bringing up charlie

Kids and illness: how sick must they be to miss school?

2012-02-16T08:00:00.000Z

Today's post is by Jo Middleton is an award-winning blogger, mum of two daughters, freelance writer and marketing consultant. She lives in Bristol and loves sharing stories of family life, dating disasters and random musings on her blog, Slummy single mummy. Today, she's writing about when the kids are off sick.

I hate it when my kids are off sick, and will often send them in 'feeling sick' with a spoonful of calpol. When they are at home, I insist on constant bed rest, to make the day as dull as possible. Is this fair, or am I being cruel?
There are plenty of aspects of parenting that I do well. I’m happy to go on trips to the cinema, I can talk openly about delicate issues, and I don’t mind the odd game of Sylvanian Families, but one thing I am really not good at is dealing with sick children.

I know I should probably be sat at their bedside, mopping their fevered brows and helping them sip from a mug of homemade chicken broth, but I just can’t. When it comes to illness, I just have no sympathy – I just want them better, back at school, and out from under my feet.

When I was a child, my mum used to make staying home from school a real treat. Any sign of a sniffle and we could tuck ourselves up under a duvet on the sofa with a bit of Richard and Judy, and enjoy big bowls of tomato soup with grated cheese on top. When being sick is so much fun though, where’s the incentive to get better?

While my stay-at-home-mum was able to take care of us without having to worry about work, my full time self-employment means a child at home really is a headache, for them and me, and so I try to discourage sickness as much as possible. I ensure a day off is as dull as possible, so that they’re soon begging to go back to school, if only so they can sit upright.

“Bed rest!” I’ll declare with mock concern whenever one of my daughters is ill. “It’s the only way. If you’re not well enough for school you’ll need complete bed rest. All day. You can get up to go to the toilet, but other than that you’ll have to remain lying down at all times. I will bring you water and plain toast and you’re allowed to read.”

This approach soon filters out the really poorly from those who are just hoping to watch a bit of Cash in the Attic.

What’s your approach to sick kids? Are you in the ‘tough love’ camp or do you think I’m horribly cruel and uncaring?

The Reserves

2012-02-13T13:46:00.001Z

Happy Birthday CBeebies!

2012-02-09T08:46:00.002Z

Did you know CBeebies is ten years old this week? Nor did I. It all began so long ago when my eldest daughter was just slightly younger than Charlie is now. Which means I've been watching it, on and off - and more on than off - for a decade.

We try not to. As adults, we're probably in a tiny minority of people who could just about get away without a Tv, we watch so little. That's not because we're doing holier-than-thou cultural diversions like singing madrigals or playing string quarters or reading Proust. It's because we're too tired. Most decent telly lasts about an hour - I record plenty of it. Then - once the kids are in bed, once the dinner pots are done, once the toys are tidied up and once any homework has been supervised - we just flick through the Sky + planner and give up.

But although our lack of telly goggling is largely involuntary, I do try to ration the amount the kids watch. Because I think they should be doing something else as well as watching telly. But the thing about CBeebies (this is not a sponsored post, honest) is that it's so darned good. It's difficult to be discriminating when the quality is so consistently high. And - here's the rub - it actually inspires my brood to go and 'switch off the television set and do something less boring instead.' So what's not to like?

Well, there's Waybaloo of course. But enough of that. We've all got our bête noire and that's mine. (I thought children's programmes had moved on from the coy 'kiddies' voiced characters talking in the third-person, but no matter.) Personally, with the benefit of my rose-tinted spectacles, I think you've got to go a long way to beat Trumpton. Or Bod, or Mary, Mungo and Midge. Or Hector's House. Or Mr Ben.

But enough nostalgia. Well, no actually. Because this coming weekend CBeebies is celebrating by showing some classics of the station now not often seen. Things like Big Cook, Little Cook (not one I miss, personally - give me Katy and her 'slippy, dippy soap anyday') and Boogie Beebies. Jackanory Junior is on, I think, as is Carrie and David's Pop Shop slipped in amongst the regular schedule.

There's been quite a discussion on the CBeebies Facebook page about the celebration. In among programmes that were never part of the CBeebies schedule (Playschool, Playbus) or even part of any BBC channel (Rainbow) there's been a roll call of such long-gone delights as Brum, Higgledy House, Barnaby Bear (and Becky, of course), The Bobinogs and my own personal favourite, Story Makers.

Personally, I think they should devote an entire weekend to parents' choice of past CBeebies programmes. The children could amuse themselves doing things inspired by Mr Maker or Louie or Squigglet or similar while we amused ourselves with gone-but-not-forgotten gems.

So here's a challenge - what would your ideal CBeebies birthday schedule be? There are a few ideas to start you off in the video below. Maybe if enough of us show interest we can persuade them to run it, as a one off?

After all, in terms of hours watched, we must be their core audience!

Snow joke

2012-02-06T10:40:00.004Z

I made an important discovery about human nature yesterday. I discovered something profound and fundamental about our personalities. Everyone else has probably know about this for ages, but it has only just occurred to me. We all need our own personal epiphany, after all. And the truth of even the most commonplace experience is never so valid as when it happens to us. And this 'Eureka' moment has just happened to me.

So what is this discovery, I hear you ask? What is this revolutionary insight?

It is this.

The world divides into just two types of people. Not introvert/extrovert; forget passive/aggressive; don't think intuitive/impulsive. Fundamentally, people can be separated according to one straightforward characteristic - they're either makers or breakers; creators or destroyers; builders or wreckers.

I suppose even I have known this, deep down, for some time. After all, there were always those bigger boys on the beach who - after you'd spent all day crafting your best-ever sandcastle creation - would amuse themselves by trampling over it. Well they've all grown up now and are probably trampling all over people's dreams.

