By The Book Comics

Their eyes were holden that they should not know him

docmike@sprintpcs.com (DocMike) — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 17:52:00 +0000

According to the New Testament, Jesus' closest friends didn't recognize him after the resurrection. John tells us (in 20:14) that Mary Magdalene, a woman Jesus had a questionable past with, looked right at him but didn't know who he was. In Mark 16:12, two of Jesus' disciples didn't recognize him because he "appeared in another form." And according to Luke 24:16, their eyes were "holden" so they wouldn't know him.

Assuming there was ever a historic Jesus and that the Gospels were even loosely based on actual events (which I greatly doubt), I think there is a much simpler explanation. Maybe it wasn't him at all! Maybe the disciples didn't recognize him because it wasn't the same dude! Maybe they wanted so much to believe that he had risen, that they voted in a new Messiah.

"Sure, he looks different and walks with a limp, but he knows all the scriptures and what a great story this will make! He rose from the dead! Praise the Lord!"

What do you think?

John 20:14 And when she [Mary Magdalene] had thus said, she turned herself back, and saw Jesus standing, and knew not that it was Jesus.

Mark 16:12 After that he appeared in another form unto two of them, as they walked, and went into the country.

Luke 24:16 But their eyes were holden that they should not know him.

Spreading the "Good News"

docmike@sprintpcs.com (DocMike) — Mon, 11 May 2009 18:48:00 +0000

When Christians say things like, "Jesus loves you" or "God has a plan for your life" they assume people appreciate it. To me, it's like saying, "The Easter Bunny loves you." Well, actually, it's worse than that. If someone over the age of ten said that, I would just assume it was a joke.

But when someone tells me Jesus loves me, it's insulting! Why would I care if some mythical figure (or possibly an actual historic human) loves me? For that matter, why would I care if any random person alive or dead loves me? It's like they assume I'm so lonely, hopeless, and unhappy that I would find comfort in knowing that their invisible friend cares about me.

And when they say that their God has a plan for my life, that's even worse! What makes them think I want to live my life by anyone's plan but my own? God's plan for them obviously includes standing on the street corner or knocking on doors telling people about it. That doesn't sound like a great plan to me. I think I'll just stick with my own.

If someone shows up at church and wants to know what God and Jesus think of them, by all means, they should be told. But when I'm sitting in my living room or walking around town, I don't want to hear it. And I think many people (religious and non-religious alike) would agree.

Wives, submit yourselves unto your husbands

docmike@sprintpcs.com (DocMike) — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 21:10:00 +0000

I don't understand how any modern woman can buy into the teachings of the Bible. It's so obvious, the book was written by men; specifically men who believed that women were inferior. And I'm not even talking about the Old Testament here. This one is from Ephesians:

5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
5:24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

Yeah, I know it goes on to say that men should love their wives even as Christ loved the church, but love is not equality. You can love your pet or your big screen TV, but you don't think of them as equals.

Here are a few more from the New Testament:

1 Corinthians 11:3: But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
1 Corinthians 14:34-36: Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience as also saith the law. And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church.
Colossians 3:18: Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.
1 Timothy 2:11-15: Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing.
1 Peter 3:1: Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands.

(See The Skeptic's Annotated Bible for more examples)

Atheist Thought of the Day 3/16/2009

docmike@sprintpcs.com (DocMike) — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 13:51:00 +0000

Take my virgin daughters, please!

docmike@sprintpcs.com (DocMike) — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 13:11:00 +0000

Here's a nice little Bible story for the kids. In Genesis 19:8, Lot protects some of God's angels by offering his "virgin" daughters to the men of Sodom instead.

"I have two daughters which have not known man; let me, I pray you, bring them out unto you, and do ye to them as is good in your eyes."

This is a horrible story! Can you imagine a father doing such a thing? Actually, Lot was lying about the virgin part. According to Genesis 19:14, they were both married.

A little later, in Genesis 19:32, Lot's "virgin daughters" get him drunk and seduce him. See my comic from April 2007 The "just and righteous" Lot.

Technorati Tags:
humor Atheist Bible Christians Comics religion Sodom and Gomorrah

For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth and scourgeth...

docmike@sprintpcs.com (DocMike) — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 16:54:00 +0000

When I was a child, I was taught that the bible-god was loving and caring. All the stories I heard in church and in Sunday School seemed to prove this. But when I got a little older and started reading the Bible myself, I found him to be a very different "person."

The god described in the Old Testament is angry, vindictive, jealous, and has a lot of other negative human emotions that I would never have attributed to the "God" of my childhood. He reminded me of other gods I had learned about from Greek and Egyptian mythology.

To me, it was obvious that it was all a farce, that the bible-god was created by men to control other men. I mean, why would the creator of the universe be so "human"? Why would he make mistakes and regret things and change his mind and torture and kill those who wouldn't worship him?

