Money is cited to be one of the leading cause for divorce. According to a study done by Prof. Jeffrey Dew at Utah State University, couples who reported disagreeing about finance once a week were over 30 percent more likely to get divorced than couples who reported disagreeing about finances a few times a month.

When we got married, money was a touchy subject. When we were not saving anything, both of us thought the other person was in the wrong. After having more than a few disagreements, we decided to take control of our money instead of the other way around.

It took us a few years to completely stop arguing about money. This is what worked for us

Set common goals to work towards

Nothing worked better than setting up our financial goals. Initially we were saving whatever was left over at the end of the month. Most months that turned out to be nothing. When I blamed my husband for buying some hobby stuff that could have gone to savings, he couldn’t understand what the big deal was. If we didn’t save this month we will save the next right? And I would persuade him to eat out 3-4 times a week, then complain we didn’t have any money. Only after we set clear goals and automated our finances using targeted savings accounts for each goal, did we became aware of our entire financial picture. It was easy for us to decide between eating out now or a vacation to Hawaii in 3 months as opposed to the prior decision used to be eating out or some-random-extra-cash-at-the-end-of-the-month.  Clearly a much poorer incentive not to eat out .

Develop a spending plan that works for both

After we set up goals, we set up a budget and failed miserably. It took us a few tries to come up with our current spending plan that allows some cushion for stuff we both love. I still buy my favorite frappucino but I know my limit. He can buy his hobby stuff as long as it is within his fun money allowance.

Establish limits

We also have a limit of $50 above which every purchase has to be talked over. If it is important and can wait, we start a new goal to fund the purchase. If it cannot wait, we know exactly where we are taking the money from and it gives us an extra layer of thinking-it-through time.

Have financial dates

Every month we go over our spending, net worth and discuss any important financial decisions we will be taking that month, like selling some stock or deciding where to go on our next vacation and how to save for it. Initially when we were still arguing about money, these were not fun, but now I look forward to these, because it has moved away from arguments to exciting discussions about our future.

Hold each other accountable, point out mistakes but don’t judge

My husband finds it a lot easier to shut off his spending. He doesn’t need much. So it was much much easier for him to control his spending than it was for me. He is also my best friend, so by talking about my frustrations we were able to come up with better alternatives that didn’t require me to be a cheap stake but stopped me from being a spendthrift.

Be honest with each other

I don’t think this needs any explanation.

If both partners are working towards the same goals, communicate and be honest with each other, everything else will become just a technicality.

What do you do to keep from fighting over your finances? How do you and your significant other work on your financial front?

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Travel is a passion of mine only kept under wraps by budget constraints.  I like to think I know how stretch those dollars on cruising, airfare, hotels and more.

It’s worked out well for us over the years and we never pay full price.   The hotel I prebooked for our holiday travels seemed like a deal too.  Until it wasn’t.

Award Programs

Because of frequent travel for work and pleasure I belong to lots of travel award programs for the many airlines, hotel and rental car agencies used. The points add up to a couple of free flights and hotel nights a year.

Two nights of our holiday travel this past Christmas were booked with Marriott points.  I was feeling pretty savvy until I checked in.

Unexpected Cost

Before I get to the unexpected cost, let me share why we drove.  My husband wanted to take Charger, our spoiled basset, with us instead of having him spend the holidays being boarded.

Most hotels charge a fee for pets due to extra cleaning that may be needed.  I forgot about the fee when making the reservation and made an assumption it would be $15-$25.

Upon check-in I learned the hotel charged the pet fee per stay instead of night and it was a whopping $100.  Suddenly my free hotel room wasn’t such a good deal!

In fact, the hotel across the street advertised rooms for $20 less plus pets stay free.  Since I was going to lose my points whether we stayed or not, we paid the fee.

Lesson Learned

We had two more hotel stays during the trip and the first question I asked after getting a price quote was about the pet fee.  It’s important to consider all costs and fees when making travel arrangements.  They can add up to make the “good deal” a bad choice.

After getting burned, I will be extra vigilant about fees, at least in the near future.

Last year I lost money buying airline tickets before getting vacation time approved and then having to cancel the trip.  I wonder if I’ll ever stop making costly travel mistakes.    Have you made a costly travel decision?

 photo by Sarah_Ackerman

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We’re having SUPER weather in San Diego that would make it the perfect host city for the event that’s going on in Indianapolis today.   Sunny warm weather, 55,000 hotel rooms and thousands of restaurants and the NFL won’t give us the time of day.

Why?  Because we have a 45 year old stadium.  I’m hoping we can get a new venue without costing the taxpayers and be hosting the bowl in a few years.

Recommended Reading

I have a new team of fellow Yakezie members and challengers and am highlighting my favorite articles from the group this week.

