I saw a quote on Brian Tracy’s website the other day.  “Self-esteem is like a difficult-to-cultivate flower. It requires frequent nurturing that occurs when you keep your word and follow through on your promises.”

I like this idea.  It marries up two of the topics I preach to my career success coaching clients: self-confidence and relationship building.

Tweet 132 in my career advice book Success Tweets says, “Trust is the glue that holds relationships together.  The more you demonstrate trust in others, the more they will trust you.”

A strong network of colleagues and friends can book your self-confidence.  And in my opinion, building the relationships that will help you create a strong network comes down to two words: trust and abundance.

When you trust others you are willing to put yourself out there – to give with no expectation of return, to act in a non quid pro quo manner.  A while back, I did a blog post in which I mentioned a chapter I wrote in 42 Rules for Creating WE called, “There is no quid pro in WE”.  In that post, I pointed out that while there is nothing wrong with returning the favor when someone does you a good turn, waiting for others to help you is not a good idea when it comes to building relationships.  Successful people are willing to put themselves out there – to pay it forward.

Paying it forward takes trust, but it is great career advice.  Trust yourself to do for others with no guarantee of return.  Trust that others won’t take advantage of you.  Trust in the universe in that the good you put out will come back to you in unexpected ways.  Trust is the glue that holds relationships together.  The more you demonstrate trust in others, the more they will trust you.

Abundance is also important in building relationships.  People who come from an abundance mentality see life as a non-zero sum game; a perspective that holds that we can all be winners in the game of life.  They realize that there is enough for all of us – enough money, recognition, success, the things that people who come from a scarcity mentality see as in short supply.  People who come from a scarcity mentality see life as a zero sum game; if you win, I have to lose and vice versa.  Self-confident people are trusting and abundant.

I choose trust and abundance because I have seen them work in the real world – and I find that I am happier with myself when I am trusting and come from a place of abundance.  What do you choose – trust abundance and self-confidence, or mistrust scarcity and low self-esteem?  The choice you make can have a huge impact on your ability to build relationships and create the life and career success you want and deserve.

The common sense career success coach point here is simple.  Successful people are self-confident and good at building strong, mutually beneficial relationships with the important people in their lives.  They follow the career advice in Tweet 132 in Success Tweets.  “Trust is the glue that holds relationships together.  The more you demonstrate trust in others, the more they will trust you.”  A trusting attitude and abundance mentality are the best way to build relationships.  When you trust yourself, others and the universe, you will approach life from an abundance mentality.  You’ll be willing to give of yourself with no expectation of direct return.  This world view will make it easier for you to build and maintain the relationships that will help you create the successful life and career you want and deserve.

That’s my career advice on self-confidence and relationships. What do you think?  Please take a minute to share your thoughts with us in a comment.  As always, thanks for taking the time to read my daily musings on life and career success.  I value you and I appreciate you.

Bud

PS: If you haven’t already done so, I suggest that you check out my career advice book Success Tweets and its companion piece Success Tweets Explained.  The first gives you 140 bits of career success advice tweet style — in 140 characters or less.  The second is a whopping 390 + pages of career advice explaining each of the common sense tweets in Success Tweets in detail.  Go to http://budurl.com/STExp to claim your free copy.  You’ll also start receiving my daily life and career success quotes.

PPS: Have you seen my membership site, My Corporate Climb?  It’s devoted to helping people just like you create career success inside large corporations.  You can find out about it by going to http://www.mycorporateclimb.

 

The other day one of my career success coaching clients asked me a question about how to resolve conflict without always giving in.  That was a great question.  No matter how interpersonally competent, or how easy-going you are, you will inevitably find yourself in conflict.  It’s only human.  People will not always agree with you, and you will not always agree with others.

Tweet 133 in my career advice book Success Tweets says, “Resolve conflict positively.  Treat conflict as an opportunity to strengthen, not destroy, the relationships you’ve worked hard to build.”

There are no two ways about it.  Successful people resolve conflict in a positive manner.

I know a little bit about conflict resolution.  It was the topic of my dissertation at Harvard.  Way back in the 1970’s, Ken Thomas and Ralph Kilmann developed an instrument to measure a person’s tendencies when in a conflict situation.

They came up with five predominant conflict styles: Competing, Collaborating, Compromising, Accommodating and Avoiding.  Their research suggests that all five are appropriate depending on the situation.

As a career success coach however, I have found that the Collaborating style is the best default mode.  When you collaborate with others to resolve conflict, you focus on meeting both your needs and the needs of the other person.  I like this style because it helps you bring together a variety of viewpoints to get the best solution.

When you collaborate, neither person is likely to feel as if he or she won or lost.  Also, collaborating with the person or persons with whom you are in conflict creates the opportunity for you to work together to build a solution that best addresses everyone’s concerns.  It’s a win-win.

When I work collaboratively with someone, I focus on our similarities, not our differences.  This creates a bond that not only helps us get through our conflict, but helps us strengthen our relationship, and strong relationships lead to career success.

