The truth is… I’ve known about these nervous system tools for a few years now, but I only used them for emergencies.

(And they do work wonderfully for that…)

But earlier this year, when I certified in Neuro Somatic Intelligence, I finally committed to a daily practice.

And oh my goodness.

The daily practice made such a difference for me.

The daily practice gave me more capacity for daily life. Some things that normally would have bothered me simply didn’t anymore.

And while I definitely still have moments that push me over the edge, I know exactly how to support myself through it, and I recover so much faster.

My trauma symptoms that set me on this path to begin with are so much softer now.

But I still practice my tools.

And something amazing has happened…

So many of us embark on a healing journey in order to “get away from pain”. But the journey doesn’t stop there. If you keep practicing, you then get to the other side, which is “living with more joy.”

I do use these tools for the painful side of life.

And I also use these tools for the joyful side of life too.

Although it might seem strange, joy can also be something that feels scary to the body. Brené Brown even had a great name for this feeling…

“Foreboding Joy”.

Ever felt a moment of joy and then got a hit of fear afterward because you were afraid something terrible would happen or that it might all go away?

Learning to support your nervous system isn’t only about what you do when life hurts.

It can also help you become more available for the good.

This is why I care so much about the 40 days.

I don’t want you to learn these tools and save them for the next emergency.
I want you to practice them enough that they become part of how you live.
Not only so you can support yourself when life hurts.
But so you can allow yourself more joy too.

We start tomorrow. Are you in?

You are a creator.
Feel, be, see, say, do.
The light in me honors the light in you.

With peace,

Brooke

P.S. This is the last call for joining me in this live cohort. I keep getting asked when I’m teaching this again, and so far, my plans for another round are tentatively looking at Fall 2027 (one year from now). Ironically, one of the most common things I say to myself and hear from my clients is, “I wish I knew these tools so much sooner.” So if you’re feeling called, this is the time.

“This sounds great, but I’m already too overwhelmed to add one more thing to my life…”

I want to talk about that.

Because the last thing I want 40 Days of Peace to become is another course sitting on your list of things you should be doing.

There are two main parts to this program:

Lessons and practices.

And honestly?

If you’re overwhelmed, skip the lessons.

Push play on the 10–15 minute guided routine and follow along like you would a yoga class.

You don’t need to study anything.
You don’t need to remember what to do.
You don’t need to figure yourself out.

Just follow along.

I had a coaching client book a call with me once, and when she appeared on the screen, I immediately knew we weren’t going to do typical coaching that day.

She was near tears. She was overstimulated. She just didn’t have the capacity for a big conversation.

So I told her she didn’t have to talk.

Instead, I invited her to follow along as we did some simple sensory exercises together—the same kinds of tools I’ll be teaching in this program.

Within minutes, she looked calmer.

After about twenty minutes, her voice was steadier. Her mind had settled. And most importantly, she had so much more hope than she’d had when she first got on the call.

We hadn’t analyzed her story.
We hadn’t changed her mindset.
We simply gave her body something different to do.

Does that mean you never need to talk things out, change your thoughts, journal, go for a walk, or take the day off?

Of course not.

I love many of those things too.

But sometimes you don’t have an hour.

Sometimes you have two minutes.

And one of the things I love about nervous system tools is how easily they can fit into an ordinary life.

I’ve used them while driving.
Lying in bed at night.
In public.
In private.
As part of my morning and evening routines.

And this is exactly why we’re practicing for 40 days.

Not because I want you to add “regulate my nervous system” to your already overwhelming to-do list.

But because I want these tools to become familiar enough that you begin to know what helps you.

Maybe you repeat the whole 10–15 minute routine.
Maybe you pull out one tool for a minute or two in the middle of your day.

Over time, you’re building more capacity for the everyday stress of being human—and becoming more familiar with ways to support yourself when you do get knocked off center.

You don’t need another thing to keep up with.

You need practices that can actually meet you inside the life you’re already living.

That’s what we’re going to practice together for 40 days.

With Peace,

Brooke

I had those interim weeks to deal with grief, but even with time to process, I was not prepared for what happened when I went to the funeral.

The funeral took place in a church building in my hometown that triggered some painful memories for me. I was bracing myself as I walked in, telling myself I’d be fine to enter a space that I had intentionally avoided for many years.

Add on top, the moment I walked inside I was immediately in a crowd of dozens of peers from high school and college which immediately flashed me back to my adolescent insecurities.

Now my body is activated, but at this point I’m still managing ok.

