Building Self Confidence Naturally

How to Improve Communication | Ways to Improve Communication

noreply@blogger.com (SS) — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 12:42:00 +0000

For the month of December I am going to focus on how to improve communication as a facet of confidence building and give you concrete ways to improve your communication skills for the better. With Christmas looming and more social situations to deal with it's a good time to reflect on how we communicate and also to practice some new ways of doing things!

We have talked a little about communication skills before and so you may want to have a look over these posts now:

Poor Communication Skills are a Sign of Lack of Confidence

Can't Say No?

Ok, so here's what are we going to cover in our communication skills mini series:

Listening Skills
Eye Contact
Passive Aggressive Communication Style
Aggresive Communication Style
Passive Communication Style
Assertive Communication

Don't be put off if any of these terms seem daunting or are unfamiliar - I will be explaining everything in easy to understand English!

So you might be asking yourself, what's the connection between confidence levels and communication skills and why do I need to improve communication? For starters, effective communication can make such a difference to our personal relationships, our work relationships and even our relationship with ourselves. When we get communication right and start building positive connections with the people around us our confidence naturally increases.

I'm going to start the series talking about listening skills because very often those of us with low confidence have excellent listening skills! It's easier to listen rather than talk - right? So let's build on what we're good at and go from there.

You're also going to benefit if you feel your listening skills could do with some improvement as I show you some very simple techniques to improve your listening skills.

Real, focussed, non judgemental, listening is one of the most special gifts we can give to someone and this simple act of kindness can really help our relationships with others grow into something very meaningful.

When our relationships are good, we feel better about ourselves and this in turn helps us feel more confident.

Stay peeled for the first installment of how to improve communication!

With very best wishes,

Simone

How to Become More Outgoing and Stop Being Shy

noreply@blogger.com (SS) — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 09:57:00 +0000

If you're thinking about how to become more outgoing then - Welcome! You are in the right place. Unlike other self confidence websites and blogs, I'm sharing my personal experience of building self confidence and how to stop being shy. I know what it's like to be shy, to wish I could be more outgoing, to feel scared of social situations and to be alive but not really living.

That was me 10 years ago, before I decided that I had better make the most of my life before it was too late and stop allowing a lack of confidence to make my decisions for me. I started working on building my self confidence and questioning my beliefs about myself and taking the limits off of what I could achieve. One of the main things I worked on was how to become more outgoing and I want to share with you how I did it.

It was the New Year in the year 2000. As usual, I had not planned to go out and celebrate - I told myself I'd prefer to be at home on my own. Christmas had been dull and I'd avoided all the festivities as I normally did by giving excuses for why I could not come to parties and Christmas drinks etc.

While I was at home that New Year's Eve an amazing thing happened - my TV stopped working! I know it doesn't sound that incredible but because I didn't have the TV to divert my attention, I started thinking. I could hear my neighbours enjoying their parties and I began wondering why I was allowing myself to miss out on all the fun and enjoyment that everyone else was experiencing.

Why was I hiding myself away?

I kept mulling this question over and over - I even had a piece of paper and a pen to write down the answer, but I couldn't think of one! Yes, I had a vague sense of anxiety about the thought of soicalizing and a feeling that I would be more vulnerable if I was out with lots of people, but the realization I had, was that it really was nothing that I couldn't overcome. I made a decision there and then that my New Year's resolutution was to go out more often. Specifically, to make sure that I arranged with my friends to go out at least once a fortnight. And I did!

What I found was that gradually I became less anxious about going out and started to really enjoy socializing. From going out once a fortnight, it gradually increased to once a week. My confidence improved and I found that my life had an added richness it hadn't had before.

I had more to talk about because I had been doing interesting things.
My work relationships and my family relationships improved.
My ability to talk to strangers went from strength to strength.
I learnt new social skills.
My communication skills improved.

And all of this because my TV packed up! So why not take a few minutes now to ask yourself these three questions:

"What's stopping me being more outgoing?"
"Can I make a commitment to go out more often?"
"How often am I comfortable going out each month/week?"

I can guarantee you that the more effort you make to go out, the easier it will become. And like me, that small step will lead to bigger steps.You'll find that gradually you are actually living and enjoying life! The question of how to be more outgoing and stop being shy becomes mute, because you are doing it!

Let me know how you get on with this and also if you have any questions, just leave a comment and I'll get right back to you.