 The Debt Myth shares the importance of looking at the overall picture occasionally.

If you’ve already slacked off your 2012 resolutions and goals use these tips from Money Q and A to get back on track.

One Cent at a Time discusses ways to calculate how much to save for retirement.  Are you saving enough or too much?

Learn about researching stocks from Thirty Six Months.

Smart Money Hacks reveals that not everyone needs to file a tax return. Are you one that doesn’t?

Learn how to get a refund without losing your dignity at The Frugal Toad.

Newlyweds on a Budget discusses balancing saving money with traveling.

Jai Catalano Photography shows us that most pictures we see are an illusion with a great photoshop example.

Carnivals and Round-ups

Giveaways

I’ll be posting another declutter giveaway later today so come back, but to get you started enter these giveaways hosted by personal finance bloggers.

Little House in the Valley is hosting a Ghirardelli chocolate giveaway. Entries are open until February 10th.

Prizes include the Rich Dad board game and a $25 Amazon gift card at Family Money Values’ giveaway.  Enter by February 12th.

Budgeting in the Fun Stuff also has a Ghirardelli chocolate review  and give away.  Leave your comment by February 12th.

All high heel lovers, enter the memory foam cushion pads giveaway at Well Heeled Blog.  Entries close February 9th.

Super Frugalette is giving away a $50 Starbucks gift card!  Enter no later than February 14th.

Help Tight Fisted Miser celebrate the blog’s fifth birthday by entering the giveway for a whole bunch of personal finance books and a $5 Amazon gift card. Enter by Wednesday.

Enter to win a $25 Amazon gift card at Master the Art of Saving by February 29th! (Not often we type that date.)

Couple Money is giving away two copies of TurboTax Deluxe Online to help you file taxes.  Enter by February 9th.

Enter to win the cold and flu package at Surviving and Thriving by tomorrow night.  It’s good to be prepared!

Frugal Beautiful is giving away The Lovely Box (makeup) to five winners!  Enter by February 9th.

You get another chance to win Ghirardelli chocolate at The Family CEO.  This one ends February 1oth.

Financial Success for Young Adults is celebrating a blogiversary with $150 in gift cards.  Enter by February 11th.

Enter to win a $25 Amazon Giftcard Giveaway at Retire by 40.  You have until February 19th to get entered.

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Thanks for all the entries last week for the Tempur-Pedic travel pillow.  I will announce the winner as soon as I have confirmation.  Continuing on with the decluttering of blog conference swag, this week is a trifecta of skin care products.

Skin Care Package Giveaway

I’m sure my skin would appreciate these products, but I’m not supposed to use anti-aging products due to a skin condition.    So it’s time to give them to a good home where they’ll be used!  This week’s giveaway is a three product skin care package.

Item 1: Olay ReGenerist wrinkle revolution complex.  This moisturizer is supposed to diminish wrinkle appearance.  Sounds good!

Item 2: Prescriptives Vibrant-C Skin Brightening Eye Cream. Who doesn’t want brighter eyes?  It also fights wrinkles.

Item 3: Olay Professional ProX Intensive Refining Sulfur Mask.  Use this twice weekly for acne.  It absorbs oil and reduces overall shine.

If you would like these products, just use the rafflecopter form below. Sorry to my foreign friends, but shipping is limited to US mailing addresses. One random entry will be drawn and entries close Friday at midnight Eastern.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

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While visiting my mom during the holidays she shared a story about a winter road trip where she barely made it to her grandmother’s funeral.  I questioned why she drove instead of flying.  She replied “it was too expensive then”.

Her response really made me think.  What do I take for granted in my daily life that was prohibitively expensive a short time ago?  I came up with this list.

Eating Out

Growing up we went to restaurants infrequently.  My parents did indulge their kids in fast food, but not more often than once a month. The lack of dining out wasn’t because my working mom wouldn’t have liked to have a night off in the kitchen.

It was too expensive to take out a family of six frequently.  I think there is a wider range of restaurant price points today plus more opportunities to save with coupons, daily deal sites and promotions.  Plus most families are smaller today which lowers the costs for many budget categories (food, clothing, medical, etc.).

Making Long Distance Calls

Although many blame the demise of letter-writing on email, cheaper long distance rates are also responsible.  Twenty years ago if we wanted to communicate with anyone out of the local calling, it meant writing a letter or sending a post card.

Even as a young mother, I went weeks in between calls home due to the high cost. Now, there’s no limit to the amount of time I can chat with family long distance – as long as we use the same cell phone carrier.

Cruise Vacations

I didn’t know anyone who had been on a cruise until my 30’s.  Until then it was a vacation for the retired or rich.  Or at least that was my perception.

There were far fewer cruise ships making the price higher due to scarcity.  There are dozens of cruise ships and you can easily find a cruise for less than $100 per person per night; sometimes half that!  We spend less on cruises than on land vacations.

