Build Your Life To Order (tm)

Build Muscle, Lose Fat, Look Great!

Mark McManus — Tue, 06 Nov 2007 17:35:38 +0000

Announcing my new site - MuscleHack.com A new blog dedicated solely to helping you attain the body you desire. Whether youre male or female and whether your goal is to Build Muscle Lose fat Attain six pack abs Youll find the answers at MuscleHack I know a lot of my subscribers here were particularly interested in my fitness and bodybuilding articles so I recommend that you subscribe to the musclehack feed and continue reading there. This blog will no longer deal with that genre of Personal Development. I look forward to seeing you there and hearing your comments and suggestions. Also, dont be too shy to ask any questions you need answers to. Your friend on your journey to a better body, Mark McManus

What is Personal Development?

Mark McManus — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 21:55:47 +0000

I was tagged recently by Gleb Reys at Personal Development.ie Gleb wants me to answer one question, What is Personal Development? So here goes.. To me Personal Development is the pursuit of continual personal growth. Growth, of course, can be in any area of your life. Obviously a big department in my life is physical improvement i.e. I love to workout and learn about healthy nutrition. I strive daily to build muscle and lose fat, I just love watching the results unfold before my eyes. Other areas of Personal Development I actively pursue include: Law of Attraction Thought Control / Spiritual Time Management Productivity Creativity Learning New Technical skills e.g. HTML or internet marketing Creativity for me is a big one. For me this is the task of finding out how I can better serve people. Theres no such thing as a free lunch! If you want to receive, you must first give. Recently I have been intently focusing upon serving others. One manifestation of this is my new website MuscleHack.com. I am passionate about helping others get the body of their dreams. If you want to build muscle or lose fat go to that website today. Creativity has also brought new projects on the horizon for me, I can hardly contain them all " As you can tell Im very excited about it! I have ideas for products that I will be releasing in the near future. Creativity rules! So Im in a continual uphill spiral of Personal Development. The thing is, once you start this journey, theres no stop. I know I wont ever arrive anywhere and be finished, thats not how Personal Development works. I am an eternal being in an infinitely abundant universe. Therell never be an end to the growth, thats Personal Development to me. Mark McManus

Another ‘Secret’ Hypocrite

Mark McManus — Sun, 30 Sep 2007 16:34:31 +0000

You have to love so-called experts who ‘teach’ the Law of Attraction but only seem to think it applies to them when things are going well. After Esther Hicks seemed to dodge responsibility for being edited out of ‘The Secret’, it is now David Schirmer’s turn to play the victim. He has allegedly been found out as a scammer in an Australian current affair program. It’s such as same as many of us in the Personal Development community love ‘The Secret’. We believe in its principles even though a lot of us can see that some important aspects of the Law of Attraction were omitted. I don’t want to fill this post with embedded videos from youtube so here’s the links to the TV program. David Schirmer part 1 David Schirmer part 2 David Schirmer part 3 Okay, to me it’s actually quite hard to watch David squirm as he scrambles to find ways to defend himself. However, it is actually his own video response which does the most damage. He contradicts himself over and over. He says he is passionate about spreading the news about how we can attract things into our lives. Apparently his motive in doing the interviews was to spread this message (nothing to do with getting more seminar attendees and investors ). WPvideo 1.10 10:51 download this video The law indeed is perfect and unchanging, it’s what you do with it that matters. The same power that grows a seed into a plant, will bring your thoughts into objective manifestation. The law of attraction doesn’t care what type of seed you plant, that part is up to you. The seeds in your mind i.e. your thoughts, will sooner or later produce a harvest according to their own kind. The conclusion therefore is strikingly simple; to live a good life, think good thoughts, think thoughts of happiness and harmony. In order to experience discord, think discordant thoughts, seek to manipulate others and rip them off. David Schirmer here is not a victim, such a thing would not be possible and so his knowledge of the law is lacking. This said, we all have taken short-cuts in our lives. We all have sought, at one time or another, to take advantage of others to our own benefit. Schirmer, playing on a bigger stage than most of us, has unfortunately succumbed to temptation and has suffered a very public fall. Karma takes care of itself and so we can and should let the man get on with his life and work through it himself. My only hope is that he learns to accept responsibility and change himself in order to change the outer picture. If he continues to play the victim, he will surely be attracting more unpleasant experiences to himself. As far as I’m concerned, all is forgiven and I wish him all the prosperity and happiness in the world. Mark McManus

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How to Develop Understanding - Fast!

