ByChanceBuddhism

My Grandmother

noreply@blogger.com (Renata) — Wed, 22 Apr 2020 02:22:00 +0000

I know that, during the course of these gratitude posts, I have mentioned my maternal grandmother and the great impact she had on my life. April 21st marks the date of her birth, and today she would have been 107. Amazingly, she was still with us six years ago. Although her health took a steep decline in her last year of life, we all had the joyous privilege of celebrating her 100th birthday with her.

As with many of these posts there is no way I can truly express all the love, the smiles, the memories, and yes, the gratitude I feel towards Grandma in just a couple of paragraphs. But I would like to just say a few words to honor the woman she was.

Before sharing my 'list' of thank you's for the precious memories and moments, I would also like to remark how in some ways Grandma was a woman ahead of her time. Her enthusiasm for meeting and embracing people from different cultures resulted in many heartwarming stories, and ultimately a family and network of friends spanning the globe. I see this influence in my own family as I rustle around, sari-clad for an Indian festival, and as I look into my daughter's dark, laughing eyes (oh, how Grandma would have loved her! ).

Thank you Grandma, for . . .
tasking me with planting all those impatiens around the front of your house. It showed me how a day of hard work can yield beauty for a whole season.
laughing at my silly jokes and numerous voice impressions.
a pantry full of fruit roll-ups and other goodies for hungry kids on our way home from school.
talking to me for hours.
not holding too much of a grudge after 3-year-old me pulled your hair while traveling around Europe in a VW bus.
yanking that plastic bag off my (also 3-year-old) head, even though I cried.
playing 'Mr. Rogers' with me, where we would arduously climb to the top of your stairs and just sit and talk about Mr. Rogers, the king, the tiger, and especially the trolley. (I realize now that you probably had other things to do! 😀)
telling me about your family; all those stories, whether happy, sad, strange, or funny.
sending me letters, even when I was in graduate school, when I know writing must have been difficult.
your delicious pies and baked beans.
that beautiful pewter pin you gave me with the butterflies on it.
teaching me that it doesn't matter how old you are, you can still be interested and engaged in political knowledge and current affairs.
your love of foxes.
Saturday morning breakfast, enough said.
your beautiful gardens.
your devotion and love for family.
all those beautiful cards you sent, for almost every occasion I can think of.
coming to my wedding. My dear brother and his lovely wife are the people who made that possible, and despite your difficulties, you made it there. I will never forget the whole family surrounding you as we danced to 'Chaiya, Chaiya' - and you smiling 😊🙏 🙌
for making a point of telling me about your joy at my imminent arrival into this world; that story warms my heart and has always made me feel so very loved.

Happy Birthday, Grandma- I love you and think of you often as I feel your presence in my life.

*****
This post is part of the Gratitude Practice and post series I began in 2018.

May all beings be happy!

A choice to make

noreply@blogger.com (Renata) — Sun, 12 Apr 2020 20:51:00 +0000

It has again been a long time since I have written a new post. Again, a lot of things have happened, as might be expected. But with the current COVID-19 crisis and the turmoil and pain it has created for so many people, right now my any offering of gratitude I have in my own life could seem very trite, as if I am oblivious to what is happening in the world today.

This sentiment is magnified 100 fold as my own family also deals with crushing loss. Following the passing of someone very dear to us, we are still reeling. How can I continue to write about the chirping birds, spring flowers and 'the good things in life', when the hearts of my loved ones (and my own) are breaking?

I guess what I am trying to say is, I have a decision to make. Although I have been absent for most of last year, I love writing here at BCB. I have not always shared my thoughts and dreams lately, but it is here that my heart and mind often wander.

The question is though, what exactly should I do now? When I first started this blog in 2010, I wanted it to add value to other people's lives by opening their eyes to Buddhism from an 'outsider's' perspective. After an emotionally tumultuous beginning to parenthood, I began a written gratitude practice in 2018. This added value to my life and changed my perspective in a major way. I would also like to think that it has added value to the lives of others as they deal with their own problems and frustrations.

Right now, at the precipice of this choice, I have several options. From the least to the most drastic: I can stay the course with my current gratitude practice, revert more directly to the original purpose of BCB, change course in terms of topic and scope of this blog, or let go of it entirely.

Right now I really am completely unsure about what to do. I know that I do not need to make my decision right now, but if my ever-helpful (and ever-forgiving) readers could offer any advice, now would be the time. _/\_

*****
May all beings be happy!

Where have I been?!

noreply@blogger.com (Renata) — Sun, 20 Oct 2019 13:04:00 +0000

Well, I have pretty much stayed put, but certainly not been writing here at BCB. It was an incredibly busy summer. But I am ready to get back to it!

In addition to finding a great part-time teaching job (grateful), there was a lot to keep me occupied. My husband had some significant health issues around the same time a close relative came to stay with us for a few weeks. Fortunately my husband is much better now (grateful, and knock on wood) and things have calmed down a little (grateful!).

Another major development I also wanted to share was a serious uptick in my decluttering journey. Over the summer I participated in a 12-week online course called 'Uncluttered', developed by Joshua Becker of 'Becoming Minimalist' and others. Although I consider myself organized, our home is small at around 1100 square feet, with little storage. This, combined with a significant amount of clutter, was a constant source of stress and frustration.

I am not exaggerating when I say that being part of 'Uncluttered' was/is life changing.

I am also not exaggerating that on top of teaching and being a mom, the course was a LOT of work, and really felt like a 3rd job/responsibility. But, if it could be considered another 'job,' it is one that comes with a big fat bonus of a more spacious and peaceful home. In all, over 20 boxes and 8 bags of 'stuff' have left our space through donation to local charities. Although I am still working on it (the course gives you lifetime membership), our space is now much more pleasant and easy to clean- and I am much calmer. Looking forward to sharing more about this journey with you!

*****

This post a continuation of the gratitude practice I have been working on since the beginning of 2018. Curious? You can read all about it at ByChanceBuddhism!

*****
May all beings be happy!

Spring peepers

noreply@blogger.com (Renata) — Mon, 18 Mar 2019 18:31:00 +0000

The other night I was walking to my car at a local shopping center, and heard a wonderful sound. Somehow piercing the din of the ever-expanding sub/urban sprawl, my ears were graced by the sound of spring peepers. Known by the scientific name Pseudacris crucifer (subspecies, crucifer) these little frogs are one of the first signs of spring in the eastern US and Canada. And after a long winter (both for us AND for them!) their peeping call from both permanent and ephemeral spring ponds is a welcome sound indeed.

