Burger Menu

Apology Contest

2014-05-20T19:05:00.001-04:00

Hey there burger enthusiasts! It's been a REALLY long time since I've written a review here, and for that I'm sorry. Work has been crazy, and I've been keeping up with another daily blog since the beginning of the year. Between that, and an upcoming move to Germany (I know, right?!), I've not been able to get a post up every week like I've wanted to. BUT, I hope to get back on track once I'm settled in good ol' Hamburg. I'm also looking for guest reviewers/bloggers who can help me take up some of the slack. If you're interested, shoot me an email at theburgermenu@gmail.com.

In the meantime, I've got a contest for you all. Tweet or Instagram a photo of you, or you and your friends, or your dog (or whoever really), looking sad with a burger, @burgermenu with the tag #burgerapology by Wednesday May 28th for a chance to win a $20 Umami Burger gift certificate! Good at any Umami Burger location, get a free burger meal on The Burger Menu! The winner will be drawn within a week of the contest closing. Think you can be the saddest burger enthusiast? Good luck!

Mess Hall

2014-03-12T10:00:00.000-04:00

Los Angeles, CA
messhallkitchen.com

The Order: Mess Hall Burger, medium rare. Slow onions, Vermont cheddar, b&b pickles, and smokey aioli on a brioche bun.
Side Order: Does not come with fries (add for $5 at lunch, $8 at dinner)
Lunch $10 - Dinner - $15
Drink Order: Stone IPA
Burger Menu Rating: 10.5/15

Located at Los Feliz Blvd and Hillhurst Ave. in Los Feliz, Mess Hall opened about a year and a half ago to widespread positive acclaim from local reviewers, but has remained relatively under the radar as a contender in the established Los Angeles burger scene. Head chef Keith Silverton has created a menu that falls into the ubiquitous category American (new), with a wide variety of options designed to appeal to the young Los Feliz and Silverlake crowds.

The Fanny Bay Oysters were an excellent starter for the meal with mild brininess and a cucumber finish.

Here in Los Angeles, like in other major metropolitan cities, there has been a resurgence in oysters as relatively cheap artisanal fare. The small selection of oysters here are moderately priced at around $3 each, and come with accurate descriptions. Like everywhere else, the Oysters help get you in the door to then spend your money on other higher priced items, except that the rest of the menu isn't so outrageously expensive that you mind. The entire menu is filled with upscale Southern food with items whose flavor pack a big punch to your mouth. A fried chicken sando with honey mustard on brioche. Buffalo wing confit. You'll come here wanting to satisfy cravings for big flavors and balance them all with beer and cocktails. The same applies to their burger which treads carefully at the edge of a flavor profile that could be a little too much.

This burger's onions are just pouring out all over the place.

When the Mess Hall Burger arrives, it's just ready to fall apart. I mean, it's amazing that they've managed to pile all of the toppings onto the burger and maintain a clean plate. As soon as you touch it it begins to ooze and drip cheese, onions and sauce. "It sure is a... messy burger," my friend Will exclaims while eating. Get it? Messy? But he's also correct. This thing will end up everywhere. Don't wear white when you come here, or you'll end up wearing this thing out.

First off, there are a ton of onions on this thing. They're all sweet and delicious, but are a bit much. Now, when you get a bite that has all of the ingredients they come together in your mouth to create an amazing and strong but balanced flavor that is at times sweet, tangy, salty and smokey. It's just a delight to savor the cheddar with the onions, and when the little bit of sourness comes through from the pickles, it's like your mouth has died and gone to heaven. There's plenty of cheese and pickles on this burger, but for some reason they're not evenly disbursed so many bites have a disproportionate amount of onions and when eaten alone they become overwhelmingly sweet. My recommendation? Remove the bun from the burger before attacking it, and use your knife and fork to more evenly disperse the toppings. You'll be more guaranteed to have delicious bites every single time.

The meat is a custom blend of brisket, chuck and flank steak with a 70% lean to 30% fat ratio that is delivered from Niman Ranch up near San Francisco and ground daily in-house. The large fat content in this burger is awesome, allowing a slightly larger margin of error when cooking and allows for good overall cohesion in the patty. The one big detriment to the burger, however, was that it was a bit overcooked! They were able to get a fantastic sear on the outside of the burger, so there was a little crunch to every bite, and the meat was nice and flaky, but if the burger is overcooked, you're going to lose points. It's not as if the place was all that busy so that the chef was churning out order after order and couldn't keep an eye on the patties we ordered. Regardless, at $10 for a lunch burger (no fries), this a really good deal for the amount of food, and the quality of the ingredients. Next time I'd stress it being cooked correctly, but overall an awesome burger. Also, don't miss out on their Monday Night Burger + Beer/Bourbon Deal for $15, or Tuesday night $1 Oysters!

Cooked Correctly: 4/5
Design/Ingredients: 3/4
Plating: 1/3
Value: 2.5/3

The Oinkster - March 2014 Burger of the Month

2014-03-05T10:00:00.000-05:00

Eagle Rock, CA
www.theoinkster.com

The Order: The St. Patrick's Burger. A 6 oz. corned beef brisket and ground beef patty with a bubble n' squeak fritter, Oinkster mustard, and pickles on a potato bun.
Side Order: No side.
$9
Drink Order: Lucky Charm Shake ($6)
Burger Menu Rating: 8/15

If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times. The Oinkster's burger is hands down my favorite pedestrian burger in Los Angeles. They began their official Burger of the Month specials in late 2012 and since then have produced a variety of interesting creations. From the Little Bear Burger to the Oklahoma Onion Burger, to the Chili Cheese Dog Burger, The Oinkster's creations are generally interesting takes on either classic burgers, or classic meals made into burgers, and are often in response to the upcoming season or holiday. This month's burger attempts to tackle a "classic" Irish dish, Corned Beef and Cabbage, and it does so with some success, but leaves something to be desired. It turns out that Corned Beef and Cabbage is about as truly Irish as green bagels are, so if The Oinkster missed the mark a little, we'll forgive them. A little

The Bubble n' Squeak Fritter nicely formed and placed on top of the patty.

When this burger comes out, you might ask yourself, "is this a hash brown?!" You wouldn't be that far off. A Bubble n' Squeak is a traditional English dish made from leftover roasted vegetables, generally potatoes and cabbage. It is so named because of the sounds it makes as it cooks in the pan. The Oinkster's version is a little bit bland. Having deep fried their version, the potatoes and cabbage are surrounded by a layer of breading which is a bit extraneous next to the potato bun. The potatoes in the fritter don't provide much more than a mushy mouthfeel next to the cabbage, which is slightly sour and left me wanting more.

The corned beef brisket and beef patty is certainly an interesting choice for the burger, but ultimately falls short as a choice for a burger meat blend. Brisket is cooked to tenderness over a long time, and when it's done, there's almost no fat left to hold it together. Adding back in some ground beef to up the fat content was a solid choice, but ended up playing down some of the brisket flavor. The end result was a strange combination that left me unsure of what flavor I should actually be tasting. It had some of the saltiness for sure, but overall the meat was a little bland. Or maybe the meat wasn't bland, but was just being completely overpowered by another ingredient: the mustard.

The corned beef had its distinctive pink color.

I've had the Oinkster Mustard a few times before. It's extremely strong, and on this burger, having a lot of it is a detriment to the overall balance of flavor. I understand that a lot of people eat their corned beef with mustard, but having a large amount smeared on the bottom of this burger just doesn't work. Stacking order people! The ingredients towards the bottom of the burger get the most tongue-time and influence all the flavors that come after! So with this burger, what I tasted was mostly mustard, with a little bit of corned beef flavor. Next time use less!

It sure is a good looking combo though.

This burger, like all their other sandwiches, does not automatically come with a side. As always, the fries at The Oinkster as delicious. But I wanted to get my hands on that shake, and I knew that if I ate the burger, fries and drank a shake that I would regret it for hours after. The Lucky Charms shake is absolutely delicious and there are giant marshmallows throughout the thick beverage, but therein lies the ultimate problem! My mouth was so tired from trying to suck those large chunks of cereal through the tiny little straw. Either get a bigger straw, use a spoon, or avoid this shake! But seriously, it was delicious.

Cooked Correctly: 5/5 Corned beef - no choice
Design/Ingredients: 1/4
Plating: 1/3
Value: 1/3

Burgeramt

2014-02-05T08:00:00.000-05:00

Hamburg, DE
burgeramt.com

The Order:
Phil - Chilliiie Cheese Burger, medium rare. With nachos, jalapeños, Gouda, Chillisauce, fresh onions, roasted onions, pickles, tomato and lettuce.
Kristin - Bacon Guacamole Burger, medium rare. With bacon, guacamole (Avocado Creme), fresh grilled peppers, roasted onions, braised onions and lettuce.
Side Order:
We both added fries and salad for €2.20
Phil - €4.90 + €2.20 = €7.10
Kristin - €4.90 + €2.20 = €7.10
Drink Order:
Phil - Berliner Pilsener
Kristin - Astra Alsterwasser
Burger Menu Rating: 8/15
Kristin's Burger Menu Rating: 9/15

Welcome to the new year! I know I've been absent for a long time and you've all been wondering where I've been. Don't lie. I know you've missed me and all the delicious, and not so delicious, burgers that I write about. I've been spending time working on another blog that I've started, which if you haven't seen yet, you should check it out. If you don't follow it this year, you'll miss it! Anyways, for my first post of the new year, the first post of February, I've got something a little different.

Kristin, the budding burger connoisseur. Taking things very seriously.

I spent over a month in Germany at the end of last year and ate quite a few burgers during my stay. My lovely girlfriend Kristin has been a great sport when it comes to my obsession with burgers, and they're starting to grow on her to the point that she's becoming very critical of the burgers that we eat together. It brings tears of joy to my eyes, let me tell you. So today what you get is a tandem review in the form of a conversation between Kristin and I!

PK: When the burgers first came out they were huge! Right? They looked really big!

KT: Yeah, and I can not finish it.

PK: Yeah. It's a good amount of food, but for a burger that's so big, the patty itself is surprisingly small. Surprisingly thin. What did you think with your first bit of the burger?

KT: I missed the flavor! I wanted something really delicious to bite into. And it has a little bit of a burned flavor. Maybe it's because of the bacon that it tastes a little bit burned? But it also has a weird aftertaste. Do you say this?

PK: Yeah.

KT: Maybe also a little bit too much onion for my taste. So maybe that's the reason that I didn't like it so much. I was hoping that it would have a little bit more guacamole, since it's called Bacon guacamole. So they should use less onions, and more..

PK: More of what the actual name is.

KT: And also maybe serve it with guacamole so that you can dip the burger.

Weird stacking order, and an over cooked burger.

PK: Sure! It was the same on mine. It's called the Chilliiie Cheese Burger but there was almost no chili on it. And usually on a Chili Cheese Burger the cheese is melted, or on any burger the cheese is melted, but here it's separated by a layer of tortilla chips and jalapeños so the cheese is ice cold. But definitely, the big problem here is that my burger is overcooked. Is yours?