Mark McManus — Sun, 23 Sep 2007 10:21:42 +0000

We humans fight a lot with each other. We fight because we disagree, feel threatened or feel like we have been hurt by someone else. This article explores the notion that all this is nonsensical when placed in the correct context. When we understand each other at a deep level it becomes literally impossible to judge and therefore relatively easy to understand the other person’s subjective world. If we can get to this place in our consciousness, our own world will become a more serene and joyful place to be. (Please note that the author doesn’t claim to ‘live in this place’ 24/7 but he gets better all the time ). Why do you think the way you do? Where do all the beliefs and values that you hold on to come from? If you can answer these questions then you can understand that your world view is simply one of many and in no way is it an objective way of seeing things. That’s not to say that none of your beliefs are true in an absolute sense, they could be, but even this doesn’t excuse aggressive or argumentative behavior towards those who haven’t acquired this truth. The vast majority of the world’s population, however, never take a look at themselves long enough to even inquire about their own scripting in the first place. With this fact established, fighting and even full-blown wars are to be expected as normal in such a world. It all boils down to a lack of understanding. The Programs in our Minds There is a great analogy that I feel is quite fitting here. If we take a computer for example, here we have the hardware and the software. The hardware being the physical component parts, the software being the programs installed on the hard drive. If we run the installed programs the computer performs a certain operation mostly, if not totally, on autopilot. We can also close a program or uninstall it entirely. Now to the human. We have a physical make-up too i.e. our hardware with many different component parts. Our mind is the hard drive and our programs are installed in the subconscious part of that mind. Like software we are running and closing these programs all the time and the bad news is, a lot of the time we don’t even like them. For example, take the woman who gets nervous in a crowd of people. The external stimuli has triggered a program in her mind, her ‘Nervous/ Inferiority’ program. Another person in this same situation might get excited about meeting new people, they are running an entirely different program. External events have absolutely no meaning in themselves, we first give them a meaning and then our behaviors reflect this meaning. How did our Programs get Installed? So how exactly did we each end up owning the programs that we do? We started forming our beliefs and values from a very early age. It is a common belief today that children up to the age of 6 are operating out of the subconscious / unconscious part of their mind entirely. This means that they are like a dry sponge soaking up everything that they see around them and forming a personality that will largely reflect their environment. If, for example, a young child constantly sees aggression and hatred in their daily life, it is very likely that they will adopt these traits themselves as it sees them as the norm and probably necessary to get through life. They might accept the belief that you have to constantly ‘fight your corner’ in life, or that ‘life is a battle a day.’ On the other hand, if a child that is surrounded by loving people, outwardly showing affection for each other, it is very likely that this child will grow into a person of the same ilk. There are a multitude of programs that are installed in our minds that are limiting and destructive. These can have their root in your childhood, from school, parents, your church, work colleagues or any other social/peer group. The thing is, many of these limiting beliefs might seem ridiculous to you now consciously. I personally used to hold very limiting beliefs around money, spirituality and relationships amongst others. Imagine how a belief that says, “If a girl isn’t possessive of you, it means she doesn’t love you” would affect you and those closest to you. Or, “All relationships are constant hard work and will end in a mess someday”. What could one expect to be the outcome of holding such beliefs? Take jealousy as an example, jealousy is absolutely pathetic and needs to be eradicated from your consciousness as soon as possible. An examination of it will probably lead you to the conclusion that it is based upon a ‘Lack Mentality.’ “There’s only so much to go around and we must fight in competition with each other to get our share!” - such a limiting, destructive belief yet almost all of us were offered this belief from an early age and we accepted it as true, much to our disadvantage. How do these Programs affect us? Our beliefs, values and references have the power to limit us severely or liberate us completely, it just depends upon the content. They act as a filter for what we experience externally and determine the meaning we give to the events of our life. The meaning then determines our behavior. Because we all have different ways of filtering our experience and determining meaning, disagreements and tensions are inevitable. Take, for example, the horrific terrorist actions of 9/11. The vast majority of the world was hurt and saddened by the events of that day. Some people, though, saw it as a cause for celebration, a great victory - why? Simply because their perceptual filters gave it that meaning. The Self-Actualized Programmer I’m not asking anyone to feel compelled to like other people’s subjective take on the world but when we begin to understand the ‘why’ behind who they are, we become understanding people. Those rare individuals in the world that have stood apart from their own programming and consciously amended it to their own liking and benefit are what Abraham Maslow referred to as the ‘Self-Actualized.’ A Self-Actualized person is a true creator of their own reality. They are those people who have gone from believing that they themselves were their programming, to realizing that they are, in fact, the programmer. If you understand and believe what I have just said, you will find it increasingly difficult to ever feel anger, resentment, disgust or anything like this for another human being again. True, these self-destructive emotions do not fade away overnight but you will never be able to judge in the same manner in which you once might have. Understanding and compassion are inevitable once you accept this truth. The world is billions of people with unique filters creating their own subjective viewpoint. They then seek out others with similar filters to bond with whilst avoiding those people with conflicting ones, in extreme cases hating or even killing them. Most of the world is presently asleep, simply running programs and finding fault with each other. Self-actualization will bring all this to an end. Mark McManus

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My Total Six-Pack Abs Program Update

Mark McManus — Tue, 11 Sep 2007 19:32:03 +0000

As many of you have noted from past articles, I am in the process of writing a ‘how to get six-pack abs‘ book. I haven’t decided on the title yet but I just wanted to write a little post giving you guys an update. I had originally hoped to get it published for the end of July but the more research I do, the more I want to include. I want to give you as full a guide as possible. I would estimate that I am about 40% of the way completed at the moment so I still have a lot of work to do. I am now shooting for before Christmas this year and am confident I can hit that target. Rest assured that this will not be another gimmicky ‘4-minute abs’ program but a dependable, scientifically verifiable method for sculpting six-pack abs and keeping you lean for life! Basically, there are 2 main aspects to building six-pack abs: Diet (Nutrition) Exercise (The Workouts) Nothing new there but this book will be a full, practical guide to take you from Day 1 to the day when you can step in front of the mirror with your abs gleaming What I mean by that is that you will know exactly what to eat, when to eat it, what’s in it and even how to cook it! I’ve included some delicious recipes that I’ve created myself to help you achieve your goals. You will also know what exercises to perform, how many reps, how many sets, what days to exercise and when to rest. I will also include logs for you to chart your exercise and body measurements. Get this, I will even include a shopping list for you to take to the store with you and tick off your items as you go along - no more confusion over what items to buy in order to follow a diet properly. Believe me I want to make this as complete as humanly possible, I’ll leave no stone unturned! I’ll touch on the science of the nutritional / diet aspect of the program too but the book will not be centrally focused on this but rather the practical ‘how-to’ to achieving your goal of six-pack abs. Now, the other purpose of this post is market research. Please take this opportunity to let me know if there is anything you would like to have included in the program - anything at all. Whether it’s something to do with diet or exercise or something as simple as layout, graphical illustrations - anything that comes to mind that you might think could improve the program or make it more complete. Please leave your comments below. Mark McManus

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I’m Temporarily Out-of-Action

Mark McManus — Sat, 01 Sep 2007 18:36:33 +0000

Just letting you all know that I haven’t disappeared off the face of the planet. I’m having some problems with my broadband connection which apparently won’t be rectified until Wednesday the 5th September 2007 so sorry for the absence of posts in the past few days and I’ll be back next week! Mark McManus

