Britethorn Blog

Reviewing SNL

John Kramer — Sun, 06 Mar 2011 08:37:43 +0000

One of the biggest problems I have in reviewing SNL is my inability to use clips from the show in my reviews. As a YouTube Partner I'm bound by the terms of the Partner agreement which stipulate that I can't use outside media without the permission of the copyright holder-- which in this case would be NBC. I made several attempts to get that permission, but without any luck. I actually know a few of the current writers of SNL as well as some other NBC employees, but when I've reached out to them a look of fear seems to take hold because lawyers are involved. They all know that the lawyers exist at NBC, but none of them want anything to do with them, and just shudder at their mention.

Consequently I now only rarely risk the wrath of YouTube/Google and NBC by using any sort of content from the show, but do so under the flimsy protection of the "Fair Use Clause" of the US Copyright laws. Fair Use is supposed to allow for the use of copy-written material for purposes of parody and reviewing, but when one use the Fair Use Defense you always runt he risk of being dragged into court if the copyright owner wants to argue about the use of their material. I also run the risk of having YouTube yank the video and kicking me out of the Partner Program -- which would be a great financial loss to Britethorn.

In the case of my most recent review, I felt I HAD to show the shots of Miley Cyrus at the show's end. I really do recall EVER seeing a guest Host seemingly shunned the way she was. Only the guest band, The Strokes, got near to her, and they would presumably have been the ones to have had the least to do with her throughout the week. On a personal note, I have to admit to not being surprised by the way Cyrus was treated. I recently spoke to a Tour Bus Driver who had driven for Cyrus and he told me that he'd never let her on his bus again. I also spoke a couple of years ago to an ABCNews employee who had covered Cyrus and absolutely loathed both her and her Mother (and said Billy Ray was a "bump on a log.) It will be interesting to see if any "stories" leak out from SNL over the next week.

I'd LOVE to be a fly on the wall at the Cast Party!

Steve Jobs is Back

John Kramer — Wed, 02 Mar 2011 19:24:12 +0000

It should be no surprise to anyone following this blog that I am a maniac for Apple products, so you can only imagine how pleased I was to learn that Steve Jobs showed up today to take the helm at the unveiling of the iPad 2. He's had a lot of problems with his health lately and hasn't been seen in public for weeks (months) so I'm sure Apple's stock will shoot up today regardless of whatever the price of oil is doing.

The new iPad is thinner, lighter, the same price and now has two cameras, which are pretty my what I was expecting to hear. They've also added a HDMI port so you can hook the device up to a TV, which is very cool. If you're a teacher, for instance, you will now be able to draw with the iPad and have your classroom see what you're doing on a large screen. You can also connect to a site like Netflix and have the video displayed on your TV, which will be especially nice when one is traveling. Most good hotels have flat screen TV's with HDMI ports so you'll be able to watch Netflix on a bigger screen. And its also coming with something they call "Smart Covers" which I just checked out over at Apple: http://www.apple.com/ipad/#smart-cover They don't protect the device from a fall, but it sure does look handy for when you're not carrying it around. It protects the screen nicely and serves as a nice stand to prop it up. Very impressive.

Oh, and the processor is nine times faster than the old iPad. Wow!

I'm not familiar enough with the other tablets on the market (and coming out) to no whether the new features and software on the iPad 2 will blow them out of the water or not. What I do know is that the iPad 2 had Apple supporting it and supplying it with amazing Apps as well as the iTunes store which are big enough reasons to choose the Apple tablet over the Samsung Galaxy or the Motorola Xoom.

Bristol Palin's Writing a Book!!

John Kramer — Tue, 01 Mar 2011 21:52:42 +0000

WOW! Sarah Palin must be so proud of her daughter Bristol!
At the age of 20 she's already experienced enough life to write her memoir! The NYTimes ( http://artsbeat.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/03/01/life-after-dancing-a-book-f...) is reporting that she's signed a deal with her mother's publisher, Harper Collins. Of course she WILL be using a co-writer to do the actual writing, although to be fair to Bristol she actually did do the Dancing on "Dancing With the Stars" which will probably prove to be the highlight of the book -- although I, for one, think it would have been much more entertaining if she had really gone that extra mile and danced with her baby boy Tripp in a carrier on her back (although "Tripp" is probably not the most auspicious name for a Dance Partner.) Having Tripp with her would have provided an excellent teaching moment for America's teens who would have learned that when you become a Mommy as a teenager you are saddled with the little bundle of joy for the next twenty or so years.

Even if you get to appear on Network Television because you're mother is famous and you've actually never done anything notable in your life other than getting knocked up by a creep who's not responsible enough to raise the fungus in his hockey skates let alone an actual human being.

But hey, after Bristol "writes" her book maybe she can take a stab at college -- although I think she might actually have to do her own work there -- which would make an AMAZING story in her second memoir.

Sir Steve Jobs -- NOT!

John Kramer — Tue, 01 Mar 2011 19:20:48 +0000

I just read a great piece on CNET about how close Apple's CEO Steve Jobs came to being knighted by the Brits -- but that the honor was scuttled by former Prime Minister Gordon Brown because Jobs turned down a speaking engagement before the Labor Party. http://news.cnet.com/8301-13506_3-20037671-17.html?part=rss&subj=news&ta...
Just confirms everything I've ever heard about Gordon Brown, and why he's no longer the PM. His people skills are abysmal and his political instincts don't seem much better.

All that said, it would have been fun if the deal had gone through and Jobs had become Sir Steve. He'd probably have been the only knight in history to have had an Apple on his shield. And I would have loved to have seen his armor decked out with that nice brushed aluminum look he's using on all the Macs -- assuming you could ever get him out of his black turtle neck and blue jeans.

Charlie Sheen Missed His True Calling

John Kramer — Mon, 28 Feb 2011 19:50:52 +0000

I just finished watching the Good Morning America interview with Charlie Sheen which really has to be seen to be believed (and you can do that here: http://www.chicagotribune.com/entertainment/sns-viral-video-charlie-shee...), and the thing which really hit me hard while watching him pontificate on everything from chivalry to Chuck Lorre was that he had missed his true calling in life. He was clearly meant to be a Middle-Eastern Dictator. I'm reasonable sure a nation like Libya could trade Charlie for Muammar Gaddafi without anyone noticing -- accept that Charlie dresses better. The kind of megalomania he displays in the interview is the sort of thing you rarely head out of the mouth of someone not maintaining their lifestyle through the use of mustard gas and Secret Police.

Newt Gingrich is Running

John Kramer — Mon, 28 Feb 2011 01:30:03 +0000

From a political satirist's point of view, I couldn't be happier hearing that top "unnamed GOP officials" are whispering that Newt Gingrich is going to run for President! Oh joy!!! Finally someone with a bit of fire and character in his soul (as opposed to the dreary and boring Mitt Romney) is going to get into the ring and try to take down President Obama. Someone who is clearly NOT afraid of Sarah Palin! Someone with more skeletons in his closet than Michael Jackson.

Run Newt! Run!!