Their sound also has special significance for me. As our grandfather's health declined, my brother recorded the sound of peepers in a nearby pond so that he, though bedridden, could also enjoy their call. My brother sat by his bedside and they listened to the recording together, bringing Grandpa some feelings of peace in the last days of his life. That act of love has always held a special place in my heart and further deepened my respect for my brother.

So every spring when I hear the peepers, I am reminded not only of the joyous onset of spring, but of an true act of compassion by one of the greatest men in my life. And having loved ones with character like that is truly something to be very grateful for.

Image: Okay, so maybe not an actual
spring peeper, but still quite lovable 😊

*****

This post is part of the gratitude practice I have been working on since the beginning of 2018. Curious? You can read all about it at ByChanceBuddhism!

*****

May all beings be happy!

Waaaay behind- and grateful for it!

noreply@blogger.com (Renata) — Fri, 08 Mar 2019 11:30:00 +0000

When I compare recent BCB posts to those from a year ago, the similarities are clear. I am still focusing on gratitude, and celebrating the wonderful people, places, events, and things in my life. But now there is also a difference. Compared to last year's abundant posts celebrating the mundane, the profound, and everything in between, my current posts are somewhat less frequent.

Cue my own mixed feelings on the issue. On one hand I feel a bit of panic that I am not sharing EVERYTHING I am grateful for RIGHT NOW, on the other I am cool with it. So, I think that I am going to err on the side of the 'other hand', because, well, sanity (remember, I am currently escaping the 'pitfalls of perfection'), and also because it is the truth. Sharing my own moments and sentiments of gratitude has become more than I ever could have imagined: in addition to being more in tune with the many, many sources of gratitude in my life, I have also established this feeling of connectedness.

Like a kindred spirit, I know that you are there to listen to- and to share! - everything WE have to be thankful for, and that feeling is relayed whether I write here or not. In other words, I am very happy to share my gratitude, but I also know that this practice will evolve, and take on different forms, in both my writing and the practice itself. And that is something I am starting to feel really excited about.

So although feeling so waaaaay behind would definitely phase me in any other area of my life, that is not the case here, because it shows me how very much there is to be grateful for! 💖

Image: Gratitude, past and present, builds on itself

*****

This post is part of the gratitude practice I have been working on since the beginning of 2018. Curious? You can read all about it at ByChanceBuddhism!

*****

May all beings be happy!

A creative outlet

noreply@blogger.com (Renata) — Thu, 07 Mar 2019 16:31:00 +0000

A few months back I purchased a plain straw wreath and decorated it with (discounted!) fall bouquet items from JoAnn Fabrics. I also found a cool wreath kit there called 'Blooming Autumn', but the bright pink and green hues didn't really look much like autumn to me. It was then I realized I could use the same wreath for spring by removing the fall decorations and adorning it with the little doodads from the kit. So, naturally, a purchase was made!

Although I love putting up wreaths and other seasonal decorations, we don't really have unlimited space for every season and holiday, so versatility is important. After the autumn finally gave way to winter, I packed the straw wreath away to hibernate for a while.

After several months, I decided that it was time to give that straw wreath new life (wreath-incarnation?! 😄). Never mind the fact that spring is probably still several snow squalls and 'cold blasts' away, but now I WILL be prepared with a spring-inspired wreath !

So here's to a fun hour spent with a long-awaited project to celebrate an even longer-awaited season. Working on this wreath was a great creative outlet, and something I am grateful for!

Before: Straw wreath and kit (purchased separately).

After: Finished wreath to celebrate the arrival
of spring (whenever that is! 😄).

*****

This post is part of the gratitude practice I have been working on since the beginning of 2018. Curious? You can read all about it at ByChanceBuddhism!

*****

May all beings be happy!

Great-ful customer service!

noreply@blogger.com (Renata) — Fri, 01 Mar 2019 21:44:00 +0000

About a week ago I was excited to FINALLY receive some items I had ordered online (I do think that the retailer's go-to mode of shipping is literally the 'slow boat from China' 😅). The package contained some fun stuff, including bookends for my daughter's room and some very fancy 'home socks' with narwhals on them. The last item was a beautiful jade/forest green shirt, which, after having gotten lost between UPS and USPS last time I ordered it (don't worry, my money was refunded), I was also very happy to receive. However, when I took the shirt out of its packaging I found that it REEKED of cigarette smoke.

In addition to being a little grossed out, I wondered, if the shirt was not a return, how someone could be allowed to smoke in a facility where they package these things?! I couldn't help thinking about a warehouse filled with workers and (likely flammable) clothes and people carelessly milling about with lit cigarettes in their hands. (Aside from that thought: I should petition to be Smokey the Bear's sidekick if this whole teaching gig doesn't work out).

Anyway, after being busy with other things for a few days, I finally got around to calling the company. The person who answered my call was SO understanding, and actually REFUNDED my money! I was so surprised, because my main purpose for calling was really to let them know about a possible QC and/or safety issue, not to get my money back for an item that was otherwise perfectly fine. But of course, I certainly won't complain, and am grateful for the unexpected refund.

So, to that kind associate working long days on the phone in customer service (wherever you are!), I thank you! 😄

Image: It looks a little lighter here, but this is the shirt I received.
I can't wait to wear it outside the house!

*****

This post is part of the gratitude practice I have been working on since the beginning of 2018. Curious? You can read all about it at ByChanceBuddhism!

*****

May all beings be happy!

Fuzzy fuzzy, cute cute

noreply@blogger.com (Renata) — Fri, 08 Feb 2019 21:12:00 +0000

With a title reminiscent of a 'blast from the past' viral internet video, I will just mention that this has been back-posted to February since this little bit of gratitude is well-overdue!

Towards the beginning of last month, we received a mysterious package (in a good way, not an 'unidentified white powder' way!) in the mail. Lo and behold, it contained some very cute, soft and fuzzy clothing for our daughter that my sister was kind enough to send our way. Our Lotus Blossom has so much fun opening the envelope, seeing the cute card and holding up the clothes to her person, like the little fashionista she (already!) is.

So a lot to be grateful for, including cute and fuzzy (and warm, and soft!) clothes and a sweet, thoughtful sister!

Image: Cuddly duds for our little snuggler!

*****
This post is part of the gratitude practice I have been working on since the beginning of 2018. Curious? You can read all about it at ByChanceBuddhism!

*****

May all beings be happy!

The pitfalls of "perfection"

noreply@blogger.com (Renata) — Sun, 27 Jan 2019 16:35:00 +0000

As I sit to write each BCB post, I know that the flow of words from my mind and into the keyboard are heavily influenced by something that nags me in other areas of my life. What is it, you ask?