Personal Development Blog List

Mark McManus — Sun, 26 Aug 2007 17:09:50 +0000

Priscilla Palmer started what has now become an extensive list of great Personal Development blogs. I am honored to be a part of it. All my favorite blogs are already included but here’s 3 more which have slipped through the net Carlon Haas at Possess Less Exist More Gyanish at Diet Hack Enoch Tan at Mind Reality These will be added to the existing list below. So many blogs, so little time Aaron Potts at Today is That Day Adam Kayce at Monk at Work Al at 7pproductions.com Alan Torres at Made to Be Great Alexander Kjerulf at The Chief Happiness Officer Alex Shalman at AlexShalman.com Albert Foong at urbanmonk.net Andrea J. Lee at Money, Meaning, and Beyond Andy Wibbels at AndyWibbels.com Ask Lucid at Ask Lucid Spiritual Development Anita Pathik Law at Power of four Way Antonio Thornton at AntonioThornton.com Belle Wong at Abundance Journal Blogfuse at LifeDev Brad Isaac at Achieve It Brian Clark at Copyblogger Brian Kim at briankim.net Bob at everyeveryminute Christine Kane at ChristineKane.com Clyde at Feeling Good Conceive, Believe, Achieve at Conceive, Believe, Achieve Craig Harper at Motivational Speaker Curt Rosengren at Occupational Adventure Damian Carr at Soul Terminal Daniel Sitter at Idea Sellers Dave Schoof at Engaging the Disquiet David Rogers at How to Have Great Self Confidence David Seah at David Seah.com Dawud Miracle at dmiracle.com Dean Lacono at Law of Attraction for Beginners Debbie Call at Spirit In Gear Des Walsh at Thinking Home Business Dick Richards at Come Gather Round Donald Latumahina at Life Optimizer Donna Karlin at Perspectives Dr. Charles Parker at The Core Psych Blog Dr. Hal at Northstar Mental fitness blog Drew Rozell at Drew Rozell.com Edward Mills at Evolving Times Emmanuel Lopez at The Adventures of Motivatorman Frank Kanu at Frank Uncovers Excellence in Leadership Ellesse at Goal Setting College Eric Napier at Quotation Collection Guy Kawasaki at How to Change the World Gleb Reys at Personal Development Ideas Grayson at Modern Worker Blog Gretchen Rubin at Happiness Project Gustav at Success-is-in-you.com Don Simkovich at Hey Don Hilda Carroll at Living Out Loud Henrik Edberg at The Positivity Blog Honman at Open Your Mind to Prosperity Inkedmn at The Cranking Widgets Blog Itzy Sabo at Email Overloaded Jacklyn Ker at Inspiring and Empowing Lives Jason and Michael at Black Belt Productivity Jason Ivers at A Miracle a Day Jay White at dumb little man tips for life Jean Browman at Transforming Stress Into Power and Cheerful Monk Jeff Lilly at Druid Journal Jeffrey Phillips at Think Faster Jennifer at Goodness Graciousness Jeremiah Owyang at Web Strategy by Jeremiah Jerry Hart at Blue Print to emarketing Jerry Lopper at Personal Growth Joanna Young at Coaching Wizardry John Pratt at John Pratt International John Place at John Place Online John Wesley at Pick The Brain Josh Bickford at Reach For Magnificence and Reach for Magnificence Julia Rogers Hamrick at Julias Blog: Journal of the Journey Home to Eden Kailani at An Island Review Kammie Kobyleski at Passion Meets Purpose Karen at Journey with Water Learner Karen Lynch at Live The Power Karen Wallace at The Clearing Space Karl Staib at Karl Staib.com Kevin Kinchen at Creative Power of Thought Killeris at Attitude, The Ultimate Power Kim and Jason at Escape Adulthood Kim George at Doing What You Can Do Kirsten Harrell at Ipopin K.L. Masina at Be Conscious Now Leah Maclean at Working Solo Laura Young at The Dragon Slayers Guide to Life Lee Nutter at bmindful Leo Baruta at Zen Habits Life Reflection at Universe in a Single Atom Lisa Gates at Design Your Writing Life Liz Strauss at Successful Blog Lola Fayemi at Real World Spiritual and Personal Development Lorraine Cohen at Powerfull Living Lyman Reed at Creating a Better Life Maddy at Illuminated Minds Want to Know Maria Palma at The Good Life Mark at The Naked Soul Mark Forster at Get Everything Done Mark McManus at Build Your Life To Order Mark W Shead at Productivity 501 Martin Avis at Kickstart Daily Matthew Cornell at Matts Idea Blog Merlin Mann at 43 Folders Michelle Moore at Happiness Blog Michael Port at The Think Big Revolution My Everyday Planner at My Everyday Planner Nancy Tierney at Unconditional Confidence Neil Patel at Quick Sprout Nick Smith at Life 2.0 Nneka at Balanced Life Center Organize-It at Organize-It Pamala Slim at Escape From Cubicle Nation Pamm Larry at My Spiritual Dance Patricia Singleton at Spiritual Journey of a Lightworker Paul at Pauls Tips Peter at I Will Change Your Life Peter Aldin at Great Circle Phil Gerbyshak at Make It Great Priscilla Palmer at Personal Development Demands Success Raymond Salas at Zenchill Powertools Reg Adkins at ElementalTruths Rick Cockrum at Shards of Consciousness Rick Cooper at The PDA Pro Ririan at Ririanproject Rob at 7Breaths Rob Cooke at Leave the Office Robert at Compassionate Council Robyn McMaster at Brain Based Biz Rosa Say at Managing With Aloha Coaching Ryan Marle at The Alpha Project S.J. Yee at Personal Development for the Book Smart Sam at Aquire Wisdom and Live with Passion Scott Adams at The Dilbert Blog Scott Bernadot at Keeping The Secret Scott Ginsberg at Hello, My Name Is Blog Scott H Young at Scott H Young Self Pursuit at Self Pursuit Shauna Arthurs at Breathing Prosperity and Follow Your Path Shaheen Lakhan at GNIF Brain Blogger Simone and Mandy at Outfit Inspirations Slade Roberson at Shift Your Spirits Sleeping Dude at How to Wake Up Early Spike at Organize It Stephanie and Jeffrey at Brains on Purpose Steve Olson at Steve-Olson.com Steve Pavlina at stevepavlina.com Steven Aitchison at Change Your Thoughts Surjit at Gurushabad Susan Sabo at Productivity Cafe Ted Demopoulos at Blogging For Business Thom Quinn at Qlog Tim Ferris at 4-Hour Workweek and Lifestyle Design Blog Tom Spanton at TRCoach Tim Taylor at My Agapic Life Tony D Clark at Success From The Nest Torlink at You Create Reality Travis Wright at Cultivate Greatness Trizoko at Trizoko.com Trevor Gay at Simplicity is the Key Troy Worman at Orbit Now! Tupelo Kenyon at Tupelokenyon.com Vickie at Contemplate This Wan Qi at Meditation Forum Mantras WildBill at PassionateBlogger and these collaborated sites: Did I Get Things Done GTD Wannabe Life Coaches Blog Stratagies for a Greater Life Lifehack.org Who knew Personal Development blogging was so big!? Anyway I’m happy to be part of the family.

What do you Think this Blog is about?

