hi all!

don’t get too excited; i’m still in the midst of my hiatus as i adjust to some stuff going on in my off-line life.  nothing bad at all; just different and time consuming.  so before we return to our regularly scheduled program, any posts that appear here will likely have to do with hair, since i still have like 5257485495 product reviews to do that i havent done yet, and since i still have to put up directions for the dry Bantu knot-out people have been asking me about.  i’ll be doing a video too, but for now, i just want to get up a (not so) quick written tutorial since i’ve been promising for so long.

so let’s get going! (c) Brian Fellow

coming up on my third year of being naturally curly and perm-free, i have a confession to make:  i dont know how to style my hair.  i’m good with maintenance and up-keep–my wash and detangle process is on point, i get my deep conditioning in once a week, like a good little natural should–but when it comes to all these fantastic amazing styles that i’m supposed to be able to do?  nope.  my staple is a wash-and-go.  i can’t do a decent twist-out to save my life.  my head is too big to be trying to two strand it all so i’m not even going to try.  i can kind of almost get an okay braid-out but it needs work.  so typically, i’m either in a curly fro or a big ol puff.

until recently, when i discovered that my hair loves dry sets, specifically a bantu knot-out done on dry hair.  since then, i’ve done a bunch of trial-and-error seeing what works and what doesn’t–what products, what size knots, etc–and i think i’ve got a pretty good system going.  after sharing pictures of my results on twitter and facebook, ive gotten lots of questions about the process and even requests for a video tutorial.  the video will soon come, and in the meantime, i’ll spill my guts about it all here.  this will be pretty long.  that’s what he said.

PLEASE NOTE:  as you read, PLEASE remember that i can only speak on what has worked for ME and MY HAIR.  i MUST stress that everybody’s hair is different, and what works for one person may be a disaster for the next.  i’m not promising you any results–just telling you what i do and what works for me.  execute at your own risk!

What is a bantu-knot?

these are bantu knots!

we’ll start with the basics, but not spend too much time on them.  these are bantu knots.  it becomes a knot-out when you style your entire head of hair in bantu-knots, keep them in for awhile to let them set, then take them out and your hair loosely. (TIP: as you put your knots in, you may not want to part your hair so precisely or pull TOO too tight at the roots, because once you take the knots out, those parts may still remain.)

for more information on how to do bantu knots, click here (instruction on how to create a knot starts at step 5), or here for a quick video tutorial.

Why dry?

bantu knot-out on wet hair. very calm & contained.

when setting natural hair, there are two ways you can go.  well, three:  you can do them on wet hair, damp hair, or dry hair.  i began doing my knot-outs on wet hair assuming that to be the best way, and i didn’t mind the results.  my knot-outs look more like a roller set when i do it on wet hair which is fine.  but my biggest problem:  wet knots take FOREVER to dry.  like literally 1-1.5 days.  and for me, knot-outs are very difficult to maintain without knotting them all over again, and that’s a LOT of time and energy for a 1-day hair style.

i got the idea to try it on dry hair when i noticed that wet sets make my hair heavier and limper than i’d like.  a bit about my hair:  if i had to type it, i guess it’d be 3C/4A?  i kind of don’t believe in hair typing though, so forget all that.  my hair is voluminous, meaning that there are lots of strands of hair on my hair, but it’s also fine, meaning that the diameter of a single strand is fairly small.  it’s not baby fine, but it is fine, and easily weighed down by product when wet.  dry sets give me lots of body and volume and softness and just all around yummy goodness.  and they’re faster–it sets overnight!

ive also found that this style works best on my hair when it is NOT freshly washed, ie dry hair that already has product in it.  this may not hold true for everybody, but the older my hair is when doing knot outs, the better it seems to look.  this is dangerous because when i keep doing bantu knot outs, it’s very easy for me to accidentally go like 2 weeks without washing which is just nasty.  don’t tell nobody.