A Special Word for Charlie Sheen

John Kramer — Fri, 25 Feb 2011 09:03:29 +0000

It's been on my mind for some time now that the term "Douche Bag" has really overstayed its welcome in the forefront of English Slang. I think it was, perhaps, when John Stewart announced on The Daily Show

that Conservative columnist Robert Novak (who now resides in the Ninth Circle of Hell-- look it up -- and who had "outed" CIA Operative Valerie Plane Wilson in his syndicated column) had won the Congressional Medal of Douchebaggery that the term probably hit its zenith. And its been a long, slow plunge ever since.

And its not that I don't like the word and use it often myself, but its just gotten so overused that I feel that it needs to be retired for a time so that it might one day again regain its luster.

So imagine my joy when earlier today I overheard a friend of mine describe someone as a Dick Bag. Now, I know the word's been around for a while, but for some reason or other it just hasn't taken hold in the public's imagination. It doesn't come as easily to the lips as does Douche Bag, but I think that can all change if we really get out there and use the term.

And after all, hasn't feminine hygiene really paid its dues here? Isn't it time that a male part of the reproductive system gets a piece of this slang action?

And who, I ask you, is more deserving of being the poster boy for the Dick Bag campaign than Charlie Sheen? A guy who's had everything in life handed to him on a golden platter, but who nevertheless constantly and consistently insists on taking a big steaming dump on that platter and throwing it into the faces of everyone who's ever tried to help him be a decent human being.

I'm sorry that he's a drunk.
I'm sorry that he's an addict.
And I'm sorry that he's stupid. But none of those things gives him the right to wage this whiny campaign of his against Chuck Lorre, his Boss, the man who Created and is the driving Creative Force behind "Two and a Half Men," just because he's mad that CBS and Chuck Lorre don't want to work with a Dick Bag. Because that's what Charlie Sheen is: A Dick Bag. He gets paid 1.2 million dollars per episode to show up and deliver the lines that Chuck Lorre writes for him. That's more than 26 million dollars a season -- or would have been if Sheen's Dick Baggery hadn't shut the production down twice this season. And rather than apologize or try to set things right, he went on the radio and TMZ to attack Chuck Lorre as a Clown and a Charlatan and a Jew -- despite the fact that the guy is one of the most successful writer producers working in television today. He has three hits shows on CBS: Big Band Theory, Mike and Molly, as well as the now taken off life support, Two and a Half Men.

So yeah, Charlie Sheen is a Dick Bag and I hope the day comes when they have a category on Jeopardy Called "Hollywood Dick Bags" and "Who was Charlie Sheen" is the answer to the statement: This Hit CBS Comedy was canceled due to the Dick Baggery of this Overpaid Actor."

Rush Limbaugh Thinks Michelle Obama is Fat?

John Kramer — Wed, 23 Feb 2011 20:29:30 +0000

I caught a headline in the LA Times yesterday which made me do a double-take: "Rush Limbaugh criticizes First Lady Michelle Obama's Weight." Looking over what I just wrote, I find myself still doing yet another double-take. This one's wrong for so many reasons that I'm finding myself doing a reality check -- as well as some checks of recent photos of both Rush and Mrs. Obama.

Yes, Rush Limbaugh is still carrying a lot of extra poundage.

No, Michelle Obama is not fat.

And, in fact, I think she's the best looking First Lady we've had since Jackie Kennedy. And even if you didn't agree with me about her looks, you'd certainly have to admit that she looks healthy and fit. But not Rush. In Rush's book Michelle Obama is a loser because, in his own words, "I'm trying to say that our First Lady does not project the image of women that you might see on the cover of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue or of a woman Alex Rodriguez might date every six months or what have you." He is, of course, referring to actresses Kate Hudson and Cameron Diaz, both of whom are paid vast sums of money to keep themselves in top physical condition, and both of whom are in their 30's while Michelle Obama is approaching 50, and has two children.

And like Barbara or Laura Bush would have been on the cover of ANY swimsuit Issue!

So Rush is clearly making this stuff up, mostly so he can score points on her and her campaign to promote healthy eating among our nation's children. And yes, I know he's going after her on the food thing so he can help to tarnish her very popular image (Sarah Palin's doing the same thing) and thereby diminish her husband's standing with the American People/Voters. It just makes me wonder how far Limbaugh would go in attacking her in order to score points against her husband. First Ladies are expected to champion causes like literacy or drug awareness, but I think if Michelle were to take on either of those two issues Limbaugh would even come out against them! He'd spin the reading thing by claiming that she was being elitist in her choice of books to read, and that Drug Awareness should be left to parents to handle.

I wonder how he sleeps at night because, let's face it, this is a guy who has struggled with his weight his entire life. He knows personally about all the health and social problems related to obesity, and yet he still chooses to try and stop Michelle Obama from getting young kids onto the right dietary track. What does he care if a few million kids wind up in the same fat boat he's in now. Eat more vegetables. Get some exercise. These are bad things to be thrown out the window because the First Family ate some fatty food at a Superbowl Party?

The thing about Limbaugh is that its all a game to him. He loves radio more than anything in life. Its his passion and he'll do or say ANYTHING to stay on top of the ratings -- for which he is paid an insane amount of money, in the area of $50,000,000 a year. If he behaved like a normal human being on the air, he'd probably loose half his listeners overnight. He has an additive personality (look at all the trouble it got him into with his pain medication) and the microphone is a needle loaded up with a dose of adulation guaranteed to get him high and into that special frame of mind where he can rain his hate and vitriol down on whoever happens to have gotten his attention that day.

In the meantime I must console myself with the knowledge that he will one day go just a bit too far and his whole empire of hate will come crumbling down upon him. He screwed up his deal to do Football commentary, he lost his chance to buy an NFL team, he got caught abusing drugs and got away with it all, but down the road I just KNOW his mouth is going to go a bit too far and then . . . Silence. Sweet Silence.

Wal-Mart Returning to White Trash Roots

John Kramer — Tue, 22 Feb 2011 19:16:23 +0000

WOW! I would have bet money (but thankfully I didn't) that Wal-Mart would have been weathering this Recession pretty well. After all, when people are broke they shop where things are cheap, and say what you will about the Wal-Mart and the horrible way they've treated their employees (especially women), they are nonetheless the top retailer in the US and the King of Cheap. Underselling all the competitors is how they got on top, but in a move to acquire more affluent customers they seem to have dropped the cheap ball, with the big winner being Family Dollar Store.

Now, I live in the North Chicago Suburbs where we have a Wal-Mart right off the Edens Expressway, where it is nestled in amongst a collection of very nice stores such as Best Buy, Barnes and Noble, Bed, Bath and Beyond as well as a Dick's Sporting Goods. When I go shopping in all those other stores I encounter people I would never look at twice; they're normally dressed, they don't stand out, and they look like Chicago and its suburbs. But on the few occasion I've had to go into the Wal-Mart, I've felt as though I were stepping through some sort of a Stargate like portal leading to another dimension where all the people wear clothes that were out of style back in the 50's and have tattoos that look like they were inked on at a school for the blind and mentally challenged. The store was crowded, dirty and loaded with really cheap merchandise and everything about the place made my skin crawl.

To be fair to Wal-Mart, I have been in one or two of their other stores which were far more clean and well run that the location near my home, but first impressions are hard to erase, so the words Cheap and Dirty will always be etched in my mind when I think of the retailing giant.

