Wanna be a Broke-Ass of the Week? Holler at us here and we’ll send you the questionnaire.

Our Broke-Ass of the Week this time around is singer/songwriter Justin Farren. Apparently the dude is good with his hands. He built his own house and the engine in his truck! I on the other hand can’t even build stuff with Legos.  Justin is playing Monday the 28th at the Acoustic Bistro event being put on by former BA of the week KC Turner. Should be a rad show! Let’s see what Justin has to say:

Name: Justin Farren

Age: 29

Occupation: Musician

What neighborhood do you live in?: Oak Park, Sacramento

What are you listening to these days?: Simon and Garfunkel, Greg Brown, Chris Smither, The Refreshments

Best money saving tip: Learn how to fix everything yourself.

What do you refuse to spend money on?: Parking

Most expensive thing you’ve ever bought: I bought all the materials to build a house. It cost $50,000.

How’d that feel?: Terrifying

Favorite cheap eat: Bananas. Really… they’re 25 cents.

Favorite dive bar: I don’t spend lots of time at dive bars. But, the one that comes to mind is the Press Club here in Sacramento. They’ve got cheap PBR and you never know what you’ll find in the bathroom.

Best deal you’ve ever gotten: A really nice guy gave me an awesome acoustic guitar for free.

Favorite free thing to do: It.

If you woke up a millionaire, what’s the first thing you’d buy?: Breakfast.

Despite not having money, do you still love your life?: Yes. It’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.

Do you own my book?: No.

Best hangover cure: It’s more preventative, but being a true broke ass, I rarely have enough money to get drunk enough to be hung-over.

Are you a hipster?: No.

I’m shocked no one has talked about this yet, but it’s high time we discussed drinking at home in more depth. Getting hammered in bars is all well and good, especially if you can get someone else to buy your drinks. But then you always end up owing somebody something. So clearly the way to save money — and make friends! — is by boozin’ it up at your place. In this first weekly installment of a series of five, we’ll start by building you a basic liquor cabinet.

Bar Basics

First, know when to be spendy and when to be thrifty. If you primarily want to make mixed drinks, there’s no need to go top-shelf. However, if you like to sip on a snifter of brandy or a neat bourbon, don’t take your chances on those no-name liquors. Bottles of decent booze seem a bit pricey, but you’ll feel better when you think about how much you’re saving (one Captain and Coke at home costs less than $1, whereas it’s $4 at the bar in the best-case scenario). Finally, if you have friends of means, consider throwing a liquor party: You provide beer, wine, and munchies, and everyone else must bring a bottle of their favorite alcoholic libation. Here’s what you’ll need before you can start calling it a home bar:

• Vodka: Trader Joe’s sells a huge bottle of something called “Vodka of the Gods” for $10, and since nobody (in their right mind) drinks straight vodka, it doesn’t matter what you buy.
• Gin: I’m not a big gin drinker, but it’s helpful to have some Tanqueray or Bombay Sapphire around for any old, English gentlemen you might entertain.
• Rum: A white rum, like Bacardi, and a spiced rum, such as Captain Morgan, should meet most of your rum needs.
• Whisky: This broad category technically also includes bourbons and scotches. In my opinion, the best whisky to cover all your bases is Jameson. It’s also not too expensive: $20 for a normal-sized bottle.
• Tequila: Everybody knows tequila turns you into a screaming, punching, crying nightmare, so maybe get a lower-quality one, such as Jose Cuervo, expressly for making margaritas.
• Triple sec: Also great in margaritas, any ol’ brand of triple sec will add that orangey flavor to your drinks.
• Schnapps: Mmm, schnapps. Peach appears in drink recipes most often, but consider picking up a few other flavors depending on your personal preferences.
• Other liqueurs: You can get as many or as few as you like. Think about what you tend to order when you’re at the bar: Fernet? Jägermeister? Goldschläger? Stores sell any number of disgusting things!
• Beer and wine: Dude, you know what to do. Get a 12-pack of lager to keep on hand to satiate almost any guest. Drop a few bones on a bottle each of chardonnay and cabernet sauvignon that you’ll probably never drink, too. Can’t be too prepared!

