Last Tuesday, I went to an author event at Barnes & Noble Union Square. I was really stoked for the event because it was part of Nasty Gal founder Sophia Amoruso's book tour for the paperback version of her book, #Girlboss. I read the book in March, and I like to credit it as the reason I started this blog.

I used to blog pretty regularly, but life kind of got in the way. I got so wrapped up in trying to get my s*** together, that I forgot how much I enjoyed blogging. I never used to think of myself as a creative person, but I've realized that blogging is actually a great creative outlet (not to mention an awesome addition to my professional portfolio). I had considered starting a new blog for a long time, but for some reason, I just never seemed to actually sit down and do it. My website needed an overhaul, and my resume and LinkedIn definitely weren't updated.

It was late March 2015, and I was on my way to visit friends in New York City. I had just moved back to West Virginia from Florida to plan my move to New York. I quit my job without having another one lined up, I didn't have a place to live, I had no real plan, and I felt completely lost. I was hoping that my 10-day trip to the city would help put things into perspective. Since I was going to be on a train for 15 hours, I thought it would be the perfect opportunity to read #Girlboss. I won't say too much about the book, because you should read it yourself, but by the end of it, I knew I had to stop sitting around waiting for everything to fall into place and start making things happen. Within a week of reading #Girlboss, I had redesigned my website and written my first new blog post. 

I think the main reason I loved the book so much is that I can relate to Sophia Amoruso. I'm not the founder and CEO of a multi-million dollar company (yet), but I definitely felt a connection to her rebellious adolescence. I didn't take it quite as far as she did, but growing up (and still to an extent today) I hated everything mainstream, and I've always had a bit of a "stick it to the man" attitude. In #Girlboss, Amoruso talks about how she's grown, and about some of the mistakes she's made along the way, but she still seems to hold on to her punk roots. During the interview with Amy Astley last week, Amoruso referred to herself as a misfit. When they asked the audience how many of us considered ourselves misfits, I of course raised my hand.

Seeing Amoruso in person was definitely one of my favorite things I've done since moving to NYC. She's just...really cool. At one point, when talking about her employees' fashion, she said "Cleavage is cool, but don't have your boobs like hanging out." See? Cool. She also gave some great advice, like "Define what success means to you. Try not to live someone else's definition of success." That's something that I work on every day. A fan asked for advice on saving money / starting a business while living in an expensive place like New York City, and she responded, "Move out of the city...if you really want to build something, you have to take a step back sometimes." There is a lot more advice like this in her book. I have never been a fan of how-to or self-help books, and the great thing about #Girlboss is that it is neither of those. It feels more like you're having a conversation with Sophia, your friend who is telling you about her life and some awesome thing she did, while giving you a little bit of advice in case you decide you want to do something similar.

All of that being said, I do have one complaint. The interview was part of a promotional tour for the release of the paperback version of #Girlboss. There was a book signing during the event, but only for guests who had a paperback version of the book, along with the Barnes & Noble receipt. Amoruso would sign the hardcover copy, but only if you also bought the paperback. I'm not sure if this was her decision, the publisher's, or Barnes & Noble's, but it was highly annoying.  I live on a pretty strict budget, and spending money on a book that I already own is senseless and wasteful. I thought it kind of went against everything I got from #Girlboss. I understand that the point of the event was to sell books, but to those of us who had already bought, read, and loved the book, it was kind of a slap in the face.

I am annoyed, but there are no hard feelings, really. Even though I didn't actually get to meet Sophia Amoruso, I did enjoy seeing her in person and hearing more about what she has planned for the #Girlboss brand (I'm personally very excited for #Girlboss Radio). I also loved being around other women who were inspired by the book. A lot of the other attendees seemed to be interested in fashion, like Amoruso, but I think it's safe to assume that everyone was an aspiring #Girlboss. There were a couple of #Guybosses, but the women definitely outnumbered the men that night, which is a very refreshing change to what I'm used to.

Amy Astley, Editor in Chief of TeenVogue, interviewing Sophia Amoruso at Barnes & Noble Union Square

Make sure to check out the websites for #Girlboss and Nasty Gal for more information on the book, Sophia Amoruso, and the company. If you want to see some footage of the event, you can watch this video on my YouTube channel.

I’m a bit late on this post, given that the VMAs were a week ago, but I need to talk about this. I love the entertainment industry. I love it so much that I got a master’s in Entertainment Business so I could work in the industry. I do not, however, love where the industry is headed. I’m not worried about the drop in album sales, pirating, or even the explicitly violent or sexual content. I’m worried that our society has become more interested in celebrity gossip than the actual art being produced.

Celebrities have always pulled outrageous stunts at the MTV Video Music Awards. There was Howard Stern’s Fartman appearance in 1992, that time in 1999 when Diana Ross felt up Lil’ Kim , and they will never let us forget the infamous Kanye West - Taylor Swift debacle of 2009. So, needless to say, the VMAs always get people talking, and not just about music. Usually, even if I don’t watch the VMAs, I can tell you about the crazy antics as well as the amazing performances, and who awards. This year, however, I can only tell you about the crazy antics.

