One of our clients said this to me recently, repeating one of the most common and obvious bits of useless business advice given: just get out there. Everyone already knows it, but hardly anyone does it.

Of course you don’t get out there, but why not?

There are two things going on, one in the heart and one in the head. Let’s break them down.

Heart First: It’s Not Just Fear That’s Got You

The fuel for wanting to get “out there” comes from knowing your business needs clients. While you may be nervous, you may have fear, you can always work through the fear.

The bigger problem is about how your heart wants to be humble and in service. The heart doesn’t need limelight. It doesn’t need to be special.

And your heart certainly doesn’t want to go out and “get” people.

Screeeeech! Your heart has put on the brakes, making it impossible to just “get out there.” Not good for your business.

I’ll get to the solution in a moment, but for now just rest easy and don’t beat yourself up. Your heart has a legitimate reason for not wanting to get out there, and you can honor yourself for knowing that it’s okay not to push through your heart.

Ask your heart two questions: (1) Is it okay to exist and take up space? (2) Is it okay to make yourself visible to people who are struggling?

I suggest you ask these questions with sincerity, meaning bringing a willingness to be surprised by the answer. Let them be sincere questions, and let your heart bring you real answers.

Head Next: Where Is “Out There?”

Next up is just confusion. Because, really, where in the heck is “out there?” You grab some business cards, you grab your phone, you have a nice-looking shirt on, clean shoes. You walk out the door and… accost people at the bus stop? Hand out business cards at a cafe? Get a sandwich board and parade through downtown?

Even going to networking events can seem strange and forbidding, although there is a heart-centered way to network.

Part of the reason it’s hard to just “get out there” is because there’s a step prior to going. And the prior step?

Research First

This is when the perennial question comes up, “Who are you trying to reach?”  If you have some notion of who, then the where becomes a bit easier.

Your business exists to help people with a problem. When your people are having the problem you help them with, where do they go? What do they do? What happens?

What kind of communities do they gather in? What resources do they take advantage of? What email lists, Facebook groups, community groups, support groups, clubs, etc do they go to?

What books, magazines, blogs, newsletters do they read? What conferences do they go to?

List’em out. Don’t know? Ask people you know. Ask Google. Ask Twitter. You know, research.

Next Gather Your Goods

What free resources do you have to offer folks you help? Articles, booklets, videos, audios?

Digital is easier, physical can be a little tougher. We created a compilation CD to hand out at conferences in exchange for folks signing up for our list. My friend Jim has sample sizes of his crackers to hand out at fairs and grocery stores, or to ship to retailers.

Now You Can Get Out There

Now that you can see who needs help, know where they are, and have something to give them, doesn’t it all feel a bit easier? Your head has the clarity of knowing where to go and what to offer, and your heart has the ease of going out to give, rather than to take.

Another Little Mention

What I’m talking about here combines two of the key elements a business needs to move into momentum: Creating Content and Heart-Centered Networking.

We’re going to be covering the six elements of business momentum in our next course, aptly named Momentum: Three Journeys to An Ongoing Flow of Clients and Money. It starts September 2. We’ll be opening registration next week.

Get On Out There!

Are you getting out there? If not, what are your next steps?

If you are getting out there, can you share some inspiring stories and examples for those who aren’t?

p.s. Need hands-on help?

We have three top-notch official Heart of Business practitioners available to dig into your business with you. See who you feel most drawn to: Yollana, Judy or Jason:

The Organic Business Development Program.

p.p.s. Or how about an entire community?

Our online community for heart-centered business owners, The Business Oasis, has been around since 2005. A lot of compassionate help, on-point practical help for business, and heart-centered help that has room for all of who you are.

Join us: The Business Oasis.

How about you? Do you believe your success is based on what you know and what you can do?

If you’re pretty sure that you’ll take your business to the next level as soon as you:

• learn some guru’s sales secret
• master social marketing and attract oodles of subscribers and followers and friends
• learn C++ or consultative sales skills, or can speak fluent Spanish
• read that best-selling business book that everybody is talking about

You probably believe to a greater or lesser extent that success depends on how much you know and the number of skills you possess.

It’s a seductive promise: learn more and you’ll get more. It’s particularly seductive if your success is based primarily on your reputation as an expert or your mastery of a particular skill.

I’ve found, however, that after a point, what you know is far less important than who you are.

My Very Unhappy Client

I have a client who was unhappy with my work, who I have to thank for bringing me insight about the relative importance of the quality of my character.

Recently I began working with a new client. Things seemed to get off to a good start during our initial discussion, and I felt I could help with her marketing goals.

Our first session didn’t go well, however. A few days later, my client sent me an email expressing her disappointment with my work. She felt I was not well-prepared and that I didn’t seem to understand what she and her business needed.

This was really hard, painful, for me to hear. I for sure could have been more thorough about preparing.

The piece about “not understanding her needs” was harder for me, because one of my strengths is understanding some of the more subtle qualities that make clients special, so they can bring those qualities out more visibly in their marketing.

My initial instinct was to “fix” the situation. To prove to this client that I could be whatever she needed me to be.

So I wrote a sincere apology to her taking responsibility for my lack of preparation and admitting that I could have done a better job listening and asking questions.

I asked what her goals were and what would it would look like if she met them. My client told me she was wanting help with specific marketing activities, how to get better results from what she was already doing, that sort of thing.

So between that time and our second session, I was a fount of helpful marketing “how-to” information. I focused on being helpful and generous.

My client was very appreciative and assured me that my suggestions and ideas were very valuable.