As I mentioned in the paragraph above, my favorite method for dealing with conflict is counter-intuitive.  By definition, conflict is a state of disagreement.  When I’m in conflict with someone, however, instead of focusing on where we disagree, I focus on where we agree.

This is a great way to not only resolve conflict positively, it helps strengthen relationships.  And, as we all know, conflict often leads to a deterioration of relationships.  So to me this approach is a no-brainer.  First, you get to resolve conflict positively.  Second, you strengthen your relationships.  Third, you improve your chances of becoming a life and career success.

I look for any small point of agreement and then try to build on it.  I find that it is easier to reach a larger agreement when I build from a point of small agreement, rather than attempting to tear down the other person’s points with which I don’t agree.

Most people don’t do this.  They get caught up in proving their point.  They hold on to it more strongly when someone else attacks it.  If you turn around the discussion and say, “Let’s focus where we agree, and see if we can build something from there,” you are making the situation less personal.  Now the two of you are working together to figure out a mutually agreeable solution to your disagreement.  You’re not tearing down one another’s arguments just to get your way.  Try this.  It works.

When you come together with the people with whom you are in conflict by identifying some small point on which you agree, you are putting yourself in the position to begin building a resolution to the conflict – one that is likely better than either side’s opening position.  And, by working together, you’ll be strengthening your relationship.  This will facilitate even more effective conflict resolution down the road.  Look for common ground.  When you find it, build on it.  You’ll find that this is a great way to resolve conflict in a manner that enhances, not destroys relationships.

On the matter of not giving in — my best career advice is to be assertive, not aggressive in resolving conflict.  Here’s a true story.  Frontier flight 862, Denver to Phoenix.  I get on late because I’m on standby for an earlier flight.  I have a middle seat, 14B.  When I arrive at row 14, there are women sitting in seats A and C.  I say hello, stow my bags, and get into my seat.

The woman in 14A smiles at me, looks at the book I have in my hand, and says, “That looks like an interesting book.”  I’m reading Laura Lowell’s book, 42 rules of Marketing.  We chat a minute about the book and then lapse into some general conversation.

Her name is Cheryl Munsey, and as it turns out, Cheryl and I know a few people in common.  And she’s very personable.  We chat the whole time the plane is taxiing and through take-off.

As soon as the plane is in the air, the woman in 14C rings the flight attendant call button.  The flight attendant comes on the loudspeaker and says, “We are still in our ascent.  Will the person who rang his or her call button turn it off until we reach our cruising altitude?  Leave it on only if it’s a real emergency.”

14C leaves the light on.  I’m worried that she might be ill.  The flight attendant struggles down the aisle.  When she arrives at our row, 14C says, “I need a pair of headphones.  These people are talking too much and driving me crazy.”  As she is saying this, she is removing ear plugs.

I feel bad.  I tend to speak softly in crowded, enclosed places like airplanes and was surprised that our conversation was annoying her – especially when she was wearing ear plugs.  I say to 14C, “I apologize if we were annoying you.  I didn’t realize we were speaking so loudly.”  She says, “I was trying to sleep,” and puts on the headphones that she got from the flight attendant.

Not a minute later, she rings the call button again.  When the flight attendant comes back, she says, “I need another pair.  These earphones aren’t drowning out these people.”  I thought this was kind of peculiar, as Cheryl and I were stunned by what happened and really hadn’t said anything since her original comment that we were speaking too loudly.

All of this should just go into one of those irritating, bizarre moments in life files and be forgotten.  However, it makes a point about assertiveness and life and career success.

The woman in 14C never told Cheryl and me that we were disturbing her sleep.  Instead, she chose to complain to the flight attendant about our conversation.  It came across to both Cheryl and me as a pretty aggressive and hostile gesture.  We both wondered why she just didn’t ask us to speak more softly.  That’s what an interpersonally competent person would have done.  That’s what someone who was taking responsibility for herself and her needs would have done.  That’s what an assertive person would have done.

Assertive people stand up for their rights, but do it in such a way as not to offend other people.  Passive people let others trample on them and don’t stand up for their rights.  Aggressive people get what they want, but at the expense of others.  In this case, 14C was being aggressive.

There are three common sense career success coach points here: 1) When you are on conflict with someone, take a counter intuitive approach.  Try to find some point of agreement that you have with the other person.  Use that point of agreement to collaboratively build a solution that resolves your conflict.  2) Take responsibility for yourself.  Tell people how you feel.  Don’t let others do things that make your life unpleasant.  3) Stand up for yourself in an assertive, non-aggressive way.  Follow the career advice in Tweet 133 in Success Tweets.  “Resolve conflict positively.  Treat conflict as an opportunity to strengthen, not destroy, the relationships you’ve worked hard to build.”  Conflict can destroy relationships – and it can strengthen them.  When you find yourself in conflict with another person, choose to see it as an opportunity to strengthen your relationship with them.  The career advice here is simple.  Resolve conflict by acting in a positive, proactive and assertive manner.

That’s my career advice on how to resolve conflict.  What do you think?  Please take a minute to share your thoughts with us in a comment.  As always, thanks for reading my daily thoughts on life and career success.  I value you and I appreciate you.