THE PROCESS:

you will need:

• plain ol’, regular ass conditioner of your choice.  this doesn’t have to be anything fancy AT ALL.  go ‘head and hit up that 99 cent shelf at walgreens–V05, Suave, Herbal Essences–you can save your good stuff.
• a shine spray or light oil (like jojoba or watermelon seed oil)
• a light holding cream (or maybe a light holding gel)
• a light, oil-based moisturizer
• an afro pick

1.  Stretch your hair. i’ve found that i get much better results when my hair has been stretched prior to knotting.  when i go straight from my regular wash & go curls to bantu knotting, i get stiff, tight curls that don’t move or bend as much as i’d like, them to.  you can stretch your hair however you’d like.  i prefer not to use heat on my hair, so i usually stretch mine by combing out my hair, braiding, and rocking a braid out for a day or two.

2.  Section off your hair. it’s up to you to decide how big or small you want your bantu-knots.  in my experience, big knots give bigger, looser curls and much more volume (duh, right?).  smaller coils will give you coilier, more defined curls.  it all depends on the look you want.. sometimes i go with bigger knots on the bottom for volume and smaller ones on top for definition.  to illlustrate the difference, i once did a dry knot out with smaller knots on my left side and bigger ones on the right.

smaller on the left, bigger on the right

3. Apply conditioner and detangle. take one section, apply a couple of fingertip-fulls of your conditioner, and comb out the section with a tool of your choice.  again, this does not have to be a fancy conditioner–my absolute favorite conditioner of all time is Trader Joe’s Nourish Spa conditioner, which is less than $3 in store.  i use a denman to detangle my hair all the time, so that’s what i use to comb out for bantu knots.  here’s another reason why it’s good to do this on stretched hair; detangling hair while dry can cause a lot of breakage.  with the hair stretched, there should be fewer tangles to get through, and putting conditioner on it can help make combing out your hair a little easier.

once you’re all untangled, apply a bit more conditioner to the section to add some moisture.  this will help give you a smoother set.  IMPORTANT:  don’t use too much!!  you don’t want to use so much that the hair feels damp or wet to the touch.. that defeats the purpose of your dry set!

4.  Apply your shine spray/light oil. now, truth told, i don’t even know how essential this is to the set.  i just know that i did this the first time and have been unwilling to skip it just in case it’d change my results any.  but, id imagine you’d want to use something to add just a bit of moisture and sheen, and to help moisturize and smooth those ends, which, if your hair is like mine, will be nice and frizzy and fuzzy since your hair is dry.

the shine spray that i use is Natural Shine Polish by JustNatural Organics, and it’s actually VERY amazing.. it makes my hair feel very, very smooth to the touch, and is VERY good for smoothing my ends.  i definitely recommend it–if you can afford it.  at 24 bucks, it’s pretty pricey for such a small bottle.

5.  Apply your holder/twisting cream. the twisting cream i use is darcy’s botanicals avocado and honey twisting cream.  i’d imagine you could use any holder in this step, with any varying degree of hold as long as it doesn’t make your hair too wet.  one of the things i have yet to do is try a knot-out using gel instead of this twisting cream.

6.  Twist! okay, you have a couple of options here.  you can either two-strand twist your hair before knotting, or you can knot without two-strand twisting.  i’ve done it both ways (heh.. that sounds kinky) and i find that two-stranding first gives me a finish that looks more like a roller set.  it’s much more… orderly and controlled.  knotting without two stranding first sets you up to get coilier curls if you want (depending on how you put your knots in.. i’ll come back to this a little later), and in general it gives me bigger, more dramatic, Tracee Ellis Rossy curls.

dry twist out, without two-stranding, with flatter knots

if you decide not to two-strand first, you have a couple of other options before you:  you can make your knots so that they’re sort of high and stacked, like this, or so that they’re flatter and more pinwheel shaped.  high, stacked knots give me coily curls, and flatter knots just give me big curls without any uniform type of curl.  does that make sense?  if not i’ll try to explain it better if requested.

so, choose what size and type of knots you want, get em in there, and secure with a bobby pin at the scalp.  note:  don’t make them so tight that you can’t sleep on them, if you’ll be keeping them in overnight!

TIP: once i get to the last inch and a half or two inches of my hair, approaching the ends, i pause with my twisting and apply all three of my products over again, making sure to get a good dose of my shine spray, because it’s that that really helps to smooth the ends.  i reapply all three, in order, then continue on with making the knot.