With warmest wishes,

Simone

No Confidence - Lack of Self Confidence is Holding Me Back!

noreply@blogger.com (SS) — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 13:40:00 +0000

If you experience low confidence or a lack of self confidence most of the time, then you know what's it's like to feel that if only you could overcome your lack in confidence you could achieve so much more. Confidence is the centre pin for so much of what makes our lives successful or not. When we feel confident we can take bold steps such as:

Ask the Boss for a Raise
Start Our Own Business
Go Travelling
Start Conversations
Ask Someone We Like Out
Make Our Thoughts and Feelings Known
Be Assertive About What We Want and Don't Want
Follow Our Dreams

What tends to happen in people who are shy or lack in confidence, is that they get stuck in the same old routines and find it hard to break out of them. To the non-confident person, Routine = Safety. We know where we are with routine - we know what time we're going to get up, the route we will use to get to work, what we will have for lunch, what tasks we will have to complete during the day (usually not very challenging ones!), whether we are going to buy groceries on the way home, what we will watch on TV, and what time we will be going to bed.

Routine can be useful, but it can also become very limiting and BORING! The day described above has no room for surprises - everything is mapped out from getting up to going to bed. We run through our routine on auto pilot and just get through the day.

No Surprise - No Challenge - Nothing New

Yes, it's safe and comfortable, but there's got to be more to life hasn't there? If you need a little boost to your confidence and want to start working towards the big stuff (like following your dreams) then take a little step everyday. Do something different! Go to work a new way, try a different type of food, book yourself onto a new class, speak to a stranger, get a new hairstyle, listen to music instead of watching TV. These may seem like very subtle changes, but they will make a difference and will help build up your confidence to the point where you feel you can make the big changes that you want in your life.

By pushing ourselves just a little to get out of our comfort zone and trying something new, we can build self confidence naturally. So instead of having on our resume, "confidence - lack of" we can change that to, "confidence - working on it!"

With very best wishes,

Simone

Being Overly Trusting is a Sign of Low Confidence

noreply@blogger.com (SS) — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 21:24:00 +0000

Do you find yourself being overly trusting towards the wrong people? People who take advantage of you, manipulate you and abuse you? Unfortunately, this is sad and common experience of those of us with low self confidence. We often fall for flattery, charm and someone who is initially nice to us, only to find out later that it was all an act and that our judgement was impaired.

At that point, we not only have do deal with feelings of rejection, hurt and despair, but also feelings of "how could I be so stupid?" We ridicule and punish ourselves for being so dumb and for allowing ourselves to get hurt yet again. This simply damages our confidence further and confirms all the negative beliefs we have about ourselves.

But why do we keep repeating this pattern of trusting people that aren't trustworthy? You won't be surprised to know that the answer is quite complex! Our ability to discern who is trustworthy and who is not has more often than not been damaged in childhood. The people that we were supposed to be able to trust and rely on, hurt us, criticized us, made us feel bad about who we were and often abused us. This leaves us with some faulty wiring about what trust is and how we can decide who is trustworthy.

One mistake that many of us make is to have the belief that we should trust someone until they break that trust. This can be a very dangerous approach to living! We open ourselves right up to people that want to take advantage of us and manipulate us for their own benefit. Your trust is precious, so don't give it away so easily!

Trust is something that needs to be earnt and built up over time. We learn to trust someone by how they act day after day, year after year. Give yourself slowly and stay aware. This is easy to say and not so easy to do when we crave attention and love, but when you have achieved high confidence levels and have learnt to love yourself I can guarantee that you will not be so easily maniuplated. Start working on your confidence now!

With very best wishes,

Simone

Inflexibility and Over-flexibility are Signs of Low Confidence

noreply@blogger.com (SS) — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 20:31:00 +0000

Do you bend over backwards to do what other people want? Or maybe you find it hard to adjust decisions or personal rules once you've made them? The first is a sign that you are over flexible and probably have a lot invested in pleasing others (see the post on not being able to say no for more on this). The opposite of being inflexible can also be a sign of lack of confidence and low self esteem.

Inflexibility or rigidity comes about when we are overly worried about "doing something wrong". When we feel we've found a "right" way of doing things we stick with it and consequently everyone who does not follow the same logic as ours is "wrong". We tend to see everything in terms of black and white and right and wrong. While this approach can give us a sense of security, so that we don't have to feel the pain of "messing up", it can also severely limit our enjoyment of life and our relationships.

Before we go onto look at what we can do about being overly rigid in our thinking and behaviour, let's have a look at how this mindset comes about. Oftentimes, those of us who are inflexible and rigid in the manner that I have described, have grown up in families who were overly critical and who also saw everything in black and white. When everything we do is criticised we experience deep feelings of rejection, ridicule, judgement and disapproval.

