir of time spent in Zambia.

In the Shade of the Mulberry Tree is a winner (I've already started reading it in preference to the tottering Shard of unread books by my bed) so instead of talking about the contents I've invited Catharine to talk this morning about her journey into publishing. She writes..

My family moved to Zambia because of my husband’s medical research; the reason for returning to the UK in 2007 was his career. Finding myself in a new city, knowing no-one, I had lots of time on my hands and writing about our Zambian experiences became essential to retain my sanity. My youngest had just started school and I had all day to myself to write. There was so much to say - losing passports, meeting Mutende, adjusting to the pace of life, getting my hair cut, travelling around the country, The Bishop and The Professor.

Within two years we had moved on again. So had the book: from a dodgy first draft to endless efforts at editing. And some attempts at acquiring an agent, with no success. It is hard to know if a book is worth publishing. One often repeated piece of advice is that you must ignore all the compliments from your friends and family and writing group because they are just being nice. That’s tough, because they are also your main support group and the people who will get you through the tricky days ahead.

Time ticked on. Last November I set myself the NaNoWriMo challenge to write 50,000 words in 30 days. I knew I had more than one book in me about Zambia and I was determined to get it down on paper (well, into the computer’s memory at least!) I failed the challenge, but somewhere in the midst of it I decided that enough was enough: I knew my writing was good enough and I had to self-publish the book I’d written.

Editing, proofreading and book cover design cost me money - quite a lot of it! But nobody wants to read something that has been flung together on a wet afternoon in Grimsby. [Not that there's owt wrong wi' Grimsby - Ed.] With all this in place, I had finally come to the first of my deadlines for publishing. I investigated various printing options. One publisher quoted me for printing 150 books, and I realised that I would have to sell 148 of them in order just to break even! As I suspected that I would give more than two away (my father, my husband, my children - just for starters!) this seemed a false start.

My second route was Print on Demand. This scheme means that every paperback bought is printed to order: there are no spare copies lying around gathering dust in a storage facility. Again, I looked into various options but CreateSpace came out best because of its connection to Amazon (where millions of books are bought) and the pricing. By formatting and uploading it myself the only costs I incurred were to purchase proof copies, in the region of $10-20 each including postage from the US.

I did have qualms about using Amazon, particularly as their stinginess in paying UK tax had just surfaced in the news, but the process was straightforward. Having logged in, they list of series of questions and tick boxes (e.g. Book Title, Author name, sizing, paper colour) and provided me with an ISBN number for free. I downloaded their template, copied and pasted my manuscript, and set to work. I am an accountant by profession and (yes, this does make me sad) I found the logic and discipline of setting out page numbers and section breaks, and the correct fonts and headings, remarkably therapeutic. (Well, motivated by tea and the promise of a cookie every few chapters, I was in my element!)Other PoD suppliers had additional costs for providing these services and I decided that was money I could save quite happily.

All authors want to hold their book in their hands... but that is not the only route. Indeed, it isn’t even likely to be the most profitable route, despite my efforts to save money. The main sales are likely to be in ebooks. Preparing that document for uploading was another
kettle of fish entirely! The lead time is a lot less (once finished it is online within 12-24 hours) but the tedium of formatting for Kindle and other devices involved a lot more chocolate. Publishing books is clearly not going to be good for my weight loss campaign!

Having set all that in place, the only thing left to do was to market the book. I wrote a blog post Being a butterfly doesn’t come naturally in which I expressed how this side of publishing a book is not up my street. Some people are natural social animals and self-promoters: I’m not. It may be made worse in that the book is about me, so it is as if I am saying to everyone, “Hey! Spend your money to read about me and my exciting life!” Which I am saying, but it feels uncomfortable. (And it was exciting. And terrifying. And confusing. And fun. Just in case you would like to go and buy the book!)

Has it all been worth it? Yes! I still stare at the books in wonder that I actually created such a beautiful object. My friends are enjoying reading it, and my children will have it as a lasting record of their early years. Is it going to make me a multi-millionaire? I doubt it. I shall probably break even, perhaps enough to buy myself a treat. But I have enjoyed the process and I’m proud of the end result.

Would I do it again? I have nearly 50,000 words from last November to edit and rewrite: of course I would do it again!

In the Shade of the Mulberry Tree is available on Amazon in both paperback and Kindle editions and is highly recommended.

Win a Little Punk London Stick-and-Play t-shirt

2013-03-19T13:36:00.003Z

A couple of weeks ago this arrived in my inbox:

Thanks to daily school-run duties I rarely manage term-time trips to London these days, but I was keen to support the event, not least because Little Punk London very kindly sent Charlie a Christmas present last year. Here's a picture of him wearing it:

I know what you're thinking. Nice. But... well, seasonal. How much wear will he get out of it? Will it still fit him next year?

Well, with Little Punk London ('the first and only children's stick on and play designer t-shirts... hours of fun, beautiful to wear' as they themselves put it) such things don't matter. Because once Christmas was over Charlie was able merely to peel off the velcro decorations and create an entirely new look! Something he can do again and again.

And so can you. Because to celebrate the launch of their brand-new range Little Punk London is offering one lucky Bringing up Charlie reader a fun item of clothing from their collection. All you have to do to win a groovy stick-and-play alphabet t-shirt is enter below and the winner will be chosen by this time next week (i.e. Tuesday 26th March).

So go ahead (little) punk!

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