But in a move to try and steal customers from Target and Costco (both of whom have been doing very nicely during the Recession) Wal-Mart made a move to go upscale, and ceded the "cheap" label to Family Dollar which is now growing fast in their rear view mirror -which has put the fear of God and Bankruptcy into their gut, and caused them to do an about face to return to their roots.

So don't be surprised to see Wal-Mart going after that White Trash Market in a big way. They're be scrounging around for the cheapest sweat pants and underwear to stock their aisles with, and don't be surprised if they hire SNL star Will Forte to star in an ad campaign for the store in the guise of his MacGruber character who, after all, wears a mullet.

And what says Wal-Mart better than a mullet?

Sketchers and Kim Kardashian

John Kramer — Fri, 18 Feb 2011 19:56:55 +0000

Well the Superbowl's now a couple of weeks in the past, but I'm still bothered by something I saw in one of the big SUPERBOWL COMMERCIALS that aired that night. It was for Sketchers shoes and it employed Reality TV and Amateur Porn star Kim Kardashian as a celebrity endorser for the product. Granted that she's hot and has a killer body, but it struck me at the time that there was something wrong with a Bimbo being used to sell shoes (and I'm guessing that the target audience was young women.)

I don't recall Nike, or Reebok or Asics or any other big shoe company every employing a male version of Kim Kardashian. When shoe companies pitch to men, they always use famous athletes like Tiger Words or Brett Favre -- oops! I guess those two have more in common with Kim than one might at first have thought -- but they choose those men for their prowess in their chosen sport -- not because they are especially hot (although that certainly doesn't hurt.) And when those two strayed into Kim's neck of the woods (sex) they both saw their endorsement deals dry up.

Danika Patrick is an interesting case. A famous NASCAR driver who is competitive with the best in the sport, she gets all sorts of endorsement deals which trade upon her good looks, but rarely do much to reference her skill as a driver. She's basically becoming a hot celebrity who does commercials for GoDaddy and the like,with littler attention given to her role as a race car driver. But even with all that, she absolutely earned those commercial endorsements by being really good at what she does. As opposed to Kim Kardashian who's a classic case of someone without any talent (other than her looks) clawing her way to celebrity status.

So why would a shoe company want to use her for endorsements? Why would younger women want to buy shoes so they can be like Kim? I guess because she's the ulitmate fantasy for a lot of women: hot, famous, dating top Athletes and Rap Stars. Too bad she got where she is without the slightest hint of talent in anything other than looking good in an amateur porn video.

LIVE: Blogging The YouTube Partner's Meeting Online: Part Three

John Kramer — Thu, 17 Feb 2011 23:18:39 +0000

BIG NEWS! They've just encouraged the Partners to email YouTube at Partner Support! THIS IS THE FIRST TIME they've ever said this!!! They've NEVER encouraged us to e-mail them before. Love this!!

The YouTube Partner Hub is another source they recommend, but in my experience the place is a mess with very little useful information. People whine there but rarely get answers.

Margaret: "Every time you spam, God Kills a kitten!" Best line of the day!!
They are announcing that they will be monetizing mobile views!! Super!

They are once again stating that they will not return the yellow SUBSCRIBE button and the Star Rankings. People keep begging them to do that.

A common problem with Partners is that they can't change their channel names and YouTube is telling us that it is too difficult for a ton of tech reasons to every do it. So when you start your channel, choose a name you can live with!

I just tweeted them a question: What is the Average Age of a YouTube Subscriber.

Now they are telling us to keep our videos clean. Advertisers don't want to put ads on content with lots of profanity. Bleep stuff out.

Live streaming will be free to Partners. Great News!

More advice on how to describe your videos: use RICH content, but don't lie. If your video is about cooking Salmon, give the recipe, use the word "salmon," etc.

Great idea: let Partners know what video people hit the SUBSCRIBE button after watching. They sound like this is the first time they've heard this one, but I've seen it mentioned dozens or times around the site and in the Partner forum.

Hard truth: ad revenue goes up and down through-out the year. Advertisers spend more during the Christmas season.

Now they're explaining why they don't answer a lot of their e-mails. They only answer ones that demand an answer from a human, otherwise you get an automated answer.

Again, "How do you become a Partner?" Answer: "Apply on the site."

More money questions and answers. They want us to make more money so they can make more money.
You can also be invited into the Partner Program if they notice that you're producing great content that gets lots of views -- because they want to make money and they don't put ads on non-partner content.

Funny, some of the panel didn't know that non-partners could enter this meeting. They may do something like that in the future, but its too hard right now.

If you want to be a Partner, you have to be a good citizen on YouTube. Only post content you own.

LAST question: What is the best way to grow your Channel? The Answer: WORK WORK WORK. The top partners work a lot, seven days a week, and its the hardest thing they've ever done.

Meeting is over! Applause!

Good stuff. I didn't learn too much that I didn't already know, but its great to get a feel for the personalities behind YouTube.

LIVE: Blogging The YouTube Partner's Meeting Online: Part Two

John Kramer — Thu, 17 Feb 2011 22:45:42 +0000

The goofy new age music YouTube was playing has ended at we're about to begin. I was invite to attend the meeting in San Francisco at YouTube headquarters but had to turn them down since I'm in Chicago.

Margaret (I met her in Chicago last spring, very nice and competent) the head of the program is speaking and introducing her team. Always nice to see the faces behind the site.

First question is about what it takes to be a YouTube Partner, and they're answering it with the same thing they have posted all over the site. Original content, be 18 or over, post a lot.

What does the future hold for YouTube Partners? They want to get into Live Streaming for Partners. They also want to "invest" in the Partners, perhaps giving out some cash to buy equipment.

A lot of Partners didn't like the changes in the HomePage last year, but YouTube is stating that viewers are staying on YouTube longer on the site with the new look. They are also stating that they make changes to the site based on date: numbers are king, but they also do surveys: which they claim tend to back up the numbers.

Now they're talking about the review process for Monetizaton and acknowledging that there are problems with it, but that the more information we give them on the video, the better. They are also stating that they have increased the number of people working in the Monetization process. (Interesting to me, but boring to most of you out there.)

Do top Partners get better treatment? They say not. We are all held to the same rules. Glad to hear that.

YouTube doesn't Flag videos. They let the users do it, and then they look at it and judge it according to their Guidelines. Not surprising since there are so many videos being uploaded.

How to make more money if you're a new partner? Make GREAT videos. Grow your subscriber base, but target your audience. Also, be sure to describe your videos in as much detail as possible. Their algorithms only look at words, so the more you give them the better.

Also, try to post on a schedule. (Very Hard to do when you work in Political Satire as do I!!)

LIVE: Blogging The YouTube Partner's Meeting Online: Part One

John Kramer — Thu, 17 Feb 2011 22:29:38 +0000

The YouTube Partner Meeting is about to begin online at http://www.youtube.com/user/youtube?blend=1&ob=4#p/u/0/T_wa5kV5_ek in case you're interested in joining in or visting YouTube once the meeting is over and they post the video on their Channel.
The purpose of this meeting is simple: YouTube is going to answer a bunch of questions which the YouTube Partners have sent to them on their YouTube Channel Page. I sent one myself, which simply asked why it takes so long sometimes for simple videos without any music or outside content in them to be approved for ad revenue (or as YouTube calls it, Monetization Approval.) That's one of the ways I make money off my videos. YouTube splits the ad revenue with the Partners -- some of whom make hundreds of thousands of dollars a year from it all (not me, unfortunately.)
The last Partner Meeting they did online was devoted entirely to the ad revenue settup and how to make the most of it -- and I have to say that most of what they were talking about made my eyes glaze over. Hopefully that won't happen today.
A lot of the questions that were sent in were incredibly stupid. Its amazing to me how many people never bother to read. Almost every question I saw has already been answered elsewhere on the site or in the Partner Agreement literature. And a ton of them were simple common sense things. People want YouTube to quit using ads on the site: so how do they expect them to make enough money to pay for the site expenses, which I'm sure are enormous.