KT: Yeah.

PK: Yeah. And if the standard here is medium rare—

KT: That's not medium rare.

PK: That's not medium rare. They're doing something a little wrong.

KT: But yours is more..

PK: Pinker than yours. Sure. But mine is only medium. But yours is—

KT: Look at mine. It's like a Frikadelle.

PK: Yours is gray. What'd you say?

KT: A Frikadelle.

PK: Oh, sure! Ha. But honestly, the best thing about my burger is the jalapeños. The jalapeños are really good. They're not so hot. They're spicy and smokey. They're really good. And the tortilla chips are a nice touch, but the stacking order on this burger is a little off. What about the fries?

The fries. A little boring. Or as Kristin put it: boring, boring, boring.

KT: If I say boring, boring, boring, then I mean boring, boring, boring.

PK: Yeah. I agree. They're undersalted, maybe, there's not enough—

KT: Yeah.

PK: They're certainly cooked correctly. Right? They're—

KT: They're missing the salt.

PK: It's just the flavor.

KT: Yeah.

PK: Overall though. Kind of disappointing. You certainly do get a lot of food. I'm three quarters of the way through my burgers and I can not finish. I might.. still, but—

KT: Ha.

PK: But I would be pushing it. Would you come here again?

The entire place is lined with music and movie posters. And they play movies like Lawrence of Arabia.

KT: The atmosphere is cool. With some people to go out and have a great time, yes. But not if I wanted to eat a burger. Like, if I said "I want to eat a burger tonight," I would not come here.

PK: I agree.

KT: I would go to one of the other places we've been in the last few—

PK: I mean it's more.. Definitely for the atmosphere, and if I want to eat a cheap meal. A cheap meal that's.. okay.

KT: Yeah, this you have to account for also.

PK: I mean, €4.90 for a burger, that's, what, $6.60 for a burger. That's a good deal for this size, for this amount of food. Because the patty is thin, but it's big, it has a big circumference.

KT: That's also maybe Berlin. In Berlin a lot of stuff is cheaper. Like, how much have we paid for a burger in Hamburg? Like ten or twelve bucks.

PK: For a good burger. Yeah.

KT: It's, for me, now I'm eating burgers more often, so I can.. Now I'm eating more more burgers so I can see the difference.

Phil's Burger Scores:
Cooked Correctly: 3/5 (extra point taken off because medium rare is "standard.")
Design/Ingredients: 1/4
Plating: 1.5
Value: 2.5 (Here's the kicker to this rating! The cost is great for the amount of food you get.)

Kristin's Burger Scores:
Cooked Correctly: 2/5
Design/Ingredients: 2/4
Plating: 2/3 (Liked the dishware!)
Value: 3

P.S. Burgers

2013-12-11T12:08:00.002-05:00

Mineola, NY
www.psburgers.com

The Order: The P.S. Paris, medium rare. With a fried egg, sauteed spinach, gruyere, smoked bacon, and Dijon honey mustard.
Side Order: Gruyere Fries (+$1.75)
$8.95 + $1.75 = $10.70
Drink Order: Coca-Cola
Burger Menu Rating: 8.5/15

This relatively new and tiny little place in Mineola right by the train station has caught my eye numerous times as I made my way down 2nd St. to the Black Sheep Ale House (hands down the best beer bar in Nassau County). Brightly lit, and sparsely decorated, P.S. Burgers stands out from the rest of the stores (Wong's Noodle House, St. James, etc.) on the street. With windows emblazoned with stamps featuring the likeness of burgers, P.S. Burgers promises burgers themed and styled from cuisine around the world.

Brandon and Kana. Super excited about eating burgers. Who wouldn't be?

Accompanied by my friends Brandon and Kana, I finally made my way inside P.S. Burgers for a late lunch. The place was basically deserted, and was spotless. There was no evidence that prior to our being there, the restaurant was packed, churning out burger after burger. But luckily for us there was no line, so our wait time was short (I've heard that peak hour wait times here are upwards of 15 minutes - not very fast). I was surprised, though, when I was able to order my burger cooked medium rare. A place like this, with what were evidently thin patties, often doesn't allow, or even try, cooking the burgers to temperature.

The yellowing of the picture doesn't do it justice.

Well the burger was overcooked. I'm sure they tried to make it medium rare, and given such a small patty, I'm surprised they even tried, but it was still overcooked to medium well (-2). The other disappointing thing about the burger was that the fried egg was cooked over well. I wasn't given a choice, but with an egg on a burger, I've come to expect it to be at least over medium, if not over easy. Who doesn't want delicious runny egg yolk all over the burger?! That being said, those were the only two disappointing things about the burger. There was so much flavor involved in this burger that it was hard to stop and think about what I was eating! The cooked spinach with the egg and bacon worked really well. It was like eating breakfast on top of my burger. The bun - I went with the brioche - was slightly charred, but not too much. It was fantastic for sopping up the juices and holding the entire burger together while not overwhelming with the additional char flavor.

Gruyere Fries. Sounds amazing right? Totally not worth it for the amount of actual cheese on the fries. But, had there been more, it would have ended up a cold lumpy cheese mess. I'd skip the Gruyere Fries and go for the regular fries. The sweet potato fries were also soggy and disappointing.

What's great about the menu here are the options. Not only is every burger interesting, but you can specify what bread, what meat, what everything. Not that that's anything new in the burger world, but the ingredients here are really good. The price point is also a little high, but given the options, it's something I'm willing to look past. They also just recently opened up a second location in the West Village, and at both locations you can order online for pick up, or delivery. I'd definitely make another trip back here to try some of their other burgers, but stress that they really shouldn't leave the burger on the grill as long as they think they need to.

Cooked Correctly: 3/5
Design/Ingredients: 2.5/4
Plating: 1.5/3
Value: 1.5/3

Roberta's

2013-12-04T13:03:00.001-05:00

Brooklyn, NY
www.robertaspizza.com

The Order: Cheeseburger, medium rare. With American cheese, romaine and onion on a Potato bun.
Side Order: Comes with flash-fried potatoes.
$12
Drink Order: Mission IPA
Burger Menu Rating: 6/15

When I went to Roberta's in Bushwick, I didn't have very high expectations for a good burger from a decidedly pizza-oriented restaurant. However, I think I saw somewhere that someone else had given it a positive review, so why not, right? This burger is only available on their lunch menu, so don't even try to get this one at any other time.

The whirling bustle that is the Roberta's pizza kitchen.

When you walk in, the first thing you see to your left is the kitchen, a bustling whirl of pizza-making activity. The chefs are all hard at work cranking out pizza after pizza for the myriad customers seated at the benches throughout Roberta's. The entire place is fairly bright and open, and there's a great community vibe.

First of all, the bun was toasted which is great, but the problem was that it was incredibly greasy. It's also got a lot of salt content for some reason (maybe heated with a pad of salted butter on it, or spread on it?). My fingers were greasy and messy, and not from the meat or meat juices, but just from the bun itself. Otherwise, it was nicely toasted with a decent crunch and a softness to the inside.

The meat was a decent medium coarse grind, but unfortunately that's where the good things I can say about the meat stop. The meat was worked way too much, to the point that the consistency was almost like pate, and it was so undercooked that some parts were almost raw (-3). I appreciate a burger that's cooked to a good medium rare, but when parts of the meat are cold, and I can use my knife to spread the meat easily on the plate, there's definitely something wrong. The patty was extremely greasy as well, soaking the bottom bun. Disappointing. Oddly enough, eating a small piece of the meat and then the bun on its own revealed that the bun was the salty culprit and NOT the meat, which was not nearly salted enough!

Undercooked goopy meat! Definitely not medium rare.

The romaine and onions were crisp and fresh, adding a nice crunch and brightness to the overall burger flavor. However, the only real other burger flavors here were oil and salt to the flavors of the toppings doesn't really go so far as to make this a good burger.

Another shot of undercooked meat. For good measure.

The trend of the meal being too salty continued with the fries! Oh joy! More salt to help balance out the flavors of salt and grease in this meal. The fries' only real problem was the saltiness. They were meaty and perfectly cooked, and maybe being over-salted would have been forgiven if not for the burger, but in this meal, they started out playing one man down.

The meal comes with mayo, ketchup and deli mustard on the side for the fries. I recommend adding some combination of the mayo and the mustard to the burger to make it palatable, and leave the ketchup for the fries, or don't use it at all. The ketchup adds more salt to the, already, salty meal, but the mayo and mustard round out and add other flavors. The general consensus at the table was that the overall the meal was just too salty and greasy. All three of us couldn't finish our burgers or fries. You can see from the pictures below that this place is pretty cool though. They throw a block party every year, and recently opened an outdoor area that can also be rented for events. But the burger is not something you want to order. Roberta's is a pizza restaurant. They, and you, should stick to what they do best.

Cooked Correctly: 2/5
Design/Ingredients: 1/4
Plating: 2/3
Value: 1/3

Zsa Zsa Burger

2013-11-27T09:24:00.001-05:00

Berlin, DE
www.zsazsaburger.de

The Order: The Daffy Duck. Fried duck with hoisin yoghurt and plum dip. Lettuce, tomato onion and pickles on the side. Choice of sour dough (mistranslation - should be white) or whole wheat. No choice of how to cook the duck (-1).
Side Order: Comes with home fries and cole slaw
€11,30
Drink Order: Heineken (on tap! - Woo Germany!)
Burger Menu Rating: 7/15

Located in the northern part of Schöneberg in Berlin, and right near the Nollendorfplatz U-Bahn station on Motzstrasse, Zsa Zsa burger sticks out amongst its surroundings, especially at night. All around are tattoo parlors and leather shops, and not a single one of them are open past 7pm. There are a couple other restaurants or cafes scattered around that are open, but none are so brilliantly lit up, or quite so trendy as Zsa Zsa is. As you walk into the brightly lit restaurant, you're greeted by sparsely adorned walls, mirrors, antique odds and ends, and a deer skull. These kinds of stylings are all the rage in Berlin these days, as trendy cafes pop up all over. Mostly, though, they're all cafes and coffee shops. In Zsa Zsa we have a burger restaurant.

Look how fancy this place is.

Zsa Zsa is clearly catering to both foreigners and German natives (they give you forks and knives in a bucket on the table so you can make your own choice). As we sat down, we noticed three different parties of English-speakers scattered throughout the restaurant, so they're definitely doing something right in that regard. Whether that's because their website is in both English and German from the get-go, or for some other reason, is unknown to me. The menu is also both in German and English, and starts off slowly with the usual classics, but then things get crazy! You've got your hamburger, breakfast burger, mexican burger, and Blue Cheese Burger, but then you've got a Cuban burger, a Spanish (Iberico) burger, an Italian burger, Asian, African, duck, and chicken! Check out the Egyptian: beef with dried figs, goat cheese and thyme honey au gratin. What?! That sounds amazing. A great array of flavors here. You could come here all the time and not get bored.

The Egyptian. This one was ordered medium. Cooked correctly.