Perfection.

Or, because I am aware that perfection does not actually exist, the pursuit of. Although I said at the beginning of this gratitude practice that I wouldn't get hung up writing the 'perfect post' for important people and events in my life, I admit, I totally have.

And really, I should not be the least bit surprised. This is because despite my relatively newfound ability to let a lot of things go, I still put ample pressure on myself to be/do/have the best. I acknowledge that this form of pressure is a double-edged sword; in some instances it has propelled me towards perseverance and success, in others it has paralyzed me with doubt and fear of failure.

In terms of my writing, for most of my life people have told me that I have a knack for it. That is, until the end of graduate school. After a harrowing experience trying to write, finish, and submit my dissertation, the words of one of my committee members rings in my ears while composing anything science-related. She said, "Scientific writing is precise writing. You need to learn how to be more precise with your words."

Although I don't quite think my scientific writing resembled random prose drafted in a drunken fog, the advice was appropriate- and she was right about the importance of precision. It has been of great help professionally, as I communicated with students and authored laboratory exercises and manuals. Consequently, I believe that advice has also filtered into my BCB posts, especially those focused on gratitude.

I attribute that need for precision to the personal desire of conveying my gratitude for loved ones and the many things they have done to bring so much joy to my life. But in my efforts I do feel a little bit at a loss. Writing meaningful posts that accurately portray the merits of a person dear to me are taken so seriously that sometimes I get stuck. Yes, the feelings are there and the thoughts flow naturally, but it takes many tweaks and coming back to the post again and again before I finally hit 'publish'. Although it is good to take pride in my own writing, sometimes it's just like, 'Why can't I just communicate without second-guessing myself?!'

I know in my heart it is because I want to honor the people I care about, and it is not my nature to just crank out posts as part of some spiritual to-do list. That is not what this is about. But in the midst of my quest to infuse truth, clarity, emotion, and brevity in my writing, I do sometimes get impatient with myself. I often feel that the drive of writing the 'perfect post' is holding me back, that I need to find a kind of writing 'Middle Way'. I don't have an answer, but perhaps you do. And you know that any good advice is something I would definitely be grateful for. 😊

Caption: Beauty has its flaws, as flaws themselves can accentuate beauty.

*****

This post is part of the gratitude practice I am working on. Curious? You can read all about it at ByChanceBuddhism!

*****

May all beings be happy!

Empty dishwasher, thankful heart

noreply@blogger.com (Renata) — Sat, 26 Jan 2019 03:46:00 +0000

Okay so hate is a strong word, but for anyone who knows anything about my daily routine, I absolutely loathe unloading the dishwasher. It is not so much the task itself, but the fact that it is just one of those household chores that wreaks havoc if not promptly attended to. In our tiny kitchen, any delay in unloading the dishwasher seems to quickly bring about cataclysmic disorder that results in a sink, table, and counters littered with dirty dishes and other miscellaneous items. Ugh! At the risk of sounding dramatic, that is just too much pressure to deal with at the beginning of another busy day! 😜

Today I got up extra early so that I could take a walk and run some errands before attending a morning yoga class. Since my clothes, mat, etc. were ready the night before, my outing was not too hectic, but I knew that I would have a substantial pile of work waiting for me when I returned home. After thanking my husband for feeding our little one breakfast and getting her ready for the day, I kissed him goodbye and turned to the tasks at hand. Ready to just get it out of the way, I opened the dishwasher to begin the dreaded clearing.

Lo and behold, it was EMPTY! My husband had kindly taken the time to unload it, and it was absolutely ridiculous how happy it made me. Due to our current schedule this may now just happen occasionally, it reminds me of when my dear mother-in-law cleared the dishwasher almost every single day of my in-laws' visit, and how much I appreciated that.

Although it might seem silly to gush about an unloaded dishwasher, I think the bigger lesson is how the helping hands of our loved ones can lighten our workload and lift our spirits. And that is indeed a wonderful thing to be grateful for 💗

Caption: The joys of an empty dishwasher in the morning- Yay! 😀

*****

This post is part of the gratitude practice I am developing. Curious? You can read all about it at ByChanceBuddhism!

*****

May all beings be happy!

Stories of love

noreply@blogger.com (Renata) — Fri, 18 Jan 2019 03:04:00 +0000

After returning from my parents' house following the Christmas holiday, we soon suspected that we had left one of our daughter's favorite bedtime stories, 'The Poky Little Puppy's Wonderful Winter Day' behind. Fortunately she wasn't too upset about it (something else to be grateful for!), but I still gave my mom a call to see what happened to it. A woman on a mission, she soon found it, and before I knew it, an envelope arrived in our mailbox. It contained not only the book in question, but a kind note from 'Oma' and some fun stickers.

Although this alone was a wonderful and kind surprise, there's more to it. This book is special to me not only because my daughter loves it, but because it was also one of my favorite books. I loved how the Poky Little Puppy had so much fun in the snow, how his snow angel looked like 'a fat little sausage', and how he was too tired to finish his strawberry shortcake after all his adventures. I still love these things, and it seems my daughter does too. But most of all I love how my mother's voice rings in my ears as I read the last line of the story, "Mother tucked them all in . . . one, two, three, four, five little puppies, all happily dreaming of their wonderful winter day."

The same is true for the oh-so-many stories my mother read to me at countless bedtimes, over and over again. Of all of the moments of my childhood, I count those as some of the most precious, as they all meld together as one beautiful expression of kindness and love. Now time has passed and I am the one reading 'The Poky Little Puppy' (and many others) to my own daughter, and so it is for these memories I am so very grateful.

Caption: Don't worry Mama, it didn't get lost in the mail!😊

*****

This post is part of the daily gratitude practice I am currently developing. Curious? You can read all about it at ByChanceBuddhism!

*****

May all beings be happy!

Our 'first' date

noreply@blogger.com (Renata) — Wed, 16 Jan 2019 21:29:00 +0000

While at my parents' house for the Christmas holiday, my husband and I did something totally outrageous . . . we had our first date since BEFORE our daughter was born over two years ago! I know, way overdue, but ours is the same story as so many other couples with small children; there aren't many people around us who we feel comfortable asking to watch our daughter, so the opportunity for a 'date night' is pretty slim.

