And within the first hour of bringing them home, we lost them!

We made a comfortable place for them in our bathroom, and after making sure they were okay, we closed the door and left.

30 minutes later, we went to check on them, and they were gone!!!

They were nowhere to be found!

I was completely baffled. How in the world could we lose kittens in a small closed room with no furniture?!

It was then that I spotted the gap under the door. Years ago, when we built our new home, I had installed some old reclaimed doors to add some charm to a new-build house. The old door was shorter than today’s standard measurements, and so there was a gap of around 2-3 inches. I was baffled. Is it possible they could squeeze under that gap?

Thus began a massive search party of every nook and cranny of my house. We searched everywhere. Under all the furniture. In every small hiding place we could think of.

Five hours went by, and we still couldn’t find them.

At this point I was not only anxious and worried, I was also mad. Mad at all the clutter in my house. The more stuff we have, the more places there are for kittens to hide. I was ready to literally throw out all our stuff. (More on this later).

When my husband came home from work that night, he put on a headlamp and started searching. Soon after, we heard a victory cry.

“I found them!!!!”

And guess where they were, dear reader?

In the bathroom.

They had never left.

I know. It’s the most pathetic tale ever.

Our bathroom vanity has an upside-down drawer you can pull out for little kids to use as a stepstool to reach the sink. My kids outgrew it years ago, but when we first brought the kittens in and were playing with them, my daughter pulled it out as a little perch for them to jump up on and play. After we left them in the bathroom, they had managed to climb underneath and up into a tiny space in the cabinet. Later, when we didn’t see them in the room, my son unknowingly closed the drawer, effectively locking them inside for the next five hours.

On a whim, my husband pulled the drawer out and looked underneath, and two little furballs plopped onto the floor and stared into the light of his headlamp.

There was much rejoicing!!!

Even though we got off to a rocky start, kittens have added so much unexpected delight and joy to our lives.

And…

I’m still mad about the clutter.

I’ve spent the next few weeks on a house purge. I’ve been decluttering and organizing and borderline ready to become a minimalist. (I’d actually totally be a minimalist if it wasn’t for the other three people who live here who weirdly want to keep their stuff

Nonetheless, I’ve been reading and watching content on minimalism to keep me focused and inspired.

Consumerism is something that I’m just as guilty of as any other American. It’s actually kind of hilarious how much my algorithm on social media has changed in only a few weeks.

It went from trying to get me to buy stuff to suddenly showing how I can sell all my stuff on Facebook Marketplace, live with less, and how overconsuming affects our health and happiness.

It’s really made me pause and ask myself,

How is clutter symbolically showing up in my life in more ways than just physical items?

One of the biggest areas for me is the clutter of other people’s expectations.

How much have I taken on other people’s expectations of who I should be and how I should live my life?

Those expectations come from society, culture, media, religion, family, friends, and beyond. And it can pile up and take up space just as much as the physical items we have in our home.

And… I can get lost in all of it.

One of the biggest pieces of expectation clutter I have carried my whole life is the expectation to be perfect.

PERFECT EXPECTATIONS

Imagine my delight when watching this interview with Minimalist Joshua Fields Millburn, when he spoke to this exact issue. I literally gasped out loud when he gave this completely fresh take on perfection. He says,

“We were all born perfect. You see a baby, and you’re like, ‘What a perfect human!’ You’re not thinking, ‘Oh, we really need to perfect this baby.’

But somewhere along the way we have imperfected ourselves.

The word perfect comes from the Latin root ‘perfacere,’ which just means ‘completely done.’ That baby is completely done. But what we do is we imperfect ourselves through all the additions we have – all the expectations, all the grinding and the craving and the hustle culture and more, more, more, more, more. No wonder we feel imperfect.

We confuse the word perfect with flawless. No one’s flawless, obviously. We’re all born perfect. The question is, what did we add to imperfect ourselves?”

This was such a fresh take on perfectionism. I’ve never heard it worded this way, that we imperfect ourselves through all our additions.

So often I’ve found myself striving for more in order to reach perfection, instead of viewing this as ways I actually imperfect myself.

I’m already “completely done”.

This doesn’t mean I can’t still grow. I’m completely done in the same way that an acorn is completely done. The acorn doesn’t have to do anything to be the Oak tree. It doesn’t need popularity, status, image, achievements, new skills, approval, etc. At no point is it not an oak. It’s always an oak regardless of its stage of development. Of course it will evolve and change shape through the process of growth, but it really is completely done right from the beginning.

What a delightful paradox.

So here’s my gentle reminder that you are already completely done.

And if that feels a little unbelievable, a great contemplation may be, “What have I added on top that is imperfecting who I am?”

You are loved.