After our second session, which seemed to go a lot better than the first, my client told me that “it just wasn’t clicking.” She couldn’t say exactly why it wasn’t clicking, only that she’d had better experiences working with other marketers.

What I did was listen, I didn’t argue, and when the client finished, I thanked her for her candor, apologized that our current situation hadn’t worked out and offered recommendations to two other marketing consultants who might serve her needs better.

What My Unhappy Client Taught Me

Given a choice I wish there were an easier way to learn then making mistakes and dealing with painful consequences. But I’ve yet to find that easier way.

I learned two lessons from this experience:

Lesson #1: Character Pays

Part of being a person of character has to do with being fully responsible as a business owner. It doesn’t mean being responsible for the other person’s happiness or success.

It does, though, mean being fully responsible for everything that was within my ability to control: how I showed up, my preparation, what I did to make things right, and how I responded to their dissatisfaction.

Lesson #2: Character Often Trumps Know-How and Skills

I learned my second lesson during a conversation with a smart friend and colleague. We were talking about my situation with this client, and my friend pointed out that there were several times when it seemed I hadn’t listened as well as I could have to my client.

Had I known, I might have picked up on some subtle cues that my client was feeling frustrated and misunderstood. “Wow,” I said to my friend, “there’s so much involved in being fully present with another person. It’s so easy to get disconnected. I bet I could have been half as knowledgeable about marketing and been more effective with this client if I’d have just paid more attention.

This bit about being more present was the big insight for me. I’ve heard more experienced consultants and coaches say that their knowledge of the client’s particular business is far less important than how they were showing up for their client. Frankly, I thought it was a bunch of “woo woo” coaching crap.

However, I’m now, more than ever, appreciating the importance of character and maturity, and accountability.

Bottom Line

If your success as a business owner is due in part to your expertise and skill and you’ve spent years building your expertise and skills, I commend you. It takes real commitment to get to the level you’re at.

However, after a point, what matters more is your capacity to deal with interpersonal, relational situations responsibly and with integrity of character. I believe people will forgive a lot if you show up as a committed, responsible, and caring person.

We scheduled this now intentionally knowing that she has no big launch or upsell coming up. It’s simply about listening to her, getting to know her, and the next time she offers something you’ll know, whether you want it or not.

For right now, just soak it in. Time to go register. (The link is an affiliate link, so if eventually you buy something from her, we receive a referral fee.)

And if you’ve already registered, make sure you’re there.

Article: I’m Being Consistent: Now What?

Last week I talked about why I never hired that guy to patch my driveway: the main issue I was hammering was consistency in marketing and showing up. Show up consistently, I explained, and you’re going to have an easier time getting clients.

I did have one caveat, though:

“You may need to tweak your sales process. You may need to make your offer more compelling.”

Being consistent is critical, but it’s not enough. Your sales process has to work.

Sales Process? Isn’t That Just Chewing People Up?

If you’ve got a heart, you might feel sick to your stomach every time you try to systematize or create consistency in the parts of your business that need delicacy and caring.

Sales is one of those places that needs a LOT of heart to be successful without leaving a bad taste in someone’s mouth. So turning it into a process might cause you to worry about it being scummy.

There are two things I want to say to that. First, never forget that a business exists to help people with some problem they are facing. It has a goal and an endpoint. Second, if you’re just hanging out with friends, you don’t want to turn that into a process (though if you want to get all beepidy-boppidy on me, you can say that looking at you calendar, looking up your friends’ number, then calling and inviting them over is a process.)

Your potential clients want to enjoy connecting with you, but they aren’t just hanging out. They’re struggling with something. If you don’t have a clear sales process, a way for your potential client and you to evaluate whether you fit together, and whether the offer is what they want and need, then you’ll end up wasting their time and yours.

Over the years people have pitched me on ideas or services and kept coming back, and back, and back to check in with me. If the process is dragged out, or nonexistent, then it all feels floppy. The potential client ends up having a decision to make taking up space in their brain and life, but no way to make the decision. It becomes a painful, incomplete interaction that drags on and on.

Yet, when there’s a clear way to evaluate it, and it all happens in a few days or a week or two, it’s easy to say yes or no without hard feelings and move on.

So yes, you do want a sales process, because of the mercy and compassion it brings to you and to your clients.

What does a sales process look like? Here are the elements:

The Elements of a Heart-Centered Sales Process

First you need a clear offer. The offer is clear on four things: who it’s for, what problem it solves, what the client gets when they buy, and how much it costs.

Any lack of clarity here will stall your process indefinitely.

Example: “Struggling with digestion issues? For people whose stomachs are delicate and always upset. It includes a 30 day cleanse with an initial assessment, then four weekly appointments, specific menus and herbs, and a follow-up assessment afterwards. It costs $750.”

That’s not intended as marketing copy, it’s just the bullet point clarity of what the offer is. There would be even more detail listed there—how many menus and recipes, what are the herbs and how much of them. How long are the appointments and what are they for.

Second, you need a way to assess the potential client’s fit. An assessment is a series of questions that reveal to both you and the client whether the offer is a match for them. You might ask these questions outright, and some of them you might just hold in your heart and observe how the answers are revealed through people’s actions.

• What is the situation now?
• What have they already tried?
• What kind of progress have they made without your help?
• How important or critical is this to them?
• Do you and the client share relevant values?
• Do you all click?
• Do they have the time to follow through?
• Do they have the resources to commit?

You may well have other questions. What do you need to know, and what do they need to know, to evaluate whether it’s a fit or not?

Third, you need to ask the question. You know what question I mean. The question, “Uh, so do you want to buy it?”

