The three year old recently received a shiny, pink, brand new princess bike. As she was pedaling around a short walking path by our house, a thought occurred to me. As parents, we try to put our kids in little plastic bubbles and eliminate anything harmful that could happen.

We buy bikes with training wheels, put bumper pads on cribs, and guards on toddler beds to keep the kids from rolling out. Some of us even buy protective liners for shopping carts to isolate our children from any filth a previous child may have left behind.

What about parents? Where are my training wheels?

The first time I realized that my wife and I were going to have to figure this whole parenting thing out was when we were still in the hospital with our first daughter. The nurse wheeled her in, all snuggled up in a blanket, and sleeping in what looked like a Tupperware container. Then the nurse left… but she didn’t take the baby back and take care of her for us (which I thought was rude).

The good news was that our training wheels were only a phone call away. While still in the hospital, we could just call the nurse. More importantly, after we arrived at home, family and friends were more than willing to pitch in. People brought us meals for a week or so to spare my wife of my cooking (which usually consists of only two things, frozen pizza and mac and cheese). Plus, when liquid started shooting out of what seemed like every hole the baby had, my mom was willing to talk about vomit at length.

However, sometimes the training wheels come off before you’re ready (or at least before you think you’re ready). In our case, I changed jobs and we moved. We had to learn to keep our balance for a little while, but before we knew it, we began to realize that wherever you go, there are people willing to step in and lend a hand to keep you steady.

They say hindsight is 20/20, and I’ve realized that we’ve had more help than I’ve realized. So when you get frustrated and feel alone in this parenting thing, be sure to stop and look around… I bet the training wheels are close by.

If you liked this post, you may also like Women Are Wired Differently from simplefather.com.

Are you the type of person who can argue and disagree with others? Or, do you let people walk all over you? There are many who avoid confrontation at all costs, while others are more than willing to jump in and argue away. Some are even uncomfortable disagreeing with their spouse, while others may have a problem challenging any type of authority.

While I tend to not enjoy disagreements, I can disagree with my wife or others if the need arises and I have to get my point across. I am writing today to let all of those people who are deathly afraid of confrontation know that it is OK, and downright American, to disagree with others. The art, though, is in how you disagree.

So to help all of you who, like me, shy away from confrontation, here’s 10 ways to pull off the perfect disagreement:

1. Listen closely to what is being said

You must first and foremost listen and hear what the other person is saying. You may not agree with what is being said, but to make a response you must try and remain calm and listen to the whole argument before responding.

2. Stay away from name-calling

Make the disagreement about the issue not about the person. Calling people names will only anger the other person and close down pathways to communication.

3. Discern the tone of voice the person is using

Depending on how the person is talking with you, you need to respond in kind. There are many times where the other person is not trying to pick a fight, but instead he is simply trying to make a point of view understood.

4. Address a specific point the other person has raised instead of the entire position

Be specific to the points you are concerned with after hearing their argument. Not only does this keep you focused, but also it allows the person to remain open to your perspectives without completely shutting down and putting up their defenses without hearing your side of the disagreement.

5. Don’t deny the person, deny the perspective they are taking

Focus on the issues being discussed and do not make this about the person. Once you start focusing and attacking the person, the disagreement becomes personal and the barriers that I mentioned earlier will be raised and nothing productive will come out of the conversation.

6. Remain calm

Above all, you must remain calm when you disagree. You need to make sure you have a level head so that you can speak in a way that others will want to listen. Once you become angry, you will likely start to attack the other person and turn the disagreement into a argument.

7. Speak for yourself

When disagreeing always make sure you are speaking for your self and not for the masses. You can only speak for yourself in any situation – try not to bring others into your disagreement.

8. State the facts

Similar to the above point on focusing on one thing instead of an entire perspective, it is important to be clear and succinct about the points you are trying to address. You must be able to stay to the facts in the disagreement. It’s up to the other person to decide whether or not your facts are enough to change a position.

