As a follow-up to my recent post Can You List 50 Things You Love?, Babbo, the author of Daddy Brain, has graciously let me republish a couple of his articles about goal setting and how to achieve those goals. Today’s post will just be an excerpt from his 1st article, A Fresh Look at Goals: for Parents, Kids & the Family so if you like what you read here be sure to click over and read the rest of his article.

We can’t truly begin the journey until we can see where we’re going (which makes clearly defining our goals an important goal in and of itself). Depending on where you are in life, this could take some time.

According to Jack Canfield, ”one of the easiest ways to begin clarifying what you truly want is to make a list of 30 things you want to do, 30 things you want to have, and 30 things you want to be before you die.”

Brian Tracy puts it this way:
“Imagine that 5-years from now your whole life has been made perfect in every respect. Every aspect of your life. All your dreams have been fulfilled; every goal has been achieved. What would it look like if 5-years from now your life was ideal in every way?

• Where would you be in five years?
• Who would you be with?
• What would you be doing?
• How well would you be doing it?
• How much would you be earning?
• What kind of home would you live in?
• What would be your level of physical fitness?
• What would your family be like and your relationships?
• How would your children be doing?

If your life were perfect 5-years form now in every respect – what would it look like?”

I’ve been thinking a lot about 5 year plans for the family and I and I’ll have to sit down and really take the time to think through some of these questions.

A big “Thank You” goes out to Babbo for letting me use some of his work over here. Be sure to check out the rest of the article and leave him a comment or two to let him know what you think.

Have you seen this baby?

She is on the loose roaming the streets with Plagiocephaly. Do not approach, she is considered to have arms and be dangerous! She is a white female with a flat, misshapen head, piercing blue eyes, and a smile that melts hearts (which cannot be seen in the mug shot).

Be warned, her parents have taken action to correct the shape of her head and make her ‘normal’. Lucky for them, there was a company (cranial tech) willing to step in and expedite the process.

Cranial Tech quickly made a mold of the baby’s head in order to see which areas of the head were misshapen. Then, a custom DOC (Dynamic Orthotic Cranioplasty) band was fabricated for this heinous criminal, and yada, yada, yada eight months passed and now her head is nice and round.

The facts… why her head was flat in the first place:

• She slept almost exclusively on her back, partly because of the back to sleep campaign, partly because she cried less.


• She had very tight neck muscles (torticollis) and tended to turn her head to one side. As a result, when she was sleeping, she would always lay on that side.


• We, as parents, didn’t notice her head getting more flat, until it was too late.

The treatment:

• As described above, a mold of her head was taken, and then she was fitted for a DOC band.


• Every two weeks, we… well mainly my wife and parents so I could keep bringing home the chedda, went to Chicago to get adjustments made to the band. This allowed for the progressive shaping of the head.

Why we did it:

Although statistics are a little hard to come by, there are a few things that could happen. The alignment of her ears could have been off, causing balance challenges because of how the inner ear works. Also, as you can see from the mug shot, her eyes were not in line with each other. This could lead to perception issues, as well as minor balance issues.

If you have any questions, let me know in the comments. This is a bit of a simplistic view of a problem that seems to be growing… one which I had no idea about until informed by our doctor.

Are you the type of person that will say “Yes” at the drop of the hat? Do you tend to over-commit yourself to things outside of your family? If so, you probably are a “Yes” man, and welcome to the club.

J-Mom and I have had many conversations about being over-committed, not only with work, but with outside activities. I fill my time outside of work not only with kids and family, but also with Rotary and church activities (I said yes to being on the church council).

So why do I have such a hard time saying no? I don’t exactly know why this is a problem. I think much of it goes down to being an experience junky. I love meeting new people and making a difference in the world around me. Now you may say that having my family and making a difference in their lives should be enough, and I know this, but I still find myself at times falling into this trap.

It also is not just in my out of work life where I do this. I also tend to over-commit in my work life as well. Now don’t get me wrong, I do accomplish my commitments, but I do tend to say yes more than I probably should!

