Bronze Trinity

New Hair Routine April 2009!!!

2009-04-16T17:32:00.005-06:00

I have a new hair routine and it actually uses a fewer products and there is less work. My last routine was from November 2008 when I was still transitioning, so this is my new natural hair routine. It is very different from my last routine you can read HERE.
My new way of setting my hair is the braidout.

This is my routine:

1) Friday (or Saturday night) I spray my hair with a water/vegetable glycerine/Infusium/Silk Therapy, Redken Anti-Snap mix that I keep in a spray bottle. I let it soak in and dry.

2) Then I apply Ojon Restorative Treatment to the hair, a hot oil mixture of shea butter/aloe vera gel/oils, or cholesterol deep conditioner (I wash my hair first if I used the cholesterol). Then I cover my head with a plastic cap and a knit hat (to keep my head warm) and I sleep in it overnight.

3) In the morning I wash my hair with Cream of Nature Detangling Conditioning Shampoo or cowash with Suave Tropical Coconut Conditioner.

4) If I used the shampoo then I follow with an apple cider vinegar/honey rinse. I wash the rinse out.

5) Then I apply Tresseme Nourishing Curls conditioner to my hair. I massage it around so its dissolved and foamy. I shake my head to get rid of the drips. Then I get out of the shower without washing the conditioner out! I use Terri's conditioner only method that you can find at www.tightlycurly.com under the heading 'Curly Primer'.

6) I get dressed and maybe eat something while my hair dries a bit.

7) Then I start parting my hair and doing about 15-16 braids around my head. I don't use elastics. This is my secret to awesome ends with perfect coils: When you get down to 1 inch from the end of a twist, twist all the ends just like you were going to do a bantu knot. Then bend it up to form a u-shape. Wrap the end around the twist counterclockwise so you end up with a sort of loop, almost like a tight noose. The next part is key. Use your fingers to gently roll the loop and the wrapped part counterclockwise till you get the coil at the end. All your ends will be coiled.

8) When this is done I put on a satin cap and sleep on my hair as it dries overnight.

9) In the morning I undo the braids and I'm careful not to uncurl the ends (but trust me, the curls stay for quite a while, even if I wet my hair again). I don't comb or rake my fingers through my hair. I massage my scalp to erase the parts on my scalp. I separate the really chunky sections.

10) That night I usually apply a mixture of Megatek and castor oil to my scalp using an applicator bottle.

11) Throughout the week I will spray my hair with the water/vegetable glycerine/Infusium/Silk Therapy, Redken Anti-Snap mix when it feels dry.

12) When the curls don't look as defined in the morning I will splash a little water on it. This makes the curls form again and the ends are still coiled. My hair will look naturally coily but there will be some shrinkage.

13) The next Friday or Saturday I repeat the regimin. See, much simpler than the last regimin and I used fewer products too. I am only washing once a week but applying water or leave-in daily.

The sheabutter/aloe vera gel/oil mix is actually a mixture I made to put on my hair that I am using for hot oil treatments now. I found out the hard way that when I do the conditioner only method I can not use gels or butters afterwards or else I end up with little white chunks in my hair. For a few weeks I was doing finger coils using curl activator gels, but it just wasn't compatible with the conditioner only method. But I still get coily hair if I do a braidout, and I think it actually looks more natural and fuller because the coils are on stretched hair.

Products I use:

Moisturizing Spray: Water/vegetable glycerine/Infusium/Silk Therapy/ Redken Anti-Snap.

Leave in Moisturizer: None!

Scalp Oil: Megatek with Castor oil.

Oil Moisturizer: None!

Pre-shampoo treatment: Ojon Restorative Hair Treatment, shea butter/aloe vera gel/oils. Pre-Shampoo treatments are a MUST****

Shampoo: Cream of Nature Detangling Conditioning Shampoo. No sodium laurel sulphates ever!!! Apple cider vinegar/honey rinse.

Co-wash Conditioner: Suave Tropical Coconut Conditioner.

Conditioner: Tresemme Nourishing Curls or Herbal Essences Hello Hydration. I sometimes use Hello Hydration as a leave in cream when I am coiling the ends of my braids for braidouts.

Creating Black Americans

2009-04-08T11:02:00.003-06:00

I finally finished the book 'Creating Black Americans: African-American History and its Meanings, 1619 to the Present' by Nell Irvin Painter. I can sum up my opinion of the book by saying this is the most important history book I have ever read! This is 392 pages(without notes and references) of essential information about the experience and history of Black people in the United States from the very first time our people set foot in the country. If there was any important figure you wanted to know about that person is mentioned in this book, including Harriet Tubman, Frederick Douglas, W.E.B. DuBois, Fannie Lou Hamer, Crispus Attucks, Phyllis Wheatley, James Baldwin, Amiri Baraka, Booker T. Washington, Marcus Garvey, Mary McLeod Bethune, Elderidge Cleaver, Malcolm X, Martin Luther King Jr., Angela Davis, Abu-Jamal Mumia, and so many others who's names you have probably heard before. I have heard many of the names before but I did not know what the person did or why I should know about them. I am so glad I know who these people are now! Never let anyone tell you African Americans have never achieved anything, we have no role models, or we have no heroes. These people are my heroes! The book showed me how strong our people are and how much they had to fight, survive, and overcome. I swear, African people have had to overcome more than anyone on earth! I am so proud of these people and I know that their struggles, sacrifices, and deaths have made my life possible!

If there is any historical event you want to know about, it is in this book. Creating Black Americans is actually a text book. It has 15 chapters including an Epilogue, timelines at the end of each chapter, and discussion questions to think about. It covers our beginnings in Africa, the TransAtlantic Slave Trade, the Civil War and Emancipation, Reconstruction, Segregation, the Harlem Renaissance, The World Wars, The Civil Rights Era, Black Power, and the Hip Hop Era. I think that this is a book that should be in the home of every Black family around the world. It is something that I would like to have for my future children. I hope to add similar books about Africa and the Caribbean to my collection.

One ingenious feature of the book is that Nell Irvin Painter included African American art to illustrate the book. Each piece reflected on a historical event, important person, or feeling created by an African American artist. This is the first book I have ever read that had information about African-American art! The art is beautiful and it includes, paintings, sculptures, collages, quilts and even poetry! Some of the art is realistic but a lot of it is abstract and full of emotion. I made a point to take my time looking at the art pieces to really appreciate them. This is an ideal choice for an African American history book because it is a lesson in history that includes art history!

I found this book in my university library. For the past couple of years I have been going into the African and African American history sections and just walking around, looking at the books. If I saw something I liked I would sign it out. I never did keyword searches for a topic or book, I just looked until I found something. That way I got to know the different topics and sections where I would like to learn more. I saw Creating Black Americans and the cover was new and it was a recent book from 2007. I'm so glad I found it because it was the foundation for African American history that I really needed. I have read other things, but I wanted something general that covered EVERYTHING not just particular parts of the history. This book gave me that. In the future I'm going to buy a copy and read it again. Reading this book was like taking an African American history class!

What I have to say to Nell Irvin Painter is that I am so glad that there are educated people like her who took the time to pass on this knowledge to the world. Her book in written in such a way that someone with a highschool education could understand it and the art is a brilliant touch! It was truly a gift to read this book and if I were Dr. Painter I would feel I really did something wonderful! I want to thank her for teaching me about the history of my people. I feel more complete now. I realize that NONE of this information was taught to me in history class in Canada. I didn't learn anything about Black people at school. I didn't really understand who I was until I finished reading this book! This is a must read for everyone because African American history IS HISTORY and should be a part of every American and world history program. Thank you Dr. Painter for spreading the knowledge and lifting the ignorance from my eyes!

Brutally Honest Big Chop Hair Experience

2009-02-20T11:10:00.003-06:00

Hi everyone :) So last night I was anxious awaiting some information about school so I was restless. I started adding some styling cream to my hair to see if I could smooth out my roots to blend in with my relaxed ends. My relaxed ends were getting so tangled, last week I chopped off a few inches, and it was just annoying twisting and curling the hair and trying to keep the curls up in between washes. I was tired of doing it and didn't feel like waiting three more months.I became curious about what my coils would look like so I cut off some hair on the left side of my head. It looked okay and the coils were pretty defined.

Then I put a lot of water in my hair (to reveal the line of demarcation between my natural hair and relaxed hair). I cut more hair on the side left side but...I didn't like what I saw. I have 5 inches of growth because I transitioned for 8 months, but I had so much shrinkage it looked like only 1 inch!!! I was freaking out because I don't like my hair that short. It was not shiny and it did look like wool. I started thinking if I straightened my hair then it could look okay, I don't know why I decided to do this transition in the first place, and I should immediately call to get braids put in. I also thought about that article someone posted about how natural hair is not accepted in the Dominican Republic and I asked myself why I decided I didn't want to follow the crowd, why did I want to possibly subject myself to discrimination and ridicule, and why did I want to be a role model. I felt that having a big fluffy fro would be years away and wondered why I decided to do this now, when I'm 30 and single because it might make it harder for me to find a man. I just didn't feel good and I'm being honest here. I didn't cry or anything, I just wasn't feeling all liberated and wonderful. I wondered what the people at school would say.

But I knew I had to finish the whole thing and I did. I did the big chop at about 1:30 am. Honestly when it was done I didn't like what I saw. So I decided to do twists to stretch out the hair. I still have them in now but I'll take them out soon and see the results. It made me feel better because I could see the length when I was twisting. My hair seemed INCREDIBLY thick, like a solid mass. When I ran my fingers over my head all of the hair seemed to move because there was no space! I couldn't finger comb my hair so I guess that will only be done in the shower. It felt okay though.

So I'll see how the twist out looks and it will be my first all natural twist out. It was cool that I could circle the ends around my finger and the twists actually stayed. I think it will look okay. I have been wearing a curly fro for the past 8 months so maybe my hair won't look that much shorter. Its fitting that I did this during Black History Month. I can't wait to see the twist out because then I won't feel that I did something too drastic.

Update:
I undid my twists and there was less shrinkage but my hair was still really short. I decided to take photos. I realized that accessories like flowers, scarves, and hair pins made a big difference and it looks better if I part my hair and make the top look bigger. Its okay. I want to grow it out a lot more, but I can finally say my hair transition is over! Maybe my hair will look even better when I do the twists on clean hair using a better gel next time.

Am I Bored with Blogging?

2009-02-09T16:33:00.004-06:00

I think I have finally gotten bored with blogging. I don't think its a bad thing though. I still really like to read other people's blogs and commenting, but I just don't feel like making my own blog entries. I think its good because it means I'm not struggling with my identity the way I was before and I never feel so depressed or angry that I have to do a rant. I think I'm just happier with myself and my life.