9. Clear the air, don’t attempt to win

Depending on the situation it is always best to talk about the issues that are bubbling under the surface, even if this will start a disagreement between you and your wife or another person. You need to make sure when you disagree or when you bring up these issues that you do not enter into them with the preconceived notion that you will “win” the argument. Instead, go into the situation with the idea that you want to clear the air helps keep disagreements from escalating into arguments.

10. Validate the other perspective

One way to bring someone to a point where they will listen with an open mind is to validate their perspective. This does not mean that you agree with their perspective, but it does mean you understand what they are saying. Think empathy here. By doing this, it lowers defenses and raises awareness of other points of view.

And one bonus one…

11. Agree to disagree / Consider compromise

There are going to be many situations where you will not see eye to eye with another person. In these situations, both people may need to either compromise their own positions or agree to disagree. Agreeing to disagree does not denigrate your position in any way, but it does validate the other person’s position, make them feel respected and help them to not have any hard feelings.

What other things do you do to pull off the perfect disagreement? What tricks or tips can you share with us?

Flickr Photo Courtesy: Jim Epler

This is a follow-up guest post from Vincent Marra, author of The Dad Jam and The Magic Network. At the beginning of the year he offered his resolutions to be a better dad in ‘09

It’s hard to believe we are half way through 2009. That means Sweet Cheeks is almost a year old and my nose hairs have grown half an inch. I’m happy, at least, that my nose hairs haven’t grown nearly as quickly as Sweet Cheeks has.

Here’s how I’ve been making out on my resolutions for 2009 so far:

“Spend one-on-one time with each of the kids, everyday.”

Everyday was a tall order, but looking back, I think I managed it so far. Maybe there were a couple of days when I didn’t, but for the most part I did. The secret to success on this one is that I make a point of giving Sweet Cheeks her evening bath every day, which is really fun one-on-one time, and if I didn’t get a chance to play with Smarty Pants at some point during the day, I make an effort to read him his bedtime story. Chalk up a silver star for me on that one.

“Spend one-on-one time with my wife, everyday.”

The biggest challenge we have is letting the computer and/or internet come in the way of our one-on-one time, as we scramble to do some online activities in the few spare moments we have after the kids have gone to bed. To solve this, we have introduced designated computer-free evenings. Tonight, as I write this, is not one of those.

“Learn some cool kid’s magic tricks to wow my son and his friends.”

“Exercise at home; so that I can be fit and alert for the wife and kids.”

“Meditate; so that I can be relaxed and focused when dealing with the kids”

“Think win-win and foster relationships of trust and understanding with each of my family members.”

“Write entries in the journals that we keep for each of our kids more often”

“Cook healthy meals for the family and learn some new recipes that they will enjoy.”

“Do more crafts, drawing, and writing with Smarty Pants.”

“Embrace the values of community and the environment as a family”

We bought a bike trailer as well, to be able to bike more often with the kids. To give back to the community, we have donated a lot of toys and clothes to various places, but we could be doing even more. I’d like to focus even more strongly on passing these values on to the kids.

As a bonus, I said I would continue to Jam and collaborate with all the moms and dads out there, and I hope I haven’t let you down in that respect!

At times I have slowed down a bit this year, because I have been working on another online project at The Magic Network and getting that off the ground, but I will always come back to, and will always love, meeting and collaborating with other moms and dads online and in person.

Photo Courtesy: vinnyinvienna on Flickr

Since tomorrow (July 3rd) is a holiday and I plan on kicking back and enjoying this 3 day weekend I’m brining you the “Weekly Round Table” a day early.

I didn’t think you would mind. I hope you all have a fun and safe holiday weekend and I’ll see you on Monday.

Here are your weekly links:

1. Stats on Tap: Annual Beer Consumption by State [Slosh Spot]
2. A great new comic for dads by a dad [Planet Saturday]
3. What will your children value when they grow up? [Domestic Cents]
4. 30 Days to a Better Man Challenge Wrap-Up [The Art Of Manliness]
5. 7 Essential Superpowers for Dads [Natural Papa]
6. Need help answering your child’s “why”s and “how”s? [Whyzz.com]
7. Fathers, are your children hazardous to your health? [The Vancouver Sun]

Writing and maintaining this site takes up a ton of my free time and I’m looking for 3-4 contributors who want to write one article a month for Building Camelot. That’s all – just one article a month for the next 3 – 4 months.

