I just got back from The Outnet.

The Outnet, for those who aren’t familiar, is the outlet (ha, get it?) for designer giganta-site Net-A-Porter.

For the next 6 days, 9 hours, and some-odd minutes, they are having a Flash Sale on their Clearance Items.

Do you see the impossible paradox we have encountered here? A flash sale… on… clearance… items.

…THAT IS REALLY CHEAP.

The best part, though, is that it’s actually not cheap – quality-wise. This is the perfect opportunity to snag some really excellent things at really, really, really, insanely, uncomfortably, impossibly ridiculous prices.

Here, let me show you. (Warning: You have to log in, but it’s so worth it.)

Brian Atwood Gaynor Platforms $100 (WERE $665. SEE MY POINT?)

See by Chloe Wide Leg Jeans $65.25 (were $435)

Lela Rose (NOT FOR TARGET.) Cashmere-blend Blouse $75 (was $500)

Anna Sui Crochet Miniskirt $39 (was $260)

Jovovich-Hawk Honey Jam Bodysuit $29.40 (was $196)

By Malene Birger Cotton Collared Vest $44 (was $295)

Can you believe it? More of this, please!

Technorati Tags: by malene birger, chloe, clearance, designer clothes, lela rose, sales, the outnet

I like referring to shoe designers like they’re my close friends.

I got an email from 6pm.com letting me know that they’re having some ridiculous sales this weekend, including up to 85% off on the hottest shoe-designer brunch party I’d never been invited to:

Stuart Weitzman, Taryn Rose, and Marc by Marc Jacobs.

Here’s the best of the best:

Stuart Weitzman

Stuart Weitzman Trans $29 (were $270)

Go here to see the rest.

Taryn Rose

Taryn by Taryn Rose Harmony $75.18 (were $235)

Go here to see the rest.

Marc by Marc Jacobs

Marc by Marc Jacobs Flats $92 (were $270)

Go here to see the rest.

Technorati Tags: 6pm, designer shoes, MBMJ, sale, stuart weitzman, taryn rose

I’ve come to terms with the fact that I like wedges more than any heel you could ever show me.

So I’ve started to collect them, slowly. Next on the list? Wedge boots. Mid-calf, ankle, knee-high… I really don’t care, I just want.

These are from Revolve, who are amazing:

Diane von Furstenberg Opal Wedge Sandal in Black $295

I know they’re crazy expensive, but they’re so pretty… The wedge reminds me of old dock wood.

$145

I like the idea of unusual fabrics on shoes lately… Like natural tweed.

These are all from Jildor Shoes, who I’ve never purchased from… Anyone have stories?

Ash Lotus in Grey Leather $250

Pricey again, but aren’t they stunning? It’s like having an alien wrapped around your foot. And yes, before you ask, it totally comes in black and yes, it is also gorgeous.

Jeffrey Campbell MaryRoks Black Suede $125

These are funky. They’d look really cool with anything from WeLoveColors.

Have you seen any good wedge boots lately?

Show me, show me, show me.

Technorati Tags: booties, dvf, jeffrey campbell, spring, wedge boots

Trust me, I never thought I’d say it either but… Man, all I can think about is this jumpsuit from indie designer Kristinit:

Better than the fact that it’s stunningly gorgeous is the fact that it’s 100% organic linen. Summertime? Some fancy cocktail? Gigantic sunglasses? Ohhh, it’s too much, I can’t continue to imagine it or I will go absolutely insane.

The price is pretty steep at $265, but they’re offering a discounted rate to “private clients”, so you could potentially get this for $185 (use code SPRING40)which really isn’t bad considering the 1) indie designer who is using 2) 100% organic linen and 3) did you see the thing? It’s gorgeous.

What do you think of this sexy, confectionery jumpsuit from God?

Technorati Tags: indie designer, jumpsuit, linene, organic, ruffles

You know that feeling after you exfoliate your entire body, or after you scrub the hell out of your face in the shower with that Apricot St. Ives stuff, and you leave feeling like you could change your name and just be someone completely different because – oh my god – your skin feels brand new?