I'm still learning about African Diaspora history and I will finish a great book and do a review probably next month. I just don't think there is a lot I want to write about. I'd rather just read things. I think I've been blogging for 4 years now and my blogs have changed from a place to talk about tech stuff and web art, ranting and seeking support about my personal crises, a place to promote activism, and now to a place to explore my African identity. That just shows how my interests and focus has changed. At first the blog was shallow and just for fun, then it was a place where I could get the support I wasn't getting in real life, then it became a place where I wanted to help others, and now its just about me. I think I am a better person because of blogging so I guess I don't regret anything :)

My Hair Routine November 2008

2008-11-25T13:44:00.001-06:00

I stopped relaxing my hair after May 2008. I can not believe its been six months already!!! I do not plan to do a big chop because I want to keep my length and not start all over again. My hair is about 3 inches above bra strap length.

I used to get a mild lye (sodium hydroxide) relaxer but the stylist underprocessed the hair. That was lucky because my hair became thick and still had some s-curl in it. It makes it easier to transition because my hair isn't bone straight. I think my natural hair is 4a (s-curls and coils).

My main hair style is done using what I call twist tucks that give me a curly fro. I section my hair into about 8-10 sections. Then I do a two-strand twist for each section. Then I curl each twist up (sort of into a ball) and tuck it into the roots of the hair. In the morning I undo the twists, separate the hair, and use a small plastic pick to pick the hair. I find its softer and easier to manipulate if I don't use gel. I learned this from the Dr. Akbari Youtube Video. Check out Youtube to see how other sistas rock this fanstastic style!

This is my routine:

1) Friday (or Saturday night) I spray my hair with a water/vegetable glycerine/Infusium/Silk Therapy mix that I keep in a spray bottle.

2) I detangle my hair section by section with a wide-tooth comb and brush it with a boar bristle brush. I usually detangle once or twice a week and I don't brush or comb in between.

3) I apply Ojon Restorative Treatment to the hair. Then I cover my head with a plastic cap and a knit hat (to keep my head warm) and I sleep in it overnight.

4) In the morning I wash my hair with Cream of Nature Detangling Conditioning Shampoo or cowash with Suave Tropical Coconut Conditioner.

5) Then I apply a conditioner and rinse it out. I like Redken Smooth Down Butter Treat, and Kerastase Nutritive Nurtidefense Antidryness (its really expensive but I got it cheap), or Herbal Essences Hello Hydration. I am weening myself off the salon products so in the future it will probably be the Herbal Essences all the time.

6) Then I wrap my head in a towel turban (I don't rub) and I leave it on my head for maybe a half hour.

7) I apply a mix of jojoba oil/shea butter/olive oil/coconut oil to my scalp and massage it in.

8) I spray my hair with the water/vegetable glycerine/Infusium/Silk Therapy mix and rub some Neutrogena Triple Moisture Leave-in into the hair.

9) Section by section I apply a shea butter/coconut oil mix to my hair and do a curly fro. Thats it! In the middle of the week I redo my curly fro. I can go 5 days without redoing it if I am really busy, I just apply the shea butter/coconut oil mix daily to keep the hair from getting too dry.

Products I use:

Moisturizing Spray: Water/vegetable glycerine/Infusium/Silk Therapy with cherry fragrance. I use this up so fast!

Leave in Moisturizer: Neutrogena Triple Moisture Leave-in. Works really well!!!

Scalp Oil: Jojoba oil/shea butter/olive oil/coconut oil mix. I add some tea tree oil and eucalyptus oil to it to preserve the mixture. I also add some cherry fragrance. Next time I will use peppermint instead of eucalyptus oil because I don't like the way it smells.

Oil Moisturizer: Shea butter/coconut oil mix***. I add some tea tree oil and eucalyptus oil to it to preserve the mixture. I also add some vanilla oil and cherry fragrance. I love this stuff! I am so glad I stopped using products with mineral oil and petrolatum!!!

Pre-shampoo treatment: Ojon Restorative Hair Treatment. I might use coconut oil sometimes. Pre-Shampoo treatments are a MUST****

Shampoo: Cream of Nature Detangling Conditioning Shampoo. No sodium laurel sulphates ever!!!

Co-wash Conditioner: Suave Tropical Coconut Conditioner.

Conditioner: Redken Smooth Down Butter Treat, Kerastase Nutritive Nurtidefense Antidryness, or Herbal Essences Hello Hydration.

I Am Obsessed With Natural Hair

2008-11-21T16:21:00.004-06:00

Well its been a while since I have posted anything personal. Thats because I had to do some things for school that were pretty stressful. On top of that, watching and reading about the U.S. election was taking up a lot of my time. A day couldn't go by before I had to have another Obama fix. I have never watched so much CNN in my life and I actually know all the hosts' and pundits' names! So for a while there I didn't feel the need to write anything. I was enjoying what other people wrote. I also didn't have much to complain or rant about. After the Obama win I was just feeling really high and elated, so I wanted to enjoy and just read about how other people felt.

Aside from those things, I didn't have anything to write about because I have become so focused...on my hair! Other women read about fashion or make-up, but my beauty focus is on my transitioning hair. I watch as many YouTube videos about natural hair as I can. I LOVE IT! Never before did I have any information about natural hair or styling tutorials so now I can't get enough of them. I have subscribed to African American beauty and hair blogs to read tips and see photos. I watch many YouTube videos and I subscribe to many channels now that are just about natural hair.

I love experimenting with commercial products, natural products, moisturizing techniques, styling techniques, and just getting to know my hair. I think about it all the time. I love it when I have to re-style my hair, or pre-condition it because thats when I like to experiment. I like to see how I look with clips, flowers, and jeweled broaches in my hair and if it looks bad I know I won't have to leave the house looking that way. I also like to see how different my hair looks depending on how much or little I pick it out. I fantasize about how it will look in a few years, after I transition and my hair has grown. Hair is my new fashion accessory and it interests me more than any other thing I wear. I'm still exercising and trying to lose weight though. I want my fit body to stand out too. I guess I'm focusing on my natural beauty instead of clothes and accessories. I want to be healthy, beautiful, and radiant, and no fancy dress can provide that.

I just feel SO GOOD about going natural. My hair has never been in as good a condition as it is in now. My natural hair is soft and manageable. I was hard, dry, and impossible to comb when I was still relaxing because I would just let the roots get dry and use cheap petroleum products on it. One product that has really helped the condition of my hair is called Ojon. Its a must for me as a pre-treatment before I shampoo (laurel sulfate free shampoo) or cowash. I also love the shea butter/coconut oil mix I put on my hair. It keeps the hair feeling moisturized and firm instead of dry and weak. I love my hair now and before I never really did. I am just trying to keep myself from colouring my hair because that would cause damage and it might not come out the way I want anyway. I won't colour until my transition is over...atleast thats what I'm saying today.

Here are two great video from Naturalnana who I subscribe to. She makes amazing natural hair videos that helped me to get used to the idea that being natural can be really gorgeous and glamorous.

If You Are Outraged about the Tavis Smiley Blog Contest...Get a Grip and Relax!

2008-11-20T12:30:00.002-06:00

Okay so Tavis Smiley is having a State of the Black Union Blogger Contest and several bloggers are offended by the contest and how it has been advertised. I can't find where it is advertised but there are some comments about it on Black Web 2.0 and the Dallas South Blog.

I first have to state that I have never watched the Tavis Smiley show. From what I have read on blogs, some bloggers don't like him because he chewed out Sen. Obama for not being able to appear at the State of the Black Union last year and would not accept Michelle Obama in his place. Hillary Clinton was able to go and I'm not sure if John McCain was there. I don't think Smiley was a supporter of Barack Obama either and I think he criticized Obama a lot.

This is my opinion about the whole thing. Oh come on you guys! Its just a contest! Other people who are casual bloggers and consider it to be a hobby might want to enter just to see what happens. I don't think there's any point getting offended by it. He could have had a contest to win a computer or a vacation trip or something. Some people, maybe newer bloggers, will not be offended by the contest and they might actually enjoy meeting the people mentioned.

Is it really necessary to be outraged and offended by the slightest thing? Try to be optimistic and look on the bright side. Its a contest directed towards Black Bloggers, isn't that great? People are free to ignore and not enter the contest. There are probably other blog competitions and contests that aren't oriented towards Black bloggers at all and this is the first one I have seen (other than the Black Weblog Awards).

Some people might not like Tavis Smiley...so what? The prize in the contest is not a date with Tavis Smiley right? Its just a contest that he didn't have to offer in the first place. Some bloggers might feel that they don't need or want the attention, but some might want it and enjoy the chance of a lifetime in meeting some of those famous people. Its not for everyone. Its supposed to be FUN not an exhibit of the best and most influential bloggers chosen to represent the Black blogosphere. If that was what he was looking for it would have been more of a writing contest, or he would have just sought out influential bloggers. Its a first step. Someone else may come up with a better contest.

Remember, even though you may think your writing is important and that you are influential, there are billions of people who have never heard of you or your causes. I'm sure like there are influential activists and writers all over the world who you have never heard of. Relax people, be happy, its no big deal! Go Obama!

So Proud of Barack Obama I can't express it with words...

2008-11-05T00:14:00.004-06:00

Thanks to deedee_dancer for creating this beautiful icon. Yes we can!!! I can really believe it now!!!!

Updates

2008-08-26T12:16:00.003-06:00

Hi to anyone who reads this blog :)

Well the summer is coming to an end and I'll have a lot of work to do this semester at school. I enjoyed wasting time over the summer and relaxing but now I think that's over. But at least this will be my last year of school so I'm glad.

I'm keeping up with my African Diaspora readings and I really should have read more. One great thing happened though. I was in a second hand store and I managed to get copies of the biographies of Angela Davis, Malcolm X, Frederick Douglas, and Dick Gregory! I couldn't believe I found them in such a small city. I got them all very cheap. Some of the copies are actually from the 60s and they are in good condition. I was so happy when I found them. But I'm saving them to read once I finish school so that I can concentrate on books in the university library while I still have access.

I'm doing okay with the natural hair thing. But I've noticed some breakage and that my hair isn't as elastic as it was when I first started to transition. I need more moisture and less protein. Coconut oil helps prevent protein loss so maybe I'm using too much of it and there is too much protein in my hair. I'll cut down the hot oil treatments to once or twice a month. I really liked having hair that felt elastic because I never had that before when I was trying to have my hair straight. I ordered this product called Ojon last week after seeing it on The Shopping Channel. I remembered hearing about it on blogs and on forums. It hasn't arrived in the mail yet but it had better work! It was $29 and came up to $40 with the taxes and shipping and handling! Its supposed to last about six months so thats a good thing. I hope it really is the magical cure to any hair problem I might have.