Like me you probably had certain friends whose toys were always broken, kids who took more pleasure in smashing things to bits than putting them together. They're now almost certainly taking similar pleasure in breaking promises or else dismantling relationships or old cars or television sets or the economy or something.

It's true, isn't it? You either make things or you break them. The undoubted truth of this psychological insight occurred to me yesterday whilst building a snowman. Here he is. He's called Bernard. (The snowman, that is). Nice, isn't he?

Thankfully, Bernard survives in the safety of our back garden. I was tempted to put him in the front for all the world to see (especially as the boulder of snow had grown so big I wasn't sure I could roll it round to the back of the house). But I opted for safety. And I'm glad I did.

Because we weren't the only ones building snowmen yesterday. All morning people filled the park opposite making ever more elaborate snow creations. By lunchtime there must have been a dozen or more, some over seven feet tall (I saw one woman sitting on her partner's shoulders placing the head atop their joint creation). Then the makers went home for a well-earned Sunday lunch. And the breakers emerged from their flea-infested pits. And by the end of the day there wasn't a single snowman left intact.

Which I think is rather sad. Yes, I know the snow is melting and the tide will always wash away our sandcastles. Ultimately, all our earthly creations are ephemeral. But I wonder whether being an instinctive maker or breaker influences your outlook on life in general, your attitude to other people, your respect both for yourself and the planet?

Or is smashing snowmen up just damned good fun?

Are you a snowman maker or a snowman breaker?

What a load of rubbish!

2012-02-02T11:30:00.002Z

Who'd have thought recycling could be so good, so cheap and so much fun?

As my regular reader will tell you, I've signed up for The Rubbish Diet - Karen Cannard's plan to slim my bin with the ultimate aim of achieving a zero-waste week at the end of the eight-week challenge.

So far, so good.

Does my bin look big in this?

And now - the pièce de résistance - this little beauty (above) will not only provide me with free compost and put an end to the ridiculous amount of biodegradable food waste we at present send to landfill, but the item in question was a bargain, a snip, a steal at just £5 - five pounds! - in Wilko the other day.

And if that isn't enough to send you in search of your own compostarium, or if putting your potato peelings to good use isn't your idea of fun, just take a toddler along and convince him (or her) that they can walk around the store with the compost bin on their head, dropping to the floor (à la Toy Story 2) whenever a dangerous-looking shopping trolley heads their way...

Honestly, I had no idea being so green was going to be such good fun.

Let's hear it for the Dads...

2012-01-31T09:00:00.003Z

You've got to love CBeebies. I do. I know there's Alex, but he improves with keeping. And there's Waybaloo. The less said about that the better. But really, there's lots to like and precious little to complain about.

But complain I did. I complained about a month ago about the links on the CBeebies Grown-ups blog. They linked to mums; they linked to grandmas. There were crafty links and bloggy links and useful links and entertaining links. But there were no dads links. It was as if they imagined their entire audience was female.

I politely pointed out that - as one of a growing number of stay-at-home dads - I'd appreciate the odd father-centred link. And then I forgot all about it.

So when an email came out-of-the-blue agreeing, apologising and inviting me to suggest some dads links I was both surprised and pleased. Oh, and I happily obliged. They're up there now on the CBeebies Blog for all to see.

As is my guest post for them, kicking off a week celebrating all things 'dad' and highlighting resources for us fathers. There'll be posts from Sid and Alex (both dads themselves) later in the week and the whole thing is going to culminate in a special 'dads only version of the Friday 'who's watched most CBeebies' quiz.

And being the stereotypical competitive alpha male that I am, I'm taking that last event very seriously indeed.

So if you'll excuse me, I've got to put the telly on.

Only joking.

Or am I?

Sunday Supplement

2012-01-29T09:00:00.000Z

It's Sunday and time once again for the round-up of reviews and recommendations that is the Bringing up Charlie Sunday Supplement.

First, baby monitors. I'm on my own with two kids every day. With the best will in the world you can't keep your eye on them for every second and now and then (shock, horror!) I have to leave them unattended. It's never for long and always while I do something else like start cooking supper, hanging out the washing or even going to the loo.

I've tested baby monitors with a camera before, not all that successfully. But the new Kid Cam from UK technology company Storage Options is a bit different. For a start, it's made by a firm not known for its baby monitors; second, it comes with two wireless cameras and a split-screen facility which allows you to see what's happening in two different places (say, a baby's bedroom and a toddler's playroom). That's a real bonus. Third it's entirely wireless, and fourth - it comes supplied with both permanent mounting brackets and strong, suction cup mountings that allow you to experiment with different locations. And that's important. I've discovered, for instance, that our kitchen is something of a wireless blackspot for all manner of transmissions, from monitor signals to WIFI. Being able not only to wall mount the screen (as well as cameras, of course) in order to keep it out of the way of whatever I'm cooking but to easily change the location to improve reception is a real bonus. Oh, and I forgot to say how easy it is to set up. And that you can use it in the car (there's an in-car charger available) and garden.

Next, a top secret assignment. Listen very carefully. I shall say theesss onli wance. The 'top secret' Ministry of Letters - an ordinary-looking postbox in the shadow of Big Ben, but in reality the place where all the words in the world are made - has just launched Operation Alphabet.

It's the story of little Charlie Foxtrot who has started school with a bad case of 'alphabetaheebeegeebees'. Fortunately, the Special Alphabet Service (S.A.S) is on hand and they embark on a top secret mission to find Charlie, teach him the alphabet and open his mind to a love of letters and stories.

