Children are what they learn in their very early years, their first conscious moments through early childhood are the most formative. We tend to live the lives of our parents. We do things the way we know how to do them, and that’s generally the way our parents did them. When you hear a thirty-something man speak in a commanding voice every single time he talks to a woman, I’ll show you a man whose father spoke that way to his mother – and a very unhappy mother, since few women live happily in a controlling environment that denigrates them.  Ultimately, he will find a mousy, desperate,  little thing who will allow him to treat her the same way.  They will breed boys who lack respect for women and girls who will accept it.

The values and thoughts of one generation are passed onto the next.

It goes far beyond that, however.  The greater mental paths of success and failure are also passed down from parents to children.  The way people think about their lives, the way they solve, or don’t solve problems, and the degree to which they feel they are responsible for their own lives are passed down.  That’s the secret behind “sins of the fathers.”  It’s your bad thinking that damns your progeny to failure.  It’s your positive, forward, problem solving mindset and the sense of self-confidence and self-worth you instill in your children that fuels their success.

You can’t teach children what you don’t know. You can’t show them values you don’t have. Your “sins” become their sins and they will be in your children’s children down through all the generations – until someone recognizes the problems and work to change them.  That’s what is meant by ‘the sins of the fathers will be vested in the children.”  It really isn’t about breaking the Ten Commandments.  It’s about the mindset that allows you to do it.

It’s hard to always keep an open mind. It’s so easy for the ruts to form and not even be aware of them. The other thing that troubles me is that always keeping an open mind, and not forming ruts is counter to “stand for something.” It’s hard to stand for something and still keep an open mind because decisions are always made with less than 100% of all existing knowledge – and often without even including 100% of available knowledge. Keeping an open mind means possessing the ability to change one’s mind as new facts or information become evident. Standing for something means that you do not change your mind about that thing. I actually like wishy-washy politicians because I see them as thinking, open-minded people who are capable of being mentally flexible. You’re supposed to get smarter as you age but I’m finding answers to be very illusive things.

The answer to a better society is using its rules and values.  Laws aren’t it!  We need to use intrinsic societal values. If we work to change values within society, the kinds of laws we need change as well.

One underutilized tool is “shunning.”  A great many societies sent undesirable members away by themselves, with or without tools and food.  Today, and it’s more a high society issue, people get removed from guest lists and that’s a punishment with huge social and financial implications.

The United States is a “melting pot.”  The up-side of a melting pot is more creativity.  The down-side is sinking to the lowest common denominator. Times are even more challenging because now we aren’t just citizens of the United States, we are citizens of the world. We’re drawing inspiration from everyone world-wide. We also sink to the lowest common denominator of an entire world filled with people and their societies. If people from one country can borrow themselves into the next century, someone on the other side of the world will hear about it and decide it’s a great idea that will work for them as well.

Nobody wants to clamp down on tax laws because everybody who cheats $100 on their taxes is afraid of getting caught.  What they don’t realize is that very strong enforcement would probably mean the tax rates could drop a couple of percent and they’d save $500. So, if we aren’t going to enforce a law rigorously, the moral and ethical fabric of those who abide by it starts to erode. Fewer and fewer people obey that laws and many who do resent doing it.

You can’t legislate thought and you can’t write enough text into a law to make people comply with the intent of the law rather than the letter. A better society for all of us hinges on changing societal standards. That requires making people want to comply with the intent – and in that case, you really don’t need a law. We could, in theory, run entire societies without a single “law.”

Stephen M. Covey wrote a tremendous book, “The Speed of Trust.” Once you read that book, and grasp an understanding of the enormous amount that lack of trust costs, it’s hard not to be motivated to the restoration of trustworthiness to society. It can be done – not easily because it requires the silent minority to get out of the middle of the lemming herd – but it can be done!

Personally, I’m wrong all the time – all the frigging time – because I learn – a ton – every single day I live.  It’s actually quite irritating to never be smart enough to get it right the first time.  The more I learn, the more I have to add to my thought process and the more my opinions and conclusions shift.