I completely forgot that it was VMA night until I got on Facebook and saw everyone talking about Miley Cyrus, the “feud” between her and Nicki Minaj, and Kanye West’s Presidential campaign announcement. I still don’t really know who performed at the award show, nor who won which awards. I can guess that Taylor Swift won video of the year, since she and Kanye West were apparently on stage together at some point. Who the f*** cares? Obviously a lot of people do, because that’s all anyone seemed to talk about. At what point did we stop caring about the music? Probably around the same time MTV stopped playing music videos and filled their roster with crappy reality TV. Am I the only one who is tired of hearing about Miley getting in a fight with Nicki, who got in a fight with Taylor, who got in a fight with Katy? Can y’all just shut up, make pop music, and move on?

I’m not asking for everything to be artistic and deep and meaningful. I love catchy, senseless pop music as much as the next guy (that’s not entirely true, I’m quite picky about my pop music, but for argument’s sake…). I am just asking you, my fellow music fans, to stop buying into this celebrity gossip crap. I want my MTV back. Sure, throwing in the occasional celebrity feud or nip slip will get people talking, and that's fine, but can the main focus just be the music? I don’t believe that my generation has changed so much in just a few short years that we really can’t go back to what we were doing before. I think Vevo proved that people still want to watch music videos, and I don’t think I have ever heard anyone say that people don’t want to see a live performance. I want to be able to watch an award show and be entertained. I want to be able to check my Yahoo email (yes, I still have Yahoo) without seeing the top news headline read, “Justin Bieber cries on stage.” We have too many major problems in the world to be worrying about Justin Bieber getting a little emotional.

So, I gave in and joined OkCupid. Just like when I joined Tinder (which you can read about here) I did it mostly out of curiosity. I’m in a new city, where I know quite a few people, but not a ton, and everyone keeps talking about okcupid. I work from home, so I don’t really get out much.

The whole online dating thing is really awkward. I don’t think anyone can disagree with that. If you have found a way to make it less awkward, please share. Even though Tinder is primarily used for hookups, the good thing about it is, no one can message you unless you “like” each other. Okcupid doesn’t work that way. Anyone can message you. I discovered that within 5 minutes of creating an account. The last few weeks have led to a lot of questions, confusion, sighs, eye rolls, and quite a few laughs…

What’s the point in having profiles if no one reads them?

The first message I got was from a couple. I’m not morally against open relationships or polyamory, but it’s not my thing. If you and your partner have agreed and that’s the kind of relationship you prefer, cool, you do you. However, I clearly state that I am a straight woman interested in a monogamous relationship with a man. Some people obviously didn’t read. Actually, a lot of people didn’t read.

I’m 25, almost 26. Listed on my profile is an age range for the men I would be interested in: 25 – 35. I have gotten countless messages from 19 – 22 year olds. Seriously? What would I even do with a 19 year-old? What would we talk about? Are you trying to use me to buy you alcohol? Have you ever even kissed a girl? Okay, that last one is probably a stretch, but you get the idea. At some point in life, age doesn’t matter so much, but we grow so much between 18 and 21, 21 and 23, 23 and 25…Please don’t message me if you’re under 25, maybe 24.

Everyone loves a compliment, but using one adjective to describe me is not going to give me much to talk about.

“Gorgeous.” “So cute.” “Super beautiful.” It’s really flattering to hear (or in this case, read) these things, but that doesn’t give me much to go on. What do I do, say thank you and then wait for you to say something else? Do I now have to give you a compliment too, or is a thank you sufficient? Is it now my job to come up with a topic when you are the one who initiated conversation?

And while we are on the subject of conversation…

Some of the messages I have gotten do not make any sense, and others are just funny. I got one message that read, “Its Saturday night its time.” I know I am being too critical, but bad grammar is an instant turn-off. Also, what does that mean? It’s time for what? Is that a reference to something that I just am not getting? Your water broke? It’s morphin’ time? Another guy asked me if I am paid by the app. Nice try. Someone else’s first message was to ask if I would be interested in a threesome (you can’t see me right now but I’m giving a major side eye).

Then we have the men who get snippy if you don’t respond. One guy called me a snob. Don’t get all butthurt because someone doesn’t want to talk to you. Do you know how many men I have messaged who just never answered? Too many to count. Did I get mad at them for not answering? No. They didn’t ask for me to message them nor indicate in any way that they were interested in me. That’s fine. They obviously were just not interested. Or maybe they have more important things to do than answer every single message they get from complete strangers.

What’s with all the tacos?

I have noticed a lot of usernames with the word “taco.” Do guys just really love tacos that much? Is that some sort of weird online dating thing that I’ve just totally missed? OH!!…as I am typing this, I think I have realized what it’s referencing. I’m actually really disappointed in myself for not getting this sooner. I mean, I say, “that’s what she said” at least once a day and laugh at really inappropriate jokes, so I definitely should have figured this out without asking. (If I’m way off on this, someone please tell me.)

If I “liked” him, and he “liked” me, why didn’t he respond?

So, there’s this whole business of “liking” someone. You view their profile, you hit “like” and it notifies you if they like you back. Sometimes I have a mutual like and I’ll send him a message. I try to talk about something I read in his profile or noticed in his pictures. Most of the guys never respond. I can’t tell you how many profiles say that they love when a woman messages first. Ok, well, I did that, and you “liked” me back, so why aren’t you responding? Do men have a secret turn-off list like what I’m talking about now? Would they be more inclined to answer if I said something dirty or creepy like the things some men say to me? Am I totally wasting my time with this?