Like an increasing number of books, Operation Alphabet is, well, more than just a book. It's an interactive website, a couple of YouTube videos as well as a poster, a blog and - coming soon - a show. The aim is not only to help teach children the alphabet but to make it fun and to inspire a lifelong love of language. As they say in their manifesto song...

Our mission, friends, is clear and true -
To help boys and girls like you!
To show how wonderful words can be -
All from the humblest A, B, C.

Finally, a little more about backache. Or more specifically, how to avoid it. As I mentioned in Friday's post, I attended a briefing for parents given by the British Chiropractic Association last Saturday. The aim was simple - to give us a little more information about looking after our backs, from the rudiments of good posture to lifting babies safely. Here's a short video, starring Dr Tim Hutchful, with some of the main messages. But don't forget the one I've already mentioned. Brushing your teeth standing on one leg isn't some kind of bizarre adult game to play whilst sharing a bathroom. It's actually a simple way of improving the decompression of your spine. Preventive exercise, in other words. And something you can do without going to the gym. It really was one of the most useful and interesting sessions I've attended and you can find out more by visiting the British Chiropractic Association website.

So, until next month, consider your Sunday well and truly supplemented. And for the sake of your back, don't forget to brush your teeth.

Oranges and Lemons

2012-01-27T10:38:00.000Z

I spent a very pleasant day in London last weekend at this:

I'll tell you more about it in another post. I learnt an awful lot about backs, the cause of back problems, and how to avoid them (the problems, that is, not the backs). For now, just try brushing your teeth while standing on one leg.

Anyway, I had a bit of time on my hands before heading for home and as I wandered along the Strand I happened on St Clement Danes Church. This is one of two London churches claiming to be the inspiration for the nursery rhyme (the other is St Clement's, Eastcheap) and the story goes that the association with citrus fruit comes from both from the docks that were once nearby and the fact that porters used Clement Danes as a short-cut to a nearby fruit market. In fact, no lesser source than Charles Dickens claims that the church charged them a small toll for the privilege, and Clement Danes still holds an annual 'Oranges and Lemons' service as well as playing - as you'll soon see - the rhyme on its carillon daily.

Unfortunately, the truth behind the famous nursery rhyme (first recorded by Playford in 1665 though almost certainly older) is rather less wholesome. For the bells of the various London churches mark in music the journey of a condemned man from the river to his execution at Newgate gaol. Hence the rather macabre (and little performed) ending to the nursery rhyme:

Here is the candle to light you to bed,
And here is the chopper to chop of your head.

Of course, Newgate gaol never did have a chopper. It had the gallows. But that doesn't rhyme.

Anyway, enjoy the tune. And if you want to find out more about the murky origins of those nursery rhymes we love to teach our children I've a copy of Albert Jack's excellent Pop Goes the Weasel: The Secret Meanings of Nursery Rhymes to give away. Just leave me a 'pick me' comment below. And don't forget to brush your teeth on one leg.

Do dads raise more adventurous kids?

2012-01-25T10:22:00.000Z

Just over a week ago I was contacted by someone on behalf of Sustrans, the sustainable transport charity, about their Free Range Kids campaign. The idea of the campaign is that children today should be able to do the things their parents took for granted, such as cycle to school, play football in the street and, well, have a free range childhood.

As someone who took for granted the freedom to go AWOL all day in the summer - returning home only when hungry - I was immediately interested. I'm a firm believer that risks - calculated risks - have to be taken and that children who are wrapped in cotton wool, kept free from all dangers are more likely to come a cropper later. But here's an intriguing question: do 'free range' kids do even better if they're lucky enough to have a 'hands on' rough-and-tumble, spirit of adventure father. In other words, do dads raise more adventurous kids?

That's what former stay-at-home dad Noah Fagan, an architect from Bristol, thinks. Here's his guest post.

Watching my son scale the ‘big kids’ climbing frame in the park last weekend - while his friend quivered at the bottom - a sly smile spread across my face. My three-year-old has got to be one of the ballsiest kids I know. And I like to think I’ve played a key role in that because for 16 months, I was a stay at home Dad.

Back in 2008, I was lucky enough to be made redundant three weeks before Isaac was born. I say lucky, because what followed was nearly two years of working for myself, from home, which also meant spending a lot of time with my family – something many ‘big business’ dads miss out on. My wife works for herself too, so we fell into a blissful, if slightly impoverished, ‘new-bohemia’ where whoever had work was at the desk while the other one did childcare. In general though, when it came to the physical stuff like swimming or the park, the responsibility fell to me.

Isaac has never showed any fear in the playground and I’ve never discouraged him. He was one of the few kids that could climb the ladder by the time he was 18 months. He jumped off the top of it when he was 20 months! While mums in the play area twittered around their kids, telling them things were ‘too high’ or ‘scary’ for them to attempt, I’d be giving Isaac a leg up to the fireman’s pole. As a result, he’s the first to throw himself into the pool each Saturday, the last to cry if he gets pushed in the playground – even a bee sting didn’t elicit any tears.

This success, in my opinion, hasn’t been without criticism from others– and I hate to say it, but mainly women. ‘There is a road there!’ one woman yelled a couple of weeks ago, as Isaac ran along in front of me happily. ‘I know, and he’ll stop when he gets to it,’ I smiled. ‘You hope!’ she hissed, rolling her eyes. Another lady, about a year ago in the park, kindly ‘helped’ my son off the top of the slide. ‘He was about to go head first!’ she chuckled nervously, handing a – by now – screaming toddler over to me. ‘That’s how he likes it,’ I smiled politely, putting him right back on. You see, while I’ve been keen for Isaac to explore his limits, I’ve always been there in case he crossed them. He knows to stop when he gets to the road, because I taught him to do so. He’s not afraid to ask for help if he climbs too high, because I’ve shown him there is no shame in knowing when to back down. He’s not a hard nut or a future adrenalin freak, he’s just a boy whose sense of adventure has been pandered too, not discouraged.
Last year UK charity Sustrans launched their Free Range Kids campaign in an attempt to encourage parents to let their kids play outside, and other roads users to be more responsible as a result. We want our two boys to cycle to school, to walk the streets with their mates. I don’t want my teenagers to be stuck in the house playing the Wii because they don’t know any different, and I worry the UK has fallen foul to a cotton wool culture, where our fear-driven attempts to keep kids safe are actually limiting their childhoods, maybe even putting them in harm’s way.