Next time: Tools of the trade

Image courtesy of Association for Psychological Science

I like to believe that I maintain a serene nature. If I don’t like something, I choose to stay away from it and refuse to talk about it in a negative manner. However, there are three things in this world that I truly despise. I don’t like to hate anything, because I believe I have no reason to assign a vast amount of negative energy to any one thing, person or entity, but these three things have given me reason to want to expunge them or the idea of them, from utter existence.

1. Bees – I’m too angry to rationalize or look up their importance within the ecosystem, but I’d wipe these motherfuckers off the face of this planet. Stay in your lane, bees. If I’m not bothering you, stay the fuck away from me!!! I still remember when one of your brethren decided to back his ass up into my finger. I didn’t even do anything. I was just innocently sitting outside, playing with my bootleg Power Ranger. Grrrrr.
2. The Asshole That Can’t Agree To Disagree – I have my own beliefs. I have my own opinions. I like what I like. I can make a reasonable argument about these three issues, but I also realize that other people have their own beliefs, opinions and loves. I can’t and will not attempt to change one’s perceptions, but I will offer my point of view and why I believe or love what I do. I feel that we don’t all have to believe, think and love the same things in order to co-exist; we just need to understand one another’s differences. So why are there still people out here trying to force their religion, political views and lifestyle down our throats? I think the next time I come across one of these hideous inbreeds, I’m going to take George Carlin’s advice, and when some asshole says, “I have a right to my opinion,” I’ll respond with Carlin’s rebuttal: “Oh, yeah? Well, I have a right to my opinion, and my opinion is you have no right to your opinion.” But instead of simply shooting the person dead, I think I’ll just kidnap them, tie them up and fart in their face until they pass out.
3. The Dentist – I’ve never had a cavity. I’ve never had a serious dental procedure done. In fact, the biggest complaint that I’ve gotten was about a little plaque. I take this shit seriously. A simple dental cleaning is the most torturous course of action that I have ever endured. I’ll admit it, I’ve cried. There’s no shame in it. I’ll tell you this, though, I bet you’ve also shitted your pants at the sight of those needles or power drills. I’ll be honest, I’d rather go blind. I go to the optometrist and if something’s wrong, he hands me a pair new glasses. I go to the dentist and if something’s wrong, he sticks a seven-inch syringe into my gums, before he begins ripping teeth out of my jawbone. To all dentists: I hope you all swallow razor blades and you lose all your money.

For the most part, I can avoid two of the three things I hate, but I can’t avoid the dentist. It’s recommended you get a checkup every six months. I try to avoid these things as best as possible, and yet, it would be bad for my dental health. I knew I was due for my next checkup soon, but I consciously made an effort to ignore it. That is until Mother Minimum Wage had her way.

As you can see, mother knows best. Still, I hate the dentist. I hate the office; I hate their willingness to bring me back for my next appointment after I’ve been practically face-fucked by sharp and irritating utensils. I hate that when you gargle they only give you so much water to use. And what the fuck is the deal with that suction tube? Is it to prevent me from spitting in your face when you jam sharp objects into my gums, because you were too busy chatting it up with your assistant? Well, guess what? I could still bite you, motherfucker!!! (I’ve bitten a dentist before, and I was proud of it.)

I’m going to my dentist appointment tomorrow. Not because my mother is making me. Not because I’m supposed to. I’m going, because I’m too broke to not take care of my teeth. Do you know how much a root canal costs?

Photo Credit: Sodahead.com & Me

Picture shamelessly stolen from http://www.boymeetsmusic.com/

Happy Monday my beautiful, sexy, hilarious, rip city scumbags! If you’re one of the few PDeX’s that is unfortunate enough to be employed, chug some coffee and shake off the weekend, because it’s over now and your boss can totally tell you’re hungover and you smell like whiskey, still. Welcome to part three of A Scumbag’s Guide to Portland. This week is a good one, because M-R are great letters, and also your hair looks really nice today and everyone has a crush on you and your ex secretly looks at your Facebook page to see what you’re up to every day, still.