The solution we as children find to avoid these very painful feelings, is to try and make sure that we never make a mistake again. But what this solution does is create a very narrow and restrictive thinking pattern that often does not work very well in our adult world. We miss opportunities, we stay in old, familiar routines, we're scared to make changes and step out of our comfort zone, we don't take risks and we don't question our beliefs. We are not leaders - we are led.

I'm sure you can see that this way of living could be doing you a massive

disservice! Staying in rigid, inflexible patterns of behaviour means that you are probably not living to your potential. What hidden talents have you not yet found? What could you be doing with your life right now? How much more interesting and exciting could it be? If you want to live with passion and zest then you need to start working on improving your confidence and learning how to be more flexible.

With warmest wishes,

Simone

Can't Say No?

noreply@blogger.com (SS) — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 21:08:00 +0000

It's such a short word - just two little letters! How hard can it be to say? But many of us who experience low self confidence find it one of the hardest words to say. The possibility of saying no might not even consciously cross your mind, even when your whole body is crying out to say it! You might be wondering how your body tells you you want to say no? It lets you know through emotional discomfort. Through feeling low, depressed, anxious, despairing and tired. These emotional reactions are for the most part, symptoms not causes. The repercussions of ignoring your true self.

So how do we caught up with this inability to say no?

When we feel we have to please others it can become very difficult to say no, because we worry so much about what others will think about us. We worry that they might think that we are selfish, inconsiderate ordisloyal. In reality what's happening is that we are relying on that other person for our little bit of self esteem - for their praise or lack of displeasure. This may seem like a solution to our low confidence, but how long can it continue before we have completely lost ourselves? The answer is not long! When we ignore our own wishes or don't even consider them our sense of who we are shrinks. We become what others want us to be and forget to listen to our own hearts and minds.

Another problem with living in this way is that it creates deep feelings of resentment and anger. You may not be aware of them, but I can guarantee you that they are there sitting just outside of consciousness.

Learning to say no can be one of the most liberating experiences and will boost your self confidence hugely. Next time a friend or relative asks you to do something for them, before you jump into say yes, tell them you'll think about it and let them know. This will give you the valuable opportunity to actualy think about whether it's something you want to do or something that you feel you should do. If you feel you should do it think again - you are nobody's doormat! Make a choice based on what you want and what fits in with you!

With kind wishes,

Simone

Comparing Ourselves to Others

noreply@blogger.com (SS) — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 11:01:00 +0000

One of the things that those of us with low confidence and self esteem do way too much, is compare ourselves to other people. It's natural to compare ourselves against each other, but when our confidence is low we tend to overestimate the worth of others and underestimate our own value. This creates feelings of worthlessness, submissiveness and very often depression which compounds our low confidence levels. But this type of thinking is faulty.

No - I don't want to hear your justifications about why you are so much worse than everyone else! Accept for just a moment that this is faulty thinking and I'll tell you why it is. First off, this kind of thinking is not based in reality, but in what our mind projects onto ourself and others based on our own beliefs.

So for instance, if we have grown up with someone telling us over and over that there is something wrong with us, we come to believe it. We don't question that that judgement could be wrong. Then in our adult lives we walk around with this belief lurking deep within us, so you won't be surprised to find that you see evidence of it everywhere!

You imagine that such and such person is more beautiful, more intelligent, more popular, more confident than you, and on it goes. But are they really? Why not question it now? Think of all the beautiful celebrities that you think are better than you. Yes, they may have better looks and more money than you, but many of them have very serious personal problems as well. A lot of them are addicted to drugs, have trouble maintaining relationships, are insincere and manipluative, are in debt, have mental health problems, are estranged from their families, get burnt out, ruin their success, etc, etc.

So how much better are they than you really? Why not start building yourself up by thinking about your positive qualities and forget about what you assume other people have. In many cases we are wrong and give them too much credence! I bet if you think hard you can come up with at least a few of your best characteristics. Doing this will help you start building your confidence and focussing on what's good about you instead of comparing ourselves to others unfavourably.

Kindest regards,

Simone

Poor Communication Skills are a Sign of Lack of Confidence

noreply@blogger.com (SS) — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 09:46:00 +0000

When our confidence is low, our ability to communicate effectively with the people around us is usually hampered.
We often find it hard to speak with any conviction because we are too busy worrying about what the other person is thinking about what we are saying, and how they might react to us.