So is there help for an over-commitment addict (as J-Mom would probably call me)? I did some research and found some great resources that I thought I would share with all of you (as I am not going to provide a top ten list of things you should do as I currently do not do them).

• http://blogs.payscale.com/job_mom/2007/07/working-moms-an.html
• http://www.mommd.com/avoidovercommitting.shtml

So do I think that I can change overnight? Not even slightly. Do I think that with hard work I could make this change? You bet I can. The biggest thing that I know I have to do is to actually do it… this will be the hardest thing for me. It is not that I do not want to be with my family…far from it. My family is my life, but also in my life as I have already mentioned, I crave interaction. I do not have a lot of friends that I do things with here where I live and these are ways for me to connect with people.

I also understand that I need to be fair to J-Mom to allow her to also have these opportunities and to do things for her as well so that she has an identity outside of being a mom. I think at times my over-commitment gets in the way of her ability to separate herself from her role as mom…which is not fair in the least.

So today I am looking for your advice

• How do I get past this over-committed lifestyle with work and within my personal life?
• How have you done it in your own life?

Although posting frequency has slowed down a bit around here, never fear! I’m always on the hunt to bring you the best father, husband and manly related links that the World Wide Internets has to offer. The reason things have slowed down around here is because I’m exploring, in more detail, some of the 50 things that I love. I’m taking some of the little free time I have and researching, exploring and brainstorming on some things that I know are my passion in life and I’m trying to figure out where Building Camelot falls on that list. There will be more to come on that later.

Here are your awesome, weekly links:

1. Thanks to Trey Morgan you now know how to be the best dad in the galaxy


2. Parents…if you’re on Facebook, please don’t end up here STFU, Parents


3. You’re definitely not a man until you’ve drank some Thailand Scorpion Whiskey or some Asian Snake Whiskey


4. Putting together a refined bachelor’s pad or man cave space? Check out Barneby Gates or Ralph Lauren Haberdashery manly wallpaper


5. Dad-o-matic shows you 7 Secrets to Raising a Happy Child


6. Daddy Forever did a great write up about ooVoo that you should check out if you like using Skype.


7. Here’s a cute video of kids being tempted by one marshmallow (via Vimeo):



8. Ever drink a beer or two after work? If so, you’ve got to get yourself an after office tie


9. The Is it Candy or Medicine? chart will make you think twice about keeping your kids away from your medicine.


10. We might have to talk if I find any of these non-manly products in your home.
    

This is a guest post by Ben Murphy, the Founder of TheFatherLife.com, the men’s magazine created for dads. He lives in New York with his wife and three daughters

I don’t have a child with special needs, but I’m in awe of those who do. Not because parents of special needs children are perfect or super-human (I take that back, they are super-human), but because my friends with special needs children consistently overcome challenges that continually humble and teach me.Growing up, I had very limited exposure to children with special needs.

However, now with a sister-in-law with Cerebral Palsy and several close friends who have special needs children, I’ve been exposed to special needs families and have been taught a lot through example about the core values I need to have as a parent. It’s a book we should all take a page from. So, as an outsider to the world of special needs, here is one person’s perspective on the values we should all learn from these amazing people.

RESILIENCE.

LOVE EVEN WHEN.

ACCEPTANCE.

“I am autistic, but that is not who I am”

Carly’s parents’ experience reinforces that we need to love and accept our children despite initial outward appearances. All of our children are wonderful creatures who bring joy to our lives if we only listen to and love them for who they are. (I would urge you to go online, search for ‘carly fleischmann 2020,’ and watch the episode; it’s powerful!)

Autistic Teen Finds Inner Voice (Youtube Link)

CREATING CHANGE.

An unofficial mentor of mine and I were talking over lunch a few weeks back and after a rather short discussion about my general apathy towards some things in my life and after I couldn’t give him a straight answer about where I wanted to be in 5 years he gave me a challenge that would alter my life’s direction and inspire me to make some big changes in my life.