I’m still kind of fascinated by the whole thing. Every day, I seem to have more questions and no answers to any of them. All of my friends have the same questions. I’m keeping a list, so stay tuned for more. In the meantime, if you can clarify any of the above, or have fun, crazy, interesting, weird, or creepy moments of your own, please, do tell.

Arepa from Caracas on Rockaway Beach

I recently posted on Facebook: “The best thing about New York City isn't Broadway, the skyscrapers, the parks, or the museums...it's the food.” God, the food in New York City. I love trying new food, but I haven’t always had an opportunity to do so. Growing up in West Virginia, I had a limited number of options, but now….Italian, Thai, Chinese, Venezuelan, Israeli. There’s so much to choose from, I don’t even know where to begin. And I can order online and have it delivered. WHAT?! GrubHub has become my best friend and my worst enemy (it’s super convenient, but I also spend way too much money on takeout). When I'm not ordering in, I'm out trying new restaurants...even though I should be saving money and cooking at home.

My favorite NYC restaurants (so far):

Retro Pizza – The first time I came to New York City, I knew I had to have a slice of pizza. You can find decent pizza just about anywhere, but my personal favorite (so far) is Retro Pizza in Astoria. You can see it briefly in my first vlog.

Shake Shack – of course. You haven’t lived until you’ve eaten there.

Bar Bolonat – I had never had Israeli food before eating there. Luckily, one of my friends had been to Israel and helped us order, and they had a ton of vegetarian options.

Caracas – Again, a new cuisine for me: arepas. I’ve been to the Rockaway and East Village locations and both are fantastic, but I would recommend Rockaway because, you know, beach. (You can see that one in vlog number 2!)

Dinosaur Bar-B-Que – I usually avoid barbecue joints because of the whole meat thing, but they had an amazing portobello sandwich. And the fried green tomatoes are a must.

Harlem Public – Fortunately, it’s within walking distance from my apartment. Unfortunately, it’s usually super busy. You might have to stand or wait a few minutes for a table, but it's totally worth it. Make sure you order the fried pickles.

I’m sure I will be adding to the list later, so stay tuned for more.

We planned on going to the 3:30 showing, but of course we were running late and got there around 3:20. My friend Noah was already there, and held a spot in line for us. When we got to the window, we were told that the 3:30 was sold out, but tickets were available for a 4:30 showing…and there was a line to get into the theater once tickets were purchased. So, we bought our $15 tickets and walked to the side of the theater to stand in the sun and wait to be let into the theater. Luckily, there were only a few people ahead of us in line so we were able to get seats fairly quickly once we were inside.

The 4:30 showing ended up also selling out. I’m curious to see what Trainwreck makes at the box office this weekend. I am not sure if the movie sold out because there were that many people who wanted to see it or because it wasn’t playing in every theater. Whatever the reason, the theater was packed. Side note: there was a woman there with her Chihuahua. In the theater. Why? Only in New York, I guess.

The movie takes place in New York City, and it was really strange watching it IN New York City. Most of the time when I watch a movie that takes place in NYC, I think, “wow. I want to live there.” Yesterday was the first time I watched a movie and thought, “wow. I live there.” It’s still surreal. Sometimes I forget that I live here. I went to a bar in Soho recently and could see Freedom Tower from my seat. I guess the excitement will wear off eventually, but I kind of hope it never does.

When we got to the theater, the 3:30 showing was sold out, so we had to buy tickets for 4:30 (I wrote about that experience here). The 4:30 showing ended up also selling out, so we were in a packed NYC theater. I spent nearly $15 for my ticket, stood outside in the heat for 40 minutes, and sat in an uncomfortably full movie theater just to watch this movie, and I would gladly do it all over again.

I won’t give away too much about the movie, but I will tell you a few things that stood out to me. It was surprisingly emotional. I cried several times (sometimes from laughing, but mostly because I’m a big baby). I’ve never seen Amy Schumer in anything serious, and her acting during serious scenes pleasantly surprised me. The movie also touched on social issues that we millenials take very seriously. In one scene, a nurse made a comment about being unable to treat his patient even though he was a doctor in his home country. Amy Schumer later states that gay people are simply people. The whole film centers around something that I personally relate to: a young, professional, single, female living in New York City.

My life is not quite as extreme as Amy’s, but the core of the plot is very similar to my life. I practically hyperventilate when people talk about getting married and having kids, my career is my primary focus, and I have always avoided getting seriously involved with anyone. Again, I don’t want to spoil anything, but there is a scene near the end of the movie when Amy reveals to her sister why she acts how she does – and I felt like I was listening to myself.

It was refreshing to watch a rom-com that wasn’t about a woman whose main concern was finding a man, and men can also appreciate the humor. If you’re looking for something to see at the movies soon, I highly recommend Trainwreck. You’ll basically be watching a toned-down version of my life. Minus the attractive doctor.