It can be awkward asking the question, but if the conversation or process flows well and naturally, and if you’ve kept a good heart connection throughout, then asking them if they want to buy or enroll or sign-up won’t be as painful as you think.

The truth is that they are dying a little waiting for you to ask. They know the question is coming, but they don’t know if you have more to explain, or what the next step is. If you show leadership here, simply by asking the question, they can lean into you more.

Your heart knows when to ask. Trust it.

Fourth, you need to know when to let go. It’s hard for people to say no. If someone says yes or maybe but doesn’t show up time and time again with a commitment, stop chasing them. Let them have their space.

Know that they respect you too much to want to upset you with a “no.” Yes, it’s a little dysfunctional. No, you can’t do anything about it.

Let them go. They’ll come back when they’re ready, if it’s right for them.

How Clear Is Your Sales Process?

Time to take a look. Of course each step has nuances and details, but if you get the minimum in place, then you are going to find the consistency of your marketing start to pay off.

Aside About Our Next Course: Almost a Sales Pitch

I can’t help but mention that the first week in August we’ll be opening registration for our next course, Momentum: Three Journeys to an Ongoing Flow of Clients and Money. One of the modules is all about the sales process. I just thought I’d mention it because if you need more in-depth help with this topic, it’s coming up.

More on the course later.

Where’s Your Heart?

Sometimes it’s all too easy to think that being in your heart in business is just about being squishy and full of love and goodwill for everyone and everything. It’s all too easy to forget that the heart is the strongest, most enduring muscle in the body. It works constantly from before birth until you die, and it gets a LOT done every day.

Having your heart in business means that you care for people in grounded, practical ways. You don’t disappear on the people who need you most; instead you show up consistently for them. You don’t waste their time with long, drawn-out, vague sales processes. Instead, you put clear offers in place, have clear assessments, and move them along. You don’t leave them dying inside wondering what the next step is. You ask them if they want what you’re offering.

Tell me, did I leave anything out? Any nuances or details that you would like to add? Or maybe share where you struggle the most with this.

p.s. Need Someone To Dig In And Help You?

We have three fantastic practitioners ready to roll up their sleeves to support your heart and your business with love and the nitty-gritty of getting clients. Check them out and see if you click with Jason, Judy or Yollana.

Organic Business Development Program.

A few people have asked about working with me directly. I work with very few individual clients, since most of my time is spent supporting our team and our class participants. I do have limited slots for one-off business assessments. If you’re curious you can read this page:

Work with Mark.

Sierra shared with me that she’s ready to open a lemonade stand. She plans on selling lemonade for 50 cents per ice-cold cup and has started brainstorming the best locations around town. She asked me if I would help her with this exciting new venture.

Naturally Asking for Help

Asking for help is something that kids learn to do naturally. It starts from the early age of needing help with basic necessities like drinking and eating. As they grow older they ask you to hand them that ripe pear they can’t quite reach off the counter. The learning continues to strengthen this idea that we all are in community and that others are around to help us fill our needs.

However, somewhere around adolescence, you may remember this, you began having unsavory experiences when making requests, which turns the pleasure sour.

Requests Become Difficulty

From then on, you began learning that if you couldn’t do something on your own, help wouldn’t necessarily come your way so quickly. You were expected to become independent and not to rely on others. You were better off not asking for help, you thought. Asking for help meant that it could cost you later. You learned that people could say, and often did say, “no,” and you reasoned, however misguided, that somehow this was a personal rejection.

I think that most of us over learned this lesson. After several of these experiences, it was just easier to stop making requests.

That is until we began to notice how hard it is to run a successful business, as it is to be in any kind of relationship, without asking others for help.

People Want to Help You

As business owners, it’s easy to forget that being able to contribute gives people a sense of belonging and a sense of connection. Most likely, there are people surrounding you right now that want to help you; they just don’t know how.

Making requests is a skill that you learned as a child; however, you’ve forgotten how helpful this skill is in continuing to grow your business.

Like Sierra’s lemonade stand, your business will benefit greatly by making a few more requests of others a week. If you don’t know where to being, take a look at the keys below.

Keys to Having People Happily Help You:

• Notice when you make requests of others, the feelings or emotions that arise. If there is a tightness or feeling of discomfort, then take some time in Remembrance. Try taking a moment to write down three requests you could make of other people that would help move your business toward profitability. When thinking about each request, notice how you respond physically and emotionally.
  
• Giving others clarity with requests is extremely helpful. Frame your request of others in doable and specific terms. This allows people to know exactly what you need. I was once asked if I could help with a friend’s marketing, although I was happy to be of service, I had no idea how much time was being requested of me and what specific aspects of marketing would be most beneficial. With a few questions, I was able to find out that they wanted an hour of my time to review a sales letter.
• Remember that belonging and connection are basic human needs. By making requests of others, you are gifting people around you with these opportunities. Take a look right now at your to do list and see if there is anything on it that you can delegate to someone else. This will help you receive support and help them be a contribution. It really is a win-win.

What requests could you make of others this week that would help your business move toward more profitability?

However, it ain’t perfect. Built in 1908, there are a number of things that could be more comfortable. Larger closets, cabinets with drawers that open easily. A non-rubble-filled driveway.

You see, we have a super short driveway from the street into the tucked-under garage in our basement. There’s a good ten foot patch or so that is just a mess. The pavement is cracked with grass growing through. Oy.

In the fall of 2002, a few months after we moved in, I was outside the garage when a guy walked up to me. Dressed neatly, crisp handshake, looked me in the eye. He handed me a flyer letting me know he could patch that driveway and make it look beautiful.

