Every time someone boarded, especially the pretty young girls, he’d sing about them. The ladies all swooned around him… giggling all the way. Hilarious yet creepy, especially since he was wearing a Santa-style baseball cap complete with red velvet and fuzzy white trim, in the middle of summer. Ya gotta love Austin — the live music capital of the world where we also say “Keep Austin Weird.”

Somewhere in Hollywood I became aware of some antagonistic behavior in the back of the bus. A young guy whose black pleather jacket and fluffy soft curls were so early 80s Brooklyn was blurting profanities at some other guys. The other guys disembarked at the next rail connection stop, muttering inaudible pities. That’s when I noticed the verbally abusive hipster’s face was streaked with tears.

“Buy, that guy…,” he said quietly between choking sobs. “He tried to…” He was clinging to something that wasn’t making any sense. His friend in a backwards Dodgers-blue hat was trying to calm him but it wasn’t helping. There was a subtle tension. We were sharing this guy’s bad trip across town. I scanned the faces of other passengers – only some seemed aware of it.

Then I heard the unmistakable sound of thick liquid sloshing onto a hard surface. An older man in a side-facing seat in the back reached up to open a window. The young hipster was slumped over in the seat in front of him, his white shirt now stained with amber droplets. His friend put an arm around him.

My stomach flinched in empathy: the weakness, vulnerability and pain in vomiting usually makes me cry too. When a girl on my school bus in elementary threw up, we stopped for a few minutes while the driver covered it up. But tonight, the 4 kept rolling. My stop was next.

*Cross posted on Rapid Transit District, which chronicles observations and experiences taking transit in Los Angeles.

Anyway, I politely answer her questions but I don’t really look at her or attempt to engage in a conversation. But she keeps at it and eventually I warm up a little and ask her about her self. We end up having a really long conversation on the bus and I totally miss my stop, ending up at the end of the line. But she was cute! And I got her number. I don’t think a girl has ever picked me up on a bus before. Oh, Minneapolis.

anyway, he started talking to me and did not shut up until he got off the bus. he was like, “i’ve lived here for 53 years . . . you have a very good nature about you . . . you have a very good stature . . . you look just like my sister – cute as a button . . . you are handsome and beautiful.” ICK!!!!!

then he really started freaking me out when he asked where i was going and all i said was “work.” there was no way i was telling him where i was going or what i do. he told me i was too young to work and i look like i’m 18. i didn’t answer him. he seemed pretty harmless, but still yucky. he started guessing what i do. “are you going to be a dentist? a mathematician? a doctor? a bus driver? . . . ” and on and on.

then he says, “i really want to know what you do. if you tell me i’ll give you one of my teeth. i’ll pull it right out of my mouth. i only have 11 of them left.” YIKES!!!!! i told him he would just have to keep wondering. so anyway, he said his stop was next. funny thing is, it was also my stop. there was no way i was getting out of the bus with him. i thought he would follow me to work. so . . . there i am, still on the bus. the driver asked me where i was going then being i’d been on it so long. i told him that i stayed on cuz that guy was freaking me out. he said that is fine. he brought me to another bus that i had to get on to get back onto colorado blvd. to get to work. so finally finally finally, i got of the bus and walked to work.

A very proper older woman in front of me grimmaced as the talker spouted f-bombs, A-holes and Sh%& holes!
I turned and said “Excuse me? Could you tone it down a bit” The older woman in front of me also turned and said – “Yeah – excuse me?”

The talker replied to the person on the phone ” I guess I am talking too loud”

I blurted “And all the swearing is inappropriate – have some respect for the rest of the people on the bus!”

At this point, the driver walked up towards my seat and just stared at the Talker waiting for a reply.

The woman failed to apologize.

What is wrong with people? As the driver pointed to the signs that clearly ask to limit cell phone use etc, she just huffed and puffed.

A little respect and brevity can go a long way!!

We get to Midway & the oldest woman pulls out a bottle of Steel Reserve wrapped in a paper bag (I could see the label). Normally, I wouldn’t say anything, but there was a 5 year old there. I went and told the bus driver and she watched the woman. When she started to drink, the driver told her she couldn’t and if the bottle had alcohol in it, she’d have to get off the bus.

The woman’s excuse? It didn’t have beer in it, it had water.

I didn’t see what happened next; my stop was up.

I’m wondering, though–should I have told the bus driver at all or just let the woman go on with her business?

The most interesting segment was when I was taking my family back from Culver City after seeing fireworks one Fourth of July. A prostitute took a cell call, and in a loud voice interviewed a new prospective client and then set up a meeting, clearly stating her address and apartment number within earshot of 40 or 50 people, many of whom understood at least a little English.

I endured the two-hour-and-fifteen-minute ride from the county line to downtown Miami a couple times. To keep the young folk from ripping up the seats, they provide sitting accomodations made of hard plastic. I had to abandon the practice due to a lack of meat on my own seat. I walked around as if crippled for a week after the last such trip. South Florida also has a commuter train called the Tri-Rail, as it serves three counties. My son and I found nowhere to purchase tickets one Sunday, and were socked with a $50 fine when the rent-a-cop went through the train verifying payment. Two weeks later, we won a vacation in the Orlando area from the agency that runs the line. The prize included two nights in a very nice suite hotel and eight admission tickets to our choice of the major theme parks. But getting the 220 miles to the theme park area was our problem, as was food, which was priced 60-100% above that available in town…25 miles away. I told my mother I wasn’t sure I could afford to win many more contests.

Still, when it works out, the bus is a wonderful way to get around. My biggest problem has always been that you can get just about anywhere in the early evening, but there’s no way to get home until the next morning in many cases.

One day they were riding and after a bit I noticed that there was no sound of the question-answer exchange. I started tuning in a bit and heard Maya start a question and then stop suddenly. I looked in the mirror and saw that her mother had a cookie broken up on her lap. Every time Maya started a sentence Mom would take a piece of cookie and pop it in her daughter’s mouth. I guess everybody needs a break once in awhile.