Bud

PS: If you haven’t already done so, I suggest that you check out my career advice book Success Tweets and its companion piece Success Tweets Explained.  The first gives you 140 bits of career success advice tweet style — in 140 characters or less.  The second is a whopping 390 + pages of career advice explaining each of the common sense tweets in Success Tweets in detail.  Go to http://budurl.com/STExp to claim your free copy.  You’ll also start receiving my daily life and career success quotes.

PPS: Have you seen my membership site, My Corporate Climb?  It’s devoted to helping people just like you create career success inside large corporations.  You can find out about it by going to http://www.mycorporateclimb.

Penelope Trunk writes an interesting blog.  I don’t always agree with what she has to say, but I almost always take the time to read her writing.  In a recent blog post called “The Age of Personal Responsibility” she says…

“You are responsible for your career.  Make sure you take care of your own career development. You have to keep your learning curve high. If people don’t like you, it’s probably your fault. If you have a bad boss, it’s probably your fault.

“What I have found in my own career, and in the careers of people I coach, is that the more responsibility you take, the more you can affect change. If you blame outside forces for your problems, you have to wait for outside forces to fix things for you; which means you have given up control over your own life.  The Age of Personal Responsibility is exciting. Because the more responsibility we take, the more control we have over our own happiness.”

I agree with Penelope on this one.   What she says is not only true, it’s some of the most important career success advice you’ll ever get.  Tweet 21 in my career advice book Success Tweets says, “You’re in charge! Commit to taking personal responsibility for creating the life and career success you want and deserve.”

You demonstrate your commitment to your career success – to yourself and to the world – by doing three things.  First, take personal responsibility for your career success.  Only you can make you a career success.  You must be willing to do the things necessary to succeed.  Second, set high goals – and then do whatever it takes to achieve them.  Third, stuff happens; as you go through life you will encounter many problems and setbacks.  You need to react positively to the negative stuff and move forward toward your goals, dreams and career success.

George Bernard Shaw, my favorite playwright makes an interesting point about personal responsibility…

“I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work the more I live.  I rejoice in life for its own sake.  Life is no ‘brief candle’ for me.  It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.”

I know that I want my life to be a splendid torch that burns long and brightly.  That’s why I agree with Penelope when she says we must choose to commit to take personal responsibility for our life and career success.  Reveling in hard work is the best way to take personal responsibility for your career success.

The common sense career success coach point here is simple.  Successful people commit to taking personal responsibility for creating the successful life and career they want and deserve.  They set high goals – and do whatever it takes to accomplish them.  They react positively to the people and events in their lives – especially the negative people and events.  They relish the days when they have a lot to do, and then go on and do it.  They get great satisfaction from working hard and seeing the results of their labor.  When was the last day when you were truly busy?  How did you feel at the end of it?  If you’re an achiever – someone who is committed to your life and career success – I bet you felt exhilarated and ready to go the next day.

That’s the career advice I found in Penelope Trunk’s thoughts on personal responsibility.  What do you think?  Please take a minute to share your thoughts with us in a comment.  As always, thanks for reading my daily musings on life and career success.  I value you and I appreciate you.

Bud

PS: If you haven’t already done so, I suggest that you check out my career advice book Success Tweets and its companion piece Success Tweets Explained.  The first gives you 140 bits of career success advice tweet style — in 140 characters or less.  The second is a whopping 390 + pages of career advice explaining each of the common sense tweets in Success Tweets in detail.  Go to http://budurl.com/STExp to claim your free copy.  You’ll also start receiving my daily life and career success quotes.

PPS: Have you seen my membership site, My Corporate Climb?  It’s devoted to helping people just like you create career success inside large corporations.  You can find out about it by going to http://www.mycorporateclimb.

Kevin Eikenberry is a friend of mine.  He is one of the finest leadership coaches I know.  If you aspire to be a leader, you should subscribe to his blog, Leadership and Learning.  You can find it at http://blog.kevineikenberry.com/blogroll/

Being from Indiana, Kevin is a big basketball fan.  Last Friday, his blog post had some great career success advice from an NBA Hall of Famer.  I liked the post and asked Kevin if he would permit me to repost it here.  Being the great guy he is, Kevin said yes.  Check it out.  I know you’ll enjoy it…

In the middle of the NBA playoffs, I found a great quotation from one of the greatest NBA players of all time. He’s talking about basketball players, but he is really talking to all of us.

Read it for yourself. Read it as a leader. Read it as a parent. Read it as a citizen. Go ahead, it’s only two sentences long.

“It’s hard for young players to see the big picture. They just see three or four years down the road.” – Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Hall of Fame basketball player

Questions to Ponder

• How far ahead do I see?

• In what part of life does this quotation have the most meaning for me?

• How can I see a bigger picture?

Action Steps

1. Take time today to get out of your mental routine.

2. Think about the future – further out than you usually do – and then focus back to today, making sure that your current actions will get you to the future you desire.

3. Ask someone you trust to help you see the bigger picture of the future too. Their perspective can be useful for you. 4. If appropriate, help others see a better future – one they might not see for themselves.

