We both know you could have prevented it if you wanted to. But you didn’t. I know that there is an appointed time for all of us with eternity. I just wish you could have scheduled her appointment a little farther down the road. We could discuss the ramifications of free will that you’ve gifted everyone and how it impacts all of us. But that doesn’t bring any one back from the dead.

 I’m nearly speechless here. I’m filled with a wild mixture of love and pain, resentment, sadness, and one giant question mark about your plans. Right away I feel responsible to speak for you about why you allow this kind of tragedy. But even an accurate answer would not change the aching of hearts broken. And seeing a nine year old lying in a coffin will never look right to me.

 Personally I can see how you move most of us along as a direct result of the current pain we’re in. Nothing seems to change without the pain of loss. It’s the only way we overcome our fears of changing the way things are. I pray her sacrifice is not wasted. That what needs to change in our lives here will be brought to pass. And I pray that children lost will speak to us from their shortened lives that we are responsible to love those we love deeply with all the immediacy that this moment brings.

 A friend of yours told me there’s a difference between endurance and perseverance. The first is a matter of toleration while the second is a real pursuit, a moving forward in the belief that “love” will always win, truth will overcome, and darkness will dissipate. I’m picking what’s behind door number two in this case.

 Take care of Erica for us, give her some hugs and kisses too. Let us rest in the pleasure of knowing that she is in your arms, safe and secure from all alarm.

And give us the strength to live fearlessly because we knew her to be that way. Until we meet again Erica, we’re leaving a light on for you down here!

 Thanks for letting me share… amen

 I thought building a fan base on line was the new way to validate my career until I saw a 13 year old girl’s twitter page the other day. She had 20,000 followers! And she doesn’t sing or play an instrument. They tell me if you can amass 1000 followers you can make money! I wouldn’t know that for sure. I can only talk to maybe a hundred people a day even limiting myself to 140 characters. That’s also the number of “characters” that follow me should the truth be known. Granted that’s a larger audience than Ali Baba had with the 40 thieves. But eliminate the social media experts, real estate agents and positive affirmation gurus. Then see how many followers are junk twitters with pretty face twit pics attached to make you think yer talking to some hot young thing. You then discover yer true followers start to round off closer the numbers you might find at a Tupperware party.

 I was disappointed to find that two of my followers were actually the same guy with two accounts! And now I’m feeling like Gideon has surrounded me with just 300 of his finest but they all have matching torches. Now if you sit for five minutes in front of the home page where your followers post their incomplete sentences @someoneelse, you get the feeling of watching the river run. There are no ripples when you throw a pebble into a babbling brook.

Twitter mania gives me this visual of a hail storm on a lake. It’s an awesome sight! But then no one is focusing on any one splash. I can still remember being told you weren’t serious about your career if you didn’t have a website! Now my website is just a junk drawer where I post my twitters for those who missed em on Facebook. And with the new tech I can now have my twitters broadcast to any number of web configurations. Have you ever been in a restaurant when suddenly the volume goes up because everyone in the place has decided to start talking at the same time? You can’t hear your own conversation at some point. It’s not long till you find yourself shouting “LETS GO SOMEWHERE QUIETER WHERE I CAN HEAR YOU.”

 Now don’t get me wrong here. The new social media has it’s place. But it’s also the equivalent of the hotel lobby some of you might remember during Gospel Music Association’s week long convention. If you’ve been there you are aware of how many times someone was talking to you and looking over your shoulder to see who else might be worth handing their service card to. Once again we must be reminded of individual relationship and personal attention. Seeing real people and hearing them as well. It’s an age old human defect, where our one mouth outperforms our two ears.

 The first time I listened to a twitter head was when I was looking for advice about how much time to devote to amassing a twitter following. Hop Hopkins of Oklahoma told me he spends maybe ten minutes a day taking an interest in one or two individuals. The one truth that I have seen floating through Twitterville is that everyone is looking for encouragement and motivation. It’s the new recovery group phone call when yer facing relapse. Coined phrases float across every page, words of wisdom and insight and in my case humor! I have real people sorted into group listings to keep up with followers who resonate with one or more passions: Ministry, motorcycles, rehab and recovery, readers and quote-rs, musicians, and business professionals.