7.  Cover. tie on a silk scarf or throw on a silk bonnet and go on about your business for the night.

8.  Unknot and separate. IMPORTANT!  do NOT touch a single strand of your hair unless you have a light, oil-based moisturizer or pomade on your fingers!!  since we didn’t use a product with firm hold, your new curls can be easily frizzed or otherwise disturbed if handled with dry hands.  i use darcy’s botanicals coconut butter styling pomade and i absolutely positively love it.  it’s greasy feeling on the fingers, but not in the hair, and who doesn’t love the scent of coconut??  if you don’t have/use a pomade, just make sure that whatever moisturizer that you use, if you can help it, is oil-based.  you may even just want to use an oil–before using the pomade, i used jojoba oil and watermelon seed oil at varying times, and my hair looked great (but it was oily to the touch all day, which i dont like).  but try to avoid a water-based moisturizer because you don’t want to wet your hair with whatever product you’re going to use.

so.  unknot a knot with moisturized fingertips.  take the remainder of the moisturizer on your fingers and rub it over the unknotted knot, making sure to hit the ends.  then, split the curl in your hands in half, then in half again, then in half again, as many times as you’d like to your desired fullness.  the more times you split, the bigger your hair/volume will be, and the fewer times you split, the chunkier and tamer your curls will be.

for me and my hair, the more times i split a  bantu knot, the frizzier i notice my individual curls getting.  to combat this, i spend a little bit of time hunting and pecking, looking for dry-looking curls and rubbing some moisturizer/pomade over them to shine them up–this may be something best illustrated in the video, so i’ll be sure to do that.

9.  Fluff your roots. it’s possible that you may still have some separation at your scalp from the parts/sections you made while knotting your hair.  don’t worry!  an afro pick can fix that right up for you.  take your pick, slip it into your hair at the the roots, and GENTLY lift it from your scalp just a bit.  this will create fullness at the roots that should get rid of any separation at the scalp.

10.  Accessorize at will! throw a scarf on it, pin it on one side, put a headband in there, or just leave it alone and let it do what it do.. it’s up to you!  you’re done!  go on out into the world with your fabulous self!

MAINTENANCE.

this coily knot out didn't look so bad the 2nd day

now unfortunately, this is a one-day style for me.  if i rock a knot-out on monday, the only way to get another decent knot out on tuesday is to knot it all over again on monday night.  depending on how much time i have, i’ll do it and won’t mind, but sometimes, i’m just too tired.  if my knots were fairly small and defined and gave me kind of tight curlage, i can sometimes get away with sleeping with my hair in my satin bonnet and waking up and shaking it out in the morning.  other than that, i’ll sometimes just sleep on it and put it in a puff the next day.  this past weekend though, i pulled my hair loosely to the top of my head and made sure not to lay on the length as i slept and that seemed to give me a decent result the next day.  but that was purely  by accident; i’ll have to experiment with that a little more.

so!  that’s the basics!  there are a few points/tips/matters that i didn’t really get too in dept with because this entry is already long enough, but i’ll try hard to touch on them in the video.  in the meantime, please let me know if you have any questions on anything youve read here, or if there are things you want me to address in the vid, and you got it!  you can leave a comment for me here, or email me, or get me on twitter.  also, i’ll be updating my fotiki with pictures of various knot-outs soon.

hope this helps til the video!

(thanks to @HereIsMySpout of Derby City Naturals for snapping some of these pics!)

lion 1 – this a bomb ass bbq right here, dawg.

lion 2 – i know, right?  what kind of marinade is this?  is that Lawry’s in this dry rub?

lion 3 – watch out man, you keep bumpin my elbow.

lion 2 – my bad, you know i’m left handed!  we shoulda switched sides.

lion 1 – wayment.  who is that?

lion 2 – i dont know, man, i ain’t invite nobody but yall.

lion 3 – ay.  aye, we lions, man.  how they just gon roll up in here like we won’t fuck them up?

lion 1 – they don’t have claws or nothin.  do they even have teeth?

lion 2 – i’m bout to be out, yall.

lion 1 – what?  what chu mean?

lion 3 – we LIONS, nigga, you ain’t gotta go nowhere!