My Thoughts

It seems useful to think more about the future, because that is where we are heading. Yes, we need to live in the present and choose to be happy and successful now. Yet without the perspective of the future, we won’t make the best choices or guide our present most effectively.

I can envision Jabbar saying these words later in his career; in a caring way. While he was never a coach of a team, he was a leader of his peers. In whichever life role you choose to think about his words, there comes an implied imperative to help others get the bigger picture so they will make better choices and decisions today. As a leader this makes sense, as a parent it makes sense. As an individual, thinking about this makes sense as well.

Spend a little more time thinking in the future today. Help others do the same. It will be time well spent.

The career success coach point here is simple common sense.  Whilewe  work in the short term, we have to keep focused on the long term.  Tweet 11 in my career advice book Success Tweets says, “Create a vivid mental image of yourself as a success.  This vivid image will keep you motivated and moving forward when things get tough.”  That’s what long term thinking is all about.  If you can keep your goal in mind, you can stay focused on achieving it as you go about doing your day to day work.  I decided I wanted to be in business for myself when I was 25.  It took 13 more years for me to start my first business.  But through all of those 13 years, whether I was in graduate school, or working for a company, I always kept that vivid mental image of me as an entrepreneur in the forefront of my mind.  It paid off – mainly because I also heeded the advice in Success Tweet 13: “Your vivid mental image is a blueprint.  It is a plan for career success, but you still have to do the work to make it a reality.”

That’s the career advice I found in Kevin Eikenberry’s thoughts on a quote from Kareem Abdul Jabbar.  What do you think?  Please take a minute to share your thoughts with us in a comment.  And as always, thanks for taking the time to read my daily thoughts on life and career success.  I value you and I appreciate you.

Bud

PS: If you haven’t already done so, I suggest that you check out my career advice book Success Tweets and its companion piece Success Tweets Explained.  The first gives you 140 bits of career success advice tweet style — in 140 characters or less.  The second is a whopping 390 + pages of career advice explaining each of the common sense tweets in Success Tweets in detail.  Go to http://budurl.com/STExp to claim your free copy.  You’ll also start receiving my daily life and career success quotes.

PPS: Have you seen my membership site, My Corporate Climb?  It’s devoted to helping people just like you create career success inside large corporations.  You can find out about it by going to http://www.mycorporateclimb.

I travel a lot.  Most of the posts for this career success blog have been written on a plane or in a hotel room.  Spending a lot of time in hotels, I realize how difficult – not mention physically demanding – the job of a hotel housekeeper is.  Try changing over 20 beds a day, and you’ll see what I mean.

Because I appreciate how hard hotel  housekeepers works, I always tip – just a couple of bucks on the pillow each morning.  The other day I was in Portsmouth NH .  I placed two dollars on the pillow when I left the room in the morning.

When I returned that evening, I found a note on the desk in the room that said, “Dear Guest, Thank you so much for the tip.  Your housekeeper.”

I have been tipping hotel housekeeping personnel for years.  This is the first time I ever received a thank you.  I didn’t expect to be thanked; nor did I think it was necessary – but it was nice all the same.  And that brings me to today’s career success advice.

Tweet 78 in my career advice book Success Tweets says, “Say ‘thank you’ often.  You’ll succeed, build a strong personal brand, and leave a legacy of being a nice person.”

Zach Bussey is a Twitter friend of mine.  He lives in Toronto and I live in Denver.  Isn’t the Internet a great thing?  Zach really understands social media.  You should check out his site.  The other day, Zach and I exchanged a few tweets on the importance of saying thank you.  Here’s one of the tweets Zach sent me…

“The word ‘thanks’ is used less and less.  It’s unfortunate, because it’s the kind of word that can change someone’s day.”

I agree.  A sincere “thank you” always makes my day.  I really appreciate the people who take the time to thank me for these blog posts and my daily success quotes.  My day gets a little brighter every time someone thanks me.

That’s why I end every one of my blog posts with something like, “thanks for reading.”  I really appreciate the time you take to read my blog.  Thanking you is the least I can do to show this appreciation.

A while back, I did a blog post where I featured Jeff Hajek’s book, Whaddya Mean I Gotta Be Lean?  I like this book.  And, as I pointed out in the post, Jeff provides some great career advice in a book that at first glance doesn’t seem to have much to do with career success.

Jeff sent me an email the day after the post ran, thanking me for my favorable comments about his book.  I thought that was great – and for me it was enough.  However, a couple of days later, I received a handwritten note in my snail mail from Jeff.  It read…

Bud,

I appreciate you taking time out of your busy schedule to review Whaddya Mean on your blog.  I am cognizant of the fact that you have gone out of your way to help me, so if there is anything I can ever do to return the favor, please don’t hesitate to ask.

Best wishes,

Jeff

Handwritten notes are not very common these days.  I was touched that Jeff took the time to write one and send it to me.  By sending it, he really strengthened his relationship with me.  The next time he asks for my help, I am very likely to give it to him.  Also, he offered his help to me.  I feel that I can go to him if I need assistance in his area of expertise.  Jeff used a simple technique – a handwritten note – to build his relationship with me.  The housekeeper did the same – she used one of the note pads that the hotel supplies to guests.

