One night, an 87-year-old woman came home from Bingo to find her 92-year-old husband in bed with another woman. She became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony of their 20th floor apartment, killing him instantly. Brought before the court, on the charge of murder, she was asked if she had . . . → Read More: 92 Year Old Sex]]>

One night, an 87-year-old woman came home from Bingo to find her 92-year-old husband in bed with another woman. She became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony of their 20th floor apartment, killing him instantly. Brought before the court, on the charge of murder, she was asked if she had anything to say in her own defense.
‘Your Honor,’ she began coolly, ‘I figured that at 92, if he could screw, he could fly.’

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Worried the girl might become pregnant and adversely impact the family’s status, she consulted the family doctor.

The doctor told her that teenagers today were very wilful and any attempt to stop the girl would probably result in rebellion. . . . → Read More: 17 Year Old Girl Having Sex]]>
The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was having sex..

Worried the girl might become pregnant and adversely impact the family’s status, she consulted the family doctor.

The doctor told her that teenagers today were very wilful and any attempt to stop the girl would probably result in rebellion. He then told her to arrange for her daughter to be put on birth control and until then, talk to her and give her a box of condoms.

Later that evening, as her daughter was preparing for a date, the woman told her about the situation and handed her a box of condoms.

The girl burst out laughing and reached over to hug her mother, saying,

‘Oh Mom! You don’t have to worry about that! I’m dating Susan!’

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Harold is 95 and lives in a Senior Citizen Home.

Every night after dinner, Harold goes to a secluded garden behind the Center to sit and ponder his accomplishments and long life.

One evening, Mildred, age 87, wanders into the garden. They begin to chat and before they know it, several hours . . . → Read More: Nursing Home Sex]]>

Harold is 95 and lives in a Senior Citizen Home.

Every night after dinner, Harold goes to a secluded garden behind the Center to sit and ponder his accomplishments and long life.

One evening, Mildred, age 87, wanders into the garden. They begin to chat and before they know it, several hours have passed.

After a short lull in their conversation, Harold turns to Mildred and asks, ‘Do you know what I miss most of all?’

She asks, ‘What?’

‘Sex!!’ he replies

Mildred exclaims, ‘Why you old fart. You couldn’t get it up if I held a gun to your head!’

‘I know,’ Harold says, ‘but it would be nice if a woman could just hold it for a while.’

Well, I can oblige,’ says Mildred, who unzips his trousers, removes his manhood and proceeds to hold it. Afterward, they agree to meet secretly each night in the garden where they would sit and talk and Mildred would hold Harold’s manhood.

Then one night Harold didn’t show up at their usual meeting place. Alarmed, Mildred decided to find Harold and make sure he was O.K.

She walked around the Senior Citizen Home where she found him sitting by the pool with Ethel, another female resident, who was holding Harold’s manhood!

Furious, Mildred yelled, ‘You two-timing son-of-a-bitch! What does Ethel have that I don’t have?’

Old Harold smiled happily and replied, ‘Parkinson’s.’

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After dusting themselves off, the Nun and the Priest surveyed their situation. After a long period of silence, the Priest spoke. ‘Well, Sister, this looks pretty grim.’

‘I . . . → Read More: The Gift Of Life]]> A Nun and a Priest were crossing the Sahara desert on a camel. On the third day out, the camel suddenly dropped dead without warning..

After dusting themselves off, the Nun and the Priest surveyed their situation. After a long period of silence, the Priest spoke. ‘Well, Sister, this looks pretty grim.’

‘I know, Father. In fact, I don’t think it likely that we can survive more than a day or two.’

‘I agree,’ says the Father. ‘Sister, since we are unlikely to make it out of here alive, would you do something for me?’

‘Anything, Father.’

‘I have never seen a woman’s breasts and I was wondering if I might see yours.’

‘Well, under the circumstances I don’t see that it would do any harm.’

The Nun opened her habit and the Priest enjoyed the sight of her shapely breasts, commenting frequently on their beauty.

‘Sister, would you mind if I touched them?’ She consented and he fondled them for several minutes.

‘Father, could I ask something of you?’

‘Yes, Sister?’

‘I have never seen a man’s penis. Could I see yours?’

‘I suppose that would be OK,’ the Priest replied lifting his robe.

‘Oh Father, may I touch it?’

The priest consented and after a few minutes of fondling he was sporting a huge erection.

‘Sister, you know that if I insert my penis in the right place, it can give life.’

‘Is that true Father?’

‘Yes, it is, Sister.’

‘Oh Father, that’s wonderful… stick it in the camel and let’s get the hell out of here!’

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Always ask for a photo

Rule #2:

Always ask for more than one photo

Her mother reassured her: ”Don’t worry Maria, Tony’s a good man. Go upstairs and he’ll take care of you. Meanwhile, I’ll be making pasta.”

So, up she went. When she got upstairs,  Tony . . . → Read More: The Italian Virgin]]> Maria had just got married, and being a traditional Italian, she was still a virgin.
On her wedding night, she stayed at her mother’s house, and was very nervous.

Her mother reassured her: ”Don’t worry Maria, Tony’s a good man. Go upstairs and he’ll take care of you. Meanwhile, I’ll be making pasta.”

So, up she went. When she got upstairs,  Tony took off his shirt and exposed his hairy chest.  Maria ran downstairs to her mother and says,
“Mama, Mama, Tony’s got a big hairy chest.”

“Don’t worry, Maria,” says the mother,  ”All good men have hairy chests. Go upstairs. He’ll take good care of you.”

So, up she went again. When she got up in the bedroom, Tony took off his pants exposing his hairy legs. Again, Maria ran downstairs to her mother, ”Mama, Mama, Tony took off his pants and he’s got hairy legs!”
“Don’t worry! All good men have hairy legs. Tony’s a good man. Go upstairs and he’ll take good care of you.”

So, up she went again. When she got there, Tony took off his socks and on his left foot he was missing three toes. When Maria saw this, she ran downstairs. ”Mama, Mama, Tony’s got a foot and a half!”

Her Mama said, ”Stay here and stir the pasta.”

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