Magic Garden /Mary’s – I am posting these two at the same time because they are two of the best/worst strip clubs in the universe and if you find yourself attending either of them, then it won’t matter which one you’re at and you probably won’t be able to tell the difference anyways. The first time I went to Mary’s (Magic Garden? Who knows?) I think the lady entertaining us was maybe six months pregnant. One of them (Magic Garden? Mary’s?) doesn’t even have a pole so it’s just you, and the dancer, and all the other people, staring at a slightly elevated stage while sipping watered-down Taaka vodka drinks or whatever. They might get their booze from Costco. Verdict is still out. But the next time you go, i might be there, and it’s one of the only venues in which I will be willing to give you a high-five, so take advantage of that if I am standing upright.

Picture shanked from PDXstump.com

HONORABLE MENTION: Meat Cheese Bread - Those three things are a party in and of themselves, but this place puts them together and probably adds in fucking fairy dust or something because I don’t even think I added hot sauce the last time I was there. (I would probably add hot sauce into my cereal if my cat Lemmy didn’t always stare at me all Judge-y McJudgerson, so that’s saying quite a bit.) I like hot sandwiches (ewwww. Why does that sound so gross?) so I generally go with pulled pork or whatever special they happen to bless the world with on that day. Everything is delicious though. Also, listen dudes and babes, please don’t bail on desert because you want to “drink your calories” or something dumb like that because their bread pudding is so good that it will make you emotional.

Ned Ludd – ‘Chloe!’ you are probably thinking, ‘do they even allow your kind into such establishments?’ Well the totally awesome answer is YEAH UH-HUH THEY DO because I’ve been there a few times now. Even a scumbag needs to wine and dine every once in a while and let me tell you, Nedd Ludd is worth all of your shiny nickles. The decor is adorable – seriously, it looks like you blacked out one totally fun night and then somehow managed to stumble your way into Julia Child’s wacky trophy-hunting stepson’s French countryside kitchen. Their food changes by the season (I know right? So cute you want to barf. I know.) but I always order whatever has duck in it. Cuz REFINED TASTES, and shit.

Original Hotcake House - Drunk and hungry? (Drungry! WHOA I just made that up. Feel free to retweet.) Lurking east of everywhere? Then slink on over and slump down into the calming, sleazy darkness of the OG Hotcake house. Drink watered down coffee and smash stack and stacks of pancakes into your face. Shame you can’t smoke in here anymore because it has the feel of a place that should still be engulfed in potential cancer. The light won’t hurt your eyes (there’s not really too much of it) and the waitresses have all been there for ‘too damn long’ or whatever and then there is also pie. This place is seething with Bukowski. The uninviting atmosphere is coveted by scumbags already, though, so getting a table can take a little bit. Everybody here is such a dick, too. Don’t bring the kittens – take advantage of the fact that this place is open 24 hours, and treat it like a place that’s open 24 hours. 2am and later is best.

People’s Sandwich of Portland - More sandwiches, Chloe? HELL YES MORE SAMMICHES. ALWAYS with the more sandwiches! The People’s Sandwich is a cute little Communist shop on the west side and they have a totally adorable “solidarity, BROTHER” type of relationship with Sizzle Pie and everything is just great, you guys. Just great. Many a whiskey-fogged day-after has been made more bearable by shoving their pepperoni rolls (they’re not served that often, so if you see em on the menu – opportunity is knocking. Answer the door, man.) down my throat. Their specials are always my go-to, but I could just as easily fall in love with one of their Philly cheese steaks and then what the hell was I just talking about? Jesus shit i’m hungry.

The Queen of Hearts Tavern – constantly open for business.