Air Travel

Mom is right; air travel used to be more expensive.  Even though fares seem to be increasing right now due to higher fuel costs they are still a bargain.

I remember taking my kids to mom’s for Thanksgiving 20 years ago for $15 more per ticket than the price today.  You know there’s been inflation so effectively it’s much cheaper.

Although prices go up, sometimes the true cost goes down.  What can you afford now that was too expensive previously? 

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Do you currently work in an office as a low-level employee? Do you ever have dreams of rising up the ranks and becoming a Vice President someday? Maybe you have your sites set on the CEO. Whatever the case may be, if you’d like to rise to the top in a hurry, here’s some valuable tips that I have learned along the way.

1) If You’re New, Don’t Try to Change Their Process in Your First Week

There are quite a few young professionals that think they’re going to move to the top of the company within 4 years, so right out of the gate they begin to question the process and make an effort to change the system that has been in place for over 20 years.

It’s good to be young and ambitious, but it’s not okay to challenge the operation of the entire company in your first week. Unless you are instructed to evaluate their process and give your input, just make an effort to learn your position  in the first 6 months. Once you have your duties down-pat, then you can start asking your boss if you could take a deeper look into the process and perhaps give a report of your findings. You’ll be much more respected if you take this route.

2) Offer Your Assistance to Everyone

At my place of employment, I am considered to be extremely knowledgeable in Excel. I often have employees come up to me and ask how the can write a function or fix a problem they’ve been having with the formatting. I honestly don’t care who it is that’s asking me the question – I am going to make sure that I answer their it to the best of my abilities. First of all, I do this because it’s for the ultimate good of the company; second, there’s nothing wrong with being labeled the office “Excel Guru”; and third, I really am just a genuinely good guy that likes to help (hopefully you are too).

People talk, and the more good they have to say about you the better. If you are promoted in the future, it’s best to have people agree with the change (because you’re an all-around great employee) rather than grumble about it because you’ve made their life at the office a living hell.

3) Seek Out a Mentor

If you are currently employed as a Financial Analyst, but you’d really like to be the Director of Merchandising someday, then seek out a mentor in merchandising (preferably at the Director level or higher). Let them know that you’re interested in what they do, and that you aspire to work in their field someday.

Mentorship doesn’t have to be difficult. Set up a meeting once a month and let them know what your future goals are and why. Generally, people love to help, and an extra 30 minutes a month really doesn’t amount to much for them, but for you, it could mean a few more rungs in that ladder!

4) Work Yourself Out of the Job

Most people spend all of their time trying to make themselves irreplaceable. They refuse to make work instructions for their job, and they often boast that no one else knows how to do what they do. These people are going nowhere in life. What you want to do is work yourself out of a job.

I know, it sounds counter-intuitive doesn’t it. I mean, if you work yourself out of a job, then you have no job anymore right? Wrong. If you spend your time to stream-line the process and make it so efficient that you’re no longer needed, you won’t be thrown to the curb, you’ll be embraced and rewarded with a new position. Anyone that can save the company money and can increase efficiency will be kept around for a long time.

Have you instituted any of these tips? What additional tips would you give for those that wish to move up in the company?

photo by degreezero2000

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A constant complaint in Southern California is that there isn’t a good public transportation system.  It’s not that we don’t have public transportation.  There are buses, trains and trolleys.  It’s clean, timely and affordable, but there  just isn’t enough.

Not enough routes and not frequent enough.

Challenges

Density. There’s a good reason for the lack of coverage in Southern California.  According to Wikipedia, Los Angeles has a population density of 8,092 people per square mile as compared to New York City’s 26,402 people in the same area.  The city of San Diego is less than half the density of Los Angeles with 3,515 people per square mile.

Those are just the facts the transportation companies have to deal with.  It’s hard to pay for an expensive public transportation system when the number of people that would benefit and use it is so low.

Access.  I live in  a part of the county that does not have a train or trolley serving the area.  To take a bus downtown, only 25 miles away, would take 90 minutes.  Of course to get to the bus I would need to drive or walk two miles to the transit center.  I can drive there and back in the same time! Depending on where I was going, I would need to transfer to another train or trolley.

When we lived on the coast we would take the train downtown and enjoyed the scenic ride very much.  It was there in about the same time or better than driving. We did have to drive 5 miles to get to the station.

Behavior.  I don’t know if people can be convinced to give up their cars and take public transportation.  Even when gas was over $4 a gallon last year I didn’t see many carpools.  It would take a significant amount of pain for people to made the switch to buses and trains.

Summary

Most Southern Californians would be sacrificing too much time to use public transportation regularly.  We envy our fellow Californians in San Francisco who have BART and dream of the day we too can catch a convenient train to work.  Until then, see you on the freeway!