First of all, the onions that came with my burger weren't regular uncooked onions. They were fried onions. That's fine, but you've got to be specific on your menu! I looked at my burger, which consisted of mere pieces of duck, then looked at the pile of toppings and decided to dump them all on top of the burger. Then I tasted the plum sauce. Wham. Loads of flavor here, and pieces of plum mixed in as well. The sauce was sweet, but not tangy or anything else, but this sugary explosion didn't need a built in counterpoint to balance it out. The duck and onions would do that. So instead of using it as a 'dipping sauce' I slathered it on the bun. The bun, by the way, wasn't Sourdough. There was a bad translation though, and that was definitely disappointing. The flavor of Sourdough would have been excellent on this kind of burger. But, the end result was pretty good. The plum sauce was sweet and mixed with the salty flavors of duck and onion, the burger was quite tasty. Unfortunately, the hoisin yoghurt was totally overpowered. When tried on its own it didn't do much anyways and just kind of tasted like yoghurt. What was nice was that the duck had the skin and fat on it. It was cut into strips and laid on the bun. It kind of paled in comparison to my girlfriend's beef burger, but with everything piled on, it was pretty substantial.

Skimpy duck pieces on my Daffy Duck.

This, unfortunately, doesn't really count as a burger. It wasn't even a patty of any kind. I expected the duck to be ground quickly post cooking into a patty, or to have it at least be a full piece of duck, or even to have a big pile of duck to make an impressive sandwich, but the slim amount of duck, combined with its overall lack of burger-ness was a bit disappointing. The duck was also overcooked. Sure the skin was fried and crispy, but the meat itself was cooked to medium/medium-well, and when you're serving duck breast, you DEFINITELY want it to be medium rare. It's far juicier, and the meat isn't all tough and unsatisfying. So all in all my burger was a bit unsatisfying. Sure I was full afterwards, but there was a wow-factor in this burger that I was expecting because of the ingredients. Not like my girlfriend's burger. Which looked and tasted awesome.

I'd totally come back for this.

The fries also left something to be desired. Uniformly cooked, and seasoned with a bit of salt, the flavor, even with ketchup, didn't stand up to the strong sweet and salty flavors. They were a bit thickly cut too. They weren't quite the size of steak fries, but bigger than a normal medium cut. On a side note, the more I eat burgers and fries, the more I feel like chefs add on the fries as an afterthought with no concern to how the flavors pair with the burgers they're being served alongside. The cole slaw as an additional side was nice. It was tangy, a little bit sour, and the carrots and cabbage in it were crisp. It was actually some damn good cole slaw.

So what would bring me back to Zsa Zsa? Besides the Egyptian? All the other beef burger options. And the add-ons. Basically any ingredient on any of their burgers, plus a few others, are all options you can add to the burger you're eating, which basically gives you a massive number of burger creations for your eating pleasure. And if they cook the burger as well as they did in the above picture, I would definitely make the trek out here to try this again. I just wouldn't get the duck burger again.

Cooked Correctly: 2.5/5
Design/Ingredients: 1.5/4
Plating: 2/3
Value: 1/3 (not enough duck meat)

Brooklyn Burger Bar

2013-11-20T14:26:00.002-05:00

Hamburg, DE
www.brooklynburgerbar.de

The Order: The Def Jam, medium rare. Beef with Fourme d'Ambert, Arugula, Beefsteak Tomato, and Bacon Marmalade.
Side Order: Sweet Potato Fries, with Red Ranch Dip. Fried in Canola oil and tossed with sea salt and cayenne.
€10 + €4,50 = €14,50
Drink Order: Pilsner Urquell
Burger Menu Rating: 9/15

I know what you were thinking. A new burger place in Brooklyn! Well you thought wrong. Sorry to disappoint. But for all you Germans reading this. YOU can be excited about a new burger joint in Hamburg! The new Brooklyn Burger Bar (the 2nd "NY Style" burger restaurant in Hamburg), from owner Steffen Schröder of Streit's Lounge, is doing some interesting things with their burgers, and with a dedication to sourcing locally, and making everything in-house, you can be sure that they care about their product. The buns are made by a local bakery that uses only organic ingredients for the buns, delivered fresh every day. The same goes for all the sauces they use. The beef is supplied from a distributor in the north of Germany. It's grass-fed and the cows are raised (somewhere) in the north of Germany as well.

As far as taste goes, this burger is doing something right, and something a little different, but it's really difficult to put my finger on it. The Fourme d'Ambert, one of the oldest French cheeses - a blue cheese - adds a nice musky flavor, but overall this burger is really salty, and it's salty to a point of distraction! Perhaps it was the bacon marmalade, which was delicious and added a nice texture that was slightly buttery but with big firm chunks in it. My experience with bacon in Germany has been that it's generally very salty, so perhaps the bacon and the amount of salt they used on the patty combined to overwhelm the rest of the flavors of the burger. That all being said, there were some other spices in play here that I couldn't exactly figure out. It was almost a combination of Middle Eastern spices, or some kind of curry powder on there as well. There was a distinct tang to the flavor of the meat that I was able to discern that had me very excited.

The Def Jam laid open. Unfortunately overcooked to medium, instead of medium rare.

The other thing about this burger was that unfortunately as I ate my way from the center to the outside, it got less and less exciting. The patty was overcooked (-1) to begin with, but then it was also very unevenly cooked. Towards the edges, the patty became completely gray, dry and a bit tough (-1). This burger could have easily scored an 11/15 just by cooking this correctly. Perhaps they didn't compress the center of the patty, and maybe the grill wasn't hot enough. Either way, the cooking of the patty could use some help here. Overall there's room for improvement on the burger. Being cooked correctly would be the first major order of business, and then balancing out the flavors would follow. If they can pull that off, they'll have one heck of a burger here.

The sweet potato fries and spicy ranch dip are pretty stellar. If you're reading this Steffen, PLEASE DON'T CHANGE ANYTHING ABOUT THEM! They were addicting and perfect. A tiny bit of smokiness, the right amount of salt and cayenne, and the ranch dip made these things impossible to put down. By the end of the meal, we were all full, but still chowing down on our healthy portions of fries. €4,50 is a bit steep for this side, but I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't pay for it every time I went there.

The Brooklyn Classic, with Romaine, Beefsteak Tomato, Red Onion, Pickles and Ketchup.

Aside from burgers, which dominate their food menu, Brooklyn Burger Bar also serves two salads, two other meat dishes (the chili sounds the most intriguing), and a boatload of delicious cocktails. We sampled a few that were all spectacular. Given Schröder's bar experience in Hamburg already, this is nothing less than should be expected from his new venture.

If you're planning on going here, plan on being disappointed. Not by their food. When we left were full, and satisfied. No, plan on being disappointed by the inability to get a table at this place. Two of us had to email and call multiple times to try to get a reservation. Here's an insider's tip: make sure you try to make the reservation at least two days in advance. However, this isn't a guarantee that they'll actually write you back. Don't bother calling, and don't bother sending them an email like their answering machine tells you to. Send them a message through their Facebook account. It took them a full day and a half to write back to me to tell me they didn't have a reservation for me, by which point my friend had a reservation already (who wrote a day after I did).

If this doesn't say 'classy', I don't know what does.

On top of all of that, everybody in town is talking about 'the new burger restaurant on Alter Fischmarkt by the Scientology place' so don't expect to be able to walk in and get a table, or even a seat at the bar, unless MAYBE you get there right at 6pm when they open, and they're in a charitable mood. They're swamped every single night, with every table booked. If the masses are any indication, they're doing something right. Granted the burger scene in Hamburg isn't much to speak about on the whole, but as they get settled get everything figured out, and if they can make some major, but easy, improvements, Brooklyn Burger Bar is sure to be a fixture in Hamburg for years to come.

Cooked Correctly: 3/5
Design/Ingredients: 2.5/4
Plating: 2/3
Value: 1.5/3

Ramen Burger

2013-11-13T17:44:00.000-05:00

Brooklyn, NY (Smorgasburg)
www.facebook.com/RamenBurger

The Order: A Ramen Burger, medium. With cheese (white American), scallions, arugula and a secret sauce (Shoyu?), all on a ramen noodle bun.
Side order: No sides available
$8 + $1 (cheese) = $9
Drink Order: Oi Ocha unsweetened Green Tea.
Burger Menu Rating: 11/15

My Ramen Burger journey began on August 1st, 2013, with Eataku's announcement that Keizo Shimamoto would be bringing his version of the Ramen Burger to Williamsburg on August 8th. And what misfortune I had! That morning, I would be flying out to Los Angeles for work! I tried my best to enlist the help of various foodie friends in going to try this delicious burger, but to no avail. Even my sister, Ramen Lady, couldn't go (she's taking a bit of a break from Ramen Blogging what with her son being recently born and all). My mouth was watering and I couldn't get anybody to go. And what a fail on my part! It isn't often that I know of these momentous burger happenings BEFORE they happen, and yet I still couldn't get a guest blogger to go in my stead. Alas. What is the world coming to.

Over the next few months, I was thwarted at every turn. It seemed that every Saturday from August til the middle of October, I was either working, or out of town working. That is, until the morning of October 19th! In reality, that day's expedition began the evening before. I got back into town from Los Angeles a week early, and was using that time to go out and see friends. That Friday Night, the 18th, my friends and I had tickets to go see Eric Prydz and Jeremy Olander spin at Hammerstein, but would I let that stop me from getting a Ramen Burger?! No!! There was no way in hell I was going to let a night of partying til past 4:00AM get in the way of me getting a burger, and having heard about the limited number of burgers being sold every weekend, I was determined to be there early enough to get a burger.

Look at all the fun I was having until VERY EARLY IN THE MORNING.

I dragged myself out of bed at 8:30 in the morning to get dressed and get over to Smorgasburg. 8:30 in the morning on a Saturday morning isn't so bad by itself, but after going to sleep at almost 5 in the morning it's a bit rough.

This is me after sleeping for almost NO HOURS.

I'd heard that the line at the Sun Noodle Lab stand would be long, and that there would only be a limited number of burgers, so getting there at about 9:30 in the morning, 1.5 hours before opening, seemed like a perfect time. Right? I mean, if you were craving this burger for months, and finally had ONE opportunity to go, wouldn't you want to make sure you didn't fuck it up? Exactly. So 1.5 hours was the PERFECT amount of time. I got there so early that.. well... they hadn't actually started setting up their stand yet.

This is what victory looks like. Somewhat desolate actually.

Keizo and his cadre began to set up their stand at about 10am.

At about 10:00 they began setting up there stand, and Keizo came over to me, asking if I was waiting for a Ramen burger. There was a mixture of bemusement and disbelief on his face as I said that I was, in fact, waiting for one of his burgers. He moved me over to where they formed the line, and THAT was when it dawned on me. Not only was I DEFINITELY going to get a burger, but I was the FIRST in line that day. So I could've definitely come a little later, but then I would've missed out on what happened to me only a little while later on.

Keizo, seasoning and cooking the burger patties.

