Building Your Child's Intellect

Reinforcement Theory in Building Your Child's Intellect

2014-04-09T20:30:00.000-07:00

Reinforcing your child's love of learning will increase your bond with her!

Reinforcing your child's love of learning will be one of the greatest gifts you can give your child and will reward her for the rest of her life. Read this now and start to reinforce positively! If you do, you and your child will be glad you did, now and forever!

Understanding and applying this principle will immeasurably increase your ability to bond with, teach, and fortify your child. To illustrate reinforcement theory, consider these examples. Have you ever noticed how a child who is praised for how well she dances continues to dance? Or how a dog who is rewarded with dog biscuits and a hearty scratch being the ears for fetching sticks loves to fetch sticks? Or how a boy who is cheered on as he rounds third base loves to round third base? Or have you noticed that when your family says, “Thanks for dinner! Wow! This is delicious!” you start thinking that maybe fixing dinner isn’t so bad, and start considering what else you can cook up for your appreciative fans? In all of these examples, reinforcement theory is hard at work.

By definition, to “reinforce” means: to strengthen or increase; to make stronger; to encourage. In each of the above examples, a certain behavior was strengthened, encouraged, or made stronger. The reinforcement or encouragement in each example was unique, but the key is that it came. For the dog, it was the biscuit and the scratch behind the ears; for the boy playing baseball it was the cheers; for the dancing girls it was the verbal praise.

In a nutshell, reinforcement theory is this: people are likely to persist in doing things they are rewarded—or reinforced—for doing. The reward a child experiences as a result of any behavior “reinforces” that behavior. Reinforcement can come in many forms including verbal praise or physical touch. A smile, a hug, or a, “Hooray! You did it!” from you are all forms of reinforcement that are fortifying and pleasurable for your child. If a child is not consistently reinforced—through praise, encouragement, and physical touch—for the things he tries and the progress he makes, rebellion and dislike for learning often result.

Applying the reinforcement principle is key to helping your child develop both learning skills and desirable behaviors. If a child is consistently reinforced for performing a certain behavior such as making her bed, she is likely to continue making her bed. A simple statement like, “You made your bed! Thank you so much!” accompanied by a hug is usually sufficient reinforcement for a child. If a parent fails to notice or reward a child for the desirable things she does, the child is less likely to continue doing them. So, your job is to think about what behaviors you want your child to persist in doing, and reinforce her for doing them.

Undesirable behaviors can also be “accidentally” reinforced if parents are not conscious of what responses they give to certain behaviors. For example, if a child cries when she is refused a toy at the store and the parent responds by “caving in” and buying her the toy, the parent is encouraging—or reinforcing—the child’s undesirable behavior of crying to get her way.

Consider these additional examples involving reinforcement theory. They may help you think through how you can use the reinforcement principle in your home to obtain the results you want:

Example: A 3½-year-old child keeps begging to eat ice cream between meals. The parent has determined that the child’s nutrition is adequate and that she should not be hungry an hour after she has eaten. The child is persistent and increases the pressure until the parent gives in “just to keep her quiet.”

Comment: This is applying reinforcement to develop undesired behavior and bad eating habits. The child learns from the success of pressure and persistence that the parent will eventually give in to her demands. The behavior of whining and the habit of eating sweets between meals are unwittingly reinforced.

Example: Mom is tired and hurrying to get dinner on the table. Her five-year-old keeps trying to get her attention to show her the pictures he just drew. He tries to show her several times, but each time she ignores him or says, “I don’t have time to look at that right now.” She does not look at him or respond sufficiently for the boy’s liking. In his frustration, he hits his little sister as she walks by. Mom then gives the boy her full attention; she looks at him and addresses him directly.

Comment: Although the boy is being scolded, he has gotten his mom’s attention, which is what he wanted. Thus, he is learning that hitting gets mom’s attention. He is “reinforced” for hitting when his mother refuses to pay attention to him unless he hits. Although being scolded may not seem to be a “pleasurable” reward, some children consider any attention from their parent (even negative attention) better than no attention at all.