Okay they're starting!

Mayor Daley's Legacy

John Kramer — Thu, 17 Feb 2011 03:08:59 +0000

Let me begin by saying that I'm not one of Richard M. Daley's biggest fans. My wife is a Chicago Public Schools teacher, and as such has been forced to work under a string of (what we shall politely call) knuckle-heads who have been tasked with running CPS over the years. Some have been better than others -- Paul Vallas comes to mind -- and others have been an absolute nightmare. So that's one of the things I'd say that Daley definitely fell down on the job at handling: Education.

I credit his wife, the wonderful Maggie Daley, for helping to turn Chicago into a much more beautiful city than it was before Daley took the reins. From all accounts it was she who was the driving force behind the mayoral throne where matters of city beautification were concerned. When friends of mine come to visit, their jaws usually drop when I tell them what used to exist where the amazing Millennium Park now sits: abandoned railway tracks and gravel lots. On a summer day when you stand in the beautiful park with its gardens and Band shell, looking out over the city and all the people joyfully visiting the Park, you can't help but pinch yourself when you realize that you're standing on a site that only a bit more than a decade previous, had been an empty lot just a step above a garbage dump. On Michigan Avenue. One the lakefront. A few short steps from the heart of one of the world's great city.

And then there's all the wrought iron fences and planters and flowers and trees that exist throughout the city where once only weeds thrived. The meridian on Lake Shore Drive had nothing more than a few scrawny trees and meager patches of grass on them which the cops used to park on while they waited for speeders. Now the North Bound and South Bound lanes are separated by miles of beautiful trees, flowers and ornamental grasses which the City does a fantastic job of tending too. They had to slow the speed limit down to 40 to help protect the plants from salt spray in the winter, but it was more than worth the inconvenience in my book.

I often drive home from work over the bridge crossing the Chicago Rive on North Avenue and marvel how beautiful the new bridge is (not to mention how much wider it it -- from two lanes to four!) And it lights up! And they can change the colors of the lights with the seasons, which may not sound like a big deal, but its really the sort of thing that lifts people's spirits and make them love Chicago.

But the last thing I'd like to thank Mayor Daley for doing -- and it may sound silly to folks who don't live here or venture into the neighborhoods where people park their cars in front of their homes -- is finally having the guts to crack down on the practice of using lawn chairs to hold parking spots during the winter. We just suffered through a terrible blizzard here a couple of weeks ago, and the customer here is to shovel your car out on the street and then put some piece of cheap furniture (like a lawn chair) into the spot you shoveled to call dibs on it. It sort of makes sense for a couple of days until most of the spots are shoveled out, but when a week, and then two weeks go by and people are still claiming those spots something really should be done about it. But for decades those chairs would stay out for weeks and weeks until the snow would be all gone -- and some people would still try to claim the spots as their own!

Until Mayor Daley, a few years back, finally put his foot down to say: Enough. And now that the City of Chicago has finished cleaning up the Garbage left behind from the Blizzard, they will be sending the Garbage trucks through the neighborhoods to collect all those lawn chairs and milk cartons still sitting in the streets, guarding against claim jumpers. Doing so may have cost Daley a few votes over the years (the sort of people who leave lawn chairs in those spots until May are the same sort of people who will be furious to find their lawn chairs are now in a City Garbage Truck) but I'm sure he's picked up just as many from people like myself who loathed the practice.

Thank You Mr. Mayor!

Where There's Smoke, There's John Boehner

John Kramer — Tue, 15 Feb 2011 23:14:39 +0000

Here’s something I don’t get. One of the ideals that Americans really embrace is simple fairness (unless you’re a Republican who believes paying 35% of your income when you make a million dollars year, hurts as much as paying 15% when you make 20 grand a year – cause who can get by on $650,000 anymore.)

But fairness is a goal that we’ll never actually realize in full, but that we’re always moving toward—like high-speed rail. They’ve had it for years in Europe and Asia, but despite what Obama says, we’ll probably never live to see it here. We used to have Jim Crow Laws and people with disabilities used to find it nearly impossible to get into public buildings, but now they don’t. And individuals who chose not to smoke used to have to put up with second hand smoke everywhere from Men’s Rooms to office buildings, but now they don’t.

In fact, the anti-tobacco zeal has spread to smokeless products, like chewing tobacco, and today I read that two US Senators, Dick Durbin and Frank Lautenberg, are pushing Major League Baseball to have the stuff ejected from the game. Because while you can’t smoke anywhere in the ballparks, the players are allowed to chew tobacco on the field, in the dugout, the locker rooms or anywhere else they want. But since the ball players are role models for kids, the Senators want them to kick the habit.

Then the Players can put all their energies into doing what they do best: getting bad tattoos and dating amateur porn stars like Kim Kardashian.

Which brings me to the Speaker of the House, John Boehner.
(Oh, come on, he spends as much time on his tan as Kim does and he probably cries more. And I’m convinced he uses eye-liner.)

But what he doesn’t do is live by the same set of rules that all Americans live by today. He works in the Capital building, which is just like any other large office building in the US -- except that its not nearly as productive – and he has a large office in which he is allowed to smoke. Because while no on in DC can smoke in public places, Congress makes its own rules and one of them is that members of the House and their staffs can smoke in their offices – because they can’t do the People’s business if they have to walk outside a few times a day.

Now, when she was Speaker, Nancy Pelosi had smoking banned from all public areas of the House. So wouldn’t it be nice if John Boehner one upped her and got rid of ALL smoking in the House. Then all members of Congress could stand outside in the cold winter air and deal with the dirty stares of the non-smokers walking past them.

Except for John Boehner who has this really large balcony outside his office where he can take a drag while all the little people walk down below him.

Bill Maher and Porn

John Kramer — Mon, 14 Feb 2011 23:19:54 +0000

The other Night on his show, "Real Time", Bill Maher chose to close the episode with an "editorial" about pornography -- which in and of itself is nothing surprising. You can see the video here (unless HBO has pulled it off YouTube):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w9omaFSGKTI

Now Bill Maher is a Libertarian, and as such is in favor of the legalization of everything from Pot to Porn -- but for a change he wasn't coming out in favor of a "sinful" activity, but against it; he's against married men using internet porn to masturbate with as opposed to actually having sex with their wives. And I have to admit that I actually did something of a double-take when I heard those words leaving his mouth.

He explained that he, too, once used to "jack-off" -- up to and through his college days -- but that once he tried the "real thing" he didn't have much desire to continue a relationship with porn. And then he went on admit that while there were no reliable statistics or studies on the topic, that he was convinced that most married men were masturbating to internet porn on a regular basis, and ignoring their wives in the process, adding that men were actually becoming addicted to the stuff, which was making it more and more difficult for them to get turned on by the real thing.