I started to get very excited, though a bit confused, because by 10:30 or so, Keizo was cooking burgers and heating up Ramen buns. There was no way they could be preparing these for the people they were going to be selling to. At that point, there were only about 4 of us in line, and the stand wasn't supposed to open for half an hour!

Ramen buns warming on the grill.

To add to my confusion, it seemed like they were plating and taking lots of pictures of the burgers they were making. Surely they'd done this back in August when they debuted the Ramen Burger? And then they all huddle in a circle and at them! The tyranny! Then it hit me. Something new must be going on here. Then, 11:00 rolled around and Keizo came to talk to the line of people no waiting, probably about 30 of us). He thanked us all for waiting, and told us that there was something new for us! The first release in the US of Keizo's Ramen Burger with Cheese! And I was going to be the FIRST TO GET ONE!! Fuck yeah! Getting up early totally rules!

This is me. FIRST IN LINE, BITCHES! Also looking much happier than I was a few hours earlier.

The front table: Prep and plating.

They pre-warm the bun and have all the ingredients fresh and ready to plate your burger in front of your eyes. A big bunch of arugula, then the patty goes down, followed by the scallions and the sauce.

It was like Christmas morning.

Then the whole thing gets wrapped up in PleatPak, a nifty little eco-friendly recycled paper wrapper that forms a kind of cup and captures your burger juices and droppings.

Finally unwrapped out of its sultry sultry shell!

The burger is everything you hope and expect that it will be. The Ramen bun held up well, and the burger overall was a fantastic mixture of Asian flavors. The meat was a little too tightly packed, and was cooked Medium as a standard, both detriments to this burger's score, but the scallions, sauce and ramen came together for something altogether different and interesting. The mouthfeel alone is worth it. The bun was firm but soft and pliable, and the juices helped to soften and keep the bun warm. The other ingredients are fresh, and add bursts of flavor in every bite. Everything, that is, except for the white American Cheese. As far as cheeses go, American cheese doesn't really excite in anyways. It's got a bit of a pasty mouthfeel, and doesn't particularly add any flavor to the burger, especially when the other ingredients have such strong and distinct flavors. Perhaps if this was a cheese with a bit of a sharper flavor profile, it would be worth the extra $1, but considering the price of American cheese in any supermarket, what you're getting is worth much less than the extra $1.

The whole burger is actually a bit reminiscent of "The Anime" burger from Go Burger a while back, although that was a completely different kind of richness (pork belly?! mmmmm). This burger is much more simple. Refined and elegant in its use of ingredients. Would I go on a Ramen Burger journey again? Yes. Would I go again at 9:30 in the morning after partying all night? No. Would I go for the cheese again? No. But all in all this was a very good burger. And while all the other 'substitute-bun' burgers are trying to gain their place in America's stomachs (is it just me, or does the "Mac-Attack Burger" look disgusting in EVERY picture), this is one burger that isn't just a fad. It's here to stay.

Cooked Correctly: 4/5 (no choice - medium)
Design/Ingredients: 3/4
Value: 2/3 (3/3 without cheese)
Plating: 2/3

Goodburger

2013-10-09T22:27:00.000-04:00

Manhattan, NY
www.goodburgerny.com

The Order: Classic (1/3 lb) medium rare. No cheese, 'the works' (lettuce, tomato, onion, pickle, ketchup, mustard, mayo).
Side Order: Fries (2.99 - Combo add soda and fries for 4.36)
$6.43 + $2.99 = Drink Order: Mountain Dew
Burger Menu Rating: 8/15

First of all. Pepsi?! C'mon Goodburger! Get with the times! Pepsi's whole "Blind Taste Test" thing was a sham! I don't know a single person that likes Pepsi over Coca Cola! Not a single one! Anyways, I've walked past the Goodburger locations many a time and figured I should go here at least once. You know. Because, the 90s. I mean.. Welcome to Goodburger. Home of the Goodburger. Can I take your order? I was working near the location on 8th Avenue near 57th, and had just enough time at a lunch break to go over and get a burger.

I tried to order a single goodburger (1/4 lb) medium rare. The hostess said that I could only get that particular burger cooked to medium well, but that I could get the Classic (1/3 lb) cooked medium rare. Okay! Good call hostess. With the works? Okay! No cheese, it doesn't come with cheese. But you can add cheddar for $0.69 if you really want to.

The slanted grill a la George Foreman.

They cooked the burger on a slanted grill so the grease runs off. Good? Bad? Healthier? You decide. My burger was still awesomely juicy, though slightly past med rare. -1 point! The patty also wasn't packed and worked too much, which is always a good sign! Their patties are made from 100% Hereford beef, hand-ground and cut into patties at Goodburger's offsite prep facility and then the patties, along with all the other ingredients, are delivered to each facility each morning.

Cooked a little past medium rare.

They definitely cooked the burger to order. I love that, even though it wasn't perfect. And even though this place feels like a fast food joint, the toppings were fresh, and they started cooking at the time of my order.

Super fresh ingredients!

They also didn't completely overdo it with the sauces. Even though there was a small amount of sauciness, there still wasn't very much burger meat taste. Still, this is a decent pedestrian burger, especially with how juicy it was.

The fries were pretty good. Small cut, some were extremely salty, and others were incredibly bland. They need to toss them a little better when seasoning the fries. You do however get a ton of fries in that bag. As far as a fast food burger goes, I'd definitely choose a local chain like Goodburger over a larger national chain such as McDonalds, etc.

Cooked Correctly: 4/5
Design/Ingredients: 1.5/4
Plating: 1/3 - Branded, but with paper plates
Value: 1.5/3 - A good size for the price.

Plan Check Kitchen + Bar

2013-10-02T14:59:00.000-04:00

Los Angeles, CA
www.plancheck.com

The Order: Chefs Favorite Burger, medium rare. With cheese two ways, bacon two ways, ketchup leather, sunny fried egg, and hot sauce.
Side Order: Sweet Potato Waffle Fries cooked in with Peach Ketchup.
$13 + $6 = $19
Drink Order: Ballast Point Sculpin IPA
Burger Menu Rating: 14/15

I've finally done it! After a year of trying and waiting and not having time to go. After all of the times I've been in LA this year alone (three times!!). After hoping and wanting to try this burger since April and not being able to try it. I finally got to go on Monday night, and it was all kinds of delicious.

If you've read my review of Umami Burger then you know I was never too impressed with the burgers there. They were solid burgers, but not worth all the hype that surrounded the then LA-based establishment. But there was definitely something there that was worth building upon and as soon as I'd heard in April 2012 that Ernesto Uchimura had split with Umami and opened a new place touting an amazing burger, I was optimistic. Then the reviews started coming out and friends started going to eat the burgers. I knew I had to go there.

To be clear, there are two burgers that are worth trying here. There's the Plan Check Burger, which is Uchimura's unique take on a regular diner-style burger. The ingredients are all the same, but they're all jazzed up in a way with new textures and tangy flavors to excite your taste buds. This is all from a few friends that have been there as repeat customers to get their burger fix.

The second burger to try is the Chefs Favorite Burger, which is something new and amazing alltogether. The ingredients aren't anything new here either, but the flavor combinations all work in tandem creating something rich and amazing. A perfect mashup of salty and sweet ingredients work to make this burger one you're sure to remember.

Well plated, this is a good looking burger meal.

First the salty: The meat was cooked perfectly and was extremely juicy, with a perfect fat distribution. Not over-handled, the meat was crumbly and a great slightly less than medium grind. In the first bite, there were so many flavors, but the thing that really stood out was the meat taste. Even with all the other toppings competing with the burger patty, the patty was seasoned in such a way that the slightly coppery beefy flavor was still the focus.

Then there were the bacons and the cheeses. You'll have noticed that there were two cheeses AND two bacons on this burger. The bartender was kind enough to describe the differences between the two cheeses and the two bacons for me. The fried cheese crisp was a custom hand-mixed Americanized Dashi Cheese recalling both the sweetness of cheddar and the savory flavors of seaweed and mushrooms (the Umami for which Uchimura has made his burger name). The other cheese was a soft bacon cheese, more akin to a spread than anything else. Then there was a strip of regular bacon on the burger, and one strip of candied bacon. These were laid out in the standard fast-casual X configuration on the burger so that at times I was tasting either the salty bacon or the sweet bacon, or the one or two amazing bites from the middle in which I got both. Not only did these ingredients provide their own balanced and exciting tastes to the mix, but they offered a substantial amount of texture as well. Not too hard or too soft, but just the right amount of resistance, snap and crunch in every bite.

Then there was the sweet counterpart: the ketchup leather and the bun. The ketchup leather was sweet and tangy, a bright red sauce lathered onto the bottom of the burger so the flavors were able to contend with the myriad salty ingredients. It hit my tongue like a hurricane, enveloping it in rich flavor before mingling with it's compatriots. Then there was the bun. Perfect for sopping up all the juices and dense enough to hold it all together, all with a little bit of sweetness to the bun. And top top the sweet flavors off, the candied bacon's sugary coating would pop through every once in a while and give my taste buds the old razzledazzle.

All of these ingredients worked together magically, but let's not forget about the fried egg. How many times have I reviewed burgers that looked promising and had a fried egg on top, only to discover that the egg has negligently been overcooked and thrown on top of a burger to which it added almost nothing? A lot! But this egg was cooked over easy so the yolk oozed and dripped out onto the rest of the burger as I ate it.

The waffle fries. A good portion, but lackluster.

As for the side I got, the Sweet Potato Waffle Fries were tasty, but a little underwhelming. The beef tallow doesn't add as much flavor to the dish, which is unfortunate. They were a little under-salted or under-seasoned, which is probably because of the beef tallow's inclusion, but especially when dipped in the pear ketchup, the overall flavor was just too sweet. The pear ketchup, as the bartender put it, was 'like crack' and tasted fantastic, but it would be better served on a fried chicken biscuit sandwich, or something that is inherently salty.

Overall the service was fast and very friendly. From ordering to eating, the burger was only about 10 minutes, if that much. The bartender was extremely helpful and personable, and pointed out Uchimura to me when I asked. Uchimura is in the restaurant most nights of the week, unless he's out working on the other two soon-to-open locations in Los Angeles. I have to say that I was a bit of a fanboy and totally clammed up when I introduced myself to Uchimura. Burger Blogger Fail. The same happened to me when I met Kenji Lopez-Alt. To his credit, Uchimura was super nice, and very appreciative of my stammering compliments. One day I won't make a fool of myself! One day. Until that day, I hope Uchimura knows he's created a fantastic burger. Watchout there Stout. This is definitely a contender for my LA #1.