Are you interested? If so, that’s great! You can contact me, shoot me an email or leave me a comment below and I’ll get back with you quickly.

I’ve been writing Building Camelot for quite some time now and I’m looking to slow down my posting frequency and get some writers on board to help out. I want to maintain the personal feel of Building Camelot and that’s why I want to keep it to only 3-4 writers.

I contemplated taking the entire summer off but some things have come up and I’ve got a list of 5-6 posts that I really want to get done before I take a little summer break.

I know I’m not the only one who wants to kick back and take it easy this summer, but if you’re looking to spread the word about your own site or write about a different subject matter then here’s your opportunity.

Here are a few reasons why you should write for Building Camelot:

1. Reach More Readers: As of 06.30.2009 I have 563 RSS subscribers (~200 from FriendFeed) and an additional 46 email subscribers
2. Twitter Followers: As of 06.30.2009 I have over 1,200 followers on Twitter and all articles are automatically published
3. SEO friendly Theme: This site is powered by the Thesis theme which sports very SEO friendly code so your articles are more likely to be found by Google, Bing and Yahoo.
4. You keep the content: If you write an article for BC, you own the content. You can do whatever you want with it after it has been published
5. No word minimum: I’m not looking for long, drawn out articles here. I just want articles that are to-the-point and cover whatever it is you’re writing about.
6. What images? I know that finding the right image can feel like a full time job and that’s why I’ll take care of all the image work for your posts. Unless of course, they are your own images.

I’m a pretty flexible guy…I mean, I work full-time, blog full-time…oh, and I’m a husband and a father on top of all that. I know what it’s like to be busy and pulled in many different directions.

If you have an old article that you want to dust off and think would add value here, that’s great. Or, if you normally write about being a father and want a place to discuss marriage or relationships – perfect, and vice versa of course.

Building Camelot was founded on the idea of brining men into balance in order be better husbands and fathers. I’m pretty open to any article that would interest dads and husbands today. Plus, I won’t breathe down your neck if you can’t write an article that week. Like I said, I’m pretty flexible.

If you’re interested – even if you only want to submit one article, let’s talk. I’d love to have you on board.

Time flies when you’re having fun right? I was browsing my archives the other day and got all nostalgic so I decided to highlight some of my posts from June 2008. I can’t believe that it’s almost July (where did this year go?) and before the month slips by, let’s take a trip down memory lane and look back at some of my old posts from Building Camelot.

1. I hosted the 6th and most manly of all Manivals: [June 2nd]


2. BC was in the spotlight over at The Father Life [June 5th]


3. 6 great sites to help dads get involved with their kids [June 10th]


4. Here are 5 sites you should read if you’re a blogger [June 12th]


5. Every day is Father’s Day from Bill Walton [June 16th]
6. Just the beginning of the princess room [June 19th]


7. Uncle Sam bought me a new HDTV [June 20th]


8. My review of Seeing the Everyday magazine [June 24th]


9. Painting the perfect pink princess room [June 25th]

On another note, I got a shout-out from the folks over at Johnsonville about my post on building your own Ville. Check it out!

If you like the image above, be sure to enter for a chance to win a 6 month premium membership to Picnik. And, if you enjoyed this post and want to stay up-to-date, be sure to sign up for my free news feed or have new updates delivered straight to your inbox. Either way, you won’t miss out on any upcoming articles.

Do you love taking and editing your digital pictures? Have you checked out Picnik yet? Picnik is an awesome, easy-to-use web-based photo editing program that can help you make professional looking pictures and collages quickly without the need to learn or buy expensive software.

I was lucky enough to receive a premium account from the folks at Picnik and they want to help spread the love to my readers. That’s right – I’m giving away 2, 6-month premium accounts to Picnik so you can add some awesomeness to all of your photos.

If you’re new to Picnik, I suggest you check out my review and see some of the results you can get just from the click of a mouse.