And then I thought, even if he were real, why would anyone want to worship such a sadistic bastard? He was like some crazy, angry, old man who would throw temper tantrums when things didn't go his way. The difference was, he had super powers and could hurt and kill people with a single word. I thought, if my family knew a man like this, they would never let me go near him!

And that was when I became an Atheist...

Rules are Rules

docmike@sprintpcs.com (DocMike) — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 15:56:00 +0000

When confronted with ridiculous Bible rules, Christians often respond the same way, "That was the Old Testament. Those laws are no longer valid." Well, here's a little story from the New Testament that disproves their claim.

In Matthew, chapter 15, Jesus is criticized by the Pharisees for not washing his hands before eating. He defends himself by attacking them for not killing disobedient children according to the rule: "He that curseth his father or mother, shall be surely put to death." (Exodus 21:17, Leviticus 20:9, Deuteronomy 21:18-21)

So, is that rule still valid or not? How do Christians reconcile their unwillingness to kill their own children for cursing them, with their insistence that the Bible is the inerrant word of God?

Deuteronomy explains it like this:

21:18 If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that, when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them:
21:19 Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his place;
21:20 And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard.
21:21 And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die: so shalt thou put evil away from among you; and all shall hear, and fear.

Pretty clear, huh?

Teaching Christian Morals at the Office

docmike@sprintpcs.com (DocMike) — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 14:28:00 +0000

Do you have a guy like this at work?

Many Christians feel the need to save the rest of the world, whether we like it or not. Why can't they just leave us alone?

Scientific Breakthroughs from the Bible (Part III)

docmike@sprintpcs.com (DocMike) — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 20:36:00 +0000

The Bible describes a flat, circular Earth sitting on pillars, with a dome over it, which contained the Sun, the Moon, and the stars. God lived in and on the dome. The Moon made its own light and the stars were just smaller lights in the night sky. The Earth was the center of everything. It remained still, while the Sun, Moon, and stars moved over it.

Of course this is probably what everyone believed around the time the Bible was written, but wouldn’t the creator of the universe, an omniscient god, know better?

Here are some verses that illustrate the Bible authors’ obvious ignorance about these things:

Genesis 1:16 And God made two great lights; the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night: he made the stars also.

1 Samuel 2:8 … for the pillars of the earth are the LORD's, and he hath set the world upon them.

1 Chronicles 16:30 Fear before him, all the earth: the world also shall be stable, that it be not moved.

Job 9:6 Which shaketh the earth out of her place, and the pillars thereof tremble.

Isaiah 13:10 For the stars of heaven and the constellations thereof shall not give their light: the sun shall be darkened in his going forth, and the moon shall not cause her light to shine.

Isaiah 40:22 It is he that sitteth upon the circle of the earth, and the inhabitants thereof are as grasshoppers; that stretcheth out the heavens as a curtain, and spreadeth them out as a tent to dwell in:

Daniel 4:10 Thus were the visions of mine head in my bed; I saw, and behold a tree in the midst of the earth, and the height thereof was great.
Daniel 4:11 The tree grew, and was strong, and the height thereof reached unto heaven, and the sight thereof to the end of all the earth:

Daniel 4:20 The tree that thou sawest, which grew, and was strong, whose height reached unto the heaven, and the sight thereof to all the earth;

Matthew 4:8 Again, the devil taketh him up into an exceeding high mountain, and sheweth him all the kingdoms of the world, and the glory of them;

NOTE: This last verse demonstrates that Matthew thought one could see the entire Earth from the top of a mountain. This could only be true on a flat earth.

Teach Both Theories

docmike@sprintpcs.com (DocMike) — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 14:28:00 +0000

War on Christmas?

docmike@sprintpcs.com (DocMike) — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 20:47:00 +0000

In 2005, Bill O'Reilly declared there was a "War On Christmas" because retailers were posting signs that said, "Happy Holidays" or "Season's Greetings" instead of "Merry Christmas." Of course, the stores were simply trying to appeal to all Americans instead of a single group, in hopes that everyone would buy more stuff during the holiday shopping season. But Uncle Bill and his followers proceeded to blacklist retailers and anyone else who didn't cave in to the media pressure.

Now, three years later, Bill is pushing, "We Say Merry Christmas" bumper stickers (free with a purchase of $19.95 or more from his website), The Liberty Council and Focus on the Family have posted "Naughty or Nice" lists, identifying retailers who mention (or don't mention) the word "Christmas" in their ads, and there has been a major backlash by religious groups (and individuals) about recent billboards and signs posted by various groups.

When are Bill and the others going to realize that this is not a war on Christmas? Rather, it's an effort to include everyone, regardless of their beliefs, in the celebration of the season. Whether you celebrate The Winter Solstice, Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or whatever, you should have the right, in a free country, to celebrate and to be acknowledged without exclusion or discrimination.