Although our toddler usually sleeps through the night, she goes to bed a bit later than other children her age, making an actual date 'night' more difficult. So, I decided to get a little creative. I asked myself, why does it have to be a date 'night'? Why couldn't we go do something during the day, like lunch and a nice walk together? So I asked my mom and my sister if they wouldn't mind humoring us and watching our little Lotus Blossom while we went for lunch at a favorite local restaurant. To my utmost relief, they said yes, and assured me that everything would go without a hitch.

With our daughter in the care of our own family experts, my husband and I had a wonderful, peaceful lunch, complete with Prosecco and a delicious crème brûlée. What's more, we were served by our favorite waitress in the world, who happens to be my niece 😀. Between our non-kid related conversations (my husband knew instinctively!), we were able to enjoy chatting and joking with her throughout the meal. Needless to say, the service was impeccable, and we had a nice, leisurely meal that I know I will remember for a long time.

I did not ask my husband directly whether he had been looking forward to our date, but I know that I certainly was. When I say that our daughter is usually very sweet, fun, and well-behaved, I mean it. But even parents who are generally proud of their child's behavior need not only a break, but a chance to reconnect as couple. So, it is for this experience and everyone who made it possible, I am truly grateful.

Image: Romance in the air! :)

*****

This post is part of the daily gratitude practice I am working to develop. Curious? You can read all about it at ByChanceBuddhism!

*****

May all beings be happy!

What 'sucks' right now

noreply@blogger.com (Renata) — Wed, 09 Jan 2019 22:18:00 +0000

After a full year of 'counting my blessings' and slowly working towards developing a viable gratitude practice, I pause. When it comes to how I approach obstacles and daily life in general, I compare the attitude I have now to over a year ago and am truly amazed. Despite being so tired, frustrated, discouraged, and completely unsure of what to do about it, that initial intuition to turn towards gratitude in the face of adversity has changed my life.

But I think it is also important to discuss how it hasn't. As I have mentioned before, practicing gratitude cannot directly obliterate one's problems, and it sure as hell doesn't make the feelings about those problems go away. To illustrate that my life is in fact not perfect, I thought I would go out on a limb and quickly list what is not so great right now.

Here are some things I struggle with on a daily basis:
My body image. I long to feel comfortable in my own skin (or even my own clothes!), and more like the woman I used to be.
After losing almost all the 'baby weight' I fell off the wagon and gained back more than ten pounds. Getting back to my former shape has been so incredibly hard, and I am so angry at myself for relapsing.
Wishing we could live in a spacious house with a yard, instead of a small apartment in (what I call) 'suburban hell'.
Feeling overwhelmed by clearing, organizing, or otherwise trying to manage clutter.
After almost a year and a half of applications and interviews, I am still unemployed.
Fearing that I will never teach again.
The fact that my dissertation work remains unpublished hangs over my head as a personal failure.
After having a child, saving money has basically come to a standstill.
After caring for a toddler all day, I have very little patience left, either for my husband or myself.
I don't see most of my friends anymore, and feel very isolated.
When I actually do spend time with others, I feel as though no one cares about how I am doing or what I have to say.
I hate that there is so much traffic where we live.
I wish I had more time to myself, and more time with my husband for us to reconnect as a couple.
I wish I could get more sleep (or, more correctly, that my daughter would sleep better!).
*****

So there it is, 'what sucks right now', for better or for worse. But the point is not for me to wallow in it, or for you to feel sorry for me. In fact, I would actually really hate it if you did that, because I know that you have your own problems to deal with!

When I read through the list of problems, I notice that most of them have not changed much. So it makes sense to ask, if the problems are still there, then what is the point of practicing gratitude? Well, first of all, using gratitude as a 'magic eraser' was never my motivation to begin with. When first embracing gratitude, I knew that I needed another way to view my own life, because the lens of resentment and pessimism certainly wasn't working. I also realized that I was letting my negative feelings and emotions obscure some of the best things in life, and wanted to change that.

Fast forward to now, gratitude has clearly brought about that change in my life, even if it is a slow, day by day process. Whenever I take a moment to acknowledge all that is good in this life, the importance of any problem automatically fades. I also realize that they do not define me. Practicing gratitude has helped me take a big step back from my personal problems and view them more logically, even critically, and with less drama. This in turn has led to obstacles seeming much less formidable (note, I didn't say 'easier') to confront, and ultimately overcome. Most importantly though, gratitude has allowed me to let go and just celebrate the wonderful things, experiences, and people in my life, which was one of my major motivations to begin this journey.

So, in closing, I just want to emphasize that it's okay to have problems, frustrations, and negative emotions. It is simply part of being human. But giving them free reign to take over your life, to slowly rob you of your happiness does not have to be. Practicing gratitude can help us shift our focus away from ruminating about everything we dislike or cannot control, and towards truly illuminating and rejoicing in all that we love. This has been my experience, and what I would also hope for anyone practicing or just embarking upon inviting gratitude in their own life.

Image: Illuminating gratitude.

*****

This post is part of the daily gratitude practice I am working to develop. You can read all about it at ByChanceBuddhism!

*****

May all beings be happy!

Just scratching the surface

noreply@blogger.com (Renata) — Sun, 06 Jan 2019 04:02:00 +0000

As I arrive at the one-year anniversary of when I started this gratitude practice, I am aware that it is still clearly in its early stages. Despite my efforts, I have yet to develop a consistent gratitude ritual/meditation that serves as a reminder when I am not writing here at BCB. Over the past year, I have not carried out some of the 'acts of gratitude' for people who have stood out in their love and support for me and everything I hold dear in life. Finally, there are still so many people whom I wish to thank, but I have not yet written the posts acknowledging their kindnesses.

But nevertheless, things have progressed. A year ago my mind and attitude were in such a stark place; sinking ever downwards. I knew that I was not where I wanted to be, but hadn't quite devised a plan that could successfully ease my own suffering; let alone confer benefits beyond myself.

Enter gratitude. At the time I thought that with all the mental baggage I was sorting through, finding things to be grateful for and expressing that gratitude in a genuine way would be so difficult. Only it wasn't. Instead, I soon felt gratitude flow into my heart as I was going about my daily tasks and interactions with the people I love. The time was right and I was ready for all gratitude had to offer.

Although gratitude does not automatically erase all mistakes and bad feelings, it quickly became a refuge that shielded me from the fallout caused by negative emotions and events. Rather than being a place of denial and aversion, gratitude steered me towards a place of truth where I acknowledged the ups and downs of reality, but also rejoiced in what was good.

So here I am, a little over a year later, and, in terms of expressing gratitude, I have but only scratched the surface. But when I really step back to think about it, did I ever really believe that I would be 'done' with this practice, that I could actually say 'that's enough'? I don't think so.