I found a place to sit down and moments later glanced down the row and noticed I’m sitting only a few people away from a person who caused deeeeeeeeeeep harm to me and my family.

(The kind of harm that requires a lifetime boundary of no contact.)

That was the tipping point…

Instantly, I was in a full-blown panic attack.

My body started shaking, I started crying, and I couldn’t breathe. It felt like the whole world was closing in on me, and I was in a very public place where you’re expected to be reverent and quiet.

It’s been a really long time since I’ve had a panic attack.

But here I was.

Thankfully, people expect you to cry at a funeral. Although I shed many tears for the passing of my friend, in that moment the tears were all for me.

I wanted to stay and honor my friend, but my nervous system was freaking out in big-time alarm.

First things first, I moved seats. I found another place to sit several rows in the back.

And then, I started doing my nervous system tools.

The only person who knew what was going on for me was my husband.

Otherwise, everything was discreet and, most importantly, effective.

So many different triggers converged at the same time for me at that funeral.

Sometimes life happens that way.

But I was so profoundly grateful I knew exactly how to support myself in that moment.

Not only was I able to bring myself down from the ledge of a panic attack, I was able to regulate enough to pay attention to the funeral, forget about the harmful person, and afterward meet up with old friends and feel authentic joy and presence.

The only way I could have relied on my tools in the midst of a peak state was because I practice this every day.

I didn’t have to try to remember what to do.

My body already knew.

And this is one of the biggest reasons I created 40 Days of Peace as a practice instead of just a course.

Because the middle of a highly activated moment is not the ideal time to learn something new.

You want to have practiced beforehand.

You want the tools to already feel familiar.

You want to know which ones your body responds to.

You want to have some experience finding your way back before life asks you to do it in a moment that really matters.

That’s what the 40 days are for.

This isn’t about becoming someone who never gets triggered.

We’re practicing to support your nervous system enough that when life happens, you’re not starting from scratch.

You’ve already practiced coming back to yourself.

This is the practice of peace.

Come join me for the challenge.

With Peace,

Brooke

She said to me,

“Brooke, this happens to you every year.
You always get burned out.
You always get overwhelmed.
You always have some hard family interaction you’re dreading at a family gathering…

I want you to put a reminder in your phone for next October:

REMINDER: Sit down and intentionally create a vision for what you want to experience for the holidays.”

For the record, everyone deserves a friend who will be deeply honest with you in helping you confront your own suffering.

She was right that every year was the same.
She was right that every year I went into the same holiday overwhelm patterns.
She was right that every year I complained about hard extended family relationships.

EVERY YEAR.

And if she was tired of my pattern, imagine how exhausted I was?

I had to live it!

I did as she directed and set a reminder in my phone for the following October, nine months in the future.

When October came around, the reminder popped up.

At first I ignored it.

Why?

Because I was feeling good!
I wasn’t overwhelmed in that moment!

So of course I assumed that this year would be different!

BAHA HA HA HAA.

Patterns are sneaky.

And the sneakiest part is that they often don’t care about your good intentions.

When the overwhelm started up just like it always did, I eventually set an hour aside to create a vision for how I wanted that year to be different.

I chose a mantra.
I changed my expectations.
I simplified.

And while this did help some things on the surface…

After 40+ years of practice, my BODY knows these patterns too.

The holidays have become associated with overwhelm, difficult family dynamics, disappointment, and stress.

MY BODY REMEMBERS.

And when it falls into that well-worn groove, it’s not going to fall for any positive thinking tricks.

For many years I would judge and shame myself for my inability to overcome this sabotaging holiday pattern. The worst parts of me always came out. No matter how many “tools” I employed, I have yet to experience a completely peaceful holiday season.

As I write this, I’m even thinking about last Christmas 9 months ago.
I spent half of the day crying and by myself.
ON CHRISTMAS DAY.

Yes, dear reader.
The holidays are hard for me.
Even with all the tools I had for support.

One of the beliefs I still have to watch out for is the belief that healing means you never get triggered again.

Or the belief that being triggered or having shadow patterns means something is wrong with you.

The truth is, humans are supposed to get triggered.

And while there are many things we can do to soften those triggers, the most important thing we can learn isn’t how to never get triggered again, but how to meet yourself with compassion when it happens.

How can you support yourself through activation?
How can you create more capacity for whatever your own big triggers are?

The timing of my 40 Days of Peace is by design.

It runs October 12–November 20.
(Up until the week before American Thanksgiving.)