Mark McManus — Sat, 25 Aug 2007 13:23:13 +0000

I’ve been tagged by Lyman Reed at ‘Creating a Better Life.’ Basically Lyman would like me to give a little comment on what I think his blog is about. Like the others that have commented so far I feel there are two main areas of focus on ‘Creating a Better Life‘, they are: (1) Finding and sharing Personal Development Resources with the rest of us. (2) Relating Personal Development insights to real life. As I’ve commented on Lyman’s blog before, the personal development resources can add tremendous value to other people’s lives. I particularly enjoyed his link to a free copy of the Earl Nightingale audio program, ‘The Strangest Secret.’ Lyman also doesn’t seem to mind divulging some of his private life in an effort to share personal development strategies with us. Just recently he gave us a little tip on how to signal to family members that we are busy without offending them. He said, “So while there are no distractions from kids, my wife (who also spends much of her time here) and I can end up on top of each other quite frequently. While that can be fun ;), if Im in the middle of a writing session, its just too easy for her to call out from the bedroom Hey, did you hear about this on CNN? or Have you paid the gas bill?. And of course, theres always the dreaded Watcha doin? when she needs to get something from the kitchen.” This level of honesty and openness I feel makes Lyman’s articles easy and enjoyable to read. Keep it up Lyman. I would like also just like to take this opportunity to thank Lyman for making me feel welcome when I first started this personal development blog. Lyman was the first person to link to my site when I posted about the ‘7 Day Mental Diet.‘ He also sent me a little message to say ‘Hi’ when I first signed up to MyBlogLog. So Thank You Lyman, I don’t take that for granted! If anyone would like to comment on what you think ‘BuildYourLifeToOrder’ is about please feel free to in the comments box below! Thanks Mark McManus

Is Esther Hicks a Hypocrite?

Mark McManus — Wed, 22 Aug 2007 23:24:06 +0000

What I don’t understand here is how someone can teach a ‘Law’ and in the same breath talk as if it doesn’t apply to themselves. Esther Hicks got edited out of ‘The Secret‘ DVD which apparently caused her some hardship. This is the same woman who teaches that we attract everything in our experience - absolutely everything, no exceptions through the Law of Attraction. Firstly, for those who aren’t familiar with Esther Hicks, she’s the gal who claims to channel for a group of non-physical beings who call themselves “Abraham“. Okay, with that stated please watch the clip at the link below (sorry it’s not embeddable apparently). Esther Hicks / Abraham talks about being left out of ‘The Secret’ Video Analysis Just after the 4 minute mark, Esther / Abraham talks about the reason they were edited out of the documentary. It seems that Jerry and Esther would rather have held onto their Intellectual Property Rights and be edited out of ‘The Secret‘ rather than give them to Rhonda Byrne (Producer of ‘The Secret‘). This would allow Rhonda to market the movie in the manner she thought best. I think that’s fair for both parties and Esther answers the question in a dignified manner. A Different Tone Fast forward to 6 minutes 30 seconds, Esther / Abraham says, “What she did was not nice”. She, of course, is Rhonda Byrne. I don’t get it, didn’t Jerry and Esther attract this? If their version of the Law of Attraction is the correct one then they did attract this event into their experience and they, like they advise us, should take responsibility for it. From this point in the video onwards, it seems the claws come out. Esther says that Rhonda and her team have, once again, suppressed knowledge from the people instead of liberating them with the power of the Law of Attraction. This is because they have ‘left the non-physical part out.’ The non-physical part of ‘The Secret‘ is, of course, Abraham so Esther is saying that without Abraham people are ‘without guidance’ as to how to ‘deliberately create.’ I don’t agree with that. Plenty of people have completely changed their lives by applying the teachings of someone like Tony Robbins, with no notion of how they were ‘vibrating.’ They simply set goals and worked to achieve them. Was the Law of Attraction lining things up for them behind the scenes? Very possibly, I believe in the Law of Attraction but I also know that you don’t need to have ever heard of it for it to work. I guess that’s why they call it a Law, it’s functioning whether you are conscious of it or not -a bit like gravity. Conclusion Listen to the rest of the video yourself and draw your own conclusion. It appears to me that from 6.30 Esther / Abraham are speaking as a ‘Victim’ i.e. something happened to Esther. I thought she taught people that nothing could come into their experience unless they were in ‘Vibrational Harmony‘ with it. Perhaps there’s something I’m not getting, if you know what it is please comment below. Maybe Esther’s for real, maybe she’s a big phony. I don’t know for sure but from this video I can see why it would be very easy to draw the conclusion that all is not what it seems. EXTRA! Just noticed this as I was about to publish. In the video Esther is ‘channeling’ Abraham. When Abraham is speaking, he/she/it/they always refer to Esther in the third person i.e. ’she’ and to Jerry and Esther as ‘they’. In this clip I think ‘Abraham‘ makes a mistake. Go to 4 minutes 20 seconds in the clip. Abraham is successfully referring to Jerry and Esther as ‘they’ but all of a sudden says ‘..turn over our property rights’. Perhaps Abraham was taking a cut of the spoils too, he certainly deserves it for all the talks he gives. If Esther wasn’t sending royalty checks to Abraham vibrationally then what just happened? Who knows for sure but I won’t be rushing out to by her next book or attend a workshop. Mark McManus

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Speedlinking - 19 August 2007

Mark McManus — Sun, 19 Aug 2007 18:28:56 +0000

Evolvingtimes has had its one year anniversary carnival. Edward was kind enough to use one of my articles, ‘If the Law of Attraction is True, why was Jesus Crucified?‘ as one of the featured posts - thank you very much indeed! Donald Latumahia has uniquely compared investing financially to the investment in knowledge in ‘How to Become a Millionaire of Knowledge.’ This is a great little read because it rings true. Applied knowledge really is power in today’s world and God knows there is no shortage of knowledge out there waiting for us. With correct knowledge you can Master any area of your life, from your body to your finances to your relationships. So as Donald says, build up your ‘Knowledge Bank Account‘ and start today! Over at Possess Less Exist More, Carlon Haas has posted an article I wholeheartedly agree with called, ‘How Changing your Appearance can Lead to Success and Positive Growth.‘ I have felt this way since I started to look at NLP for insights into effectiveness. Basically if you want to feel smart, dress smart - sporty, dress sporty. The reason I believe this to be is because of our neuro-associations to particular types of clothing. For example, we all associate smart, high-earning, effective people to a nice suit. It should therefore be obvious that dressing this way fires off the association in the brain and you then start to assume that role i.e. you enter into that ‘State.’ Thanks for this article Carlon, not everyone will agree with you on this but I think it’s self-evident. Steve Olson has asked, ‘Can you see yourself as Others Do?‘ This is great because we all have our own subjective perspective. Again in NLP lingo we say, “The map is not the territory.” The territory is external objectivity, the map is our own interpretation of that reality. No-one on this earth is ’seeing reality as it is‘ - NO-ONE. Steve says, “One of the most damaging weaknesses of the human species is our inability to see ourselves from another persons subjective viewpoint, which makes it difficult to understand what is really going on.” Boy is that ever true! Well done Steve for such an in-depth article. Mark McManus

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If the Law of Attraction is True, Why was Jesus Crucified?