The mother was busy and needed to continue her dinner preparation. But it may have been wiser to look directly at her child and say, “Show me your picture while I work.” After a 20 second explanation from the boy of what he had drawn, the mother could then smile and say, “Wow. Thanks for showing me. I really like the way you colored that mountain. Could you show me your other pictures after dinner?” For the sacrifice of 30 seconds, the mother could have reinforced the behaviors of both artistic expression and kind conversation rather than reinforcing the need to hit.

Example: A little girl proudly holding a broom says, “Look, Dad! I swept the floor!” Dad looks over and sees a small scattering of crumbs still littering the kitchen floor. Dad says, “Thanks so much for sweeping. I didn’t even ask you to! You’re really growing up and becoming responsible.”

Comment: Dad wisely reinforced the desirable behavior of helping without being asked instead of focusing on the less important factor of how well the child was able to perform the task. If a child has done her best, let it be enough. Praise her for what she has done instead of scolding her for what she has left undone. There will be other opportunities for teaching her how to effectively use the dust pan. If you want her to continue to sweep the floor, praise her for doing it. Is she likely to sweep the floor again if her initial efforts to do so were rewarded with criticism?

Indulge Your Child’s Interests

2014-04-01T11:00:00.000-07:00

In addition to following your child's feelings, plan activities your kids are interested in doing. If your children want to visit the train station but you want to take them to the art museum, take them to the train station. Unless, of course, you want to have an absolutely miserable time filled with whining, complaining, and all manner of contentious bickering. Taking them to places they are interested in going cuts down significantly on the number of arguments you have to referee and the number of grumpy comments you have to field.

But you don’t have to give up on the art museum all together; you just have to wait until the time is right. If your children’s interest in trains is high now, that doesn't mean they will never be interested in art. If visiting the museum is really important to you, help your children find a reason to be interested in it. The key is to discover what fires their curiosity, and to help them pursue it when they are ready and eager to do so. As you study your children and respond to their signals and interests you will become a master at turning playtime, work time, and activity time into incidental learning experiences that will pay rich dividends.

As you continue to follow this blog, you may become concerned about what could seem to be excessive demands upon your time to do all of the activities recommended. You will find, however, that most of the upcoming recommended activities do not require additional time from busy parents. As you learn to recognize opportune moments to teach your child, you will find that much of your teaching occurs in the natural course of a day. You will teach as you dress her in the morning, as you feed her, as you play with her during the day, while you take her shopping, or when you put her to bed at night. The techniques are casual; the teaching is incidental and related to the real-life experiences of parent and child.

“How do I find the right balance between appropriately challenging my child with love and pushing him too hard?” The first answer is: PLAY with him. As often as it is feasible, play what your child wants to play when he wants to play it and look for chances to teach as you go. If your teaching is child-centered and child-directed your child is not likely to feel pushed, hurried or forced into learning. He will learn to love learning because he loves playing with you.

Play When You Are Ready to Play

2014-03-14T21:15:00.000-07:00

Your emotional readiness to play and the immediate emotional state of your child are critical to the success of any learning activity. Both you and your child must be relaxed and tension must be at a minimum. Engage in developmental experiences only when it can be a joyful activity for both you and your child. If you or your child are overly tired, stressed, upset or distracted it may be better to wait until later to become involved in a playing activity.

Most parents know when they feel up to the challenge. If your child wants to play “Go Fish” but you are in the middle of a stressful moment, try something like this. Look at your child and say, “I do want to play “Go Fish” with you. But I feel kind of upset right now. I think we’d have more fun if we wait to play until I feel better. What activity would you like to do on your own until I feel ready to play?” Discuss some options and decide when you will play “Go Fish.” (For example, you may decide to play “after you play with your trucks,” “in ten minutes,” or “after lunch.”) Then say, “Thanks for being patient. I’m excited about the game we have planned.” Be sure to follow your plan and play the game together at the appointed time. In the meantime, find a way to relieve your stress: breathe deeply, stretch, put yourself in a room by yourself for 5 minutes, read something uplifting, call your spouse or a friend, and either solve the problem that is bothering you or decide to let it go for now. And chances are, playing with your child will help you feel better and refocus on your personal priorities.

