Broccoli Parachute Soup

If I had a nickel for every time I had a dollar, I would lose so much money

2010-10-06T01:18:00.015-04:00

IT'S A PUZZLE PICTURE FIND OF SOME SORT
Click on the picture.
Q: Can you find:
-a toothbrush
-a dolphin
-a pair of scissors
-Leonard Nimoy
-a fire truck

A: No, you cannot find any of those things.

Perhaps...perhaps I ought to have actually drawn those things in the picture. I will make a note of that. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, this is a thing I like to call "learning from experience".

On a more serious note, here is a question for you to ponder: is that dog about to fight the gun-toting dinosaur, or is he threatening the can of corn? Could it be that he is focusing on the can of corn to distract himself from the larger threat, the dinosaur? Could it be, in fact, that I just didn't space things out on the page the way I meant to? WE MAY NEVER KNOW.

The computer I'm using right now tells me that it has 38 minutes of battery left, and then a few minutes later it says it has 42 minutes left. Yes, my friends, we have finally entered the era of wirelessly charging magic computers. And may I just say...IT'S ABOUT TIME.

Difficult to read, but too heartwarming not to share

2010-09-25T13:32:00.021-04:00

Do you guys remember the Berenstain Bears? Well, my little sister TJ wrote her own contribution to the series and mailed it to me. It's a little bit hard to read because she drew it in pencil, so I've typed out the storyline for easier reading, and you can click to zoom in.

The Berenstain Bears Discover their Ability (First Time Books) by Tabitha Smelser

Yes, Sister Bear is definitely holding a knife.

The Berenstain Bears DISCOVER THEIR ABILITY

When the bears find out
about the great food chain,
searching for food
becomes less of a pain.

Remember those rhymes that were always at the beginning of the book? Awww.

One day, brother was reading about the food chain.

He saw a chart & was so surprised he dropped the book! He told mama & She had a family meeting.
The chart says "Bears eat->Rabbits eat->Grass"

"We're going to start eating our friends," she said, "I'm tired of cooking."
That rabbit is definitely crying. Look how serene the bears look!

"I killed and ate Mr. Squirrel today!" said sister. "Great job," said Papa, "Your mother & I are proud!" "It is so fun to maul our friends like bears are supposed to!" said sister.

Awwww, learnin' life's lessons.

And now the bears enjoy a wonderful life of animal-slaughter! THE END

I love their placid facial expressions.

P.S. The drawings are not supposed to be top-knotch[sic]. I wasn't trying to make this look just like the book. Hope you like it! Love, Tabitha

Actually, I think that does look an awful lot like the real books. This still brings a tear to my eye...wait, no, I just have a bug in my eye, and one of my roommates just blew up an onion in the microwave.

Why would there ever be a need for a walrus-related charity? I don't know, but it sounds important.

2010-08-10T23:07:00.005-04:00

There isn't a comic today; my dog ate my homework. I mean, it ate my comics.
Wait, I don't have a dog.
My...my aunt's pet tarantula ate my comics. True* story.
So, instead, we have something more important. I'd like to give a shout-out to one of my favorite non-profit (or is it non-existent?) organizations: the Sunshine Walrus Association. For more information on what the Sunshine Walrus Association does, talk to a walrus near you or go to your local S.W.A. chapter.

The more you know.

This ad was brought to you by the Facebook graffiti app.
And also by the Sunshine Walrus Association, I guess.
It's also brought to you by the letter 5 and the number J.**

*False
**Number? Letter?

...then you shoulda...

2010-08-07T10:06:00.014-04:00

Today is Friday, right?

They really need to have a button for that on Facebook. It is the logical progression, after all.

And now for something completely different...

This is a painting I made a few years back. It's called "Clown Moon" (acrylic on cardboard). If you look closely, you can see one of my ears in the top right corner of the photo.
I...I'm not sure why I made this painting. Frankly, it causes me to fear for my admittedly feeble sanity. Can you imagine how terrifying it would be to look up and see this in the night sky? *shudder*

Have you guys noticed that lately the twitter homepage is nothing but people with "Bieber" in their username and a picture of Justin Bieber as their avatar?

No?

...Um, yeah, me neither.

TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES

2010-08-05T00:32:00.010-04:00

No comic today! The scanner isn't working. Say hello to Harvey, the technical difficulties fish! He's had some difficulties in his own life, such as being shot with arrows, but he always puts a positive spin on things, don't you Harvey?
...Harvey?
SPEAK TO ME, HARVEY! ARE YOU OK

*ahem*
Today was a day of poor clothing choices. I was wearing two shoes that didn't match, bright white pants, a bright white shirt with bright white snap buttons, and white shutter shades. See, I didn't do a good job packing my clothes this week. The kids walking around on campus said I looked like Justin Timberlake. Maybe Justin Timberlake makes poor clothing choices too, I don't know.

P.S.: Friday = double update

Historical Fiction

2010-08-02T23:51:00.007-04:00

My brother isn't really a magic duck, though. I guess I made that part up.
This moving tale has appeared before, in the form of a story I made up for my two year old niece Leila earlier this summer. She liked it, but she was not as fond of the bedtime story I made up, titled "Batman and the Pizza". I believe her response to that particular story was, "I'm going to sleep now, Uncle Adam."
A question for your consideration: who would win in a fight, Santa Claus or Richard Nixon?

Introducing...a dinosaur with a gun.

2010-08-01T23:56:00.004-04:00

Extra comic numero dos! You can expect to see this dinosaur again in the future.
You would not believe how difficult it can be to find a pen or pencil in my house.
Typical contents of pencil holder:
-Highlighter
-Screwdriver
-Mechanical crayon
-Paintbrush
-Invisible ink pen

Incredible, only in the sense that they are not credible

2010-08-01T01:20:00.009-04:00

BONUS UPDATE NUMERO UNO
Click to zoom in.
I need to do something about my scanner. Also my pens, and my paper.
That's all for tonight, but I'll leave you with a thought question: should toast be allowed to vote? Discuss.

IS THIS:a man being eaten by a bear?a man being regurgitated by a bear?a man in a bear costume?

2010-07-30T23:52:00.007-04:00

Is this: a comic? Well, strictly speaking, no.
Tune in next week- it's gonna be comics time, full force.
Man, both of my posts so far are about bears. Well, that's ok, because bears are important.
Talk to your kids about bears, before someone else does.

The more you know

This picture is a metaphor.

2010-06-29T12:06:00.018-04:00

See, it's a metaphor.

*EDIT*
Ok guys, I looked up "metaphor" in the dictionary, and it turns out I was way off. This picture is a bear with a cake.