I’ve heard a lot of people talking about Tinder over the last year or so, but I never thought that it was something I would be interested in. If you read my previous post, you know that I am not really concerned about finding a significant other (I’m also not usually one to date casually). I have a lot of gay guy friends who told me about Grindr, and they explained that Tinder is sort of the straight equivalent. One night, shortly after moving to New York City, I got bored and a little curious and decided to download Tinder (I might also have been thinking about my ex at that moment and hoping to find a hot rebound). It’s been about 3 weeks since I started using the app, and I wanted to share some of my experiences, thoughts, advice, questions, etc….

Some of the guys are very clearly only interested in one thing, which I knew going into it, but if you can’t say anything more than “what are you doing tonight? …maybe we can meet up later… hurry up and figure it out…” I’m probably not going to give you that one thing you’re interested in. I can’t speak for every girl, but I need to feel like you are actually interested in me, or at least pretending to be. I also need to be reassured that you are not a serial killer, rapist, or totally catfishing. If we’ve been talking for a few hours, days, weeks, etc. then maybe we can talk about the next step. I understand the dangers associated with meeting strangers online, so I’m going to want to meet you in person first, and in a public place. Also, if you can’t get through a few conversations about my hobbies or interests, then I’m going to go ahead and assume that you don’t have the attention span to focus on other things like foreplay. Newsflash: girls very much enjoy and need foreplay.

I’ve had 40+ matches so far, and I have been the first to message most of them. I consider myself a feminist, so I have no problem making the first move, but I have been very surprised, and a little confused, by my experience so far. As of today, I have 46 matches. 5 of the guys messaged me first (one of them has a podcast and it is strictly a business discussion…so far. More to come on that later). 18 of them are still in limbo, meaning neither of us have sent a message. I messaged 21 of them first. 11 of them never responded to my initial message. 4 of them have kept some sort of conversation going. I’m not necessarily upset nor offended by the stats, it’s really just an observation, but if we matched, why not send a message? If you are waiting for the woman to make the first move, and she does, why not respond?

I’ve also noticed several businesses, vloggers, musicians, and artists promoting their work on Tinder. Is this a new way of advertising? I think I might have just found a great topic for another blog post…

Most of the men list their height in their descriptions. Am I the only woman who isn’t concerned with that? Sure, I have my dream man in mind…brown hair, blue eyes, beard, tattoos, 5’10” – 6’1”… have any of the guys that I have dated met all of that criteria? Hell no. Is the height thing really the first question/biggest concern women have? If the answer is yes, then gentlemen, you are talking to the wrong women. I promise you we are not all worried about petty things like that. If we are looking for a soul mate, then we won’t care how tall he is. If we are just looking for a one-night stand, his height is not what we’re going to be measuring….

I may or may not have had a few glasses of wine before writing this post, and got on Tinder as I wrote it. I caught myself getting in the habit of just swiping left, then almost immediately regretting it. Then I realized that I was swiping right on a few that I’m not sure I meant to. The other day, I got on for a few minutes while I was cooking dinner and accidentally burned my food. The lesson here: do not cook or drink while Tindering.

I don’t think I have had the app long enough to really record my experiences, but this is what I’ve discovered so far. I still can’t decide how I feel about the whole thing. I am new to the city, and even though I have friends here, I am very interested in meeting new people, whether it be romantic or totally platonic. I am sure I will have plenty of interesting stories if I continue to use Tinder. I will make sure to keep you posted. In the meantime, maybe I’ll start some Tinder experiments? Any ideas or suggestions? What would you like to see? What have you noticed/experienced? Let me know in the comments or Twitter!

"How’s Florida?"

"How is your mom handling your move?"

"Have you met any boys?"

Now, these weren’t girls my age asking because they wanted the dish on how hot the boys in Florida were. These were women one or two generations older, who probably expected that since everyone else was getting married and having babies, I would soon follow suit. I moved to Florida to get a master’s degree, not find a husband. Skip ahead 2 or 3 years to when I was planning my move to New York City. My mom’s friends asked, “Oh, is there a man in New York?” Many of my friends and co-workers in Florida thought the same thing.

People always ask if I am seeing anyone, and if I say “no,” they reassure me that I will find a good man someday. When I say that I don’t know if I want to have kids, they look at me like I murdered a puppy. I am not saying that I will never ever get married or have kids, but it is not my number one goal in life. It is not what motivates me to get up in the morning. I wear makeup because I think it's fun. I go out with friends, meet new people, and travel to new places because I want to experience life. I do not do those things because I want to find a husband. I am still barely scratching the surface of my career and my dreams, so marriage and kids are nowhere on my radar. Why is it appalling when a woman says she doesn’t want those things, but it is perfectly acceptable when a man says it?

I want, more than anything, to travel. I want to live in as many places as possible in my lifetime. I want to go backpacking through Europe. I want to learn a second, third, maybe fourth language. I want to go to rock concerts, and Comic-Con, and the Super Bowl. I want to find a career that I love. If, along the way, I meet someone I can enjoy those experiences with, great. If not, that’s great too. I chose that life over the house in the suburbs with the white picket fence and two-car garage. I am perfectly content with the choice I have made and the path I am following, because it is what I want. It was my choice. It might not be yours. Neither choice is right or wrong or better than the other, they are simply different.

