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What I learned from my parents’ marriage

2016-04-15T09:36:00.002-07:00

In this day and age, many wedded couples are considered extremely lucky to stay married longer than their next mobile phone upgrade. I’ve witnessed marriages crumble to pieces. I have friends who worked awfully hard to stay married and friends who hardly worked to save their marriage but I am not one to pass judgment.

Staying together with someone—married or not—is a mutual decision. It’s about compromises, tons of it. It’s about respect, an endless reserve of it. It’s about trust, a steady stream of it. More importantly, it’s about love, an eternal supply of it.

That’s what I learned from my parents’ marriage.

I will be the first to acknowledge that their marriage was and is not issue-free. In fact, I am as certain as the sun rises and sets each day that their marriage had been battered, hammered, pounded and pummeled by problems bigger than what they can tackle.

Among their four kids, I am probably the only one who remembers vividly the toughest hurdles they had to jump over to get to where they are now—50 years of challenging but blissful journey together, hand in hand, heart to heart.

They’re celebrating their 50^th wedding anniversary this year on Nov. 21.

Their willingness and desire to stay together helped them breeze through heaps of difficulties. Of course, having four kids to look after factored in but I believe it’s actually the love, trust and respect they have for one another that kept their marriage—our family—intact.

I have nothing but unreserved respect and admiration for my Dad. His tenacity and zeal to raise his family amid unnerving difficulties are emulation-worthy. He is a cliché of what a virtuous father should be; he’d rather go hungry if it meant his wife and kids won’t—that’s the kind of husband and father he is.

My mom, on the other hand, is a character. She’s a loving mom and an equally loving wife but she’s had—still has—idiosyncratic qualities that one can either unconditionally love or passionately hate. We all, especially Dad, just decided to love her and all her quirkiness unconditionally.

Unconditional love: those are the key words that make for a lasting marriage; the fuel that gives couples the resolve to grow old together. This is what Mom and Dad selflessly share with one another that carried them through unbridled stages in their married life.

I can’t be any happier to have witnessed a journey such as theirs … ours. Theirs is the proof that marriage is not a contract but a validation that two people can, indeed, grow old together in a loving and caring relationship even when the odds were exceptionally against them at times.

I love you Mom and Dad. Thank you for not giving up on each other even when there were times that walking away seemed to be the easiest thing to do. Thank you for staying married not because you have to but because you want to. For everything that I am and for everything that I will be, thank you.

Most of all, thank you for being unwitting testimony to the power of unconditional love and its abilities to triumph over any adversity. Thank you.

A fur ball of cuddles

2016-04-15T09:28:00.003-07:00

My first real furry friend was Capone whose hu-mom’s (human mom) passing paved the way for our totally circumstantial meeting. It turned out to be a classic case of love at first sight. We became inseparable since then; he was wherever I was — from the bathroom to my workstation. He slept next to me and his kitty-brother Mr. Martini.

Capone was who I spent my first three lonesome Christmas dinners with in the U.S. He was with me the first time I drove through the scenic Highway 1 off the California coast and the only dog I seriously considered taking to a puppy psychologist because he got anxious (read: cried all day) every time I’d leave home for work. He was next to me when I experienced some of the many significant firsts in my stateside life.

It’s no surprise, therefore, how unbearably painful it was when it was time for him to take his journey to the Rainbow Bridge. He took with him the warmth of being greeted by a ferociously wagging tail every time I came home and the joys of listening to his infectiously happy yelps that cheered me up every time sadness crept in.

With his passing, life as I knew it had sadly changed, permanently. I told myself that no one can replace Capone. I didn’t think I could handle the guilt of even toying with the idea of getting another furry friend. But when it felt right to have a new friend, I started searching local shelters and browsing through online advertisements; I even considered buying from breeders (which I must emphasize is NEVER a good idea!). I have checked out countless dogs for adoption but no one just felt right.

One ordinary winter day, however, an officemate announced that she was looking for a home for a furry baby girl and asked if I may be interested. I agreed to take a quick look but the glance turned into a stare and the stroke graduated into a hug. Although I was hoping for a Pug or a Shih-tzu, it didn’t bother me a bit when told that Atteh (originally Ate or pronounced ah-the, which is older sister in Filipino but I had to change how we spelled her name because people started calling her “ate”) was a Yorkie.

Four hours and eight hundred dollars in veterinarian and pet store bills later, however, I was told Atteh wasn’t a Yorkie but a Jack Russell Terrier — a fur ball of energy that wasn’t exactly what I was looking for in a new furry friend.

I admit her breed was an instant source of disappointment but that didn’t stop me from convincing myself to like her because, truth is, she didn’t stop from being cute and loveable, either. She became a cuddly addition to the Fajardo-Ponder household — already pepped up by Kuya, a tabby American short hair kitty.

Atteh has become a joyful part of our road trips to the Yosemite National Park, Santa Cruz, Redding, the Napa Valley, South Lake Tahoe, and just everywhere we go. She sleeps on the bed with us, takes power naps on the couch with us, and goes hiking with us. She checks-in to hotels with us and sometimes goes to work with us. She even traveled to Guam with me when I took a writing job on the island, and moved back to the Golden State with me when I decided I’ve had enough of postcard-living.

As in any relationship, though, Atteh and I have our ups and downs. Her refusal to “respect my boundaries” annoyed me — many, many times. And each of those many times, I’d tell her to get lost. She’d keep her distance by a couple of feet but stayed where she could still see me.

I am not always pleased about the attention she gives me but she won’t stop giving. I am not always appreciative of the love she shows me but she won’t stop loving. Atteh personifies what loyalty and unconditional love truly are. No one else will love me this way ever again.