I want to help you give yourself the greatest gift before the holiday haze hits.
(My own hardest season.)

What if you entered the holidays this year with more capacity than you usually have?

Imagine spending 40 days creating more capacity.
Imagine spending 40 days practicing compassion with yourself.
Imagine spending 40 days learning simple, practical, body-based tools that you can use to more gracefully move through the stressors of life.

These tools work directly with the nervous system and brain to create new patterns on the deepest level:

The level of the body.

It’s still a great idea to be intentional and pick your mantras or simplify your life.

Imagine what is possible when you know how to bring your body and nervous system into the equation as well.

My lows aren’t as low, and they don’t last as long. I recover so much faster.

But my favorite part?

I no longer have to judge and shame myself for my reactions.

I can offer compassion and patiently be with myself regardless of what’s happening in my nervous system.

It’s not personal.

It’s just the life of being a human.

So what patterns do you have?
What are your biggest triggers?
Would it be a gift to you—and your loved ones—to learn how to practice peace?

Come practice 40 Days of Peace with me.

You are a creator.
Feel, be, see, say, do.
The light in me honors the light in you.

With Peace,

Brooke

When my siblings and I were kids, we were supposed to be sleeping, but instead we were up late and still making noise.

My dad came stomping down the hall and yelled,

“QUIET! I don’t want to hear another peep out of you!”

He only made it halfway back to his bed when my brother quietly said…

“Peeeeeeeeeep!”

My dad absolutely lost it and blasted off like a rocket ship to outer space.

We thought it was hilarious.

He did not.

Now, lest you think my dad was always short-fused…

Compare that to another day when I accidentally drove my dad’s brand-new snowmobile through a barbed wire fence, hit a tree, broke the ski, and tore a huge hole in my expensive new ski suit.

I had basically wrecked everything.

And my dad?

He rushed over to make sure I was okay.

He didn’t yell at me or shame me or ask me how in the world I managed to hit the only tree in a big empty field

Still 30 years later, he’s never brought it up.

Same person.

Two completely different reactions.

Why?

Capacity.

The thing that sets you off isn’t always the whole problem.

Sometimes you have the capacity to take things in stride, and sometimes you’ve simply reached the final…

“Peeeeeeeeeep.”

This is one of the things we’re practicing in 40 Days of Peace.

Building more capacity.

This isn’t about trying to become someone who never gets triggered.

This is about creating more space before you hit the threshold, as well as more skill in compassionately supporting yourself when you do cross over that “peep” tipping point.

How can you support yourself before you hit your limit—as well as after?

That’s the kind of peace I’m interested in.

Capacity.

Peacefully,

Brooke

I know. Strange way to start an email inviting you to join one.

But if you’re anything like me, you’ve probably consumed a lot of information about how to become a better human.

You’ve read the books.
Listened to the podcasts.
Taken the classes.
Learned the mindset tools.

And all of those things can be incredibly helpful.

But knowing something intellectually is not the same as your body knowing it.

You can know you shouldn’t care what someone thinks—and still replay the conversation for hours.

You can know you’re allowed to set a boundary—and still question yourself the moment someone is disappointed.

You can know exactly how you want to respond—and still find yourself overwhelmed, angry, anxious, shut down, or reacting in ways you regret.

This is why I created 40 Days of Peace.

Not to give you more information to consume, but to give you something to practice.

Simple nervous system tools you can practice with your body until they become familiar.

Tools you can reach for when life gets hard.
When you’re overwhelmed.
When you’re angry.
When fear takes over.
When you can’t sleep.
When a difficult conversation has you spiraling.
When someone’s disappointment makes you question yourself.
Or when you’re trying to create something new and every part of you wants to retreat to what’s familiar.

For 40 days, we’ll practice together.

We’re not practicing to become someone who never gets triggered or overwhelmed.

We’re practicing to build more capacity for the stress of everyday life—and more ways to support yourself when you do get knocked off center.

The goal isn’t to never lose your peace.
It’s to know how to find your way back.

Enrollment for 40 Days of Peace is now open.

We begin October 12.

I’d love to practice with you.

With peace,

Brooke

P.S. If doing something for 40 days feels too big, rest assured—I’ve got you covered. This challenge is designed to help you win. Some days that might mean doing the whole guided routine. Some days it might mean practicing one tool for one minute. And if you miss a day? You simply come back. I’ve also got some fun little incentives planned to help gamify the experience and keep us practicing together. There is no perfect streak required here. Returning is the practice.