Jeff purchased a thank you card for his note to me.  That was great, but I have an even better idea.  I have invested in a set of note cards with my name printed at the top and my return address on the back flap of the envelope.  I suggest that you do the same – you’ll find yourself writing more thank you notes when you have a card handy.

The common sense career success coach point here is simple.  Successful people are interpersonally competent.  Interpersonally competent people are good at building relationships.  Thanking people when they help you is a great way to build relationships.  Follow the career advice in Success Tweet 78.  “Say ‘thank you’ often.  You’ll succeed, build a strong personal brand and build a legacy of being a nice person.”  Besides thanking people in person, handwritten notes are a great way of saying thank you.  Handwritten thank you notes establish you as someone who cares about other people and is willing to go a little out of your way to build relationships – the hallmark of interpersonally competent people.

That’s the career advice that was prompted by a housekeeper’s thank you note for a two dollar tip.  What do you think?  Please take a minute to share your thoughts with us in a comment.  And, as always, thanks for taking the time to read my daily musings on life and career success.  I value you and I appreciate you.

Bud

PS: If you haven’t already done so, I suggest that you check out my career advice book Success Tweets and its companion piece Success Tweets Explained.  The first gives you 140 bits of career success advice tweet style — in 140 characters or less.  The second is a whopping 390 + pages of career advice explaining each of the common sense tweets in Success Tweets in detail.  Go to http://budurl.com/STExp to claim your free copy.  You’ll also start receiving my daily life and career success quotes.

PPS: Have you seen my membership site, My Corporate Climb?  It’s devoted to helping people just like you create career success inside large corporations.  You can find out about it by going to http://www.mycorporateclimb.

As you may know, I have a membership site called My Corporate Climb.  Members get my best thinking on how to climb the corporate ladder.  I know there’s a lot of information on line about how to become an entrepreneur, but there is precious little information on how to succeed in a large corporation.  That’s where My Corporate Climb comes in.  If you’re interested, just go to http://www.MyCorporateClimb.com to take a look at everything that is available to members.

I urge members of My Corporate Climb to keep a journal.  Journaling is a great way to keep your corporate climb moving along steadily and to build your life and career success.  And, the best part is that it doesn’t have to be hard work.  I suggest you write in your journal at least once a week.  At a minimum answer each of the following questions every time you write in your journal.

What did I do since the last time I’ve written in this journal that really moved me toward my corporate career success?  Be specific.  Describe not only what you did, but why you think it moved you closer to your corporate career success.  You’ll want to continue doing this type of activity.

What did I do since the last time I’ve written in this journal that hindered my progression toward my corporate career success?  Be specific.  Describe not only what you did, but why you think it hindered your corporate career success progression.  You’ll want to stop doing this type of activity.

What could I have done since the last time I’ve written in this journal that would have moved me close to my corporate career success if I had done it?  Describe not only what you failed to do, but why failing to do this hindered your corporate career success progression.  You’ll want to start doing this type of activity.

Today is Friday, a good day to begin journaling.  What did you do this week that helped move you toward your life and career success and will continue doing next week?  What did you do this week that hindered your progress toward your career success and will stop doing next week?  What didn’t you do this week that would have helped move you toward your life and career success and will start doing next week?

It’s that simple.  If you answer these three questions every time you write in your journal, you’ll be on your way to creating the corporate career success you want and deserve.  You can label these sections simply – CONTINUE, STOP, START.  Good luck with your journaling.

That’s my career advice on journaling.  What do you think?  Please take a minute to share your thoughts with us in a comment.  As always, thanks for reading my daily musings on life and career success.  I value you and I appreciate you. Bud

PS: If you haven’t already done so, I suggest that you check out my career advice book Success Tweets and its companion piece Success Tweets Explained.  The first gives you 140 bits of career success advice tweet style — in 140 characters or less.  The second is a whopping 390 + pages of career advice explaining each of the common sense tweets in Success Tweets in detail.  Go to http://budurl.com/STExp to claim your free copy.  You’ll also start receiving my daily life and career success quotes.

PPS: Have you seen my membership site, My Corporate Climb?  It’s devoted to helping people just like you create career success inside large corporations.  You can find out about it by going to http://www.mycorporateclimb.

I am an occasional contributor to an ezine called Healthcare Marketing Exchange.  A while back they celebrated 20 years in business.  They asked me to do a short piece called “20 Qualities of Successful People.”  This piece ran a while ago.  I came across it as I was looking through my Word files.  I thought it would be a great post on this career success blog.

20 Qualities of Successful People

1. Perseverance: Never give up.  Most sales take at least six customer contacts.  Many sales people give up after three.

2. Goal orientation: If you don’t know where you’re going, you’ll never get there.  Set mini milestones any you’ll accomplish big goals.