I'm also worried a bit about the election. Barack Obama can not lose and its really bugging me the way the media is saying its so close and that it shouldn't be that close. I think thats bull crap. He has to win, I need to see that man all over the place. Michelle Obama's speech at the convention was amazing yesterday. She is a great lady. I actually cried during her video tribute when her mother was narrating. I also cried a bit when Michelle talked about Barack driving her home after she gave birth. I wish I could be a woman like Michelle. She's amazing and I want people to leave her alone. They just can't take a smart, educated, poised, assertive, successful Black woman. They have to tear her down. Those people suck!

Being Xenophobic May be Harmful but Having a Preference for Black People May Be Beneficial

2008-08-13T09:51:00.009-06:00

Black Women Blow the Trumpet had an interesting post on her blog called Sistas Confronting Arrehenphobic and Xenophobic Lives. Here is an excerpt (please visit the blog to read the rest):

Many black women believe that they are hiding their fear of white men. Their inner fear is more obvious than they think. It crops up in their comments about white men. It is reflected in the stereotypes that they embrace that perpetuate the notion that white people are a monolithic group:
All white men think the same things.
All white men do the same things.
All white men harbor bigoted attitudes.
All white men relate to black women in the same way.
All white men have the same character.

You know that you have heard attitudes reflected that convey those sentiments. Those views are astonishingly ignorant but they are very prevalent in the black community.

Many black women were taught to distrust white men. It is rare to harbor deep distrust without an element of fear encroaching. Distrust and fear are often intertwined. For many generations, black women planted fear in their own daughters because they felt it would help to enforce their directive: "Stay away from those white people."

The post goes on to explain the need to have a more multicultural education, to travel and experience other cultures, and to expand our thinking. It also explains that some of the past reasons why Black people advised each other to 'stick with their own' are no longer necessary and that it may actually be harmful to limit oneself to the Black community. The reason why I am making this post is because I was caught off guard by Lisa's article. Not because it was wrong, but because it was the exact opposite of what I was thinking and what I would advise other Black people to do! This is because we had totally different upbringings and grew up in different environments. I made two long comments to the post so I think I'll post them here and elaborate in some areas. I think it is helpful for me to examine my attitudes and why I have them.

This is an edited version of what I wrote on Black Women Blow the Trumpet:

Its so strange but my views about everything she wrote are the exact opposite! All the things she is encouraging Black women to do I would encourage the opposite. It depends on how and where you grew up. If you lived in an insulated place where everyone was Black and you were only exposed to Black culture then it might be beneficial to be exposed to other cultures (European culture wouldn't be my first choice because I think Black people in all Western countries are exposed to enough European culture already).

I would advocate associating with your own and focusing more on Black culture if you are a person like me who grew up in a community that was predominantly White and Asian. I didn't know anything about my own culture so I was actually averse to it! It was unhealthy because I ignored a part of myself, didn't know how to relate to my own people, and didn't know who I really was. I was a fake person preoccupied with other people who didn't care much about me or Black people in general unless they acted White.

Just like other experiences and ideas, everything in moderation. Too much travel and interest in other cultures detracts from knowing your own culture so that you are not around to help your own people, while the people you admire help each other to get by (but they don't realize it and are quick to jump on you if you do the same thing). Too much of one's own culture can limit world knowledge and experiences just as she explained.

I think part of the reason why Black people are having certain problems now is because they have absorbed too much of the Western notion of individuality to a point where each person is only interested in personal gain and not helping others. It may not hurt someone in the majority, but when you are in the minority, helping each other and sticking together is essential for survival. What would happen if Black college and university students decided to stop taking Africana studies, studying Black issues and communities, choosing to work in or help Black communities, and stopped taking interest in Black culture? I remember reading an article about the programs Black students choose in university. Most of the Black students choose the field of education. The article painted that choice as something negative because not enough Black people were going into physics, engineering, and a wide range of studies that would only be indirectly involved with Black people. They were career fields that would probably take people away from Black communities. Because our education system and universities are Eurocentric (most HBCUs were Eurocentric in their subject matter until the 1960s when students protested and demanded Black studies) I think it would be impossible for the study of European ideas and achievements to end in the Western world. But I could imagine Black studies shrinking if Black people chose to only study other cultures. I could imagine Black communities getting worse if Black students choose to study and work in a field that did not benefit Black communities. There is already a problem with non-Black people running the Black hair care industry and owing businesses in communities. If we don't nave people focusing on Black people then who will write the books and teach the world about us? We all know that other people have been incredibly awful in their teachings about us. Who is going to teach our children about being Black if the parents don't think Black culture and knowledge is important?

My parents are from Guyana so they grew up in a country that was majority Black and everyone around them was Black. I think that because of that they didn't think they needed to instill black consciousness in me (I'm just guessing they thought if I was Black then I would grow up thinking and acting like them). I'm not sure what they know about Africa or what formal education they had about Black people and issues because we never discussed it. They probably had a Westernized education too. But I don't recall any books about the Caribbean, Africa, or great Black thinkers in my home. They studied business and accounting so all their text books were about business, accounting, and management.

My point is that I don't think they overtly taught that 'White was right' but I think they took for granted that they needed to purposefully teach me being Black was okay given everything else was teaching me Black was not okay or Black history, achievement, and issues should be ignored.

All of my parents friends were other Black Guyanese people and they always wanted me to mix with their friends' kids and other Black people at school. But because of the multicultural and anti-racist teachings at school I interpreted that as their being racist, unable to mix with other people, and wanting me to be racist too! (I can even recall a public service announcement where a White mother told her kid to play with a White kid instead of a Black kid. The child asked why and the woman realized she was being racist. That was what I thought about my parents pressuring me to be friends with Black kids!). My best friend is Chinese and she feels the same way about Asians who only stick together.

It was like we (and many other kids I grew up with) thought it was racist to only have friends of the same race and to only do projects about one's home country. In fact, I can recall times when a teacher told a particular student to choose another topic outside of their culture because the student already knew so much about their own culture. It was fine to study Europeans all the time, but some kids were discouraged from always doing projects on their own culture as if it was cheating or something. In gradschool one incident I recall is a First Nations student being told to not do a presentation on a First Nations issue because she knew so much about First Nations people already. In another incident a White student was reluctant to do an assignment about a First Nations issue and though it would be better for the First Nations student to do the study and that he shouldn't have to do the work. Do you see! The student was discouraged from studying her own culture and a White student didn't want to study her culture either! The White professor and student were making it clear to the student that First Nations issues were not 'appropriate' for study.

Many people also thought it was racist to only date within one's race and it seemed like somewhere we were taught to have open minds about dating and that it was racist and ignorant to only want to date within one's race. There was this whole group of people who rejected their own as partners and preferred dating outside their race and no one thought there was any draw backs to that or that it wasn't actually racist. You've probably heard kids say 'if everyone married someone of another race then after a while we would all look the same and there would be no racism'. There was also the common opinion that biracial children were more attractive. So I and many people I knew made a point of straying away from our own cultures in an attempt to aspire at some non-racist beautiful society. There are so many of my Asian and Black friends who married White guys its really evident. I would go so far as to say over 70% of my Black and Asian female friends are married to someone outside their race or dating almost exclusively outside their race.

The problem at regular school was that at the time Black, Asian, Indian, and Middle-Eastern students rarely noticed or questioned the fact that their cultures were rarely if ever taught at school. I remember learning about the middle ages, the Renaissance, native peoples, the European feudal system, doing a project on Costa Rica, doing assignments on European historical figures etc. and I don't recall any other students studying their own cultures or one other than European. Its like we all somehow learned it wasn't appropriate for school and in school only White is right. I remember always drawing White people because that's what everyone else drew and no one ever questioned why I was doing that. Everyone did that. Sometimes if I drew a group of people I would put in some different races, but only a few so that it maintained the ratio of majority White to minorities. No teacher or student ever questioned this. It was like a blind-spot for everyone where we didn't think we were missing anything. I believed that if there was anything important to teach about Black people then our teachers would have covered those subjects. They didn't so I thought there was nothing to learn. I think that my parents didn't know what I was learning in school or understand what it was like to be a minority in school. In such a situation I think its necessary to give some enrichment studies in one's culture. Some students did go to Greek, or Chinese school on the weekends and I you know what, those kids tended to stick with their own!

This is a very interesting topic. Everything has to be in moderation. I think it is very difficult to have pro-Black attitudes in communities where Black people are a minority. It think its very difficult to be conscious about Blackness in such situations. I think there are probably studies to back this up. I'll be on the look out for some.

Natural Hair Transition Updates

2008-08-12T12:19:00.012-06:00

Hi there to anyone who actually reads this blog :)

Well this is just an update about how I am progressing in my transition from relaxed to natural hair.First of all I decided to go natural with my hair and I haven't relaxed my hair in over 3 months! I'm moisturizing my hair a lot using natural products I mixed myself. I also trimmed my hair myself last week.

This is my hair routine:
1) Friday night do an extra-virgin coconut oil hot oil treatment. I heat up the oil for 30 seconds in the microwave and apply the oil to my dry hair using a small bottle. I cover my hair with a plastic cap, a plastic bag, and a winter hat to keep my head a bit warm (don't worry it doesn't keep me too hot). When I sleep I put a garbage bag over my pillow to keep the oil from soaking into it. I cover the bag with a pillow case so that my head doesn't slide around and my face doesn't stick to the bag. Then I also place a towel over the pillow. The last thing you want is an oily pillow or mattress people.
2) In the morning in front of the sink, I add some water to my hair. Then section by section I add an inexpensive conditioner to the hair and use a wide tooth comb to detangle the sections. Some people detangle when they condition their hair in the shower but it takes me too long and it uses up too much hot water for me.
3) I then enter the shower and shampoo with Cream of Nature Detangling Shampoo because it has no sodium lauryl sulphates that dry out hair.
3) Then I condition my hair with TIGI Bedhead Control Freak conditioner. I add glycerine, jojoba oil and olive oil to it. I also use Redken Smooth Down conditioner and I prefer it but right now I'm cutting back on buying refils and new products and I'm trying to work with what I have.
4) After conditioning I towel dry my hair. I usually just leave the towel on my head for a hour or half an hour. I may rub my head a bit with the towel.
5) I spray my hair with my leave-in conditioner mixture that contains water, glycerine, Infusium, SilkTherapy, and some cherry fragrance.
6) Then I apply my scalp oil I made that contains coconut oil, shea butter, olive oil, jojoba oil, tea tree oil, eucalyptus oil, and cherry fragrance.
7) Then I separate my hair into sections. I apply a conditioning gel mixture of aloe vera gel, shea butter, coconut oil, tea tree oil, and cherry fragrance to each section. I detangle the hair again and then do a twist set for each section using the method shown in the video below. I sleep with my hair set overnight so that it can dry.