I had severe PTSD from a near-death pulmonary embolism in 2014. While I was so grateful to be alive, the aftermath was hard.

I was anxious all the time.
I was short-tempered.
I had mini panic attacks almost every day.
I had recurring nightmares.
I was struggling with the basic tasks of daily life.

I was doing all I could to “fix” the problem, but nothing helped.

Eventually, my sister suggested I try meditation as a means to cope and found a teacher who was offering a 40 Day Meditation challenge.

The challenge was simple: meditate every day for 40 days and see what happens.

I had nothing to lose, so I signed up.

That 40-day meditation challenge changed my life. Dare I even say, “saved” my life.

It was a turning point in so many ways. Not only did it dramatically help my trauma symptoms, but it turned into a sacred devotional practice I still do to this day twelve years later.

My passion for meditation eventually led me to teach meditation challenges to thousands of students afterwards.

I believed deeply in the power of a simple daily practice.

And I still do.

But here’s where my story takes an unexpected turn.

In 2022 my family went through a traumatic event that changed our lives and relationships overnight.

Little did I know this was only the domino for two other massive traumas that would follow and push my nervous system far beyond what I had ever experienced before.

I found myself living with profound fear and disillusionment. My worldview crashed. My identity crumbled.

My marriage, my family, my religion, my business, and everything that used to feel safe suddenly felt like something I could no longer trust.

So naturally, I turned to what helped me deal with trauma before.

I meditated.
And meditated.
And meditated.

But this time, things were different.

I felt okay while I was sitting on my meditation cushion. But the second I re-entered my real life, I could be instantly triggered into a rush of activation again.

I felt like I was always moments away from falling apart.

I couldn’t understand it.

Here was this practice I loved.
A practice that had profoundly changed my life.
A practice I had taught to thousands of people.

Why wasn’t it working for me now?!

Especially when I needed it most?!

Eventually I encountered an idea that completely shifted the way I understood what was happening:

Different nervous system states need different kinds of support.

Wait…

You mean maybe meditation isn’t the answer to everything?!!

For someone who had built an entire identity and business around teaching meditation, this was a little confronting.

But it was also incredibly hopeful.

Maybe the tool my body needed in this particular season was simply different from the tool that had supported me before.

And that sent me down a rabbit hole studying the nervous system.

I began learning simple neuro-somatic tools I could use in everyday life. Practical tools I could use in a few seconds or minutes.

Tools I could use in public.
In my car.
Lying in bed.
With my kids.
In a coaching session.

And perhaps most importantly, tools that helped me learn how to listen to my own nervous system instead of assuming what it needed.

I still meditate every day.

I still love it.

But now it’s one tool among many.

I’ve learned that sometimes my nervous system needs stillness… and sometimes it needs something entirely different.

This is a huge part of why I created 40 Days of Peace.

Maybe you’ve experienced this too.

Maybe you’ve had tools that helped you enormously at one point in your life, but suddenly they don’t seem to be enough.

Or maybe sitting still and meditating has never felt particularly supportive to your nervous system in the first place.

Your body is unique.

And learning how to listen to what your nervous system needs is a huge part of what we’ll practice together in 40 Days of Peace.

Because you can’t just think your way into peace. Your body has to come with you.

Delightfully,
Brooke

P.S. If you’ve ever struggled with meditation because sitting still feels impossible, I think you’re going to love experiencing some very different ways of supporting your nervous system.

If you’d like to go a little deeper:

→ Begin here: Free Meditation
A simple way to reconnect, reset, and experience this work for yourself.

→ Continue your practice: Meditation Library
A collection of guided meditations to help you move from understanding this work… to actually living it.

→Get support: Book a Clarity Call
A space to explore what you’re navigating and see if coaching together feels aligned. (Complimentary)

If you have any questions, just reply and ask!

Hundreds of books.

Have I read them all?

Oh goodness no! I have this rare condition where I see a book I just know is going to hold all the secrets of the universe that will solve all my problems and I buy it.

And then I start reading.
And then I see another book.
And I buy that one.
And start reading it.
Hundreds of books started, so many never finished…

While I still gained nuggets of wisdom, none of those amazing books brought me the ultimate thing I was hoping for.

So perhaps I should come clean on what it was I wanted…

I was searching for the secret knowledge that would fix me.
Fix me from being a person who reacts.

I so deeply wanted to learn how to stop getting triggered.

How can I move forward in my life without getting angry, disappointed, jealous, afraid, or judging myself…

Those annoying emotions and human responses got in the way of everything!