I feel blessed that Atteh picked me to be her hu-dad. I was right to have waited three years to find the right furry friend to live a joyful life with. Atteh, in her amazing ways, shows me she would always love me unconditionally despite my imperfections. She loves me and cares for me even during the times when my rage causes her to shiver and hide in terror — under the bed, with a pair of dirty socks in her mouth (I don’t know why).

She gives me nothing but love, forgiveness, patience and understanding even in my moments of selfishness, petulance and apathy. She sees nothing but the good in me; she looks past my flaws. She readily shows that she lives every single day of her life to purposely fill me with every joy she’s got.

In return, I promise to take her in my arms every day until the hours before my (or her) last breath — to feel her and her unconditional love. After all, no one else but my furry friend Atteh can — with certainty — promise me “until death do us part” and stay true to it.

A touch of SF with Hafa Adai twist

2013-11-24T21:28:00.001-08:00

Its coffee shops are among San Francisco’s main attraction. They ooze with an ambiance that makes customers feel like they’re sipping a hot cup of Joe right in their own living room. That is the inspiration behind Guam Coffee Company – a newly established coffee shop in Tumon that conveys San Francisco’s warm welcome but with a much warmer Hafa Adai twist to it.

Joseph Santos, co-owner of the Guam Coffee Company, said the shop was designed to mirror the Chamorro people’s culture of hospitality. “We wanted to make sure that the Hafa Adai spirit is reflected in the shop’s layout and design, our furniture, décor, and most importantly, our service.”

Santos said the coffee shop’s interior revolves around the elements of comfort. All furnishings are locally sourced, including the collection of local glass mosaic artworks on display and available for sale.

At a corner inside the Guam Coffee Company is an L-shaped sectional couch facing an all-glass wall that offers a view of the Tumon Bay – slightly obstructed by the towers of the Pacific Islands Club. Santos said the idea is for customers to feel at home and enjoy the atmosphere that’s made extra special by the company’s freshly-brewed coffee.

“We fly in coffee beans on a limited amount to ensure quality and freshness. It’s an added cost to ship smaller amounts more frequently but we wouldn’t compromise taste and quality,” he said. “Our coffee beans are hand-roasted individually. We have Ethiopian, Italian and Costa Rican roasts.”

He said they import whole, roasted beans and grind them only prior to brewing by the company’s professionally trained baristas. “This process locks in the freshness and ensures better-tasting coffee, whether it’s the drip or our many specialized blends such as latte, mocha and others – hot or cold.”

Long Process

Santos said the process of putting up the Guam Coffee Company didn’t happen overnight. It was borne out of his frequent trips to a coffee shop in San Francisco’s Haight-Ashbury district during his college years.

Although venturing into a coffee shop business had always been an integral part of his long-term goals, it took the back seat to give way for Santos’ other passion: marketing. He said years of employment in marketing and management positions prepared him for Guam Coffee Company.

“It’s all about timing. We just feel that the time is right for the Guam Coffee Company to come to life,” he said, adding that the actual process of putting the company together started in May 2012. “The biggest hurdle was finding the perfect location. We know that location is key to the success of any business, so we took our time in finding what we feel is the right location.”

It took the Guam Coffee Company 13 months to finally find a home. Situated on San Vitores Road, it’s far enough from the hustle and bustle of Tumon but still sufficiently close to the throngs of visitors that walk around the tourist district.

“We believe we found the perfect location. We have ample parking for customers who drive and we’re still close to the tourist district for those who don’t,” he said.

The Guam Coffee Company soft-opened in early October with a grand opening scheduled toward the end of this month.

The Importance of Social Media Marketing

2013-11-24T00:52:00.001-08:00

Marketing paves the way not just for increased financial bottom-line but also for the establishment of long-term relationships with customers -- two of the most important factors that keep businesses afloat.

In these days of amplified technological advancements, however, the Internet and the devices that come along with it have forever reshaped the landscape of how organizations, regardless of size, market their products and services.

Gone were the days when marketing was nothing but a 30-second video or sound bite. While traditional media advertisements remain an important marketing tool, the puffed-up number of social media use has necessitated business organizations to also communicate with their customers.

The new marketing landscape, restructured by the emergence of social media, provides multi-directional conversations between businesses and their customers, experts say. However, social media is not just additional work for entrepreneurs and corporations; it offers an effective medium for businesses to build relationships with the public – by means of liking and following their brands.

Bank of Guam’s Women in Business, in partnership with the Guam Small Business Development Center at UOG, gave entrepreneurs and marketing professionals on the island the opportunity to learn the ropes of social media marketing through an eight-hour workshop held Thursday, Nov. 21.

Called the “Social Media Marketing the SMART Way”, the workshop was developed to help local businesses better understand the power held by the new Internet-based medium – accessed through computers and hand-held devices – in bringing about business success.

The conference, held at the Westin Resort Guam’s Somnak Ballroom, was presented by EntrepreNOW’s Monica Cornetti and Denise Mendiola Hertslet, senior business counselor at Guam SBDC and BOG Women in Business Program coordinator.

A Tribute to the Mechanical Happy

2013-10-28T01:19:00.000-07:00

Guam has tightly held its spot in the luxury retail market with international watchmaker Chopard choosing the island, among other major cities in the Asia Pacific region, to launch its new timepiece – the Happy Sport Medium Automatic.

Chopard launched the mechanical movement timepiece on Guam through an exhibit at the lobby of Tumon Sands Plaza organized by Caronel, its exclusive distributor on Guam and Saipan.