Queen of Hearts Tavern - HA HA!!! I found a rad dive bar that begins with Q and that’s why I am able to write mediocre blog posts for scumbags and you don’t bother! (Wait. What?) If you want a Hell’s Angel, broken pool-cue, well-flavored whiskey kind of night, bike on over (VROOM VROOM, not ding ding. Leave your fixed gear at home. Why don’t you have any brakes, anyway? God you are a creep.) to The Queen of Hearts. Located in beautiful SE Portland, the only requirements for entry are some drinking cash and a scowl. The place features events like custom bike shows, has a couple games and is home to a league of upstanding PDX pool-players. I got a whiskey soda and I am still hungover from it this week, so waste no time on vetting venues, all you motorcycling low-lives! The Queen of Hearts is brimming with the ingredients to make your next good old-fashioned bar scuffle the one you tell your grand kids about.

Lauren and I, taking in the beautiful scenery at Reel M Inn

Reel M Inn – 45 minutes we waited, impatiently drinking our totally weird-tasting drinks, to stuff our faces with chicken out of a deep fryer that probably hasn’t been cleaned since the very concept of the deep fryer was invented. That is my feeling about this place, because I have no clue how else this fried chicken is so goddamend delicious. Do you know what a jojo is? If you thought “No. What the hell is a jojo?” then you are probably healthier than the average patron at Reel M Inn. Sports on the big screen, if your into that kind of thing, and a random lottery of morbidly obese and/or tattooed regulars. The bartender was an absolute doll but I forget her name entirely because I drink at night. They have six kinds of condiments that they bring to your table, as well as a ranch sauce container thing for every person in your dining party and I don’t even care that I am probably going to have a heart attack in like five minutes.

Me and Luke, extremely excited to be at Robo Taco.

HONORABLE MENTION: Robo Taco - Similar to most animals that crawl out of San Francisco’s mission district alive, I have a life-threatening addiction to burritos. This is a serious problem. I love you, Rip City, but…burritos. You’re so bad at them. I went to one place that told me, “We don’t have guacamole here,” like it was a totally normal thing for a burrito place not to have and that that totally wouldn’t ruin my day/life. I actually feel depressed now, after remembering that. Thanks a lot guys. Anyway Robo Taco’s burritos are the closest thing I’ve found to home, and their tacos are cheap and really good. I go for carnitas, but if I jumped off a bridge would you jump off a bridge, too? No. So try whatever meat or vegetarian option you’re in the mood for that day and get a cheap tattoo at Lady Luck next door by my buddy Jason while you’re at it. And there is an 87% chance that I will be down the block at Star Bar, so like, wave. Or whatever.

BE SURE TO RETURN NEXT WEEK! Same bat time, same bat channel.

X’s and O’s for real.

<3,

Chloe

Many, many years ago at a time when there was an unloved Bush in the White House, perverted men were counting down the days until Miley Cyrus became legal and Seattle still had a basketball team, the first official NYC Pop Fest was born. It was 2007, a significant year for pop enthusiasts and pop bands, because they were finally able to come together to share their love for music. Local indie bands, established bands and international bands flocked to New York for the inaugural event.

It’s 2012 and the NYC Pop Fest is prepared to hold Williamburg, Brooklyn’s Spike Hill hostage to celebrate their sixth year. It’ll be the only FREE show out of four venues that the NYC Pop Fest 2012 will be playing. (For more info on the other shows you may visit their site here.)

The festivities in Spike Hill will be held on Saturday, May 19th, beginning at 1pm. There will be four acts ready to perform. Lisa Bouvier from Sweden, Outerhope from the Philippines, and Pale Lights and Habibi from New York. I actually had the liberty to see Habibi recently, band they’re a fun girl group that play very well. So if you’re looking to do some afternoon drinking and listen to some indie pop bands, head over to Spike Hill.

NYC Pop Fest 2012
Saturday, May 19th at 1pm
FREE
Spike Hill
186 Bedford Ave
[Williamsburg]

Photo Credit: livingfreenyc.com

Wanna be a Broke-Ass of the Week? Holler at us here and we’ll send you the questionnaire.

