Brit in SB

The Big Rig

2011-05-09T22:44:00.000-07:00

As any visitor, holidayer (vacationer) or resident of the big ol' US of A will know, this country likes to do things BIG. Really BIG. Whether it's giant burgers, 10-lane mega-freeways, uber-buy-anything-ever-in-one-place-malls, or the ever-expanding waistbands of the populace, the US loves nothing more than to go unashamedly large.

However, having worked at the California State Parks last summer and more recently the occasional weekend shift, I have come to believe that nothing epitomises this mantra more than the 'Big Rig' - the Recreational Vehicle (RV for short).

Now I'm not talking about those cute little Cruise America RVs invariably rented by an assortment of Europeans to trundle up the West Coast of the USA, or the almost-petite caraven-esque trailers. I'm talking the real deal, the behemoths of the well-to-do, temporarily transient population, pictured perfectly below:

A 'Big Rig'

From a modest origin of a simple horse-drawn wagon, the RV has gone through a number of revisions and improvements, but none more revolutionary than the advent of the automobile. With one fell swoop, the crude tool that helped win the West was transformed into a gas-guzzling, continent-spanning, microculture-creating mobile residence of awesomeness.

For sheer brilliance of name, I'm going to highlight the Beaver Patriot Thunder . The name itself evokes everything that is awesome about America: PATRIOTISM, THUNDER and BEAVERS. When combined, the name almost manages to distract you from the eye-watering 'starting price' of $475k, the price of your average 2-bed condo in Santa Barbara, or a 50-acre, 7-bedroom ranch in Montana. But if you're going to be a 'Full-timer' then let's face it, you aren't going to need one of those namby-pamby stationary 'houses' any time soon.

Now no commentary of this superbly-monikered leviathan of the road would be complete without some interior shots courtesy of RoamingTimes.com:

Palatial

You know you are truly King amongst Road-Warriors when your carriage of choice carries a "40-inch flatscreen TV with surround sound". Not since Xzibit's ride pimpin' skills have we seen such a surfeit of 'Xceptional' automobile options available to the paying public.

Impressive

And 'impressive' is the word that comes to mind when describing the fuel capacity of these RVs (along with 'thirsty' and 'bloody hell'). A 45' 'tag-axle' Class A mega-RV will merrily imbibe 100 gallons of diesel before reaching satiety, and at a tree-uprooting 6 mpg your road-trip from LA to Vegas might include a few petroleum-based pit-stops on the way, but at what price the ability to pitch up in a random lay-by and host an impromptu evening soirée for 20 guests?

Having had my eyes opened to the true glory of these mighty monstrosities, the next time I am stuck behind a massive Beaver, or a Gulfstream Bounty Hunter XL sidles up to my window wheezing asthmatically and creaking in perfect synchrony with the driver's joints, rather than mutter obscenities I will instead bask in the magnificence of this truly American way of life, that not only is big, better, but that even bigger is even betterer.

Food & Bako Part 1

2011-05-07T12:37:00.000-07:00

It may not come as a huge surprise to anyone that knows me that my first 'proper' post would be about food...and the 'genre' of food to follow will likely also carry an utter lack of astonishment.

A bit of background first - my work ensures that a couple times a month I travel up to the jewel of Central California that is Bakersfield (slogan: It's Getting Better) necessitating not only an obscenely early start in the morning of the first day but an overnight stay thus allowing a glorious window of opportunity to sample the culinary delights that Bakersfield has to offer.

On the recommendation of Dr Vaidya, we visited what I have no doubt will become a solid fixture in the list of 'go-to' eateries in the area - Flame and Skewer. Now the name itself evokes the potential for awesomeness, but it was only upon entering the establishment itself that its true majesty was revealed.

A normal-looking fast-food place, nothing remarkably you may think - until I spied in the corner a common sight in any UK High Street of note that inexplicably has eluded me for the entirety of the duration of my time in Santa Barbara:

The Shawarma/Gyro/Doner Kebab

Epic

With a choice of chicken, beef (sadly, no lamb - but perhaps to be expected in the land of the cowboy rancher) or both. Unsurprisingly, the latter selection won out at the affordable price of a smidgen over $10 and I was shortly greeted with the heavenly sight of dual piles of beef and chicken shawarma, accompanied by a sizable portion of rice, hummus, tzatziki and pitta breads.

Barely able to contain my joy the plate before me was swiftly devoured, the assorted tastes evoking glorious memories of late-night wandering around the streets of London in desperate search of nourishment before stumbling upon the flickering fluorescent lights of a still-open kebaberie and the homely welcome of "Chilli Sauce mate?"

All in all, a cracking meal - it's a crying shame I haven't found anywhere similar in Santa Barbara but perhaps there might be something out there if I keep looking. Thank you Flame and Skewer for an awesome meal and overall experience and one which I have no doubt will be repeated in the near future. 5*s

Blogs and assorted miscellany

2011-05-05T23:40:00.001-07:00

Welcome visitors - on a completely made-up survey basis as a reader you likely fall into three groups:

1. My lovely relatively (1.5yrs) newly-wed wife who is probably wondering why I am putting any of my admittedly limited and precious time into something her uber-web connected friend described as a dead/dying media.

2. My friends/family back in the UK who I have been pretty rubbish at staying in touch with, though I like to think that is a function of being good enough friends that it is what we talk about when we catch up that matters rather than what we don't do when time and multiple-hour time-zones intervene.

3. Everyone else - in which case your finding and (potential?) interest is as remarkable as it is random.

But for the purposes of clarity and the appropriate lowering of expectations , this blog is going to be a mixture of observations, episodic updates and rarely a tidbit of potentially useful information, namely stuff that I couldn't find an straight-forward answer to on the internet* and have subsequently distilled into the kind of post I was looking for in the first place.

From Cadillac spark plugs to Healthcare and birthers, beverages, rooting Droids, BBQs and surfboards, this window into the random mish-mash of thoughts that bubble up during (in)opportune moments I hope will prove moderately amusing, of mild interest and of use to at least 2 people.

Onwards and sidewards,

Rich (the Brit, in Santa Barbara in case you were wondering)

*(is it me or is Yahoo Answers and it's ilk the biggest and most annoying repository of frustratingly incomplete and useless Google-polluting information?)