It’s so simple to use that there’s no good reason not to use it and once you see what you can do, you’ll want to picnik all of your pictures . And, if you’re anything like me, I know you have a ton of pictures that could use a little TLC.

Here’s How You Can Win:

1. Creativity: Head over to Picnik and give it a whirl. Upload a couple of pictures and try adding some effects. Once you’ve created a masterpiece, post the picture on your site linking to this contest. My goal here is to see how creative Building Camelot readers are and drum up some interest in the contest.
2. Comment: Leave me a comment below and tell me what your favorite Picnik feature/effect is, tell me what you would do with a premium account and why you deserve to win. I want to hear your stories and learn more about you.

The winners will be chosen based on a combination of the creativity of your image and your comment. I’m looking for someone who really wants and will actually use the premium account.

Contest Rules:

1. The contest is open now and will close on Sunday July 12th at 12pm. Any comments or links back to this article past that date and time will not be considered for the contest.
2. Only one comment and one link per person. You can leave more but your name will only be entered once.
3. You must have a valid email address to enter the contest
4. If you have any questions you can either contact me or shoot me an email. Either way I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.

That’s it – now get to it and let me see those pictures!

If you’re looking for a safe, fun and easy place for your children to learn online then you have to check out Jumpstart.com. Trusted by 20 million parents, Jumpstart.com is an online, virtual world that’s full of games and adventure for kids ages 3 and up. With games that actually teach your children different skills, Jumpstart.com is a great place for your kids to learn math, reading and other skills year round.

Using a new service called thisMoment, I’ve put together the following “slideshow” showing images from Jumpstart 3D as well as actual videos of my daughter playing different parts of the game. I hope you enjoy and just click “next >>” to get started. [Click here if the slideshow won't work in your browser]

It’s Easy To Learn:

I was excited when the folks over at Jumpstart offered me a one-month trial of Jumpstart 3D (the online game). At first I thought it would be fun for me to try out thinking that my daughter would be a little to young to get much out of it. What I didn’t expect was for her to immediately pick up the mouse and start playing games, dressing her Jumpee and asking “Can I play Jumpstart.com when we get home?”

The interface is simple, uncluttered and very easy to navigate. I also liked how the mouse pointer was large and easy to see. Navigating around the map is simple and when you select an item it highlights in a way that’s easy for kids to see and understand. You can tell that the Jumpstart team put a lot of thought into making the game easy to pick up and play.

The Tip Of The Iceberg:

Since my daughter hasn’t yet mastered the use of a keyboard, we spent 99% of our time in Story Land. In Story Land (ages 3-5), kids only use a mouse and the gameplay is pretty straight forward. I was impressed with the depth of games and activities available in just a small portion of Jumpstart land.

I played around in some of the other areas geared toward older kids and I even had a good time playing the games. I can only imagine what other games and adventures are out there once your child gets old enough to use a keyboard comfortably. There’s so much to explore you’ll just have to check out for yourself.

Learn More about Jumpstart:

1. Check out the interactive map
2. Read the Jumpstart Times (blog)
3. Join the Parent’s Forum
4. Check out their list of awards

Final Notes:

For the geeks out there, every time my daughter and I played Jumpstart, it was over a wireless connection and I rarely had any trouble with game performance. Even at full screen, the game runs smoothly and you only have to wait when you’re entering a different part of the game. Even that didn’t take too long and once inside, the game play was quick and responsive.

For $8/month or $75/year, Jumpstart is an no-brainer for parents looking to enhance their child’s education by giving them an awesome place to explore and learn.

If you’re a Photoshop whiz then you can stop reading this right now. However, if you’re like 99% of the people out there who either don’t have the time or the money to learn Photoshop, then you’ll love using Picnik.

Loaded with more features than you’ll ever need, Picnik is a web-based photo editing suite that makes it a breeze for you to create professional looking pictures without having to worry about learning complicated (and expensive) software.

Of course you don’t have to be a parent to appreciate Picnik…you can use it for whatever type of photography you’re into and get amazing results with just a click of the mouse. But, I do know that a lot of my readers are parents with tons of pictures of children and Picnik is perfect for busy moms and dads.