I much prefer people who “fail” and are “wrong.” It means they are trying, doing, and learning. I, too, wish politicians would stand up, square their shoulders, and choose to be “wrong.” We have to thank the press who cuts out, and broadcasts repeatedly, single sound bites, for the reluctance of our politicians to learn, grow, and even to compromise. In some ways the death of traditional news – the news that spends more time talking about a touchdown than the war in Afghanistan – and only seconds at that – just might make the world a much better place.

People will go bankrupt, or lose their possessions entirely, holding out for what they perceive the value to be. The monetary value of something is never a single penny more than what someone else will pay you for it. The buyer doesn’t care your grandmother gave it to you, or that you need more money for your child’s birthday. We assign additional value emotionally. We can attempt to transfer some of that emotion in a monetary transaction in an attempt to get a buyer to pay more. To the extent that works, you’re getting fair monetary value plus a DONATION received in response to your emotional appeal.

If the people who lost the possessions in their storage units had sold them to the pawn brokers instead, they would have been much farther ahead. They would have had “something,” and with “something,” you can make “more.” Nothing begets nothing. If they had given possessions away to family or friends, they would have been farther ahead. It’s hard not to let emotions cloud judgment but the ultimate cost of letting your judgement be clouded can be quite high. You stand to lose everything!

The one factor that matters the most is the ongoing cost of ownership. Everything you own costs you something. It creates an emotional load AND a financial load. Look around you. Everything you see has an ongoing cost of ownership. Every time you look at it, you will have an emotional cost. That emotional cost dictates how you feel about yourself and your place in the world at that moment. Posessions can make us feel happy, sad, blessed, or cursed. They make us feel strong or weak. The absence of things frees us while having a great number of possessions ties us down.

We tend to look at things we buy as “investments” and, in our minds, their value and importance grows. We think things have no cost once we’ve paid for them. That’s just not true. We don’t just house ourselves. We house our possessions. We take up very little space. It’s our possessions that require that fourth bedroom, a basement to “store” “things” in and a garage to store our car in. In fact, generally, while the monetary value of the item diminishes, the cost of ownership grows with property taxes, rent, housekeeping fees, always growing at least slightly with the cost of inflation. Start thinking about things in terms of their continued cost of ownership. Are there things you should get rid of because they just aren’t worth it?

It’s the emotional cost of ownership, however, not the monetary cost, that controls our lives. People keep things the same way they buy them – by emotion. The heart buys then the poor brain is tasked with making excuses and justifications. As you read this, you’re sitting in front of a screen of some kind. That’s the first object. It’s probably a helpful one that produces in excess of its cost. Look around you, however. Unless you’re on a bench out in the park, every single item your eye falls on has an emotional cost. Pay attention to the thoughts that run through your mind as your eye hits it. How does it make you feel? If it doesn’t make you feel happy, positive, and powerful, get rid of it.

There is so very much in this world that each of us just doesn’t know.  As time passes, I become more convinced that each of us possesses knowledge that equates, at best, to a single grain of Sahara sand. I kind of joke that the older I get, the dumber I get, because the field of knowledge growing the fastest is the one labeled “Things I Don’t Know.”  There simply is no collection of “all the knowledge in the world.”  Google has a great deal cataloged – perhaps one small dune’s worth.

Who, when, where, and how will the collection be completed? What will happen? Perhaps our race will ultimately “ascend” like Stargate’s Daniel Jackson or we’ll be omnipotent like Q. 

When humans get to the point where that has happened, it will mean that people have learned to cooperate rather than compete. That it seems, will imply that either male biology has evolved, or females rise to complete power. I draw those conclusions in part because I’ve been listening to “The Male Brain.” When you give great consideration to the implications of evolutionary requirements and compare them to future needs, strong and fascinating implications exist as to the future nature of humanity.

Please don’t take my word for it, though. Read the book, and its companion, “The Female Brain,” then draw your own conclusions.