Goals! - Where to Stick them!

Mark McManus — Sat, 18 Aug 2007 17:14:21 +0000

Goal-setting is the single most productive action you can take in pursuing a successful life (however you personally define success). The thing about setting goals, however, is that you can’t set them and forget them. They must be engraved into your mind so that your subconscious can get to work on them for you. Even if you have 10 goals at one time, you need to be able to rhyme them off the top of your head (including dates) in order to expect success. A Little bit of NLP This is because we all receive about two million pieces of data through our sensory channels each second. That’s a lot! We then delete, generalize and distort this information so that we only process seven (plus or minus two) ‘chunks’ of data, which comes to around 134 pieces per second. This means that out of everything that is happening, we only focus, and therefore only experience a very, very small portion of what’s actually going on around us. If you haven’t programmed your goals into your mind deep enough, your brain simply doesn’t know what to look out for and bring to your attention. If you have succeeded in anchoring your goals into your subconscious mind you will find that help is appearing everywhere! That’s right, the universe is conspiring to help you achieve your goals. I once heard that described as being paranoid in reverse! “Whoops, just found $20, there goes the universe trying to help me again!” 9 Ways to Program your Goals into you Subconscious Mind Okay, so it’s a given that we would all like to take advantage of this in order to ensure the attainment of our goals. So here goes, here’s 9 ways I have come up with to carve your goals the bark of your brain for good! 1. Put your Goals on your Computer’s Desktop - One of my favorite! I simply take a picture I like from the net, open it in image editing software like Photoshop or even Paint and write my goals onto it. Then when I choose this image as my desktop background I am confronted by my goals every time I’m on my computer (which is a lot! ) 2. Stick your Goals to a Mirror- Very simple. Whichever mirror you use most e.g. the one in the bathroom that you wash your face and brush your teeth in front of, that’s where your goals will go. You’ll then see your goals at least once in the morning and again at night. 3. Your desk at work - If you work in an office it makes sense to have your goals on cards or even taped to your desk. This, of course, only applies if you don’t mind others seeing them. 4. On your mobile phone - Edit your mobile phone background or screen saver to display your goals. You might only get one goal on there so make it a good one. 5. Stick your goals on your Notice Board - Some times referred to as a Dream Board by some Personal Development enthusiasts. Yes it’s very important to have a written version of your goals up beside all of those pictures. 6. Create a Vision Statement - If you still haven’t done this you are missing out. Add your goals to your vision statement to make it compelling. To find out how to make one see here. 7. The Ceiling of your Bedroom- This way your goals will be the first thing you see when you wake up. If you sleep on your side, put them on the wall beside you. It’s what Jack Canfield did with his goal for making $100,000 in a year. He achieved his goal and then went on to make a million (and millions more since). 8. Carry ‘Goal Cards’ - Write your goals on little cards and carry them in your pocket. When you’ve some free time simply take them out and read them. Even if the only free time you get at work is when you’re ‘dropping the kids off at the pool’ - use it! What else are you going to look at in this situation anyway? 9. Create Neuro-Associations - If you know your goals, you don’t need to physically see them to be reminded of them. You can easily create an association for any goal to any object. Let’s say that you want to earn $70,000 this year, you can repeat the goal over and over again while looking at your car keys or even visualizing them. Then state, “Every time I see my car keys I will know that I will earn $70,000 by December 31 2008.” The association will stick and you won’t be able to pick up your car keys without re-enforcing your goal. If any of you guys use any methods for implanting your goals into your mind please let me know. Mark McManus

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My Interview over at Diethack.com

Mark McManus — Tue, 14 Aug 2007 21:45:43 +0000

I have been interviewed by Gyanish Gungaram over at Diethack.com. The interview is solely about diet and fitness. Here are the 7 questions posed by Gyanish: (1) Hi Mark. Thanks a lot for being my first interviewee. Is that your picture on Build Your Life To Order? (2) Can you give us some background on yourself? How did you get started in fitness and dieting? (3) What qualities do you feel a dieter needs to have reach his/her goals? (4) After how much time did you get the results you wanted? Was it easy for you? (5) Describe your current training program? (6) What role do you feel supplements have in developing a great physique? Which ones do you use, and why? (7) I see you relate spirituality to dieting and fitness. Can you give us a reason why you embrace this mindset? Here’s a brief excerpt from the interview. When asked what qualities a dieter needs in order to achieve success, I replied: “As with all other goals in life, the same formula is applied. I formulated this process from reading tons of personal development material over the years and applying it to my own life. First, of course, you must clearly define what it is you want i.e. a target weight, waist size, body fat percentage, six-pack abs. That’s step 1 - easy!Secondly, I feel that in order to have something, we must first be something. So if you want to become a millionaire you must first internalize the millionaire’s mindset. In this case you must adopt the mindset of the type of person who already has the type of body you want. You might do this by learning everything you can about this person, finding out what makes them tick and adopting their values and their beliefs as your own. Once you embed this into your subconscious mind, the steps you must take to reach your goal seem much easier and more natural. For example you wouldn’t dare skip a workout or eat fast food for the hell of it, it actually becomes natural to work out consistently and make healthy food choices. In Neuro-Linguistic Programming this is called ‘Role Modeling’ and is highly effective. You don’t need to re-invent the wheel, model others and achieve the same results they did. Changing the content of your subconscious mind can be a tough process but here is an article I wrote that will help readers do this quite quickly and with little effort.” There are 2 more steps to this success formula. When asked about my training regime, I said: * Monday - Biceps and Triceps * Tuesday - Shoulders and back * Wednesday - Chest & Abs * Thursday - Legs 4 - 8 reps per set. 6-9 sets per body part. That’s it, nothing too complicated. I stick to the basic moves like bench press, dumbbell curls, sit-ups with added resistance - these should constitute the core of your workouts. I have yet to write an article about my cardio routine but again it’s simple. 5 - 7 days per week at present I perform 20 - 40 minutes cardiovascular training. I use a cross-trainer for this or I go out cycling or jogging. The only important thing to me is that I try to beat the calories burned at each session. So please go check out the full interview and also consider subscribing to the DietHack feed. Mark McManus

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Speedlinking - 12 August 2007