My relationships!
My goals!
My health!
All of it!

And thus, the search for “the thing” that will finally let me triumph over myself so I can be who I’m supposed to be.

And guess what?

No method or idea or program has ever worked for that.

NOT ONE!

At some point, I finally asked a really important question…

What if you don’t actually need to fix yourself?

What if you need to change your relationship to yourself—most especially your relationship to what your body is experiencing?

That question has completely changed the way I think about peace.

When I named my upcoming challenge 40 Days of Peace, I wasn’t imagining forty days of uninterrupted bliss where nothing and no one ever disrupts you.

This challenge is not about never getting triggered again.

Spoiler alert: the day you’re never triggered again is probably the day you die.

We’re supposed to get triggered.

It’s what the nervous system was designed to do.

But what can change is how you relate to yourself when you do.

More specifically, when you get triggered, do you:

Abandon yourself?

Or…

Do you know how to return to yourself?

This, dear ones, is how I define peace.

Peace is the practice of returning to yourself.

And for 40 Days of Peace, this is what we’re practicing together.

We’re not doing this through mindset alone.

You can’t just think your way into peace. Your body has to come with you.

Peace has to include the body.

So we’ll be learning and practicing neuro-somatic tools that help us work directly with what the body is experiencing.

We’re learning how to be with ourselves in compassion when triggers arise rather than immediately meeting ourselves with judgment and shame.

This isn’t just book learning.

It’s experiential learning.

I still love the nuggets of wisdom I’ve gained from all the pages of the books on my shelves. We do need cognitive ideas and insight.

But at some point, you have to learn through doing.

That’s what 40 Days of Peace is all about.

Come learn by doing with me.

You are a creator.
Feel, be, see, say, and do
The light in me honors the light in you.

Namaste,

brooke

If you’d like to go a little deeper:

→ Begin here: Free Meditation
A simple way to reconnect, reset, and experience this work for yourself.

→ Continue your practice: Meditation Library
A collection of guided meditations to help you move from understanding this work… to actually living it.

→Get support: Book a Clarity Call
A space to explore what you’re navigating and see if coaching together feels aligned. (Complimentary)

If you have any questions, just reply and ask!

And the #1 complaint I heard was always the same…

“I feel like I’m lying”.

Back then my solution was simple…

Of course it feels like a lie—you don’t believe it yet!
You’ve had years of practice believing the old story.
The new one will need some practice too.

So the remedy was lots and lots of repetition.

This approach can work…

However,

It can take a long time,
requires consistency,
and for some it can feel deflating right from the start.

Have you ever said an affirmation and had it fall flat?

We all go through periods in our life where we feel stuck. You want to change, you want to create something different, but maybe you lack the hope that what you want is possible.

What if I told you there was a more effective way?

Affirmations can still be a powerful tool and I use them daily.

But here’s the difference…

I now include my body.

The reason affirmations can feel untrue to you, is largely because your body doesn’t believe your mind. The body holds your fears and the nervous system’s job is to protect you.

Affirmations can sound motivating to the mind but also feel threatening to the body. And when that happens the mind and body are most definitely not on the same page.

Here’s what I have learned:

You can’t think your way into peace. Your body has to come with you.

It wasn’t until going through my own dark night of the soul and navigating trauma that I was forced to reckon with learning how the nervous system works.

How can I teach my body that I’m actually safe when it keeps recalling memories of betrayal and rejection?

How can I teach my body that I’m actually safe when all I can feel in the moment is frozen, numb, and sad?

How can I believe that a new life is possible for me, or a new relationship, or a new opportunity, when my body is still remembering my past and won’t let me forget?

I can say all the affirmations I want, but in this state, it isn’t going to work.

I can do mindset work all day long, but in this state, it isn’t going to last long-term.

The body keeps the score.

As much as I would never want to repeat the traumatic events I’ve been through, the greatest gift that has come from those experiences has been learning to speak the language of my nervous system.

And FYI, the nervous system doesn’t speak in words. It speaks in sensation.

As a certified coach in Neuro Somatics, I am excited to finally share the exact tools you can use to signal safety to your body.

That’s why I created 40 Days of Peace.

This is a 40 Day Challenge where the intent is to practice these tools on yourself for 40 days to not only experience shifts in your own nervous system, but to build your own daily practice that can support you for the rest of your life.

These tools are simple, short, high-impact, and I wish I would have grown up learning them. It would have saved me so much needless suffering. But I’m paying it forward to future generations by teaching my own kids how to use these tools, as well as anyone else who is willing to practice them with me.