This will give rise to a new layer of wealth for a few people as we begin to paying people to filter through the garbage for us – and, ultimately, we will be paying for books. The wealthiest pay large amounts of money for the best, newest, most worthwhile information and information age infrastructure. As you go down, the DIY movement picks up speed.  It bottoms out right above the welfare classes because if society provides for their needs, there is no need for them to create anything.

Our collective lives will be visiting the toilet for an extended period of time as we sort all this out because the price of “FREE” is far higher than anyone thinks and the negative ramifications will be reflected in a few far wealthier, tons far poorer, and a much smaller working middle class.  In every layer of life, the 80-20 rule can be seen. The shape of the curve, however, can, and is, changing.

None of us can stop “FREE” but if we want to survive the next couple of decades, we are going to have to band together to combine the best possible combinations of economy of scale and the power of small batches, among other things.  Extended family units working together, whether blood, or chosen, entire towns in rural areas, and my own personal favorite, meshes of micro business owners, are the only answer to turning this around.  So long as we remain a society of individuals, each pursuing or own self-interests, the vast majority of us are going down.

Perhaps the number of small business owners who might be affected are not so great after all. We can not continue to reward people for failing to better themselves, nor can we continue to award the investor class – both at the expense of the working middle class. This entire issue really does warrant concentrated, clear-headed thought and perhaps many of will change our points of view one way or the other. The reality may be that taxing the investor class collects money to support people at the bottom end of the spectrum who used to do the jobs that have been replaced by machines and technology. They will be supporting exactly the same number of people. It’s just that those people used to go to work every day, not they don’t.

It is interesting to note that I could use help in a couple of areas right now, with an end of year rush, a large web project in my web design company and audits in the accounting company.  Everyone capable of doing the work is flat out. Those who are available lack the required skills. It’s also interesting to note that while my education includes half of a Master’s at an Ivy League school, I am self-taught in every single thing I currently do to make money. I mean that I have not taken even one formal course to learn how to do any of the things I do to make money.  I probably have the equivalent of several PhDs worth of knowledge thanks to the nearly 1,000 business books that I’ve read in my adult life.

I played with a Tandy when they first came out.  I learned accounting by backward engineering the work of a CPA.  Then I read books, explored, and practiced, until I became one of the best forensic accounts around. I learned about websites in 1991 and designed my first site using PageMaker.  I examined the source code, was totally fascinated, and bought a book on html.  Tonight I downloaded eight books on various aspects of web design.  It would have been more cost efficient to take courses but there are no courses in this part of CT.  When I proposed to the Plainfield Chamber of Commerce that we use email for communication one very prominent member of the community and local business owner loudly proclaimed me to be foolish and email a fad.

Forgive me if I am not sympathetic to whining about not having a job because you don’t have the required education.  If the investor class can’t behave ethically, the answer, clearly, is to tax away ill-gotten gains.  The new economy requires that everyone give more and try harder.  It’s the middle class’ turn and both ends need to clean up their acts.

Rant by MSNBC Reporter

Saying something louder and with more feeling doesn’t make it right.  It does make it worth looking into, getting facts, and forming our own opinions.  ”I” think the problem with America is too many people following “party lines” without doing any independent research or putting the time and effort into creating any independent thought.

Money in politics buys stupidity – the dumbing down of the American voter.  That’s what the money buys.  Guns aren’t the problem – it’s what people do with them.  Money isn’t the problem – it’s what people are willing to sell in exchange that’s the problem.  In the case of politics, we sell our futures when we let them buy our brains.  We let them buy our brains when we listen to their rhetoric with preconceived notions and preformed opinions.  I buy Tide because periodically I buy other brands.  They don’t work so I come back to Tide.  We listen to the twisted half-truths the political party we lean toward tells about their opponents.  We don’t demand that politicians tell us honestly both sides of the story.  We don’t require them to do a study of unintended consequences.