Caronel advertising and promotions manager Martin Estabillo said the exhibit, which will run until Dec. 31, was put together to celebrate the 20th anniversary of Chopard’s Happy Sport watch created by Caroline Scheufele in 1993 and the launching of the collection’s automatic interpretation.

Happy Sport watches are known for their contemporary, daring and subtly unconventional look – prettified by floating diamonds that move freely just a few millimeters above exquisite watch dials.

Estabillo said Chopard’s mechanical movement version possesses all the luxuriously precise attributes of its quartz counterpart plus the extraordinary qualities of automatic timepieces, which are known for their longevity and are typically handed from one generation to another as heirloom.

The new Happy Sport Medium Automatic stays true to Chopard’s tradition of elegance and sophistication. It is bejeweled with the famous moving diamonds, adding an unprecedented mechanical dimension to the automatic timepieces’ natural charm.

The new watch has a silver-toned dial that pays tribute to the “decorative traditions of classical watch-making and a perfect backdrop against which to highlight the seven moving diamonds,” according to a media release from Chopard.

“On the back, a sapphire crystal provides a chance to admire its mechanical self-winding movement adorned with a straight Geneva stripes motif. Its 36 mm-diameter steel or 18ct rose gold case is water resistant to 30 meters and fitted with an alligator leather strap or an 18ct rose gold bracelet,” the release added.

High gas prices boost sales of fuel efficient cars

2013-10-28T01:12:00.000-07:00

High gas prices are turning Guam’s thoroughfares into an apparent river of environment savvy and budget-conscious motorists who are cruising the island’s roadways in their fuel-sipping vehicles that pack an average consumption of 25 miles per gallon on city driving.

A report obtained from the Guam Department of Motor Vehicles disclosed that compact cars accounted for about 36 percent of all new car registrations on the island in the first half of the year, totaling 1,333 units in the period covering January-June 2013.

This year’s six-month number is at least 3.0 percent higher than the average makeup of all-vehicle registration in 2012, according to the DMV data. Popular for their fuel efficiency features, compact cars comprised 33 percent of all new vehicle registrations last year.

The monthly average of new compact car registrations jumped 3.2 percent this year to 222 units from last year’s 215. At the same time, the average number of new light trucks registered with the DMV dropped by 21.7 percent to 90 units per month from last year’s 115.

Guam Auto Dealers Association president Jay Jones pointed out that the DMV information does not accurately reflect the actual new car sales figures because it includes vehicles shipped to the island from other places, mostly Hawaii and the mainland U.S.

“The numbers generally represent all new registrations with the DMV, which include vehicles bought and imported from other places,” explained Jones, who is also senior vice president of Triple J Group.

Jones, however, hinted that some categories of vehicles are, indeed, experiencing hotter sales than others.

On Guam, gas prices have increased three times since January with the highest jump taking place on July 17 at 14 cents a gallon for regular unleaded to $4.83. The price of regular unleaded on Guam first jumped by 10 cents from $4.77 to $4.87 a gallon on Jan. 29 and again on Feb. 11. It dropped by 10 cents on March 11 and went back to the year-end level of $4.78 on April 8.

Guam motorists enjoyed a year-low regular unleaded price of $4.68 per gallon for three months since April 16 prior to July’s 14-cent hike.

As a result of high gas prices, Guam has seen an increased interest in fuel-efficient small cars both in shopper activity and DMV registration.

Jones said gas prices have definitely had an impact on consumers’ buying habits. “Most families now want to have at least one fuel efficient vehicle in their fleet that they can use for more of their day-to-day driving needs.”

Popularity of compact crossovers such as the Honda CR-V, Ford Escape, and other smaller, more fuel-efficient offspring of bulky SUVs have also soared in recent years and remain especially hot while gas prices are high. On the island, the average registration of new compact and mid-size SUVs totaled 160 units in 2012.

On the other hand, DMV data revealed that the monthly average of new full-sized light truck registrations dropped by 17.6 percent from 34 in 2012 to 28 this year.

Increased sales of fuel-efficient car models have also caused the overall average fuel economy of new vehicles sold to rise. Industry observers estimate that the average was 23.1 mpg for all new light vehicle purchases. That represents an increase from the previous average of 23.0 mpg.

They said that as long as gas prices continue to bring pain at the pump for drivers, car dealerships are expected to enjoy strong sales of small, fuel efficient vehicles.

Live to Write to Live

2013-04-02T14:58:00.001-07:00

We dream. We dream big. We plan. We make grand plans.

Mid-journey, however, we realize that life isn’t about to give us exactly what we hoped for, that our plans are going entirely awry. The life we so diligently charted for ourselves is taking a completely different course. Although not exactly lost, we can’t say we’re found, either.

Many of us find ourselves wandering in apparent oblivion. Despite all the planning, all the dreaming, and all the actions we take to get to where we want to be, to where we thought we should be, fate, it turns out, has something else in mind -- sometimes.

As a child, I remember being asked what I want to be when I grow up. A pilot, I would always say. The answer to the question changed to “doctor” around the time I was in grade school up until I was 14. But when my high school started sending me to writing competitions, I knew I wanted to be … and I was going to be … a writer. A journalist.

All of a sudden, I lost interest in stethoscopes, white robes and ineligible handwriting. All I could think of was how swell it must be to see my by-line in a major newspaper: BY ALDWIN R. FAJARDO, Reporter. The thought of having my name printed on the pages of a newspaper for people -- especially for my parents -- to see, and having my work published for them to read was everything I ever wanted. I’d do all that I can to see it through.