Intriguing! Alas, we had just moved in, we were in the midst of Holly’s health crisis and spending big cashola on alternative health. We just didn’t have it to hire him. I took the flyer, smiled, told him I was interested but not this year, and he walked away.

Eight years later, I remember meeting him but not his face. Lordy Lordy, I don’t have the flyer, his name, or his phone number. I wouldn’t know him if he sat down at our kitchen table and had breakfast with us.

So tell me, why didn’t he get the job?

While you’re pondering that, let me tell you another story.

Painting Quotes

A friend of ours is starting an interior painting business here in Portland. As part of his market research, he called up several local painters and asked for quotes to repaint the inside of his own home.

Out of a handful of painters, none of them gave him a quote on the spot. None of them got him the quote later that day. Some never got back to him. Most got back to him two days later with an email, but never even followed up with a phone call.

He and I just shook our heads, wondering how people stay in business.

I wonder if any of those painters are hurting for clients.

While you’re pondering that situation, let me tell you about my cousin Margo.

Sprucing Up Yards

I recently found out that I have a second cousin here in Portland, Margo, and we’ve been enjoying getting to know each other. She does landscaping and yard work, and was asking me about getting more clients.

Because of her situation, I told her not to worry about a website or anything fancy right now. I suggested doing a flyer campaign. Yup, straight up old school flyers.

Only I suggested that instead of “yard work” or “landscaping” that she put her Who-Who-What on it. And I told her about a friend of mine, Corva Rose, who does aesthetic tree pruning in Albuquerque. Every season Corva sends out these cute hand-drawn postcards. She draws a tree, some fun facts about the season, and lists out which trees need what kind of care at this time of year.

I suggested Margo target her neighborhood and do a flyer campaign, putting out new flyers every two weeks or so for some time, making each one different, interesting, personable. I said she should include her photo and a bit about why she cares and why she’s so good.

I told her about the Hierarchy of Choice, and how long it can take a potential client to actually decide to make a significant hiring decision.

I asked her, have you ever seen anyone do a flyer campaign like that? She hadn’t, and I hadn’t either.

Sounds like an opportunity.

Three Examples of Randomness

Whether it’s the guy who wanted to patch my driveway, the interior painters, or the fly-by-night flyering tactics most people use, they are all examples of what my first marketing teacher Robert Middleton calls randomness in marketing.

I don’t know what happened to that guy who wanted to patch my driveway. I do know we would have hired him by now if he, or his flyers, had kept coming back over time.

I don’t know what happened to those painters my friend called. But I’ll bet my friend isn’t going to be hurting for clients in his own business.

After having worked with literally thousands of solo and small businesses over the last ten years, I can tell you that one big, simple ingredient most people are missing is consistency.

I’ll let you in on a secret: if you just keep showing up consistently, assuming you’re offering something people want, you’ll get clients. You may need to tweak your sales process. You may need to make your offer more compelling. But if you keep showing up, people will hire you.

Don’t Go Nutso

Sometimes people get overwhelmed when I tell them I write an article every week. “Every week!” they shriek, “I can’t do that.”

I don’t like folks overwhelming or judging themselves, because they may not do anything at all. So you don’t have to write every day or every week. Margo doesn’t have to draw and distribute flyers like an insane art student who downed nineteen double espressos.

But she, and you, do have to show up consistently.

Consistently. Not randomly. Once a week, once every two weeks, once a month, it depends on your audience and your business. My friend Corva has shown up season after season, for years now. She went from a one-woman show with long dry spells in the winter to having a whole crew working for her year-round.

You may be thinking, “I’m not a machine!” You aren’t, and please don’t act like one. But human beings can be very consistent. For instance, and thankfully, your heart is extremely consistent. Sometimes speeding up, sometimes slowing down. But it shows up minute after minute, keeping you alive, and keeping the flow going.

Surely you can bring the consistency of your heart into your marketing?

C’mon, be honest. What has been random about your marketing? And what can you honestly commit to in making it consistent starting now?

p.s. Need Help With How You Language Your Message?

Isabel Parlett and I have known each other, and shared clients, for the last few years. Just recently we were able to meet in person, share goodies with each other, and become friends, which I’m grateful for.

Because she’s such a genius when it comes to crafting a message for hard-to-describe services, I wanted you to know about her. So I’m going to host a call with her next Wednesday, July 21. Yes, she does sell products and services, and yes she may mention them.

However, this is not part of a big launch on her part. I just want you to know who she is. If you decide to hire her or buy her stuff later, that’s great (and as a disclosure, we are affiliates of hers, which means I get a referral fee if you do buy something from her.)

If you want practical, detailed insight on how to craft a message when what you do is hard to communicate, she’s the one. Join us for the call!

p.p.s. Do you need a deeper heart connection with your business?

We have three star practitioners, Judy, Jason and Yollana, ready to help you one-on-one with your business.

Check out the Organic Business Development program and schedule a no-cost call with one of them.

A few of the advantages include wisdom, experience, self-knowledge, confidence. You might even have a savings account to lean into. Or your children, if you have any, might be old enough to either not need constant attention or to actually help out.

Unfortunately, there are some distinct disadvantages as well.

Many of the disadvantages come from the fact that growing a new business takes time. Some things can happen quickly, but the fact remains that I continue to see it taking the average person two to three years to achieve true momentum and stability. Before that there are all kinds of challenges exacerbated by age.