When people stick “Vote Democrat” or “Vote Republican” signs in their lawns they’ve been bought and paid for.  The old political system isn’t working.  So long as people buy into the labels without examining the content, we, as a country, are screwed.  It’s a whole lot of work and it takes a whole lot of time.  Our best defense is probably to do a better job of supporting fact finding organizations that dedicate manpower to finding truth and facts – impartially – so we can each interpret those facts in ways that allow us to vote for what we think will make our own lives better.  When we “buy” Democrat or Republican, we’re buying one thing we like and supporting a hundred we don’t because we voted for that one thing that was just a bit more important than the others.  I’m not sure exactly how to get around that but I think having a better understanding about the contents of the bottom 90% of the barrel is a start.

What I’m realizing is that governments and publicly traded corporations have a lot in common.  Nobody owns either one.  People move – even into other countries. Don’t like the taxes, roads, schools, move.  Corporations – don’t like the profit, the way the company handles environmental concerns, what they make – sell the stock.

Governments are run by people who get elected – come and go – depending upon what “the voters” decide.  Corporations – Board members come and go as voters decide.  The little people in government and the little people in corporations are the ones who create the real value – but no one creates much – it’s all collective – and the pieces come and go.

Corporate governance and political leaders are both guided by short term interests since all interests in life are self-interest and theirs is in getting re-elected until a better job comes along.  (Phoebe from Friends did a very cool analysis of this although I’m sure in those philosophy books I haven’t had a chance to read yet I’ll find far more and more sophisticated.  Phoebe got the job done though.)  Add to that the concept that people rise in life to the first job they can’t do right.  They get promoted out of all the others.

Personally, my choice would be to hire Asperger’s people to write computer programs to run the country – and no, I’m not kidding.  I’ve given it a fair amount of thought.  You still need human intelligence infused into the process but we need to start analyzing the population and doing what’s best for the country – not using tax code to shape the gene pool on both ends while balancing the entire burden on the back of the working middle class.

Above all, we have to re-establish ethics, truth, and morality in society.  Being permissive and understanding is fun, and all, but this is the mess you get.  Big banks don’t get prosecuted because what they do is not illegal – just highly unethical.  The people who run their businesses under the table, cheat on their taxes, steal your sales taxes then never pay them over to the government, lie on their mortgage applications, misuse support funds, and lie, cheat, and steal in a hundred other ways, do break the laws but they don’t get prosecuted either.

When people break laws but don’t get prosecuted, it breaks down the morals and ethics of society.  When morals and ethics of society break down, you end up with Enron, and the banking crisis.  The “big guys” are smart enough to cheat on the legal side of the law.  The “little guys” don’t bother learning or trying to cheat on the legal side – they just flat out break the law.  Either way, society degrades.  You can’t create laws that control everything and still have a free society.  Therefore, the core of what keeps a society whole and well-functioning is it’s moral and ethical fiber.  You don’t have to be a card-carrying member of any particular religious faith to understand that “do unto your neighbor as you would have them do unto you” are words we should all be living by – and if we were, none of this crap would be an issue.

How often we all do that to all kinds of things in our life? A great many things that look just fine at the distance from which they are supposed to be viewed break down when we get up close and magnify them. It forces us to concentrate on minutia that should have been overlooked. It’s taken time that could have been better used for something else. Finally, it causes us to have feelings we should never have, and to make decisions we never should make.

There are things in everyone’s life that they dwell on, that they examine and magnify out of all sensible proportion – then live in pain or make life-altering decisions.

Some things must be examined in minute detail. Most, however, have a natural viewing distance and that is the distance from which they should be viewed. It seems the old admonishment about “keep things in perspective” has a great deal of value after all. We’re always so afraid that we’re going to be hurt that we feel the need to magnify flaws to examine them more closely. In fact, nothing could be more harmful.

One of my favorite thoughts is “if you don’t like the view, change your point of view.” If you just step back a step or two, you can see that the imperfections are just tiny portions of a pretty wonderful whole.