And the dream did come true. “BY ALDWIN R. FAJARDO” was a sight I had seen not only on the pages of major national dailies in the Philippines but also on newspapers in countries that -- around that time -- won‘t even give me a tourist visa.

I lived to write and writing sustained me. It paid the bills. It was a consistent source of happiness, of fulfillment, and of relevance.

Writing was the only reason I had when I set sail for America. What else could be better than for a non-English speaking journalist to be one in an English-speaking country. I didn’t realize until later on that I was setting myself up for a major disappointment. Not that America wasn’t ready to embrace a Filipino print journalist with a thick Filipino accent, it’s that the American newspaper industry was on the brink of extinction when I got here. The digital age was killing it.

Necessity forced me to stop depending on writing as a source of fiscal sustenance. For many years -- a dozen lifetimes, it seemed -- I existed but not lived because I was breathing but wasn’t writing. Still, I can’t be an office zombie forever. I am bound to be undead sooner or later and maybe sooner than later, I will wake up to live to write and write to live.

I'm not going anywhere. Not yet.

2013-03-15T09:58:00.003-07:00

Courtesy of buildyoursoulpurpose.com

“Do you know where you’re going to? Do you like the things that life is showing you? Where are you going to? Do you know?”

These words from what has become a graduation anthem have semi-permanently resided in my mind from the time I was forced to lip-synch it in my high school exit ceremonies.

To my young mind, those questions were simply impossible to answer and I thought things will get so much clearer when I get older. They didn’t.

Fast-forward to many 28th birthdays since the time I first turned 28 (please don‘t make me count the years), I still can’t make out where I’m going to. I can’t say if I really like the things that life is showing me but I absolutely like the lessons I’ve learned from everything that I went through so far in life.

None of the things that happened in my life were pre-meditated. However, I believe that nothing in my life is accidental. True, I never made plans. But it’s because I believe that the winds of life will blow me to where it sees I fit. The reasons aren’t always apparent in the beginning but they become more evident through time and that‘s when I truly appreciate the good and the bad, the ups and downs, the miseries and joys of all the things I‘ve done and have not done.

I have again reached a point in my life when it felt like a decision had to be made; when it felt like a road had to be crossed. I tried making a decision. I tried taking the steps necessary to cross the road. But fate intervened. Life has deemed the decision null and the steps void.

Right now, the answer to the question “do you know where you’re going to?” is nowhere. I am where I should be now. For how long, only time can tell and fate won’t give me a hint.

Joyful Shades of Gloom

2012-11-15T22:22:00.000-08:00

Autumn makes me feel a bit gloomy. Nights are longer, and even the Sun's shortened reign during the day is being cut shorter by rain-clouds ... its warmth seems to be no match against the cold weather, made even worse by the freezing Canadian breeze.

However, Autumn paints the most amazing and colorful pictures. It provides an opportunity for Summer to take a graceful, dramatic exit ... and for Winter to make an elaborate entrance. While I don't particularly like the way it has shortened daytime, Autumn is my favorite time of the year to snap pictures.

Here I present the Joyful Shades of Gloom!

28 Again, Naturally

2012-09-25T09:46:00.001-07:00

It’s that time of the year again. It seems just like yesterday when I wrote to you and told you that you‘re not welcome in my life. Not last year. Not this year. Not ever! What made you think I was going to change my mind? Even your overused and ultra outdated “life begins” promise offers a very trivial lure. It can’t … it won’t … convince me to like you.

I have ran out of ways to say and show you there’s no room for you in my life … at least not in this lifetime. How else can I send the message across?

Stop acting like you’re Christmas Day or New Year’s Day. Because, uhm, how do I clearly say it: You’re not! Heck, you don’t even come close to Labor Day! You’re nothing but an annoying excuse for people to flood my Facebook page or for spongers to taunt me for free dinner in exchange for pseudo-gifts I won‘t like. Hell, you even barely generated gifts in the many years that you were an unwelcome regular visitor in my life even though your arrival date has been hardly a surprise.

So this year -- like the years that have passed -- I’ll just totally ignore you when you do your annual trek back to my life on Sept. 28. Well, unless, of course you come bearing a basketful of Benjamins (or a Volvo C70). Otherwise, please know -- if you don’t yet -- that your coming is not appreciated.

It’s bad enough that my health insurance premium is going up because you are kicking me up to the next bracket but when you came last year I think I grew crow’s feet next to my eyes. What despicable signs are you leaving on my face next? A line or two? A crinkle on my nose?

And no, life doesn’t begin … will not begin … the day after you leave this year because life had sort of ended the second time I turned 28.

I Love Me An iPhone 5

2012-09-22T10:12:00.001-07:00

I don't usually join the mob. I had this twisted idea that I am a non-conformist. I still am, I think, in a lot of ways but not when it comes to gizmos, particularly Apple ... and more speciparticularly (lol!) the iPhone.

So there I was Thursday night, Sept. 13, half asleep with my old iPhone 4 on one hand and my Macbook Pro on my lap, anxiosuly waiting for the Apple online store to open at midnight, Pacific Time. I was constantly refreshing the page like a lunatic. I have to have the iPhone 5 on release date and I knew I was competing with millions of people across the globe and I kinda knew there won't be enough units to send to iPhone freaks like me on Sept. 21. I gotta stay awake!

At 12:03 AM, Sept. 14, 2012, my order for a 16GB White iPhone 5 went through. I was pretty sure mine will be handed to me by the guy on brown shorts come Sept. 21. But the anxiety about getting my precious iPhone 5 was stronger than the assurance offered by my 12:03AM invoice from the Apple online store. So the next days were all about checking my order status, which practically plateau'd on the "Preparing for Shipment" stage up until Sept. 19. That's when panic struck me.