Challenge One: Decades of Competence

I was speaking with Laura Roeder while interviewing her for The Business Oasis the other day, and she said something that really clicked for me: “In running a business, you are constantly doing things you’ve never done before.”

You know what happens when you do things for the first time? You make mistakes. You’re uncertain. You feel like a fool.

By the time you’ve reached the second half of life, you tend to become accustomed to feeling competent if not masterful with many of the things you do in your life.

If you decide to start a business, you can scratch feeling competent.

Just the other day we were doing strategic planning at a level I’ve never done before. Kate Williams was leading us, and let me tell you, there were many times I felt stooopid. She would say something, and I just didn’t get it. She was making distinctions that took a long time to click for me.

Yet strategic planning has become such a necessity. If I wasn’t willing to feel like an idiot, Heart of Business would miss out on an incredibly necessary part of maturation.

One of the reasons I love spiritual practice so much is that it helps me remain humble and appreciate beginner’s mind in the face of feeling like a fool.

In what ways are you willing to let go of the comfort in competence you’ve built up over decades? Is it okay to feel like an idiot?

Challenge Two: Needing Comfort

When I was in my 20s, I lived in a flat in the Mission district of San Francisco. I paid three hundred bucks a month. My furniture and most of my clothes were second hand or dumpster-dived, except my paramedic uniform which was issued by my employer.

I lived on burritos. I had an okay car and a bicycle.

Now I’m in my forties. We have a house. We eat well (although burritos continue to play a significant nutritional role). We pay for childcare help. There are creature comforts that have somehow inched their way from luxury status to necessity.

Also, my body just needs more support. I don’t recover from all nighters like I did two decades ago. I spend money on an acupuncturist to help me feel vital. It works, but two decades ago the vitality was just *there.*

Because of the time it takes to get a business truly running, it can leave a household with an uncomfortably tight belt.

At these times, spiritual practice becomes deeply nourishing. It helps me distinguish the “shadow comfort” of material items, as my friend Jennifer Louden calls them, from the true nourishment my heart is needing.

For you, what has inched from luxury to the necessity?

Challenge Three: Realistic Expectations

What was that quote? “Do everything now while you’re young and still know everything.” There’s a simple confidence and tackle-the-world oomph that people have when they’re young.

As we age, we experience the full breadth of life. People die. Opportunities don’t come through. Failure happens.

Age may bring groundedness and wisdom, but it also brings more caution. Instead of the automatic, “Hey, let’s go tackle that mountain,” there’s more of a “yes, but…” that tempers our dreams.

Going full out can make us look foolish sometimes (see Challenge One above). Mistakes happen. Things don’t work. Yet, going full out brings the gift of being in motion, of belief.

This is another reason I love spiritual practice. Deep heart guidance is a more than adequate replacement for blind foolish confidence. The challenge, of course, is to not let your “realistic expectations” undermine either your guidance or your confidence.

What guidance, or straight-up blind, foolish confidence, is calling to you? What realistic expectations can you set aside in service of moving your business forward?

These three challenges, decades of competence, needing comfort, and realistic expectations can sink those of us starting businesses who have a few years under our belts. Thankfully there are remedies in the heart for these.

Which of these challenges do you face? Or are there others I haven’t named? And how do you work your way around them?

p.s. Shortest Marketing Conference Ever

As one of 60 social media leaders chosen, I was interviewed for 60 seconds . Me? What were they thinking? Well, it was only sixty-seconds; I couldn’t do that much harm. Check it out: The Influencer Project.

p.p.s. Do you need a deeper heart connection with your business?

We have three star practitioners, Judy, Jason and Yollana, ready to help you one-on-one with your business.

Check out the Organic Business Development program and schedule a no-cost call with one of them.

p.p.p.s. How about a truly heart-centered community for your business?

Since 2005, The Business Oasis has been helping heart-centered business owners build their business from the heart. An active community, resources and tools for your business, plus our three practitioners serve as Oasis Guides helping out.

Here’s a quote from a member:

“I want to thank Mark Silver and his amazing Team at the Heart of Business for being so incredible. I have not found the support, guidance and sharing so intimate in a business community ever.

“All the fellow business people on the Tent, the members Forums, pull together to create an atmosphere of acceptance and support like none other I have seen.

“I am honoured to be part of such a fantastic community that truly brings a radiance to my life. I know I can write in at any time, and not very long after, there will be a note back, a word of wisdom, a bit of guidance, or a new resource for me to tap into.

“Thank you for offering a site that is true to its name.”

Come check out the Oasis and see if it’s for you: The Business Oasis.

While I was struggling with the lock, I heard a noise coming from the second floor, as if someone were already inside. I froze, then stood up and backed away to where my wife, sons, parents, and grandmother were all standing on the sidewalk. Something flew out from the roof.

Then I woke up with a sudden start. The clock read 2 a.m. What a dream.

It turned out to be an ominous dream, because the one family member missing on the sidewalk was my grandfather Philip Silver, who died a day or so afterwards—this past June 20, Father’s Day here in the United States At the age of 93, and as one of the last surviving World War II veterans, he had lived a very full life, long enough to know his great-grandchildren.

My grandfather was a strong, proud man. He had a sharp political mind, and he played a mean game of golf. Like many men of his generation, he didn’t easily or often express the more tender emotions, but the times I saw them in his eye and heard them in his voice left me confident that he carried plenty of love in his heart.

Then I saw him in tears holding our infant sons at their bris. I stood amazed and silent at the holy image of love overcoming his heart as he cried without shame.