I’m constantly amazed at the results that I get from using Picnik. It runs in your browser and returns the results almost immediately and often times I forget that I’m actually using a wed-based program.

How Does Picnik Work?

Edit Your Photos:
Under the “Edit” tab you have access to many basic functions such as AutoFix, Rotate, Crop, Resize, Exposure, Colors, Sharpen and Red-Eye fix.

Create Your Photos:
Here’s where Picnik really shines. Under the “Create” tab there is a slew of different effects (see examples below), text art, stickers (clip-art), touch up tools, frames and even some additional advanced features.

You could spend hours under the Create tab tweaking and playing around with many different effect combinations to get your picture looking just the way you want.

Share Your Photos:
Basic (free) accounts have the ability to save their photos to a local hard drive while paid accounts have access to so much more. With a paid account you can share your pictures on Twitter, upload them straight to Facebook, email them or add them straight to your Flickr account.

The Picnik Interface:

Picnik is super simple to use and very easy to navigate. The main tabs are always at the top and your choice of effects, text, stickers, frames, etc. are always in the left sidebar. Creating awesome photos has never been easier.

Examples of Picnik Effects:

I love Picnik so much I took the time to create the following examples so you could see, first hand, what Picnik can do for you. The first picture is a cropped version of the original photograph (no effects have been applied).

The following 8 pictures show you some of my favorite effects (Picnik defaults) available to all users and the last 4 images show you some of the premium features.

Original Photograph (cropped):

1960’s Effect:

Boost Effect:

Cross Process Effect:

HDR Effect:

Infrared Effect:

Lomo Effect:

Holga-ish Effect:

Orton-ish Effect:

Vibrance Effect (Premium):

Dots and Dots Effect (Premium):

Fancy Focus Effect (Premium):

Gritty Effect (Premium):

Of course I can’t cover everything there is to know and love about Picnik, so I encourage you to head over there and try it out for yourself. These examples are just the tip of the iceberg and you don’t even have to have an account to test out some of the features.

Learn More About Picnik:

1. Now, It’s a Picnik To Edit Your Photos Using… [Wall Street Journal]


2. Hits and misses 2.0(07) [CNET News]


3. Picnik is The World’s Best Online Photo Editor. We Mean it. [PhotoJoJo]


4. Online Photo Editing is now a Picnik [Mashable]


5. Picnik/The Blog [Picnik]

I highly encourage you to check out Picnik and stop back by here soon because I have another contest coming up that you won’t want to miss.

Be sure to grab my free RSS feed or have email updates delivered straight to your inbox {No SPAM guaranteed} Either way, you won’t miss out on any upcoming articles and contests.

First, let me say “Happy Father’s Day!” to all the dads out there. I hope you all get to watch some of the U.S. Open, maybe cook out on the grill, drink a few cold beers and just have a great weekend overall.

Second, here are your links for the Father’s Day edition of the Weekly Roundtable:

Father’s Day Links:

1. Obama promoting fatherhood as national priority {The Associated Press}
2. What I’ve Learned About Being a Father {Esquire.com}
3. It’s Dad’s Day {Guideposts Magazine}
4. Happy Father’s Day From The Evolution Of Dad Project {Building Camelot}
5. 6 Lessons I Learned About Being a Man from Growing Up Fatherless {Art Of Manliness}

Other Great Links:

1. The Great Porn Debate {Dad-blogs via Debating Dad}
2. iColoringBook iPhone Application {Kid Glue}
3. Father’s Day Book Giveaway! {Idaho Dad}
4. Whisky Stones™ (just in time for Father’s Day) {Teroforma}
5. Snow Peak Titanium Round Flask {Design Within Reach}
6. Scientists: Getting Married Makes You Fat {Just A Guy Thing}
7. Never Negotiate With Terrorists {OutnumberedOnline}
8. Baseball payroll vs Batting averages {Bits and Pieces}

I hope you all have a great Father’s Day weekend and if you need to get in touch with me, you can either contact me or just shoot me an email. I’ll see you all on Monday.