Last week, my wife brought Isaac back from the park, covered in mud from the zip slide. Apparently they spent ten minutes trying to encourage his friend to give it a go, but to no avail. ‘His mum said to me, “aren’t you afraid Isaac might be a racing driver or something?” And I said how cool that would be!’ my wife laughed. So, on reflection, maybe Isaac’s dare devil persona isn’t all down to me – but there is one very unscientific test we could try... Eli, son number two, is six months old and being raised primarily by my wife. If he’s not leaping from the playground ladder by his first birthday, I’m going to claim victory. Watch this space...

Do you want an environment that encourages kids to be active? Signing Sustrans' pledge is a quick and easy action you can take if you agree. Visit www.sustrans.org.uk/freerangekids

A rubbish post

2012-01-23T11:28:00.000Z

They say the road to hell is paved with good intentions. Well in my case the good intentions usually consist of something to do with recycling, reducing my carbon footprint, reusing stuff instead of throwing it away or otherwise reducing the harm done to the environment. The hell - on earth - will be what's left of our planet if we don't.

So I've signed up for Karen Cannard's Rubbish Diet challenge. Over the next eight weeks I'm going to slim my bin. And I've already begun this morning by doing this...

Ok, not much; I'm sure the planet isn't going to feel the benefit just yet. But it's a start. And I'm hoping there'll be more. Karen's site - The Rubbish Diet - contains a whole host of ideas. There's surely something, however small, that everyone can do. I'm not sure I shall be able to meet the challenge of having a zero waste week at the end of the eight-week programme, but I'm determined to do something to slim that bin.

Fancy doing something similar? You can find out more about it right here, and there's a post launching the eight-week challenge published this morning.

If we all did something, anything, however small...

...there'd be less work for the bin-men for a start.

Win an LG Optimus 3D Black

2012-01-19T09:47:00.001Z

A while ago, thanks to Tesco Mobile I ran a competition to win an LG Optimus 3D smartphone. All you had to do was leave a comment with your favourite money-saving tip, the connection of course being that Tesco Mobile Capped Contracts are designed to give you complete control of your mobile spending, eliminating any unexpected surprises in your monthly bill.

Well, it proved so popular they're offering another. This time there's an LG Optimus 3D Black up for grabs, boasting 'crystal-clear, eye-popping 3D imagery' and well as 'dual core, dual channel and dual memory technology.' Here's what it looks like:

And here's what you have to do to get your hands on it. Simply share your favourite New Year money-saving resolutions. It could be something short-term, designed to help ease the pain of all that Christmas spending. Or it could be a top tip designed to last the whole year. And it doesn't have to be anything to do with mobile phones either! (Although feel free to share any mobile tips you've got.)

You can find out more about Tesco Mobile Capped Contracts by having a look at their latest TV advert. In the meantime, get those money saving resolutions rolling and the first thing you might be saving is a cool £420, which is the price of the Optimus, sim-free. The competition closes at midnight on Saturday 21st January and I'll be announcing the winner on Sunday.

This competition is now closed. Thanks to everyone who entered!

Get smart

2012-01-16T11:58:00.000Z

With winter well and truly upon us and energy prices eating more of the family budget it makes sense to be savvy about your home heating bills. Add to that the environmental benefits of energy efficiency and the case is pretty well unanswerable. Most people know all about the need for decent insulation and the like but how many are aware of the benefits of a smart meter? British Gas has asked me to help spread the word, and I'm happy to oblige. This short video will tell you how smart meters work and what's in it for you in having one installed.

British Gas has been rolling them out across the UK for a while now and over 400,000 homes and businesses are already seeing the advantages. They're hoping this will grow to around 1.5 million by the end of 2012 and I'm certainly hoping to be one of them. There's something very powerful about knowing precisely how much energy you're using when you put the kettle on, or when the telly's left on standby; and having a meter that sends readings automatically seems, well... smart!

For more information have a look at the British Gas smart meter site and the British Gas Facebook page.

This is a sponsored post on behalf of British Gas

A Dirty Movie

2012-01-12T10:43:00.002Z

You like it dirty? Do you? really? Well then this ain't the post for you! This is clean and mean and probably lean. This is what to do with your carpets after the Christmas invasion. This is what to do after the relatives have been.

When I was asked to try the Vax Ultra Rapide carpet washer I confess I was a little sceptical. Not, I should point out, of its undoubted ability to suck the grime from even the grubbiest carpet. No. But at our need for such a thorough, deep pile de-dirt device.

How wrong can you be?

I can now say with complete conviction that not only does the Vax clean, not only is it child's play to use, not only does it dry incredibly quickly, but my carpets needed it. Oh, how they needed it. So now, with all the zeal of a convert, I'm about to Vax the whole house. I'll Vax yours too if you ask me. For a small fee. Maybe.

In the meantime, want to see a dirty movie?

An open letter to PRs everywhere

2012-01-09T08:00:00.000Z

I was supposed to be in London today, providing blogger input at a PR seminar. The invitation flattered me by talking of my 'expert input'' and asking me to help them 'refine and improve the way we communicate with media and bloggers'.