lion 2 – NAW NIGGA, I DON’T TRUST NO NIGGAS THAT’S JUST GON WALK UP ON A BUNCH OF LIONS IN THE MIDDLE OF DINNER, MAN.  THEY CRAZY AS SHIT. (runs off)

lion 3 – oh shit son.  he got a point.  GET OUT THE WAY! (runs)

lion 1 – gotdamnit!  wait for me!  (runs)

(all other lions join and watch from the brush as the men begin to take from the meal)

lion 2 – look at that shit.  i told yall niggas, man.  them niggas got motherfucking machetes.

lion 1 – wait a minute…

lion 2 – they are CLEARLY unstable.  who just walks around with some machetes.  huh?  where they do that at?

lion 1 – wait a minute, i know that nigga, man.

lion 3 – AYO YOU BET NOT TOUCH MY PLATE, HOMIE!  THAT’S FUCKED UP!

lion 1 – that’s that nigga Rakita, man!  yeah, man i know him!  i ate his brother’s leg off last week, he ain’t shit!  he’s like a fuckin accountant or a security guard or some shit!

lion 2 – WE’VE BEEN DUPED!

lion 3 – nigga took my potato salad.  fuck him, yo.

i stood up and did the slow clap in real life after this.

DONT BE TARDY FOR THE RALLY?!?  WHO ARE THESE GENIUSES??!?!!?!!!

(thanks to @heyerinevans for this!)

ur parents won't be too pleased when they find out what that heart REALLY means.

ah, valentimes.  the flowers.  the candy.  the last minute plunge into claustrophobia in the greeting card aisle at Walgreens. the annoying receptionist that makes sure you see the roses her fiancee sent her.  the bitter broads and brothers who gloom up your happy lovin’ ass with their LBS (lonely bitch status).  it’s all part and parcel.

i knew i wanted to blog about valentimes day, but i wanted to do something different than gush over having a boo/piss about not having a boo/picketing about how commercial a day it is.  i’m a history nerd, and my secret fetish is random trivia.  so, in the spirit of the holiday, here’s a bit for you.

this is how we draw a heart.  this is what a human heart really looks like.  …what the hell?  what art school reject submitted this design along with $100 to have it win the contest?  how did this happen?  i’ll tell you how it happened!

when you look at this,

there’s a good chance that you’re looking at some woman’s spread coochie.  or bent over behind.

it’s true!  i’m not just being nasty!  according to wikipedia (which, as we know, is always right), “considered to depict features of the human female body, such as the female’s buttocks, pubic mound, or spread vulva.”  it could also be inspired by the shape of a silphium seed, which was used as a contraceptive, but for comedic purposes, i’m clinging to the vajayjay/booty idea.

enjoy your chocolates encased in ass this year!

1 | 2 | 3

over there.  on the right.  your OTHER right.  that shoe.  that come-get-it shoe.  that one shoe.  that ‘i may have had my leg taken by the diabeetus, but this other foot gon stay FIERCE’ shoe.  it’s nice, right?  u jelly, huh?  i know, girl.  i know.

but i got good news for all the bloggers out there–you can get you one too!  all you have to do is sign up for the Red Pump Project’s 500 in 50 campaign.  if you don’t know, the Red Pump Project is a foundation dedicated to raising awareness about the impact of HIV and AIDS on the lives of women and girls.  you can find more info abt the project and its founders here.

and if you go here you can sign up for their 500 in 50 campaign, which is trying to round 500 bloggers up in the days leading to March 10th (National Women and Girls HIV/AIDS Awareness Day).  on that day, all participating bloggers are asked to do a bit of writing about HIV/AIDS stats/, info on the disease and it’s impact on women and girls, etc.  in return you get a badge of fierceness for your blog, and recognition and linkage at both Awesomely Luvvie AND The Fab Giver on that day.  click here for more info.

i’m all signed up and ready!  look, watch me do the stanky legg in my one undiabetic leg with my red pump on!  *falls over*

i may or may not have this tattooed on my left buttcheek.

ashe, brothers and sisters!

updates here may be scarce here this month, as i am being moved by the spirit to educate your black asses (and non-black asses) on shit you didn’t even even know you didn’t know about yourself.  Little Known Black History Facts are back again this month, AND me and the good scholars at PostBourgie are reupholstering your kufis with kind of almost sort of daily episodes of Know Your History.

don’t let The Man keep you in the dark!  step outside your fool selfs and learn something!  and if you simply can’t stand the quiet around here, go take a peek at the tumblr.