How in the world will the UPS man come knocking on my door on Friday if Apple's still preparing my iPhone 5 for shipment two days before it's supposedly delivered?

Google! And I found the answer from the many other paranoid iPhone freaks like me. Truth is, it was shipped Sept. 17 but Apple decided to torture us by apparently deliberately not updating the order status page until the 20th -- or until after we figured out how to check it ourselves: Track by Reference on the UPS website.

I am not proud (although I can't say that I care) about skipping work Friday, Sept. 21, to wait for my iPhone 5. Nobody will be home if I did go to work so I requested to swap my Friday workday with Saturday. (Thank you, Boss!)

Everything worked out fine. I can't be happier about my new toy. And I don't care what others (read: jealous!) say against the iPhone 5, I friggin love it!

Forgive. Forget. Live.

2012-09-15T11:34:00.003-07:00

Migration was never a part of my childhood and growing up dreams although I had relentlessly wished to move to a different neighborhood in a different city but still within the borders of the Greater Manila Area.

At 14, I chose to transfer to another high school away from our family residence and lived a-la-househelp in a cousin's rented apartment where I still can clearly remember how me and my younger sister would wash soiled baby diapers as sort of a payback for staying there "kinda" free. That was my routine for 2 years until I finished high school.

While in college, I stayed at an uncle's house that's about the same distance from the university as my family residence, then moved back to my cousin's apartment, moved back for a while to the family residence, then moved into a boarding house. I don't think I was ever back there except for a few days visit since then.

Nobody bothered to ask me why I seemed to have been persistently running away from home. Even if somebody did, I didn't think I would have given a clear answer except: I just don't want to be there.

My reasons are wretched and personal. Those reasons remained securely guarded until I decided early this week that it's time to forget and the only way to completely forget is to let go. And now that I have dropped the heavy baggage off my chest, I am more happy-excited to be home ... sweet ... home (for a few days in October).

I believe that's the best birthday gift I have given myself ... to be able to look back only at happy memories and the lessons I learned from the unspoken ones: Forgive. Forget. Live.

Happy Early Birthday to Me!

No Pasalubong Left Behind

2012-09-10T13:53:00.001-07:00

Photo By Australian Filipina

Filipinos are known to be "heavy" travelers, literally. Frantically looking for the Philippine Airlines counter at the San Francisco International Airport, I was reminded that all I needed to do was look for a pile of heavily-stuffed cardboard boxes and that would lead me to the Manila-bound airline counter.

Not even the changes in the air travel landscape brought about by the 9-11 terror attacks could move Filipinos — at least majority of us — into abandoning our deeply embedded custom of pasalubong.

We can only care less if our balikbayan boxes that exceed the 50-lbs limit would mean extra time shuffling the items from one box to another or into our carry-on luggage. That additional time spent opening our heavily sealed boxes to move items around is no more than just a very superficial discomfort. The anticipated excitement of those who will get the pasalubong far outweighs the inconvenience at the airline counter.

In the years that I have trekked back to nanay-land, I have only traveled with balikbayan boxes once. I always travel light but I usually send my pasalubong in advance via LBC or Atlas.

Because even to light Filipino travelers like me, none of those damn pasalubong items will be left behind.

United, we fly Delta

2012-09-10T10:35:00.002-07:00

I don’t consider myself picky when it comes to which airlines I fly when I travel because most, if not all, of them suck, anyways. In the years that I have been traveling, though, I have used Continental (now United) Airlines the most since many of my previous trips were to and from Saipan and Guam. I have not had any complaints about Continental -- the airline I wanted to take for my Las Vegas trip in August.

On the day of my flight out of Sacramento International Airport to Las Vegas, I saw a man ranting against it (the new Continental -- United, actually) at the Sacramento International Airport. The man gave what seemed to be a 5-minute monologue about how bad customer service was at the United Airlines counter. He said never again will he fly United Airlines. Another United passenger, and another, and another, and another nodded in agreement.

Oh my cheezwhiz! It’s going to be bad. Not for me, though. I walked pass the United Airlines counter to a Delta Airlines kiosk and printed my boarding pass. It was the first time I flew Delta, it won’t be the last.

Many times, we don’t get what we want because Heaven has a better plan for us.

Reproductive Health and the Indigent Filipina

2012-08-04T10:36:00.002-07:00

Everyday in the Philippines, 11 mothers die from pregnancy and childbirth complications ... because they didn't know enough about reproductive health or have no access to family planning methods, says Sen. Miriam Defensor Santiago in a recent interview with BBC's Our World.

Ms. Santiago is a staunch proponent of the Reproductive Health Bill now pending and being hotly debated in the Philippines Congress, with the Catholic Church waving the flag of opposition, thereby effectively delaying (read: denying) millions of impoverished Filipino women access to crucial family planning and reproductive health methods and information.

On a hindsight, it could be interpreted as the Catholic Church facilitating the apparent murder of 3,000 to 5,000 Filipino women every year to defend what it calls "life".

But when does life actually begin? Does it begin at time of -- to quote Sheldon Cooper -- coitus?

Journalist Cher Jimenez Cayabyab says the number could be bigger because the last national demographic survey was done years ago and that it didn't include the half a million women who go for abortion every year because of unwanted pregnancy. "That should not be the case if only family planning methods are made available and that couples are informed and empowered to plan their family."

The Catholic Church continues to stand its ground, stressing that natural methods are the only way to a successful family planning program in Catholic Philippines.