I thought about it, decided there was plenty I could say and duly made the arrangements to go. Then the warning bells started ringing. First, came an email saying they were 'keen to catch up with the rest of the team before finally confirming this'; then came a 'phone call revealing that the day hadn't been confirmed and was likely to change. Finally, I was told that the changes meant my presence was no longer required.

Now, I'm not one to sulk. (Not often.) I'm quite happy in the knowledge that some invites come my way and others don't. It doesn't bother me that some bloggers get invited to things I'm not asked to attend. What does bother me is being invited to something and accepting only to be told - having made childcare arrangements, for example - that the whole thing is off. Worse, that it's not off but that - in spite of fulsome we would love you to attend-s and please tell us what you think about PRs-s, in spite of being sent a schedule, a location and specific time and date, in spite of receiving (unsolicited) a wholly unambiguous invitation detailing the kind of blogger input they require, input I was capable and willing to provide - the event is going ahead, just not as planned. Thank you and goodnight.

At first, I thought it might be my misunderstanding. So I re-checked all the emails. Not only weren't they 'round robins' (I began to wonder if they'd done a blogger beauty parade and found me lacking) but they were specific and direct. It was me they wanted. And they wanted me for a very specific purpose. Until they didn't. No, this wasn't my misunderstanding at all. This was someone at best being cavalier with my time and schedule or at worst making up a brief 'on the hoof' and sending invites only to find it wasn't what the bosses wanted at all.

Which isn't really good enough.

So, here's what I would have said if I'd been there. Here's what I'd like to say to PRs everywhere. I like working with PRs. Most of them are really good. But clearly, some need just a little help. It is at hand.

Rule 1: Know what you want.
I know the design of a PR campaign is your area of expertise rather than mine, but I could save some of you a lot of time (not to mention money) with this simple rule. While most firms are now reasonably blogger-savvy, some still seem to think that sending of an email with press release attached is like pushing an enormous button marked 'go' on a blogger's head, sending them scurrying straight to the the lap-top. (Here's our latest press release - now blog about it.) Basically, you ought to consider why I should bother reading about your latest book/product/outreach programme or whatever. That way, when you tell me about it, I'll know (a) that you've read the blog and you know who I am, and (b) whether anyone else who reads this might be interested.

Rule 2: Know your incentive
There's nothing worse than toddling along to an event only to find vague promises of 'traffic' being pushed to our blogs being dangled as a carrot. To be honest, I don't really care how you 'incentivise' us. But please don't insult us by assuming we can bask in the reflected glory of your or your client's website. And don't use the word 'incentivise'.

Rule 3: Be specific
I like knowing where I'm going, when, and what I'm doing when I get there. I don't like being told, on arrival, that part of the day will be spent (in groups - horror!) deciding what we should be doing. It's a waste of everybody's time. I'll gladly help you decide if you'd like. I'm good at that kind of thing. But not on the day. Time is short. Things need to happen.

Rule 4: Don't assume
We blog, but it's not all we do. We have lives, diaries, commitments, meetings, schedules just like you do. We can't (well, I can't and I suspect I'm not alone) simply 'drop everything' for an event you're organising. Nor can we easily pick it all up again if you decide you don't want us. We need notice. And we need a commitment. If you want us to put ourselves out for you then make sure it's going to happen.

Rule 5: Be realistic
Although I like to think that my posts will have a global reach and I can therefore help you deliver your message to the masses, let's be realistic about it. And don't instruct me to post three times at a specific time with a prescribed number of backlinks and then tweet about it on the hour, every hour for the next three days using a ridiculous range of hashtags. Speaking as a reader, they're the posts I never bother with. Let me do what I can and let me do it my way. There'll be some quality 'engagement' (as you people like to call it) and that'll be that. Tomorrow's a whole new PR campaign.

So, there you have it. I hope the PRs our there find it useful. And if you've got any more tips of your own, please do add them in the comment box below. I'm sure they'd be happy to hear them.

Dance Together Dinosaurs

2012-01-06T09:00:00.000Z

'Strictly Come Dancing meets Jurassic Park.' That's how Jane Clarke's latest children's picture book has been described. It's a toe-tapping tale with a twist as a host of dinosaurs compete against each other in a dancing competition. But why do the judges keep disappearing?

You'll have to read the book to find out. But I'm delighted to say that children's author Jane Clarke is here today to provide the answers to some different questions - about her writing, her ideas and collaborating with illustrators among other things.

If, like me, you've ever admired the verve and skill of those bedtime stories that are your nightly reading then the chance to ask one of the people behind some of the most popular children's titles of recent years just what it takes was too good to resist. I voluntarily restricted myself to half-a-dozen questions, although I could've gone on all afternoon. Anyway, here's what Jane had to tell me.

What inspired you to begin writing books for children? Where have subsequent ideas for stories come from - is there a consistent source of inspiration or is each book different?

Over 10 years ago, I was working in a school library reading stories, and helping children select books. A little girl called Jasmine asked me week after week if I had a book that was about 'a princess, rabbits and shopping.' She was so persistent that in the end I made up a story for her, and that opened the floodgates for loads of other boys and girls to ask me to create stories for them to order. It was a lot of fun and eventually I started writing down stories and went on courses, learning the craft from wonderfully generous people like Pat Hutchins and Tony Bradman. Subsequent ideas have often come from family experiences and I've had great pleasure turning my sons into elephants, sharks, dinosaurs and other assorted wildlife.

Some people seem to think that writing books for children is something of an easy option. How 'easy' is it compared to other forms of writing?