So when did Bill Maher become an expert on the sex lives of men in long term relationships, with either their wives or girlfriends? I'm a fan of his show, and his comedy, but where his personal life is concerned, I just find it difficult to look to him as any sort of a role model. He's not a normal guy. He's been a high profile entertainer and celebrity for far too many years to be able to set himself up as being in any way normal. He's like a guy who grew up changing tires on his bicycle trying to instruct an auto-mechanic on how to diagnose a problem with a car's anti-lock breaking system.

And if you do a littler research into his personal life, the first thing you come up with is that he's anti-marriage and a confirmed bachelor and that he dates super hot models and actresses who are decades younger than him. So, in other words, he doesn't need a computer to bring the world of porn and fantasy to his life. He goes to the Playboy Mansion 4 or 5 times a year. His sex life is completely off the charts where the "average" man is concerned -- and I have no problem with any of that.

But Bill, when you start telling "average men" how to manage their sex lives, you sound like an idiot. You exist on a different plane of being right now, so enjoy yourself while you can and stick to ranting against the government. At least in that instance, we're pretty much all in the same boat.

Why I Started Reviewing SNL Again

John Kramer — Sun, 13 Feb 2011 03:41:30 +0000

I Love SNL.

And I hate SNL.

You only have to look at Britethorn.com for a few seconds in order to get get some idea about how much I love Comedy, and Political Satire in particular. Which is why I love Saturday Night Live. When I was a kid . . .

and started watching the show as it burst upon the national scene back in the 70's, I fell in love with a kind of humor I had never seen before. Up until that point, I think the Smothers Brothers were the only major act that had been able to go on the air and really stretch the boundaries of Political Satire. Sure there were a lot of Stand-ups working clubs around the country, but for most of America they were unknown and unseen, never making it into movies or television where they could reach the national psyche. And the Smothers Brothers had a very short run, entering the airways at a time of controversy, war, and social upheaval when I far too many people were far too uncomfortable to see the pillars of their society challenged.

So The Smothers Brothers were canceled, a show called "Laugh In" came and went (some funny stuff, but they had the feel of corporate guys trying to act outrageous-- which is probably why it lasted for several seasons. It didn't really offend anyone,) and then out of nowhere "NBC's Saturday Night" appeared and the face of Comedy began to change forever. They did things on that show, they took risks, they pushed the envelope and occasionally failed gloriously in a way that no major network show had ever done. SNL did for America what Monty Python had done for the UK and there was no going back. Both countries might continue to spew forth mindless, boring comedies (and Jay Leno), but at least there was now an alternative where everyone in America who had a TV set could go on Saturday Night to see something different.

And boy was it different. You had to grow up watching TV in the 60's to really appreciate just how different the show was. They really were the "Not Ready For Primetime Players," because back then they would never have been able to get away with things like Dan Akroyd's Julia Child sketch, with him spurting fake blood out all over the set, or the Snake Handling O'Shea's sketch, or Gilda doing her Patti Smith impersonation. And that was the sort of stuff I was able to grow up on, and I've never forgotten the affect those shows had on me and my sense of humor.
I was fortunate enough to have gone to school with a kid names Marty Kaz, who's Dad, Fred Kaz was the Musical Director and Piano Player at The Second City in Chicago, where he had worked with Gilda, John Belushi, Dan Akroyd, Bill Murry and Brian Doyle-Murry, just to name a few. I was able to go to the main comedic source and watch the next generations of SNL heavy-hitters learn their craft and go on to further change American Comedy. And because I've had the opportunity to know so many of those heavy hitters that I've become as tough of an audience as I am today. When I like something I'll say so,and when I don't I'm never afraid to say that it didn't make me laugh.

I've met so many people over the years who think that celebrities (especially ones who are on TV and in the movies) actually glow. They think they are an evolved, almost god-like form of humanity, and as such should never be questioned. When they make mistakes (think Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan) they should be given every benefit of the doubt, as well as second, third and fourth chances. They really are like demi-gods to them. I remember having a discussion with a customer at the Second City once where I told him that Chris Farley's family would rather he had never gone into show business if they could have him back alive today -- and the guy looked at me like I was crazy. To him it was far better to live a few short years in the international lime-light, dying young, than to have a long, happy and prosperous life as a normal person.

Which isn't to say that I was right and he was wrong. People just value different things to different degrees -- just as many, many people never tire of saying that SNL sucks and isn't as good as it "used to be." And that's an idea that I'll never buy into. Sure the show goes through some bad periods (its in one now, I think) but it never fails to emerge again from that hole, looking around to see if it can see its shadow, and usually races forth into a new springtime for comedy.

Just look at what they did with the 2008 Presidential Campaign. Unbelievably brilliant material -- which is why I'm back after taking a year off. My hope is that now, as Spring approaches, they'll catch their stride again, see their shadow, and run with the next election cycle.
But BY GOD they need to suck it up and turn Sarah Palin over to someone beside Tina Fey. When Will Ferrell left they found a replacement for his George W. Bush, so I see no reason why Kristen Wiig can't take on the Palin mantle -- or my friend Shelly Gossman, who left Second City last year to join the SNL writing staff (I make it a point to try NOT to find out what she or any of the other writers I know have written for the show -- until a week or two later.) Why keep your best player/character on the bench?

Hosni Mubarak, Egypt & Dr. Seuss

John Kramer — Fri, 11 Feb 2011 20:27:06 +0000

Back in the seventies, just after Richard Nixon left office, Dr. Seuss did a Parody of his story, "Marvin K. Mooney Will You Please Go Now!" which was published in his friend, Art Buchwald's column( http://www.washingtonpost.com/... ) in the Washington Post.
It was entitled, "Richard M. Nixon Will You Please Go Now!" and I've never forgotten it. Seuss was great at pointing out some of the great truths in life which stare each of us in the face every day -- but which many of us forever fail to see. From Horton Hears a Who: "A person's a person no matter how small." From Green Eggs and Ham we learn to try new things, "I like green eggs and ham! I do! I like them, Sam-I-am!" And from "Marvin K Mooney," comes the message to know when to leave -- which is something that Hosni Mubarak appeared never to have learned.

He held on tightly to his power, and only when the books chronicling his downfall are written and published will we get some inkling of how and why he finally recognized the truth in the streets outside his palace doors. It was long, long past his time to go -- but now how many other pairs of dictators eyes will be trained on Egypt, watching and perhaps learning from the example of Mubarak. Already in states like Jordan, changes are being made to reflect the new reality in Middle Eastern streets. Democracy is being measured out in small doses, and perhaps that will be enough. But elsewhere, cell phones may suddenly set fire to a new Twitter storm and then who will be next?

The new Egyptian government, which will arise from the ashes left behind by Mubarak, will likely not be a replacement for his rubber stamp to American wishes. And in the long run, this may turn out to be a good thing. With Egypt no longer beholden to America, it could be that Israel will grow less sure of its security and finally face the harsh truths of the 21st Century, and the reality of the ever growing non-Jewish population explosion within its own borders. Then maybe a real, lasting peace will be reached with the Palestinians.

And perhaps the Oil economies of the region will finally begin to prepare their citizen -- men and women -- for the coming Oi-less World, in which people will be cherished as their greatest natural resource.