 I see social media as a perpetual convention mostly. It beats handing out flyers in the parking lot by a nose. So, yes, meet and greet but don’t forget the eye contact. Work does come from the effort but not before the synergy of resonating with passionate souls. And who knows maybe you’ll find some like minds who don’t fall into your marketing demographic! If there’s one thing that inspires me about “on line fishing” is that every once in a while I’ll have a conversation with someone in Indonesia or Scotland who’s feeling the exact same sense of futility in tryin to talk to too many people at once!

Here’s where I don’t want God’s job, hearing all the prayers and direct messaging the entire worlds population. But I do believe it’s a whole new way of being “in the world” just as long as you’re not “full of it!”  

On Twitter I have only 140 characters before I’m through. Here I get at least 800 words! “OMG” It’s like 3200 tweets with no interjections!

But if you’d rather hear less of me, I’m at twitter.com/bryan_duncan  where you can find me immediately if you feel my take is not that ”GR8”, or just to “LOL”. Here’s a new one “GFAC”..(Go Forth And Conquer)

should you like to post comments and get a quicker response, I’ve found it easier to casually address individuals directly on Twitter.com!

go to www.twitter.com/bryan_duncan if you’d like a direct response. I’m on their almost daily at some point. even now I’m finding a new road in Social Media.

my website will still remain a home for pictures and longer reads and especially for sales of music and such. But like the world itself we are all finding an ever changing universe.

I have a harder time with change these days but after the initial complaints I’m discovering a whole new adventure. It’s not familiar territory but at least I’m not bored! 8). kinda like a roller coaster ride at some point.

Every musician and artist goes through the highs and lows of popularity. But concerts as a way of outreach has been horribly discounted in recent years and with the decline of the music business in the way of hard sales of product due to downloading and theft  has left me in a position of attaching myself to what ever draws the audience.

I have spent countless hours before God, in anticipation of a new vision with regards to what I’m doing. Touring holds no passion for me these days. The road life was so unproductive for me as to leave me nearly corrupted. The cost was enormous! And my losses in the way of community and family have left me with a floundering sense of true purpose.

I’m incredibly slow at processing my dilemma’s. I remain stuck in my own denial. my persception is untrustworthy mostly. I become paranoid about what I believe to be happening. Is it merely my own decline? or is there a decline everywhere, that music is not the force that it once was.

Is it just that older people (like myself) just don’t have time to attend concerts? Unless drinks are served in a comfortable and entertaining atmosphere no one makes the effort.

true that one man will travel 8 hours to hear me sing. but those ten minutes away find some distraction that prevents them from attending.  and so I am relegated to participating in someone else’s agenda.

The information super highway has made it hard to get anyone’s attention for more than a few seconds and the demand for new material is almost oppressive. Headlines with little content continues to be the wave. Give me the readers digest version. I’ll check out “Whatever” for dummies and move on.

Clearly the world has drastically changed and I have not kept up. Typical old person feeling I’m sure. “the world went and got itself in a big damn hurry” says a convict getting out after a 20 year prison sentence. In the movie Shawshank Redemption.

“Either get busy livin or get busy dyin” they add in that story. I’m choosing life myself. but I’m also like the star character in this movie. Tunneling through 200 feet of stone wall with a small rock hammer!

Here’s prayin that we may find what God intends because all else is a waste of time. If it is darkest just before the dawn… then surely the dawn is at hand now more than ever!

 I’m a newlywed at Fifty Six! Raising two teenage daughters! Well I’m throwing money at the problems anyway. I wrote two books and had one published. My first acknowledgement that music might not be a sustainable compensation. My fingerprints are on file at the police station too. A true sign that I’m still not above the law and spiritual insights don’t always translate to appropriate behavior.