But I do think that now it is clear that I must continue onwards, expanding and deepening this sacred practice that I am so grateful for, in and of itself.

*****

This post is part of the daily gratitude practice I am working to develop. You can read all about it at ByChanceBuddhism!

*****

May all beings be happy!

Loving the LUSH

noreply@blogger.com (Renata) — Mon, 31 Dec 2018 12:00:00 +0000

Okay, so that title may be a little clickbait-y, but I couldn't resist! One thing I have been wanting to write about for a while now is my journey into reducing the packaging used and garbage generated by me as a consumer. And yes, I certainly do have a lot to learn about living waste/package free, so this post is certainly not to sing my own praises. I know that there is a lot of room for improvement, but still, it can't hurt to embrace the 'beginner mind'. 😊

One of the things that has both bothered and intrigued me is the business of recycling. Certainly a complex process, I recently learned that huge lots of waste destined for recycling often sits a long time before someone purchases and actually recycles it. Also, sadly, many of the things we place in the recycling bin never even make it to those vast lots, rather, they just end up in the landfill with everything else. But despite the challenges, there is room for hope; and some alternate strategies. One of these is simply to consume less, or, for necessary items, opt for products that include little to no packaging.

Enter LUSH, a company that specializes not only in fair trade, cruelty-free skincare and toiletries, but also package free/recyclable products. After reading and hearing about this company for some time, I decided to check them out at my local mall.

In short, it was a great experience. Specifically, I really appreciated the:

Personal attention I received from the sales associate.
Fact that my questions were answered with minimal BS.
Many choices of quality products (which I did not expect)
Opportunities to contribute to charities through purchases.

After I said I wanted to try the solid (package-free) shampoo, conditioner, and deodorant, the sales associate (who was absolutely lovely, btw) cut off a reasonably-sized piece from a bar of each. When I asked if the price for the sample was by weight, she kindly told me that they were all mine, free of charge! I am certain that anyone who has dealt with this company before already knows this, but I did not. I just wanted to say how impressed I was with their generosity- and confidence that people will benefit from and therefore buy their products in the future!

Although I do not usually include commercial products in my gratitude posts, I really would like to express my gratitude for LUSH's efforts to make a positive impact on our world. Oh, and as I am sure you want to know- I really love everything I have tried so far! Disclaimer: I did not receive any compensation for writing this post, either through product discounts or monetary rewards. I really do love this stuff- and will definitely purchase more!

LUSH: Packaging (if used/needed) can be beautiful AND completely recyclable.

LUSH: My first three choices, in sample form.

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This post is part of the daily gratitude practice I am working to develop during 2018. You can read all about it at ByChanceBuddhism!

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May all beings be happy!

An opportunity

noreply@blogger.com (Renata) — Sun, 30 Dec 2018 22:14:00 +0000

Right before Thanksgiving, I was called for an onsite job interview for a faculty teaching position. Although extremely excited about the opportunity, I must admit to feeling some anxiety. In addition to the typical job interview jitters, I was going to be away from my daughter for more than 12 hours for the first time since she was born. I was a little nervous for my husband, who would be taking off work to care for her the whole time I was gone. I was also scheduled to give two formal talks in two days, and had a packed schedule that included meetings with college faculty and administrators just about every half hour.

Was it stressful? Most definitely. But, once I arrived and it was clear that my daughter and husband were a-okay, it was a really good type of stress. I was in my element, and had the tremendous opportunity to speak with some really great educators from a variety of academic fields.

The students seemed engaged by my teaching talk, and I later had a great conversation with a few of them as I hustled from one meeting to another. Although the onset of the frigid winter season was upon us, I also enjoyed the historic campus tour, accentuated with statues of great Americans like George Washington and Frederick Douglass.

Overall, I do think the interview went well, and I felt especially comfortable and 'at home' with other educators at the college; also the local people I met during my stay. However, the position I applied for is competitive, and so I am fully aware that despite being a top candidate, I may not have been the top candidate. But whether we are faced with disappointment or success, my wise mother always said that things way of working out for the best. I will do my best to follow her intuition and advice. 😊

So, here's to a rare, unique, and amazing learning opportunity that I will remember for the rest of my life, and of course, am very grateful for.

Caption: View of one of the campus buildings where I interviewed.

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This post is part of the daily gratitude practice I am working to develop during 2018. You can read all about it at ByChanceBuddhism!

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May all beings be happy!

The end of the milky way

noreply@blogger.com (Renata) — Thu, 29 Nov 2018 02:24:00 +0000

A while ago my daughter and I reached the conclusion of our breastfeeding journey. Although I am content with the reality that this represents the natural progression of her growth and development, letting go was certainly bittersweet. Looking back, I am happy to now have a little more freedom in my daily routine, yet miss the quiet moments of closeness as I put her to bed each night.

Of course, I will be the first to admit that this journey did not start out all unicorns and rainbows. As someone who has earned a Ph.D. and also tackled some other major challenges, I would have never imagined that learning to successfully breastfeed a newborn was one of the most difficult things I had ever done. Even with no issues with tongue ties, illness, or milk supply, the beginning was excruciating, simply because my body was in so. much. pain.

After bringing our daughter home, I sat in the glider chair with her cradled in my arms, crying tears of physical and emotional exhaustion. With the knowledge that my poor husband had in the middle of the night ventured out to the only 24 hour pharmacy for emergency infant formula, the fear and shame of failure hung heavy around me.

In that moment, little Lotus Blossom started at my sobs, looking intently for the source of the sound. Our eyes met. She looked at me so deeply that I could not believe she was just barely three days old. It was then I knew we could do this. With renewed determination, I found a way to temporarily work through the pain and make us both as comfortable as possible. Most importantly, I also silently resolved to get help. Given the state in which he had left us, my husband came home and was surprised- and probably very relieved- to see things had improved a little.

From that time forward, there were still many, many difficult moments and days. At eight weeks I was ready to quit, especially with the knowledge that breastfeeding was recommended for baby's first year- it just seemed so impossibly far away. But it did get better, and with time, patience, and help from a great lactation consultant, breastfeeding became easier, and yes, even peaceful and fulfilling.

After we put our very sleepy and well-fed little Lotus Blossom to bed without her bedtime milk feeding, my husband and I were nervous. Ready for any sounds of protest coming from upstairs, we sat at the kitchen table together. I told him how grateful I was for his constant support and confidence. I was also so very grateful not only that I persisted, but also for our daughter's resilience and ability to adjust. It was my job to observe her to see what she needed and gently guide her there, but only she could take the next step, and she did so with flying colors.