8) In the morning I untwist my hair and separate the strands into a nice curly do. I don't moisturize again because it loosens the curls out. I want to wear the style for a few days, but I think I have to re-moisturize and redo the set every night so my hair doesn't dry out.
Here are two other ladies who use this technique (my results look like theirs rather than like the lady in the first video): Ladykpnyc's curly fro, and CurlyChronicles curly fro. This style allows me to make my relaxed hair look natural so my transition to natural will not be so obvious.

Although I would love to colour my hair I know that it would be too damaging. I just see so many photos of natural hair that is highlighted and I really like it. I used Colora Henna Gel a month ago in auburn, but you can barely see it. Under the light I guess it shines a reddish brown, but my hair pretty much looks black. I also watch the show Half and Half a lot with Rachel True so it makes me want to colour so bad! The great collage on the right is from a blog called Treat. I am really liking my natural hair. I got a compliment on it last week. I'm going to like being a kinky-curly girl because they are so cute!

The Differences Between Afrospear and the Afrosphere Bloggers Association

2008-08-07T11:10:00.001-06:00

This is a post I originally made on October 15, 2007. That was a long time ago. Shortly after I posted this I stopped blogging for seven months, closed down my blog, resigned from Afrospear, and stopped internet activism entirely. In reading some recent blog posts about the groups I formerly belonged to I decided to repost my this blog entry. Why should I hide my blog post when others do not? I put in a lot of work for these groups and I think some members are still taking swipes at me and I'm not there to defend myself. So I'm putting this up so people can judge for themselves. I had time before to try to be an internet activist but I don't have time anymore. The time for me to make a real difference over the internet has passed. I think I could have achieved a lot. But now I'm glad I quit because from what I'm reading on the internet, Afrospear has gone in a direction I would never have followed. I don't think anyone is working on the Afrosphere Bloggers Association either since I stopped initiating things and that really saddens me. It also shows that many of the things I complained about and predicted below have now become apparent to both groups. The original post appears below.

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Update 4:13 pm: I don't want to have a leadership role in Afrospear or ABA anymore. This will free up my time to exercise, read, and hang out with my friends. I'm thinking I'll wait for other members to build up these groups before I spend any more time on them so maybe a month or two. I've put enough work in.

This is about my personal perceptions. I HATE posting about this on my blog because I don't think that internal group discussions should be posted on blogs. I do not want to hurt Afrospear or ABA by making internal conflicts public for disinterested parties to scrutinize. Its not good conflict management to bring non-involved parties into the discussion. But I think this is a critical time. I'm worried that not enough people would read this if I posted it on the ABA forum and that the discussion would become too out of control if it was done on the Listserv, so a blog is the best place for this at this time. After it can be removed.

I am a member of Afrospear but I am having strong reservations about it and ABA as well. Before someone says "If you don't like it then quit" I'll stop you because although I don't want to run Afrospear and I'm having difficulty with what the group has become, I want to network and help all people of the African Diaspora (even the ones I don't get along with). Depending on how this works out I may have to quit or rarely participate in Afrospear and some of you will probably be glad. I don't want to make decisions for Afrospear because it has recently become something that doesn't fit with what I want. I want to be a member who doesn't participate much because I don't see the world the way the most vocal people in Afrospear do. I think that its important to examine those reservations and see if anyone else agrees so that I can see that its just not me. There were things about Afrospear I didn't like from the beginning and I think all of those things have led me to have a negative view of it. But first maybe it will help to explain how ABA came about from the very beginning based on what I remember. I will use names because this needs to get out so people can understand what I am explaining. Sorry if you feel attacked or called out but this is what happened as I remember (some of you were there) so these are the facts with some of my personal interpretations.

How I Became involved in Afrospear

During the Spring I became interested in Black bloggers and started to read their blogs. Then someone, maybe Francis Holland said that Black bloggers were forming a group called Afrospear and that I should join. People were saying that the Spear was ready to strike and that it would become a powerful way for Black bloggers to help the African diaspora. I thought that maybe it would be like the new NAACP, or the Black version of Moveon.org so I was super excited about getting involved and being invited. There was no website or anything yet.

So many Black bloggers became interested and said they wanted to join. I think they created a symbol and started a blog roll. So if you were a member you were on the blogroll. So then we waited and the Afrospear Think Tank was created. It started out with the blog owners explaining who they were. I thought 'okay, whats the point of this? When are we getting to the plans?' So I waited. The Sylvia made a post criticizing the NAACP's burial of the N-word. It was very brief and just critiquing them for doing something she did not think would work. That was when some bloggers and I questioned the purpose of the Think Tank and why we had to become members to read someone's blog. At that time arguments began about who the Afrospear Circle (the writers on the Think Tank) and Nation (the members) were and why there was that division. Heated discussion went back and forth about what it meant to be a member, who the leaders were, what the purpose of the blog and group were, how much of a say members would have in the group, and so on. Before that the Think Tank made a Mission Statement I think and during the discussions it was frequently referenced. After a while it all died down.

However, I didn't think that a group would work if everything was only discussed and planned on a blog. Plus I didn't think that members had equal say on the blog compared to the Circle. So I thought maybe the group needed an online forum to discuss and plan things. So I looked into free forums, compared some of them, and chose JConserv to be the Afrospear forum where the members could discuss things. It was meant for all members including the Circle. But for a while after I announced the forum I saw that almost all of the circle members did not join. I wondered if they thought they were not welcome, if they wanted to work separately, if it was because they didn't like me or maybe they just had not gotten around to joining. So I asked them about it. That was when Sylvia, Asa, Freeslave, and other members got into an argument with me and accused me of various things like trying to co-opt the group, that I had a big ego and needed to be recognized, I was too sensitive, that I was a trouble maker, they didn't have to join any forum, I have no right to ask them, and so on.

So that was the second time I felt attacked on the Think Tank so I decided that I would no longer comment there. Because the Circle members did not want membership on the forum to be a requirement of Afrospear membership I stated that it was optional. So we continued to work and plan on the forum while the Think Tank had their blog. It went like that for a while. I don't know of any other changes on the Think Tank so it seemed as though from that point on we were working separately. At some point after that Sylvia started a an Afrosphere Listserve on Google and people joined that and the forum and they were packaged together.

Then a day came where Pastor Tatum a friend of Eddie Griffin I think, asked to join the Afrospear. Francis Holland was opposed because he was a Republican. That began a discussion about who should be allowed in Afrospear. But on the forum members had already discussed this and Mark Bey and I had already summarized regulations like this and created a FAQ so that these things would be known. It was hours of work over several weeks. This was going backwards for us. So after a heated argument it was decided that the Afrosphere Bloggers Association (the name for the forum that we voted on before hand) would become the name of a separate group that could operate under different rules and goals. So that was how ABA was created.

Current Problems with Both Groups

So I am a member of both groups and both groups have had problems in my opinion. The common problem in both groups is that there is a lack of participation by the majority of members with the exception of maybe 5 or 6. Its always the same people posting on the forum or the listserv. However, I find that when it happens on the forum particular members like AAPP and Francis Holland are quick to criticize that when thats exactly what happens with Afrospear. A small group of people respond and make decisions. Its like as soon as September came around participation in both groups plummeted. I think that there is a growing animosity between the groups because of conflicts between specific individuals (I know I am responsible for some of it). Some of it has to do with my major conflict with Francis Holland and probably with AAPP as well.

At first I wanted Afrospear (and later ABA) to make decisions and be like a real organization. So I found, read, and posted internet articles about activism, online activism, organizing, and decision-making. Then we used those suggestions to try to organize things. Members like Francis Holland were opposed to reading these articles because he said he was experienced as an activist and didn't need to learn anything. Former members like Terry Howcott complained that she could not navigate the forum even though she had only been there once. Mark Bey and I read them so we both had similar ideas about what to do in the group. We tried to facilitate and organize things on the forum for easy navigation but it would always be impossible for anyone who only visited once and didn't try any of the functions.

Some of us also brainstormed questions and answers especially about how the group should run. So we sent more than one email to members asking them to visit the forum and contribute ideas and opinions, and to vote on various decisions. Only a small group did. Some members like AAPP complained that they were not given enough time even though they were given 2 weeks. So based on the suggestions and votes of the people who participated we decided on rules based on what the majority said. After the fact some members like AAPP complained that they should have had more time and that we needed quorum to decide on anything. However, when we asked for suggestions beforehand AAPP did not mention these things and participated by providing comments and voting. So I'm going to summarize some differences that I notice between Afrospear and ABA at this point in time.

1) Afrospear is mainly driven by a small group of American male bloggers. ABA is mainly driven by me a Canadian, two other male administrators, and some members but as of late I am the most active. There are males and females in both groups but females seem to be more vocal in ABA.

2) The most vocal members of Afrospear are lawyers, businessmen, or former Black Panther members. The most vocal members of ABA are a Canadian Ph.D. student in clinical psychology, another Ph.D. student, and another blogger, Mark Bey, who's occupation I don't know.

3) Afrospear's agenda is mainly to blog and get media attention for crimes where an African American male is punished too severely by the legal system. The goal is to get their charges reduced or dismissed. Or the focus in on situations where White people do something bad to Black people. In contrast, ABA is focused on using the internet for self-improvement of Black people, online activism, petitions, gathering and creating useful resources, and to helping each other with only indirect reference to non-Black people.

4) Afospear is focused on African Americans and only allows progressive members. ABA intends to focus on international issues and is non-partisan.

5) Afrospear's symbol is a spear that I consider an instrument of death and a phallic symbol. The symbol for ABA is a computer in a circle with Pan-African colours.

6) ABA has created a mission statement, objectives, a set of values, a list of methods, a vision statement, a forum, a blog, an online newspaper, chat room, social networking sites, listings on non-profit sites, and a donation system. Afrospear has an email Listserv and maybe the Afrospear Think Tank is considered their blog.

7) ABA has been around for less than 3 months. Afrospear has been around for 9 or more months.

Because of these major differences, I find it really hard to understand the functioning of Afrospear or the direction it has taken. I don't clearly understand the organization of Afrospear, why it is taking so long to get things organized in the group, or if and why other members think everything is fine. I also don't know what is happening with ABA. I have to update the calendar with our progress, but there is little response to mass emails and participation has dropped dramatically. So I'm asking for comments. What is going on with these groups?

What I Thought About CNN's "Black In America"

2008-07-26T12:54:00.009-06:00

This is a summary based on all of the comments I made on other blogs about what I thought about CNN's "Black in America" (follow the links to some other reviews where I made my comments). After this I will do a follow-up post of what I think it is ACTUALLY like to be Black in North America. It will basically describe what CNN should have included in a documentary if they really wanted it to "give everyone an idea of what its like to be Black in America".

First off I must say, in watching the numerous (practically obsessive) advertisements about the series and hearing the words "Black in America" mentioned or written at least 12 times an hour feels "like Black people are under the microscope by a bunch of anthropologists who want to teach the White man about the Black man even though we have been living in the same bloody place for 400 years!!!". It also bugs me the way they titled the segments "The Black Woman and Family" and "The Black Man" because it reminds me of the way White scientists used to say "the negro this..." or "the negro that..." like they knew everything there was about Black people and they were listing scientific facts about some animal species they observed. It just rubs me the wrong way. Anyway, let me get on to my review...

