Well done, Internet. You continue to amaze me.

So! If you would like to officially add your name to the list of amazing people who have contributed to the chaos and joy that Christmas Crazy has created over the years, this is it. Your last chance. Here's the link. I'll turn your monies into gift cards and get them to Center for Victims in time for Christmas shenanigans.

In the meantime, I'll just be closing my eyes every time I walk through my dining room because I am definitely losing the battle against stuff. Between the construction that should have been done in October but hahahahahahahalolz and the mountains of toys and such that the Internets has delivered, there's a stack of laundry and three Christmas trees I still need to decorate.

Basically, I'm a mess. Please do ignore that.

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Success is the result of hard work AND luck. That luck thing plays a part way more than anyone wants to admit. But, if I look back on my path from the trailer park to the board room, there are most definitely several doors that opened because of luck. The right place at the right time, a productive conversation with someone with pull, or even random kindness from a stranger can go a long way in connecting one dot to another and filling out the picture of success.

THAT is why Christmas Crazy matters. Center for Victims helps people who are doing the hard work, but need a little luck. Sometimes the world hands people a cactus, but they don't have to sit on it. These are people who are trying to throw that cactus into their past. Let's throw some kindness in front of them.

Here's the Amazon Wishlist.

Here's the PayPal donate link.

Our progress will start showing up in the sidebar later today. We're doing okay, but as you well know, I like doing more. Let's go!

It all started with a moment of kindness. Mila, like every human with an imagination and heart, is enchanted with butterflies. That has led to a ridiculous number of butterfly-friendly plants in the garden, including lots of places for the monarchs. That has worked, for what it's worth, and our back yard is pretty magical in July and August.

But, when it comes to Mila, "pretty magical" is not enough magical. Thus, I ordered a little butterfly hatching kit thing for her in a brief moment of kindness. It was way back when the weather was still right for adding butterflies to the world, a fact which was definitely confirmed just by walking outside. At that point we had 9 monarch caterpillars destroying plants. So, plenty of time.

I ordered the kit and the little enclosure was perfect. The caterpillars, though? They were most definitely not perfect. Somehow water had gotten into the container so there was fuzzy mold and muck and basically it wasn't happening. These things happen when you ship live animals, so I wasn't terribly bothered by the whole thing, but I did decide to wait until spring to get replacement caterpillars. I explained to Mila that the caterpillars were dead, we moved on with our lives, and all was well.

Hahahahahahahahalolznope. It wasn't well. I guess maybe it was a bad idea to just stick the whole thing back in the box and set it in the pile of construction stuff that's going on around here? It must have been a bad idea because days turned into weeks turned into months and, let's be real, I'm never going to finish the dang stairs. I have so little left to do, but we're running head first into Christmas, so I won't have time to look at it until January. So perhaps a stalled construction zone wasn't the best place for moldy dead caterpillars.

Oh, except, ummmmm ... they weren't dead. I don't even know what happened, but yesterday we opened the box and there were actual live butterflies scurrying around inside the very tiny bowl they arrived in as cocoons, I guess? Like, I know what a cocoon looks like and there weren't any in there. The caterpillers were definitely legged creatures that weren't moving, so I don't know. Maybe there were some I didn't see. Regardless, crammed into that tiny bowl were two live butterflies.

Which we clearly couldn't release because BRRRRRRRRRR. I guess it's supposed to be cold in Pittsburgh in November, but that doesn't mean I'm ready for it. The butterflies definitely weren't prepared for it.

So the butterflies were moved to the enclosure and we did what we could to set them up for a brief but happy life indoors. They are painted ladies, so they only get to deliver fluttery joy to the world for about two weeks. Given that they were trapped in a dark bowl without food or water for who knows how long, that probably shortens things.

Mila decided to make the most of her brief window of butterfly parenting by parking her butt right next to them and not moving. At all. For an entire day. DO YOU KNOW HOW GREAT OF A GIFT THAT IS? It truly was the best day in a long time because there was no destruction of chaos or mayhem in my house. So good. So very good.

And then Mila had to go to bed which led to Mila waking up which led to Mila realizing one of the butterflies had bitten the dust overnight. We can't be particularly said about all of that because, again, I AM AN IDIOT and caused the whole debacle. That means I probably deserve what came next.