Namaste,

brooke

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“What do you deeply want?”

Her reply?

“I just want harmony in my relationships”.

Have you ever wished for this too?

HARMONY

Because I’m a musician, my heart heard this desire voiced from a musical standpoint.

The musical definition of harmony may be slightly different than the way we often use this term in regular life.

Harmony in music happens when two different notes are played at the same time. They are in a state of interdependence. Each voice sings its own melody and the combination of individual notes creates richness and depth.

In relationships, we often say we want harmony, when what we are really wanting is unison.

We want those around us to sing the same notes we are.
See the world the way we see it.
Believe what we believe.
Do things the way we think they should be done.

In music and life, unison can be beautiful.

But after a while, it can also get boring and “one note”.

Harmony occurs when we allow some differentiation. We allow some variety into our experience. We make space for authenticity and allow each person to be who they are–which likely means we’re not usually singing the same notes. Sometimes we do, and sometimes we don’t.

Something to notice though…

There’s a difference between two people singing entirely different songs (literally not on the same page), and two people who are committed to singing together, but searching for a way that still gives each of them the space and freedom to be fully themselves.

Harmony lives in that second place.

Admittedly, some harmonies are more pleasing to the ear than others.

Dissonant harmonies create tension, but they also make the resolution moments of the music so much more impactful. (As a composer, I looooooooove dissonance! As a wife and mother? I’m learning to be more comfortable with it

Music that only allows for happy sounds can sound boring real quick.

Think about the music that truly speaks to your soul…

Chances are it’s filled with major and minor moments, and represents a fuller scope of the human emotional experience. You feel seen and heard because the music mirrors the complexity of who you are.

Same with life.

If you find yourself experiencing any dissonance in your relationships right now, remember that this is part of what creates the larger beauty of the music. Resolution doesn’t have to mean singing the same note. It simply means finding the harmony that allows each person to be authentically who they are–in a way that creates peace.

So here’s the question to contemplate:

Where in your life are you expecting unison when harmony is actually needed?

You are loved.

Delightfully,

brooke

PS, if you know someone who would enjoy this email,
I’d love for you to forward it to them.
If someone forwarded this email to you,
Click here to receive weekly emails like this.

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→ Begin here: Free Meditation
A simple way to reconnect, reset, and experience this work for yourself.

→ Continue your practice: Meditation Library
A collection of guided meditations to help you move from understanding this work… to actually living it.

→Get support: Book a Clarity Call
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If you have any questions just reply and ask!

I showed up to a class with a teacher I had never had before. From the moment she pushed play on her playlist, my body braced.

Rap music.

For yoga.

I don’t have a problem with rap music if I’m having a dance party in the kitchen…

But for yoga?

I really want to experience calm.

Then the heavy rock music came.

For 30 minutes I practiced non-judgment.
​I played the role of the observer.
I noticed that I was irritated and told myself it was okay that I was irritated.
I acknowledged that we all have different tastes in music and it’s okay.
I let myself be uncomfortable.

Halfway through class, I had a shift.

I said to myself,
​“Brooke. You are an adult woman. You don’t have to stay here if you don’t like it. Go home.”

I had plenty of inner protests…

But I paid for it!
I drove twenty minutes to be here!
But I don’t want to make the teacher feel bad.
But I don’t want to walk out in front of twenty other people!
What will people think of me?!
Does that make me a quitter or lazy?

I acknowledged those parts that were worried. I assured them that my worth doesn’t depend on what other people think, and it’s okay to walk out.

So that’s exactly what I did.

In front of twenty other people, I rolled up my mat, put away my blanket and blocks, and left halfway through.

It was a simple moment on the surface, but I wouldn’t have done that three years ago. I would have valued other people’s comfort and opinions over my own.

Here’s what I have learned…

Sometimes discomfort is the practice. Learning to stay with it without judgement or making it mean something about you or someone else is a helpful skill to develop.

And sometimes discomfort is optional. You could just leave.

Both options are valid.

Wisdom is knowing which path to follow and when.

The tricky part?

There’s usually a second layer of discomfort right below the first one: The fear of what other people will think. That’s the layer that keeps so many of us stuck in situations we could simply walk away from.

The more I have practiced loving and accepting the parts of me that are worried about people-pleasing, the less I have to people-please…

Why?

Those parts just need to know they are loved. When I can give them that, they stop desperately needing outside approval to be okay.

Where in life are you currently feeling discomfort?

I’ll ask you what I asked myself on that mat:

Can you be with it without judgment – and then honestly ask yourself, is this the kind of discomfort I need to stay in for practice feeling my feelings? Or does my growth come from walking away?

You are a creator. You get to choose.

The light in me honors the light in you.

Namaste,

Brooke

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