There are times when I can feel how precious life is and how wasteful it is to not bring love and awareness to every moment. The essence of a fulfilled life, it seems to me, is catching that balance between enjoying and expressing the preciousness of this one life we have, without getting caught up in thinking that we’re more important than we really are.

As I wrote about two weeks ago, these are urgent times. The amount of change my grandparents witnessed is almost beyond belief.

Both he and my grandmother, who survives him, were born before 1920. As a reference, Henry Ford opened his assembly line for the first mass-produced automobile in 1913. Orville and Wilbur Wright achieved the first successful flight in 1903. Radio broadcasting began in 1920. The first working television was introduced in 1926. It was in the midst of this that his own parents held him as a precious, tiny infant.

Zip forward to 2010 and the era of the internet, the one-person global business, and instant free video communication.

Can you imagine living through that much change? Yet, with so much gained, there’s also been so much lost. Suburban sprawl has disconnected many of us from regular contact with the natural world. Technological progress has disconnected us from a sense of stillness. And increased mobility has cost many of us our sense of place and experience with intergenerational family.

Both my sister’s family and my family live in different time zones from each other and from my parents and grandparents. Consequently we missed being at my grandfather’s side when he passed. Before this moment of crisis, we missed many moments of time with the elder generations.

As I face the loss of my grandfather, I also wonder what lies ahead for my children.

The pursuit of newness and of more is always going to hold a fascination for us humans. Yet, we’ve been chasing that newness and more to such an extent that we threaten our connection to our past and our future.

There’s a gift in all that we’ve created in the last century. Collectively we have raised a tremendous tide of change. My grandparents have contributed to and lived through that change with as much grace as they could muster, which has been considerable.

As we continue to build our businesses and move ourselves and our own children toward the future, my heart wants to temper the pursuit of “more” and “new” with extra thoughtfulness and consideration for where we really want to go.

If you have a moment, I ask for prayers of love and support for our family, and especially for my grandmother Ruth, who has lost her husband after sixty-eight years together. If you have another moment, I ask you to pour prayers of love and strength into your business and your life, so that we may all contribute in the healthiest way possible to the future we’re all moving into together.

p.s. Do you need a deeper heart connection with your business?

We have three star practitioners, Judy, Jason and Yollana, ready to help you one-on-one with your business.

Check out the Organic Business Development program and schedule a no-cost call with one of them.

p.p.s. How about a truly heart-centered community for your business?

Since 2005, The Business Oasis has been helping heart-centered business owners build their business from the heart. An active community, resources and tools for your business, plus our three practitioners are Oasis Guides helping out.

Here’s a quote from a member: “I want to thank Mark Silver and His amazing Team at the Heart of Business for being so incredible. I have not found the support, guidance and sharing so intimate in a business community ever. All the fellow business people on the Tent, the members Forums, pull together to create an atmosphere of acceptance and support like none other I have seen.

“I am honoured to be part of such a fantastic community that truly brings a radiance to my life. I know I can write in at any time, and not very long after there will be a note back, a word of wisdom, a bit of guidance, or a new resource for me to tap into.

“Thank you for offering a site that is true to its name.”

Come check out the Oasis and see if it’s for you: The Business Oasis.

I hear that. Actually, I hear a lot more than that. I hear the jets constantly passing overhead toward Portland International, I hear traffic outside my window. I hear my kids crying and running on the floor above my basement office.

I read, and translate into sound in my head, the constant flow of voices on Twitter, on email, on the blog, in the forums, from clients, from colleagues, from vendors.

Under all of that, I hear the hum of the fan on my laptop, on my backup hard drive and my archive hard drive. I hear the hum of electricity going to the lights. The little click and hum of the space heater. The washing machine running on the other side of the house from my basement office.

Add to that the hordes of yeti thoughts running through my head constantly, constantly. “You didn’t post that interview yet!” “You haven’t started the weekly article yet!” (“Okay, now I have, but I haven’t finished it yet!”)

There’s so much noise, I suspect we’re all going a little crazy.

It’s easy to want to run your business from within the noise. Indeed, there seems to be no other choice. Plus, when you’re not flat-out exhausted, it’s so exciting to move with the crowd.

Community is one thing. I love community and receive so much support from colleagues and friends around me.

I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about the noise and motion of the crowd. It’s a false excitement. It’s glittering costume jewelry of no substance. And it is exhausting.

Creation Manifests From the Void

In Sufism we say, “La ilaha illa’llah,” which translates into “there is nothing but the One, Source.” It’s an expression of unity, of non-duality.

What’s interesting about the phrase is that it starts out with “La” which means “No.” So more accurately, the translation is, “No! There is nothing but the One.”

It’s not a denial of our bodies or our world. It’s not an attempt to escape what’s true and beautiful around us. It’s a powerful statement of negating illusion, of claiming the emptiness as our birthright, as our nest, as our refuge. No! All of this noise and glitter is not what my heart thirsts for.

Everyone I talk to who is successful in business, by their own standards, guards the silence. Whether it’s long walks in nature, meditation, devotional practices, or something else, there is that connection to silence.

It’s hard to preserve it. As that one person asked at the beginning, “I wish I could master connecting with the silence.”

If this is your wish, let me explain something that will help make connecting easier.

The Silence is Powerful

Silence is not the absence of noise, it is an active presence. If you listen with your heart, you can taste it. Take a moment now and listen for it in your heart.

Under the noise, behind, within the noise, there is a silent presence. It’s palpable.

Don’t try to grab it. Don’t try to hold onto it. Instead, invite it in. Give it permission to take over everything within you, to push aside the noise, to fill you up.

Let the silence master you.

