tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8955561045028508212Thu, 15 May 2008 10:59:09 +0000http://brownieordie.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.com (Jessica)Blogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8955561045028508212.post-4535059873216428726Sun, 20 Apr 2008 16:21:00 +00002008-04-20T12:27:34.521-04:00This bar blog is closing. I could not keep up with my own promise to bake, eat, and write regularly. My expanding waistline shrunk those ambitions. Thank you - sincerely, truly - for reading Brownie or Die. If you are an aspiring professional interested in networking, please check out my new blog, Biz Plop. It's a work in progress and could use your input.http://brownieordie.blogspot.com/2008/04/last-call.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Jessica)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8955561045028508212.post-411913938925652323Mon, 14 Apr 2008 13:12:00 +00002008-04-14T13:48:37.715-04:00WisdomYou can count on me to furnish dessert at meetings, parties, and potlucks; I never turn down an opportunity to seduce strangers with sugar. I bring bar desserts, natch, but my allegiance to the 8 x 8-inch pan is not so rabid as to blind me to reason. I'll concede that cupcakes are trendy and pies are homey. The beauty of bars, however, is fivefold: No Transportation Trouble - Bars can be http://brownieordie.blogspot.com/2008/02/why-bars-are-better.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Jessica)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8955561045028508212.post-7361280977907012228Fri, 21 Mar 2008 11:52:00 +00002008-03-21T10:44:04.538-04:00BlondiesThe blank canvas is a vastly exciting thing; it is frozen in meaninglessness until we mark it. Poised before a plain white sheet, we wield an extraordinary and uniquely human power of creation. Few other life forms (a) have imaginings which (b) they can transcribe into physical reality. Elephants with paintbrushes don't count. Musicians start with silence and sculptors with a slab of marble, http://brownieordie.blogspot.com/2008/03/pastel-chip-on-my-shoulder.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Jessica)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8955561045028508212.post-263565500679681252Thu, 06 Mar 2008 19:46:00 +00002008-03-08T22:39:01.134-05:00Asian BarsBlondiesOxymorons: Easy run. Holy crap. Asian dessert. My professional role model, Jeffrey Steingarten, once compared Indian desserts to face creams. Indians aren't the only Asians whose sweets stink. Japanese mochi - gelatinous wads of rice paste filled with red beans - are retired wrist rests. Taiwanese bubble tea is not even bubbly; it's watered-down tapioca pudding. You could argue that most http://brownieordie.blogspot.com/2008/03/its-your-thaang.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Jessica)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8955561045028508212.post-5054882817127896523Sat, 23 Feb 2008 13:54:00 +00002008-02-23T09:51:28.464-05:00Classic BrowniesBig A, little a, what begins with A? Austrians eating apricots A...a...A Big B, little b, what begins with B? Baking a brownie base Buttery and bittersweet Big C, little c, what begins with C? A caliginous coat of chocolate C...c...C Big D, little d, what begins with D? Decorous dessert done differently Documented in ditty Sacherbrownies Brownies: 2 oz. unsweetened chocolate, chopped 4 http://brownieordie.blogspot.com/2008/02/sacherbrownies-suessified.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Jessica)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8955561045028508212.post-2203882367139999853Sat, 16 Feb 2008 13:56:00 +00002008-02-17T08:12:18.562-05:00In February, for the first time in my life, I spat out chocolate. Three times. Episode #1: While meandering through the faux marché of my local Wegmans, I spotted a bony little bakery sprite safeguarding a tray of truffles behind the counter. I don't wish to intimidate people with my height (I'm 5'11; chocolate milk did this body good) except in the procurement of free food. I sidled up tohttp://brownieordie.blogspot.com/2008/02/in-poor-taste.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Jessica)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8955561045028508212.post-6527857983559138635Thu, 14 Feb 2008 14:45:00 +00002008-02-14T22:42:41.578-05:00Miscellaneous Bars The casuality with which we throw around the term "comfort food" is discomfiting. Not everything warm and wintry is comforting because comfort is not simply a biological response to seasonal changes or stress. A food which comforts does so because it is familiar, and familiar in the sense that it has been introduced through - and its taste espoused by - familial connections. Chocolate Chip http://brownieordie.blogspot.com/2008/02/love-with-milk.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Jessica)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8955561045028508212.post-1228943321663401839Sun, 10 Feb 2008 14:14:00 +00002008-02-10T12:21:20.227-05:00ActivismA week ago Gourmet made me guffaw: the magazine proclaimed that a certain Devil Dog Cake, while as easy to make as a pan of brownies, could gratify every desire that brownies could not. This I found hard to believe. I baked the Devil Dog Cake, following the recipe to the letter, so that I might judge for myself the cake's caliber. As promised, the Devil Dog Cake was a cinch to prepare. I had http://brownieordie.blogspot.com/2008/02/dog-defeated.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Jessica)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8955561045028508212.post-8040416014454174051Mon, 04 Feb 2008 12:39:00 +00002008-02-04T20:18:18.482-05:00ActivismQ: Does a food blogger whose site draws a mere 35 visitors a day (hi Mom!) have a future in food writing? A: No, but if she did she would kill it now by publically boycotting the February 2008 issue of Gourmet. I was gazing wantonly at Gourmet magazine's dessert recipes when a seemingly innocuous little caption cut me to the quick. I read the sentence only once before stashing Gourmet back in http://brownieordie.blogspot.com/2008/02/libel.