Mark McManus — Sun, 12 Aug 2007 16:53:16 +0000

Great articles I think you should check out this week are: Weight-Loss Bullshit. More straight-talking by Craig Harper. Craig discusses the psychology of losing weight. This, of course, is primary. What method of diet and exercise you use always comes after you’ve adopted the correct mindset necessary for losing weight. This is congruent with my own theory of achievement which states that: First - Decide what you want Secondly - Adopt the mindset of those who already have what you want Third - Get into the detail. Find and attract the ‘how’ necessary for your goal’s achievement. This will seem a lot easier now that you’ve actually become the right type of person. See this article for ways to actually change your mindset. Fourth -Act! Just do it. Never Forget to Focus on your Body along with your Mind by Brian Kim. Naturally this article resonated with me as I advise people to do just this. The body isn’t something to be ignored at the expense of the mind. A person who has the will power, determination and desire to continually improve their body through exercise and healthy nutritional choices is much more likely to be the type of person to improve their life in any area they choose. Thanks for getting the message across Brian! Abel Cheng of Parent Wonder has posted ‘7 Ways to make Exercise fun’ at Scott H Young’s blog. All solid advice, I would add ‘Strap on your iPod and crank it up!’ to the list though. Top 10 Reasons why Constant Complaining is so Toxic in the Workplace. Nice article by Alexander Kjerulf at Chief Happiness Officer. We all know people like this from our own workplace experience. They create a bad atmosphere and soon enough they alienate everyone except those that are just like them. Do NOT become one of these people in your workplace, simply refuse to join in with the negativity that sometimes flows through the work environment. One of the most Important Types of Selling you will do in your Life. Another article by Brian Kim. It’s true that we are our own biggest critics. Why not turn our self-probing into convincing ourselves how capable and intelligent we are. NLP guru’s tell us that this is the way to go.Why? Because it works. Ideas, creativity, enthusiasm and passion will only start to flow through you once you can convince yourself that you can and should have these qualities. Lyman Reed has posted a great link-fest to free Personal Development audio and video amongst which is the free audio program of Earl Nightingale’s ‘The Strangest Secret’. This is great stuff and the links are very much appreciated. Thanks to all of the above for their great work in keeping us educated and entertained. Mark McManus

I’ll be Back!

Mark McManus — Thu, 19 Jul 2007 15:42:24 +0000

Hi everyone, long time no blog! Well I’ve been busy with other things recently and my mind hasn’t been on the upkeep of this blog. However, I plan on getting back to regular blogging week commencing 6 August 2007. I think I’ll write less often but longer, more in depth articles - they seem to be most popular with my readers. If you have any suggestions feel free to comment or email me in the meantime. You can recommend article topics or anything to do with the site. Thanks and see you soon! Mark McManus

Diet Coke with Stevia - What’s the Freakin’ Hold-up?

Mark McManus — Wed, 20 Jun 2007 20:20:20 +0000

Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to have a coke without all the sugar but also with out having to ingest anything artificial? Well, in Japan they can. It’s Diet Coke flavoured with all-natural plant extract Stevia. I blogged about this product back in March ‘07 asking why it was banned? I still can’t figure it out. Anyway, I recently found out that Diet Coke in Japan is flavoured with this stuff and can’t help but wonder why it hasn’t reached our shores. I have a sneaking suspicion though that money is involved somewhere along the way. Companies that manufacture artificial sweeteners, such as Nutasweet’s horrible aspartame, are surely threatened by a natural, sugar-free alternative. It’s quite possible that money is exchanging hands between such companies and the agencies that assess the safety of their products. Anyway, it seems there is hope on the issue as I found this article from ‘USA Today’ which suggests that Coca-Cola is investing in tests with stevia (now being referred to as Rebiana) to come up with a formula for using it in it’s products - hooray! “Coca-Cola plans to use a new calorie-free sweetener in some of its products in other countries and is hoping at some point to get FDA approval to use it in its products in the United States. The push to develop the natural sweetener, which is being called rebiana, is a partnership between Atlanta-based Coca-Cola and privately held Cargill, the Wayzata, Minn.-based agribusiness. Coca-Cola will market and use the sweetener in unspecified products.” Well, this is certainly a step in the right direction and to be welcomed by all. For those of us who keep our sugar intake very low and who like to avoid artificial sweeteners as much as possible, this is great news. The sooner it’s available and people get off aspartame, the better for us all.

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Interview with Veronica Atkins