After playing with and/or teaching your child, review the experience in your mind. Ask yourself if the experience was enjoyable for your child. Ask yourself if the atmosphere was relaxed and if there was ample opportunity for pleasant interaction, laughter and happiness. If it was not an enjoyable interaction, ask yourself why, and think of how you can approach it differently the next time.

The entire environment for teaching and playing in your home should be natural and largely spontaneous. As you watch for and create opportunities to play and teach, you will be able to carry out most of the learning activities contained in this blog, and at the same time permit your child to set the pace.

The Home: A Learning Laboratory Full of Opportunities for our Kids

2014-03-04T12:30:00.000-08:00

When talking about incidental teaching and incidental learning, that is not to say we cannot orchestrate, plan, or prepare for teaching opportunities with our child. On the contrary, our goal as parents should be to make our homes a learning laboratory full of opportunities for our children. As parents, most of us feel an anxiousness to provide the finest opportunities for our kids, but too often we focus on opportunities or programs outside our homes and overlook the glaring need to make our homes the site of rich, diverse and consistent opportunities for learning. If one truly wants to inspire and educate their child, one must make an early commitment to make the home a child-centered place of learning. As parents, when we think of building our child's intellect, shouldn't we try to focus on providing hands-on experiences for our children as they learn? Shouldn't we try to provide ample opportunities to touch, explore and create. Kids need to feel, see, hear, and manipulate objects that will support and reinforce learning.

Sometimes I think our homes and attitudes about our homes are not child friendly when it comes to learning. If it is your desire to create a learning laboratory at home that is full of opportunity, than this means you should begin establishing a ready source of teaching aids (in other words, play things) for our child to use. These items should be stored where they are easy to get to. If your child shows interest in a certain activity, but you have to search for and assemble what is needed for the activity, it is often too late. Teaching moments are short-lived occasions that require an almost instantaneous response. Be prepared with your “bag of tricks” when opportunity knocks.

The contents of your bag of tricks will change along with your child. For example, when your child is a baby scooting around the floor his main playthings may include soft toys he can squish, sturdy bowls he can pound on or put things in, and board books you can look at and talk about together. However, as your child grows into a running, jumping three-year-old your bag of tricks may expand to include such things as a measuring tape, spools, geometric shapes, plastic pitchers, measuring spoons and a flashlight. A wide variety of music and books should be a staple in any home consciously prepared to provide maximum intellectual stimulation for the children who live there.

As you construct opportunities for you and your child to play together, please do not forget that activities you consider to be “work” can be a consistent and extremely useful means of play and learning for your child. Setting the table, putting clothes into the washer, and putting away spoons and forks in the drawer are all forms of play and are loaded with opportunities and means for teaching your child.

Incidental Teaching Means Play!

2014-02-27T20:49:00.000-08:00

How do we build our child's mind without stressing them out (and without stressing us out in the process.)The first way to avoid putting undue pressure on your child is to focus on playing with her. The premise of this blog is based upon a loving parent-child relationship where play is the primary means of learning. If you want to have ample opportunities to teach your child, play with her and play with her often.

A formalized teaching agenda is almost never helpful or necessary for young children. If, when you think of teaching your child, you think of sitting down and making an announcement like, “Ten o’clock! Time for your math lesson! Put your blocks away and get out your pencil,” and then having your tiny child eagerly rush over to you for a rousing arithmetic lesson at the table, then you must think again. Perhaps the worst thing you could do is tell your child to put her beloved toys away so that you can rigidly teach her something “more important.” She will immediately learn to resent the activity that is making her put her toys away. So instead, if you want to teach her some basic mathematics concepts, find a way to incorporate them into your play time with her. Help her build towers with her blocks and count how many blocks you can stack on top of each other before they fall. See how many blue blocks, green blocks or red blocks you can find together.

Do not seek to schedule your child’s day by means of a rigid schedule where certain subjects are taught at certain times. This can be stressful and down right boring for your child. Instead, become a master of incidental teaching in your home. In other words, be on the lookout for opportunities to teach your child any concept that presents itself. Learning to recognize and seizing upon the fleeting teaching moments in your small child’s life is how to become a master of incidental teaching. Most often the greatest intellectual achievements occur in a relaxed setting where teaching arises naturally from the events of a child’s day.