Randy Walker, who grew up in the meth strewn ghost towns of “Eastern” California is singer-songwriter for the band Carletta Sue Kay who just released their debut lp “Incongruent” (Kitten Charmer Records). Feted in the NY Times and Vogue Italia, derided by Seattle’s The Stranger (“worst album cover”), and asked personally by Magnetic Fields front man singer-songwriter Stephin Merritt to sing on the latest Magnetic Fields record, celebrates their first release with a week of shows in SF:

TONIGHT: Thursday, May 17th at Amoeba SF. 6pm. FREE
Friday May 18th at Café du Nord with The Avengers and Erase Errata
And an intimate show on May 26th at The Lost Church with Lilac.

Name: Randy Walker, a.k.a. Carletta Sue Kay

Age: 47

Occupation: Rare book wielding Chanteuse.

What neighborhood do you live in?: The Lower Haight

Best money saving tip: Don’t go out! Stay home and watch Law & Order re-runs, laugh at the shitty acting, the insulting writing, and the long since forgotten superior casting choices, drink cheap jugs of Malbec.

What do you refuse to spend money on?: Lipstick (I rely on the kindness of girlfriends and strangers.)

Most expensive thing you’ve ever bought: A $2.50 can of Diet Coke at Taqueria San Jose and a signed limited edition of Sunday in the Park with George by Stephen Sondheim and James Lapine.

How’d that feel?: Fucked and Fabulous!

Favorite cheap eat: My buds Troy and Tomomi do this INCREDIBLE pop-up tamale shop at their house in the Lower Haight called Twisted Tamales. They are super fantastic people and they come up with killer, cross cultural variations on the tamale.

Favorite dive bar: The Attic (3336 24th Street) especially when my handsome boyfriend/future husband Kyle Gibson is working.

Best deal you’ve ever gotten: Damien Hirst Multiple circa 1996.

Favorite free thing to do: Checking out the many fascinating and historic buildings of San Francisco. Including the so-called Old Russian Embassy (1198 Fulton Street). My pal Matt is making a documentary called The House of Legends about the infamous, gorgeous 123 year old Victorian mansion that inspired Tom Wolfe, Janis Joplin, Ken Kesey, Anton LaVey, Bobby Beausoleil, and Kenneth Anger.

If you woke up a millionaire, what’s the first thing you’d buy?: A diamond studded muzzle for my boyfriend.

Despite not having money, do you still love your life?: Love is a very strong word.

Do you own my book?: I thought this was MY interview!

Best hangover cure: Sleep it off!

Are you a hipster?: I’m me. A 47-year old flaming homosexual man obsessed with all things Sondheim, the music of Mark Eitzel, The S.F. Symphony, especially when conducted by the hilarious and extremely animated MTT, Rock Star Energy Drink and peanut butter. I shop for my on-stage persona Carletta Sue Kay, looking for dresses that will fit my ever increasing largesse, rummaging Thrift Stores and Vintage Shops alike. (Plug for Vacation! My pal Kristin’s fabulous new shop on 651 Larkin Street). If the things that I do could be called hip by myself or by others, it is of no interest to me. I do what I enjoy. If others share in that enthusiasm then the more the merrier I always say. If they do not, they can go buy the latest Best Coast record, make me wait for a table at Mission Chinese or just fuck off!

You know a place is worth visiting after Anthony Bourdain and  Chris Cosentino gave  it a thumbs up on the show “The Layover”. To Hyang on Geary and 2nd Ave. in the Inner Richmond is no exception. After seeing a short video Bourdain made about the place, I decided to try it out with two of my favorite foodie friends. All of us agreed it was awesome and had a memorable dining experience – without emptying our wallets!

The woman chef makes the majority of the ingredients she serves and grows her veggies in the back patio behind the joint. Some of her specialties include homemade noodles, kim chi and an amazing spicy-sweet-soy sauce. Of course, a lot of people get offended and over protective of their local gem being aired on mainstream television, as it automatically produces a crowd. However, we arrived just after the restaurant opened at 5 p.m. We got seated straight away, but the tiny place filled up fast. We drank my favorite Hite beer and the waiter was super helpful at helping us choose the best dishes.