You might walk by an exhaust-y bus afterwards and secretly wish you could just cover your face, because all you can think about is the little, itsy bitsy bits of pollution that are now attempting to ravage your newly emptied and sanded pores. You might eat something greasy (how dare you) and look at your shiny fingers, thinking “DO NOT TOUCH FACE DO NOT TOUCH FACE” because if you could just prolong this fresh feeling, this newness for a leeettle bit longer… it might have some kind of impact on your life that you’ve been waiting for?

Maybe I take my skincare too seriously, but shedding that dead skin, that dead weight, just really invigorates me.

Coincidentally, this post is not about skincare. It’s about… Well…

I just wanna be naked.

You heard, I just want to be naked. The guy working behind me in this ice cream shoppe (who has TOTALLY been looking over my shoulder, I SEE YOU) just raised an eyebrow, I’m sure. I want to shed these thick, wooly, winter layers of crappy poly-blend wind-resistant synthetic crap, and these layered cotton, woven boulders of jackets that I’ve been wrapping around myself multiples times daily. I want them off. I’m ready to feel fresh, new, revisited, revamped. So, clearly, it’s time to get naked.

If we want to turn all this naked energy towards fashion, I urge you to look towards your natural palette to append this needs for nakedity (word, please?). I’m being drawn to peachy silk frocks, droopy-necked off-white jersey tops, and only bare legs. Maybe some lace, but mostly just legs. It’s all I can think about. Legs, skin, legs, skin.

Arden B. Pointelle Poncho Sweater Dress $59

Legs? Check. Skin? Check! It’s pointelle. It would be the same color if the thread they used was transparent, for goodness’ sake. It also comes in a dusty, charcoal color, but that’s not what we’re talking about here. But I still want it.

Arden B. Studded Blousant Dress $59

This looks so soft and silky… It’s exactly what I want/need. The drawstring waist would accommodate a burrito bump, too, which is always appealing. I know, I just inject “sexy” into everything, don’t I?

As U Wish Strapless Origami Dress $34.50 (was $69)

This is a little too… fitted for what I’m looking for, but I loved the front so much, it had to be included. An Irish or Norwegian person needs to buy this ASAP. It looks amazing on that light-light skin.

Mariagrazia Panizzi Dress $85

Randomly came across this and was shocked at the low price in combination with that striking shoulder detail.

Jen’s Pirate Booty Margarita Gauze Dress $101 (was $154)

Summer can’t come soon enough. You have to see the back of this dress, it will give your heart some exercise. So low, so devilishly low…

ZOEtee’s Women Short dresses $69 (was $85)

I just discovered this brand today and, considering how exactly-what-I-wanted this dress is, they might be inching their way towards “favorite”. 100% silk? Under $70? Yeah, inching is more like… foot-ing..?

American Apparel Drawstring Tank Dress $40

I know, control yourself… I just posted something from American Apparel. Slow down, slow down. Basically, a collaborative, near year-long effort by Jen and I has come to somewhat of a standstill because, well, we can’t find anything horrible about them, past their horrible marketing campaigns. So outside of massive exploitation via marketing, we have yet to find hard evidence that AA = bad people. And I like this dress. There, I said it. (Still prefer Alternative Apparel, though!)

If you liked any of the above dresses, you may just want to stop, because I saved all my favorites for last.

As I was scouring for things that would make me feel naked, I came across ASOS and – wow. I just… There are no words for how on point they are when it comes to this style.

ASOS Button-Through Batwing Dress $54.70

Perfect.

Rare Iridescent Sequin Dress $94.02

More perfect.

Numph Oversized Jersey Tunic $59.83

On-par-with-the-first-one perfect.

ASOS Oversized Trimmed Shirt Dress $61.54

Just plain really, really good.

What are you fixated on?

Technorati Tags: asos, beige, dresses, mini, nude, short

I have a love for people with ridiculous amounts of ambition.