A Passion For Learning Is One Of The Greatest Gifts You Can Give Your Child

2014-02-21T20:46:00.000-08:00

If you are reading this blog, there is most likely a child in whose future you feel invested. A child you want to see grow up to be confident, intelligent and kind. A child whose natural brilliance lies brimming beneath the surface of his eager eyes. A child whose eyes look to you for love and direction. This blog was written to help you unearth your child’s unique brilliance and bring it to a glowing shine. And it is simpler than you might think.

Because your child is yours, you are in the prime position to enlighten, enable, and inspire her.

No one is better suited to teach your son or daughter than you. Daycare may protect her, soccer and dance class may entertain her, preschool may socialize her, the neighborhood or church may lend a helping hand, but you will leave the greatest impression on her soul. The things you do with your child, and the way you do them will significantly influence your child’s emotional and intellectual destiny. As you work, play, create, read, think and explore with your child you are laying the foundation upon which all of her future intelligence will stand. It is well worth your time, and the time to act is now.

Many parents feel reluctant to teach their young children before they enter kindergarten. Some parents feel inadequate and don’t know where to begin. Others have come to believe that it’s simply the school system’s job to teach their child, and that their role as parent is largely limited to feeding, cleaning and clothing their child. Other parents want to teach their child but struggle with how to teach a wiggly, strong-willed person with a short attention span. Some parents feel that they’re just too busy to do much teaching. Whatever the reason, many parents resign themselves to thinking, “He’ll learn that in kindergarten,” and miss out being involved in what could have been some of the richest and most rewarding years of their child’s life.

The principles and ideas in this blog will help you recognize, create, and capitalize on teaching moments with your child through every stage of his early life. Whether you are teaching your child how to hit a baseball, how to count to twenty, how to sort socks or how to read a map, you are also teaching him to love to learn. A passion for learning is one of the greatest gifts you can give your child.

The More Effective Way to Building your Child's Intellect

2014-02-10T15:14:00.000-08:00

It is important to teach your child, but it is more important to do it the most effective way. The most effective way is to be patient and loving and kind even when your child repeats mistakes or does not progress at the rapid rate you would like. The most effective way is to teach with empathy—to consider things carefully from your child’s point of view and adjust your teaching to fit his needs.

The most effective way is to protect and treasure the relationship you have with your child more than you value his “intellectual progress.” If your child’s intellectual progress is more important to you than his feelings of acceptance and worthiness, then your efforts as a parent and as a teacher will be limited. You may be able to help your child excel in some areas, but his sense of worth will be compromised. There will be tiny cracks in the mortar of your relationship. To ensure that your child feels good about himself and has a solid relationship with you, you must show love far more often than you show disapproval. You must be kind before you can effectively correct. You must love your child as you lead him.

As you follow the suggestions in this blog and apply them with love, you will grow closer to your child. Your child will feel secure and emotionally nourished. He will sense and experience your love as you engage in teaching and playing with him. If you apply the suggestions in this blog without sufficient love, you will be little more than a pushy, overanxious parent who is raising a disgruntled child.

So how do you find the right balance between appropriately challenging your child with love and pushing him too hard? The next few blogs that I post will suggest two vital answers to that question.

If you are reading...please let me and others know what you think. Please share your experiences.

Reinforce Love of Learning with...Love.

2014-02-09T10:19:00.000-08:00

You have the potential to be our child’s best teacher because you love him. Regardless of your training, background, or natural finesse as a teacher, love is your most powerful asset. Here are some of the benefits of teaching your child with love:

A child who is guided with love learns to love his guide.
He also learns to love the process of being guided.
A child who is led with love is likely to develop into a radiant little being who loves discovering new truths, mastering new skills, embracing new experiences and cresting new horizons.
He gladly follows his loving parent on their shared journey of discovery.
A child who feels loved knows that it is okay to be wrong sometimes because even if he is wrong, he will still be loved.
A child who feels loved is more willing to try, fail, learn, and try again.
A child whose soul is fortified with the consistent love of parents is on the road to a joyful lifetime of learning.

On the other hand, a child who does not feel sufficiently loved is less likely to develop the confidence necessary to try new things, master new skills, and embrace the experiences life brings.