One can hope.

It's a new day in the Middle East and the world, and as for Hosni Mubarak, Dr. Suess said it best:
"And today the great Yertle, that Marvelous he,
Is King of the Mud. That is all he can see.
And the turtles, of course... all the turtles are free
As turtles and, maybe, all creatures should be"

Who Needs the Pentagon When We Have Twitter?

John Kramer — Thu, 10 Feb 2011 18:32:16 +0000

I loved when Sarah Palin finally broke the GOP silence on Egypt and claimed that President Obama has failed the "Three A.M. Test," because he wasn't able to anticipate events in Egypt and hadn't thrown Mubarak under a bus (or tank, as the case may be.) She is so incredibly laughable and unable to support the President on anything.
Because, after all, if she supports Obama on anything she'll be weakening her own hand as Leader of the Opposition a and possible 2012 Republican President Candidate. Lord knows she wouldn't want to have some footage of her supporting Barack Obama to come back and haunt her -- which is one of the reasons she has come to love Twitter so much. No matter how stupid her Tweets are, they just won't bite her in the ass the way video and audio of her saying these things would.
Take, for instance, her attacking the President for not having a "Steel Spine." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qK-g0ALU9HU She thinks he should be attacking groups like The Muslim Brotherhood while this revolution is going on -- something which would be incredibly stupid (in my opinion) for the US to do. The Muslim Brotherhood is a minor player in Egypt at the moment, and having Obama attack them would only elevate them in the eyes of a lot of people in the Middle East.
The US needs to keep on doing what its doing now: work behind the scenes to help support this revolution, keeping it peaceful, steering it toward a Democratic outcome that will ultimately be determined by the Egyptian people.
When I look at what's going on in the Middle-East right now, I can't help but wonder if we shouldn't be taking some of the Pentagon's budget and investing it in Twitter and subsidized cell phone service throughout these Dictatorships. For a revolution to truly take hold, it has to come from the people. Otherwise you have situations like Iraq and Afghanistan where the US gets stuck maintaining military support, at the cost of Billions of US Tax dollars, for decades to come.
What a pleasure it is to be watching these events unfold in Egypt without sign of any anti-American feeling.
I can't wait to see how Palin spins this as a disaster for America.

Does Wonder Woman Pole Dance?

John Kramer — Wed, 09 Feb 2011 21:50:40 +0000

YouTube and the Viral Video world are incredibly frustrating (yet challenging) arenas for creative souls to work in. What makes a video like HARRY POTTER POLE DANCING stand out? Okay, people love Cute girls dressed in Schoolgirl uniforms, Pole Dancing, Music and Harry Potter. But there are so many factors that go into a video going viral, that at times it makes me want to throw in the towel and go back to writing novels -- until I remember how daunting the Publishing World is! When you write a book you're at the mercy of a relatively small number of individuals (Agents and Editors) who you first have to convince to even take a look at the first page you've written, in the hope that you will magically have found someone who shares the same tastes in literature as you.
It's all about getting someone with some MEDIA power to see the video and like it. It can be some kid with 500,00 close friends on Faceboook, or an editor at the NYTimes, or someone who owns a popular, highly visited website, like my friend Steve Younis at The Superman Homepage (okay, the last one isn't THAT visited, or my Night League videos would have gone viral a long time ago.) The internet runs on a herd mentality, and there are sites now like YouTube Trends that keep track of which direction the herd is moving in. When you have an awesome little commercial like the Superbowl Volkswagen "The Force" spot (with the little kid in the Darth Vader costume) it helps to be a huger car manufacturer with a big ad budget and YouTube Partner Channel. Money absolutely will buy you views -- but it won't go viral unless its good.

If, on the other hand, you've got an amazing short film, music video, or even a cool vlog; getting it in front of people is getting harder and harder every day, even as the tools to create these works become more powerful and less expensive every year. But what's really, really cool is the democratization process that is occurring in the video world. As complicated as the rules are (they change almost every week) they are still open to pretty much everyone who can afford Flip video camera and an internet connection. You're not dependent on a handful of opinions to get your work seen. If you work hard enough, long enough, and have some LUCK, you have the potential to get your work seen by a world wide audience. But you've really got to want it and to be willing to put your heart and soul into what you do. And boy is it lonely sitting at the keyboard writing e-mails and YouTube messages, trying to get your work onto someone's radar. I

In my own case, I spent weeks trying to get people to watch my film, "Hit Men" a few years ago, but it never garnered more than a few thousand hits. Then one day I got an e-mail from Crackle.com asking me to submit it to their Short Film competition, which it went on to win ($15,000 and a Pitch Meeting at Columbia Studios.) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4LG79hp1ooc How they happened to stumble onto the film, I'll never know. But they never would have seen it without the internet, which is quickly supplanting all those Film Festivals as the place to get your work seen. Right now its only short films, but before too long I expect places like YouTube to start allowing much larger files to be hosted. And then, look out Sundance.

Just as an aside, I'm trying to get people to watch "Super Hero Rapping," with very little success. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MRVJMeJ1hzk Its one of the bet things I've ever done, but getting the right combination of subject, title, content, screen capture, search tags, social media interest, and on and on and on is far easier some days that others. I spent several months putting Super Hero Rapping together, as opposed to one of my SNL Reviews that I do in a few hours. But it's the SNL reviews that get the big traffic because people search for what they know. Not what they don't. Or maybe I should just have had Wonder Woman sing this in a short skirt while she pole danced. . . Hmmm? Does anyone out there have a pole I can borrow?

The Story behind "Super Hero Rapping."

John Kramer — Wed, 09 Feb 2011 04:59:49 +0000

Love the song? Buy it on iTunes Today! http://itunes.apple.com/us/album/super-hero-rapping/id419149927?i=419149...

In my wildest dreams I never expected to have co-created a Music Video -- with myself producing, writing (with Andrew) and editing the entire thing -- but here we are with the release of, "Super Hero Rapping." To give genius its credit, it was Andrew Thorp (Robin) who produced the ball which got this one rolling. We were up on a rooftop shooting several episodes of The Night League when Andrew and Cory Sylvester (Green Lantern) got cold and decided to take a walk in costume for some coffee. Knowing a good comedic opportunity when I see it, I gave the two one of my Flip cameras to shoot their travels. When they came back, they presented me with a lot of goofiness, including Andrew doing an improvised Super Hero Rap, which I knew immediately I wanted to turn into a music video.
Andrew spent the next few weeks writing some lyrics, which he then sang for me. I set them to music and then got down to the business of creating a music video out of it.
(Dedicated to the Memory of our friend, Joyce Sloan.)
Music and Lyrics by Andrew Thorp and John Kramer
Lil Robin and The Night League have just released their first Music Video, Super Hero Rapping, available right now on iTunes.
"Blocking knives, saving lives.
Here it comes kids.
What, say what say I'm a super hero rapping.
Kaw Kaw
What, say what say I'm a super hero rapping.
Kaw Kaw
Ask me for my autograph and I will start snapping,
And expressing my anger through my super hero rapping.
Kaw Kaw Kaw
What say what say I'm a super hero rapping.
What say what say I'm a super hero rapping.
Kaw Kaw Kaw
Now before you get all pump and try to impress these ladies
Don't forget about the Batmobile and Robin Mercedes.
I just got my permit and I'm cruising in Gotham,
And when I get my license the ladies I got them.
What say what say I'm a super hero rapping
What say what say I'm a super hero rapping
Kaw Kaw
All right, real funny, my boss is a bat.
He watched his parents die, lets see you deal with that.
Kaw Kaw Kaw
What say what say I'm a super hero rapping.
What say what say I'm a super hero rapping.
Make fun of my clothes and something 'bout to happen
Trying not to explode when I'm a super hero rapping.
What say what say I'm a super hero rapping
What say what say I'm a super hero rapping
Kaw Kaw
Go ahead Maskless and call me a Sidekick
And I'll sidekick your ass and I'll laugh in your face Dick.
And yah I've got tights on 'cause they're aerodynamic
The faster to save your Mom and show you my glove trick.
What say what say I'm a super hero rapping
What say what say I'm a super hero rapping
What say what say I'm a super hero rapping
What say what say I'm a super hero rapping
You meet us in an alley and I'll bet you'll be crapping
Off to save lives now 'cause now I'm done rapping.
That's a rap bro.
Little Robin out this peace.
Saving Lives, Kaw Kaw
Yah, That's a Robin sound B.
Peace