If I could, I would collect them like Kewpie dolls and let them run around the city doing crazy amazing things, purely for my entertainment. I am Godzilla’s philanthropic sister, Ingridzilla.

I received a letter today telling me about a fashion designer based out of Los Angeles who is posting on Craigslist, and spamming the universe (rightfully so!) trying to get the attention of one Sandra Bullock, who has recently mentioned that she hasn’t decided on a dress for the Oscars.

This aspiring fashion designer is desperate to create a dress for her. Here is the post:

Hi Craigslist!

My name’s Michael and I am an aspiring fashion designer here in Hollywood. For many years, it’s been my dream one of the best actress nominees would wear a gown I designed and made for them to the Oscars. My designs are glamorous, elegant, classic, and unique and I would would work fast to make any of the nominees the best dressed “belle of the ball!”

This year, one of my absolute favorite actresses, Sandra Bullock, is nominated and it would be a dream come true for me just to meet her, let alone have her wear one of my designs on the red carpet! I have done several great sketches already that would be stunning on her. So please, if you or someone your know has a connection to Ms. Bullock please help me meet her. I will do anything! I’ll even fly to Austin to meet her!

So, Ms. Bullock. It would be my tremendous honor if you would let me have the chance to show you my designs. I promise I will not disappoint and will make you even more gorgeous than you already are.

Thank you so much!!

Viva Sandra!!

Sure, I’m positive that thousands of people have come across this ad, chuckled, and continued on. Maybe even marked it as Spam or something equally douchey.

Michael, the designer is actually holding auditions for Sandra look-alikes so he can photograph them wearing his creations to send to her team. This guy is amazing!

But who would I be, as a lover of aspiring artists/designers, if I didn’t push this with hopes that this kid’s dream comes true?

Besides, dressing Sandra Bullock would be amazing! She wears some of the best dresses I’ve seen. From her history of “plain Jane”-type roles, it’s actually kind of surprising and unexpected. I can see why Michael is obsessed. I love Sandra Bullock, and think it’s a little sad she doesn’t get more coverage in the fashion world. It’s not her fault she’s not a 12 year old girl, nip-slipping in 5″ stilettos! Let’s take a trip down Sandra Lane, shall we?

(All photos from Just Jared & PopSugar)

At the German Premier of The Proposal in Halston

Sandra wears "The Ugly Dress", which I love. Anyone know the designer?

At the Golden Globes 2010 in Dior

At the premier of Premonition in Lanvin

At the People's Choice Awards in BEAUTIFUL Vivienne Westwood

Such a great dress! Critics' Choice Movie Awards. Anyone know the designer of this beauty?

Not really red carpet, but this is from the Oscar Luncheon only a few days ago. She looks fantastic.

She is fabulous. That’s just how it is.

What would you like to see Sandra wear?

Technorati Tags: aspiring, craigslist, dress, fashion designers, oscars, red carpet, sandra bullock

While browsing through my typical repertoire of “I can’t buy anything here” stores, I came upon 80sPurple and wondered if it belonged with such stores as Saks, Neiman Marcus and *cough* Nordstrom (What? I’m actually broke and beautiful, ok? I can’t buy socks.) because, well, it’s not… completely… unattainable.

I realized this after coming across at least 5 garments that were a) visually stimulating, b) body-covering, and c) under $30. Not only that, but they were more appealing than the more expensive name brand items I saw at my Unattainable Stores (caps for honor, and to shake the fear of markup into you).

So I have developed an 80sPerfect list that I might have to make into a regular feature because, damn, they can do no wrong.

The Perfect Blazer

Purple Label Ray Leather Sleeve Blazer $42 (was $70)

Not gross-1983-leather-blazer (I don’t care if it’s trendy, that sh#@ is ugly.), but nice blazer with interesting faux leather details. I love, love, love (Gaga?) the closure in the front. So classy.