Our minds are so busy worrying that we may mumble, speak quietly and get our words mixed up. This frequently causes the very thing we fear! And that is people switching off from us. This then feeds into all the doubts we have about ourselves and our confidence becomes lower still. It becomes a self fulfilling prophesy!

Even if we are able to sound confident, there's an aspect of communication that always gives us away - our body language. At least 55% of all communication is through subtle changes in how we hold our body and another 38% is our tone of voice. That means that the words we use cover a mere 7% of the total communication!

So what can we do to improve our communication skills? The first thing is to understand that communication is not simply about speaking - it's also about listening and body language as well. The door to confident communication is unlocked by making sure that our body language, tone of voice and words are all unified and delivering the same message.

The ways we can do this, are by completely focussing on what we are saying and stop thinking about what the other person may think about it! I know that this can be difficult when our confidence is low, but just try it and see how you get on. Also, make sure that you maintain good eye contact, sit or stand up straight without hunching over and stay relaxed.

While we can work on improving our communication skills on their own by using the methods above, once you begin positively building self confidence you will find your communication skills greatly enhanced in both easy and natural ways.

Keep in touch,

Simone

Defensiveness is a Sign of Lack of Confidence

noreply@blogger.com (SS) — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 11:14:00 +0000

Do you frequently react defensively when people are talking to you because you imagine that they are subtly putting you down or are trying to manipulate you? These fears are common in people who have low confidence, usually because it's exactly what has happened in the past with people that did not have our best interests at heart. It's wise to remember that just because we have been hurt in the past, it doesn't mean that everyone is out to hurt us. Acting as if they are, will push people away and cause a great deal of communication problems.

We have all had our feelings hurt by someone we love - it's an inevitable part of being human. But what we often do is attach false meanings to these kinds of experiences and say to ourselves that this person hurt us because we are worthless, weak, stupid or unlovable. This thinking is simply untrue and falls down as soon as we start to think about it logically!

Think of it this way. If your child came home from school and told you that someone had kicked her at playtime, would you call her worthless, weak, stupid or unlovable? No you would not! You would offer her comfort, talk to her reassuringly and let her know that it was the person that kicked her that has the real problem.

When someone hurts our feelings, whether accidentally or purposely, it doesn't mean that there is something fundamentally wrong with us! If someone does hurt us purposefully, it definitely says more about them than it does about us. Even the kindest people can hurt each other accidentally from time to time, which is all part of the rich tapestry of life.

The lesson here is that we need to be as kind to ourselves as we would be to our own child. Don't kick yourself when you are already feeling down. Give yourself some love and reassurance and let yourself heal. If you do this you will find that there is no need to act defensively and you will be gaining self confidence daily.

With warmest wishes,

Simone

Addiction is a Sign of Lack of Confidence

noreply@blogger.com (SS) — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 10:57:00 +0000

Many of us try to deal with our lack of confidence by using alcohol, drugs, sex or food as an escape. They may offer some temporary relief, but we both know that they won't solve the problem in the long term. In fact, they create more of a problem than we had in the beginning! If you use an addiction to cover over your lack of confidence it's time to stop and deal with the real issues that are holding you back.

As someone who has also struggled with a lack of self confidence in the past, in won't surprise you to know that I also used to have a drug and alcohol problem. Being high seemed to be the only thing that would stop all the negative talk in my head and help me feel confident, especially in social situations.

If this is you, then take comfort in the fact that there is an alternative. When we consciously take charge of our thoughts and learn to banish negative thinking, we no longer need the alcohol, drugs or sex to do that for us. The addiction slips away quite naturally on it's own because there is no need for it any more.

I've seen this happen with myself as well as hundreds of other people who decided to use my confidence building program.

Why not start changing your life today and get rid of your negative thinking for good?

Warmest wishes,

Simone

Constantly Criticizing Ourselves & Others

noreply@blogger.com (SS) — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 10:55:00 +0000

If you find yourself being very critical of yourself or others it's usually a very big sign pointing towards our own lack of self confidence. When we constantly criticize ourselves, we are in effect putting ourselves down over and over again. We react internally as if someone else was doing the criticisizing by becoming angry, defeated, anxious and depressed.

When nothing that other people do can please us, we are unconsciously pushing them away which reaffirms the belief that we are no good and unlovable. These kinds of negative thought processes damage our confidence subtly and perniciously over time and need dealing with immediately.

Negative thinking, which includes being critical and judgemental, can be overcome quickly once we are aware of it. Ask yourself this question: "What good comes from being critical of yourself or others?"