"To claim exclusivity or monopoly of knowledge is dangerous," asserts Ms. Santiago in the BBC interview. "There is no compulsory provision in the proposed RH Bill."

The proposed legislation only gives Filipino women access to information and methods. If they choose to reject it, they are -- at least -- making an informed decision.

Bigot Scouts of America

2012-07-25T06:47:00.000-07:00

More than just sad, it's heart-breaking to know that bigots have consistently failed or refused to realize how they have been so wrong -- always have been wrong -- especially organizations that's supposed to embody diversity, acceptance and equality. The LGBT Community and its supporters have made tremendous successes in the advancement of tolerance and acceptance, but apparently nothing can convince the Boy Scouts of America (BSA) that bigotry is a dying cause the organization might as well change its official name to Bigot Scouts of America.

The Bigot Scouts' refusal to allow openly gay people to serve as troop leaders or members has prompted an increasing number of Eagle Scouts to renounce their membership and return their hard-earned medals.

"Today I am returning my Eagle Scout medal because I do not want to be associated with the bigotry for which it now stands. I hope that one day BSA stands up for all boys. It saddens me that until that day comes any sons of mine will not participate in the Boy Scouts," says Christopher Baker, a former Eagle Scout.

Baker is straight, married and doesn't seem to have gay children. He just happens to be someone who epitomizes what a real Scout should be ... must be ... one who firmly stands for equality.

Salute!

One Dam Trip Up North

2012-07-19T14:40:00.003-07:00

It was one of the hottest summer weekends this year but not even the scorching heat of the morning-to-afternoon sun stopped us from spending June 16, 2012 outdoors. Our little road trip ended in Shasta Lake north of Redding, California where we braced the heat walking across the Sundial Bridge and around the Shasta Dam; went pseudo-spelunking at the Shasta Caverns; and had a good laugh throwing Atteh, our Jack Russell Terrier, into the warm lake.

One Splendid Day in Aptos

2012-07-16T12:43:00.000-07:00

Stuart and Atteh at the Nisene Marks State Park in Aptos

I got to go back to Santa Cruz last week. It was only a day trip, but it’s filled with probably the most activities I’ve done in less than 8 hours.

Stuart and I took our Jack Russell Terrier Atteh with us on the 3-hour drive from Sacramento to Watsonville Community Hospital where my real-life fairy god-sister Carol gave birth to her precious daughter Lillian Marie Madrideo Lloyd-Jones -- Lilly. Welcoming Lilly to a loving world was the most important agenda of this Santa Cruz trip. We, however, wasted no time in revisiting the places we have had wonderful memories in.

First stop was my former Aptos apartment on Sea Ridge Court where I had happy moments with Capone, Martini and Chachi -- who all are now waiting for their daddy at the foot of the Rainbow Bridge. Then we walked Atteh on the Sea Cliff beach before heading to the Nisene Marks State Park where Atteh had some more walking and running and pulling.

But the best part of our visit -- besides seeing Lilly for the first time -- was reliving one of our most favorite dining experiences at the Bangkok West Restaurant in Aptos. Stuart and I have had many amazing lunches and dinners there; my favorites include the roast duck and pineapple fried rice, which is literally served on a carved pineapple. The ambiance is vibrant yet serene and the staff personify the smiley face.

We drove back to Sacramento at the end of the day taking with us the good Santa Cruz vibe and have agreed that Santa Cruz, for us, will always be home. It really feels like it!

Awesome Santa Cruzin'

2012-07-10T12:36:00.001-07:00

The Natural Bridge

Not that I am getting tired of waking up to a cup of instant coffee and heart-shaped fresh banana pancakes in our Sacramento apartment but I miss waking up in Santa Cruz, California.

More popularly known for its beaches, redwood forests, wineries and perfect summer weather, Santa Cruz -- the county -- is a strip about ten miles wide between the coast and the crest of the Santa Cruz Mountains at the northern end of the Monterey Bay. The treacherous Highway 17 -- a stretch of narrow and winding road -- connects Santa Cruz to the rest of the San Francisco Bay Area.

Santa Cruz was my first and longest stop in what has now become my American relocation saga. While its natural beauty wasn’t the reason behind my 10-hour Greyhound bus ride from Los Angeles, I can’t say that this same natural beauty wasn’t the reason why I stayed there the longest -- so far, at least, in my 8-year California adventure: from June 2004 to July 2009. (I have moved to three other cities up north since then.)

It gives you a feeling of being home. The small community vibe provides a sense of belongingness. There’s an air of warmth that makes you feel like you know every stranger you come across with. You feel safe whatever time of day or night, which offers tourists and residents alike an unobstructed opportunity to enjoy every wonderful thing about Santa Cruz. When you’re going, don‘t miss the …

Natural Bridges State Park

This beach, with its famous natural bridge, is an excellent vantage point for viewing shore birds, migrating whales, and seals and otters playing offshore. Further along the beach, tidepools offer a glimpse of life beneath the sea. Low tides reveal sea stars, crabs, sea anemones, and other colorful ocean life. The park also includes a large area of coastal scrub meadows, with bright native wildflowers in the spring. Moore Creek flows down to the ocean through these meadows, forming a wetlands in the sand. (California Department of Parks and Recreation)

Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk

The Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk is recognized as the best seaside park in the world. Its vibrant, bustling amusement park is renowned for its great rides, remarkable history, spectacular beach setting, and friendly attitude. The Boardwalk features more than 34 rides and attractions including two National Historic Landmarks: the world-famous 1924 Giant Dipper wooden roller coaster and the beautiful 1911 Looff Carousel.