My best friend is happily married to a wonderful man. They have an amazing little house that they worked on together. They have 2 adorable dogs, and will probably have kids in a few years. They have great jobs, go on vacation every summer, and are perfectly content. I cannot begin to explain how happy I am for her, but you could not pay me to trade lives with her, and I am sure she would say the same for me. Some people will live their lives differently than you, and that’s ok. Do not judge or pity them, just be happy for them. I’m sure they are happy for you when you find happiness. Stop assuming that every woman wants to be married. Stop assuming that every man does not. Stop making people feel bad if they don’t fit in the little box society tries to put us in. When Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt got divorced, the tabloids read, “Poor Jen,” as if her life was devoid of all meaning without a husband and children. In every interview I’ve watched and read, she appears to be pretty happy. People seem to think that women are single because they can’t find a decent man, but maybe some of us are single because we aren’t actually looking. 

Yesterday, my mom, sister, and I had a girls' day out. We grabbed a bite to eat, did some shopping, and saw a movie. I know it sounds like a stereotype, but I can say from personal experience that most girls, at least those I know, would probably go see Aloha or The Longest Ride, but we’re not like most girls. (I had to check IMDB just now to see what romantic, “girly” films are currently in theaters.) Instead, we chose to see Mad Max: Fury Road. My mom is a die-hard fan of the original Mad Max films, and doesn’t usually go for remakes, but we were able to convince her to go for the reboot. I was excited to see the movie from the first trailer, and boy did it exceed my expectations.

As I mentioned before, I’m not really your typical girly girl. Don’t get me wrong, I am girly; I think makeup is fun, my fingernails are always polished, and I love dresses, but I dig a lot of “boy” things too. Action films are no exception. Based on the title of the movie and the trailers I saw, I guessed that Mad Max: Fury Road would primarily focus on the lead character, Max, played by Tom Hardy, with Charlize Theron’s Imperator Furiosa being more of a sidekick and the wives being damsels in distress. I was so wrong. And I am not complaining. Not only was Furiosa a total badass, but the whole objective was to find a clan of WOMEN, who also turned out to be total badasses. The wives actually did something other than run around half naked and look pretty. They fought, worked on the vehicle, took turns standing watch. Did Hollywood actually make an action film that focused on women? When I first left the movie, my answer to that question was “YES!” Now, my answer is more, “Eh. Sort of.”

I loved the movie and the abundance of strong female characters, but would it have had as much success if it had been marketed differently? My sister and I had a debate yesterday about women in films – right before seeing Mad Max. We were discussing the lack of a Black Widow movie, and although I would love to see one, I really am not sure if it would be a success. Do men want to watch a female-led superhero movie? I don’t know. Would women go see it? Again, I don’t know. Most of the women I know really couldn’t care less about superheroes or action movies. My sister says her friends would want to watch it. She’s 8 years younger than I am, so maybe there is a difference because of the age group? Maybe I am just hanging with the wrong crowd? I have always bonded with guys because of our shared interests. I love superheroes, Star Wars, Star Trek, Lord of the Rings, etc. I’d rather watch Die Hard than A Walk to Remember. I can name a handful of girls I have known in my 25 years who would agree with me. I just cannot help but wonder, “If the posters and trailers for Mad Max: Fury Road had represented the female characters, if they had marketed it to clearly show that there were women fighting as much as, if not more than, the men, would men still have gone to see it? Would women who were not interested in the film decide to go?” It pains me to say it, but I think the answer to these questions is “no,” and I think they knew that. They marketed it to men because they thought that men would buy tickets, not women. They had to reach the demographic that would make them the most money. After all, that is the point.

Even with my unanswered questions, I still thoroughly enjoyed Mad Max: Fury Road, and would recommend it to anyone who loves action films. It was a little strange – I mean, what was with the nipple clamps? – but what post-apocalyptic story is complete without some quirkiness? It also gives me hope that Hollywood might be heading in the right direction when it comes to women. So maybe the marketing didn’t represent them very well, but they were there, and they kicked ass, so it’s a start.

The night before I officially gave up meat, my mom and I watched this really horrific documentary about KFC’s chicken supplier (I am not sure if KFC still buys chicken from that company. PETA still gives them a lot of grief, but I don’t really subscribe to all of that. I will touch more on this later.) The images I saw were highly disturbing, and the next morning, I still couldn’t bear the thought of actually eating chicken again. The idea to become a vegetarian had crossed my mind a few times, but I was an extremely picky eater and I was worried that I would not have enough options (especially being from a small town where vegetarianism is practically a sin). However, Sunday morning, my mom and I decided that we would give it a shot. We figured, “eh. If it doesn’t last, no big deal.” It is now 10 years later, and we are both still vegetarians.

The first few months were difficult. I was still apprehensive about trying certain foods, so I started running out of options. I ate a lot of pasta. A LOT of pasta. I also starting learning about food that was not “vegetarian-friendly” that I never would have guessed I would have to give up. Gelatin was a hard one for me. I’m still mourning the loss of Count Chocula. If you do not know why gelatin is a vegetarian no-no, I will let you look up that one (many people have yelled at me after telling them what gelatin is. Even though they asked, and I warned them.) At first I was not even slightly concerned about giving up gelatin. I hate Jell-O. Then I discovered that a lot of other food contains gelatin. Pop Tarts (except the unfrosted ones – weird), Starburst, some yogurt, most jellybeans, marshmallows, and up until recently, Skittles. When I found out that Skittles no longer contain gelatin, I was so happy I almost cried.