Cooked Correctly: 5/5
Design/Ingredients: 3.5/4 - Waffle Fries were lackluster
Plating: 3/3
Value: 2.5/3

The Burger Joint at Le Parker Meridien

2013-08-07T21:08:00.000-04:00

Manhattan, NY
www.parkermeridien.com/eat4.php

The Order: Cheeseburger, medium rare. With 'The Works' (lettuce, tomato, onion, sliced pickles, ketchup, mayo, mustard).
Side Order: Fries $3.90
$8.04 + $3.90 = $11.94
Drink Order: Sam Adams Boston Lager
Burger Menu Rating: 8.5/15

Walking into Le Parker Meridien from their 56th avenue entrance, you're greeted with large columns, marble floors, tall ceilings, and a wall of mirrors. Nothing to suggest that there's a secret burger restaurant tucked away. Of course, if you've heard anything about The Burger Joint at Le Parker Meridien, as a lot of people have, this is nothing new. But there still is that excitement of the first time going, as if you don't believe it's really going to be there. When you walk in, it's a large quiet, echo-filled hall and as you look around for the tell-tale neon sign that quietly marks the entrance to The Burger Joint, you begin to hear faint, muffled rock music. And suddenly you see the sign. It's real! It's not some big practical joke that hundreds of thousands of previous would be patrons are in on.

I saw the sign... and it... opened up my eyes..

You walk down the corridor. The music gets louder, and the lighting dimmer, until you turn the corner and BAM!, you're inside the mythical place. A divey burger-bar hidden in the lobby of a swanky hotel. Where do I learn the secret handshake? A tip of the hat to the marketing geniuses behind this one. My interest was piqued from the get-go. And now to have my expectations filled.

When you get in line, and there's always a small line that moves quickly, you notice a dimly lit, cardboard, and hand-written sign that states the rules of this particular burger joint. Any patrons of Pat's, in Philadelphia, already know the drill - know exactly what you want before you get up to the register, or you will be sent to the back of the line. Ahead of me, a couple of tourists. They clearly haven't read the sign as they get up to the top and the somewhat annoyed and taciturn lady taking orders tells everyone in line behind them to come on up and skip them. Time is obviously being wasted here. I step right up and order with confidence. My only question: where the hell is the drink list? Oh. It's this tiny little other hand-written sign that also spells out exactly how much everything costs. HOLY SHIT. This is going to be more expensive than I thought. $8 for a cheeseburger?! At this little dive?! I have to remind myself I'm in a swanky hotel and the theme of The Burger Joint is just a facade. So I cough up the $18+ dollars for a burger, fries and a beer and am lucky to find an unoccupied stool in this tiny place.

Similar rules to Pat's in Philadelphia.

The orders fly out of the kitchen at breakneck speed. Another woman behind the counter, who is also clearly 'over it', shouts out name after name. When she gets to mine, I leap up and am quickly in front of the counter. But even while I'm standing there, quickly snapping a picture, albeit a very poor one, of the small menu, my name continues to be shouted across the room. She hasn't looked up, or heard me say "that's me!" to her repeatedly, so finally I have to lean over the counter, wave my hand and reach for the oil-soaked paper-wrapped packages of delicious goodness.

Sitting down, I ripped open the sopping brown bag of fries and unwrapped the burger to reveal what I've been waiting for. The burger wasn't smooshed, but slightly askew, revealing the myriad ingredients stacked on this burger. I would have loved to have been able to say that 'this was clearly done on purpose so when the burger is unwrapped you can see everything this burger has to offer' but it was more clear, because of the speed of the chefs, that this was quickly and haphazardly slammed together in an effort to move the burgers out of the kitchen as fast as humanly possible. That being said, the burger was only SLIGHTLY askew. The kitchen here, it seems, is a fairly well-oiled machine.

At first it seemed a perfect medium rare. But alas, I was deceived.

The burger at the middle was a pretty perfect medium rare and the patty was fairly thick. Both good signs and great to see, especially at such a talked-about restaurant. But that was definitely not the case across the entire patty. After the first three or four bites from the center, the meat quickly lost it's vibrant pink and took on a more gray color (Please forgive the bad pictures. This was a spur of the moment visit.). The flavor of the meat was fairly present, but only really towards the edges of the burger. However, the culprits here seemed to be the other ingredients, rather than the patty itself. While the crunch of the lettuce, tomato, onion and pickle revealed fresh, tasty ingredients, the amount of sauce on the burger was a bit overwhelming, lending the taste of the entire burger to the tangy flavors of ketchup and less to the balanced, or beef-driven flavors I've grown accustomed to in high end burgers.

And then the fries. What a disappointment! It had been a long time since I'd eaten fries that were so oily that I couldn't continue eating them before I'd gotten halfway through. With almost no salt, or other seasoning, to speak of, these fries were almost tasteless, and totally unsatisfying. Only by dipping every single fry into ketchup could I eat any more of them.

If you remove the hype surrounding the 'secrecy' of this tiny little burger joint, What we're left with is a normal, diner-style, cheeseburger that, while being tasty, a decent amount of food, and made with quality ingredients, is only barely worth the price tag. It's not a problem of the ingredients, but a problem of execution. The meat wasn't perfectly cooked and the sauce was overpowering. For that kind of price, I expected a little bit more effort. Perhaps, though, my expectation had gotten too high with the excitement of finding out about The Burger Joint's secret location. There's no doubt that this was a good, even above-average burger, but for my part, it didn't deserve the top ten NYC rankings. Do I feel duped? No. Did I learn the secret handshake? No. But I am full, and the kid in me is still grinning about being let into the club.

Cooked Correctly: 4/5
Design/Ingredients: 2.5/4
Plating: .5/3
Value: 1.5/3

Ramen Burgers wow at Smorgasburg

2013-08-05T23:31:00.000-04:00

I heard about this last week and I was so bummed when I realized that my flight to Los Angeles was AT THE EXACT SAME TIME they were selling these new culinary oddities. Apparently they were worth the wait, so hopefully they'll be worth the even longer wait of WHO KNOWS WHEN THEY'LL BE SELLING THEM AGAIN?! To those of you who I told to go, and didn't - you know who you are - feast your eyes on this write-up from Gothamist.com.

Did anybody else go? I want to hear all the juicy details!

The Morrison Pub

2013-07-31T11:02:00.000-04:00

Los Angeles, CA
themorrisonla.com

The Order: The Morrison Filet Burger, medium rare. Port salut, celeriac remoulade, a 3oz filet mignon, and marrow butter on an English muffin.
Side Order: Comes with fries.
$16
Drink Order: Sweetgrass APA
Burger Menu Rating: 10/15

In February, when I was in Los Angeles, I visited a new burger joint. I actually visited a few, but one of them was more exciting than the others, and that was The Morrison. Alex Kagianaris, the Executive Chef of Stout, my favorite Los Angeles burger joint, is also the Executive Chef at The Morrison, a new upscale Scottish pub in the Atwater Village area of Los Angeles. For those of you who don't know anything about Stout, read my review from 2011. After you do you'll see why I had such high expectations for the burger at this new gastropub.

I'd managed to strike up a conversation with the person running their twitter who recommended their burger up and down, with whom I was able to set up a tour of the kitchen, and an in depth look at their Morrison Filet Burger. When I got there, I was welcomed by Brian, the General Manager, who made sure I was well at home and who also shares an extreme love for burgers. He gave me the rundown on the place and made sure I could get into the kitchen for this review. To Brian, I must apologize for the tardiness of this post and hope he'll forgive me.

First of all. They put a steak... on the burger. That should tell you a little something about what to expect when going to eat this monster. Rich, big, and decadent: there's a lot going on in this burger. The patty is a custom blend of 40% brisket to 60% chuck from a local provider. The brisket makes for a slightly leaner burger, but gives you a hearty beef flavor in every bite.

Getting a good sear on both sides of the patty.

Each burger is seared on both sides, then a huge chunk of marrow butter is added to it,while the patty cooks to temperature. Adding the marrow butter after searing lets the butter melt down all over the patty and keeps it from completely cooking off, so the bone marrow flavor was really present. Then, the Port Salut (the cheese) is placed on top of the burger, while the Filet Mignon is cooked.

The filet mignons cook while the Port Salut melts on top of the patties.

Unfortunately, the piece of steak is super thin,and cooked well done instead of medium rare. To be fair, I didn't think to try to order the steak cooked to medium rare also, but I figured that if I ordered the burger medium rare, the whole thing would be cooked that way. The English muffins are then toasted and the stacking begins.

They begin the stacking with the celeriac remoulade.

Then add the burger and steak combo.

All your burgers in a line.

First of all, the custom burger meat blend is a good one. I was skeptical at first, but brisket has such a distinct flavor and it really made the beef flavor stand out. With every bite, the patty just kept on delivering a fantastic combination of meaty goodness and marrow butter. I don't know who first created marrow butter, but I'd like to shake his/her hand. Maybe also a high-ten just to drive the point home.

Sadly, my burger was undercooked. Rare instead of medium rare.

While the patty was so delicious, it was undercooked, coming out rare instead of medium rare. And the steak was disappointing as well. It added very little to the burger except for a textural element. There didn't seem to be enough seasoning on the steak to really bring out that flavor, especially with filet mignon being such an excellent cut of meat when handled correctly. When added to such a delicious burger patty, the excess meat became a detriment to the burger, rather than adding interest with a contrasting flavor and texture.

The celeriac remoulade was super tasty, but couldn't stand up to the other flavors.

The celeriac remoulade was delicious and had a fantastic texture on its own. It was such an interesting ingredient to find on the menu, but, when put on the burger, I ended up wishing that it had a stronger flavor to balance against the bone marrow and the meat. Perhaps there just wasn't enough of it on my burger, or maybe the flavor just wasn't strong enough, but it left me wishing for more of that delicious topping to cut through and compliment the other flavors. The Port Salut, a cow's milk cheese, had the same issue. On its own, it had a great mild flavor, but to make it on this burger, something with a bit more attitude would have been more appropriate. Points for using different elements that aren't generally found on burgers, but some more experimentation with the toppings and their interaction would have been good here.

Deliciously seasoned golden deliciousness.

The fries were delicious. That's probably all I need to say. They were a medium size cut, salted and spiced to perfection, and left me wanting more. The fries were tasty on their own, but when dipped into the burger juice drippings, there was no way I was going to have any left over after the meal. But watch out. Other burgers on the menu don't come with fries, and if you want them, you'll be slammed with paying for a $6 side dish.

The best part of our meal wasn't the burger, or the fries, or even the beer. It was the dessert. The bread pudding at The Morrison is phenomenal and not to be missed (sorry no picture!). It's the best I've ever had and the best in Los Angeles, as agreed upon by others who've stumbled upon the pub. There were lots of edge pieces, so there was a fantastic texture both soft and crunchy, and when mixed with the vanilla ice cream, it was an explosion of rainbows and unicorns in my mouth. I might actually just go there for one of these.

When put together, this is a beautiful burger and it ends up being a huge tower of gorgeous meaty goodness. I mean, for $16, you'd hope that it would be pretty big right? While this burger is good, however, it, sadly, is not all it's cracked up to be. The quality and freshness of the ingredients, with the appeal of saying that you ate a burger AND a steak at the same time, makes this worth the visit once. On the whole, it was still a tasty burger, but it lacked balance, and for the price tag, you should be able to expect to eat something that was really going to wow your taste buds. I'd still choose the burgers at Stout over this one.