Mystery Spot

Supernatural gabble gushes from the house of illusions in Santa Cruz known as the Mystery Spot. There, balls roll uphill, chairs sit on walls and people lean over so far they can't see their shoes, yet they don't fall down.

Pacific Avenue-Downtown Santa Cruz

Pacific Avenue is a pedestrian friendly strip that houses Downtown Santa Cruz. A 20-minute stroll from there to the beach, there‘s a lot to see and do on Pacific Avenue all day and night. Mostly it's a great people-watching center.

Forest of Nisene Marks
The park offers rugged semi-wilderness, rising from sea level to steep coastal mountains of more than 2,600 feet. Once the site of logging operations until the 1920s, visitors can still find evidence of logging operations, mill sites and trestles in the park. With over 30 miles of trails, hiking, jogging and biking are some of the activities to be enjoyed here. Picnic tables and barbecue pits are available. A trail camp is located six miles from the nearest parking lot. (California Department of Parks and Recreation)

Train Travel at its Finest

2012-06-29T15:40:00.002-07:00

Stuart Ponder aboard the California Zephyr in April 2008

Sometimes, what really makes a trip exciting is not the destination but the journey. So the thought of traveling down the state’s Central Valley aboard an American classic train car seemed more like a trip back into 20th century railroad heydays than a quick jaunt to middle California.

In the early morning of Apr. 12, a group of railroad enthusiasts gathered at Amtrak’s Jack London station in Oakland for the “Domes Down the Valley” locomotive excursion that ended in Bakersfield.

One of the passengers was Santa Cruz resident Stuart J. Ponder, who at the time was anything but a railroad fan -- much more a reluctant passenger.

The night before his first ever railroad excursion, Ponder packed an iPod and a couple of books which he said should help him kill time during the 16-hour roundtrip train ride that was to eat his Saturday away.

The iPod and reading materials never made it out of Ponder’s backpack. He was drawn to the railroad car the moment he laid eyes on it.

“The train car itself is an attraction rich in history,” he noted, referring to the California Zephyr -- one of the most prominent images in California’s contemporary history.

Once called the “Silver Lady,” the California Zephyr streamliner was inaugurated on Mar. 19, 1949 in front of the Pier 3 Ferry Building on the Embarcadero in San Francisco. It made its maiden trip the following day between San Francisco and Chicago, covering 2,525 miles that took 2.5 days to complete.

But the increasing popularity of air and bus travel in the early 1960s took its toll on the California Zephyr, which in 1962 slipped from being America’s Most Beautiful Train into a financial liability.

Twenty-one years later on Mar. 21, 1970, the “Silver Lady” made her last commercial run. Although almost all of her 77 cars remain in existence, many have been modified while others went into service on Mexican and Canadian railroads.

Two California Zephyr Vista Domes -- the Silver Solarium and the Silver Lariat -- have found themselves literally back on track beginning in the mid-1980s. Now, these Vista Domes are the only remaining California Zephyr cars in operation in the entire West Coast.

Completely restored by owner Roy Wullich, the Silver Solarium and the Silver Lariat now traverse the West Coast on railroad adventures organized by Trains Unlimited Tours, including the Apr. 12 excursion.

Inside the Silver Solarium, Ponder was enthralled by the half-elliptical lounge that was fittingly furnished with plush chairs. A curved staircase with illuminated clear Perspex handrails opens into a dining area upstairs, replete with antique snow-white linens from the original train.

With his books still neatly tucked inside his backpack, Ponder was drowned by the friendly social atmosphere inside the Silver Solarium where he met Trains Unlimited owner Chris Skow and his wife Debbie.

“My conversation with Chris and Debbie, who actually got married in this train in December, quickly became so engaging I ceased noticing the hilly California landscape passing by and the punctuation of our motion by stops and side tracks,” said Ponder.

Ponder describes the service inside the train -- where breakfast, lunch and dinner were served -- as first class, friendly and respectful. The train personnel are career railroad employees each with decades of experience.

“Drinks are unlimited. So as long as you remain courteous, theoretically you can drink yourself under the table, gratis. Too bad the train won't stop at your door,” said Ponder.

Skow said the excursion mirrored the railroad trip aboard the original California Zephyr, including the service that was considered the best in North America between 1949 and 1970.

“We provide our own onboard staff including our chef and make up our own gourmet menus for all meals. All drink and food is included in the ticket price from the time you step onboard until you detrain,” said Skow. “This is passenger train travel at its finest.”

(Note: Originally published at MC Post on April 29, 2008)

When to NOT Call Someone a Friend

2012-06-13T09:15:00.000-07:00

Gone were the days when “friend” was a label so sacred you don’t call someone who sits across from your office desk or someone you share the same lunch hours with a friend. The word has become a loosely-used term for anyone people have very little actual or virtual interaction with.

The word has become more meaningless with the advent of social networks such as Friendster (RIP), MySpace (RIP), and Facebook. Anyone and everyone has dishearteningly become a so-called friend. Twitter, at least calls them “followers“.

Then there lives a group of endangered species that persistently believes in the sanctity of the word. They refuse to use the word in reference to someone who isn’t really one. Just a thought …

1. Someone you chit-chat with at the office isn’t a friend

2. Someone who comes to you to backstab another person who you happen to have had a little rift with is not a friend
3. Someone you share the employee lounge table with during lunch breaks isn’t a friend
4. Someone you smoke with at the designated NO SMOKING area outside while clocked-in at work isn’t a friend
5. Someone who pets your dog as you pass by isn’t a friend
6. Someone on Facebook whom you have no interaction with except to exchange gaming gifts isn’t a friend

An article on about.com suggests that friends are people who:

1. Care about you

2. Haven’t betrayed you
3. Make time for you
4. You enjoy spending time with

As I have proudly confessed, there’s only a handful of people I call friends as much as there’s only a handful of people who can call me a friend. My friendship isn’t something I can and will give out in a heartbeat. Friendship, to me, isn’t a relationship; it’s a commitment.

