-burning of the midnight lamp- the owl of minerva

take your dirty hands off my mirror

2026-02-20T03:30:00.000-08:00

sun shines
summer comes
again
it's been 3 years
and i don't feel a thing
like i should
like i could
take that thought
out of mind

don’t try to find
then we'll be fine
some day
some day
or so they say
after this

will we miss?

I don’t know

how this will go
will we be fine???
again

when we return
and the sun sets
and day is done
just like the body
of everyone
like the sun
will someday die

or maybe that

is too just a lie
but you and I

hopefully will be fine
and never alone

and maybe forever alive

are we going to be fine

with the files

with the piles

wonders of whys

and all the cries

of everything we once knew

as true

has been a bunch of lies

it’s time to ask

the question

what do we do?

we can’t turn back

it’s time to face the facts

it’s time to address

THIS FUCKING MESS

what a fucking mess

it’s time to stand up

or just be less

and less

until we are none

the time to stand up

for what is right and

call out what's fucking wrong

the time to do right

has now begun

for anyone and everyone

who knows

how wrong the world has been

who knows

the fuck of a mess

we are in

the time is NOW

to begin.

you can close your eyes and close your ears

but you can’t ignore your fears

and you can’t turn away

from other’s tears

it’s time to change the future years

if we want to go home

we need to stop burn these mother fuckers now

it’s time to take back

all that these mother fuckers stole from us

no morals = they don’t give a flying fuck about

you and I

they only care about them.

it’s time for a fucking change

2020-08-06T15:42:00.005-07:00

so I'm using this site again for a post or two.

critical self

stop thinking

stop drinking

and sinking

into doubt

I let it go here

there

and everywhere about

who am I?

I'm not who I've been told

I'm not who others want me to be

I'm not what you see

I'm not anything like me

but I am

Go here

2018-06-11T22:26:00.001-07:00

My new blog

skin loves fever

child

2015-07-19T02:52:00.000-07:00

hey child
it's time to say goodbye
to all that was
that is no longer
to all that's gone away
while the rest of has grown
a child you stay
you're much too old to stay this way

you can fight and fight
yourself and with time
but it's a fight you'll never win
and the more you fight
the less you begin
to live a happy life
it's wearing you thin

wearing you down
beating you up
taking all that you got
out for the kill
down with a shot
trying to hold on to something you're not
anymore

He told me "go write kyokie"

2013-09-26T23:49:00.001-07:00

I am much to handle
When I need to bee handled
I am much to take in
But it's only cause you want to take me in
I'm a lot of things
That you can't understand right now
More like don't want to
But I love
And I love you
And you can have that also you in the face
Trip you up
Fuck up your world
But I need you to not ignore that
Cause
You're ignoring me
And you
And you know it

cleansing

2013-09-17T07:28:00.002-07:00

old love
dead love
you don't care
how you are
or how you make me feel
you go out of your way
you say
the things that you can't ever take back
you go out of your way
to stay
as far away from me as you want
i do not want you
i do not care about you cause you are not my friend
or my love(r)
anymore
you don't even try to make it good or better
you allow things to go to shit
and you never show me love
to back up the meaningless words you say
- and i'm not mean
i'm honest
and calling you out on your bullshit
bullshit that falls from your mouth
like nothing
without thought or care or love
---
i'm angry cause you're such a disappointment
and i'm upset cause you wasted my time heart, love and care
if i knew you were a shitty person
and a shitty friend
i wouldn't have let you in to begin with
cause why should i care about you when you act the way you do to me
the hard part was holding on to something you are not now
the past you doesn't matter when the present you is shitty

i've been living life thinking that i loved you
but i don't love you now
and the new
is so much better
than any life involving you

there won't be any effort
to keep you around
cause i don't want to keep something that's just bad news.
no matter what you say
now or down the road
it doesn't matter anymore...
cause you don't matter anymore
the only reason i'm writing this is
for me
to dump
to let out
and let go
of anything having to do with you
i've let you weigh me down for much too long now
you are not going to change
you will never be any better
you will never be good for me or to me
who i thought you were and who i loved is not who you are now
you are not someone i want to love
you are gone
the idea of you is not you

it's a new day

It's better to burn out than fade away

2013-08-26T16:50:00.001-07:00

I wish I could go back
But
At least
We can wipe the slate clean
And remember
This
Next time