I was also surprised by how mean people were about my choice to become a vegetarian. I was 15, so I was still in high school. I grew up in West Virginia, and I went to school with a lot of people who hunted. My sophomore year, I had class with a few boys who hunted regularly. Deer season had just begun, which was treated like a national holiday. (No joke. I had teachers who excused students from class on the first day of deer season.) The boys found out that I was a vegetarian, so they decided to move from their regular seats to sit behind me and loudly discuss, in grave detail, their latest kills. I was not bothered by the talk about death and blood – at the time I wanted to study forensic science, so I was/am not easily grossed out. What bothered me about their discussion was the fact that they felt the need to taunt me, when I had never said anything negative about hunting. People also felt, and continue to feel, the need to tell me that “God put animals on this earth for us to eat.” I have read Genesis, and I know to what verse they are referring. I did not choose to become a vegetarian for religious reasons, so I have never understood why people bring the Bible into the discussion.

At one point while I was in school, vegetarianism was the new fad. My best friend, Katey, stopped eating meat shortly after I did, along with about a dozen other people. Some people lasted about a week, others maybe a year. Katey is the only one who is also still a vegetarian. My favorite people were those who said, “Oh, I’m a vegetarian too,” then two days later ate chicken at lunch. When I would call them out, they would say something like, “well, I eat chicken sometimes,” or “there’s nothing else in the lunch line.” If you don’t want to be a vegetarian, then don’t be a vegetarian. Who cares? I don’t.

Being a vegetarian is not for everyone, and I have nothing against people who choose to eat meat. My issue is with people who make an issue out of my choice to be a vegetarian. I will never criticize someone for eating meat, so please do not criticize me for not eating meat.

If you are reading this and you eat meat, you probably have some questions. I will go ahead and answer some of those for you, but if you have more, feel free to ask them in the comments…

The most common questions non-vegetarians ask:

Don’t you miss meat? Not even a little bit. I was never much of a meat-eater to begin with. I hate pork. I hate steak. I ate maybe one cheeseburger a year. I ate mostly chicken, and I don’t even miss that. If you really love meat, then you probably won’t last long as a vegetarian.

But how do you get protein? I have now started responding with, “how do YOU get protein?” People then look at me like I have just asked the dumbest question ever. Right. It is kind of a dumb question. A ton of foods contain protein – beans, nuts, spinach, and broccoli, to name a few. Meat is not the only source of protein.

Do you eat fish? Nope. Some people do, but they are known as pescetarians.

What about cheese? And eggs? I do eat cheese, milk, eggs, and other dairy products. People who choose not to eat dairy are vegan. I have not chosen such a strict diet. I really, really, really love cheese, and I am not willing to give up ice cream. Also, to anyone who thinks that I should not eat eggs because they are dead baby chickens, please go back to elementary school. The eggs we buy in stores are unfertilized, which means there was never a baby chicken.

Does it bother you when people eat meat in front of you? No. The smell of meat sometimes bothers me, but I don’t care if someone eats it in front of me. Most of my friends eat meat, and I have never dated a vegetarian, so my dinners would be very lonely if I couldn’t be around people eating meat.

Are you a PETA-lover? I understand what PETA is trying to accomplish, and I am a huge advocate of the fair treatment of animals, but PETA is a bit too radical for me.

Are you against hunting? No. The idea of sitting in the woods for hours waiting for an animal to possibly walk by so I can shoot it does not appeal to me, but if you enjoy it, have at it. I know of people who make deer jerky and donate it to homeless shelters. How can I be against something that could potentially feed homeless people?

Would you ever eat meat again? Never say never. I have no desire to eat meat, but that does not mean that I won’t change my mind in another 10 years.  If I ever would eat meat again, it would have to be fresh. Like, "we just slaughtered it out back this morning" fresh. Maybe that sounds weird coming from someone who doesn't even eat meat, but the junk they put in our meats, and food in general, is appalling.

I am still very happy with my choice to become a vegetarian. I am now much more open to trying new food because I was sort of forced to do so. I feel better physically than I did when I ate meat. People sometimes give me a hard time about it, but they will always find a reason to pick on others, so if it weren’t this it would be something else. Most people are just curious, though. At the very least, it makes for interesting conversation when I meet new people.

And I don't just eat salads. My dinner tonight will be this new veggie burger from my favorite meat-free frozen food maker, MorningStar Farms. 

I loved working at the Paramount. The experience taught me more than any college course did. Whenever someone asks me who my best supervisor has been, I always say Jenny. I have realized that I thrive on constructive criticism, and she was never afraid to provide that. She also made work fun. She has this charisma that’s just contagious. We’ve stayed in touch over the last few years (thank you, Facebook) and I was recently recruited for one of her projects.