A child who does not feel sufficiently loved often feels fearful, uneasy, and insecure.
He is often afraid of disappointing his eager but overly critical parents. He is so afraid of being wrong—and being belittled, punished, or too harshly corrected for it—that he often opts not to try rather than risk the wrath of his parents.
Parents who attempt to teach their children without communicating sufficient love to them often see their efforts backfire.
When parents consistently become upset or impatient while teaching their child, the child often begins to associate hostile feelings with the process of being taught.
He then develops feelings of resentment not just for his parents, but for the whole process of learning. This can be a devastating blow to the child’s current development and to his future emotional and intellectual life.

So, before you commence to teach your child anything, you must commit to love him. You must consciously create a relaxed atmosphere of love and acceptance, and commit to maintaining it.

Many parents, in their eagerness to see their children progress, often push too hard or expect too much from their young children. This usually happens for one of two reasons. First, parents feel that the way their child turns out is a direct reflection on them and are overly anxious to prove their own value as parents through their children’s accomplishments. Second, parents often push too hard or expect too much simply because they don’t know what is developmentally appropriate for their child at a given age.

This blog will guide you through the stages of your child’s development and help you avoid the common pitfalls of withholding love and pushing your child too hard. I have to say here that I have made mistakes with my children in pushing sometimes too hard or becoming inpatient and as a result have gone backward in some cases with their interests in learning.

I currently have a preschooler at home. Yesterday I introduced her to the piano. It was really, really neat! She loved learning to find and play middle C. The she loved learning D, E, F, G, and then back down again. Wow was she excited about learning! She was loving learning the piano. Please share what you are doing with you child and how it went. Also please check back for more...because there will be more!

Introduction to Building Your Child's Intellect Blog

2014-02-07T14:30:00.000-08:00

As a child of well known educator TH Bell, one of my earliest memories was playing chess with my dad. I remember being introduced to the chess pieces: the King, the Queen, the Rooks, the Knights, the Bishops, and the Pawns. I was fascinated and excited about the various shapes and personalities of each chess piece. Then dad taught me how each chess piece moved on the chess board. After his introduction, we started to play the game. I was delighted. We continued to play each morning before he would leave for work.

This experience of playing chess with dad was a part of a program that he devised for my home-based early childhood education. By following his program, (along with my mom) he left a legacy for me: a love of learning and a keen intellect.

Now as a dad, I enjoy learning activities with my children such as: clapping rhythms, looking at books, making sounds of animals, playing piano, going on walks and hikes, and playing chess. I would like to share this home-based early childhood education program with the readers of my blog. As you follow along, I hope that you will be inspired by some of the ideas.

Play Time with Baby: Building Her Sense of Sound

2011-02-08T12:26:00.000-08:00

Your baby loves the sound of mommy's voice! So it's fun to talk to your baby and see her expressions.

She may already know you are talking to her, especially when you are right in front of her. Now play a game with her that will help her to locate the sound of your voice when it's farther away.

First, put her in an infant seat in the middle of the room. Then, take a walk around the room while talking or singing to her. Next, make a variety of funny noises in different pitches. Last, start whispering her name and then gradually say her name louder and lounder.

In the beginning, she may not yet be able to fully turn her head toward your position. However, she will hear differences in the sound of your voice. Over time she will be able locate you as you move from spot to spot.

Playing this game will help boosts her social development and sense of security as you move out of sight and then reappear as well as build her auditory and visual tracking senses.

Playtime with Baby: Build your own Baby Gym

2011-02-03T11:03:00.000-08:00

Excite your baby's senses by creating your own baby mobile gymnasium.
Gather colorful toys. Little stuffed animals, rattles, or a ring of plastic keys are examples of what to use. Suspend the play items from clips or clothepins or thread them on a length of strong rope. Then stretch your baby mobile gymnasium across his crib. Make sure the mobile gymnasium is close enough to stimulate his senses but out of reach. This will excite your baby's senses while promoting spatial awareness and eye-hand coordination while you move the toys or talk as you play. He'll likely be delighted and may even coo and kick.