What was the challenge? He challenged me to list 50 things that I love…that’s it…just 50 things that I love. It sounds easy until you put pen to paper and actually start thinking of all the things in this world that you’ve witnessed and experienced in life. Not only do you being to question the things you’ve done in life but you also being to think about the precious time you have left on this Earth and what’s out there that you haven’t experienced.

Love…it’s such a strong word. If you’re married and/or have children you know exactly what I’m talking about. But when you begin to list out 50 things that you love the most in this world your perspective on things suddenly changes. You’re not listing a few things you’d like to do this weekend – this exercise is to challenge you to find that passion in your life…find out what lights a fire in your heart and what will drive you to pursue your passion.

What about things I used to love to do?

If you know deep in your heart that you want to do something because you’d love to do it then, by all means, include it on your list. The combination of past, present and future loves will help paint a very clear picture of you passions in life.

What if I have more than 50?

My Challenge To You

This challenge will mean more to someone who’s not only looking for change but you also have to be open to that change. You might have an idea of the things you love but until you see them all together on paper you may not be aware of exactly where these things will take you.

Go grab yourself a fresh sheet of paper, a nice pen, maybe a new notebook and get writing…leave yourself plenty of room for brainstorming because the more time you put into this the better the outcome will be.

I find it hard to imagine that the summer is coming to an end and football season is right around the corner. The weather is getting a little cooler and I’m stuck here wondering where the summer went. I know you’ve heard it 1,000 times but when you have kids time goes by so fast…and when you have two of them it easily goes by twice as fast.

The family and I took a little vacation and headed down to the Redneck Riviera for a few days so I’m trying to get back into the grove of posting more frequently. Here’s a little video (yes – I know it’s very dark) of my youngest daughter jamming out to Dread Clampitt at The Red Bar. We all enjoyed listening to them play and little Maddie really got into it.

Dread Clampitt live at the Red Bar in Grayton Beach, FL

Here Are Your Weekly Links:

• Most parents love taking pictures of their kids. Here are 50 Free Resources That Will Improve Your Photography Skills
• Thanks to The Onion and to Mashable for posting this Stalk Your Kids on Facebook and Twitter video:

Facebook, Twitter Revolutionizing How Parents Stalk Their College-Aged Kids

• Like beer? Check out the winners of the Great American Beer Festival via FlowingData
• Don’t have kids? Want to use your kid(s) as an excuse to call in to work? Check out The Office Kid
• Want to easily capture all of your child’s “firsts”? Check out lil’grams via Mashable
• I’m all about the cheap and thanks to Daddy Forever for introducing me to KidsEatFor
• What do you think? Will 2010 be the year of the dad blogger?
• Finally – you can drink beer while you play your favorite arcade game with the Drink & Game via Uncrate.
• Dad-o-matic has an interesting take on the question “What do you want for your kids?“
• You’ve never seen a more manly breakfast…trust me.

Have a great weekend everyone and don’t be a stranger. Leave me a comment below or send me an email and say hi. I’ll see you all on Monday.

I can’t thank you all enough for taking the time to enter my HP/Microsoft Back-to-school contest. I was overwhelmed by the number of responses and picking a winner was much harder than I expected. There were a lot of comments and posts that I had to cull through and try to find the one that best embodied the “better together” concept.

The winner, Mr. Wu Ming Wang did just that with his comment about becoming a better father in multiple way in order to provide a better life for his son. It’s a long read but one that really touched my heart and ultimately won him two laptops from HP & Microsoft.

Here is his story:

My life was forever changed the day I welcomed my baby boy to this world. Financially, my wife and I were not ready to take on the task of raising a kid. We had just finished paying off the medical bills that my dad incurred for his back treatment. My wife and I both worked in restaurant, so our wages back then were quite low. We just couldn’t afford for one of us to stay home full time to take care of the baby. Our plan was to wait several years when we were more financially stable. However every time we saw other kids playing with their parents, our desire became increasingly strong. Fortunately, my parents volunteered to move in with us and take care of the baby while we worked. With that taken care, everything was in place as we anxiously awaited the arrival of our love gem. However, just few months after my baby boy was born, my dad’s back started to act up again. The American treatment was obviously not working.