The Perfect Dressy Shorts

Aryn K Dress-like Shorts $47.20 (were $59)

I have been scouring the ‘net and otherwise for dressy shorts for almost a year. I have looked everywhere, for every color, every material, and it wasn’t until now that I’ve found anything remotely swoon-worthy. These are so lovely. I could envision them with opaque tights, bare legs, textured tights… Ohh, they are so good. (And so cheap!)

The Perfect Miniskirt

Fremont Jacqueline Skirt $94.80 (was $158)

I’m not one for gallivanting about in the snow wearing a miniskirt… Or anything leg-bearing, really. But if I had this in my closet, I just might. Plus, I’m slowly dying over the high waist with the dip in the front. Talk about whittling down your waist to just about nothing! ANYONE will have crazy curves in this thing. (Not like I need to say it, but: pockets.)

The Perfect Romper?!

Insight Bo-Peep Jumpsuit $29 (was $58)

Psh, yeah, I said it. The perfect romper. And the perfect romper happens to be black & white striped, a la Nubby. Can’t you just picture having a very graphic day at the beach? A big, floppy white sunhat, painfully red lips, big ol’ Jackie O. sunglasses, and a beverage with a straw? See, now you want it as badly as I do.
Horrible news: 80sPurple has run out of this piece. Please send them love letter with a post script begging them to restock. PLEASE. RE-READ THAT PARAGRAPH. I NEED THIS.

The Perfect Party Dress

Jenny Han Pleated Deep V Dress $96.80 (was $242)

I’ve decided that the only parties I really get excited to attend are a la Ke$ha, or a la broke-ass Daddy Warbucks (i.e. people dress fancy in their best duds, but drink PBR and Martinelli’s all night). This would be the perfect dress for either, I’d say. I love the yellow, and I extra love the model’s blunt bangs and smaller chest with this dress. It just looks good. Plus, you guys know how I feel about Jenny Han.

The Perfect Date Dress

Converse by John Varvatos Geometric Jcqrd Lace Dress $98 (was $245)

YES, this is different from a party dress in many ways. There is more sensuality, more ladylike qualities, and less skin involved. Oh, and more lace, because you have to be wearing lace somewhere on a date, nawmean? Also, turquoise and brown together has been a favorite of mine for years. I actually painted my room teal and brown when I lived in Seattle! It’s just so classy and sexy. (This is a total Jen dress, by the way.)

The Perfect Basic Dress

WeSC Marna Long Top $48 (was $97)

I really mean this one. I saw this dress and did one of those movie gasps where you inhale so much air that you start to cough… This could be layered, it could be… Well, you’d really better layer it. Unless you are a member of the smaller-breasted community who can get away with just rocking a bandeau under there (jealous, btw). I would probably do illegal things to get this dress. It’s amazing.

What are you uncomfortably obsessing over lately?

Technorati Tags: 80spurple, blazer, dressy, perfect dress, shorts

There are two things bringing me to my knees this week:

1) Influenza. I hate calling it “The Flu” – it is not a gangster rapper, it is a highly respectable illness that has captured the lives of many people. Not a particularly cheery thought, but it is more hardcore than “The Flu”, it’s f**king INFLUENZA.

(SIDENOTE: Did you know that Influenza was first described by Hippocrates roughtly 2,400 years ago? Yeah. “The Flu.”)

2) Short-heeled or wedge lace-up ankle boots. Yep, I drank the Kool-Aid. Remember what the OFC said about this boot business?

Well, after gawking endlessly for hours at the gorgeous Chloé boots, and then seeing the stunner from Disctrict of Chic in her adorable Born boots from Eddie Bauer – it’s hard not to just start relentlessly coveting, you know?

So, for the last few weeks, I’ve been searching and searching for a non-knockoff, delicious boot that meets my aesthetic bootie needs. It’s been harder than I thought.

I like the nice blend of utility and rugged style. I dig how they look with thick, off-white socks, or skinny jeans. They’re unexpected, and I think that’s why I want them so badly.

T.U.K. Lace-Up Boot $59.95

Chelsea Crew “Tuson” Boot $85

Dr. Martens Darcie 8 Eye Boot $129.95
Also in brown!