Did I mention that Mila woke up at 5:00 am today? Because Mila woke up at 5:00 am today. She needed five hours to prepare for a party she was invited to attend, you see. She tried to fill those five hours with butterfly watching, but then one was dead and ZOMG THAT CHILD IS LOUD.

I didn't need to be up for any particular reason today, so I stayed up super late last night doing stuffs. I went to bed after 2:00 am. That means the 5:00 screeching and yelling about the dead butterfly was REALLY badly timed.

But that's karma, coming right back at me and paying me back for being an idiot.

I realize that blogging is dead and it's just plain weird that I still (sort of) maintain this site. I mostly walked away a while ago, but I couldn't say goodbye to Christmas Crazy without one last hurrah. Alas. Here we are. Giving it one last hurrah.

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An aside. That last hurrah thing is moving more slowly than I would like. HEEEELLLPPPPP. Here's the Amazon Wishlist. Please make my delivery person work extra this week? I'll make it up to them. THANK YOU, YOU'RE THE BEST, HUUURRRRAY FOR GOOD PEOPLE!

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After this last hurrah? I'm not sure. Stories about Alexis have been few and far between for a long time now because she's old enough to have her own story that's different than every other kid's. She has a right to privacy and can absolutely tell me not to post about something. That's all been happening for years and years. It makes for scarce content, but a happier kid, so it's the right thing to do.

Mila is starting to bump up against that "unique story" thing as well. Years of reading other people's blogs taught me that there is very little that's special about kids up until they're about 7 or 8. Oh, your baby doesn't sleep? JOIN THE CLUB. Your tiny one had a diaper explosion that was hilarious? Yeah, we've all seen that. Twice this week. Your kindergartener did something cute? Millions of kindergarteners have done something cute as well. It's not a bad thing. In fact, it was the power of blogging. We were able to connect with other people who were living through the same moments and reacting in the same way. It made us feel connected and a little less crazy.

But then kids start moving through the world in ways that are truly their own and their story becomes theirs. At least that's what I think. Considering Alexis has read every word I've written and currently gets mad about "yo mama" jokes because, and this is a direct quote, "My mom is a cool mom," I think that stance has served me well. (Alexis is probably the only person who would call me cool. I'LL TAKE IT.)

ANYWAY, lots of things killed blogging and it was a slow, gradual death, but here we are. Blogs are dead.

And any minute now, Twitter is going to be dead as well. There was nothing gradual about any of it, which really speaks to how much of a colossal failure Elon Musk really is. It takes skills to get so many people to walk away from a job they loved. It also takes skills to destroy something so powerful from the inside. They aren't good skills, but he has them.

I mentioned that Twitter shrank the world, and that's one heck of an understatement. As much as I think we're supposed to hate that hellsite, it's connected me with this magnificent collective of people from all over the world. Christmas Crazy gifts have come from 9 countries and 31 states over the years, y'all. I haven't lived in 9 countries, so I can't take credit for that. The 31 states are not a representation of people I've known over the years - they're nearly entirely Twitter "strangers."

A couple of wild things that have happened because of Twitter:

- I spent a year attending high school in Spain as an exchange student. I lived with a newly married couple while I was there. They didn't have children until years after I returned to the United States. Their youngest daughter found me on Twitter and was like, "Hey! Are you the Michelle that lived with Andres and Pepita? Because they're my mom and dad."  I tweet with her fairly often, despite never having met her. I still have no clue how she found me, though. I should probably hurry up and ask.

- I know a person who can get a private plain sent anywhere. I found that out one very strange night. I won't go into details, but how cool is that?

- There is a person whose name you would recognize who I went to high school with (IYKYK). I know he still remembers his sister and me torturing him when we were kids because he DMd me from his super secret Twitter account to share a photo from those days. He was like "Hey! I found this! And I found you on Twitter!" And I was like, "Who the hell are you? OH WAIT." It was a fun day.

There are a million other stories like those, but the one that matters most brings us right back to where I started - Christmas Crazy worked because of Twitter. This site has been the baseball team playing a great game, but Twitter has been the radio announcer spreading the story across the miles. And, y'all, I can't even put into words how much it means to me that so many of you have not only cheered for the baseball team, but also used your own Twitter accounts to shout it from the rooftops.

So thanks, social media people. You're pretty swell. Let's stay in touch.

It's a pretty amazing thing, this thing we've done.

So we're going to do it a fourteenth time.

But this is the last time.