Cooked Correctly: 4/5
Design/Ingredients: 2/3
Plating: 3/3
Value: 1/3

Big Nick's Pizza and Burger Joint is now CLOSED

2013-07-30T23:05:00.002-04:00

Big Nick's Pizza and Burger Joint comes to a close after a 51-year stint in the Upper West Side with no plans to reopen. It's apparently due to a $20,000 rent hike, according to Eater NY.

Thanks to Albert, one of the guys who came with me on that Midnight Burger Adventure, for the new.

The New Yorker - http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/culture/2013/07/big-nicks-goes-dark.html?mobify=0

Eater NY - http://ny.eater.com/archives/2013/07/the_shutter_big_nicks_4.php

Umami Burger NYC Opens Today

2013-07-29T10:44:00.001-04:00

Umami Burger is opening one of it's three planned NYC locations today. Just thought you should know. While Ernesto Uchimura is no longer at the helm with Umami's massive expansion underway, owner/head-chef Adam Fleischman is bringing some of their menu items from California and has created some new burgers that are sure to be good. By the way, "Fleisch" in German means "meat" so it's appropriate that he owns a burger chain. No?

Umami Burger - http://www.umami.com/umami-burger/

Serious Eats/A Hamburger Today - http://aht.seriouseats.com/archives/2013/07/first-look-umami-burger-west-village-nyc.html

Thrillist - http://thrl.st/15Y2r7x

Angela: The Best

2013-04-17T02:43:00.005-04:00

I must ask for your forgiveness for my absence recently. I lost someone very dear to me a few weeks ago, and have honestly not felt much like writing posts. This person, my aunt Angela, was an amazing woman who helped make me who I am today.

She came to my family about thirty one years ago to be our live-in nanny, to not only cook and clean, but to help raise my siblings and me. She didn't speak very much English at all, and had only just recently gotten into the country from Taiwan. She came to us before I was born so I was extremely fortunate to essentially have two moms raising me.

I honestly don't remember much about when I was growing up. That's not really true. I remember a great deal. I have flashes of images and moments that really stand out. I remember Angela disciplining me. Having to stand in the corner. I remember her letting me sneak down into her room to watch cartoons. I remember how she used to sneak eggs into my oatmeal to make sure I was eating enough protein. But most of all I remember the kitchen. Angela was always in the kitchen. The kitchen had such a bustle, and an immense quality of life to it because Angela was there. She became synonymous with the life in the kitchen, constantly cooking another meal, cleaning, prepping, and baking. Repeat. There was always laughter and a dark sense of humor about her, an ability to joke around, but also listen, and understand. She was immensely emotional, and when, at times, we'd argue, she would be hurt, and showed it. In recent years, Angela had had a difficult time. Still with us, and still helping to take care of our family, she was sometimes not very happy. She would clash with my father, or me, which upset her to no end, but would always let it go. She was amazing at moving past the things that she wanted to get over, and could hold a grudge for a while if she wanted to.

I remember all of these things about her that define who she was to me, but the past few years contain some of the best memories I have of Angela. She and I spent a lot of time together in the kitchen as she taught me to cook. She was one of those cooks who never measures, who just knows by feel and taste exactly how much of every ingredient to put in. At first, it was incredibly frustrating, but when I became more comfortable, suddenly this entire world of cooking was opened to me. She was the one who taught me how to make burgers, always making stuffed burgers, or other interesting varieties, and getting excited about mixing different ingredients to make something amazing and new. She and I would cook together, each adding something to the dish we were making, exclaiming, "oh! I know exactly what this should have," before running to get some other key ingredient. That joy of cooking; that life that cooking brings to a house was something she embodied. That is what I learned from Angela, what I miss now, and will miss for the rest of my life. She was my teacher, my mother, and my friend, and to her I will never find enough ways to say "thank you Angela. I love you."

Hesburger

2013-03-06T11:25:00.000-05:00

Hamburg, Germany
www.hesburger.com/food

The Order: Hesburger (Double Burger), with shredded iceberg, American cheese, 3 buns, 2 patties, pickle, ketchup, and cucumber & paprika mayo.
Side Order: Does not come with a side
€3.50
Drink Order: None
Burger Menu Rating: 5.5/15

Hesburger is a Finnish burger chain, known in Finland as Hese, with locations in Finland, Germany, Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania, Russia, and Ukraine. It's had a long history, starting in the 1960's, but really began to grow starting in the 1990's. It has a larger presence in Finland than McDonald's, and blah blah blah. None of that is important. There are four in Germany, three of which are in Hamburg, and two of which are located on the Reeperbahn, the area where I was working. What you need to know about this place, is that the burger, at the right time, is dirt cheap, tasty, and worth every cent.

This lone man handles ordering and making all the burgers here.

During rush hours, I would avoid Hesburger if I had the time to go somewhere else. With only one person running the establishment, at least at the location on the east side of the Reeperbahn, the guy makes a ton of burgers, beforehand, in order to handle the lunch and dinner-time rush. What this means, is while they're still tasty, and inexpensive, they're not fresh, and that's where you really get the value on your burger. During the rush hours, your burger will have been sitting under a heat lamp for an hour or two before you consume it. The time to go to Hesburger, therefore, is late at night, after a drink or two, perhaps.

Andy LOVES Hesburger.

A coworker of mine, Andy, LOVES Hesburger, and had been trying to get me to go with him for a few weeks, when finally we had time to go together (Andy had been going virtually every day in the interim). We walked up to the stand, ordered our Hesburgers, Andy also got a Cheeseburger and waited at the hi-tops. The sole cook/cashier/order-taker/honcho made our burgers quickly, all the while taking the order of a few drunken German tourists, who were also expounding upon Hesburger's many fine qualities. The two patties are thrown onto the grill, while each piece of bun is lathered with mayo and topped with condiments, including the cucumber and paprika mayo (by far one of the standouts on this burger). By the time he's done with that, he slides the patties onto the buns, stacks it all together, and wraps it to perfection.

A shot of the meat, looks like he forgot the toppings on the top half.

The burger is simple. No frills, just consistency and normal fast food burger taste. The American cheese makes this burger sweet, but buns are lightly toasted and the shredded iceberg is fresh. The mayo with cucumber and paprika provides a cool and crisp flavor to contrast with richness of the beef and cheese. They DID forget to put the toppings on the top half of the burger, which is unfortunate. With this burger, you don't get to order at a specific temperature, nor do you have any really fancy toppings, nor, apparently, do you really even get something all that consistent. What you get is a freshly made burger that will certainly satisfy your post work/beer cravings.

Cooked Correctly: 1/5 - Medium Well, can't ask for specific temperature
Design: 1/3 - Cucumber&Paprika Mayo!
Plating: .5/3
Value: 3/3

Walker's Bar

2013-02-25T12:46:00.000-05:00

Manhattan, NY
www.walkersnyc.com

The Order: 8oz sirloin burger, medium rare on a sesame seed roll. Add swiss ($1.25), add mushroom ($1.25), add bacon ($1.25), add sauteed onions ($1.25)
Side Order: comes with fries
$10.75 + $1.25 + $1.25 + $1.25 + $1.25 = $15.75
Drink Order: Lagunitas IPA
Burger Menu Rating: 7.5/15

First, I must apologize! I totally dropped the ball on posting this on time. Now it's almost a week later, but I'm determined to get this post in before Wednesday's next post. And I especially failed, because this was my first invited review, although hilariously there was some miscommunication, and they didn't actually know I was coming (oh well). But still, you have to hand it to a restaurant that invites a review. That takes balls. I like balls.

Walker's has been around for about 26 years, in a space that has been a restaurant or pub since the 1880s. It's a spot all the locals know about, and is praised for being an unpretentious mainstay of Tribeca. Upon entering, you walk into a spacious bar and seating area with high ceilings, and brick walls, and this looks like all the place has to offer, but it turns out there are two dining rooms nestled in the back behind the bar. The staff greets you as you enter, and they're generally friendly and helpful amidst the bustle of the lunch hour.

The build your own burger menu.

I checked out the menu, and there was only one burger on the menu. What I hadn't known, before I went in to write the review, was that this is basically a design-your-own-burger. I immediately asked my server what her recommendation was, and she came out swinging. Swiss, mushrooms, bacon and sauteed onions. Okay server lady.

After a short wait (the place wasn't quite busy yet), the burger arrived, piled high with toppings and fries. Word must have spread around all the waitstaff because when the burger was brought out, there was a lot of cooing over the burger, telling it how nice it looked, while simultaneously looking, and winking, at me. Seeing other patron's burger brought out, however, made it clear that the cooing was done for me, but the burger was prepared the same as all the others: a hand-formed patty, piled high with toppings of your choice, and a healthy portion of fries.

An uneven patty formation leads to uneven cooking.

This burger had a good medium rare, in the parts where it was medium rare. The patty itself was a bit lopsided, which explains the uneven cooking, and it was dryer than a lot of the burgers I've had recently, which is probably because of their use of sirloin, as opposed to chuck, or other less lean cuts of beef. Still, they managed a good sear on the burger. The problem was that the meat wasn't very well seasoned, and there wasn't very much actual meat taste on this burger. With the uneven cooking skewing from well done to medium rare, and the grind on the finer side, this burger began with quite a few problems.

Close up of the bacon. Soft, and without very much taste.

The massive amount of toppings on the burger was the standout here. There was no way to keep it all piled on the burger. No matter how much I tried, it all just kept gooping out all over the place. The onions were perfectly cooked, the Swiss was amazingly melty and the mushrooms were cooked JUST enough so they were soft with a good mouthfeel, and added a fine earthy flavor to the burger. The bacon, however, was a bit of a let down. I don't mind soft bacon on my burger, but these bacons only had a little bit of flavor to add to the burger. When the bacon can only add a little in terms of texture and taste, it's time to skip the bacon.

In a time when Brioche dominates the burger bun scene, a classic sesame seed roll is nice to see. It brings the eater back to backyard BBQs, reminding us that we too can make burgers delicious, and that the everyday Joe need only have the makings of a burger (a bun and a patty) to make a burger. The bun was well suited to this particular burger, and held up well, absorbing the small amount of juice coming out of the patty. It was nicely toasted on the inside, but not charred to a crisp.

As I mentioned before, there was a healthy portion of fries as a side to this burger. I couldn't come close to finishing them. They were a good medium cut, skin-on, and nicely cooked, but they could've used an extra shake or two, or a roll in a paper towel. They were EXTREMELY oily, and weren't effectively seasoned. Some fries had a decent amount of salt, but others had almost none, or had none.

When it comes down to it, and keeping in mind the detriments I pointed out about, this is still a good burger. It falls into the category of a Pub Burger, the kind that you go out to get for your lunch break from work. There's a ton of the toppings, there's a lot of fries, and with a beer, it's not all that bad. Skip the bacon, save yourself $1.25, and suddenly, $14.50 isn't too bad. Oh, and ask for extra salt on the fries. Would I go here again? If I'm in the area, sure. Walker's has been around for 26 years, it's doing something right.