That separation had taught me something valuable, shone a new light on my life, and changed my perspectives about giving back to the communities. I no longer saw others just as my fellow human beings; they are also the cherished sons and daughters of others regardless of how old they are. From that time on, I no longer tossed aside donation letters citing my poor economic condition as an excuse. I started to take interest in helping those growing without the love of their parents in any way I can. I might not have much money to give, but I gladly donate myself to charity works. I have continued that habit to this day.

Motivational Force

Shortly after my baby boy left, I began to think about my future. Working in the restaurant paid very little. However, there weren’t many jobs outside of Chinese community for someone with limited English. My wife hardly knew any English at all, so she had no choice but to confine her to the slave labor that is restaurant. On the other hand, I had other options. I had some college under my belt. I dropped out because of my family’s dire financial condition, especially not possible after my dad’s back pain started to manifest. To give my child a better future, to allow him soar as high as possible, I needed to get a better-paying job. I needed to go back to school to get an accounting degree. And my wife was very supportive of my decision.

Typically, when a parent hears this, he or she would take pride in that and grin from ear to ear. To me, that’s not the case. Being a mirror of me was actually a bad thing because I had at that time so many character flaws that were ill-fitted to our current society. Those would put him at a huge disadvantage compared to other kids. My life at that time was a living proof. Fearing the worst, I knew I needed to find one way or another to nurture him into a better man. And in the process preparing him for the future, I have come to a better understanding of my personal shortcomings and learnt to straighten them out as well.

Joy Oh Joy

As many parents have mentioned before, having kids really brings great joy to their life, sometimes sprouting flowers in a once desolate garden that had long forgotten what flowers look like. That’s the magic my boy brings to me. Growing up, I was sadder than glad most of the time due to my family’s dismal financial conditions. How can you be happy when you, at the age of ten, have to get up at six o’ clock in the morning not to go to school but to work in the field; when you are constantly hungry because the rice pudding you eat has more water than rice; when you can only jealously watch other people playing their toys because your family is too darn poor to spend on those things: when you have to walk on scorching roads bare-footed because you have to save the only pair of shoes you have for winter; when the only time you ever get one new piece of clothes is on New Year’s day.

Laughter is indeed contagious. In the process of making him laugh more, he had provided me with lots of happy moments that slowly set the happy tone for my future. As he grew older, he would often bring home jokes that made me laugh really hard that my stomach hurt. Of course, people around me have noticed that I have become a happier person, much easy going than before. My perspectives on life have also changed. I no longer see a cup as half empty but rather half full.

Shyness

I have to admit that growing up, I was a very shy person. I heard from my parents that most of my relatives were the same growing up, with some obvious exception. As time passed, some of them stayed the same, some improved a little bit, and some made a 360 degree turn-about. I was in that second group. Sadly to say, my boy also inherited that trait. He’s very reluctant, or shall I say scared, at meeting new people. Oftentimes, I would take my boy with me on errands. And along the way, if I saw any of my friends and relatives, I would stop and talk to them for a while. Of course, I would try to introduce my boy. Apparently, he wanted no piece of that. He would actually hide behind my legs and cover up his face with my pants. Then he would tug my pants to signal that it’s time to go.

During that time, I had to do a lot of things that I could never do if it were not for the motivational force that was my little boy. Of course, he had to do them too. Needless to say, it was a very slow process. We didn’t make a 360 degree turnabout, but what we accomplished was good enough for both of us that we no longer felt uneasy talking with strangers. Well, just a little bit. As a result of this training, I became more proactive, rather than reactive when it comes to making acquaintances.

Communication Arts

Typically, communication skills go hand in hand with shyness. People who are shy, more often than not, are not really good at communicating with others. They might be a decent writer or reader, however speaking, not so much. Because they talk less, they miss out the practice of making them fluent speakers. And because they are not fluent speaker, they talk even less. A vicious cycle is thus born. That really hit the nail on my head. I could only sputter a string of short sentence together. Ask me to tell a story, I would stutter after few sentences and then things would become confusing. So I avoided telling stories like a plague.

