Not that anyone is sitting around & pining for me to pontificate here, but on the off chance that you were – well it’s your lucky day!

Let’s see – where did we leave off? Yeah I was content. Over my ex. Exercising regularly. And whilst this was true for the most part, it was also a hollow sort of contentment. Em moved to the US & then another bestie who lived across the street from me moved abroad for work. Suddenly I was lonely af. The pandemic didn’t help & I began to question my entire need for existence all over again.

Some people use alcohol or narcotics to numb the pain. My drug of choice has always been carbs. I learned the hard way that you can’t outrun a bad diet. But also that bad diets are so fucking good in that moment.

So my body did what bodies tend to do when you don’t look after them. It was like, “Fuck you! These are extremely poor working conditions & I refuse to put up with this shit!“. My blood pressure (Oh MY GOD! I AM SO MIDDLE AGED) was close to stroke levels. My cholesterol (JESUS! THERE’S THAT REMINDER OF MIDDLE AGE AGAIN) was breaking records. So I had to ‘Do Something’

The good thing about not wanting or having children is that you tend to have a lot of spare income and I used that to find a personal trainer knows what they’re doing when it comes to training & nutrition. So the last few months have been a revelation and here’s the shocking news – I don’t really eat rice any more. I am South Indian ke naam pe dhabba. I also don’t eat rotis any more so I am also North Indian ke naam pe dhabba. (My mum is North Indian & dad is South Indian). It’s not that I never eat them, but it’s not often and it’s in moderation always.

I also lift heavy weights. I love strength training! Though the MOST shocking news, for those who know me, is that for the last 5 months, I have started to run regularly. And I finally experience that thing, I thought, regular runners were lying about – ‘runners high’.

As a result of all this, I am the strongest & fittest I’ve ever been. I’m pleasantly shocked when I see my reflection in the mirror.

In other news, Em is planning to move back to London in the near future. No we are not a couple again, but we are forever bonded & we are a family.

I haven’t dated anyone since I last wrote here. I hate the dating apps with the passion of a 1000 burning suns. I download them once every few months & when I get to the registration screen, I feel a sense of despair so deep that I think – “I would rather die single than put myself through this torture.”

So thanks to this extremely impractical attitude, I am probably going to die alone. I am actually fine with that but I would really like some regular hot sex before I die alone. Unfortunately, I also don’t like one night stands, so I am going to die alone with my sexual organs in primo condition!

On that beautiful image, farewell my lovely non existent audience.