Cooked Correctly: 3/5
Design: 1.5/4
Plating: 2/3
Value: 1/3

Arcangelo Burger

2013-02-13T11:00:00.002-05:00

Barcelona, Spain
www.arcangeloburger.com

The Order: The Paradisiaco, medium rare. Black pepper ham, four cheese sauce, lettuce, tomato, sauteed onion, cucumber and mayonnaise, on a toasted, locally-sourced, artisanal bun.
Side Order: Does not come with a side (you can add fries for €2.50)
€8.50 (approx $11.45)
Drink Order: Water
Burger Menu Rating: 10/15

This particular 24 hours had been quite good. I was in Barcelona for my second day. I'd woken up relatively late after a long night out, and had eaten a rich and delicious lunch of mussels, potatoes and tuna tartare. I wandered through Las Ramblas and found street musicians, little free museums and houses designed by Gaudi. I sat in the Palau de Musica Catalana and listened to Beethoven's 9th Symphony and Carmina Burana. How could this day get better? I was walking home, committed to have a free dinner back at the hostel, when I walk right up to a fancy burger restaurant. What?! A fancy burger restaurant that just happens to be along my walk back to where I'm staying?! No I did not plan this. I wasn't all that hungry, but hey, when in Rome... or Barcelona!

When I walked in, the place was empty - usually not a good sign, but not alarming where I've been in Europe. Europeans don't seem to have the same fascination with burgers that we do in the US, so I shrugged off my hesitation and asked for a table for one. There were quite a few interesting burgers on this menu, but the Paradisiaco stood out to me that night because of the four cheese sauce and the black pepper ham.

Such a pretty burger.

This burger was pretty. When it came out it was open faced, showing off the plating, and letting the color of the ham really pop. The patty was a bit thin, and the grind a little too coarse, but they made a really good stab at medium rare. There was a ton of flavor with every bite, but the ham made the burger, on the whole, a bit saltier than it needed to be. Perhaps the other reason the burger stood out to me was the use of cucumber instead of tomato. I always love adding a cucumber to the burgers I make at home because it adds a refreshing taste and crunch to the burger that tomatoes don't always capture, and this burger was no different. As for the rest of the toppings, the mayonnaise added a nice buttery sweetness to the overall flavor, but with the four cheese sauce, it was a bit superfluous, and the bun was nicely crunchy, not burned and not too hard.

A decent stab at medium rare.

I could have done without the lettuce, however. It didn't add anything to the burger, and to balance out the saltiness of the ham, a green with more heft would have been more appropriate. This burger was good, and for the price, worth it, but I wish it had come with a side. I wasn't hungry at the time, but if I'd come for a full meal, I would have left either light in the stomach, or light in the wallet. The fries are €2.50, and the other sides cost more.

Cooked Correctly: 4/5
Design: 2.5/4
Plating: 2/3
Value: 1.5/3

BGR - The Burger Joint

2013-02-06T18:01:00.000-05:00

Washington, D.C.
www.bgrtheburgerjoint.com

The Order: The Wellington, medium rare. With "roasted mushrooms, caramelized onions, truffle oil, garlic with a touch of mustard seed and blue cheese" on a toasted brioche bun with mojo sauce.
Side Order: The Gold Standard Fries ($2.89)
$9.29 + $2.89 = $12.18
Drink Order: Raspberry Coke
Burger Menu Rating: 12.5/15

Recently this blog has seen a lot of burgers from around the country and the world. Why not continue the trend with BGR - The Burger Joint in Washington D.C. Keep in mind that many of these reviews are actually from the middle of last year. My sojourn in Germany made posting reviews extremely difficult, so I have a large stock of reviews to keep posting. But don't you worry. I took copious notes for each of these reviews, so they won't be lacking in detail or accuracy.

Founded by Mark Bucher, BGR is a growing burger chain with a strong following. A number of friends in D.C. mentioned that BGR is in their short list of burger establishments for quality burgers. They have a "large and supremely tasty patty on a delicious brioche bun," says Patrick. "I want one every day," says my cousin Sammy who also resides in the DC area and works only a few blocks from the Dupont Circle BGR. Their burgers have a "good beefy flavor and the burger is really big. Also huge portions of fries," adds Kate. I'd heard about BGR on a few trips down to D.C. and had opted for one reason or another to try other places. The last time I went, however, my cousin Sammy was adamant that I go try their burger (she goes often). Let me tell you, I was not let down.

The Wellington. Decadence in burger form.

BGR, like many other burger restaurants (Oinkster, Bobby's Burger Palace, etc.) has burgers of the month on rotation. The Wellington was apparently popular enough to garner a permanent spot on their menu, and I'm glad it did. When the burger came out it was extremely juicy, cooked to a perfect medium rare. The patty was coarse ground, formed with a mold, and was well salted to bring out the flavors of the meat. This is a hefty portion of burger, and well worth it for the price.

A perfect medium rare, glistening with fats, and topped with caramelized
onions, mushrooms, and truffle oil.

With roasted mushrooms and caramelized onions, drizzled with truffle oil, piled high and spilling off the burger, this is a decadent burger. The truffle oil was present in absolutely every bite, which was a fantastic surprise. I've often found that when eating a burger made with truffle oil, the added flavor doesn't make its way through to my taste buds enough to be a bold statement. Here, however, the truffle oil mixed with the onions and mushrooms are delicious, and a perfect foil for the understated blue cheese.

Maybe because the other flavors are so strong, the brioche bun was a bit dull. It performed well with the burger, sopping up the juices, and it was light and airy, but it's own flavor was definitely overwhelmed by the other ingredients.

While BGR offers a decent portion of their Gold Standard fries when added to the size of the burger, they're unfortunately not up to par with their burgers. A medium-sized cut, the fries were a bit on the well-done side and definitely under-seasoned. They managed to not taste too oily, but compared to the rich taste of this burger, the fries needed to pack a lot more punch to hold their own.

BGR's The Burger.

On a return trip to BGR, I'd pass on the fries and opt for a shake, or another menu item. BGR offers an array of other things including an Ahi Tuna Burger and the 9 Pounder, which is actually a 15.4 pound burger that could feed up to 15 people (maybe actually more).

Cooked Correctly: 5/5
Design: 3/4 (I had to take one off because the fries just weren't all that good)
Plating: 1.5/3
Value: 3/3

The Bird in Hamburg

2013-01-30T14:01:00.000-05:00

Hamburg, Germany
www.thebirdinhamburg.com

The Order: The Breakfast Burger, medium rare. Bacon, egg, lettuce, tomato, onion, on an English Muffin.
Side Order: Comes with fries.
11.50€ (About $15.58)
Drink Order: Anchor Steam Beer
Burger Menu Rating: 12.5/15

In the fall I spent two months working in Hamburg, Germany. When I'm not reviewing burgers, I travel for work as a lighting designer and assistant designer for theatrical productions. I was in Hamburg working on Rocky Das Musical (yes... a musical based on the movie Rocky... actually pretty good), and of course, the first thing I think about, when I find out where I'm going to be working, is hamburgers. Yes, I was thinking about all of the extremely delicious burgers that I would find all over Hamburg. They would be spilling out of every door, everywhere I looked there would be amazing meat patties, perfectly formed, oozing deliciousness, and beckoning to me from every which direction. Sadly this was not to be the case (I also quickly found out that 'Hamburger' in Germany can mean something quite different - a descriptive term, rather than actually a hamburger).

I can't tell you just how frustrating it was to even find a single burger joint! Sure there was Burger King, and McDonalds (more on this at a later date), and Hesburger (a Finnish burger chain - also more on this later), but I was looking for a great burger. I was in the City of Burgers was I not?! Hamburg isn't actually called the City of Burgers as I had led myself to believe. Now I'm not going to go into the history of hamburgers. It's a sordid and confusing history with many claims to their creation (for a laugh, check out A Hamburger Today's attempt at tackling the question and read all the comments). The term was most likely coined here in the US, but the meal's origins point to various places in Asia and Europe. Let's leave it at that. So maybe it makes sense that Hamburger doesn't have all that many burger places. Maybe I was looking for the wrong word? Whatever the case may be, it took me a while to find a SERIOUS burger, and I found it at The Bird in Hamburg.

Chris perusing the menu.

Hilariously, the owner is from New York. So it's not even really a hamburger from Hamburg. Billed as a New York Style restaurant with New York size proportions, at least the burger meat is made fresh daily from German beef. Walking in and looking at the menu, I could already tell that I would love this place. When you open the menu, it pleads with the eater to "At least TRY to eat the damn burger with your hands" in response to a general sense of decorum in the European style eating; they use a knife and fork for everything (of course, when I dragged my English friend Chris along, I made him use his hands as well). In a town where all all the ketchup has a curry flavor, there was regular ketchup on the table: a major plus.

Dear Customers... PLEASE!

All of the burgers looked amazing! How was I to choose? I figured that I'd be making a return trip soon anyways, so decided to go for the first one that caught my eye: the Breakfast Burger. With the order into the kitchen, and our drinks arrived (Anchor Steam! In Germany! And for 4.50€), I decided to get myself into the kitchen for some pictures. The owner, Tim, was kind enough to show me around the kitchen as our burgers were being prepared.

The kitchen staff weren't expecting a visitor.

Pre-plating, two with secret crack sauce.

Onions, bacon and delicious goodness.

The burgers are done! Note the English Muffins!

The Breakfast Burger as it arrived.

When the Burger arrived it was glorious-looking. Served on an English Muffin (I love that), this thing was a hefty burger. The burger was slightly under-cooked, but apparently there's a different standard for meat temperatures in Germany. The patty was well balanced, and huge. It had great fat distribution, a fantastically coarse grind and was well salted, bringing out the meaty flavors to mix with the other ingredients. The egg was warm with a somewhat runny yolk that was a little burned around the edges, and could have stood to be a little runnier. The bacon on top was salty, and firm, but not hard. The other toppings were fresh, though I didn't put the lettuce, tomato or red onion on top. The English muffin was a bit small for how big this burger was. If the idea was to create a messy burger, they did a great job.

The fries were good, a perfect size. They were well salted, and tasty to dip in the ketchup, or the crack sauce (amazingly tasty!), but they got to be a little too greasy as the meal progressed. The homemade hot sauce was nicely spicy, but a little low on flavor. It's there, but it doesn't add much more than spice to anything.

All in all a good meal, and a great find in the St. Pauli/Reeperbahn area. I ended up back there three or four more times. If you go, I recommend trying the Da Birdhouse, the Big Crack and the Fat Stingy Gonzalez (mmm guacamole and salsa verde done right). The Dr. Zian is good, but the Stilton Blue Cheese is really strong and doesn't achieve a balanced flavor.