Martin Luther the Kang is looking down and smiling on your from the cross.  be blessed!

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as you may or may not know, i am BEYOND product obsessed.. i waste spend sooo much time on youtube and google, just nosing around in what other naturals are putting in their hair, looking for products i’ve never heard of before.  i just want to try EVERYTHING, and if i cant try it, i want to be able to find somebody who has tried it and see how they liked it or loved it or hated it.

i’ve decided to make my obsession work for all the other obsessed out there and put some reviews of my own out there in the Internets.  my biggest problem right now, though, is that i can’t stop trying new stuff BEFORE i write reviews on stuff that i’ve already tried.  it’s like putting Bruhman from Martin in a room full of sammiches and telling him not to touch any of them.  you can’t do that!!  so i’ve put myself on punishment–no new stuff til i dish on the recently tried stuff.  first up:  JustNatural Organic Care products!

i’d never heard of JustNatural Organic Care before i somehow stumbled onto their website this past December.  when i asked around and found that not many other people had heard of them either, i knew i wanted to give them a try.  i chose three products to try from their natural african american hair section on their website:  the Natural Leave-In Conditioner, the Anti-Humidity Hair Pomade, and the Natural Shine Polish.

the product packaging was very natural and earthy-looking.  aside from the leave-in, each came in its own brown cardboard box affixed with a simple lable & some bright green paper filling. very clean, simple, and no-fuss, which is actually a good way to describe the products themselves.  each is very lightly scented and colored, if at all, and the ingredient listings on each container read more like a grocery list than anything else.  (so much so that my mother, upon reading the ingredients in the pomade, said ‘it sounds like you can eat this!’ and proceeded to taste some.  really.  so if you ever wonder why i’m so weird..)

i washed and deep conditioned, then applied the leave-in.  the Natural Leave-In Conditioner was very creamy, light green, and smelled the way you’d imagine an unscented hair product or cream to smell.  i don’t know how best to describe that.  after smelling it, i gave it the skin test, taking a bit and rubbing it into the back of my hand.  at first it was kind of slick/slippery, and as it absorbed into my hand, it left it feeling moisturized and soft, which is always a good sign.  it made detangling my hair fairly easy–not quite as easy as my Cantu or Trader Joe’s Nourish, but it did a very decent job of providing the slip i need, and i need a LOT because when my hair gets tangled, it gets tangled.  when i put it in my hair, i felt like it was being well moisturized and loved on and cared for.  it just feels good.

i used the anti-humidity hair pomade as as my moisturizer next.  the scent is kind of a lemony patchouli type of scent.  thank goodness it’s light because i HATE patchouli.  texture-wise, the pomade is a firmer-feeling than the leave-in, but it still doesn’t feel the way i’m used to a pomade feeling–something solidly solid, the consistency of beeswax, kind of lightly oily that doesn’t become disbursable until emulsified in your hands.   this pomade is creamy, and when i rubbed it into the back of my other hand, it felt very similar to the leave-in until it absorbed.  it’s much more moisturizing, leaving a shiny sheen and a silkier feeling.  like, i kind of want to use it as a body cream.  lol.  oddly enough, i didn’t really get that same feeling when i put the pomade in my hair.  it didn’t feel bad, but i kind of couldn’t feel its presence in my hair at all.  i wasn’t worried though; my hair is usually funky feeling and looking on wash day; my wash & gos always look better on the 2nd day for whatever reason.

once dry, my hair was very straw-like and dry to the touch, though it looked fine.  i’m pretty sure it was the gel that did this; i’ll try again without it.  it’s also worth it to note that when i used these products, i was in TERRIBLE need of a trim (and still am, really), to the point that my hair often felt and looked dry even when it wasn’t, due to the splitting ends.