Now simmer down, oh wonderful people of the internet. There are a lot of reasons why I need to wrap up this brand of chaotic good that I've somehow conjured. I don't want to go detailing all of them, but have faith that this thing is time-consuming and difficult and I've been barely getting it done the past few years. It deserves more and I frankly don't have it to give. I can pull it off this year because luck fell in my lap, but it's going to run away from me very quickly.

So let's send it out with a bang, please?

If you're new here or have just plain forgotten, here's how it works: I post an Amazon Wishlist all over the internet. Absolutely fantastic people select items from it for the kids receiving services from Center for Victims. The items are shipped to me, I prep and sort them, take a photo of an always impressive mountain of kindness, and then deliver that mountain to Center for Victims in time for them to distribute them to their child clients. There's also a PayPal link if you're more of a cash kind of person. That cash gets turned into gift cards that also end up in the mountain of kindness that is delivered each year. I get nothing (except warm fuzzies! I get lots of those!), there's no overhead or administrative costs or any of that, and the staff at Center for Victims gets to focus on the fun part of playing Santa.

It is genuinely a gathering of the best parts of the internet working together to deliver joy to kids who have seen the worst of humanity.

So! Let's get to it!

Here's this year's Amazon wishlist. More items will be added in the next week or so. And here's the PayPal link. We've got until December 7th to do our shopping because delivery day will be around December 10th.

(The photo is of 2021's Mountain of Kindness. Let's go bigger this year, please and thank you!)

(Catch up on what "Christmas Crazy" is here. Last year we sent over $12k worth of toys to Center for Victims. Let's do it one last time.)

For what it's worth, Alexis has started to realize that she allegedly moves out for college after next year. That's the exact reason she worked really hard to collaborate on a costume idea with Mila this year. She only gets one more chance.

Enjoy that dose of OMG. I know I did.

ANYWAY.

Elvis and his guitar.

Fred Rogers and Ginger Astaire (still a favorite because wobbly toddlers wearing wigs while chasing candy are very much so tiny drunk people)

Puss n Boots and Humpty Dumpty (Humpty Dumpty rode in a wagon that made to look like a wall)

The Red Queen and The Mad Hatter

Taco Belle (If only people had gotten the pun ...)

Elliot, Gertie, and ET (Best Gertie ever? Best Gertie ever.)

Catwoman and Harley Quinn

Lilo and Stitch

Mother Gothel, Rapunzel, and Pascal (Mila ABSOLUTELY agreed to this because she could force me to buy a stuffed Pascal)

And Matilda.

And Tony.

So OF COURSE I had to make a new thing this year. Time was short, though, because I decided to tear down a bunch of walls, paint some things, and generally the house has been under construction for two months. Thus, I decided it was time for an arch over the door.

A skull arch.

This was -so- easy to make. End to end it took maybe 4 hours total. I have come to the conclusion that there is nothing that PVC, spray foam, burlap, and spray paint can't do.

ANYWAY, basic instructions, ahoy!

You need 3/4" PVC cut to fit the space and elbows to make the turns, a crapton of skulls (most of them are $5 skulls from Target, although there is a good number of $2 ones from Five Below as well as some odds and ends I already had), spray foam, black burlap, and black spray paint. Oh, and a few strings of Halloween-colored lights, of course.

Start with this - cut the burlap into 4-6" wide strips. I used 20 strips per side.

Stab holes in the burlap every 6-10" apart. That's so you can wind the PVC back and forth through the burlap and create some volume/filler.There's no need to be careful while doing it, other than to make sure you keep all of your fingers.

Then it's time to prep some skulls.

Drill two holes.

Zip tie.

That's it.

Across the top I did one skull and then one piece of fabric. On the sides it was one skull and then two pieces of fabric. There are some extra arm and leg bones zip tied in between the side skulls just for funsies.

Here's how you do the burlap winding thing.

Once that was done, I wound some Halloween-colored lights around the whole thing.

From there, it's all about the spray foam. You set the whole contraption on top of some trash bags so you don't get a mess on your floor (the trash bags will peel off once the foam is dry). There's no art to the whole spray thing. You just shove the straw in the gaps between the skulls and fabric, spray a bit, and move on. It took two cans per side to fill things in and make them a bit sturdier. Once the foam is completely dry, flat black spray paint finishes things off quite nicely.

I mean, LOOK. Ignore the kids (for the moment) and LOOK!

It's lovely. And! And! I already have a plan for what I'm going to add next year.