It feels like I’m changing horses in the middle of a stream. It’s uncomfortable sometimes but then there is a real sense of adventure again that I didn’t see coming.

I’m not sure the new Social Media circus I’ve joined is not corrupting my writing skills. The punch line has to come before the joke can be told. It comes with a realization that nobody pays attention to anything for more than a few seconds. I signed up for FaceBook and Twitter, posting everyday in hopes of rebuilding visibility for my work.

I tend to judge my worth by number of comments on my sites. Still lookin for validation in the wrong places perhaps. I read more books this year than ever but missed my goals by half.

I bought a car that I don’t drive. Lost all my back memory on Computer to a theft. “old things are passed away because I didn’t back it up”. I’ve tripled the list of  co laborers I know by first and last name.

I book most of my own shows and handle my own travel. I write and produce and look for true synergy. I started a non profit public charity for Radio Rehab. I’ve gone from “Singer/songwriter” to “content provider” in a single year.

The good news is, no body I know well died this year! (though a couple of friends tried). I’m still reasonably functional too, still walkin which became a problem several months back. I’m old enough to worry about not recovering from a health set back. I only got sick once. which is still once more than usual for me. But I watched my dad suffer a stroke and fight with Alzheimer’s at the same time. A not too subtle message of preparation for what comes before eternal life!

Amazing Grace continues to be my favorite song. I’m discouraged about my sphere of influence though it might be greater in a tighter arena. Most of the things I worried about this year didn’t happen. I still live in a spectacular home even though it is rented. And that is something to thank God for in this world of foreclosures.

I hope that I appreciate what others do for me, more than I have in the past. That success truly does have many fathers. “It’s a Wonderful Life” continues to remind me that friends are where the real wealth is. And the strength of family should not be discounted. And it all comes as a result of sacrificial giving first and placing the needs of others above our own is the only true way to survive.

I’m old enough to dream dreams that I might not realize but young enough to crave a vision for what I still might do that is a contribution to sanity in this life.

Disaster’s have a way of clearing a path for a new way of seeing the world. Hardship really is the pathway to peace. Thank God for a little more time: A new year with a new agenda is on the horizon. Seize the moment.

I had a miraculous intervention this month in last minute gigs that made the difference in the outcome of Christmas for my family. I sang through the flu to make it happen. And God showed me the real celebration of Christmas. It’s the beginning of “Divine Intervention”.

“God often speaks to us directly through the circumstances we are in” I told the Jubalee crowd on sunday morning. “Sometimes God’s direction is seen as more of an inconvenience” at least in the way I react.

But in my ‘affirmities’ I felt a connection to all who are facing a different kind of Christmas this year. It seems everyone is facing a tighter budget and leaner times. But hardship has a way of sharpening our focus that I believe is unopposed by God himself. It is something of an unwanted opportunity for personal and spiritual growth.

And I opened my presentation with “what a wonderful world”! God has a plan. and we miss it because of the obstacles often. “I think to myself” has to come first in this song. It has to. I can see a wonderful world with a deeper thought process.

In the Serenity Prayer it adds, “accepting hardship as a pathway to peace” . Peace is easier sung about than posessed. Even on the advent of celebrating the birth of the Prince of Peace. I’d rather have it than sing about it for that matter.

And as I “Came home for Christmas ” this week I had that along with a wonderful gratitude for home and family and the satisfaction of making ends meet (with a little help from God’s friends and himself)
Merry Christmas to all I say… make the best of your circumstances and look for the gifts in the hardships. they are there… ‘wrapped beneath our tree’.

Saturday I had a blessed little biker blessing event to sing at. Sponsored by my own Black Sheep chapter. It was a bike blessing and they served a Biscuits  and Gravy breakfast. I was drinking the cravy from a bowl after my presentation. It was that good.