Do you have access to good public transportation?

photo by: prayitno

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There are two major sporting events today.  The men’s final at the Australian Open (tennis)and the Pro Bowl (football).  One was epic and  broke a record for the longest grand slam singles final.  We watched it in awe and amazement while downing coffee and croissants.

This afternoon, it’ll be time for the NFL Pro Bowl where you won’t see great play, but millions of us will watch anyway. It’s football!

Recommended Reading

Len Penzo Dot Com shares 10 More Old Wives’ Tales Masquerading as Financial Rules of Thumb.  How many of these do you believe?

What My Son Taught Me About Life is a tear jerker by So Over Debt.

Consumerism Commentary also hit my emotions with The Lonesome, Pet-Free Life.

Congratulations to Fat Guy, Skinny Wallet  who has Lots Of Energy, More Loose Clothing, And My Week 10 Weigh In and is 25 lbs lighter!

Budgeting in the Fun Stuff was Hanging with Blogging Buddies last week and it was a fun time!  She makes a mean grilled cheese sandwich.

Carnivals & Round-ups

Giveaways

Don’t miss out on my giveaway for a Tempur-Pedic travel pillow.  You’ll be helping me declutter.  Really.

You have More than You Think is giving away a $50 Amazon Gift Card with amazingly simple entry.  Enter by midnight Tuesday.

You can win an early invite to ImpluseSave at The Jenny Pincher.  Enter by February 10th.

NetWorthProtect has $30 cash for one lucky winner.  This one ends Super Bowl Sunday.

Could you use a $100 Lowe’s Gift Card?  Enter at The Centsible Life by February 1st.

Frugal Beautiful is giving away a $25 credit for a pet food delivery service.  Enter no later than February 2nd.

Do you need to do some personal finance reading?  Well The Amateur Financier has a box of 10 books for one winner.  Enter by January 31st.

20′s Finance is giving away two Amazon gift cards totally $75.  Enter by February 22nd.

Photo by soham_pablo

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Remember that declutter challenge I told you about recently. I have a lot of great items I received at BlogHer just taking up closet space. I’ve decided to start giving away one item a week here at Bucksome Boomer until i run out! Believe me that will take a while.

It’s a win-win. I get closet space and add to my decluttering total and each week’s winner gets a quality product for free!  Let’s start off with something from one of my favorite brands, Tempur-Pedic.

Tempur-Pedic Travel Pillow Giveaway

Let me make this clear, I’m only giving this one away because I already have another one I’ve been using. This all-purpose travel pillow is still in the original reusable carry case.

The unique shape means you can use as a neck roll, lumbar cushion leg spacer and more. The cover is removable and washable and it has a convenient carrying strap. Of course, the pillow is made with the proprietary pressure-relieving material, TEMPUR, that’s in my great mattress!

If you would like this, just use the rafflecopter form below. Sorry to my foreign friends, but shipping is limited to US mailing addresses. One random entry will be drawn and entries close Friday at midnight Eastern.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

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Using the medical flexible spending account (FSA) is one way we stretch our budget every year.  Each December, I carefully consider the expenses we will  have (prescriptions, doctor visits, dental cleanings, etc.) and then add some extra for unknown.

It’s a tightrope balance between selecting too much and risk losing the money or not enough.  This year I fell off the tightrope already!

An Unplanned Expense

During my quarterly cleaning appointment earlier this month, my dentist decided to call in a specialist for one troublesome area.  He sent me to a periodontist for help with a problem around one tooth which is a dental implant.

Next week I’ll be having  gum surgery including getting a bone graft. The cost is large; I could have gotten dentures three times over for the money that has been spent on this one tooth over the years for a root canal, crown, implant, new crown and now this surgery.

My goal is to keep my teeth throughout my lifetime so this procedure was the only option.

Insurance Fortune

If I had known about the surgery last month, I would have allotted the maximum amount for my FSA.  Instead, it’ll be gone next week and I’ll be paying all other out of pocket medical expenses with after tax dollars.

But there is one bright spot.  My dental plan pays $1,500 in benefits per year which this will use completely. That’s not the good part.

The good news is that this year my employer is changing insurance carriers February 1st so I get another $1,500 for the year.

Emergency Funds Work

The remaining several hundred dollar balance after FSA and insurance will come out of our emergency fund.  You know that account with money in it just waiting for life to throw a wrench in your plans.

If you don’t have one of those accounts, before you start sending every extra penny to pay off debt or buy a new shiny toy start saving!  You really need at least three months income set aside at a minimum.

We can’t control every expense or plan for every problem in life.  What we can do is be ready for it!

Do you have an emergency fund?  When have you needed to use it?

photo by: Old Sarge

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