And as for those affirmations?

They feel 100x more powerful when you say them when your body feels safe.

And the best part is that when your body feels safe, the reprogramming of beliefs happens so much faster, and you reap the benefits in that very moment without waiting for some future time when your body finally believes you.

If this is piquing your interest, I’d love to have you join me.

Join the waitlist to be the first to know.

You are a creator.
Feel, be, see, say, and do
The light in me honors the light in you.

Namaste,

brooke

If you’d like to go a little deeper:

→ Begin here: Free Meditation
A simple way to reconnect, reset, and experience this work for yourself.

→ Continue your practice: Meditation Library
A collection of guided meditations to help you move from understanding this work… to actually living it.

→Get support: Book a Clarity Call
A space to explore what you’re navigating and see if coaching together feels aligned. (Complimentary)

If you have any questions, just reply and ask!

“99% of the work is figuring out what you want.
1% is making it happen.”

It certainly highlights the power of clarity, and I have been questioning if I actually know what I want ever since.

Too many times I have pursued things I was taught I should want or what other people wanted for me…

And guess what?

It just doesn’t feel the same as when you discover what your own soul authentically desires.

Maybe it’s part of being in mid-life and not wanting to spend the second half of my life being and doing what everyone else tells me to be and do. They say one of the biggest regrets of the dying is that they didn’t live authentically to who they were. I’m determined to not let that be me.

If 99% of the work is figuring out what you want, then it should be no surprise that the work includes seeing through fear and all the limiting beliefs that you have armed yourself with to protect you from failure, getting hurt, or feeling like you don’t belong.

Safety plays a big role in what you believe you can receive and create.

The parts of you that are afraid and doing their best to protect you don’t just willingly step aside to show you the desires they’ve been guarding if they don’t trust you will be safe with that knowledge.

I know that’s pretty dramatic language, but it’s been my lived experience the past few years.

After going through several years of trauma in my personal and professional life, I’ve spent the past few years in a little cocoon of healing and learning.

My life slowed down a lot. I downsized my team. I stopped teaching live courses. I told myself I just needed to earn one more certification and then I’d teach a group program again.

FOUR CERTIFICATIONS later, I’ve found myself saying,

“I like the slow life. I’m happy here. I am totally content just having a handful of one-on-one clients and staying on the sidelines. I’ll just write my weekly emails and live life. That feels spacious and lovely.”

And it was.

Until I asked myself what I really wanted and got curious about that 99%…

I’ve been slowly excavating through my own layers of fear and unbelief using neuro somatic tools to simultaneously let my body know I’m safe.

Here’s what has happened:

The more safety my body felt in learning what was in my heart, the more I’ve uncovered what I really want.

Safety and clarity go hand in hand.

In time, what I really wanted has begun to reveal. And turns out it’s bigger than I was currently allowing for.

Don’t get me wrong, I still want a simple, slow life. But I also want to make an impact in the world at the same time.

And…

I’ve been playing small so I wouldn’t get hurt again.

There’s a season when this kind of retreat is wise. We do need time to recover from pain and trauma. We do need time to settle and integrate. But the next season always calls for us to create again.

Fall and Winter are the seasons of letting go and dying.
Spring and Summer are the seasons of rebirth and flourishing.

As much as we may tell ourselves that we want to stay in a figurative winter long-term so we don’t have to go get our hopes up and flourish only to meet another season of loss and death, that’s not how life works.

You will go through many deaths and rebirths. Over and over again. It’s the cycle of life designed for the world we live in.

Part of my justification to stay in my own winter where it’s cozy and secluded has been the belief that,

“It’s selfish to want to make a big impact.
It’s selfish to play big.”

Last night in a coaching session, my coach invited me to forgive my judgements about playing big and say what was really true. I was shocked when this is what came from the depths of my heart…

“I forgive myself for buying into the misunderstanding that playing big is selfish.

The truth is, playing small is far more selfish…

Playing small is making it all about me and my fears and my protection and me not wanting to get hurt again. Playing small is hoarding my gifts and wisdom from those who need it.

Playing big is rooted in service. I want to help others and share the wisdom and tools that have helped me navigate the hardest years of my life.”

We both sat there stunned.

Playing small is more selfish?????

What?!

Talk about what felt like the turn around of the century!

I wouldn’t have been ready for that insight six months ago (which is why it didn’t come until now), but seeing it from this perspective has really helped me see my own wants differently.