Sadly, after several months of working on the music and video, they all finished up on the day our friend Joyce Sloan, Producer Emeritus of The Second City, was laid to rest. After returning home from her memorial service, I posted "Super Hero Rapping," and dedicate it to her memory. We'll miss you, Joyce!

Groupon Fumbles the Superbowl

John Kramer — Mon, 07 Feb 2011 19:05:58 +0000

Groupon, Groupon, Groupon! What are we going to do with you? In it's 3 million dollar Superbowl ad buy, The Chicago based internet coupon seller violated the number one rule of advertising: Don't offend (piss off) the market you're trying to reach. The Timothy Bottoms spot, with the actor intoning about the plight of the Tibetan people living under Chinese rule, only to thrown them under a bus so he can extol the money he saved at a Himalayan restaurant, was jaw-droppingly offensive. I know the founder of Groupon, Andrew Mason, has a quirky sense of humor, but one of the big rules in comedy is: Know your audience. There are jokes we all tell day in and day out when we're with friends, family, co-workers and small groups which we would never dream of telling in front of a larger audience. If you know the people you're talking to and they know you, you can get away with a LOT more. It all has to do with Trust.

But when you're a brand new company which most people have never heard of and you're introducing yourself to the world for the first time, you can't afford to be offensive. If Groupon was an old company with a long, public history of philanthropy, they might possibly have pulled this off. I have more than ten friends who are working for Groupon at the moment. They were all recently hired to help handle the expected traffic on the phones the day after the Superbowl. The world was that they were expecting a million calls, but if they do manage to hit that number today, I don't think it will be the kind of million calls they were looking for.

More about this in today's NYTimes: http://dealbook.nytimes.com/2011/02/06/groupons-super-bowl-debut-raises-...

LIVE: Blogging The Superbowl Commercials Part 6

John Kramer — Mon, 07 Feb 2011 03:12:37 +0000

More Superbowl Commercials! Verizon does another spot for their new iPhone. Nothing special there. I don't even know why they're spending the money since they sold out the phones on the first day. The demand is there, guys. Trust me on this one.
Chevy did a forgettable spot for their Camero.
Loved the Terra Nova spot. Show looks like fun!
Sketchers with Kim Kardashian? Nice to know that tramps can sell shoes.
I'm rather surprised that there are still some decent commercials this late in the game. They usually show the least interesting stuff this late. I was surprised by the Trailer for "Limitless," which looked pretty interesting. An old science fiction plot line that I've never seen turned into a feature film: what if you had the full use of all your potential brain power?
Boy, Pittsburgh should change their name to Pissed Burg. They trailed the whole game and could never close the deal. Glad to know that there won't be any rapists getting Superbowl rings this year.

At the end of the game, the Thor and Captain America spots are still what I enjoyed the most, as short as they were.

Signing out now! Congrats to the Cheese Heads!

LIVE: Blogging The SUPERBOW COMMERCIALS 5

John Kramer — Mon, 07 Feb 2011 02:53:41 +0000

Green Bay just scored again! Here we go again! More SUPERBOWL COMMERCIALS!
Just watched the Rango spot and wasn't taken with it. Looks stupid.
Cars.com spots are okay, but nothing special.
Bud Light dog commercial was pretty run-of-the-mill. Haven't seen one Bud product spot that caught my attention. They usually have one or two spots that people are talking about on Monday -- but not today.
The Sonata Hybrid spot was okay.
The third Pepsi Max spot was pretty good. I didn't like the ones where people got hit in the head with cans.
I was writing while another CGI cartoon trailer was playing. This one had dancing birds in it. Genius -- not!
STEELERS SCORE! My wife is PISSED!! They scored 2 more! 28 to 25 and she is even more pissed.
Thank GOD. More commercials. Bridgestone did a very nice spot with a Beaver.
GoDaddy just played the SEX CARD. Danica Patrick wearing next to nothing telling you to look for more on their website. Too bad GoDaddy's web hosting is sub par.
Mercedes did a top notch spot for their new line up. They make some damn good looking cars! Made me forget the Chrysler spot.
Great House spot. Very funny. I love it when he throws his cane to the kid! I've only seen a few episodes of the show, but that spot has me thinking that I need to start looking for them online. FOX has done some fairly nice commercials for their lineup tonight. Too bad the network is owned by the Prince of Darkness.

LIVE: Blogging the Superbowl Commercials Part 4

John Kramer — Mon, 07 Feb 2011 02:19:29 +0000

Liked the Elantra spot
Timothy Bottoms? What was Groupon thinking? As I mentioned before, I have a lot of friends working at Groupon in Chicago and they've been lead to believe that their phones will be ringing off the hook on Monday morning, but after watching the companies Superbowl spot. . . There was nothing memorable about it at all --especially compared to the earlier commercial from their competition.

Best overall commercial so far would have to be the AMAZING Detroit spot for Chrysler starring the music and the man: EMINEM Just watching it made me want to buy a Chrysler for the first time in a LONG time. Really, really nice job,

Ooops. My wife wants to throw up because the Steelers are getting too close to the Packers! And she's mad at me because I don't understand or care.

One thing that always strikes me when watching the Superbowl is how many really mediocre commercials get aired during the broadcast. For the money that they spend, you'd think they'd get Oscar caliber films. Maybe these guys need to start watching MAD MEN.

I'm looking forward to the new Glee episode following the game, but the commercials for it have been pretty boring. I worry about Glee a lot. Its bad shows are beginning to outnumber its good ones, and I wonder if they're going to kill what was one of the most promising shows in years. Thank God for Jane Lynch.

Stella commercial was very clever, stylish and creative. I'm almost positive that the actor in it was my Second City friend, Dave Pasquesi. If it was him, they straightened his curly hair -- which makes a big difference. The other thing is that he ALWAYS smiles. When I saw him in Angels and Demons I had to go to IMBD to make sure it was him. Then I ran into him on his Vespa the next day and chatted with him about it. That grin of his transforms him. Again, great Stella spot!