I got the idea to bring my bike hauler and use it for a little stage. It was a perfect set up for a parking lot concert. My friend Derek Hughes set up a tight little p.a. system to and I parked a sweet Harley in front of the stage for effect.

Bikers are a flighty lot and I expected em to be rolling out quickly but as I played my most uptempo material, and added three Christmas blues tunes they mostly hung around til the very end.

I sold more NehoSoul Christmas CD’s than HOGWASH books which was a surprise.

What can I say this gig was all gravy for this old biscuit. I left thinking about bringin my own stage set up all the time and just playin in parking lots. At least there’s no line at the door!.

Sunday Morning I played the tiniest little church in Montclair “Church In The Oaks”. Inside was the most intimate of church settings. Felt like a glorified attic! with carpet and vaulted ceiling. It was remarkably comfortable. So sound proof that they needed little in the way of P.A.

This was a “partnering with pastors” service. Done in a conversation with the local pastor. It went so well conversationally that I only played five songs.

There has been a flow in my “content” on stage as a direct result of personal hardship that I can only attribute it to Divine design. The message is built around Psalm 119:71 “the sufferings you sent, were good for me”… I had a new story example for every song this morning. I included my feelings about my son leaving a Christmas card for me last year. and when I sang: “I would like to say.. just before I leave you”…. from “I love you with my life”. there were tears all around.

The moment was so powerful that I had to end with this song and let that moment linger. The whole message was about seeing difficult people as the ‘God sends’ that they are. Because usually its the same people close to you that bring you joy if you persevere.

I was done by noon. Driving home I thought about the things I’ve tried to make happen vs the things God surprised me with. and I can see that He is plowing a different field with me. One I have continually overlooked in my search for something “bigger”.

We’d cleaned up all the discarded wrapping and were wrapping up the evening. Devin was the last to leave. We walked him out to his car and said our goodbyes. When my wife and I came back in, I noticed an envelope lying on the floor beside the tree. Thinking I’d missed some trash I was headed to the waste paper basket when I realized it had been unopened.

There was no name on it. Inside it simply read: TO: Dad, Thanks for being so awesome. you’re such a talented person and I’m proud to say I’m your son. Sorry I didn’t have any real presents this year, …I may pick you up stuff once I get covered! I love you and thanks for everything.

He went on to write personal letters to my wife and her daughters pointing out simple thoughts and feelings about each of them. But he didn’t want to be there when we opened it probably thinking it would be dismissed as a “nice” gesture.

I wasn’t prepared for the wave of emotion that swept over me in that moment. Suddenly everything about Christmas changed. I never thought I could have such strong feelings for my kids and the gift they are all by themselves. Especially when they suddenly shine through the heart like that. It was just pure sincerity that topped all the gifts I don’t remember now.

Just words! ? unpoetical, nothing clever or humorous even…. just heart felt! And I have never seen him the same since. This Christmas I think I’ll just share my heartfelt words too. You can’t put a price on what sticks in your heart.

But in the last six years I’ve met each of the band members in other situations. Tim Gaines even playin with the NehoSoul Band. Oz Fox lives in So. Cal. and Michael Sweet shared the stage with me as a presenter at the Dove Awards a few years ago. Robert has given me an in-depth conversation about the “art of visual time keeping”.

Last night there were no pot bellied, balding Rock Stars on stage though. It was like a new and improved version of Stryper. They came off strong, energetic and delivered a blistering set of their highlight metal meyhem, including an accurate cover of “Peace of Mind” by Boston.
The twin guitar leads we’re unbelievably precise. I knew that Oz Fox could play but Michael Sweet too had fantastic musical delivery. Together they were two hammers on a white hot blade. And I begin to realize that these guys we’re reveling in what they were born to do. They were cooking with no cobwebs in the kitchen!

I sat there thinking “these guys are gonna do this for 16 weeks on the road..nearing their 50′S !!!??? I was proud to know em all. And to have been a contemporary in Christian Music too, twenty five years ago.