The problem We All Live With-by Norman Rockwell

Part One of CNN's "Black in America: The Black Woman and Family"

The program was what I expected. The same old topics. It wasn't really about what it's like to be Black. Its like they choose a bunch of census topics (e.g., health, income level, education level, criminal history, marital status, cost of home, drug history etc.), and then chose to report on the ones where Black people fair more poorly than White people. THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT THEY DID! So the whole documentary was slanted in this way. Other than the part where the Black family had a White great, great, grandfather, these are issues that affect all Americans. They didn't show unique things but I will have a list at the end of this post of what questions they could have asked to produce a better documentary.

I am actually pissed about how they showed statistics. They showed things like 53% of Black people graduate highschool but they showed nothing about the difference between predominantly White schools or predominantly Black schools! They mentioned the incarceration rates but nothing about the bias in the justice system that convicts Black people and sentences them to prison more often than White people! By doing that they make it seem that there is something inherent in Black people that accounts for the problems.

Don't even let me start on how irresponsible and sensationalistic is is to show opinions from scholars who have no scientific evidence behind their claims. Why have Michael Eric Dyson say he was treated better by his family because he is light skinned and his brother did not because he is dark skinned? That's just an anecdote. He's a social scientist, couldn't he have cited some research that supports this phenomena? Also, why focus on that school who is paying students for test grades as though this is the revolution in education that will save Black people? What about all the charter schools that work? What are they doing differently? What about Black students who attend predominantly White schools? Why do they do better? How did the three kids in that one family stay in school and get into college? How is their life different from the drop-outs? And don't even get me started on that stupid salt sensitivity idea? Why were they wasting our time with something that has no research evidence behind it when there is research that supports fact that it is harder to find healthy foods in inner cities (yes they did a little clip about that but there were no statistics or research findings) and that unhealthy foods are cheaper than healthy foods so poor people are more likely to buy unhealthy foods?

Part Two of CNN's "Black in America: The Black Man"

I think tonight's show was MUCH better than yesterdays'. They should have just mixed up all of the segments from yesterday and today instead of separating them into The Black Woman and Family and Black Men because there was so much overlap. I think that in Part One they did not present enough on exclusively Black women problems and successes. I think Part Two was better because at least twice they referred to research that shows that the justice system is biased, employers are biased etc. They needed to do that way more with the first episode. I'm glad they discussed racism instead of acting like White people have no effect on us and don't actually have a role in things. I thought the part about rap was good because they admitted that the white executives have a role in degrading hip hop and that it actually had positive roots. It bugs me though that the young Black couples shown were not together (e.g., that guy who was late for the birthday party) and the other young guy was dating a White girl. They didn't say anything about how successful Black men sometimes choose White girls or about why they date interracially way more than Black women.

They also didn't say anything about Black racial identity development, like how people feel about being Black, when they realized they were Black and the barriers that would come with it, their thoughts about Africa, or anything about activism or civil rights groups. I think that covering those issues would actually tell the world a lot more about what its like to be Black in Black people's minds. Those issues would be more about the "essence" of being Black. They did a better job but I think the issues I mentioned are so important and they would be totally different from anything White people experience. It might be groundbreaking to White people but definitely not for me.

Overall Impressions

I wonder how many Black people viewed the show (to see if it was any good or just an insult) compared to non-Black people who thought they would learn something. I'll bet that most of the viewers were actually Black! For Black people there wasn't anything really to learn, just the same old census statistics with no historical or social background or explanations for why things are the way they are. This was not a presentation meant for Black people. It was meant for people who don't know much about Black people. Something about it is kind of objectifying as if they are anthropologists observing "The Black Man" in his natural habitat. It wasn't meant for us. It didn't provide solutions other than the unusual one about paying students because they wanted to cause debate or something about the experiment. I think a big problem was the way they presented the statistics. It would have been better to put things in context showing how things are now compared to in the past. If they did that then there would actually be a lot of improvements. Thats the problem with this Eurocentric habit of showing White people as “the norm” against which all others are compared. Yes, compared to White people we don’t fair as well as they do (if thats what people actually want to strive for). But compared to Black people in the past, today we are probably doing a lot better. In some ways things are worse, but I think there are so many improvements that the show could have been 50% positive and 50% negative instead of about 20% positive and 80% negative like it was in the program.

Some of the questions I would have liked to see answered are probably answered in the numerous essays done by people like W.E.B. du Bois, bell hooks, Frederick Douglas, and modern intellectuals. There are probably some thoughts in conscious hip hop as well. It should have been focused on the psychology and philosophy of being Black. A special about the views of all the great Black writers throughout the ages would have been more valuable. It would have been better if it was a show about how Black people view themselves and the world rather than just a display of census statistics and how we live day to day.

The second episode was better than the first because they actually presented some research and background about how things came about. It would have been better if they had not separated things into Women and Family and Black Men and instead mixed up all the segments. They hyped this thing WAAAAY too much and I've seen PBS and HBO documentaries about Black people that were so much more groundbreaking and informative than this. I think that PBS would have done a much better job because they base their documentaries on a lot of research and that guides the presentation. This special was based on what they could get a select group of Black people to discuss and government statistics without the background and context. It would change things if they explained why inner cities are the way they are and why Black schools are the way they are (i.e., lack of funding, lack of investment, lack of jobs, unqualified teachers etc). Even some discussions in Spike Lee films are more informative than this!

What I Would Have Liked to See in a Documentary Describing What its like to be Black in America

In General
1. What are Black people's attitudes about different things?
2. What values do Black people hold and how important is each value in relation to the others?
Racism and Discrimination
3. How often do they get discriminated against, what incidents occurred, how do they feel?
4. What do they know about how racism against Black people began and why it exists?
5. How do they think they are perceived by non-Black people?
Living in a Eurocentric Society
6. What is it like working in predominantly White settings?
7. How do they feel being a minority in predominantly White schools?
8. How do Black people feel about living in a country that enslaved them, stole their names and history, called them less than human, etc?
9. What do they think about race as it is described in the Bible (e.g., that stupid Ham curse)?
10. What do they think about race as described in science and literature (e.g., The Bell Curve and having to read Tom Sawyer etc.)?
11. What do they think about their portrayal in the news and entertainment media?
12. What do they think about the lack of education about African American and African history presented in schools?
Black Beauty and Physical Features
13. How Black people feel about living in a society with Eurocentric beauty ideals that they either accept or reject?
14. How do they feel about having light skin or dark skin and African features and hair (self-image)?
Black Role Models
15. What do they think about their media representation and about Black celebrities?
16. Who do Black people see as role models?
17. Who do Black people see as leaders?
Black Identity Development and Knowledge of "Blackness" or "African-ness"
18. What does it mean to be Black?
19. When did they first realize they were the minority in America?
20. When did they first realize or experience the negative attitudes the mainstream has about Black people?
21. Do Black people like or dislike being Black?
22. What do they think about their ancestors and their history?
23. How do they feel about Africa?
24. What responsibility do you think you have for other Black people?
What Black People Think about Other Black People
25. What do different Black people think about other Black people (e.g., what men think about women, what teens think about their elders, what professionals think of blue collar workers, what students think about drop-outs etc)?
26. Why do some date interracially and why do some prefer Black partners?
27. How do they think they are perceived by other Black people?
28. Which negative stereotypes about Black people do Black people actually believe?
29. Do Black people have negative feelings about Black people in general?
30. How do you feel when you are around other Black people?

I think thats a lot of unanswered questions! These topics would really help others to understand where we are coming from and why we are the way we are. Answers to questions like these would show Black people the views of other Black people that may be similar or different from their own. It would give non-Black people an idea of how we view ourselves and our inner struggles.

I'm Happy Being Black

2008-06-30T15:42:00.004-06:00

I think now I can say I'm happy being Black. Of course this was not always the case. I don't remember ever actually wishing I was White, but I did wish that things were much different for Black people so that it would be easier and more tolerable being Black.

I wished that we were never slaves and that White people had never decided to enslave people just because they were Africans. I wished that my hair was naturally straight or wavy, so that no one would make fun of it. I wished that no one had ever come up with those horrible names they called Black people. I wished that people all over the world looked at us and thought that we were beautiful and amazing people. I wished that people around the world would condemn what people have done to us instead of trying to be exactly like the oppressors. I wished that all Black people had genius intelligence, so that even if others didn't like the way we looked, they could never deny our brilliance. I wished that our features and talents were more valued instead of being somehow twisted to prove we are not good enough. I just wished things were different.

I don't wish that Black people took the place of Europeans in enslaving and oppressing so many people around the world. I do not wish that we became the oppressors and did barbaric things to people. I do not wish that we wrote science books claiming that Africans were superior to all other peoples and that we created a hierarchy of races. I do not wish that we were greedy capitalists who forced other people into cheap labour and demanded they buy our goods so that we could become rich while they became poor. I do not wish that we brutalized other people and then told those people to "get over it", forget the past, its Christian to forgive, stop talking about your past, and shut up in school while we go on and on about ours.

I wish things had been different in history but I do not wish that African people did evil things to get to the top. Its better to be as we are. We have accomplished great things and we are survivors. I would rather be the oppressed victim than the evil oppressor. Things could be better, but being evil would be worse.

I Was So Whitewashed!!!

2008-06-19T16:09:00.003-06:00

I was just thinking about the way I was growing up compared to the woman I am now, and the woman I want to become. I have to face the facts...I WAS SO WHITEWASHED!!! I didn't even realize it when I was growing up. It was sort of like everyone (except some Black people) promoted the idea of being whitewashed and thought it was great.

For example, in junior high and high school a lot of people dated interracialy. I remember hearing people comment that if everyone had interracial babies then there would be no more racism. I remember thinking that biracial people were the best looking people in the world and that I had to have biracial children. I thought that they were attractive to everyone so they could date more people and basically, as long as they were the most attractive, they wouldn't have any identity problems. I was only attracted to European or biracial guys (Black and White) and no one who was as dark skinned as I was. It was like Black guys didn't exist and I didn't see their faces or something. I had crushes on so many guys but none of them were Black (except for Black/White biracial guys).

I was in love with long flowing hair on guys, or hair that flopped in the face and of course Black guys didn't have hair like that. I also think that it wasn't until I was about 23 did I start to like men who looked like men, instead of awkward teenaged boys. So I liked them skinny, awkward, and with floppy hair like Eddie Furlong, Johnathan Brandis, Orlando Bloom, etc. I loved them looking fragile. I was not attracted to buff manly men like Morris Chestnut, The Rock, or Djimon Hounsou. I even told my mother once that there was absolutely no chance that I would ever marry a Black man. I watched all those Victorian era movies where there were no Black people, and those small, quirky, indie movies, with no Black people and I would fall in love with them. My favorite songs were the ones made by White guys singing pop songs about love. My bedroom walls were plastered with posters of Eddie Furlong, Mark Paul Gosselar, and a bunch of White pop bands I can't even remember. What was up with that?