I think my favorite was the Braised oxtail with daikon, carrot, boiled egg dish. The Bibimbap was delicious and on the cheap side. We also had an awesome soup with homemade noodles that was big enough to serve four. The Ban Chan was fresh and they kept it coming. The tofu was one of the best I’ve ever tasted. All in all, the main courses ranged from  $10-$20 and we ended up spending about $25 each on this authentic Korean meal!

To Hyang
Tues-Sat 5 p.m. – 11 p.m. / Sun 5 p.m. – 10 p.m.
3815 Geary St
(between 2nd Ave & 3rd Ave) 
[Inner Richmond]

Andrew W.K would refer to this place as his home away from home. I’ve been to many pseudo-dive bars but Williamsburg, Brooklyn’s Trash Bar is the epitome of a dive bar. The walls are decorated in indie rock band stickers, standard definition televisions hang above the bar and Christmas lights keep the bar lit. Even the vintage car seats have seen better days. The stains that have consumed them over the years read like scars from soldiers exchanging war stories of the many weekend battles that they have faced over the years. It’s fucking awesome.

Not only a bar, this place doubles as a live music venue, with a small room in the back. If you’re not in the mood for live music, well then, step up to play a game of pool. After the bands finish playing on Fridays and Saturdays, you can opt to participate as a competitor in their Kings of Karaoke event. Wednesday’s ” Fuckin’ Trash Bar Trivia” night is also available for the drunk smart-ass. They heavily advertise their Rolling Rock/PBR & shot deal for $5. They also offer a Bad-Ass Margarita for $5. They offer a few draft options like Guiness, Blue Moon and whatnot.

I definitely recommend The Trash Bar for a laid-back night with no expectations. You know what they say: “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure.”

The Trash Bar
Everyday 5pm-4am
$5 PBR/Rolling Rock & Shot Combo and $5 Bad Ass Margarita
256 Grand St (between Driggs Ave & Roebling St)
[Williamsburg]

Photo Credit: yelp.com

Hey guys! It’s Monday, and that totally sucks, but guess what? That also means it’s time for the next segment of the Scumbag’s Guide to Portland, which, depending on how you feel about it, might not totally suck that much. This week covers the letters G through L, so tune in, turn on, and drop out.

The Goodwill Bins – Sift through pure vintage, straight from the source. They’ll charge you by the pound. This is a great place to help keep your Etsy shop stocked, you know, the one you keep telling yourself you’ll open when you’re sober, because when people ask what you’re doing with your life, saying, “I am working on opening my online boutique!” is a totally acceptable answer? There’s rad stuff here if you take the time, so be prepared to find shit like original DEVO tour shirts, and board games like Mouse Trap that have all the pieces, but then also be prepared to find your friend’s dead grandmother’s dentures. And take a Xanax or something beforehand because the crowd is cut throat.

HONORABLE MENTION: Ground Kontrol –  A bar? In a classic arcade? When I heard about this I was like ‘Well that’s it for me, jerks, I’ll be hanging around here from now on until forever,’ because I couldn’t imagine a better place to decay. Me and booze, and my homies Pacman, Zelda, and Tetris. Just kickin’ it. And losing. Over and over and over. SIGH.

House of Vintage –  This was one of the first places in Portland that I had the privilege of getting lost in, and I have been madly in love with it ever since. Lots of my home furnishing came from their reasonably priced, adorably over-stacked rooms that are just bulging with weird kitschy knick-knacks that will (finally, this time, totally, I promise) complete you as a person and repair your damaged childhood.

HONORABLE MENTIONS: Holman’s Restaurant  – the first time I came here I was with my shitty ex-boyfriend and some chick had a seizure. It got better, though. The food consists of really great fried things, and they have an awesome patio where we like to giggle and cause trouble.