She is a self-published author, and has written several how-to books, but dreams of writing a best selling novel. A few years ago, she was diagnosed with cancer. In typical Jenny fashion, she didn’t let the diagnosis stop her from working and she has maintained her positive attitude during chemo, radiation, and multiple surgeries. She recently learned that her cancer is now stage 4, so she decided it was time to write her novel. Her book, appropriately titled “Best. Selling. Novel,” is a collection of stories and experiences from her life – sort of a memoir.

Originally posted on Instagram. Follow me for more: brittnparsons

When she asked me to help promote her book, I knew it was the least I could do. I learned so many important lessons while working with her, such as how to promote a best selling novel, and I have continued to learn valuable life lessons even after leaving my internship. Her positive attitude and desire to help others is extremely powerful and inspiring. I have known several people who have been diagnosed with cancer, and it always amazes me how positive they are during the battle. My goal, of course, is to help her sell as many copies of her book as possible, but first I need to share her story. Jenny created a Facebook page for fans to share thoughts about the book as well as stories, videos, and photos from their own life experiences. Her goal is to not only make it a best seller, but to use the proceeds to create a cancer foundation – more information on that to come. Visit the Facebook and Amazon pages to read more about the book, share your stories, and buy a copy for yourself and/or a friend, and help us make Jenny’s book a true “Best. Selling. Novel.” 

Learn more about "Best. Selling. Novel." on:

Facebook

Amazon

I was recently the dumpee in a casual relationship. When we finally had “the talk,” it didn’t end the way I had hoped and expected it would. By the end of the conversation, we agreed to be friends. Although I truly do hope to be friends with him in the future, I know for my sake, it isn’t a good idea. I think at some point, hopefully sooner rather than later, I will get over my heartbreak and be able to be friends. In order to really get over someone, though, you need closure. That usually includes time apart. Now, it is usually easy to avoid spending time together, but in today’s digital age, it is not as easy to totally avoid that person you just broke up with.

I was friends with my ex on Facebook and SnapChat. I also followed him on Instagram and Twitter. So, every time I logged on, there was a chance he would show up in my feed. I log into Facebook for my morning updates, *boom*, my ex shared a funny cat video. I scroll through Instagram, *pow*, a photo of my ex riding a bike. I watch the day’s SnapChat stories, *bam*, my ex is at a bar, and there is a hot girl with him. None of the previously mentioned scenarios are good for someone who is experiencing heartache. Being constantly reminded of your ex will not help you get over him or her.

When another relationship ended a couple of years ago, I had a hard time getting over my ex because his roommate and I were good friends, and I saw my ex a lot. My friends always wanted to go to their house because they had a pool and a lot more space for hosting guests. Less than a week after we broke up, I went to the movies with my friends and my ex. Over the next few months, I saw my ex almost once a week. He still flirted with me, and I found out later that people thought we were still dating because of the way we acted when we were together. I had a difficult time moving on from the relationship because I was still with my ex frequently. Once he moved away and I didn’t see him all the time, I was able to heal and move forward. I quickly got to a point where I did not want to be with him anymore, and I think that I needed that space from the start.

It’s the same with social media. Even if you don’t see your ex face-to-face every day, you are still reminded of him/her. When you are recovering from a breakup, you need time away from that person to heal. I decided not to delete my ex on Facebook, because I do genuinely hope that I can someday be friends. I did, however, unfollow him, so that his updates don't show up on my feed. I also unfollowed him on Instagram and Twitter. If you just broke up with someone, seriously consider disconnecting with them on social media. You’ll be able to focus on mending your broken heart, and maybe even reach the coveted “I’m still friends with my ex. No, really, it’s not weird” phase.

I also hate Facebook. I hate constantly seeing people putting other people down. I hate that I can be found by estranged family members, who I reluctantly add only to later delete because of unnecessary drama. I hate feeling like all of the other people my age have everything together, while I sometimes feel like I have no idea where I am going or how to get there. I hate how easy it is to get absorbed in someone else’s life and forget about my own.

Last week, I deactivated my Facebook. This isn’t the first time, and I am sure it won’t be the last, but I needed a break. Do you ever have those moments where you have so much you need to do, that you would just rather forget about all of it and do nothing? I was having one of those moments, and Facebook was the perfect distraction. Every time I opened my browser to start a job search, check my email, or write a blog post, I ended up on Facebook. I had too many other important things to do with my time, and I was feeling really down about some of the things I saw people post, so I said, “Goodbye, Facebook.”

This is what I learned in 7 days without Facebook.

• People interact with me primarily to share links on my timeline. About 30 minutes after I deactivated my account, I got a text from my friend Anthony, who wanted to send me a Tubmlr link. The next evening, I received another text from my friend Claire who questioned what happened to my Facebook because she wanted to send me a BuzzFeed quiz.
• Social media is a huge part of my life. I use Snapchat, Instagram, and Twitter regularly, but when I didn’t have access to Facebook, I spent noticeably more time than usual on the other platforms.
• You shouldn’t message people about an apartment and then delete your Facebook 2 days later. Yes, I did this. No, I didn’t realize it until the morning we were supposed to Skype. Luckily she already had my Skype username and was really cool about it.
• It's difficult to avoid Facebook. I was doing research for work, and inadvertently ended up on several businesses’ Facebook pages. I wasn’t automatically logged in, but I was tempted to reactivate my account. Almost daily, people ask questions like, “Did you see that picture so-and-so posted on Facebook?”
• I rely on Facebook more than I should. There were a few times when I wanted to find a particular picture that I didn’t have on my phone, but had on my Facebook. I never worry about remembering people’s birthdays because Facebook will do it for me (I’m sure I’m not the only one). Also, the majority of my other accounts are linked to Facebook (Spotify, Pinterest, etc).
• I have no willpower. After 6 days without Facebook, I reactivated my account. After about 30 seconds, I deactivated my account.
• Facebook is not as exciting as I thought. I’m back online now, and I feel like I didn’t really miss anything.