At the beginning of my job at the accounting firm, I worked in the back office, doing all the drudging work that nobody wanted to do. As I became a better communicator, I managed to persuade my boss to let me work in the front office, such as meeting new clients, contact lawyers about tax codes, etc. As later when I opened my own restaurant, I found those communication skills quite useful at negotiating contracts with landlords and suppliers, and maintaining good relationship with customers.

Patience

The one thing that is central to all these father-son activities is patience. I thought I was a fairly patient guy until my son showed me the limit of my endurance. The initial stages of all the activities I mentioned above were really difficult to implement. It took an awful lot of time in the beginning just to get my son to smile and say his name when meeting someone new. Because of his young age, he didn’t really understand the importance of those activities. So his progress was very slow.

Thanks to my son, I have become a much better person through the journey that we embarked long time ago. He has made more impacts, at least made me realize the needs to change myself, than I could ever imagined prior to being a dad. In the process of helping my boy climb the ladder of childhood, learn attitudes and skills to overcome the challenges he found each step of the way, I have discovered much about myself and I have strive to be all I can be.

Again, a big thanks goes out to HP, Microsoft and the folks from Ivy Worldwide for putting all this together. I also want to thank everyone who entered and be sure to sign up for email updates or grab my free RSS feed so you won’t miss out on any upcoming articles.

One of our favorite indulgences in my house is the lazy Sunday where we stay in our pajamas well into the afternoon. Days like this are the perfect opportunity to make the morning that date night you couldn’t have on Saturday.

On these fine days you sometimes need something a little more than a bowl of cereal or a quickly tossed together plate of eggs, bacon and toast. Sometimes you need to do a little planning, some moderate prep work and wait patiently for your reward to be ready.

If you are willing to invest the necessary time to make something truly delicious, then you need to strongly consider making a stratta for your next ‘date morning’. A stratta is basically a bread pudding that is baked in a casserole dish. The foundation is simply day old bread that has been cubed and a custard of whipped egg and cream.

From this base you can pretty much take it in any direction you feel like going be it sweet or savory. My wife prefers savory items for the first meal of the day, so I chose to add ham, onion, green bell pepper and an assortment of cheeses to the stratta that I make for her.

It takes 20 to 30 minutes to prepare and will need to cook for about 35 to 40 minutes depending on your oven, but it is certainly worth the effort.

Here are the basics of what you’ll need to make the stratta:

Hardware:

Oven, preheated to 350 degrees
Medium casserole dish, greased
Frying pan, for a quick sauté of any meats or vegetables
Large mixing bowl
Medium mixing bowl
Whisk
Spatula
Cutting board and knife

Software:

2-3 cups cubed day old bread of choice
4 oz. (half a package) cream cheese (or ricotta cheese, if preferred)
6-8 eggs
½ c. cream or half-and-half
¾ c. Gruyere cheese, grated
¼ c. Parmesan cheese, grated (for topping)
Medium onion, diced
1 Green bell pepper, diced
1 Ham steak, cubed
3-4 bacon slices, rendered and crumbled

Assemblage:

• Cube the loaf of bread and set aside in the large mixing bowl.
• Cook the bacon in the frying pan until crispy, set aside and drain most of the pan drippings.
• Add the cubed ham steak into the frying pan with the remaining drippings and cook until browned, then add the onion and green bell pepper until the onions are translucent.
• Remove the ham, onion and pepper mixture from heat and let cool.
• Put the cream cheese in the medium mixing bowl and soften in the microwave for about thirty seconds on 50% power, or until completely soft.
• Using the whisk, whip the softened cream cheese until smooth while adding cream.
• Add the eggs to the cream cheese and cream mixture, and whisk until completely incorporated.
• Pour the egg mixture over the cubed bread and mix thoroughly, then add the Gruyere cheese and crumbled bacon.
• Add the cooled ham, onion and pepper mix to the large mixing bowl.
• Pour the contents of the large mixing bowl into the greased casserole dish.
• Sprinkle Parmesan cheese on top to create a nice crispy crust.
• Bake in oven uncovered on the middle rack for 35 to 40 minutes, checking after about 25 to make sure the custard mixture is setting up.