LIVE: Blogging The Superbowl Commercials Part 3

John Kramer — Mon, 07 Feb 2011 01:46:40 +0000

LOVED the Black Eyed Peas SUPERBOWL Halftime show.
My wife was really taken with the Royal Caribbean Cruise spot. What a great tag line: I love February. After the Blizzards that have been hitting the country over and over this Winter, I'm sure a LOT of people would love to get on a boat today!

OOPS! Major skip-over on my part. I forgot to mention the Trailer for SUPER 8, the Spielberg/J.J. Abrams film while has enjoyed the same sort of security that was shown to the Manhattan Project. Nothing other than the title has been known about this film until tonight, and based on what was shown, I'd have to say that I can't wait to see it. It looks far more interesting that the Trailer for Transformers 3 that was shown earlier and that I also skipped over, mostly because I was so unimpressed by it -- which is saying a lot since I'm from Chicago and the Transformers were kicking the hell out the Loop in the trailer. I absolutely hated the first two films in this franchise.

I've been waiting for the Groupon spot. I have a LOT of friends who work for the company and they've told me that the company has a lot riding on it being successful. There was a commercial for one of their competitors earlier (the company was Social Coupons, or something like that) and I was quite taken with the spot, despite the fact that I can't remember its name.

Just as an aside, my wife is really enjoying the game. Green Bay may be dominating, but the Steelers won't give up. Yawn.

More commercials: Cars.com had a funny spot. More baby stuff from Etrade. I'm not a fan. Best Buy had a good one with Ozzie and the Bieber (I'm really getting sick of that kid.) I like the idea of a Buy Back Program, but wonder if Best Buy will actually do what they're advertising. I've been burnt by their extended warranty program once, and really don't trust the company -- although I did buy a new Cannon Camera from them yesterday -- oops!

LIVE: Blogging the Superbowl Commercials

John Kramer — Mon, 07 Feb 2011 01:18:35 +0000

More SUPERBOWL COMMERCIAL goodness!
I liked the Android "ready to play" spot. Very clever and the thumbs on the Google Android were very creepy and clever.
The two spots I was most looking for to tonight were the trailers for THOR and CAPTAIN AMERICA. Both were good, but just gave a taste of what the film were about. I like the look and feel of both of them, but I really wish they had been a bit longer.

The Star Ways Volkswagen commercial was extremely funny and made me more than a bit jealous that I hadn't filmed the thing myself.

Cowboys and Aliens looked okay, but nothing new there.

Black Eyed Peas just made the coolest entrance ever. I can't imagine what the people in the stadium are experiencing seeing that live. Lights and showmanship are incredible. WELL DONE!!

LIVE: Blogging Superbowl Commericals Part One

John Kramer — Mon, 07 Feb 2011 01:02:23 +0000

The SUPERBOWL so far (commercial wise.)
So far there hasn't been anything that really knocked my socks off. I didn't like the first Kung Fu Panda film, and I wasn't impressed by the new trailer for the sequel. The worst commercial, by far, was the GoDaddy spot with Joan Rivers. It made me was to hurl when they did the reveal (and my wife agreed.)
The best spot so far would have to be the amazing animation and story work in the Coke Dragons commercial. Nice story and BEAUTIFUL ANIMATION. Coke got their money's worth with that one!

The commercial for the Motorola Xoom (a tablet computer/iPad wannabe) was extremely well done, but was also extremely offensive to anyone who owns an iPod or and iPhone. It was a clear homage to one of the most famous commercials in Superbowl History: the Apple Mac 1984 spot which painted Microsoft as Big Brother and Apple as the alternative. Now Motorola is trying to do the same thing to Apple, a company which rose from near death to become the most valuable technology company in he world. I just wonder how everyone and their brother who owns a Mac or an iPod is going to take to being cast as automatons. From my perspective (I'm writing this on a MacBook Pro) Apple has gained its dominant position by proving excellent products in a world full of other choices. Microsoft, on the other hand, represented a computer vision with crappy, difficult to use machines and software in a world almost totally lacking in alternatives. Or, in other words, Apple is winning in a world full of innovation and competition, while Microsoft crushed everyone in its path before they could grown into a viable competitor. So I guess Motorola is going after everyone who wants to be different jut for the sake of being different.

Why I Hate Sports But Love the Superbowl

John Kramer — Sun, 06 Feb 2011 23:06:00 +0000

I've made no secret of the fact that I HATE SPORTS, but even I have to admit to having been seduced by the charm, spectacle and social necessity of watching the SUPERBOWL every year. If you don't tune into the broadcast you're likely to miss something that Everyone will be talking about the nxt day. Take, for example, the origin of the term, "wardrobe malfunction." Janet Jackson does a duet with Justin Timberlake, and the next thing you know she's popped out of her bra (with some help from TIMBERLAKE) and an enormous controversy erupts which threatens to destroy both their careers.

Isn't it interesting that Timberlake, who was being cast as the guy who ripped Janet Jackson's top off, has gone nowhere but up, up and even further up in his career since that Superbowl Sunday so many years ago. As for Janet Jackson. . . the last time I heard a peep out of her was when her brother Michael Jackson passed away. So if any clothes are to be torn away during tonight Half-time special performance by the BLACK EYED PEAS, it would probably be a good idea for Fergie to instigate a wardrobe malfunction with one of the guys in the band.

So yes, I'll be watching tonight -- but mostly because my wife get ribs for the occasion -- and I like to watch the SUPERBOWL COMMERCILS. If there happens to be a wardrobe malfunction; all the better!

DANA CARVEY Hosts SNL: But Why?

John Kramer — Sun, 06 Feb 2011 06:22:52 +0000

DANA CARVEY took on the role of Host for the Feb. 5th episode of Saturday Night Live, but other than his ability to drag Mike Myers onto the show (they did a tired update of their old Wayne's World bit skewering the Oscars, mostly at the expense of the film Winter's Bone -- get it, it's a Dick Joke) it was hard to tell exactly why SNL had asked him back to the show. Generally the Host of the show is there to promote a new film, series, or album, but as far as I can tell Dana Carvey hass been up to little more than some voice-over work and getting back into stand-up.

Which is not to say that I don't find Carvey funny. In fact, I think he's one of the most talented guys who've ever been on the show. His impersonations of George HW Bush and Ross Perot were some of the best spoofs the show has ever done. But for Carvey to do his best work, he needs good material -- which the writing staff failed to provide him with this week -- although the Regis and Kelly bit was fairly funny.

Things were so bad that they had to resort to bringing Justin Bieber onto the show for a short walk on and to appear in the week's Digital Short with Andy Samberg. The DIGITAL SHORTS are often the funniest thing on SNL, but this week was an exception. It was a one joke bit about JUSTIN BIEBER having a crazy room-mate at college (only funny because Bieber looks like he should be starting High School rather than college.)

John Lovitz also did a walk-on for nostalic purposes, which is okay, but I really wish they'd come up with some better material for the "old timers" when they bring them back.

But my biggest disapointment with the Dana Carvey episode of SNL was it's nearly complete lack of of political satire. I wish they would accept the fact that Tina Fey is too damn busy to show up more than once a season to do Sarah Palin, and just turn the role over to Kristen Wiig, who's more than capable of taking over the role. Sarah Palin is pure comedic gold and it's a shame that Saturday Night Live is failing to tap into that vein.