Timberland “Crispin” Mid $140

And my favorite…

Steve Madden “Iness” Boot $99.95
Also in black!

It’s really between the Iness boots and the Chelsea Crew boots… Then again, the Timberland boots are really nice (wow, did I really just say that?), but I’m not sure about the contrasting colors.

Which are your favorite? Any? All? None? Do you hate this post?

Technorati Tags: boot, chloe, heels, lace-up, leather, snow, wedge, winter

…man, the idea is appealing sometimes.

Like those times when you wake up, look around, see that no, you didn’t magically do laundry without your own knowledge the day before, and yes, there are only four clean items of clothing for you today.

These are the times that my fashion morals are challenged. How easy it must be for Queen Michelle to look amazing every morning, with those 600 mile long legs all a-slick with PVC. Top it with… well, whatever! She’ll look ridiculously good no matter what.

But for me? Can I walk around looking like I just left the Liquid Latex Wrestling tournament, and found a baggy t-shirt on the way home? I don’t know. I think I’m back on the “they’re not pants” bandwagon.

…Then I go to Black Milk. Then I realize it was a mistake, and my morals are aflutter with one hell of a dilemma.

The Phoenix Leggings $80

Much in the way I view Bebaroque as the Queen of Tights, I view Black Milk as the God of Leggings. The designer, James Lillis, knows what he’s doing when it comes to spandex + footless leg coverings.

Wet Look Leggings $40

The ever-popular, highly-appealing leather-esque leggings. I’ve been warming up to the idea of these over the many months that they’ve been… well, everywhere. Maybe someday soon, I’ll pick some up right after no one cares anymore.

Candy Candy, You Are The One And Only! Leggings $80

The beautiful print is by Machiko Satonaka. These are nowhere near my style, but I like them.

Resurrection $80

I love a good understated creepy vibe, and that’s totally these. They come in black with white bones, too – equally as cool looking.

Gold Spartans $90

These are fascinating. I almost wish I had the aesthetic preference to pair them with something really exorbitant and busy… But I think I would feel the most comfortable pairing them with something solid and architectural. Let ‘em shine, right?

Lace Spartans $90

These are… borderline too-”80s” for me. I love a good lace panel, but I’m not sure if I’d feel totally comfortable in these.

These are definitely leggings that you need to take care of. The higher prices are in line with the quality, to be sure, so if you get a pair – REALLY make them last!

Which are your favorites?

Technorati Tags: black milk, bones, leggings, liquid, patterned, pvc

Revenge?! So close to True Romance?

Yes. Why? Because I’m self-centered. I’m self-centered to the point that everything on this website revolves around me, and where my head is in the world of fashion.

Well, my head just ended a three year relationship, so guess what… Now my head likes the idea of taking revenge on the universe that just turned her life upside down. My head is also a “her”, apparently.

So, I hopped on the “revenge” train, initially, by facing the world in the morning. That was tough. So tough, in fact, that I needed some assistance.

…So I stole his sunglasses.

Yep. Those monster, gold specs are those of my ex-lover, and guess what – he’s not getting them back – sorry, darling!

Sunglasses. Think Lady Gaga, think Anna Wintour, and – oh, every other celebrity in a 500 mile radius of Earth. On days like today, I can’t help but relate to the women who never take their glasses off. I don’t want to look at anyone, catch their eye, get caught staring off, longingly… Nope, just leave me behind my slightly amber wall of anonymity, and my repairs can begin to take place.

I, personally, like aviator glasses mixed with a playlist of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, DJ Shadow, and Mos Def.

If I didn’t have an ex-boyfriend from whom I was able to steal sunglasses, I might reach for these…

Chinese Laundry Aviators $15

Hot Kiss Pewter Aviators $15

80’s Purple Yanki II Vintage Aviator Sunglasses $10

Tell me stories about how you overcame heartbreak.

Technorati Tags: aviators, breakups, fashion, sunglasses