Me and Stephanie, totally enjoying the totally enjoyable atmostphere at Holman’s

Heart –  Favorite coffee in Portland (seriously STFU about Stumptown. It’s fine, and then that’s about it.) and it will relieve your hangover so fast that you will drop your keys in disbelief. Plus it’s on Burnside (refer to the B’s) plus it’s by Screen Door, which is important if you are one of those people that decides to waste four hours of your Saturday waiting in line for something you could get just as good somewhere else, because of some really sparkling Yelp reviews. Also, definitely take a stroll over to Hungry Tiger Too, especially in the summer – day drink and brunch your life away.

Imperial Tattoo –  Real scumbags know to mark themselves up so that everyone knows to just back-off. I love Imperial. Everyone that works here is great. My favorite is Manee Friday because he is nice and professional and has a light hand and he hasn’t even beat me up once for being annoying and not knowing what I want. They do specials sometimes, like for Friday the 13th or Halloween or whatever but you have to check with the website, or Manee’s Facebook page.

This is Robert the Robot. Manee Friday made him.

The Jupiter Hotel –  If you’re a foxy Portland scumbag you have probably blacked out here and woken up next to a popular band member who’s name probably escapes you. It is where lots of good bands stay and play. It is also home to the Doug Fir Lounge where you can take your one-night stand and stiff em for the brunch check, cuz who cares? Don’t their managers or whatever pay anyway?

The Know - Originally I forgot about this and didn’t have anything for K because the K is silent and I’m not that sharp on Mondays. The Know is an epicenter of PDX metal and fun and failures. It’s where I spent last summer, for the most part. And it’s on Alberta. And it’s right across the street from The Alleyway. And there are PINBALL MACHINES. And it’s great, so just go and drink the pain of existence away, ok?

Langano Lounge –  Whether you’re on day three of a bender, dodging your ex-girlfriend’s new girlfriend, or you ‘just want to find a dark place to get drunk by yourself at 2 pm for no reason, goddamnit,’ Langano is the place for you. This basement dive will shove strong, cheap drinks in your face, and boasts one of the loneliest atmospheres in Portland. BYOFriends, man. If you aren’t a regular, the look you’ll get from everyone will be similar to the look you got from your 8th grade math teacher when you forgot your homework for like the fifth day in a row.  And there’s always some dude in the corner playing an acoustic guitar. He won’t like you either, though. Even if you buy his mixtape or whatever. If you’re a normal person (HEY! Why are you reading this guide? Go pick up a copy of Fromer’s or something) you won’t understand the appeal of this place. If you’ve ever knowingly chosen several Tom Wait’s songs on a jukebox in one evening, however, then welcome home.

Lurking into the darkness of Langano.

UpOut presents “Broke & Classy: Broke-Ass Stuart’s 10 year Anniversary of Living in San Francisco“. Just because you’re young, broke and beautiful doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be able to put on your nicest duds and have a spectacular night on the town. When was the last time you spent just $3 to see some of the best musical acts in the Bay, fight cancer, drink free booze and slurp free oysters? That’s what we thought. UpOut, Level 4,  and Broke-Ass Stuart invite you to come celebrate Stuart’s 10th year anniversary with them. Why? Because we’re throwing a party worth waiting 10 years for. Be sure to dress up and be ready to get down. Broke and Classy will be better than New Years, your birthday and Chrismukkah combined.

You MUST RSVP by clicking “Want” on UpOut’s site here.

And this is a classy affair, so please DRESS UP. 

Lineup 

Judgement Day – Bad-ass instrumental “string metal” band from Oakland.
Birds & Batteries – A celebrated mainstay of the SF indierock scene
Rach W – An awesome up and coming local singer/songwriter
Hard French’s DJ Carnita – One of the DJs from SF’s Best Soul Dance Party

Food & Drink 

Sponsored fancy drinks (Negronis) by Campari for the first hour.
FREE Oysters by WoodHouse Fish Co. while supplies last.
30 free gourmet dogs by Dojo Dogs (first come first serve)
Dojo Dogs + Creme Brulee Cart Outside

Photobooth by Snap Fiesta

FB invite here.

Public Works
Thursday, May 17th
8pm-2am
161 Erie St.
[The Mission]

$3 cover
*partial proceeds will go to Slap Cancer
{Raising money to fight blood cancer}
21+