If you find yourself playing small somewhere in your own life, I first want to offer compassion. I’ve felt that too. And there’s a time and place where that can be the best thing.

But there’s always a spring that follows winter.

And the world needs you to play bigger when you’re ready.

It feels fitting to dust off the famous Marianne Williamson quote about now. I know you’ve likely heard this one before, and I invite you to hear it again from the perspective of playing small as selfish (or protective) and playing big as service.

She says,

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Playing big sounds like one of the bravest and most service-oriented things you could do.

And I want to note that the core of playing big has less to do with what you DO and more to do with who you are to BE.

The most audacious, brave thing you can offer the world is to BE yourself. Which means allowing yourself to like what you like and want what you want…

And remember… 99% of the work is knowing what you want.

This is what I know so far:

Your authentic wants are what lights you up.

Marianne is right in saying that it is not our darkness that we fear, but our light…

We can fear what lights us up. We can fear what our souls authentically desire and want.

I don’t know anything more beautiful than watching someone be lit up by their authentic desires. Whether that’s the simplicity of just being in nature or with family, or engaging in a hobby or talent, or pursuing a goal that is deeply meaningful, or building or creating something you’re fulfilled by.

So what lights you up?
What do you want?

The two are inextricably connected. You’ll know you have tapped into your wants when it makes you come alive and shine.

However, when outside sources tell you what you’re supposed to want, it messes with the unfolding, especially if your wants don’t match. You end up judging your desires and burying them deep. If you have gotten hurt, disappointed, or judged for your wants in the past, you may even subconsciously believe your wants are dangerous.

Which is exactly why you can’t embark upon this path without at least enough sense of safety that you know you won’t die from allowing yourself to lean into your wants.

AND

You can cultivate enough safety to show up with courage and faith if you understand how to work with the body.

If you’re wanting support to cultivate your own safety so you can learn what you want and play bigger, then I’m happy to announce

I’m opening a group class that starts on October 12, sharing the same neuro tools I have been using on myself.

Join our waiting list by clicking the image below!

Remember, the world needs what you have to offer. Let’s create the safety that will support you in bringing this forth.

You are a creator.
Feel, be, see, say, and do
The light in me honors the light in you.

Namaste,

brooke

If you’d like to go a little deeper:

→ Begin here: Free Meditation
A simple way to reconnect, reset, and experience this work for yourself.

→ Continue your practice: Meditation Library
A collection of guided meditations to help you move from understanding this work… to actually living it.

→Get support: Book a Clarity Call
A space to explore what you’re navigating and see if coaching together feels aligned. (Complimentary)

If you have any questions, just reply and ask!

Last night I had an illuminating moment in which I knew what my ego considered my biggest “sin” to be…

And when I heard it, I literally gasped.

The “worst” thing I’ve ever done?

BE ME.

As soon as I heard this, my entire body ached with how many decades I have believed that the worst thing I’ve done is to “be myself”.

It was like my entire life flashed before my eyes, and I saw moment after moment that I felt:

Shame for feeling an “unacceptable” emotion…
Shame for having a different opinion

Shame for wanting what I’m not supposed to want…
Shame for not wanting what I am supposed to want…

Shame for being a woman that doesn’t match the gendered role I was taught to be…
Shame for my body…
Shame for having a nervous system that reacts to life.

It’s no surprise that when I believed that being me was bad or wrong, that I would spend so much time trying to fix or change myself.

I recently watched this amazing clip from Dr. Gabor Mate, where he explains two human needs we all have:

1. 1. Authenticity
   2. Attachment

He says, “When belonging and being yourself come into conflict, a child will always choose belonging.”

I have chosen belonging so many times at the expense of my authentic self.

And I need to pause a moment to broaden what authentic self means here, because most of my life, when I heard ‘authentic self’, warning bells went off in my brain. It sounded like an excuse to be difficult, non-conforming, and recklessly selfish.

But the truth is, I betray my authenticity every time I suppress my emotions and judge that I should be different than I am.

Your authenticity is what reality is. It’s the innocence of everything you think, feel, love, and long for.

And when this is what is judged and suppressed, we will live in conflict with who we are.

As I sat in my closet in the dark, witnessing this insight into my biggest sin, it was a moment of reclamation.

This belief stops now.

Being me is NOT a sin.
Being me is My Divine Calling.

I’ve come a long way in how I perceive life purpose.

I used to really focus on how it was what I was meant to DO in this life.

The longer I live, the more I realize that my life purpose is who I am meant to BE.