3. Self Awareness: You have to understand yourself before you can understand and influence others.

4. Resilience: Life will throw all sorts of challenges your way. Your ability to bounce back after setbacks and failures is key to creating your success.

5. Willingness to Take a Risk: A boat that never leaves the harbor is pretty safe.  However, it’s not doing what it’s meant to do.

6. Thriving on Pressure:  Pressure turns coal into diamonds.  Welcome pressure to become the best you can be.

7. Optimism: Promise yourself to forget the mistakes of the past on press on to the greater achievements of the future.

8. Empathy: Build the relationships you need to succeed by being willing to walk a mile in others’ shoes.

9. Competitiveness:  Play to win, but play fair. Be a good sport when you lose.

10. Patience:  Life and career success is a journey, not a destination.  Take things one step at a time.

11. Persuasiveness: Use logic to convince others to your point of view.

12. Confidence: If you believe you can, you can.  If you don’t believe you can, you can’t.

13. Passion: Care about what you do.  If you care a little you’ll be an OK performer.  If you care a lot, you’ll become the life and career success you deserve to be.

14. Integrity: Your brand should be uniquely you, but built on integrity.  Keep your commitments, stay true to yourself.

15. Trustworthy: Do what you say you’ll do.  When you can’t let others know as soon as possible.  Be reliable.

16. Having Fun:  Life is an adventure.  Enjoy the ride.

17. Open to New Ideas: Listen hardest to those people with whom you disagree.  You’re likely to learn something.

18. Creativity: Always be on the lookout for new and better ways of getting things done.

19. Courage: Face your fears and act.  Identify and admit to what you fear.  Accept what you fear.  Do something about it.

20. Network: Build and nurture a strong professional network.  Industry associations are a great place to start.

That’s my best 20 ideas on what it takes to become a life and career success.  What do you think?  What have I missed?  Please leave a comment with your suggestions.  As always, thanks for reading my daily thoughts on life and career success.  I value you and I appreciate you.

Bud

PS: If you haven’t already done so, I suggest that you check out my career advice book Success Tweets and its companion piece Success Tweets Explained.  The first gives you 140 bits of career success advice tweet style — in 140 characters or less.  The second is a whopping 390 + pages of career advice explaining each of the common sense tweets in Success Tweets in detail.  Go to http://budurl.com/STExp to claim your free copy.  You’ll also start receiving my daily life and career success quotes.

PPS: Have you seen my membership site, My Corporate Climb?  It’s devoted to helping people just like you create career success inside large corporations.  You can find out about it by going to http://www.mycorporateclimb.

Social media plays an increasingly important role in your life and career success.  The other day, I saw a great post on how to make effective use of social media in a job search by Ross Simmonds in the Corn on the Job blog.

Ross provides some great common sense career advice in this post.  Check out what he has to say…

First, figure out what industry you’re looking to break into and how you can do it. Are you looking to get into Politics? If so, you’re going to be interested in finding any politicians on social media and follow them on Twitter or connect with them on LinkedIn. If you’re looking to break into the corporate world of management and business, LinkedIn is a great way to search various organizations to identify key decision-makers who can help open the door to your new career.

From there track down these key people on Twitter or LinkedIn and offer an innocent and polite introduction to yourself – While you’re at it, ask them something that will allow them to share their knowledge upon you. The fact that you’re engaging with them on a deeper level than simply asking for a job will help you develop an authentic relationship. By doing this, you may have started what could be a long-term professional relationship. This is a great approach for any young person looking to find a mentor in a specific industry.

This advice has helped get many of my friends and colleagues where they are today – believe it or not. Social media gives us an opportunity to connect and most importantly increase our visibility to a group we would only meet at a white-tie event. That said, once you have identified people who are doing what you want to do or are in the businesses you want to work for don’t harass them. Keep an eye on what they are doing and focus on developing an authentic relationship with them one day (or tweet) at a time.

When someone Googles your name what is the first thing to show up? Is it a random person in a random country? Is it a humiliating image of you on Facebook? Or is it simply a list of random links with no personal relevance? None of these are the best answers. The best answer is one that ensures that when someone searches you on Google, they find exactly what you want them to find. More and more are recruiters doing background checks by searching our names online (usually on Facebook). If you’re able to control your image effectively online you will find it easier to control your fate in the job hunt.

That final piece about taking charge and managing your professional image is an important one. If you’re looking to break into a professional field, you’re going to want to present yourself on social media in a professional manner. That’s right, you need to recognize that school is over and it’s time to start building and developing a personal brand that you can be proud of. Yes, that means having a head shot on LinkedIn and not a picture of you and your friends’ on a beach or doing shots before a big night on the town!

Remember, setting up a LinkedIn account and connecting with key individuals will not guarantee you a job. To do that, you are going to have to put in the time and understand the art of the hustle. Although digital channels have changed everything, the power of meeting someone face to face is still a necessity. Thus, I encourage you to take your professional conversations from being behind the screen of a laptop to being face to face in a coffee shop or even their office. Trust me, there’s nothing better than being able to put a face to the pixels.