It's A Happy Day

2012-06-05T08:57:00.001-07:00

There are times when you just feel good about something you‘re clueless about. I rarely wake up on the right side of the bed but today I did. There’s just something in the morning air that’s making me feel cheerful. There’s beauty in everything I see.

Being cut on I-5 which would usually make me flip a bird went by without drawing out an angry reaction. The people who show up at work and do nothing but smoke outside and chit-chat normally grind my gears. Today, I don’t care what they do (more like don‘t do). I know they’re there but today they are benign -- at least to me.

Today started a beautiful day and I intend to end it the same lovely way.

Unfiltered Lens

2012-05-29T09:16:00.003-07:00

The Annular Solar Eclipse of May 20, 2012 wasn't only a spectacular experience, it also brought happy childhood memories, particularly that of the 1986 total solar eclipse that I watched with my high school buddies at the Golden Valley Academy in San Jose Del Monte, Bulacan, Philippines.

Battle of the Pockets

2012-05-25T11:37:00.000-07:00

In one of our nasty online arguments, my sister gave me a mouthful about my being financially-challenged. I have been living in California for over eight years now, during such time almost never without an income, but have yet to make substantial savings or an amazing purchase like a real estate property.

Hell, I can’t even take overseas vacations -- even to my native Philippines -- without her generous assistance. The four times I flew from California to the Philippines and back, not one of my roundtrip airfare was paid for by my severely malnourished bank account. It is just impossible for me to vacation on my own without coming back to headache-inducing financial woes such as monthly bills for utilities, rent, car, and insurance. Add to that, lost income because I get 80 hours of paid leave at most plus it’s not practical to fly about 7,000 miles and cross more than 5 time zones from California to Manila for a 14-day stay.

I got to thinking about this when a discussion ensued this morning with a coworker who, incidentally, harbors the same sentiment. Manong Lino told me its been very difficult to make his Philippines-based relatives to understand (believe) that life is not all that rosy in the United States and that money isn’t as easy to find here as what majority of our kababayans back home think.

The problem is they compare immigrants with overseas Filipino workers, quips Manong Lino. There’s a huge way of life difference between the two. Overseas Filipino workers have government-regulated employment contracts that mostly cover cost-free or subsidized housing, transportation, health insurance and, to some extent, meals. These contracted freebies practically make overseas Filipino workers’ paychecks free from the shackles of living costs.

It’s a whole different story for immigrants. They practically enjoy no labor-related protection from the Philippines government. They have to pay for their own transportation, healthcare, food, and housing, as well as for every little cost associated with these. And these living costs eat up every rusted penny in every immigrant’s biweekly paycheck.

Single-mom Adyang, for instance, uses her mid-month paycheck for groceries, car insurance, medical bills, phone bills and other incidentals; her month-end paycheck -- almost all of it -- goes to pay the rent. Whatever little money left is what she divides between her and her daughter’s other needs and the financial needs of her Dad and siblings in Manila.

Those who vacation in the Philippines and act as if they have unlimited source of greenbacks are either just show-offs who work two jobs and max out their credit cards to live a pretentious life in Manila for a month or they really have unlimited source of income. The latter is a very, very miniscule group.

Then, there’s the third group where I shamelessly belong. This group of destitute immigrants vacation in the Philippines with subsidies. Mine comes from my very generous sister Malou; my understanding friends Star and Ivar also don’t mind picking the tab.

Let it be known that I am now anxiously waiting for this year’s invite.

Best Fake Friends

2012-04-18T17:00:00.002-07:00

Whoever says life is unfair is mistaken. It isn’t perfect, yes, but it is fair, all right. It just doesn’t give someone everything he could wish for. I realize that now but I don’t think it would stop me from, in the future, whining about my perceived miseries and injustice.

Right this moment, though, I’d like to semi-bask in the glory of my blessings.

I am blessed to have people who truly care and have constantly exhibited how much they care about me. I am blessed to have seen early on the true colors of those who are friends with me only because they need something from me. That’s one of the main reasons why I only have a handful of friends I hang around with. And I don’t use the word “friend” loosely. It’s a sacred thing; its use as an adjective to describe someone should be regulated.

Carol is a friend. Ivar is a friend. Star is a friend. Lindablue is a friend. Edison and his family are friends. Terri and her family are friends. Franco is a friend. Cher is a friend. I’ve got a few more colleagues and college friends that are my friends and, although our interaction is so far confined within the walls of Facebook, I am sure that the friendship transcends beyond liking and commenting on status updates. Some people at work are potentially friends but they’re not there yet. Getting there, but not quite there yet.

My gears grind frantically when people call others they make chismis with friends. They grind hysterically when I see people call others BFFs then talk behind their backs, Yeah, they’re Best Fake Friends. It’s not my nature to hide what I feel. I don’t clip my disappointments and frustrations. I don’t sugar-coat my disgust. If I have something to say to someone, I say it to their face. If the message didn’t come in words, it’s because my action speaks louder.

My transparency is often mistaken as attitude. Some people would rather have you fake a smile then stab them in the back. It’s not my style. You’ll know when you grind my gears. You’ll just know. I always make sure people know.

I am a friend material, not a BFF.