Part 2 Building Your Child's Intellect from 5 to 7 months

2010-07-30T14:29:00.000-07:00

Let your baby struggle...a little

At this age your 5 to 7 month old gets to learn to cope with gravity from the experience of falling from a sitting position. Obviously this type of experience should only occur in carpeted or padded areas. When the five- to seven-month-old topples from a sitting position, wise parents will let him struggle briefly before coming to his assistance. Parents who rush too quickly to help often do a disservice to the infant by removing his opportunity to respond to and struggle through this situation successfully. Allowing him to try to recover from a gentle fall will increase his physical balance and allow him to build muscular capacity.

Part 1 Building your 5 to 7 Month Old's Intellect

2010-07-29T16:36:00.000-07:00

By the time a baby is five to seven months old (depending on each child’s individual abilities), he is becoming ego-centered and is demanding more attention. He prefers to be in the sitting position and struggles to be where he can see and interact with others. At this age, his sensory experiences will have increased greatly. He should have many objects to grasp and examine. He should be able to to shift objects from one hand to another. Help him practice this.

Increase your baby’s exposure to music and conversation during this time. Your infant now has more social awareness and will respond readily to things that happen around him. He should have an opportunity to grasp and bang toys or his fists on his high chair or feeding table. This and other similar experiences will stimulate him to make vocal sounds. Encourage his vocalization as much as possible in other experiences besides crying. Try to get him to make sounds and make a special effort to react to the sounds he makes.

Part 2 Playtime with your infant during the first 16 weeks

2010-07-25T14:42:00.000-07:00

Delighting your Baby's Senses
Your little baby's senses are very keen, especially to sounds and touch. That is why this playtime activity is so much fun. First, position your baby so she is looking directly at you. Then lightly caress her skin with your fingertips. As you are doing this, speak softly and pleasingly to your baby. Now try using a soft toy or fabric and lightly brush this across her arms, legs, face, and tummy. Last, say things like "tickle, tickle, tickle!" And "oh it's so soft!" With her keen sense of touch and sound, she will love the intellectual interaction and bond that she is having with you.

Part 1 Playtime with your infant During the First 16 Weeks

2010-07-20T12:23:00.000-07:00

Facinating Faces

Before playing with your infant make sure that he is ready: diaper, recently fed, recently had a nap. Position him so that he is looking straight at you. Your baby loves to look at you and is facinated by your face. Try opening your mouth wide with a smile and making ooooooh and aaaaaaaah noises. Stick out your tongue and move your eyebrows up and down. Make silly faces. Laugh. This game will stimulate your infant's intellect and will also bond you with your baby. You may even notice that your infant may be imitating you by sticking out his tongue or making noises. This simple game may only last for only a minute or two, but will reward you and your baby again and again.

Part 4 Learning During the First Few Weeks of Life

2010-07-19T09:38:00.000-07:00

By the time a baby reaches 16 weeks of age, she will likely have begun to show interest in matters other than feeding, sleeping, and being kept dry and clean. She will want to be held and will enjoy being propped up. Objects that attract attention and stimulate curiosity on a broader scale should come into her experience at this time. She should have her feeding and sleeping routine fairly well established. Encourage her to follow moving objects with her eyes and to reach for things with her hands. Provide frequent opportunities for her to vocalize, touch, and reach for things.

The 16-week-old child should show some emotional response to outside stimuli. She should be cooing and trying to make initial sounds other than crying. She should be stimulated to smile, even laugh aloud, and to respond to all kinds of sound and motion.

Part 3 Learning During the First Few Weeks of Life

2010-07-19T09:28:00.000-07:00

"Shhhhh! The baby is sleeping." This is a normal statement made by every parent. However, while it is not uncommon for parents to demand absolute silence when the baby is taking her morning and afternoon naps, this will not help the baby become tolerant of normal household noises or make the home a natural, normally functioning place. Try teaching your baby to sleep with the usual sounds around the home. She will learn to live in a world with a fairly high noise level and be able to carry on her normal routine while adjusting to life’s circumstances.

Please let me know what you think about naps and household noises? I think this topic deserves some discussion since we all want our babies to have good nap.