We are now on the other side of that 'milky way' and, although it was difficult at times, I know that this journey has changed me for the better. I also know that the way we did things was not the only way there is, but I am grateful for our personal journey and the support we received along the way.

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This post is part of the daily gratitude practice I am working to develop during 2018. Curious? You can read all about it at ByChanceBuddhism!

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May all beings be happy!

Green tea wisdom

noreply@blogger.com (Renata) — Mon, 05 Nov 2018 12:59:00 +0000

Tea. Coffee. Cocoa. I love hot, caffeinated beverages. Each holds its own set of sensory delights, but there is something special about a hot cup of jasmine green tea. Fragrant and refreshing, this particular tea is one of those things that just makes me feel good.

However, I used to not like it at all. Well, I loved the robust jasmine scent as I opened the package, but found the tea itself bitter. Still, eager to jump on the 'green tea is loaded with healthy phytochemicals and helps you lose weight' bandwagon, I gave it another go, and ended up with a tummy ache from the bitter brew I concocted.

Come to find out, I was doing it all wrong. I didn't know that green tea should only be infused for 1-2 minutes, and that any longer would produce a harsh, acrid brew. I also didn't know that drinking green tea on an empty stomach could cause a belly ache for some people- and that I was one of those people!

But other than admitting that I was once a total green tea 'noob,' the purpose of this post goes deeper than these little lessons in hot beverages. In my 'adventures' with green tea, I was reminded that something can seem beneficial, but only if you have acquired the wisdom to use it properly. If you don't, then it can become harmful- or at the very least uncomfortable. And as I sip my hot jasmine tea on this rainy autumn day, I am grateful for its warmth, and for the valuable reminder it has provided.

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This post is part of the daily gratitude practice I am working to develop during 2018. You can read all about it at ByChanceBuddhism!

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May all beings be happy!

Body shaming shame

noreply@blogger.com (Renata) — Wed, 17 Oct 2018 19:43:00 +0000

Years ago I had a problem with body weight. Rooted in my own body consciousness, this 'weight problem' extended well beyond my individual self.

If you strictly follow BMI, I have been overweight several times in my life, including my current struggle to lose excess pregnancy weight. During each episode of extra poundage, some people said unkind and hurtful things. Others pointed out my weight gain in what I believe was a genuine concern for my wellbeing, but that also stung a little. As emotional as each of those experiences were, I did learn from them, and was eventually able to strengthen my body to a healthier state. However, each weight loss journey definitely took time, since I did it on my own terms.

But before you think I am writing this to pat myself on the back, let me emphasize that is not the case. In addition to being down on myself, I was also mentally very critical of others who were overweight. Although critical of both men and women, I was especially hard on women I didn't know and had never interacted with. I remember thinking things like, "My god, how could she let herself get so heavy?" or "What is wrong with him/her?" or the ever self-righteous, "I would never let myself get like that!"

My criticism may have been silent, but it was still unacceptable. Just as the unkind words directed at me hurt, I realized that although I was not putting my thoughts into action, those thoughts were harmful. They felt ugly, wrong, and yes, shameful, and I wanted them out of my head.

In one previous effort to lose weight, I encountered many personal stories about weight loss. To my surprise and dismay, I found that some people's struggles with weight were tied to direct experiences with physical, emotional, and/or sexual abuse or trauma. Whereas some turn to alcohol or drugs, others turn to food for comfort and escape. Encountering this information, the clouds of ignorance began to clear. I became more aware as a person, and realized that weight loss is for some people not just about moving more and counting calories, but also overcoming some formidable emotional obstacles.

I decided it was necessary for me to change my behavior when I encounter someone who is very overweight. I started being very conscious of my reaction to the person, and reminding myself of the many similarities between myself and the person I behold in that we both have our own experiences, hopes, dreams, and most importantly, desire to be happy and to feel loved.

Yes, I know, it is truly sad that I even had to go through this process in order to change my attitude and subsequent thought processes. But another thing I also know is that my own struggle stems directly from my own insecurities. Not an excuse, but a reason- I take full responsibility for my previous thoughts- and I hope that the fallout from my prior experiences will no longer obscure what should be a clearer, less superficial view of other human beings.

In closing this post, I would like to emphasize that in no way do I mean to provide a crutch against making positive changes towards one's own health, including my own. Being very overweight or obese is extremely detrimental to personal wellbeing, and there are very few exceptions. However, this fact is already well known and it does not mean that we treat someone struggling with excess weight with scorn and aversion, but rather with openness and compassion.
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May all beings be happy!

Room for living

noreply@blogger.com (Renata) — Sat, 29 Sep 2018 03:23:00 +0000

Lately I have been doing a lot of de-cluttering, and finally finished clearing and re-organizing the downstairs closet where we keep our coats, boots, socks, and boxes of books and small decor items that, until we are in a more permanent home, will remain unpacked.

Since clutter is something that tends to bother me, I have been working hard to find ways to counter it. But whether it is organizing existing items or drastically reducing, it is not always easy. Over the years I have found that displaying only the objects I love and find beautiful and/or useful has become increasingly important. This of course results in any excess feeling gradually more burdensome and undesirable.

However, even with my ongoing battles towards downsizing my possessions, today I enjoyed a nice moment where, sitting in my living room with its comfortable, newly slipcovered couch, diverse textiles and patterns, and windowsill adorned with plants, I found it a pleasing mix of old and new, beautiful and utilitarian.

This was actually kind of a breakthrough for me, because, as someone who feels compelled to constantly 'improve' her surroundings, the awareness that there are too many things around usually ends up making me a little uneasy.

This 'decorating dukkha' aside, I really feel as if I am making progress towards fashioning a home that is more than a roof over our heads (and our stuff!), but rather a place that reflects who we are as a family. I feel that my approach to designing our space has now graduated from thinking about things like 'the living room' to creating 'room for living'. It is this slow transition- and the contentment that accompanies it- for which I am grateful.

This basket is of my favorite items on display in our living room.

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This post is part of the daily gratitude practice I am working to develop during 2018. You can read all about it at ByChanceBuddhism!

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May all beings be happy!

Denial of gratitude

noreply@blogger.com (Renata) — Fri, 28 Sep 2018 01:14:00 +0000

A short while ago I read an interesting article about gratitude. The main premise of the article was that trying so hard to be grateful was making the article's author 'sick', and made her feel that gratitude lists were 'a bunch of bullsh*t."