When I was in highschool I also really loved Tyra Banks and wanted to look like her. I needed prescription contact lenses so I got them in green like Tyra (I think her eyes are naturally green though). I also coloured my hair golden brown and got long, straignt, golden brown hair extensions. Atleast I was copying a Black woman, but the features I copied are not typical African features. I kept this look for several years. I also bought hair magazines and wanted to grow my hair long and straight.

I didn't know much about slavery, nothing about colonialism, and very little outside of what I was taught in school. I only dated non-Black guys and looking back, I don't think they treated me well at all. They didn't think of me as serious girlfriend material and I'm so glad now I didn't sacrifice anything for them or get myself pregnant. Get this! My parents and grandparents are from the Caribbean. I was so ignorant I thought that Black people from the Caribbean had originated there and were not tied to Africa! I thought that my family had no history of slavery! I didn't know there was slavery in the Caribbean!!! This was never told to me in school and every movie about slavery was only about the US. In my defense, some people probably don't know that Africans were enslaved in the Middle East either because no one ever talks about that.

I was so ignorant and totally white-washed! I was glad to hear that there is going to be an Afrocentric school opening in Toronto (read about it here). That sort of thing would have really helped me. Actually there have been Afrocentric classes held on Saturdays for years in Toronto. I wish I had gone to those classes. I was so ignorant, and totally washed, thank goodness I'm curing myself now. I know that they way I grew up was natural given my education and environment so I will try to not be ashamed. Quite a few of my Black girlfriends back home dated interracially, relaxed their hair, are are now married to White men and have had their children. I'm glad I didn't let things go that far because I would be totally messed up right now.

Black Women's Hair

2008-06-09T13:26:00.002-06:00

I have been watching a lot of YouTube videos lately about Black women's hair. Videos by vbloggers like Ladykpnyc, MsButtafly, Srt8isis, and Najaface. These are some great hairstyling videos: Hair Tutorial, Hair Product Recommendations, More Product Recommendations, Styling Kinky Hair, and The Basics of Natural Hair Care. There are many others who's videos I've watched. They helped me to learn what products to buy, what ingredients to avoid, and how I can style my hair in its natural state. These ladies were SOOOO helpful! Based on their advice, I made my own hairdress with shea butter, coconut oil, olive oil, and jojoba + vitamin E oil. I also made a spray leave in conditioner with water and vegetable glycerine. I can find the natural products where I live, but not most of the commercial products made for Black hair. I have been wanting to go natural for about a year, but I wasn't sure how. I was going to put it off for a year, but I have decided to go natural now instead because I have learned so much about how to handle my hair. This weekend when I washed my hair I didn't wrap it to make it straight. I put in thin hair curlers and now I have a parted afro and I love it! Its so glamorous and much better than the limp ponytail I used to wear.

There are also commentary videos. The gist of most of these videos is that having relaxed, weave, or coloured hair (especially blonde) is not a good thing. It demonstrates that Black women have accepted Eurocentric beauty ideals and are chemically altering their hair to look more like European women. Instead of keeping their natural hair, that is the same as Black men's, they try to imitate the hair of their oppressors, Europeans. The argument is that it is a form of self-hatred and that excuses for the behaviour is made to deny the fact that what I explained above is true.

Some of the videos are by Black men who criticize relaxing hair, Black female celebrities with blond hair, and the fakeness of hair weaves. Other videos are by Black women who have decided to go natural after years of using chemical relaxers. In the comments sections (in addition to annoying racist remarks) you will see supportive comments from people who agree. But you will also find comments from women who disagree. There are also videos by Black men who seem to dislike Black women. For instance, this one guy who says weaves and relaxers are fake and would rather have the real thing from a White woman. The guy said he doesn't date Black women anyway and has many negative things to say about Black people in general.

I bought a hair magazine the other day and the whole thing was filled with styles for relaxed hair or weaves! There were maybe 3 pages with natural hairstyles! There were so many advertisements for weave hair and relaxers. Relaxed hair and weaves are a big industry and I don't think natural haircare is as big. These companies advertise like mad and they have the mainstream media, television, and film industry on their side. I started buying these magazines in highschool when I had some spare money and was responsible for my own hair. But the main hair magazines are about relaxed and weave hair! You have to get special editions or magazines for natural or braid styles and where I live they aren't even sold! These magazines are filled with celebrities like Mary J. Blige, Eve, Keisha Cole, and Beyonce who all have blonde hair and have worn weaves. On YouTube you can find videos with these same celebrities that criticize them for their negative example on Black women.

The main arguments against altering our African hair are: Its fake and we should be natural; Natural African hair is beautiful; Black women are ashamed of their natural hair; Black women are imitating their oppressors by changing their hair; Black women are trying to look attractive to White men; The chemicals used are harmful to the scalp; It is a bad example to send to children; its not true that natural hair is harder to manage; natural hair can grow long; short hair can be attractive on African women.

The main arguments in support of altering our African hair are: Its just hair so its not important; Its just a personal preference that has nothing to do with African pride or self-esteem (there is actually a relaxer brand called African Pride can you believe it???); Its just a hairstyle; Women are relaxing their hair because its what they have always done so its what they are used to; Many women don't know how to care for their natural hair; Its easier to manage relaxed hair; Most celebrities have relaxed hair, weaves, and they colour their hair; The media portrays women with relaxed, long hair as the most beautiful; Black men prefer relaxed hair; Relaxed or coloured hair is more attractive; its almost impossible to have long natural African hair so it has to be relaxed, weaved, braided, or in locs to be long; short hair is not attractive; Black women with short hair look like men; relaxed hair and weaves allow for more styling variety; relaxed hair is the norm for Western Black women.

As you can see from my lists, I can come up with more excuses for relaxing hair and wearing weaves. But I believe the reasons for having natural hair. In the past I would have argued in support of relaxers because they were all that I knew. But I'm going natural (I even have a natural-haired sista as my icon). I do prefer long hair so I'll see what I can do. I might get locs but they seem so permanent. I'm worried I won't look good without long hair. When I was in 8th grade my mother cut my hair short and I was teased horrendously by girls and boys for a year. Some guys said I was the ugliest girl in the whole class and called me a racial slur! This only happened after I cut my hair! I don't think people will react that way now but it just brings back those bad memories.

Going natural is not easy. There are instructional videos on YouTube and websites for natural hair such as Napptureality and MotownGirl. Its a big decision. I remember reading about incidents where Black women have been reprimanded for their braids. Plus you all remember that incident where a representative from Glamour magazine told Black business women that afros and locs were political hairstyles that they should not wear in the workplace right? Its a really difficult decision that you have to carefully consider. I'm glad that I have taken the first steps towards becoming natural and embracing my African hair!

I AM SO PROUD OF BARACK OBAMA!!!!

2008-06-04T10:06:00.007-06:00

I am sooooooo PROUD of Barack Obama today!!!! He did it, its over, he won, he's the greatest!!! The first time I heard about Obama was when he became a senator. The media was talking about this new young senator and saying that he was going to change things. My interest was peaked. Then one day I happened to be watching Oprah and the guest happened to be this new senator who had a apparently written a book. He came onto the stage and I thought 'oh, he's kind of cute. I didn't think he would look that way'. Then he spoke and I kid you not, a strange sensation rushed over me, as though his voice took hold of my mind and released endorphins or something. There was some sort of psychological effect I'm serious. I listened to him speak and I thought to myself 'he is the one, he is the one the world has been waiting for'. Everything he said was EXACTLY what I needed to hear. From that point on I always wanted to hear about Obama.

When he announced he was running for president there was no question who I would support. Too bad I couldn't vote for him. In the beginning I didn't think he had much of a chance though. It seemed as though everyone assumed Hillary would win. I thought he would be out after the first set of primaries. But he WON! My hope began to grow. Then he continued to win and my hope grew even more! Despite all the smearing and negative politics directed at him, Obama overcame the obstacles. I want to see him as president. He is the greatest, I am so proud of him as a Black woman. I hope one day to have a son just like him. He is an inspiration and a born leader. I know that he is American and that the US is not my country. But he is African and I consider him to be my brother. Brother Barack is on fire and Black people all over the world and so proud of him right now!!! I adore you Barack Obama!!!!

Here are two videos about the AMAZING Barack Obama!!!! We are so proud of you!!!!

Who is Welcome at My Blog

2008-05-28T14:41:00.005-06:00

So I when I first started blogging 3 years ago I wanted people to visit my blog no matter who they were. On my old blog I didn't start discussing African issues until the end of my second year. Thats when I "awoke" and realized how much I was interested in African Diaspora issues and culture. What I noticed though was that as soon as I started discussing African issues my European and EuroAmerican visitors stopped commenting.

I think it was because some Europeans consider any mention of someone's ethnicity to be racist. Therefore, when a Black person discusses racism, oppression, or discrimination sometimes that person is actually labeled a racist! Its that whole reverse-racism thing. I think the same trick can be played with sexism in that a woman who says a man did something sexist could be accused by that man of being a man-hater and sexist. If a woman says a book is sexist because it excludes women then a man can say she's sexist because she won't accept a book that is only about men. Its a defense tactic to just shut the accuser up by accusing them of the same thing.

So whenever a Black person claims that racism has occurred (although there may be some acceptance that the incident may have occurred) it can sometimes be met with great hostility and further assaults on the character of the Black person. Some people in Western society have developed what they think is the solution to racism... colourblindness. That means totally ignoring the cultural, ethnic, and historical differences between people. It also includes ignoring current instances of oppression based on ethnicity or caused by the past crimes of the group in power. According to this mentality, one can not criticize Europeans for slavery or lynching because, in their view, it is racist to say that someone of a particular ethnic group did something inhumane, evil, or barbaric even if those events actually occured. Its a free pass for acts of racism and oppression.

Sometimes you can tell if a person uses this kind of reasoning when they groan or complain about Africans discussing the slave trade, Jim Crow, Eurocentric school curriculums, discrimination, etc. Its because to them those things are in the past, they have no effect on anything that is going on today, the famous 'I didn't do it so I don't have to do anything about it' excuse, and the other excuse that "African people who discuss racism are just racists". One clever trick is to criticize Africans for discussing African issues instead of "world issues" (which is basically whatever Europeans decide should be important for the whole world to focus on. Sometimes its about a missing blonde woman, a politician's sex scandal, or anything that only involves white people. Black issues are not universal issues but supposedly white issues are).