I know that some approaches to meditation have you exert your will on your mind, asking it to focus and quiet. That’s a very useful and powerful practice.

This is different. This is asking for help in letting go. This is inviting in the silence, and letting it push the noise aside. It’s about getting lost, about drowning.

Making a request in your heart for help does require admitting that you can’t do it on your own. It does require admitting to some weakness and a desire for help.

And what if that were okay? What if it were okay to ask for help?

Try It Now

Whatever noise is taking up your attention in this moment, kids, music, Twitter, notice it. Notice all the noise in your space. Take a minute to focus in on each one.

Next, in your heart say “No.” If you like you can try the phrase “La ilaha illa’llah,” which is pronounced pretty much like it reads. You’re not resisting the noise, just acknowledging that all of that hubbub is not the truth.

Third, feel the longing in your heart for silence. Let the longing deepen.

Finally, ask in your heart for help in tasting the silence that is there and allowing it to flood in. Give permission to the silence to master you, to be your anchor.

Bask until the silence leaves. Rinse, repeat if desired.

Now, take a look at whatever you were working on in your business. How has the silence informed or changed it?

Or if you have a different way of accessing silence that works for you.

p.s. Do you need a deeper heart connection with your business?

We have three star practitioners, Judy, Jason and Yollana, ready to help you one-on-one with your business.

Check out the Organic Business Development program and schedule a no-cost call with one of them.

p.p.s. How about a truly heart-centered community for your business?

Since 2005, The Business Oasis has been helping heart-centered business owners build their business from the heart. An active community, resources and tools for your business, plus our three practitioners are Oasis Guides helping out.

Here’s a quote from a member: “I want to thank Mark Silver and His amazing Team at the Heart of Business for being so incredible. I have not found the support, guidance and sharing so intimate in a business community ever. All the fellow business people on the Tent, the members Forums, pull together to create an atmosphere of acceptance and support like none other I have seen.”

“I am honoured to be part of such a fantastic community that truly brings a radiance to my life. I know I can write in at any time, and not very long after there will be a note back, a word of wisdom, a bit of guidance, or a new resource for me to tap into.”

“Thank you for offering a site that is true to its name.”

Come check out the Oasis and see if it’s for you: The Business Oasis

I carry the awareness of the waiting prayer for two hours, until I make it back home to my office. I do the ritual washing of my hands, face, and feet, take out my prayer rug, and face northeast.

Then I breathe.

My prayer carries me through various positions, my forehead approaching, then touching, the floor, then rising up again.

Because the midday prayer is done silently, the silence of the devotion carries me.

I’m grateful for this, because my heart is trembling with grief.

Struggling to Express Grief

The gushing bleeding of oil in the Gulf of Mexico is not anything I can contain. I alternate between numbness, denial and grief. It’s simple: the lifestyle that we’re living, that I’m living, is unsustainable, and it’s killing many things in this world.

We know this. It’s not a surprise, but it’s hard to keep that much pain present.

I believe that our unexpressed grief is a significant fuel on the fire of our unsustainable lifestyle. Grief for the loss of life, the loss of the hope, the loss of beauty and connection.

Have you heard of Farmville? It’s a virtual game within Facebook where you can run a virtual farm. Millions of people are playing this game on a daily basis. Even though it’s a free game, you can spend real money on it if you choose to. And people choose to. More than US$1 billion annually is spent on this game alone.

What are we doing? Where are we putting our resources?

This is not about blame. I don’t blame anyone for numbing out to what’s going on.

Marketing Has Gotten Very Sophisticated

Over the years, more and more psychological tricks have been implemented in marketing and product development. Add extra nicotine to cigarettes, put cheap, high-alcohol beer in convenience stores, make porn and video games and violent movies easily accessible.

Put marketing messages everywhere so that they are nearly inescapable. And make those marketing messages full of the promise of a wealthy, sexy lifestyle that the vast majority of the world’s population can’t reach.

The result? A loss of hope. A disconnection from the true source of our happiness and nourishment. An ever-increasing consumption of material goods.

Resources, money and time, end up being funneled to the very things that continue to hurt us all so much.

Our economy, our marketplace is deeply dysfunctional. Billions spent on war, chemicals and oil, a small fraction of that spent on things that really make a positive difference in our lives. And the rest spent on numbing out to the powerlessness that we all feel when facing it.

Hey, Let Go of That Despair

It’s important to face things as they are. Expressing grief is something I highly recommend.

But don’t indulge in despair. Despair is just another way of avoiding grief. Despair is a decision that things will never work out, that there is no hope.

Instead, think about marketing. Well, first indulge your heart in love, then think about marketing.

Yes, I Said Marketing

There are so many good people doing good things. Sauvie Island Organics here in Portland has a community-supported agriculture program, which means that up to 400 families buy a share in the farm, and then share in the harvest. Delicious, local, organic food delivered directly from the farm.

They have openings. Huh? There are over 1.5 million people in the Portland area, and this farm hasn’t filled all 400 openings?

So much of our attention is taken up in distraction by our dysfunctional economy. Fast food instead of fresh, organic vegetables, for instance.

The healing work that amazing people are doing in sustainable food, in holistic health, in alternative energy, needs to take up a lot more of the attention and resources.

Our local Hollywood Video store is being shuttered because the parent corporation, Movie Gallery, Inc. filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy. I’m guessing that’s because the entertainment dollars have shifted to online downloads and Farmville, among other things.

But wouldn’t it be amazing if they went bankrupt because all of those millions of dollars went to healers, coaches and practitioners of all stripes who were supporting people in regaining wholeness and connecting with each other in meaningful ways instead of zoning out in front of screens?