Cooked Correctly (German standard): 5/5
Design: 3/4
Plating: 1.5/3
Value: 3

Black Duck Cafe

2013-01-24T22:25:00.002-05:00

Westport, CT
yelp.com

The Order: Marty's Wisconsin (Stuffed) Cheddar Burger, medium rare. Sharp cheddar cheese with sauteed onions, lettuce and tomato (all toppings are free)
Side Order: Comes with fries or onion rings, and slaw. I got onion rings.
$10
Drink Order: Beaver Brewnette
Burger Menu Rating: 6.5/15

Tucked away along the water in Westport, Black Duck Cafe is an establishment that's been around for quite some time. In a boat. Down by the river. I know, I'm sure everyone has said that before. The boat was built some time in the 1840s and was used as an Ice Barge up and down the east coast. The boat and its crew would travel up to Maine or New Hampshire and load up with ice, then make its way down the coast selling it all off. Later on, it was stored in various places, and finally, after a stint in New Jersey, in 1961, a Westport/Saugatuck family bought the ship, used their tow trucks (the family business) to haul the barge on shore and convert it into a restaurant. Black Duck Cafe has been open since April of 1978 and is coming up on their 35th anniversary (between 1961 and 1978 the barge was used for a handful of other bar/restaurants), but Black Duck, while being a restaurant, is more of a pub. It features a 40-foot long bar over which you can look out onto the river.

Being a pub, they have the usual pub fare. Chicken wings, fries, burgers, etc. all abound on this menu. But what stands out are the "The Duck's now famous Stuffed Burgers" of which there are four. What does this mean? It means the cheese on each of these burgers is stuffed into the meat when they make form the patties. Setting off any alarms? Usually this overworks the meat right? Well, Black Duck manages to avoid this somehow.

The stuffed burger's cheese oozing out!

The burger comes with a decent medium grind, and nice thick oozy bits of cheese. It, unfortunately, was cooked a bit over medium rare, but it had a good char and a good meat taste. While this could be an excellent burger, the overall theme for this meal was blandness. The tomatoes were Beefsteak which weren't all that sweet, or tomatoey, or anything really. The same goes for the bun, which was a bit dry, absorbent, but lacking in flavor. I was able to try the fries and they were a great thick cut, but again, bland. The onion rings were pretty tasty actually. They were soft, and easy to bite through, but on the whole they were way too oily. They were so oily it felt immediately as if I was sweating out oil. So, you know, very oily.

Oily onions lurking in the background.

Perhaps it was the specific burger I ordered, or just that day, but it just didn't do it for me, especially for $10, which is the "Big" size. It also comes in "Bigger" for $12, which I don't think would really be worth it. There is a decent amount of food on your plate, and the ability to customize your burger for free is definitely a plus, but I don't think I'd order this burger again. I've got a soft spot when it comes to stuffed burgers because my aunt has been making excellent stuffed burgers for years, so I might be inclined to try this place again. Perhaps the Jodi's Pepperjack Burger, or the Doctor Proctor's Bleu Cheese Burger.

Cooked Correctly: 3.5/5
Design: Build Your Own+Beefstake Tomatoes 1/4
Plating: 1/3
Value: 1/3

Bully Ranch

2013-01-16T12:01:00.000-05:00

Vail, CO
www.bullyranchrestaurant.com

The Order: The Definitive, medium rare. Angus beef topped with candied bacon, blue cheese butter, and crispy onions, on a challah bread bun.
Side Order: Comes with fries.
$17.50
Drink Order: Water
Burger Menu Rating: 8.5/15

This past weekend, some friends and I took a trip to Vail to go to the Big Beers, Belgians and Barleywines Festival and to go snowboarding/skiing (of course). The festival was at the Vail Cascade Resort Hotel on two floors with a bunch of delicious beer to try, and they weren't lying about being big beers; most of the beers I tried were above 8% ABV. Having tried something like twenty-five beers, and feeling a little buzzed, I decided (for both myself and my friends) that it was time for a burger dinner (this also should explain why I had water with dinner).

Vail resort is full of restaurants, from pubs, to upscale dining and everywhere in between. I, of course, was looking for the best burger, and spent some time looking for the top rated burgers in the area. There were a few honorable mentions, but the one place that stood out was Steve Topple's Bully Ranch because another reviewer said it had "easily the best line-up of burgers" including burgers with buffalo and elk. Steve Topple is the Executive Head Chef at all four of the restaurants at the Sonnenalp Resort at Vail (as well as the casual lounge King's Club).

The first thing you notice when you look at Bully Ranch's menu is the huge list of sides available for $3, and that at the top of the list are the Truffle Tots. Truffle Tots? Sign me up! Or wait, no, everybody else at the table noticed that as well, so I'll have the fries. But seriously, all of these sides are probably pretty delicious (ignoring the Caesar Salad, the House Salad, and the non-descript 'Fruit') and the fact that you can swap any of them out for your fries is amazing. I asked our server what the recommended burger was and where the hell the elk and buffalo burgers were, and, to our unfortunate surprise, they no longer serve burgers made with anything except for ground beef (the buffalo meat is still listed on the website for some reason, but then again, the prices on their website are wrong as well). For Shame! According to our server, the Definitive burger (that's quite the statement there isn't it) is the most popular on the menu. Ok, easy decision.

The Definitive arrived open faced.

When the burger arrived, I was apprehensive. A pre-formed patty that appears to have been cut from a hamburger log, in my experience, isn't a good sign, and definitely not a sign of the highest quality ingredients. Notice, also, that the bacon is merely draped over the top of the burger, and not arranged in a way to have delicious bacon in every bite (this will be important later!).

The Definitive burger, looking pretty after some prep.

I placed all the appropriate ingredients onto the burger (there was a piece of lettuce, a tomato, a slice of red onion and a pickle, as well, that did not make it on there) and took a look. Now this looked more like it. And what kind of bread is this? Challah bread? Delicious, I hope.

A pretty good medium rare.

Cutting the burger in half reveals a pretty good medium rare, and a slightly less than medium-coarse grind. The bun is light and airy with a fair amount of compression, great for absorbing juices. But enough with looking at the burger. Unfortunately, in the first few bites, this burger already does not stand up to the glowing reviews mentioned on various forums and in previous reviews. The meat was under-salted and lacking in flavor. The blue cheese butter only made a brief appearance. It was tasty, buttery sweet with just a slight bit of that blue cheese tang, but I could only taste it in a bite or two. Perhaps there wasn't enough of it, or it wasn't spread out over the burger, but it needed to play a bigger part. Or perhaps because they were adjacent to the crispy onions, which also lacked in flavor, the butter was lost amidst the oiliness of the onions.

The first few bites, however, were the prologue. Suddenly I bit into the candied bacon, and my eyes lit up like a little schoolboy's when he sees a brand new toy. How could I have forgotten that this burger had this magical ingredient? Not only candied, but also spiced with a little bit of cayenne (similar to, but not as good as, the bacon on the burger at Hamilton Tavern) the bacon is definitely the star of this burger. Without the bacon, this burger is nothing. It shapes both the taste and the mouthfeel around its magnificence. I could eat a plate of just this bacon for dinner. So I recommend, when you order it, get extra bacon. Or make your own burger, as my friends all did, but keep in mind that the candied bacon is not on the build-your-own list and must be asked for specifically. Maybe think about candied bacon, and a fried egg on your burger for the ultimate in decadence and deliciousness.

The fries were delicious, and plentiful. Spiced with Rosemary and Thyme, with a great small-medium cut, they were delicious on their own, or with ketchup. They weren't overly salty, or else they would have been more of a balance to the burger, but still a solid side. The Truffle Tots were also delicious (having stolen some from nearby plates). This was one of the few instances where you could really taste the truffle oil, and there was a hint of spiciness as well. Overall, they were good, but I think a bit overwhelming in taste. They might be good to split (nobody finished their sides of Truffle Tots).

Other items on the menu looked good, but the general consensus at the table was that the food was affordable, average fare. I would try something other than the burger here, or make my own next time. Unfortunately, the Definitive is not the answer to the question of burgers.

Cooked Correctly: 4.5/5
Plating: 1/3
Design: 1.5/4
Value: 1.5/3

Guapo's Shore Shack

2013-01-09T12:59:00.003-05:00

Brewster, MA
www.elguapostaqueria.com

The Order: Guapo Burger, medium rare. With jack cheese, guacamole, pico (chopped tomato 'salad'), shredded lettuce, and a drizzle of hot sauce.
Side Order: At time of order - comes with chips. Current - Add fries ($1.75)
$7.99 (at time of order) - now $8.95
Drink Order: Coke
Burger Menu Rating: 8.5/15

El Guapo's Taqueria is a little Mexican restaurant over on Underpass Road in Brewster, Massachusetts. I happen to be up in that area of Cape Cod once or twice a year for work, and I'm, of course, always looking for a burger to try. I'd been woefully disappointed on previous occasions, but was recently introduced to El Guapo's, a definite game-changer.

Tucked out of the way, and definitely pushing the Mexican theme, El Guapo's is probably one of the last places you'd expect to find a burger that was worth trying. They've got a small list of burgers to try, three basic run-of-the-mill burgers, but one stands out because it's the only one they have that goes along with their Mexican theme; the Guapo Burger.

The to-go container from Guapo's

The Guapo Burger comes with guacamole, hot sauce and pico. So they basically took the toppings from one of their tacos and put it onto a burger. I'm down. I'm imagining a chef one day was just a little clumsy when transporting the taco ingredients on his spatula across the kitchen and over the grill ("Why do we keep these toppings all the way over there?!") and whoops, the toppings are all on top of a burger ("I'm a genius!"), and thus the Guapo Burger was born. In truth, it probably wasn't like that at all, but let me believe what I want to believe.

The Burger is revealed, with a nice lightly toasted bun.

Because I was busy at work, I had to order my burger to go. I got back to work to scarf down this burger. The burger came in a nice little biodegradable box, which was a perfect size for their burger. Not crushed, the guacamole was just beginning to creep out of the confines of the burger. When I cut the burger in half, I was presently surprised. The thin patty was cooked surprisingly close to medium rare. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, it is very difficult to cook thin patties correctly, and those few establishments that can do it, or even get close, deserve a tip of the hat (go ahead, put on your hat and tip it). The burger is only slightly spicy, the hot sauce adding a nice little kick to each bite, but not so much that you have to breathe any harder, or drink any more of your drink to cool off. The bun has a nice texture, and adds a grainy flavor. On this particular burger, some of the cheese was a bit charred, which was awesome. The pico was fresh and crisp, adding the usual tomato flavor. Unfortunately where the burger fell short was the guacamole. It was a bit plain and bland, a great textural element, but didn't really add a distinctive flavor to the burger that I expected, especially since the burger shares its name with the establishment itself! This kind of burger isn't anything new, but if they really wanted to impress, they should up the ante with their guacamole and make it amazing. And wait! My order was supposed to come with chips! There. Were. No. Chips.

The burger, cooked almost medium rare.

Guapo's Shore Shack has recently gone through some rebranding with the opening of their new location in Orleans, MA. Their new website is up, although it's still under construction, and their menu has changed, with slightly higher prices (which affected this rating a bit after the fact). The next time that I am up in the area, I'll check out the new establishment and see how things are going.

Another view, more flattering, but deceiving!

Cooked correctly: 4.5/5
Plating: 1 (Branded Takeout)
Design: 1.5
Value: 1.5