No one knows

2013-07-30T03:29:00.001-07:00

Unwanted
Lonely
Rejected
Judged
Not fitting in
Not belonging
I see the things I have
I love so much
But
Everything else
Is too much
Always been too much
I don't know what to do
I never did
And the less I know now
And the less you care
Who cares
Who really cares
I guess I did
But I know when it's time
For me to leave
This was not meant for someone like me

2013-07-10T10:08:00.001-07:00

with a machete
Escape is impossible.
Fear has a new name

This is not the end even though it is the end of this

2013-07-07T23:58:00.001-07:00

A flash
Light
Black
White out
Wipe it clean
Wash it away
Make like it was never there
But underneath new skin
And new life
Is old soul
And old tracks

I'll come again
In stone other place

With a different form
Again

And a different face
I transcend
Again
At every end

One two three four

2013-07-07T05:34:00.001-07:00

My words fall far below the ground you stomp on
That is me
I see no reason to carry on
I see no reason to feel anything good
There is no love in my heart when it comes to you
I've been removed
Replaced
Reduced
You have made it clear
That I do not matter
I do not deserve a reply
You only respond when it suits you
Acting like I revolve around you
Well I tried and now
I retire
You treat everyone else better
Than the way I can't even remember
But you'll remember this
And learn
When me and yesterday
Will never return
Not
Ever
Not again
Not next time
Not for you
No

The things that don't kill you make you stronger
And The things that kill you

Drive - The Cars

2013-06-28T23:05:00.002-07:00

Who's gonna tell you when,
It's too late,
Who's gonna tell you things,
Aren't so great.

You can't go on, thinkin',
Nothings' wrong, but bye,
Who's gonna drive you home,
Tonight.?

Who's gonna pick you up,
When You fall?
Who's gonna hang it up,
When you call?

Who's gonna pay attention,
To your dreams?
And who's gonna plug their ears,
When you scream?

You can't go on, thinkin'
Nothings wrong, but bye,
(who's gonna drive you)
(who's gonna drive you)
Who's gonna drive you home, tonight?
(who's gonna drive you home)

(bye baby)
(bye baby)
(bye baby)
(bye baby)

Who's gonna hold you down,
When you shake?
Who's gonna come around,
When you break?

You can't go on, thinkin',
Nothin's wrong, but bye,
(Who's gonna drive you)
(who's gonna drive you)
Who's gonna drive you home, tonight?
(who's gonna drive you home)

Oh, you know you can't go on, thinkin',
Nothin's wrong,
(Who's gonna drive you)
(Who's gonna drive you home)
Who's gonna drive you home, tonight?

(bye baby)
(bye baby)
(bye baby)

all i need

2013-06-12T01:55:00.001-07:00

the things that i love
are here
and everything else
is either unknown
and about to happen
or not for me
not right now at least

kyoko in motion lol

2013-06-11T12:54:00.000-07:00

Sick Of The Kyoko

Guess Who Taught Me About Kyoko

Kyoko Under The Sheets

Kyoko Is For Everyone

Exploring Kyoko

Game Of Kyoko

Putting An End To Kyoko

Kyoko Talked Me Out Of It

Kyoko Is Better Than Sex

Kyoko Implosion

Facing Kyoko

Kyoko Will Bring Us Together

The New Face Of Kyoko

Recovering From Kyoko

Strange Kyoko

Foxy Kyoko

Kyoko Is A Girl Called Wednesday

Kyoko On The Mind

Kyoko Party

The Beauty Of Kyoko

Broken Kyoko

Suped Up Kyoko

Unstoppable Kyoko

Introvert Kyoko

Supernatural Kyoko

My Wooden Kyoko

100mph Kyoko

So Much For The Kyoko

The Kyoko

Bright Kyoko

Jealous Kyoko

Rampant Kyoko

Kyoko Detox

Kyoko Is My Middle Name

War Of Kyoko

Kyoko Days

Staring At All This Kyoko

Kyoko Has No Answers

Kyoko Hits You Hard

Kyoko On A Stick

Taming The Kyoko

Game Of Kyoko

Freezing Kyoko

Running Out Of Kyoko

Kyoko From Heaven

Phony Kyoko

Kyoko In A Frame

Sick Of The Kyoko

Kyoko All Over The Floor

Kyoko, Kyoko, Gimme The Kyoko!