When talking about developoment stages, remember each child is unique

2010-07-19T08:08:00.000-07:00

As we discuss learning activities and developmental stages, remember that each child is unique. Your child may not respond to certain activities or situations in precisely the same way as other children her age. She may develop at a different rate than what is outlined in this blog. She may master things more quickly, or may take a little more time. These differences are to be expected and should not cause you any degree of alarm. The parameters outlined in this blog are given as general guidelines; individual differences, exceptions and variations are to be welcomed and expected.

Part 2 Learning During the First Few Weeks of Life

2010-07-17T08:42:00.000-07:00

Crib Toys

Be sure that the crib is an active, responsive place—a place your baby will enjoy. Inexpensive crib toys are commonly used to offer sensory experiences for the infant from about the age of four months to the time he is able to crawl. Such toys should be colorful so that they attract your child’s vision as he is learning to focus his eyes. They should, if possible, stimulate your child to want to reach, which provides practice in coordinating his arm and leg muscles. Some crib toys should make sounds to stimulate the sense of hearing; they should be responsive to the movement of hands and feet. They should excite and stimulate curiosity. Toys should be rotated frequently so that they do not lose their appeal. The more sound, color, and touch stimulation for your child, the greater will be his opportunity for growth during the early months of life.

Part 1: Learning During the First Few Weeks of Life

2010-07-16T16:08:00.000-07:00

The First Few Weeks of Life
Your baby will gain feelings of security by having her physical needs met promptly and regularly in response to her cries. When your baby cries because she is hungry, feed her. If she is fussy because her diaper is wet, change her. If she seems to simply want to be held, hold her. These simple and repetitive acts of serving and comforting your child are the means by which your child learns who you are and that she can trust you. Do all you can to foster the bond that is now being forged with your child.

It is okay to let your child cry sometimes—especially after you have done everything you can to soothe and comfort her. But by and large, you should respond to your baby’s crying in whatever way seems most likely to comfort her. Some babies are quiet, demanding little attention. Busy parents can easily neglect such “low maintenance” babies and fail to provide a stimulating environment. Often the inactive, good-natured, non-crying baby is the baby who needs environmental stimulation the most. Make certain you are consistently comforting, holding, and talking to your baby.

The first 10 months your child’s life should be a time filled with joy and positive experiences as your child learns to know and trust you and gains confidence in herself. Do all you can to help your child have good feelings about interacting with you. Frequently give her your full attention. Smile at her, talk to her, sing to her, and hold her.

Along with nurturing feelings of security, a major purpose of initiating early interactions with your child is to nurture your child’s intelligence. There is overwhelming reason to believe that stimulation of mental activity at the earliest possible age is vital. You should consistently provide varied sensory experiences for your child.

During the first ten months of your child’s life, focus on systematically building her pre-vocabulary skills, encouraging vocalization, and increasing her visual, listening, and muscular skills. Allow your baby to sit or recline in many positions. She should be situated in different locations in the home where she can see a variety of items, shapes, and colors both inside and outside the crib.

Blog Layout

2010-04-01T14:34:00.000-07:00

Each upcoming blog will include an overview of the typical characteristics of a child during each developmental stage. It will also offer commentary about what, how, and when to teach your child. You will also finds some blogs called “Parent Play.” These blogs offers simple activity ideas to try with your child. Some of them may seem so simple and so rooted in common sense that you may be tempted to overlook them as unimportant. Quite often a parent thinks, “Oh yeah, of course. I should take a walk with my kid and talk about what we see. Everyone knows that.” But they too infrequently set aside time to actually do it with their child.
The Parent Play activities will serve as a reminder to do the things you likely already know you ought to do. And likely, some of the activities will be new to you. Each activity is designed with specific outcomes in mind. They are challenging because they do more than entertain—they require your child to use two or more of his senses, and they most often involve physical as well as mental activity. Use these suggestions to your advantage and adjust them to meet your circumstances and your child’s needs. Many of the activities are given as if for one child, but it is not difficult to enlarge the activities to include more than one child. Be creative and think up your own games and activities as well. Your child will love having a playful parent who invents games for the two of you to play together. All of the Parent Play suggestions should be implemented at play activities, which means they should be fun! They should not be approached as “lessons” or as a tedious checklist that you must plow through with your child. Play as you teach and teach as you play.