The stratta is done when you can insert and remove a butter knife cleanly from the center of the pan. If you really want a crispy top, sprinkle a little extra Parmesan on top and turn the broiler on high for three to five minutes.

Variations on a Theme:

If you prefer, you can mix things up with different meats or vegetables to create your own version of the stratta. Or, if you want to go sweet, drop the meats, vegetables and cheeses from the software list.

You can add sugar, honey or maple syrup to the custard mix to sweeten it up and even a tablespoon or two of melted butter for a little richness. Then you can add chopped pecans or walnuts and some fresh fruit after you’ve folded the custard into the cubed bread.

As far as seasoning goes you could toss in some cinnamon or nutmeg, but what would be even better is to mix a 2:1 ratio of granulated sugar to cinnamon in a small bowl and sprinkle it on the top to form a sweet, crunchy crust.

Presentation:

There’s really no trick here, as a stratta is kind of a rustic dish. I usually just scoop it out and pile it up on the plate. If I’m feeling really fancy, then I might chifonade some basil or use chives as a garnish.

No matter which way you go, you really can’t lose. This is a fun, easy recipe that you can make very easily and inexpensively.

If you give this, or anything else here, a try I’d love to hear from you about how you liked it, what you may have done differently to fit your tastes, or what you do for lazy Sundays in your home.

The contest is over – thank you to everyone who entered. I’ll announce a winner soon.

It has been a few weeks since I announced my back to school giveaway and now it’s my turn to host the contest. Starting today, August 25th, through 12:00pm August 29th, you can enter to win an awesome back to school bundle from HP and Microsoft. There will only be one winner and you must follow the rules in order to be considered for the giveaway.

Here is what you could win!

• 1 (one) HP dv6 laptop


• 1 (one) HP Mini 110 netbook


• 1 (one) Syncables Software to sync files between the two


• 1 (one) customized Building Camelot Timbuk2 bag

Here is how you can win:

Since the promotion is all about being “better together” I want to hear from you on how you have become a better person since having children and how you have applied that to some aspect of your life.

So, if you’ve become more patient, a better listener or a better problem solver I want to hear not only the story behind it but also how you’ve applied your new found character elsewhere in your life whether it’s at home or at work.

Stories should be well thought out and engaging and should incorporate the better together idea to be considered for the contest. There’s no minimum word count for stories but I’m looking for the best story out there and the better the story, the more likely your chances are of winning.

In order to be counted for the contest, you MUST either leave me a comment below or write a post on your blog and link back to this article. It’s that simple but it has to be done by 12:00am on August 29th. As much as I’d like to be flexible, HP and Microsoft are asking for specific dates/time for the bloggers involved and your entry has to be in on time.

Other Sites Participating in the giveaway:

Updated HP & Microsoft Back To School Schedule

The Fine Print:

1. This contest open to anyone in the world, but if the winner is outside of the U.S., he/she may be awarded a credit to HP’s online store to avoid shipping and customs restrictions.


2. Individuals who have won at another website participating in the HP Back to School Giveaway are ineligible to win a second time.


3. Your entry must be post marked by 12:00am on the 29th of August – if you miss out on my contest be sure to take part in the other giveaways listed above.


4. The winner will be announced via email by 5:00pm on August 30th. You must leave a valid email if you leave me a comment below – I won’t hunt you down if your email is incorrect and I can’t get a hold of you.


5. If you create an entry on your site and link to this post, please email me or contact me so I can be sure an include you in the contest. Sometimes I don’t see all of my back links in time and I don’t want there to be any confusion.

Here are some additional reviews:

If you have any questions about the rules of the contest, please please email me or contact me right away so I can get back to you as soon as possible.