Kyoko Plans

Kyoko Compliments

Kyoko Visions

Kyoko Strength

Kyoko Faults

A Strange Kinda Kyoko

Kyoko Emotions

Kyoko Thunder

Kyoko Choices

Kyoko Chores

Kyoko From Top To Bottom

Kyoko Violence

Kyoko Techniques

Kyoko Lightning

Kyoko Fashion

Kyoko Promises

Kyoko Distractions

Kyoko Ideas

Everything Is Kyoko

Too Kyoko To Think

The War On Kyoko

Kyoko On My Mind

New York Kyoko

A Flash Of Kyoko

Remembering Kyoko

Nothing To Do With Kyoko

Unforgettable Kyoko

Suck My Kyoko

Blizzard Of Kyoko

Green Kyoko

Stray Kyoko

Broken Kyoko

Violent Kyoko

Sick Of The Kyoko

Nature Of The Kyoko

My Wooden Kyoko

Day Of The Kyoko

1 Less Kyoko

Transparent Kyoko

Let There Be Kyoko

Kyoko Will Turn You Around

Kyoko On The Floor

One Night Of Kyoko

Kyoko Safari

Fake Kyoko

Kyoko Taken For Granted

Light Kyoko

Looking Down On Kyoko

There's Nothing Like Kyoko

We Don't Need No Kyoko

Kyoko Unleashed

Rounding Up The Kyoko

Instant Kyoko

Kyoko Like This

Little Kyoko

Careless Kyoko

Infinite Kyoko

Game Of Kyoko

Kyoko On Ice

Kyoko Gestures

Kyoko Frowns

Kyoko Bombs

Kyoko Warmth

Kyoko Bargains

Kyoko Powers

Kyoko Heat

Kyoko Talent

Kyoko Politeness

Kyoko Adventures

kyoko on no!

hydrogen carbon and rust

2013-06-11T01:51:00.000-07:00

soup hydrogen soup carbon

truths scratched from the dirt

rusting trucks

die with years
in dry grass below

and with vultures above

in waiting

hungry like the old

hungry like the forgotten
waiting in line

for the dead

to come

waiting

like we wait

to die

orange big muff juice

2013-06-10T22:47:00.002-07:00

the End
end
end
and everyone is waiting here for you
you
you
fight a fight that never ends
and
Me,
I've said enough
and the
One who bleeds out
is the one
I reach for
I reach For you in
i want to kiss your venom stained mouth
did you ever
Realize
the life I see
is your Face
is a sin
the truth lies there
Now who's there with me now
when all we want
Is what's real
until it's everything I had
i have no more
It's not like this
just like this
just like
the end
the end
end
end
just like You
do you
want
I just want
it to shut up
blisters on
So pissed off
you're not alone
here
not At all
you would rather feel
pain than nothing
at all
walking with a blistered soul
i can't wash away those years
just walking around I hear
You talk about your life
I wish that was my own
I try to get in
but i'm Passed over looked over
never
nothing
no
not nobody
no
No
NO
I won't
let them make you sorry
a stranger strange
is who i am
i am everything i hide
everything i am
is a lie
from all the
Way
today
just fell apart like
everything
and nothing
right
it's me
who never gives up
the never ending fight
against myself
i am my own bad
all in my head
and i will turn
my own back on me
you fight to be you
and i fight to hide what is me
But it's too little, too far to throw
it all away
away
far away
maybe some other day
you can have
you can use
if you want
if you need
if you wish
to find
me

the mess we are

2013-06-10T22:07:00.000-07:00

Face and I said wrong
you comfortable liar you're such
A comfortable liar
you're such a mess
Why would I wanna be like you
I cannot
Control
the mess we are
we are in,
if I
what if i
What if
what if
what you want
i want you to
See I'm not the only one who
Would carry on
this
is how
it's going to be
The one maybe
I'm the one who
Would carry on
this
far away
in my way
You're wrong
if you feel
any magic to
back off
back down
I always clean your fucking mess and
Leave no trace
no evidence
I am letting
You know
you stand reborn
before us all
so glad
To see you
again
I would die, to mold
it new
and i am now caught up in
this hell
so don't fake
it
This is
don't remember,
i remember when this was
my
Life
caught in the rewind
caught in the capture
of ridicule
i'm the fool
to everyone
I'm
Tired of paying
and playing
a game
that will end always the same
Silence
just gets in
from the back
from the fold
the oldest story ever told
Burn like the way
I'm wired
so could you maybe
Lend a hand
to help a drowning man
whose eyes of better
got stuck in clouds
Feelings all right
but not right now
not this time
It's over it's over, this is
How, you, steered it
as bad
as you feared it
as bad as
you always wanted it to be
and I need is serenity
I don't need you
I Stumble then I crawl
with you around
you could be
the death of me
Just like you
do it all for You
you know this world is not for me
and I don't feel
everything's alright
but she was always
better at this game than me ...

i lied...