Some of you may have even been asked, "If you people want equality so badly then why do you keep making racial divisions by identifying yourself as African? Why don't you just assimilate and become American or Canadian?" Well, its because we actually find value in our history and culture and we choose it over yours because it actually included our people. The history of France or England usually doesn't include discussions about Africans, and theres that whole long history of Europeans doing inexplicably horrendous things to Africans (seriously, why should we be eager to learn from people who have acted like our enemies for 400 years???). To the rest of the world American and Canadian mean white, and Western societies are predominantly influenced by white standards and values. Why would we clamor to learn and adopt values and history that isn't our own? (Some might actually be thinking we should adopt everything European because 'its better' in their opinion. That there is Eurocentrism and white supremacy).

Now I'm sure a lot of Europeans are going to disagree with this but its because some of them don't realize their white priviledge and how prevalent their values and ideals are in Western society. Many non-white people don't realize this either, hence the question from my Chinese friend "Why do Black people need their own hair magazines? Why can't they just read the other hair magazines?" (Other in this case means white). The same reasoning is behind why some black bloggers prefer visiting black blogs. Its because those blogs have information they are interested in and they don't have to fight all day about colourblind ideals. European blogs don't give some of us what we are looking for. Because black blogs make up only a small part of the blogosphere many bloggers chose to keep track of the sites by linking, forming social networking groups, supporting each other, and forming relationships. Some might call that racist, I just call it supply, demand, and consumer freedom.

I don't have to choose European culture and history over African culture. You don't have a right to tell me how I should identify myself and whether or not I should on my blog. That there again is your sense of entitlement rearing its ugly head. This post was a long way of saying its very difficult discussing African issues with European people. For the reasons mentioned above, any negative comments about my calling myself African, African diaspora culture, my goal to become more African etc. will just be deleted and I won't reply to them. I don't have to pay attention to you or post your comments.I'll only accept constructive discussions and positive feedback here. This blog is a personal journal that may be of interest to members of the African diaspora who are going through the same process. If you are not a member of the diaspora and you have advice or criticism, sorry but your comments probably won't be useful here. This blog is about getting away from that sort of advice and criticism. Your comments will not help me and if I find them offensive I'll just delete them. You can read but I'm not looking for your advice. Spend your time somewhere else because this blog was not made to please or accommodate you.

African Wise Sayings and Folk Tales

2008-05-08T13:04:00.006-06:00

The internet is great! Yesterday I searched for African wise saying and folk tales on the internet and I found quite a few websites with numerous sayings and stories. I think that this is really important. I grew up knowing European sayings and fairy tales. In fact I remember having a month or two in elementary school when we had to read fairy tales. The teacher had all of the books I think that the library gave to her for the month. They were all stories like Cinderella, Snow White (can you believe that crap! Way to distort a Black child's beauty ideals!), Hansel and Gretel (real African names), little red riding hood, and all that stuff. We all know those stories. But there are African tales and African American tales that send a moral message and can teach us something. I want to know those tales instead.

There are also European sayings that we all know but none can come to mind right now other than 'its not just black and white' (I hate that one), 'you can't judge a book by its cover' (I think an African version is that you can't judge a leopard by its spots or something) and little figures of speech. I would rather have African sayings. One I learned yesterday is that 'a tree is known by its fruit' which is a Zulu saying. It means that people will judge you by what you do, not just by what you say and that we know people by their deeds just as we know trees by their fruit (e.g., a coconut tree vs. a mango tree). Thats a great saying that I will remember. I want to know more of these. I think that the sayings and stories will reflect African values instead of European ones. Plus it will be a lot of fun to learn.

These are the sites that I'm going to read West African Folk Tales, African Proverbs, Folk Stories from Southern Nigeria, African Folk Tales, African Folk Tales, South African Folk Tales, African Folk Tales, All Folk Tales, African Folk Tales, African Proverbs, African Proverbs, and African Proverbs. I've saved them all in my links under proverbs. This will be a lot of fun to do in my spare time. I think that it will help change the way I think about things and its much easier than the philosophy that I'm reading. When I have kids I'm definitely going to give them things like this to read instead of European fairytales.

What I Have To Change To Become More African

2008-05-07T16:26:00.004-06:00

These are the things about myself that I need to change in order to become more African.

1. I have relaxed hair. Solution: I have to let my hair go natural. I will wait about a year until I move back home where I can find a good hairdresser and buy some good haircare products. I will read about how to go natural online and then probably use a texturizer to start with.

2. I wear Westernized clothes. Solution: When I finish school in a year and start earning money I will purchase African style dresses (maybe just African patterns, not the full traditional garb). It will be more feminine too.

3. I listen to European pop music. Solution: I have been working on this one for a while by only listing to hip hop and R&B. I don't know if I can actually listen to music that is not in English because I like to understand what is being said. I could listen to more oldschool jazz. I don't listen to the mix stations or pop (screw Justin Timberlake!). I have been doing this consistently for several months. I don't know what music European songs or musicians are popular anymore, and a lot of the music sound weird to me now, so this is a good start.

4. The history I learned in school was Eurocentric. Solution: I have been working on learning African history for the past 3 years. I just have to keep it up. I need to be able to remember people's names, dates, and contributions so that I can actually have conversations about the topic. I need to know all the contributions starting from Ancient Kemet. I used to trust that my teachers and the education system were telling me everything I need to know, wow was I wrong! I thought that if I wasn't learning about Africans it was because there was nothing to learn (there was no significant history). But that is completely FALSE!

5. I used to date only non-African guys. Solution: I will now only date Black men. Since I have been reading history European males have become less and less attractive to me. I don't check them out in school or on television. There are still some old favorite celebs but I know that things would never work with a non-African male. I am developing a appreciation for appearance of Black males and I find many guys attractive.

6. I am used to European entertainment. Solution: I am trying to only watch shows that have a lead star who is African. I will keep shows that don't meet this criteria to a minimum. I will only pay for Black movies in the theatre to support the industry.

7.I have European beauty standards. Solution: I will NEVER EVER purchase a European beauty magazine again. I will not pay attention to the advertisements or what models look like. I will only pay attention to the advice of Black blogs and magazines from now on. There are many quality beauty blogs out there.

8. I grew up in a society that believes in European religion (i.e., Christianity). Solution: I never believed in Christianity before so this is easy. I just have to keep fighting its influence on me.

9. All the other students in my program are European. Solution: I only share my real feelings with my Black and Asian friends (those are my only friends anyway). I have to keep avoiding going to Eurocentric social things that basically amount to drinking and sitting around because I feel I have to.

10. I am in a Eurocentric field. Solution: Although I am in a field that is based on European theories, African intellectuals have created theories for African people. I need to read more of it.

11. Most of the stories, fables, and cultural sayings I know are European. Solution: I need to read about African wise saying, fables, and philosophy so that when I have conversations or think about life I will refer to something African.

12. I live in a European capitalist society that is different from the more communal, traditional, African society. Solution: There isn't much I can do about this one other than purchasing less, purchasing second-hand items, being frugal, giving to African organizations, and avoiding trends and wasteful purchases. I'm not going to buy the latest thing because some corporate fat-cat wants my money.

13. My values are Eurocentric. Solution: I will learn more about African values like the ones in my right side-bar. I will live by them instead of the European values.

I can't think of anything else right now. I will add some of these to my 43things goals list (on the bottom left side-bar). This is serious and I have to plan things out, do a bit at a time, and really dedicate myself to doing these things. Most of the education has to take place within the next year because after that I will not have access to the university library. I have a lot of reading and learning to do!I will probably never become truly African in every way, and even people living in Africa have a long history of European influence. But I would rather be more African than European because I'm not European.

Why do I Want to Become More African?

2008-05-07T15:44:00.006-06:00

I have been reading many books, watching online videos, and reading blogs about African and African American history, culture, and issues. Based on my studies there are many things that I realize about myself that I want to change. When these changes have been made I think that I will be living and thinking more like an African person. As I learn more there will be more things to add to the list. Its like finding out that you were living in the Matrix and trying to unlearn your beliefs and attitudes. It's like every time I read a book my world view changes even more. Its really crazy!

I say that I want to become African because even though I live in Canada I believe that all Black people are Africans and that we should use that term to maintain solidarity with our brothers and sisters around the Diaspora. I'm not going to fight with anyone who says 'You are not from Africa' or 'You can't be African Canadian or else what will we call Africans who move to Canada?' Morons, we are all Africans and they will become African Canadian! African is my ethnicity and Canadian is my citizenship and I'm not arguing about the issue. A person from Chinese parents who is born in Canada is still Chinese! Its your problem if you totally dissociate from the country or continent of your ancestors but I am not making the same choice. I think these arguments are only raised against Black people because Europeans have been educated to think that we are fundamentally different and that if we are born outside of Africa then they can decide what we are. Well f*** that s***! I think that during slavery we were renamed by our oppressors and called the imaginary term 'negro'. When our ancestors were abducted from Africa and landed in the Caribbean, America, Europe, and the Middle East they were Africans! We were renamed so that later generations would think that they had no history, no Motherland, and that they had always been slaves. They didn't realize they were Africans.

I think that its okay for Africans to call each other Black, but I don't think I like it when European people call us Black. I think that they should no longer have that privilege because they have used that designation to oppress us. European philosophers and scientists were the first to associate skin colour with biological and mental traits. Prior to that there was no racism as we know it today! In the past there was no assumption that the colour of your skin had anything to do with your intelligence, morality, or talents. This changed during slavery that was caused by capitalism and greed.

Europeans wanted someone to work the land in America for free and chose Black people. They perpetrated horrible, inhumane, and savage acts against Africans. But how could they justify this behaviour? Well they decided that they must be superior to Africans if they were able to enslave them. They also decided that God must approve of enslaving Africans or else God would have stopped it (with this reasoning everything they did would have been justifiable). This also led to Europeans creating the idea of "races" and a hierarchy of races in which they were at the top and considered themselves the epitome of mankind, what God wanted mankind to become, and what all peoples of the world had to strive for. If you did not live like the Europeans you were considered less than human, a devil or a child and this included every person in the world who was not European! People of the world who were different from Europeans in skin colour, hair texture, language, art, environment, religion etc. were considered "primitive" in proportion to how many differences the Europeans thought there were. Many European philosophers and writers like Kipling, Kant, and Hume have written about this (I bet you didn't learn about these theories in philosophy class).

In terms of skin colour and hair texture the Africans were very different. Therefore they labeled them the most inferior above Native Americans. The Europeans thought that it was the 'White Man's Burden' to find and 'civilize' the non-European people of the world and bring them to Christianity in order to save their souls because it was what God wanted. Therefore, during slavery and during colonial times they forced the oppressed to change their names, fashion, attitudes, religion, art, culture, language, and everything else to the European way. This didn't mean that the people were accepted as equals though. Their native cultures were suppressed and the people soon forgot who they were. This isn't racist propaganda, its history that has been actively suppressed in the Eurocentric school system (except in university level books).