Expecting an angry and entitled 'poor me' rant, I reluctantly read the woman's story. To my surprise, the conclusion was enlightening. This woman had been through all kinds of painful experiences, including loss of loved ones (both human and pets), illness, terrible living conditions, unemployment, depression, and feelings of isolation and hopelessness. In a word, this person was really suffering.

In an effort to alleviate her suffering, many people around her - including therapists- advised her to instead 'think of how lucky she is' or 'how bad others have it', and document her 'good fortune' into daily gratitude lists.

After dutifully writing these lists for some time -with worsening depression- it was clear the 'gratitude' route really wasn't working. After changing therapists and describing her situation and personal obstacles, the therapist, amazed at what she was dealing with, exclaimed, "Man, your life just SUCKS right now!"

As it turns out, hearing those words was really what the woman needed. At the advice of her therapist, she ditched the gratitude lists in exchange for "This SUCKS ASS" lists. Rather than trying to look 'on the bright side,' she was acknowledging and expressing her true feelings about major issues in her life for the first time.

And this is about where the article ends- with the woman ready to celebrate a more authentic self by no longer bottling up the negativity she was experiencing. That article was from over a year ago, and so I can only hope that things are better for her now, and that she is on a path towards healing and happiness.

From a Buddhist perspective, the words of the Buddha and others caution against anger and its consequences. Although I am not able to attribute it to a specific person, I also find the following quotation helpful:

"Explain your anger instead of expressing it, and you will immediately open the door to solutions instead of arguments."

Therefore, I sincerely hope that the woman in the article will also be mindful of her anger and channel it in ways that are beneficial to herself and those around her.

But all that aside, there were several items in the article that also left a lasting impression:

When the person in the article tried to recount painful events or emotions to others, they told her to be grateful for what she had, count her blessings, etc.
The well-meant advice of writing gratitude lists was actually preventing the individual from expressing her true feelings, and therefore hindered her ability to heal from emotional wounds.
In addition to the negative emotions the person was already experiencing, the daily practice of writing gratitude and thinking of others' 'much worse' circumstances added needless pressure and shame in an already bad situation.

So is expressing gratitude while experiencing difficulty a bad thing? I would be the first to say definitely not! But (as you may have already guessed) the crux of the argument is really not whether gratitude is beneficial- it was the harm generated by mistaking outright denial for gratitude. All that advice for 'being grateful' ultimately resulted in the author just pushing her true feelings deeper - and her self further away from any lasting solutions.

Was it because those listening to her story could not bear the thought of her suffering? Did they somehow feel she was weak, and they superior? Or did they not really want to listen, because her pain made them uncomfortable? Whatever the answer to that question, they offered something they thought would solve her issues - all while failing to notice it was not what she truly needed- or was even ready for.

I am no psychologist, but in my experience gratitude is never about hiding or suppressing our feelings, but rather taking joy in the good things in life- even while acknowledging the not-so-good. It is also does not arise from guilt or shame as we compare our difficulties to those others have experienced, but stands independently as we marvel at the small miracles in our own lives. Most of all, gratitude can never be imposed, positioned as a bandaid for an open wound caused by grief or trauma- for then we trade the beauty and truth of gratitude with the deception of denial.

In conclusion, I just want to say that I hope that I do not make this mistake in the future, and that my advocacy for gratitude in my own life does not influence others as a grudging sense of obligation or source of guilt. Expressing gratitude has brought joy to my life because I was ready to receive it with open arms- and that is what I would want for everyone who chooses to embrace it.

True gratitude is simple and pure

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This post is part of the daily gratitude practice I am working to develop during 2018. You can read all about it at ByChanceBuddhism!

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May all beings be happy!

Growing gratitude

noreply@blogger.com (Renata) — Tue, 31 Jul 2018 14:50:00 +0000

Like many bloggers, I include a label cloud on the BCB homepage to so that readers can easily peruse blog topics. Along with "Basic Buddhism" and "Daily Life," "Gratitude" was one of the opening themes, although perhaps eclipsed by the first two due to the topics discussed in early blog posts. But since initiating this current practice, the focus on gratitude and its outward impact on my attitude and life in general has also left its mark on the 'cloud', as you can see for yourself.

As gratitude grows and grows, its influence and effects are starting to show! 😄🙏

Gratitude label 1/3/2018

Gratitude label 7/30/2018

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This post is part of the daily gratitude practice I am working to develop during 2018. You can read all about it at ByChanceBuddhism!

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May all beings be happy!

Lost and found

noreply@blogger.com (Renata) — Tue, 24 Jul 2018 19:32:00 +0000

Something unexpected happened yesterday. While organizing some photos, I found a letter that meant a great deal to me, written by a close family member upon the death of my grandfather. If you have experienced the aftermath of a house fire or other disaster that caused extensive damage to your home and belongings, you are familiar with the dreaded realization that a cherished item is gone forever. Although nothing is more important than the survival of loved ones during such hardships, loss of possessions that hold great sentimental value can also generate much sadness.

After spending a lot of time excavating the scorched family home of my childhood, there were quite a few items that I just could not find. Given the condition of the house and endless piles of charred or smoke/water-damaged, and yes, still frozen belongings, this was not surprising. So many items had to be cleaned, washed, or somehow salvaged, or the pieces to be picked up and discarded.

Since those days I have occasionally thought about certain sentimental items (usually a card or letter written by a loved one) and wondered if it still existed. In many cases I didn't dare to hope, and put the idea from my mind.

But still, over the past few years I have, unbelievably, come across some of these precious items, and yesterday was one of those days. As I went through an old photo album, the colors and patterns on a card placed inside caught my eye. It was then I realized that this card held the letter I thought I had lost! Amazed, I read it over and over, tears flowing down my cheeks. The love and compassion conveyed by that letter was something I had never forgotten, but the fact that I was able to hold it in my hands and read the actual words once again made me feel incredibly happy, and yes, so very grateful. 💕

Strangely, I know I must have opened that album many times since the fire but had not seen the letter, probably because I had assumed it was lost. Perhaps it is this type of discovery that is driving my current organizing/decluttering endeavor, not only so that I know what possessions we have, but so that I can keep those most precious to me and my family (such as this letter and others like it), closest.

In closing, I will acknowledge that some may find this post, in which I express happiness at being reunited with certain possessions, confusing. Buddhism has a reputation of austerity when it comes to personal belongings, especially to those unfamiliar with the actual doctrine. Meanwhile, practicing Buddhists understand that laypeople are not forbidden from earning money and owning possessions, but we must avoid becoming ensnared by feelings of attachment to what we own.