I'm not talking here about honest feedback, which is very useful when delivered correctly. I'm talking about constantly undermining yourself and others through constant criticism. In my opinion there is no benefit to this - all that happens is that you feel bad and you make others feel bad. When we feel bad it's hard, if not impossible, to perform at our best and our relationhsips suffer.

Try to catch your critical thoughts as they occur and ask yourself it it really is going to help anyone - yourself included. Challenge and question the thought - how accurate is it really? Are you really worthless, useless or a terrible person? Unless you have murdered someone today I doubt it very much! You are a unique and valuable person and I know that without even having met you!

Learn some more positive thinking techniques by watching my free video.

Have a great day!

Simone

Not Taking Risks is a Sign of Lack of Confidence

noreply@blogger.com (SS) — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 10:34:00 +0000

Taking calculated risks is a healthy activity that can lead us to new opportunities and new horizons. When we stop taking these kinds of risks our world shrinks and so does our confidence. We stop moving forward and become trapped in our own little bubble.

Yes, it is a kind of chicken and egg situation, in that we need a little confidence to take a risk in the first place, but pushing past the fear and actually taking that risk, even if it's just a small one, can boost our self confidence no end!

In an earlier post we talked about decision making and how we can never know what the outcome of a particular decision will be. We learnt that all we can do is make the decision based on the information we have at hand and then let go. Well taking risks is related to this kind of decision making in a big way.

Just to get this straight, I'm not talking about stupid risks like betting all your money at the casino, driving too fast, or walking out on your job! We're talking about calculated risks that are likely to enhance your life.

Do you have a dream of something you've always wanted to do? Maybe it's a job you'd like? A relationship you want? Something you'd like to say to someone? A place you'd like to visit? What's really stopping you from making the decision to do it? No excuses now! Is there something you could do today that is a step towards one of your dreams or aspirations? Do it NOW! And start gaining self confidence today!

Kindest regards,

Simone

Being Unsociable is a Sign of Lack of Confidence

noreply@blogger.com (SS) — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 10:13:00 +0000

Being unsociable is a lot like isolating ourselves which I explained in my last post, but it has a slightly different dimension. We may stop inviting friends or family over and start completely avoiding get togethers. We may refuse offers to go out with work colleagues - or we might say we will go and then at the last minute find a "reason" not to go out.

When I was experiencing a lack of confidence, I must have used every excuse in the book to avoid social situations! I had a headache, or I couldn't get a babysitter, or I didn't have the money, were my favourite ones.

Why not take a moment now to think about what this is really about. What exactly are you scared of?

Do you have a problem with your physical appearance?

Are you over or under weight?

Are you frightened of being criticized or judged harshly?

Are you scared of messing something up? Saying or doing the "wrong" thing?

Do you see everyone else as "better" than you?

If one or more of these things are holding you back from social situations, let's think about how reasonable and accurate these fears are.

In the previous post we talked about how important it is to surround ourselves with positive people. If you are avoiding social situations because the people are critical and judgemental there are two things you can do. The first choice is to remove yourself from these social circles and make new friends. The second thing you can do is make the decision to ignore negative comments. Yes you do have a choice! This second option works well in family situiations which are difficult to avoid.

If you are lacking confidence because of your appearance or weight, then start thinking about your positive qualities. It really is what's on the inside that matters and that's what people will judge you on. Write down 10 of your best qualities now. Are you a good listener? Are you loyal? Do you love animals? Are you a good Mom? Get creative and if you find this task difficult, think of all the compliments or praise you have ever received. Write them down and put it up somewhere you will see them everyday.

For some more techniques to change your negative thinking try my free confidence boosting video.

With very best wishes,

Simone

Isolation is a Sign of Lack of Confidence

noreply@blogger.com (SS) — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 09:39:00 +0000

When we feel scared to go out or worry a lot about what other people might think about us, it often feels easier to just stay indoors in our own little coccoon. At least no one can hurt us there! The problem with isolating ourselves like this is that our confidence levels drop dramatically if we spend too much time on our own - it actually compounds the problem.

Human beings are by nature gregarious creatures. What this means is that we are happiest living in groups with others. Interaction with other people can help us define ourselves, find out our unique qualities and challenge us to explore new parts of ourselves. The constant feedback we receive from other people whether verbally, physically (hugs etc) or through body language strengthens our sense of identity and confidence in ourselves. That is if the people in our lives are positive people!