I am now trying to learn about my people and become what I was meant to be. I am reading the works of so many brilliant African people like Kwame Nkrumah, Molefi Kete Asante, Franz Fanon, Malcolm X, Aime Cesare, W.E.B. DuBois and many others who I had never even heard of 3 years ago. I have to undo the brainwashing and become the strong African woman I was meant to be. So step one is identifying my Europeanized attitudes and beliefs and listing goals that will indicate to me that I am developing more Africanized attitudes and beliefs.

My Place to Write Down My Thoughts

2008-05-06T15:34:00.004-06:00

So I'm starting up this blog again, but just for me. I'm not getting involved in activism again and not getting into arguments either. I just need a place to write down my thoughts. This summer is going to be kind of boring and lonely at school so I think when my friends aren't available then I'll write on this blog. Just my thoughts about my life and world events I guess. I'm going back to the original reason why I started blogging. I started because I was bored and wanted to get my thoughts out. For a while I was taken away from that purpose. Things got negative. I was really super angry at first, but now I'm just not interested in the things I was once interested in. Its hard to believe that I haven't blogged since October. I read other people's blogs but I didn't start commenting again until about 2 months ago.

I don't think I'm going to bother changing the design for now. I just can't be bothered with that.

I feel kind of relieved now. Journaling is really therapeutic and I stopped doing it. I was happier when I stopped though because things were peaceful. I'm going to keep things peaceful from now on. What I really want to do is write about some of the African philosophy and writings I have been reading. I think that over the past three years I have been un-brainwashing myself from my Westernized education and cultural upbringings. I've learned so much over the past 3 years but there is so much more I need to learn. Its a process and it has to be done. I'm not the same person I was 3 years ago and I'm glad.

Can the Internet Save Black People?

2007-10-03T16:34:00.000-06:00

I feel like brainstorming today. I guess I like to come up with ideas.

I think that there are ways that we can use technology to improve the lives of Black people:

1) We can have online tutorials of every subject available to our children. When kids need help with homework and their parents can't help then they should be able to find the information they need over the internet. Live tutoring groups can even be conducted using chat services. There could be online study groups. Older students could help answer questions. If our schools are not providing the best education and if some of us don't feel educated enough to help, then computer programs and the internet can help, often for free.

We need to use this technology to improve ourselves. Computer skills and even typing skills will be helpful to our children throughout their lives. I have collected education, home schooling, and tutoring links. Computers with internet connections are one of the most important things parents can purchase for their homes. They are more important than $200 shoes, vacations, fancy cars, huge cable packages, fancy nails, and any other things that are unnecessary luxuries.

2) We need some sort of syndicated newswire of Black news. I tried to do this by making the Afrosphere Online Newspaper and I think it is helpful. Its like having a Black news outlet with activism, op-ed, news, entertainment, fashion and beauty, technology, and book news. There are many Black news sources that I haven't added yet because I find new ones everyday. I think Black people could help themselves by using newsreaders and signing up for email lists so that they get the news that is most important to them. The negative eurocentric bias would be (mostly) filtered out, and we would get what we need to hear through the black filter. We need to be more informed about our issues instead of someone else's.

We need to find important news sources about things that the media glosses over, like the Black and Missing website. We need that for our health issues, our award winners, our inventors, etc. I made a widget for the Black and Missing blog for this purpose. That way each blog can instantly give exposure to important action alerts. I'm looking at other widget sites to see if I can make it smaller. We should all have a widget or RSS feed displaying a wide variety of Black news on our blogs for our readers. That way our news will spread fast. I think we also need something for petitions. If we had a petitions widget or email list then as soon as a black-oriented petition was created we could get thousands of signatures in a short amount of time. I think this could be done by creating a Black petition website where people could submit links to their online petitions. Then we could have RSS feeds on our blogs about it.

I think that with Black news blogs they are like individual news channels but it would be really helpful if all their information could be coordinated. I think that there is a way to get a widget that subscribes to a whole bunch of sites and posts new articles as soon as they are posted. Then stories from all news sources would be combined into one RSS feed so we would get all the news right away. This could be like a universal Black news feed widget that combines the best news blogs.

3) We need to make more petitions and get them created and emailed to people right away. For every issue we have there should be a press release, a target, and a petition to be sent to the target. I think most of the time there is someone (maybe) who the information can be sent to because they are the one's with influence. For instance, I could have made one for the Afrosphere Accurate Images Campaign but I didn't because there were already other petitions about the same issue so I just provided links to them. So in addition to voicing the concern of ABA, or any other group, we need a way to show those in power that we have even larger public support and we do that through petitions. Plus, some of these petitions instantly send an email to the target so that will instantly tell them that another person is supporting us.

4) We need online entertainment media. I think we can get the equivalent of magazines by reading blogs and websites. There are internet television channels but I'm not sure if you have to pay or what programming they have. If these channels are good then the mainstream television stations won't be such a big deal to us anymore. Maybe they are a good place to invest money. There are also podcasts and there must be some sort of podcast subscription widget that we can use to listen to a variety of shows. Or maybe some sort of media player we can download. That would give us Black radio from anywhere in the world.

5) We need to pay more attention to what laws and bills are being passed. I saw in a documentary that conservative groups always pay attention to bills and get their people elected so that they stick with their agenda. We need to do that too. We need to find out where these things are reported and get people involved in participating and voting as much as possible.

6) We should use our blogs to publicize our views and what we believe. When a person views our blogs it should be filled with pro-Black propaganda to create a balance with the negative anti-black propaganda provided by the mainstream media.

7) We need to help out our Black owned businesses by getting advertising on our blogs. I signed up with Amazon (I still have to put up the ads), but they can be targeted to black products and books. Maybe if there is a discount and its cheap we should consider ordering Black products online instead of buying the other product that is readily available at the mall. It should be easy to get Black products over the internet so we should try to do that more. We need to help ourselves and not expect anyone else to show preference for our products and business.

8) We need to support more of our institutions with online donations. Organizations don't have to hold fundraisers or spend money to get donations. We can just donate on their websites. Our institutions and organizations can't survive or compete with other groups who have way more resources. Like the Jewish Anti-Defamation League has a $50 million budget to go after anyone who badmouths Jews. Why don't we have that? Enough the the materialistic, gangsta rap inspired, bling bling. Get some fake bling and spend the money you save on making your life and our lives better.

9) We need to get our people thinking, self-reflecting, brainstorming, and just reacting. I think that teenagers and adults who have something to say or have any thoughts at all should be blogging. Let your voices be heard. Self-reflection is so important. I think many people are doing things and don't stop to think why. Journaling is very helpful for this purpose. The journals can be private or public (teenagers should be warned about the risks, be anonymous, and not have photos). We just need to stop and think and stop being distracted by the boob tube, drugs, alcohol, vapid music, or whatever other stupidness that is distracting us.

10) I think we have to really get serious about using internet and computer technology to improve our lives. I think that information and the easy dissemination of information and knowledge will be key to our survival.

How is Bronze Trinity Doing?

2007-09-28T10:44:00.000-06:00

So I've decided to stay at Blogger because I doubt that anything will happen where the site goes down permanently. Its really not cool when that happens. Many people who used to visit my blog might not know where to find me now. A lot of people had links to my old blog so those won't work and I have to ask them to change my link. I wonder if there is an automatic way to do that...there probably is like a forwarding address. I think I will be able to get all of my old posts back. Maybe I can add some extra pages with all of my archives. I just want to have everything with me. Its strange starting anew but i think I know a lot of bloggers here anyway.

So this year I have funding for school and I have to decide how to spend my money. I did that on 43Things.com. I need to go there and plan out everything for this year with all of my goals. I need to start up my exercise routine again. This time I want to go walking/jogging more. I want to just be able to run. Plus, I finally bought a tiny MP3 player so I can have music when I go out. I don't want to go to the gym because its so crowded. But I have lots of exercise equipment at home. I just have to start scheduling exercise times instead of sitting at the computer. Last year I did the Body-For-Life Challenge and I did look really good. But then right after I just sort of stopped everything. This year I am going to do it again and I can actually afford to buy healthy foods. It will be MUCH easier to follow the routine this time around. I'm excited just writing about it. I have a full year to transform my body, plus next year too! When I go off for my internship I will be in supreme shape.

I need more balance in my life. I also need to make myself happy and start pampering myself again. I will also do my relaxation CD and try yoga again. This year my schedule is so much better I can have a routine for everything!!! I love having a routine because I am not spontaneous and I am a procrastinator so regular schedules are much better for me. I think they reduce my stress levels too.

I'm turning 29 this year. I wonder if I should start lying about my age. When I was younger I thought that I would never do that because age doesn't matter. But now that I'm 29, unmarried, and not even in a committed relationship I thought, maybe I should stay 29 for a couple of years. By the time I start my internship in 2 years I will be 30 turning 31! Maybe that won't be attractive to guys. I don't know. Maybe guys my age would prefer someone 29 rather than 31. I can't believe I'm so old and I'm still alone. Well atleast I have time to make myself super hot when I find Mr. Right :)

Congress Confronts Media Executives about Misogyny of Black Women

2007-09-24T11:31:00.000-06:00

Hat tip to Eddie Griffin:

Media Executives Called to Testify before Congress on the Misogyny of Black Women

A new front on the content wars may be opening when Congress holds its first hearing specifically into media "stereotypes and degradation" of women -- particularly African- American women... (Executives to be questioned about misogyny, William Triplett, Variety, September 4, 2007)

[Excerpts]

Rep. Bobby Rush (D-Ill.), chairman of the House Subcommittee on Commerce, Trade and Consumer Protection, said "I want to engage not just the music industry but the entertainment industry at large to be part of a solution... I want to talk to executives at these conglomerates who've never taken a public position on what they produce."

Witnesses include toppers Philippe Dauman of Viacom, Doug Morris of Universal Music Group and Edgar Bronfman Jr. of Warner Music Group.

Rush stressed that this is "not an anti-artist hearing, or antimusic or antiyouth hearing." He said he's hoping for voluntary -- not regulatory -- solutions. "I respect the First Amendment, but rights without responsibility is anarchy, and that's much of what we have now. It's time for responsible people to stand up and accept responsibility."

Committee on Energy and Commerce
TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 25, 2007
From Imus to Industry: The Business of Stereotypes and Degrading Images
Subcommittee on Commerce, Trade, and Consumer Protection Hearing
10:00 a.m. (9 a.m. CST)
Committee on Energy and Commerce
2125 Rayburn House Office Building
Washington, D.C. 20515
(202) 225-2927

Contact Form
http://energycommerce.house.gov/membios/contact_form.shtml

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Also, read this great post from Black Agenda Report about revoking the 'free Black pass' for Black people purveying stereotypes and negative images of black people.