I like what Ross has to say here.  There are two points I’d like to emphasize.  The first is in the next to last paragraph – manage your personal image.  Pay attention to how you come across on line.  Google yourself and take a hard, critical look at what you find.  Ask yourself, “Would I hire this person?”  If the answer is no, start building a more professional image on line.  Ross’ professional headshot suggestion is a good place to start.

In the final paragraph Ross makes another great career success point – social media is great for meeting people, but they don’t substitute for face to face conversation.  Once you make a contact do everything you can to connect in person.  If meeting in person is impossible because of distance, try connecting via the telephone.  As Alex Mandossian points out, the human voice is still the best tool at your disposal for building the relationships that help you create the life and career success you want and deserve.

The career success coach point here is simple common sense.  A solid professional image goes a long way in helping you land your dream job.  Follow the career advice in Tweet 67 in my career success book Success Tweets.  “Demonstrate self-respect.  Be impeccable in your presentation of self – in person and on line.”  In this post I shared some great career advice from Ross Simmonds on how to use social media to present yourself as a competent professional.  But remember, while social media is great for initiating relationships, noting takes the place of face to face communication for enhancing them.

That’s the career advice I found in Ross Simmonds’ thoughts on using social media to land a job.  What do you think?  Please take a minute to share your thoughts with us in a comment.  As always, thanks for reading my daily musings on life and career success.

Bud

PS: If you haven’t already done so, I suggest that you check out my career advice book Success Tweets and its companion piece Success Tweets Explained.  The first gives you 140 bits of career success advice tweet style — in 140 characters or less.  The second is a whopping 390 + pages of career advice explaining each of the common sense tweets in Success Tweets in detail.  Go to http://budurl.com/STExp to claim your free copy.  You’ll also start receiving my daily life and career success quotes.

PPS: Have you seen my membership site, My Corporate Climb?  It’s devoted to helping people just like you create career success inside large corporations.  You can find out about it by going to http://www.mycorporateclimb.

I saw an article in the United Airlines in flight mag “Hemispheres” the other day.  It made a great common sense point about the importance of lifelong learning and career success…

“The benefits of a lifelong education are incalculable, both for individuals and for the companies for which they work.  As the world become smaller and competition fiercer, the upside to continued education will grow exponentially.”

I agree.  Tweet 81 in my career success book Success Tweets says, “Learn faster than the world changes.  In a world that never stops changing, you can never stop learning and growing.”

Lifelong learning is a key to success.  In today’s fast-paced world, if you don’t keep learning, you’re not standing still, you’re falling behind.  One of my favorite quotes from Gandhi nails it when it comes to lifelong learning…

“Live as if you were to die tomorrow.  Learn as if you were to live forever.”

He’s right.  None of us should ever quit learning.  I have a thirst for knowledge and do my best to quench it through learning.  I try to learn something new every day.  Sometimes my learning is trivial, sometimes it is profound.  Regardless, I keep on learning.

On days when I feel as if I haven’t learned anything, I turn to a little book that I have called, Live and Learn and Pass It On.  The subtitle is, “People ages 5 to 95 share what they’ve discovered about life, love, and other good stuff.”  I usually find something in there that satisfies.

Here are a few of the learnings in the book that have helped me…

I’ve learned that if you wait until all conditions are perfect before you act, you’ll never act.

I’ve learned that if you want to get promoted, you must do things that get you noticed.

I’ve learned that 90% of what happens in my life is positive and only about 10% is negative.  If I want to be happy I just need to focus on the 90%.

These are little life learnings that I find helpful.

All of the people I know who are committed to lifelong learning have several traits in common.  They all…

…Are humble.  They admit what they don’t know.  This is the first step in learning what they need to know.

…Question the status quo.  They realize that because something is right today, it may not be right tomorrow.  They know that doing things “the way we’ve always done them” is not good reasoning.

…Are intellectually curious.  They truly want to learn and find learning fun, interesting and stimulating.  They see life as a journey in which they are constantly learning.

…Are willing to try new stuff.  They experiment and see what works.  When things work, they use them.

…Are not afraid to fail.  They see failure as an opportunity to learn.  Just as they incorporate what works into their repertoire, they use failures as stepping stones to other experiments.

…Are tolerant of ambiguity.  Learning creates ambiguity.  These people are willing to let go of past ways of doing things in order to come up with new ways of doing things in the future.  The gap between the past and future can make for an uncomfortable present.

…Focus on staying ahead of the pack.  They are early adopters – of new technology and new ways of thinking.  They realize that knowledge has a short half-life today.  They keep learning to stay ahead.

The common sense career success coach point here is simple.  Successful people are outstanding performers.  Outstanding performers remain outstanding performers by becoming lifelong learners.  They continually expand their knowledge in order to get out in front of the pack and stay there.  They follow the career advice in Tweet 82 in Success Tweets.  “Learn faster than the world changes.  In a world that never stops changing, you can never stop learning and growing.”  Begin your lifelong learning journey by focusing on your strengths and working to improve them every day.  Building on your strengths is easier than overcoming your weaknesses.  When you build on your strengths you can make incremental improvements.  However, if you have a glaring gap in your skills, address it now.  Don’t wait to take necessary quantum leaps.  What do you need to learn to create the life and career success you want and deserve?  How do you plan on learning it?  Remember what Ben Franklin had to say, “An investment in knowledge pays the best interest.”