Marketing Is a Piece of the Answer

We find ourselves in urgent times. There is a desperate need for love, acceptance, and healing. The grief I feel at the distance between where we are and where my heart so longs to live is profound.

If we are going to heal the world, we are going to do it one imperfect step at a time. We need political activism. We need internal healing. We need love and community.

And we need the people doing the good work locally, sustainably, beautifully to be visible. To take up space. To be the recipient of the over-abundance of resources flowing through our culture.

There is a way to do marketing with integrity. There is a way to do it with love and heart and be very effective.

If you struggle with marketing or business even a little bit because of how you’ve seen marketing used, I’m with you. I share that pain.But please don’t abandon the airwaves to those hocking greed and dissatisfaction.

Instead, open your heart to marketing. Open your heart to business. Business is in pain, it’s sick. Don’t abandon it.

Bring your heart, engage with love and integrity, and let’s see if we can come together to claim the space and bring the healing we are all so desperate for.

By the time my forehead has touched the ground for the final time at the end of my prayer, my heart has returned to love. It has found hope and inspiration once more. I remember that the weight of the world is not on my shoulders alone.

You and I are in this together. Let’s take up the space the Divine has given us, and bring your good work out into air, where everyone can see it.

Form your marketing in love, bring it out in inspired action, and connect with the people who need what you do so much more than the alternatives they’re faced with.

p.s. Need Love-Centered, Integrity-Centered Help?

We have three star practitioners, Jason, Judy and Yollana, who are ready to roll up their sleeves and help you get your business visible and working. Take a read, see which one you vibe with, and schedule a conversation with one of them. They are here to help.

p.p.s. Need a Community of Support?

Since 2006 the Business Oasis has been just that—an Oasis for hundreds of people in small business. Combining practical, nitty-gritty business resources and support with heart-centered practices and teachings, the Business Oasis is the home for those who click with the Heart of Business approach.

Very active on a daily basis, with tons of support. Check it out: The Business Oasis.

As someone who grew up in punk rock culture, I happen to enjoy much of what Lee says. I want to add a caveat, however, sometimes leaving money on the table is a disservice to yourself, sometimes it isn’t.

If you’re not familiar with it, “leaving money on the table” is a phrase used in business when you miss out on money in a deal that was there for the asking. For instance, if you charge a client $200 for a service, but they would have gladly paid $500 without blinking, that’s leaving $300 on the table.

Not Fighting With Lee

For people in business who have a heart, leaving money on the table can be a problem, especially if you’re not making a living. Being afraid to know and charge your resonant price can be a problem for you and your clients. Being nervous about taking a stand can be a problem for your business. Refusing to market because you don’t want to bother people means that you and your clients miss out on the connection.

Lee is cheerleading those folks into stepping out with integrity. I applaud that. But that’s no reason to just run out and go crazy.

If worries and concerns about bothering people or doing the wrong thing are slowing you down, good for you. There is a legitimate concern here.

That Money Table is on a Slippery Slope

As I write this, millions of gallons of petroleum are floating through the Gulf of Mexico, landing on beaches and in wetlands, making their inevitable way toward the Atlantic Ocean and elsewhere. It’s an environmental holocaust, and being raised Jewish, I don’t use that word lightly.

British Petroleum (BP), the company who caused this disaster, had a reported 760 “egregious and willful” safety violations in the reporting period prior to the explosion that cracked the pipeline. Wow.

How could anyone, either within BP or the overseeing governmental agencies, allow them to get away with that?

I’m going to make a crazy-guess here that a combination of being afraid to “rock the boat” and an unwillingness to “leave money on the table” were big contributing factors. BP is a large, powerful corporation, and to whistle-blow on them could have severe consequences to any employee who stands up for what’s right. An unenviable situation at best.

Plus, oil is a big money business. When you’re at that scale, there isn’t much discussion about what is enough? Rather, the focus tends to be more-more-more, trying to squeeze every last penny out of the wells, which can lead to short-term foolish decisions to cut costs by cutting corners.

We can blame BP if we want, and they certainly bear a very heavy responsibility here. Yet the truth is that our entire economy is founded in this more-more-more mentality.

When that shows up in the same space as “trying to shine your best” within a small business, the whole thing starts looking a little blurry. It can be very difficult to discern between going full out with your heart and just going full out period and losing touch with a sense of sufficiency and enough-ness.

The entire Gulf of Mexico may not be at risk if you mess up in your decisions, but the idea of leaving an oil slick in your heart or on your customers is enough to give anyone pause.

When Do You Leave Money On the Table?

We sent out a good number of email notices about our Heart of Money course, which started last week. Once the early-bird deadline came, there were still spots left in the course, but I made the decision to stop promoting other than simple reminders at the end of the weekly article.

A few more people probably would’ve signed up before the deadline, but I heard an internal “click” in my heart say, “Enough. The right people have arrived. A few more will come; time to stop.”

So I stopped. And a few more people did evidently feel it was the right thing to sign up, but not because I sent out more notices.

I’m curious if you have stories of when you’ve heard that internal voice say, “Enough.” And how could you tell that it was the right thing to do, and not just fear keeping you small?

Let’s inspire each other to do the right thing without just reacting to fear, even if we haven’t squeezed every last coin out of the deal.

p.s. Hey, did you know we have three fantastic practitioners ready to roll up their sleeves and help you with your business?

Well, one at a time, of course. But they’re there. Come meet Judy, Jason, and Yollana.