I've never tried other forms of writing, but I suspect that finding the idea for a children's book is as difficult for a children's writer as for an author of adult fiction. But I have to admit, I don't need to spend that many hours sitting on my bottom actually writing it :-)

You've produced well over twenty books over the course of the last ten or so years. Do you have you a set writing 'routine' or is your approach flexible?

I'm most productive in the morning, so I try and write then and do office work later . It's great to get out on author visits to school and I always try to seize the moment if something interesting comes up. Working for myself means I can always make up for it by writing at weird hours of the night if I have a deadline.

You've also worked with a variety of illustrators in your career, including Charles Fuge and now Lee Wildish. How much influence do children's authors have over the choice of illustrator and what is the secret of a successful collaboration?

The publishers choose the illustrator, and I've been very lucky to be paired with such talented illustrators who bring the idea to life and enhance it in so many ways. I think the secret of a successful collaboration is for the author to be flexible enough to adapt their text to the illustrators work once the pictures start coming in.

Several of your books have a nautical flavour or setting (I'm thinking the 'Gilbert' titles and things like 'Eye, Eye, Captain and Sherman Swaps Shells). Is the sea important to you in some way or is this just coincidental?

Coincidental - but I do love the sea and am lucky enough to live close to it. Today it's a lot greyer and stormier than a picturebook ocean!

Finally, what advice would you give a would-be children's author? And - on a similar note - what's the single most important thing you've learned in your career?

The answer is the same to both - write with joy and enjoy the process.

Jane's latest book - with fantastic illustrations by Lee Wildish -was published yesterday by Red Fox Picture Books (ISBN-13: 978-1849410137) is available now priced £5.99 in bookshops, on Amazon and at The Book Depository.

It's a bedtime boogie!

One Born Every Minute

2012-01-04T09:30:00.000Z

A little over a year ago - weeks before the birth of Eloise - we were contacted by the producers of this Channel Four series and asked if we'd like to take part. They were looking for couples with a baby due before or after Christmas and we certainly fitted the bill. The series followed couples as they prepared for the big day right up to the birth itself and made for fascinating viewing. We declined the invitation to take part ourselves, which was probably just as well as in the event things moved so quickly that I doubt even the swiftest camera crew could have got anywhere near the hospital in time. We nearly didn't make it and my wife barely got her trousers off!

There's a new series of One Born Every Minute starting this tonight and it promises to be every bit as good as the first. This year they're looking to recruit bloggers to add their personal stories and you can find details of how to get involved over on the Netmums blog.

Tonight's first episode is all about dads - a subject clearly very close to my own heart - and follows the progress of two dads-to-be as they prepare for their new arrival. Future episodes include one on pain and another on women who 'break the rules'. The series is on Wednesday nights at 9pm on Channel 4 and available to watch online at www.channel4.com/oneborn.

In the event, of course, we made it. All was well. And this was the result. A little girl in something of a hurry!

Summoned by bells

2012-01-02T19:48:00.002Z

So, that's that. School tomorrow (or work) for many and the wonderful, leisurely (who am I kidding?) relaxing (you've got to be joking!) holidays yield once more to the demands of the clock, the boss, the bus and the school bell.

But not for us. I've said before I'd happily never have to undergo the imposition of industrial time again. Twenty years of being 'summoned by bells' whether they be the alarm clock or those infernal things in school corridors is enough for anyone.

I like not having a set routine. I like having the flexibility, with Charlie, to follow our instincts creatively. So he asks about the moon: we'll find out all about it. He wants to know why birds fly. I teach him the principles of aeronautics. (Well, I try.) I know we'll soon have to bend to the unyielding rhythm of the school day; his honeymoon period is already almost over and the nursery he goes to is gently preparing him for all that the classroom will require of him. But I still think it's a shame.

Ask yourself this: why do we do it this way? The answer's simple, of course. It couldn't happen if we didn't. We need an educated workforce and the factory model of teaching children is the one we've used since the start of universal education. And back in the day, when a kid left school at 12 or 14 he or she would certainly have had to be fully trained in the art of time-keeping. Woe-betide if you were late for your shift!

But I wonder, in the future, how many of the kids in Charlie's class will work a nine-to-five day like so many now do. Increasing numbers work flexibly from home (as, I suppose, I do); the Henley Centre predicts that in a few years time we'll almost all have portfolio careers - basically a succession of short-term contracts - where one of the most highly marketable of employee skills will be the proven ability to work flexibly.

And that includes, of course, being flexible with time. Routine is good, don't get me wrong. I like to enforce a decent bedtime and we don't drop everything and start eating the moment we get hungry. But a healthy dose of flexibility won't do anyone any harm now, especially when the next thirteen years of education will be so rigidly inflexible.

So good luck to all those back-to-school and work tomorrow. As it's not nursery, we'll be home as usual and I'll be trying to make sure Charlie enjoys his last few months of freedom as flexibly as possible.

Stop press: to hear my contribution to the discussion on this subject on the BBC Radio Five Live Breakfast Show this morning, click the image below and fast forward to 1:40.

So, that was Christmas...

2011-12-30T15:08:00.001Z

Well, not quite of course. As all good students of the church calendar will know, the season ('to be jolly, fa la la la la' etc.) doesn't actually end until January 6th (first of Epiphany, when the Three Wise Men finally get to give their gifts). And as that is also, in fact, Orthodox Christmas Day it's an excellent excuse to do the whole thing all over again should you want to. And if you should (want to do the whole thing again) here are a few things you might want to do differently. Especially if you're me.