I will agree that in this post I am also recognizing my own attachment, since I felt sad when I thought I had lost something precious. But I also realize that my joy at finding these lost items is not for the sake of 'possession,' but because I feel like I have been given a second chance to cherish a lovely memory in its tangible form. And now that I know that these tangible things can be gone in an instant, my former 'attachment' can now truly give way to reverence and gratitude.

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This post is part of the daily gratitude practice I am working to develop during 2018. You can read all about it at ByChanceBuddhism!

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May all beings be happy!

Reassessment

noreply@blogger.com (Renata) — Mon, 23 Jul 2018 19:45:00 +0000

I know that lately my posts have not been as numerous. I am busy, but in a different way than when I was teaching. I am productive, but often feel unproductive. I would not go so far as to say that I am 'stuck', because I definitely feel that I am moving forward on multiple fronts, albeit slowly. More correctly, I feel that this is a time for reflection and assessment, so that I can see where I stand and then change course if need be.

Here are some of my feelings, in a nutshell:

I feel overwhelmed by household tasks, and things I need to do (e.g. wash baby clothes) seem to sneak up on me before I know it.

Each day I complete many different tasks, yet I fear that few results are lasting or meaningful.

Will I ever be able to get back to prioritizing my applications and professional writing in the midst of so many household tasks and obligations?

I would like to spend more time each day focusing on my own wellbeing and success, and forming new habits that will eventually benefit myself and others.

In contrast to last year at this time, I feel much more calm, happy, and yes, grateful.

I am really happy with how this current gratitude practice has expanded my focus towards the bigger picture.

I really love writing about what I am grateful for. Even if there was some hiccup in my day, being conscious of the 'good things' has really helped my outlook and lifted my spirits.

Although I love expressing gratitude in my posts here at BCB, I am aware that there is still much more to do. Indeed, writing these posts constitutes 'action', but I know that there is still much more to express -and act upon- the gratitude I feel by actually doing something for someone. In that respect I am stuck, because I feel that I am not able to do anything that would be thoughtful enough.

I have thanked several people in my life, but also have many more to thank. Does it make sense that I look forward to writing each of these gratitude posts, yet also find the magnitude of posts still left to write incredibly daunting?

I have come to the conclusion that expressing gratitude through posts here at BCB should be extended beyond a yearlong practice. However, I do not wish to delay my thanks to people who are important to me just because I have given myself more time.

I feel I am not writing posts to express my gratitude 'fast enough', and that, despite my best intentions not to, that I am help up writing the 'perfect post', especially if I am thanking a person who I care about.

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So there you go; a mixture of my more recent thoughts and personal challenges. For those of you who know me personally, you know that I am a problem solver, and I have already found a viable way to keep my daily tasks organized in a manageable way. In a word, it is Habitica, an online site and accompanying app that treats our daily 'to-do's and the habits we wish to develop as a Role Playing Game, or RPG. Although never a big gamer, the concept (and the fact that it is free to try!) intrigued me, and so I thought I'd give it a whirl. So far I have found that it is intuitive and useful, and yes, also innovative, rewarding, and fun! I never thought that I would be 'one of those people' who enter their to-do's into a list/calendar of sorts, but so far I love it! Researching how to keep daily tasks organized and trying a new system has given me the hope -and motivation- to start finally working towards all those things I have been meaning to do but haven't.

As for the gratitude practice, I know I should continue to keep forging on, since I certainly don't want to stop now. But I just need to think about how I can do this and not drop the ball on other important things going on in my life, so that I may look back and see that my effort has made some positive impact. In writing this post I am also reaching out to my readers, whose wisdom and advice I greatly respect - and very much look forward to! 🙏

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This post is part of the daily gratitude practice I am working to develop during 2018. You can read all about it at ByChanceBuddhism!

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May all beings be happy!

Gratitude and Impermanence

noreply@blogger.com (Renata) — Mon, 02 Jul 2018 19:47:00 +0000

If someone is curious about Buddhism, one of the first things they may learn are the Four Noble Truths:

First Noble Truth: There is suffering (dukkha)

Second Noble Truth: Suffering is caused by desire

Third Noble Truth: Suffering can end completely

Fourth Noble Truth: The Noble Eightfold Path is the remedy for suffering

In terms of meaning, that of the First Noble Truth is apparent; we see suffering everyday, in ourselves and others. The Second Noble Truth states that attachment/desire, selfish craving (tanha), and wishing things to be different from how they really are is the cause of all suffering. The Third Noble Truth states that the constant state of suffering we experience can cease through pursuing the Fourth Noble Truth; following the Noble Eightfold Path.

To avoid an overly pessimistic view of these foundations, let's first clarify the meaning of 'dukkha.' Roughly translated as 'suffering', 'dukkha' in linguistic terms has a complex definition and thus many meanings. For simplicity, I refer to dukkha as the inherent 'unsatisfactoriness' of all things, which manifests as suffering ranging from slight discomfort to extreme misery.

Reflecting further, we may realize the strong connection between impermanence and suffering. In our human experience, we know that all the things we enjoy, cherish, love, or have ever loved do not last forever. Just as our favorite flower fades, so may our connection to an old friend. Homes can burn or be washed away, and loved ones die and leave us with only memories of their presence. We also know the ultimate truth about ourselves, that we too will someday die and take leave of everything we love and have worked so hard for. Whilst interspersed amongst many happy moments, the impermanent (and therefore 'unsatisfactory') nature of all things is as real as life itself, and can be a cause for much sadness. If were are ever to be truly happy, how do we confront this potentially infinite source of suffering?

That's where gratitude comes in. When we are grateful, we acknowledge that wonderful moments -and not-so-wonderful ones - will eventually pass. When we are grateful, we accept impermanence; there is no sense grasping things that we know will not last forever. Rather, we smile and accept all that is good in our lives with open hearts. Although we may always hope for our loved ones' safety and wellbeing, our newfound wisdom may bring our constant fear of losing them out of focus. Instead of letting our resistance to change render life's blessings unfulfilling and trite, practicing gratitude amidst the reality of impermanence makes everything all the more precious. Instead of clutching in fear and trepidation, we may embrace all that we love in the present moment with happiness and contentment.

Created by Renata viaGIPHY

Delicate blossoms fade, transient in the cool spring air.

A crisp breeze arises, and we understand the nature of change.

Showered by translucent petals, we smile in the present moment.

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This post is part of the daily gratitude practice I am working to develop during 2018. You can read all about it at ByChanceBuddhism!

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May all beings be happy!