Mark McManus — Sat, 16 Jun 2007 10:31:38 +0000

Veronica Atkins is the wife of the late Dr. Robert C. Atkins, author of ‘The New Diet Revolution’. It’s good to know that she is carrying on his work and his vision. I found this interview at the ‘Low Carb Newsline‘ and wanted to share it with you. This dietary approach has helped millions around the world control their weight and is often used by fitness enthusiasts to strip their bodies of excess fat (like me!). This way of eating has taken a pounding in recent years but in I have noticed that within the last year or so, it has started to grow in popularity again as more and more independent studies confirm not only its effectiveness, but also its health benefits. This interview took place between Jimmy Moore of ‘Livin’ La Vida Low-Carb‘ and Veronica Atkins in May of 2007 and the full interview can be found here. Here I present what i feel to be the best excerpts from that interview, enjoy it. (This has been published with Jimmy Moore’s permission). (JM) Did Dr. Atkins have any idea this low-carb diet he stumbled upon decades ago would create such a ruckus? More importantly, did he ever really expect the Atkins diet to be fully embraced by the health and medical community? (VA) The short answer to both your questions is a resounding Yes. Bobby certainly didnt want to create a ruckus–he hated controversy–but he had no choice. He was ridiculed and alienated by his peers for pointing out that carbohydrate restriction is the single best strategy for treating excessive levels of insulin which leads to diabetes, obesity, hypertension, heart disease and even cancer. So, of course, he felt compelled to speak out. Certainly, he fully believed that the controlled-carb lifestyle would eventually be accepted as a healthy lifestyle choice. How could he not when he saw the evidence in his clinical practice every day where he could reverse Type 2 diabetes and prevent it in those who were at risk of developing it. My husband firmly believed that had mainstream medicine adopted his teachings, the public health crisis that we see today, where obesity and diabetes have reached epidemic proportions, could have been averted. (JM) That recent JAMA study out of Stanford University in March 2007 showing the Atkins diet was the best among four popular diets for weight loss and improved health after one year certainly gave a huge shot in the arm to the life’s work of your husband as interest in the low-carb approach has been rekindled. Do you see anything else coming up on the horizon in the next year or so from the realm of research, a new book, or even from the entertainment industry that could help continue the rebirth of the Atkins diet? (VA) Yes, that study was a wonderful validation of Dr. Atkins’ work and I feel certain it will spur many more. Certainly, it lends credence to all of the studies funded to date by the Atkins Foundation which showed similar results. Many of the initial studies funded by the Foundation have been completed and the results published. For a listing of articles already available, readers can look on the Atkins Foundations web site. Several of our investigators will be publishing their findings in the coming year. There is a large two-year NIH study comparing the Atkins diet with a low-fat diet and the results of that should be available this coming year as well. Gary Taubes, the journalist who wrote the eye-opening article in the New York Times magazine section is coming out with a wonderful new book clarifying much of the history and dogma about our current guidelines and recommendations. Also, an independent filmmaker named CJ Hunt is finishing a documentary called The Perfect Human Diet which chronicles the evolution of our dietary habits which should be a fascinating account of our eating habits and how they have changed. (JM) How did it make you feel when the downright malicious lies from anti-Atkins, anti-meat groups like the Physicians Committee For Responsible Medicine (PCRM) came out about your husband’s untimely death following a slip and fall on ice in New York City were plastered all over the news boldly and erroneously reporting that Dr. Atkins had died of a heart attack and was obese? If you could respond directly to those who make such allegations, what would you say to them? (VA) As you can imagine, it hurt me to the core. Id ask this group to try and see reason, put aside their agenda and tell the truth. Unfortunately the more I hear about this group, the more Im convinced that they are fanatics–unwilling and uninterested in seeking the truth. They certainly showed their true colors when they illegally obtained copies of Dr. Atkins medical records following his death and then leaked false information to the press claiming he was obese. When my husband was admitted to the hospital following his accident, he weighed 195 pounds–a healthy weight for a 6 2 tall man. The extra weight he gained during his hospital stay was due to an accumulation of body fluids related to his treatment and linked to organ failure. However, this group chose to distort the facts to suit their agenda, which is very disturbing indeed. Dr. Atkins had suffered from a heart condition called cardiomyopathy–which is a disease of the heart muscle caused in his case by a viral infection and was totally unrelated to his diet. He spoke openly about his condition and did a lot of research, publishing his findings to help others with this condition. (JM) What are the qualities you best remember him for and is there anything about the real Dr. Atkins that you wish people would never forget? (VA) I wish people knew how hard he fought to change things. Even though he knew that by speaking out he would be attacked and vilified by his detractors, he never wavered in his convictions. In his monthly newsletter, writings, radio show and media appearances over the years he spoke out about many of the issues that only now are making headlines: the dangers of trans fats, the over-prescribing of hormones, antibiotics, statin drugs, and the consumption of denatured foods such as white flour, sugar and high fructose corn syrup –which make up the majority of products that line our supermarket shelves–and their role in the obesity epidemic; he brought to light scientific evidence that heart disease is not caused by cholesterol when it was widely accepted that it was the #1 cause. He called to task some formidable opponents–the food companies, the pharmaceutical giants, the FDA, the ADA, and the AMA–and exposed their deceptive and in many cases dangerous practices. And he was instrumental in changing policy that led to the passing of patients rights bills. Id also like people to know that he was a brilliant clinician and diagnostician and not just a diet doc,” a label that stuck due to the phenomenal success of his Atkins Diet Revolution books. In his clinical practice, he treated a myriad of illnesses and succeeded in weaning patients off of their medications using diet and correcting nutritional deficiencies–something that gave him enormous satisfaction. He used the low-carb approach as the basis for all of his treatments. ****end of interview**** I think it’s great that Veronica is carrying on the work of her late husband. Not everyone wants to formulate their own opinions based on experience, some would rather buy into unfounded claims against carbohydrate restriction. Well all I can say, especially if you are overweight, is that it’s your loss. Seriously, if you would like to lose weight and feel good about yourself (and that’s the most important thing in the world), why not give it a try? You don’t have to go hungry and you’ll have some really tasty treats to enjoy. Do your own research, find some delicious recipes and watch the fat melt away. Get active and enjoy your own body! If you want to read the full version of this interview, go here. Also, check out Veronica’s own website for more on her important work. Thanks again to Jimmy to publish these excerpts. Mark McManus

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Losing Fat from your Problem Areas

Mark McManus — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 11:16:09 +0000

Everybody has those areas of their body they don’t like. For men it’s usually the abdomen, for women the ass. Attempting to burn more fat from these areas than others by targeting workouts on these areas is called ’spot reduction’ and has always been considered a myth. Basically, conventional wisdom has always said that in order to lose fat from one area of your body you have to lose it from all over with cardiovascular exercise. It was always seen as just wishful thinking that you could melt fat from your waist or butt without having to lose overall weight. Now a new study shows that spot reduction can and does occur! Spot Reduction Spot reduction basically says that if you want to lose fat from a specific body area, work the muscles around that area. So if you would like six-pack abs, work the abdominal muscles to target the fat on that area. I have to admit that I would have told you that this was rubbish myself until recently. Scientists from Denmark have just completed a study (Am J Physiol Endocrinol Metab. 292:E394-9, 2007) that has concluded that active muscles use the fat stores adjacent to them to fuel workouts - That’s great news! Bear in mind that this isn’t just during exercise but afterwards well. These hungry muscles require nutrients to recover from the battering they have just taken. This study was carried out using the thigh muscles of the participants and as we know that the legs can expend a huge amount of calories because of the sheer size of this muscle group, results would not be as dramatic for the midsection. However, this is a breakthrough in our understanding and should be welcomed especially by those wanting to lose fat from their problem areas, e.g. bum, midsection, legs, arms etc. So get crunching folks!