the REAL gem of the group, though, was the natural shine polish!  it has a light, fresh orange scent and upon first feel, it’s kind of greasy.  (i sprayed this on the back of my hand too).  but as you rub it in and it gets absorbed, it feels sooo soft.  like somebody sprinkled baby powder and rubbed it around a bit.  the coolest thing about this is that when u first apply it to your hair, it sparkles!  like glitter!  just until it absorbs, but if you’re easily distracted by shiny things like i am, you’ll get a kick out of it.

i didn’t use this with the other two products because i didn’t want to split my attention between too many products.  i decided to use the shine polish spray on my ends for my last bantu knot-out, which have routinely looked like shit due to my jacked up ends, and surprisingly, i got a MUCH smoother set (that’s me w/ the flower in my hair–shiny)!  this is hands down the best product i’ve ever used to deal with rough, split ends, and i can’t wait to use it on the rest of my hair when i get a moment.

so overall, the leave-in and pomade are definitely decent.  i seriously am thinking of using that pomade as a body cream, lol.  i’ll write them and ask if it’s okay first.  if i had to call any of these products a must-buy, it’s DEFINITELY the shine polish (if you can afford to splurge, that is.. at $23, that’s an investment in this economy!).  i’ll definitely be looking for someone to buy me some once i use it all!  which i probably will!  very soon!

check out and buy  JustNatural Organics products for natural hair here!

LOUISVILLE, KY – Beginning February 1, 2011, you won’t be able to find a few things in Louisville area strip clubs–namely nudity, alcohol, and lapdances–three things that pretty much define strip clubs.  Dancers and patrons will also have to stay a minimum of six feet away from each other.

“I think this is racist or sexist or something,” said dancer Dior La’Jenkins.  “This is how I feed my family and pay my tuition.  How am I supposed to get my tips now?  I’m only 5 foot 1, I can’t reach six feet!”  But there is an upside, she said:  “At least I’ll have some time to work on my homework, get some reading done.  Since I’ll be so far away from the customers now, they won’t be able to see what I’m doing anyway.”

We spoke with Leroy Stillwell, owner and proprietor of the Bust-It-Open Boutique Gentleman’s Club and Bar to get his opinion on the upcoming changes.  “Oh well, yeah, it’s terrible, you know.  Especially now–Valentine’s Day is right around the corner, and that’s always been a big money maker.  But it’s okay though.  We’ve got some ideas, we’re being creative,” he added optimistically.  “We’re adding a day care center, hoping that it’ll draw some more customers.  We’re also renting out space to churches and community groups now–we’ve got 1st Corinthian Leather Baptist holding bible study here next Wednesday.  So we’re hoping that will keep folks coming through.”

Asked about the appropriateness of having children and church functions in a strip club, Stillwell commented, “It’s not like there’s anything scandalous happening here anymore with all these new laws.  You can find more sex and salaciousness on basic cable at noon these days.”

He then added, “I’m also changing the name of the club to The Respectable Lady, because really, I might as fucking well.”

—The Impoverished Times

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this guy definitely doesn't look happy to be nappy.

GD of PostBourgie slid this to me in my gchat today and i knew it would be great blog fodder.  this is a young woman who is not at all pleased with the natural hair experience.

some quick thoughts:

-i think there’s a conversation to be had here about the way that natural hair product lines (particularly high priced ones) market their products.  how often do you see (this is an actual question im posing to you all) natural hair product lines featuring models with nappy/kinky/afro’d hair?  go look around the kinky-curly website real quick.  don’t worry, i’ll wait.  actually, i’ll save you some time; they all look like this:

actual pic from actual site

same is true for miss jessie’s, carol’s daughter, and we dont even have to mention mixed chicks, lol.  it seems that the message sent is that natural hair is only beautiful when it’s curly and bouncy.  are companies like these profiting from an idealistic standard of beauty that many can’t achieve, due to dna?  maybe this young lady just thought that using the products she used would make her look like the shiny curly heads in their ads?

-i’m certain that lots of people are going to label this woman self-hating.  is that a fair assessment?  everything just ain’t for everybody, right?  and it’s just hair, right?

i’m very curious and excited to hear what you all think.  let me go put my wet & wavy on a hanger & pull on up to the table.

(sad afro guy via)

like if the alien dude got some proactive.  there he go.