Christmas Eve
Lovely as it is to listen the the Nine Lessons and Carols on the wireless broadcasting machine, simultaneously tweeting the lessons and the words of carols can be something of a distraction. Mind you, being on Twitter did reveal the most enormous, presumptuous arrogance of the BBC Radio Four feed in allocating the hashtag #BBC9LC - thus appropriating the entire event rather than the mere transmission of it to my living room. Now this is serious. If merely broadcasting something to the nation entitles one to take the credit for the event and assume kind of ownership then we should all worry, from the grandest to the humblest. I did search the twitter feed for #BBCHMQSpeech the following day but to no avail. The pinkos at BBC HQ must've got cold feet after my warning tweets the day before.

Christmas Day
With three children in the house ranging in age from thirteen years to a little under twelve months you'd not expect the eldest to be the one sitting at the foot of your bed at six-thirty in the morning drumming her fingers and impatiently waiting for the others to wake up. Top tip: take the eldest to Midnight Mass the night before. That way he or she will be as knackered as you are at six-thirty not having got to bed until two-thirty that morning.

Christmas Lunch
If you plan to play an excellent practical joke on your ex (having invited her round for lunch) ensure it doesn't get forgotten in the kitchen chaos of Christmas cooking. Having enjoyed a starter of prawn cocktail washed down by a suitably impertinent sauvignon, it had been my intention to put this before the mother of my eldest while simultaneously filling everyone else's plate with generous slices of goose. But I forgot.

Christmas afternoon
It's a mistake to leave the bulk of the present-opening until Christmas afternoon - especially after spending all morning in the kitchen. Inevitably the effort expended and alcohol consumed will result in a postprandial stupor of immense proportions and one will miss the kids opening most of their presents as well as completely forget who sent what to whom, making 'thank you' notes a tad difficult to write.

Boxing Day
(Otherwise known as the Feast of Stephen.) A walk is essential. Indeed, any form of exercise is de rigueur. Just be careful how much and how vigorous and for how long. Especially after all that Christmas pudding. The day after Christmas Day isn't the celebration of the first ever Christian martyr for nothing. Oh, and while we're about it, Wenceslas wasn't even a King (a Duke merely, or Earl. But that doesn't have quite the same ring, does it?)

The Third Day of Christmas
Your true love might or might not have gifted you three French hens (...he or she might not have given you anything at all - mine didn't. But then, I didn't give her anything either. We agreed in advance we'd go to the Opera instead next year!) but if the pile of presents beneath our tree is anything to go by, there'll still be plenty to open. In fact, staggered opening can be useful for a variety of reasons (see Christmas Day, above) and gives the recipient of tender years time to get to grips with each new toy in turn (and onlookers of more advanced years time enough to extract from all the packaging, install the batteries and retire to a quiet corner with another beer).

The Fourth Day of Christmas
By now, your goose (in our case) will be well and truly cooked. So for goodness sake take it out of the oven and start eating it!

The Fifth Day of Christmas
Five Gold Rings? Really? That's one for each finger. Lucky you.

The Sixth Day of Christmas
Did you know all swans in this realm of ours belong to Her Royal Majesty the Queen of Elizabeth? The self-same whose Christmas Day address to the Nation next year will almost certainly be appropriated by the BBC in its twitter-feed? So here's another Yuletide tip from the top - no swans whether a-swimming or otherwise on pain of a summons for High Treason and incarceration in the Tower (a fate only slightly worse than the one to befall certain members of this family yesterday after a long-distance journey to bestow season's greetings on a group of far flung relatives - followed by the late-night relay truck ride home in the small hours of this morning).

If anyone knows how to fix a nearside front electric window, I know a man who'd like to hear from you.

An eco-friendly very merry Christmas to you all!

2011-12-24T12:07:00.002Z

As you know, I've not sent any Christmas cards this year and have made a donation to charity instead. But that doesn't prevent me wishing everyone the compliments of the season. Oh no. So, here's an environmentally friendly animated audio-visual e-card for you all...

Have a wonderful Christmas!

Tesco Christmas

2011-12-22T16:42:00.000Z

The clock is ticking, but there's still time - plenty of time - to get those last-minute jobs done and if they involve spending time in the kitchen, there's help on hand in the form of the Tesco Christmas Zone, with all the information you could possibly need to cook the perfect Christmas dinner. There's a turkey timer, cocktail finder and leftovers recipe search to take some of the hassle out of the big day. They've also released videos to help you carve the turkey perfectly, make the perfect roast potatoes and bake your own edible Christmas gifts to name but three. Personally, I'm quite tempted to have a go at something like this. She makes it look easy, doesn't she?

This is a sponsored post

Are you ready?

2011-12-21T17:23:00.001Z

Got the turkey ordered? Sprouts sorted? Presents wrapped and cards posted?

No, me neither. Never mind. Help is at hand and I'll be guiding you in the direction of some useful tips for Christmas Day tomorrow. Today, though, Christmas has come early for *drumroll* Adventure Mother, winner of the Green Giant 'Five-A-Day' challenge and author of this handy tip for getting kids to eat their greens, on Christmas Day and every day:

Blending vegetables and mixing them into gravy has always worked for my kids. It works particularly well for cottage pie. I make it with lean beef and finely chopped onions, then add whole peas (the only green thing they will eat whole) and blended carrot and spinach. You could even mash swede or parsnip into the potato topping for an extra dose of your 5 a day!

Pretty crafty, eh? Runners up included Sarah Hague who wrote that 'making a nice vegetable soup always works. You can throw in all the stuff they don't like and it'll come out magically delicious. Especially with croutons.' And Expat Mum suggested we 'puree them (the veggies, not the kids) and add to pasta sauce. Since most kids like pasta, it's fairly fool proof. If yours won't eat red sauce, you can add spinach to pesto and Voila! With red sauce, you can puree a ton of different veggies in there and it doesn't really change the taste. Spinach adds a lovely nutty taste though. Best to do it a tablespoon at a time to get them used to it though. Wink!'