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How to Catch a Woman’s Eye

Mark McManus — Sun, 20 May 2007 17:22:19 +0000

Want to know how to catch a woman’s eye? Perhaps there is a particular woman that you you would like to have notice you. I recently read an interesting article in a magazine that had surveyed 100 women and asked them what they notice first in a man. These are the top ten results. It would be interesting to know what men thought of these and also if women agree with them and what their top ten would be. TOP TEN 1. Eyes (Clear, well rested) 2. Shoulders (Good muscles) 3. Skin (Well-scrubbed) 4. Hands (Clean, trimmed nails) 5. Posture (Straight and strong) 6. Hair (Not over fussed) 7. Smile (Healthy lips and teeth) 8. Bum (Nicely fitted jeans) 9. Face (Well-groomed) 10. Upper arms (Proportioned) Very interesting stuff! I personally wouldn’t have guessed that skin and hands would have ranked 3rd and fourth! Shows how much I know. So what do you think? Do you agree or disagree? Would you have ranked them differently? Mark McManus

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5 Tips for Great Abs

Mark McManus — Thu, 17 May 2007 16:17:40 +0000

Abs are the icing on the cake. They represent the peak of excellence in body conditioning. They do, however, remain elusive for the vast majority of the population. I believe this is due to the mythology that has grown up around them for so long. What is the best way to work them? Is diet important or can sit-ups alone produce a six-pack? Do I need equipment? Ill answer these by providing 5 tips for building great abs. . 1. The Mind Link Think and Feel like a person who already has great abs. Werent expecting that were you? Well, the psychological aspect of attaining a six-pack is as important as the physical. This one tip will ensure that you stick to the program and do not lose motivation. For this you should: Visualise the body you want regularly, make time for this mental exercise. Put posters up in places where youll see them regularly. Make a Dream Body Vision Statement. Buy the clothes that you will want when you have this body and look at them often. Write out a time-specific goal i.e. I will have 10% body fat by INSERT DATE.** Write out this goal EVERY DAY in the present tense i.e. I have a body fat level of 8%. Write it repeatedly when you get some free time **Giving a specific body fat level is an objective way of measuring your progress. If you want to see your abs, youll need to get a body fat of 10% or less, remember that figure. You can buy equipment that will measure your body fat quite cheaply. See here. 2. Keep it Simple As for the workouts, these can be quite simple. There are all sorts of ab exercises but I only perform one, sometimes 2 of them. The first thing to bear in mind is that the abs are just another muscle. They need to be forced to grow. In order to do this, they need weighted resistance for a maximum of around 12 reps. Your wasting your time doing sit-ups for many minutes on end. I recommend that you get a weight and hold it on your chest and sit-up slowly. At the top of the movement hold and crunch the abs then lower yourself back down slowly. Dont allow your back to fully rest on the floor. The goal is to do anywhere between 6 and 12 reps to the point where you cant do any more. I use a sit-up bench for my abs routine, it allows my body to be declined, thereby adding yet more resistance for my mid-section to push against. 3. Use a Fat Stripping Diet I would rather use the phrase Way of Eating rather than Diet here because diet implies that you will stop eating like this someday. If this is what youre going to do, forget about it. Youll just yo-yo around for years. You need a permanent change in the way you eat for about 95% of the time, the other 5% you can let your hair down and enjoy the odd treat. If you have a lot of fat to lose, I recommend ditching the rubbish carbohydrates from your diet. By this I mean white bread, potato, pasta, bagels and all refined carby junk. To get your body to start using your stored fat for energy you can cut your carbohydrate to below 20 grams a day (this level varies for each individual). Carbohydrates that are good are nuts, seeds (flax is great), vegetables (cauliflower, lettuce), some fruits like strawberries and avocado. This is a big subject and I would recommend that you read this article, How to Lose Weight and keep it off Permanently to get a more informed insight. 4. Work your abs at most 3 times a week Any more than this wont be beneficial. Your abs, like any other muscle, need time to recover. Hit your abs hard, then get out of there and rest. 5. Ditch the caffeine from your diet But Mark Ill fall asleep! If youre a coffee guzzler, you might feel a little sleepy for a few days but its well worth it. I drink de-caff coffee, de-caff tea and de-caff green tea, works for me and Im certainly not sleepy throughout the day. This is from the Teeccino site Caffeine and Insulin Research shows that caffeine contributes to insulin resistance, a condition that reduces the bodys ability to use insulin effectively. When our bodies become resistant to insulin, glucose and insulin build up in the blood, endangering our health and increasing our risk of developing Type II Diabetes. Drinking coffee can also cause insomnia and sleep deprivation, both of which have been found to increase insulin resistance. Kicking the caffeine habit can help to lower your risk of insulin resistance and help you to manage your weight more effectively. High blood sugar levels will make you fat, make no mistake about it. Also, check this out: Coffee Triggers Food Cravings Caffeine and other ingredients found in coffee, including decaffeinated coffee, have been shown to increase stress. Caffeine elevates the stress hormone, cortisol. This stress hormone creates an emergency fight or flight reaction in the body including increased heart rate, blood pressure, and a sense of emergency alert. This alerts the body to increase its energy stores which results in food cravings specifically for sweets. Limiting caffeine can help control food cravings throughout the day. I hope this advice has helped you. Please let me know if I can be of further assistance. Mark McManus

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How to Get the Best out of an Argument

Mark McManus — Fri, 04 May 2007 16:29:49 +0000

I hate arguments! How often do you have a barney with the other half? (Rhetorical question ) They sap your energy and make you feel like heck. You get attached to your position and just cant understand why this other person cant see sense. Luckily, I have relatively few in my life. Its not that I never have disagreements or misunderstandings with the people in my life, but I do understand the human capability to choose ones response to the external stimuli. Once I got this principle (from 7 Habits of Highly Effective People) I was more able to consciously choose my response to the environment around me. I could be a lot better at this but I thank God Im not how I used to be. Look into the Future When you see the first signs that an argument is brewing, look into the future. Feel the pain that youre going to experience if you continue down this route. I think youll start to realise that it would be futile to continue on in the same vein or allow the other person to do so. Understanding Also know that the only reason that the other person is arguing with you is that they are attached to their position. There is always a reason for this. Their internal, unconscious beliefs and values are driving their stance, they might not even be aware of them. If you just think the other person is a douche bag, know that no-one is a douche bag without a reason! You can Never Win Anyway Its true. If you lose the argument, you lose. If you win the argument you lose also. This is because when you look at the big picture, the other person probably feels a little inadequate or resentful towards you. When you win and think to yourself, I showed them! they arent thinking the same thing. Theyre probably calling you a smart-ass who thinks he knows everything, or a jackass for being so hurtful. Either way, youre an ass who thinks hes won something . For the sake of winning the argument, youve damaged a relationship. A Man Convinced Against his Will. A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still. An argument is about forcing the other person to see things from your perspective. When you attempt to do this the other person will naturally cling to their position more tightly. If someone said that your opinion was stupid and wrong, youre more likely to go out and find evidence of why youre right. However, if someone told you that they understood your opinion but as they came to a different conclusion, would appreciate you looking into their viewpoint, youd be more open to it. It is possible to have other people change their views on things but not against their will. You cant set this up as a battle to be won or lost between the two of you. Again, in the big picture, youll always lose anyway. To get the best out of an argument, DON’T HAVE ONE! Mark McManus