That’s my career advice on lifelong learning.  What do you think?  Please take a few minutes to share your thoughts with us in a comment.  As always, thanks for reading my daily musings on life and career success.  I value you and I appreciate you.

Bud

PS: If you haven’t already done so, I suggest that you check out my career advice book Success Tweets and its companion piece Success Tweets Explained.  The first gives you 140 bits of career success advice tweet style — in 140 characters or less.  The second is a whopping 390 + pages of career advice explaining each of the common sense tweets in Success Tweets in detail.  Go to http://budurl.com/STExp to claim your free copy.  You’ll also start receiving my daily life and career success quotes.

PPS: Have you seen my membership site, My Corporate Climb?  It’s devoted to helping people just like you create career success inside large corporations.  You can find out about it by going to http://www.mycorporateclimb.

The ability to create positive personal impact is an important life and the career success key.  I devote an entire section of my latest book Climbing the Corporate Ladder to it.  You need to do three things to create positive personal impact: 1) Create and nurture your unique personal brand; 2) be impeccable in your presentation of self – in person and on line; and 3) know and follow the basic rules of business etiquette.

I subscribe to Ann Marie Sabath’s newsletter in which she provides an etiquette tip every month.    Ann Marie is the founder and CEO of At Ease Inc., a business protocol and etiquette company.  She’s been in business since 1987  — one year before I started my speaking, writing and career coaching business.  Check her out at http://www.ateaseinc.com.  This month’s tip was about conversation skills – another key career success competency.  Check it out…

“When you are in conversation with others, do you learn more about them or do you more about yourself?

“Some people go in to monologue mode without realizing it when talking to others.  What they not realize, however, is that people would see them as much more interesting if they were only more interested in others.

“Savvy conversationalists ask more about others than they share about themselves.  They wait for those around them to ask for their opinions rather than volunteering information.  These master conversationalists know that less is more when talking.  They position what they have to say by posing a question about the topic they would like to discuss to ensure equal exchange.”

I devote several tweets in my career success book, Success Tweets to conversation skills.  Tweet 107 echoes Ann Marie’s advice on conversations.  “Become an excellent conversationalist by listening more than speaking.  Pay attention to what other people say; respond appropriately.”  Tweet 109 says, “Use the 2/3 – 1/3 rule.  Listen two things of the time; speak one third of the time.  Focus your complete attention on the other person.”

In other posts I’ve pointed out that asking good questions is an important way to become known as a great conversationalist.  But to take full advantage of the questions you ask, you need to really listen to the answers and respond appropriately.

Here are my top seven tips for becoming a good listener – and conversationalist.

1. Look the other person in the eye when he or she is speaking.  This demonstrates that you are engaged with him or her.
2. Listen to understand what the other person is saying – not to plan your rebuttal.
3. Listen really hard when the other person begins by saying something with which you don’t agree.
4. Know the words that trigger your emotions.  Don’t get distracted by them.
5. Be patient.  Some people take longer than others to make their point.  Don’t interrupt.
6. Ask clarification questions when you don’t understand.
7. Repeat what you have heard the other person say – to make sure you got it right, and to show him or her that you were listening.

If you use these seven tips in conversation, you will become known as a great conversationalist and a dynamic communicator.

The common sense career success coach point here is simple.  Successful people are good conversationalists.  To become a good conversationalist, follow the career advice in Tweets 107 and 109 in Success Tweets.  “Become an excellent conversationalist by listening more than speaking.  Pay attention to what other people say; respond appropriately.”  (Tweet 107) “Use the 2/3 – 1/3 rule.  Listen two things of the time; speak one third of the time.  Focus your complete attention on the other person.”  (Tweet 109)  Learn to listen well.  Listening, like a lot of career success advice, is just common sense.  Show the other person you are engaged.  Focus on understanding, not on rebutting points with which you don’t agree.  Don’t get distracted by words that trigger your emotions.  Ask clarification questions to ensure you understand what is being said.  Repeat what you’ve heard.  Most of all, get in the habit of listening more than speaking.

That’s my career advice on conversation skills.  What do you think?  Please take a minute to share your thoughts with us in a comment.  As always, thanks for reading my daily musings on life and career success.  I value you and I appreciate you.

Bud

PS: If you haven’t already done so, I suggest that you check out my career advice book Success Tweets and its companion piece Success Tweets Explained.  The first gives you 140 bits of career success advice tweet style — in 140 characters or less.  The second is a whopping 390 + pages of career advice explaining each of the common sense tweets in Success Tweets in detail.  Go to http://budurl.com/STExp to claim your free copy.  You’ll also start receiving my daily life and career success quotes.

PPS: Have you seen my membership site, My Corporate Climb?  It’s devoted to helping people just like you create career success inside large corporations.  You can find out about it by going to http://www.mycorporateclimb.