Thanks for all the tips and - believe me - they will be tried and tested and tweaked and then tried again. You can find more five-a-day tips on the Green Giant Facebook Page and, talking of the jolly Green one, here's his Christmas message to you all...

Cheers!

2011-12-20T19:29:00.001Z

Further to my Pot Noodle post the other day I know that several of you were concerned about my dietary well being (ok, a couple of people said something on Twitter). So, I thought I'd tell you what I've had to eat this evening: salmon linguine, cooked especially for me by my wife (she who promised to obey) and accompanied by a light, refreshing blend of Chardonnay and Sauvignon blanc courtesy of Stowell's of Chelsea.

Now, I don't think of myself as a wine writer (although I'm always open to offers!) but I do enjoy the stuff, never more so than when accompanying a plate of wonderful food. I could go on about the melon, pear and apricot aromas or the balance of fresh acidity with a hint of sweetness but I won't. Because - believe it or not - that isn't the most important feature of this new range. Because at just 60 calories for a 125ml glass (30% less than a typical glass of wine) and with an APV of just 5.5 per cent, Stowell's Light (in red, rose and white) offers an opportunity for sensible seasonal and all-year-round drinking at a fraction of the usual alcohol levels - but without the usual compromise on taste.

They sent tonight's bottle therefore this is, of course, a sponsored post. But what they don't know is that I've been searching for something like this for years - not least at this indulgent time of year. Soft drinks just don't 'do it' at the office party, so the idea of something full of flavour but light on calories and alcohol is intriguing. Suffice to say, this won't be the first bottle we'll be having.

So, let's raise a glass of Stowell's Light, chink glasses and say 'Cheers!' And know that, in the watches of the night when the kids wake up, or when the the first sounds of morning are heard far, far too early, there'll be none of the usual groaning and gnashing of teeth (to say nothing of steering the porcelain bus). You'll wake up with a clear head, ready to face the morning.

Philips Airfryer Review

2011-12-18T09:07:00.001Z

And talking of food (as I was, here) let me tell you about this - the Philips Airfryer healthy frying machine.

Using 80% less fat this little beauty will create the perfect chips in just twelve minutes. But there's more to it than chips. You can make all sorts in it, from home-made fish-cakes to puff-pastry mincemeat parcels. And I have. I'll post pictures and recipes shortly.

But first, chips. (Or if you prefer, as it's Sunday, roast potatoes - only the shape need change.)

First stage, of course, is make your chips. That's easy enough. You don't need a picture for that, do you? Ok then, they look like this:

Ok then, once you've done that, simply add half a tablespoon of oil and get your hands in the bowl and mix.

Next, set the temperature and time.

And in just twelve minutes (depending on quantity) using the patented Rapid Air technology (think very hot hair-dryer) you've got what Philips claim are the 'tastiest chips containing 80% less fat.' And you've got them at a fraction of the cost (with a fraction of the fat and none of the salt) of bought ones. Ok, it takes a little bit of time. But not much - minutes, really. Time well spent to have your chips and stay healthy!

Using my new favourite price-comparison site Idealo.com you can get one of these for as little as £120. The perfect Christmas gift for your chip-loving loved ones!

Mmmmm!

Bon appetit!

2011-12-16T13:27:00.001Z

It was the works Christmas lunch today. As the only employee I wasn't about to cook the whole shebang just for myself. So I had one of these instead. It was rather nice.

Until recently I hadn't had a Pot Noodle for something like twenty years and I probably shouldn't have done for at least another twenty. Claims earlier this week that over 20,000 people in the UK die every year due to type 2 diabetes were shocking enough, as was the claim that eating as few as two takeaways a week runs an increased risk of developing the disease, especially for women. As a 'born-again' healthy eater on the TescoDiets £s for lbs campaign recently, I certainly know what I should be eating. And the tasty, simple menus linked to online shopping make all the usual excuses irrelevant.

But, well... It was jolly tasty I can tell you. And after all, it's only once a year.

I think I'll organise the office party next.

Season's Greetings!

2011-12-13T10:20:00.000Z

I've threatened this before. (Threatened? Promised?) A couple of years ago I was being all Scrooge-like about the one Christmas tradition I really don't understand. Almost every year I say I'll stop it at the same time as grumbling about the time it takes, the expense of it and the sheer pointlessness of it all. I'm not dreaming of a White Christmas. Well, perhaps I am. But not with every Christmas card I write. Because this year - finally, at last and long overdue - I'm not writing any.

Now I love Christmas, I really do. I love (almost) everything about it. I've already told you I like shopping for Christmas presents (and would still like to know what you'd add to my list). But the sending of cards to those you're going to see personally, to those you see at work every day, to those you're going to wake up next to on Christmas Day...

Don't get me wrong; I'm still wishing everyone a 'Merry Christmas' at every available opportunity. And that's the point. Why send a piece of cardboard which may or may not get there and spend a fortune on the postage to do something I'll be doing either personally, or through the medium of technology (and I'm talking telephones here) anyway? I suppose there is still a case for sending cards to those far-flung friends and rellies not on Facebook or connected to the internet. But that isn't many. Really it isn't.

So here's the deal. This year, everyone will be getting their very own e-card. And I don't just mean the kind of thing you sign up for online and cut-and-paste your face into. If you're on twitter, I'll send you a #twittercard. Facebook, likewise. And I'll be giving the money I've saved to a local homelessness charity. It's quite liberating, really. And it's not at all related to the fact that I seem to be so disorganised this year I'd probably not have written my cards until New Year anyway.

Ok, well maybe it is a bit. But that's really only nudged me into doing something that I've wanted to do for years. Namely, this...

MERRY CHRISTMAS!