If you're surrounded by negative people then the reverse will be true. Yes you may receive some sense of identity from them, but it may not be a positive one if the people in your life are critical, judgemental, overbearing and lacking aspirations.

Spend some time now thinking about what kind of people you have in your life. Do they support you, treasure you and value your unique qualities? If not, it may be time to start thinking about surrounding yourself with positive people that you can really be yourself with. This will help you take charge of your life and start you on the road to improving your self esteem.

With warmest wishes,

Simone

Anxiety is a Sign of Lack of Confidence

noreply@blogger.com (SS) — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 09:19:00 +0000

Anxiety and phobias are another area that can show very low confidence levels. Do you feel anxious in social situations? Anxious about your level of competence in your job, your parenting skills or your relationships? Are you scared to leave the house? Do you suffer from panic attacks?

These kinds of anxieties can be overcome with a little help so don't give up hope. I am going to guide you in overcoming these obstacles and help you become the person you've always wanted to be.

Let me tell you a personal story. About 10 years ago my anxiety levels were so high I could barely leave the house. Any kind of social situation would bring on a massive panic attack. I was even starting to have panic attacks when I was at home on my own. Gradually I shut myself away from the world - I stopped working - I stopped socialising - I could barely eat or sleep my anxiety was so high. I was suffering and my family was suffering also.

For those of us that live with high anxiety this is a familiar picture. But what can we do about it and how can we stop the negative thinking that leads to this kind of anxiety?

The first thing I would suggest, is to watch my free confidence video which will show you how to boost your confidence quickly and easily by overcoming negative thought patterns. Changing my thinking was the key to helping me overcome the debilitating anxiety that was ruining my life. The reason for this is that our thoughts create our feelings.

I like to use this example to show you how this works. Say for instance that you are relaxing on your sofa and you start to think about someone who you really feel attracted to. The more you think about them, the more emotion will be created in your body. You will start to feel loving and probably sexy as well! The thoughts you had preceeded the feelings.

This is how the feeling of anxiety works as well. You start to think you can't do this or do that, worry about what might happen in a given situation, say horrible things to yourself like "you're worthless", or "you're no good", or "you're useless". All of these types of thoughts create a feeling of anxiety.

The only way to overcome this type of negative thinking is to become aware of it and start changing it. I suggest you do that today and stop letting anxiety and lack of confidence ruin your life.

With warmest wishes,

Simone

Indecision is a Sign of Low Confidence

noreply@blogger.com (SS) — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 11:53:00 +0000

Being indecisive is very often a sure sign that we are lacking in confidence. If you have trouble making any kind of decision, or if when you do make a decision, you are always wondering if the decision you made was the "right one" it could be time to seriously think about how this affects your ability to reach your goals.

First off, there is no precise formula for successful decision making. We have all had the experience of regretting a particular decision and then some time down the line it turns out to be the best decision we could possibly have made. We will all also have made decisions which on the surface seemed "the best" in the circumstances, then later we realise that going a different route might have been better.

So "wrong" decisions can be the "right" ones and
"right" decisions can be the "wrong" ones!

What do these facts tell us? The first thing that this tells us is that no-one ever makes the right decisions 100% of the time! Not even the most successful people in the world get it right every single time. So let yourself off the hook! Accept that you made the best decision you could with the information you had at the time and let go of the outcome.

Have confidence in your decision and follow it through.

Something else we can learn from successful decision makers is that they maintain flexibility. Nearly any decision can be changed at a later date if it's not working out as we wanted it to. Never forget that we have the power to change our course and direct our own lives!

The real secret to good decision making is listening to both your feelings and your thoughts, which ultimately comes down to trusting yourself and then letting go. Once you start doing this you will find yourself gaining self confidence at a rapid rate.

Please feel free to leave your comments and share your journey to self confidence with others.

With very best wishes,

Simone

Signs of Lacking Confidence

noreply@blogger.com (SS) — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 10:06:00 +0000

Confidence is a funny thing! One day it's up, another day it's down. If we aren't careful a low confidence level can become habitual and part of the way we function in our day to day lives. So what signs should we be aware of that indicate that we lack self confidence? Here are a few of them:

Indecision
Anxiety
Isolating Ourselves
Being Unsociable
Not Taking Risks
Constantly critisizing ourselves and others
Addictive Behaviours
Defensive
Poor Communication Skills

There are other signs of low self confidence which I will be tackling at a later date, for now this list is enough to be going on with!

I'm really looking forward to the journey we are going to share together. Please leave any comments or questions you have and I'll get back to you as soon as I can.

With very best wishes,

Simone