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Jessica)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8955561045028508212.post-7830480664495441468Fri, 01 Feb 2008 12:21:00 +00002008-02-01T09:17:22.666-05:00Miscellaneous BarsLet's get this comparison out of the way: Moving on. Green is a color not naturally found in the dessert world. Where it does appear it is light in hue: key lime pies are pale yellow with green undertones, pastel green is the visual clue for mint, and matcha effects a muted grey-green in baked goods. There is one exception to this generality, an exception our http://brownieordie.blogspot.com/2008/02/pistachios-for-whippersnappers.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Jessica)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8955561045028508212.post-5195357506035670791Mon, 28 Jan 2008 01:02:00 +00002008-02-01T07:20:48.425-05:00Miscellaneous BarsThis is me trying to fit in. One of my hopes for this blog is that it will not become just another precious, obscenity-free homage to sugar. If it does I will no doubt be readerless; there are many bloggers who are better at baking/photographing/driveling than I. Ergo, I beg for internet attention by both exploiting an obscure dessert niche and by holding fast to my snarky tone. My cool http://brownieordie.blogspot.com/2008/01/disproportionate-cheesecake.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Jessica)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8955561045028508212.post-4312938245822766091Mon, 21 Jan 2008 01:12:00 +00002008-01-22T21:22:12.226-05:00Reduced Fat BrowniesClose your eyes and try to remember the last time you were satisfied by a reduced-fat baked good. Recall the texture: did it feel like dessicated cardboard on your tongue, or was it more like sawdust? Recapture the baked good's flavor. If your memory is failing you, suck on chalk. The urge to consume massive amounts of chocolate hit me recently, and it hit me hard. This happens frequently; http://brownieordie.blogspot.com/2008/01/butterless-buzz-brownies.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Jessica)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8955561045028508212.post-4457551547012013197Thu, 17 Jan 2008 01:40:00 +00002008-01-21T10:14:15.425-05:00Classic BrowniesGabby was in my French class. There were many reasons to hate her, chief and most puzzling among them the fact that she spoke French fluently. Also, she was a porcelain-complected redhead with a button nose, no body fat, and the easy self-confidence of a woman twice her age. Amidst her cripplingly awkward, puberty-stricken peers, Gabby looked as out of place as a quadriplegic 'Nam vet on the http://brownieordie.blogspot.com/2008/01/new-york-times-tte-tte-iii.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Jessica)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8955561045028508212.post-6444797901543793644Sun, 13 Jan 2008 22:35:00 +00002008-01-13T20:30:48.587-05:00Classic BrowniesBefore I compare the New Classic Brownies to the aforementioned Supernatural Brownies, I should - as your arbiter of recipe reputability - disclose my biases. Sure, an objectively perfect brownie cannot and should not exist. To each his own brownie that promises bliss. My personal preferences, however, make a fine foundation for anyone's standards of brownie excellence: Texture - The density http://brownieordie.blogspot.com/2008/01/new-york-times-tte-tte-ii.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Jessica)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8955561045028508212.post-1389888277810628723Fri, 11 Jan 2008 18:31:00 +00002008-01-13T17:35:08.913-05:00Classic BrowniesIf you're reading this blog, you're likely the kind of sophisticated foodie who would have devoured Julia Moskin's article, "Simple Pleasure, American Style" in the New York Times last April. Moskin deftly described the history and defining characteristics of the brownie and sprinkled her piece with technical points from seasoned bakers. By now many bloggers have tried one of the three brownie http://brownieordie.blogspot.com/2008/01/new-york-times-tte-tte.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Jessica)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8955561045028508212.post-3596797070797419213Wed, 09 Jan 2008 00:28:00 +00002008-01-08T20:45:19.232-05:00BlondiesIn 2007 we watched a parade of classless women dress themselves to the nines, drink themselves to fame, and then hit their heads on cop car roofs. Why didn't we turn away? Because incidences offered by Paris, Lindsay, Britney, et al. give us the chance to say - free of irony - "What was she thinking?!" We are safe from snappy comebacks because most of us have never taken Jell-O shots during http://brownieordie.blogspot.com/2008/01/trashy-blondes.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Jessica)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8955561045028508212.post-3717426985496389196Mon, 07 Jan 2008 02:12:00 +00002008-01-08T20:42:58.575-05:00For a minute, I hesitated to write the word "dessert" in this blog's subtitle. But I realized with self-conscious clarity that to type anything but "dessert" would defeat the purpose of BROWNIE OR DIE (henceforth, BOD). My moment of pause revealed how impulsive is the knee-jerk condescension towards the brownie: we do not naturally consider fudgey four-by-fours dessert in and of themselves. http://brownieordie.blogspot.com/2008/01/mission-statement.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Jessica)