Even though I only avoided one platform, it was extremely refreshing to cut back on social media for a while. Like I said earlier, I don’t think I will ever get rid of social media completely because I think it has its benefits. I do, however, think I need to cut back a bit, and I think you should too.

Have you ever done a Facebook cleanse? Let me know what you experienced below!

Friend: “What’s the number one thing you have to do while you’re in New York?”

Me: “Get a slice of pizza.”

My number 2 was get a bagel, but I refrained from saying that and tried to take the question a little more seriously, and said something like the Statue of Liberty or Central Park. I was only there for about 3 days, and I was certain it was impossible to do everything in such a short amount of time. Planning a trip to a city as large and touristy as New York City can be kind of overwhelming. Luckily, my friend made an itinerary that fit in just about every tourist destination. (You can see the full list at the bottom of this post. Hopefully it will be a good guide if you need some ideas for your trip.)

I flew into LaGuardia Airport on Thursday. My flight was delayed, so by the time I got to my friend’s house, it was already 8:30 pm. We went to Times Square, where I got the slice of pizza I wanted, and then walked around midtown Manhattan. I got up super early on Friday morning and got tickets for a Broadway show later that night. I had to stand in line at the TKTS booth for a while, but it was totally worth it because I was able to get my ticket for about half of what it would have cost online. I went to the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island, walked some more, then went to “Pippin” on Broadway. I was out until probably 3 or 4 am, and got up early again on Saturday morning.

After breakfast, I went to Central Park and the Met before walking the Brooklyn Bridge. Warning: the Brooklyn Bridge has an amazing view of the city, but it is extremely crowded, or at least it was in July. I had Shake Shack for lunch, which I talked about for months because it is so amazing. At some point I had to get bandages for the backs my feet because I was getting blisters (wearing Chuck Taylors might have been a bad idea). I stayed out late again, but Sunday I got to sleep in until 9 or 10. I flew out Sunday evening around 7 pm, so I spent the morning in Flushing, followed by Coney Island and a couple of parks. I then had to run, almost literally, back to Times Square to get an “ I <3 NY” shirt, because no first-time trip to the Big Apple is complete without one.

By the time I got home Sunday night, I was exhausted. I barely slept the whole time I was in New York because I was trying to fit in as much as possible in a short amount of time. Plus, there is a lot of walking, and “a lot” is an understatement. I planned my trip so that I would have a long weekend, but I had to go to work Monday morning. As tired as I was, I was so glad that I had such a busy trip. I got to see and do more in about 3 days than I thought I could in a week. Even after the blisters, I was (and still am) in love with New York City.

If you want to see everything I did on my first trip to New York City, see my full itinerary below. Use it as a guide, or copy it exactly, I don’t care! If you find it useful, or if you have ideas of things to do on a short trip, let me know in the comments.

Thursday

• Times Square
• Bryant Park
• Grand Central Terminal
• Hudson River/USS Intrepid

Friday

• Brooklyn Bagels & Coffee Co, Astoria, Queens
• Wall Street
• Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island
• China Town
• Little Italy
• SoHo
• “Pippin” on Broadway
• Lower East Side for drinks

Saturday

• FAO Schwartz
• Central Park
• The Metropolitan Museum of Art (Met)
• Shake Shack
• Insomnia cookies
• Brooklyn Bridge/Brooklyn Bridge Park
• Rockwood Music Hall

Sunday

• Massages and lunch in Flushing
• Coney Island
• Washington Square Park
• Union Square

Job hunting is a lot like dating. You spend all of your energy making yourself look good and playing up all of your best qualities. You wait not-so-patiently for the right one. Sometimes you feel like you found a fit, but the other party disagrees. Sometimes it's the other way around. To find a potential significant other, you go to bars or parties. To find a potential employer or business prospect, you go to career fairs or workshops. 

I have always sucked at dating. I am beginning to realize that I also suck at job hunting. I decided a long time ago not to chase men, but to be patient, be myself, and go with the flow as much as possible (which definitely isn't easy). Instead of worrying about being single, I focus on doing what I love and try to keep myself busy. If I find someone along the way, awesome. If not, oh well. Either way, I still get to enjoy living life. I am now going to take a similar approach to finding the perfect job. People say that you fall in love when you least expect it - usually just when you have decided that you don't want a relationship at all. I don't expect that I will wake up tomorrow and magically have 50 interview requests without putting forth any effort, but sitting around waiting for the phone to ring will not help. I am going to spend my time writing, reading, networking, and working hard to become the perfect employee, even if I don't have the job yet.