Nurturing your child’s innate intelligence and bringing it to fruition is a goal within the reach of even the most humble home with the most limited financial resources. The essential element in achieving this goal is not money; it is committed parents who take the time to provide truly creative play, mind-nurturing conversation, and experience-broadening activity in the home, neighborhood, and community. Parents who teach with loving concern, who adjust their teaching to fit their child’s needs, and who realize that their child’s feelings are of foremost importance will see their children blossom.

Individual Differences

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Because there are great differences in the growth patterns of children, it is difficult for a blog of this type to take into account the broad span of abilities and readiness at all age levels. Some children will be able to progress faster than will be recommended in this blog; others may move along much more slowly. Some children—in fact many children—have intermittent patterns of tediously slow progress followed by great surges of interest and learning.
Accept your child as she is and work with her on whatever level of ability she may have at any particular time in her life. Do not be alarmed if your child is behind the recommended levels of accomplishment contained in this book or other reference materials. Some children will not be ready for a specific activity at the suggested age. In almost all cases, if you are patient and understanding, the slow phases of learning will pass and rewarding learning experiences will unfold later in your child’s life.

The suggested experiences and desired outcomes presented in this book are presented as broad guidelines, and will not fit every child’s developmental pattern. Very few children will reach all of the objectives at the recommended time since the activities presented are designed to stimulate and stretch the mental capacities of children having widely divergent backgrounds and abilities. Do not worry about a child’s slowness to develop a certain skill unless it departs drastically from what is considered normal. In such cases, of course, consult your doctor for further information and resources.

By the time a child is about a year old, you as an attentive parent will have learned a great deal about how to teach your child. You begin to get a sense of her strengths and limitations. You will have learned some tricks about how to hold her attention and how to interpret certain responses to various learning situations. As such a parent, you are striving to make your home a powerful, responsive learning environment for your child where opportunities for physical, metal, and emotional growth abound. You should be as conscious of nurturing your child intellectually and providing him with a balanced learning “diet” as you are to balancing her physical nutrition.

Be Patient During the Learning Peaks and Valleys

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There will be periods in the life of almost every child when he will have a total disinterest in certain learning activities. There will be other times when he will be highly interested and will eagerly seek opportunities to learn and to be involved in the games and in the use of educational toys. Children go through stages of development which are related to their physical, emotional, and psychological growth. Do not be unduly concerned if your child’s level of interest is irregular over a span of time. There will be high and low spots in your child’s responses to learning situations. Wise parents will adapt to these situations without conveying apprehension or worry to their child.

It is by not necessary that your child learn all of the things presented in any particular book or blog, including this one. But it is possible. Too often parents either overlook the need to teach their child basic principles or choose not to teach them for fear of overwhelming their child. You need not worry that you are pressuring your child if you are teaching him when his interest is piqued, and you are applying the reinforcement theory including the 80% rule (please see earlier blog about this subject.) Your child is likely capable of things beyond your expectations. Lovingly offer him the opportunity to try.

Canopy of Love

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Remember, teaching your child will become hollow and meaningless if not approached and presented in learning activities and games with love and patience. The loving relationship you have with your child supersedes the importance of teaching your child any particular skill, game, ability or concept. Tenderness must envelope everything you attempt to teach your child or else your most potent opportunities for bonding and teaching will be lost. So, as you are teaching your child the alphabet, keep in mind that your overridding objective is not the alphabet; it is the bond you are creating with your child as she grows. In all of your interactions, let there be a canopy of love casting its comforting shade on you and your child as you learn and grow together.

Building Your Child’s Ability to Discern Differences Using Sight, Sound and Touch

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By the time your child reaches the age of five she should have had ample opportunities to use her senses to help her understand the world around her. She should be able to listen to sounds that are nearly the same and detect the differences. She should be able to look at objects and pictures that are almost identical and be able to see slight differences. She should be able to identify objects that she cannot see by touching and feeling them and forming mental images of them. Concentrate on building these skills in your play activities and incidental teaching.

The results of this teaching may not become apparent until much later when your child is learning to read and do simple mathematics, but they will become apparent. Do not neglect the developmental opportunities provided by activities that develop the senses.