2013-06-10T16:46:00.003-07:00

i let you excuse me
of

having any taste

sometimes you have to wallow in your own shit
before you realize
what you are now
is shit
you are what you produce

there's only two types of
expression (art music creation etc.)

good
and
bad

everything
in between
doesn't matter
if it doesn't
last

if it doesn't hold
if it doesn't stay
true
or inside your heart or brain
somewhere
and make you
feel something
then it doesn't fucking matter

lie witness news at Coachella - hahaha super funny

2013-05-20T18:59:00.000-07:00

this is ridiculous and hilarious .... stop trying to be cool kids and start being nerdy... at least you'll know what the fuck you're talking about-
you don't have to lie to kick it

Let it bleed, watch it burn, move on

2013-05-14T00:31:00.001-07:00

Hanging on my wall

Is a picture

Of a painting

I did

When we first met.

I saw it today

In a different way

And I cried

After when I was done crying

I took the picture off my wall

And set it on fire

Along with a few other reminders

Of something I don't need to remember anymore

It's gone now

Just like you.

Shortly after I painted something new for someone else.

It's now haging on my wall ;)

tomorrow never comes until it's too late

2013-05-11T00:10:00.000-07:00

green painted paper lanterns
a dark stale smoke filled room
sounds of noise through music
and music through noise
muffled through the doors
and walls
and coverings
but it still comes through
will i come through
this hell i'm in
my heart hurts
the child
the adult
the soul
hurts
beyond body
and skin
and flesh and bone
tonight i sing my songs again
i play the game
and pretend
i'm sick of pretending
there's no use in pretending
anymore
i am done
the past won't feel me
cause it doesn't exist anymore
and along with that
i go

killed it

2013-04-30T00:10:00.001-07:00

if someone says they miss you
be happy that they do

the last night of me-

2013-04-27T05:00:00.000-07:00

put yourself out there
you will learn better
one of these days when
you've been chewed up and spit out
so many times
you're not even solid aymore
and love
ha
loving the wrong people is all you seem to do
until you those wrong people
have brought out everything
that ever made you break
as a child
but you're an adult now
and when you break
you shatter
into dust

when all the people you loved so much
find their way
they will have already killed you
you will be gone
and dead
and it won't matter to you
you were the sacrafice
you were the lesson
you were not made for this world
so
close your eyes
it's time to let your body
and everything else
go

To the heart that's breaking

2013-04-19T02:20:00.001-07:00

Don't break over something you know isn't worth it
Not when you know
The minute you let go
Is the minute you feel
The love that surrounds you

Stop
And see
Feel
It and
Let go
Don't look back
Or hold on
Get out from where you are
Right now
And drive
To wherever
Feels good

That feeling you have
Right now
Is change
You know
Now
There is no reason or desire
To ever return to something
You no longer have
In your heart
You are now
Where you were meant to be
And that
Is
The greatest movement one can make

Yesterday will run around in circles
and continue the rat race loop forever even without you

i bruise me easily with grace

2013-04-18T16:15:00.000-07:00

throw the next gesture
chant by night
for our new messy dream
brush above pencil figures
laugh at me and my monkey impression
pop goes my pop up ballet
an original masterpiece
of glorious flame
colored in wild blue
covered me in mad
drips of color covered glow
you can light or shadow
blend or blur
take or make the fold
it's all up to you
you chooooose
me or ooze me
all over city street
and concrete static
use me with each passing face
jumping beds and bones
lose me somewhere without a trace
between the sheets
of strangers
i
bruise me
easily
with grace
refrain
recall
it means everything and nothing at all
recline to form
use me down to nothing
as i build to pieces
not built to last
i rewind in movement
double fast
you move right through me
with you mind
and print me out in copies
with your call
paint me open
and pour me
in nothing
shut out nothing but
the absolute feel
made to steal
made for show
package me up
nice and pretty
finish me off with a bow
i am flesh candy
frantic and absurd
almost never together with you
fly me off to my next
dream
amuse me less
but my monkey much more