And who I am meant to be is my authentic self.

An apple tree doesn’t try to be an oak.
It fulfills its divine creation in being the apple tree.
It doesn’t strive to be different, fix itself, or earn its place. It simply honors what it is and grows from there.

If you’ve been sacrificing authenticity for attachment, honoring your authentic self is an ongoing moment-to-moment journey.

There can be a lot to unlearn and repattern.

But the alignment of living true to who you are is worth it.

Now that I’m an adult and have learned how to love my inner child, I am finding beautiful ways to be authentic AND have attachment.

We need both. One without the other is incomplete.

It’s true that some people will naturally un-attach from me as I show up authentically (and they have…)

But what I have noticed is that the attachments that remain or are newly created are even deeper and more loving than ever before.

After all,

It’s hard to feel genuinely loved by others when you aren’t allowing your authentic self to be loved or seen by you.

So, dear one…

Where are you giving up authenticity for attachment? What could happen if you allowed your authenticity to be welcomed?

You are a creator.
Feel, be, see, say, and do.
The light in me honors the light in you.

Namaste,

brooke

P.S. I realize that on the deepest level I am not my emotions, I am not my thoughts, and I am not my body…. But on the level of ego, which does identify with all of this, those elements become reasons to judge and reject myself. Authenticity simply embraces these elements as part of the human experience and loves what is without judgement. The result? A whole lot less suffering and the ability to live life with more love and acceptance.

Years ago I signed up to ride a century. I had never undertaken such a massive challenge and spent months training for this event. One week before the ride, I badly injured my back, and I could hardly move. The only pain-free position was lying flat on my back.

And yet…

I was determined to ride this race.

I don’t know what I thought I had to prove, but surely, there was something. And it quite likely had to do with needing love and approval from imaginary people.

Perhaps I needed to be seen as fit so I could feel better about my body?

Maybe I needed to be seen as someone who never gives up just because of an injury? I mean, if I did opt out, then I was probably looking for an excuse, right?

Despite my injury, I chose to ride the race.

My sweet biking friend and I waited for the race to begin at 8:30 a.m. As first-timers riding the hundred-mile route, we didn’t realize that the other hundred-mile cyclists had started hours earlier. Instead, we were lining up with people riding much shorter routes that day.

Surprisingly, I managed to ride the bike.

What was terrible was getting on and off. But I endured.

I’m sure my injury and lack of experience slowed us down in addition to starting later than we should have. But I didn’t give up, and I pressed onward.

We made it to our lunch rest stop, and the staff was cleaning up all the food because the rest of the 100-miler riders were long since gone. We managed to get a few scraps of what was left and continued on.

When I finally made it to the finish line over 9 hours later, everything was being packed away.

There were no riders left.

No families cheering people on as we rode through the air-filled arch in celebration.

In fact, the finish line arch was already packed up and gone.

I had just completed one of the most challenging physical feats of my life, and no one was there to see it.

No one was there to cheer and tell me I did amazing.

And worst of all…there was no medal.

NO MEDAL!

I just rode a freaking hundred miles with an injury, no less, and no one gave me a medal!?!?!?!

I have medals for events far less impressive.

Years later, I still feel the injustice of no recognition. No proof that I did something hard. I pushed past my limits, and no one cares.

Where else have I done this in life?

Dress a certain way.

Have my body look a certain way.

Take on responsibilities or goals to be seen a certain way.

I could list things for days.

And the irony is that no one gives you a medal for any of that either. And yet I fool myself that if I can just do xyz, surely I will finally arrive.

But that “finish line” just keeps getting packed up before I get there.

I thought I wanted the love and acceptance of others, when really, all I wanted was for me to love me.

I’ve done so much work the past few years learning to love myself. So when this memory surfaced this week, I brought it into meditation and visualized myself awarding that tired cyclist a medal. I told her she did amazing riding her bike, I cheered for her, and then I told her she never has to ride injured again. I would love her whether she rode a hundred miles or sat at home on the couch.

It’s been good for me to look at my life and ask,

How am I contorting myself in hopes of a medal from someone else?

And better yet, can I give myself the medal?

If I do, what happens?

Maybe it reveals what motivations are authentic and which ones I’ve taken on just to please others.

Life is too short to seek medals that are never coming.

What if…

We could just love ourselves exactly as we are right now and enjoy our amazing life.

What would that be like?

You are a creator.

Feel, be, see, say, do.

The light in me honors the light in you.

Namaste,

brooke