I mean, we're bombarded with Christmas messages even though most non-Christians know that it was originally a pagan holiday. You don't see non-Christian groups boycotting, having signs removed, etc. (that I know of). People of all faiths (and no faith) should be able to enjoy gift giving, family gatherings, and private and public celebrations without being demonized. And retailers should be able to advertise to the general public without being deemed "naughty".

What's really funny is the worst promotions against Christmas come from self-proclaimed Christians. See Fred Phelps's "Santa Clause will take you to Hell" promotion as a prime example.

How's that for a "War on Christmas?"

Other References:

Liberty Council Naughty/Nice List

Focus on the Family puts retailers on Christmas naughty, nice list

Atheist sign joins nativity scene, tree at Capitol

Missing atheist sign found in Washington state

"Imagine No Religion" Billboard Visits Canton, Ohio This Month!

American Humanist Association Puts Atheist Ads on D.C. Buses

Don't believe in God? You are not alone.

Religious Billboards

docmike@sprintpcs.com (DocMike) — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 13:44:00 +0000

You can't swing a dead cat in many US cities without hitting a religious billboard. But when the Freedom From Religion Foundation put one up that simply said, "Imagine No Religion",

Christians went crazy! The sign company received so many calls from people who were "offended" that they took the sign down. And when The Colorado Coalition of Reason put this one up

the religious press had a field day.

So why are they so offended? What are they worried about? If churches all over the country can post hell threats and cutesy little "What part of 'Thou Shalt" don't you understand" signs, why can't a non-religious group post something as non-threatening as these signs?

The answer can only be that religious people realize their belief system is so fragile, so delicate, that anything that provokes thought and reason will likely change the minds of some of their flock. Or worse, these insidious non-believers could create a change in society as a whole that would make their ancient mythological beliefs completely and utterly obsolete.

Now wouldn't that be something?

Leviticus General Hospital

docmike@sprintpcs.com (DocMike) — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 19:20:00 +0000

I know I've done this one to death (excuse the pun), but I just love Leviticus!

Noah's "Arc" :Genesis 9:20

docmike@sprintpcs.com (DocMike) — Fri, 07 Nov 2008 23:02:00 +0000

I love finding obscure Bible stories the kids never hear in Sunday School. Here's a nice little tale about one of the Bible-God's favorite people, Noah.

Apparently, after the whole ark thing was over, Noah planted a vineyard so he could get drunk whenever he wanted. One day, he got so drunk he fell asleep naked in his tent. When his son, Ham, wandered in and saw Noah's "nakedness", Noah got pissed off. Genesis 9:24 says, "And Noah awoke from his wine, and knew what his younger son had done unto him." I'm not sure what Ham did, but it sounds like Noah was mad because Ham didn't cover his eyes.

So in retaliation Noah cursed Ham's son, Canaan, to be "a servant of servants." In fact, Canaan (Noah's grandson) would become a servant to Noah's other son, Shem, because of what his father did (or didn't do).

It's very complicated and it really makes you wonder what the fuck kind of message the author of this story was trying to convey. Is there a moral here? Don't look at your father's dick or your kids will be made into slaves? Is that it? Great lesson! I'm sure glad God Almighty, the creator of the universe got that one out to us!

Technorati Tags: humor Atheist Bible Christian Comics religion

That was the Old Testament...

docmike@sprintpcs.com (DocMike) — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 20:32:00 +0000

Evangelical leader James Dobson said, yesterday, that Obama was "distorting the Bible" when he made the following statements in a speech:

Obama asked, "Which passages of scripture should guide our public policy? Should we go with Leviticus, which suggests slavery is OK and that eating shellfish is an abomination? Or we could go with Deuteronomy, which suggests stoning your child if he strays from the faith? Or should we just stick to the Sermon on the Mount?"

Dobson said, "I think he's deliberately distorting the traditional understanding of the Bible to fit his own world view, his own confused theology," adding that Obama is "dragging biblical understanding through the gutter." He went on to say that Obama should not be referencing "antiquated dietary codes and passages from the Old Testament that are no longer relevant to the teachings of the New Testament."

Isn't this typical? It's okay for Dobson and other Christians to distort the Bible to fit their world view; for example calling certain parts "antiquated" and "no longer relevant" while claiming other parts are still completely relevant. I wonder who decides which is which...

In my world view, the entire book is antiquated and irrelevant!

I especially like the phrase "traditional understanding of the Bible." I guess that means don't use your own mind (or reason) to figure out what it says or means. Just ask Uncle Jimmy. He'll set you straight on the "real" meaning. After all, we're all too stupid to figure out what the sky-daddy was talking about. Right?

Technorati Tags:
humor Atheist Bible Christian Comics religion Evangelical

Evangelical Manifesto

docmike@sprintpcs.com (DocMike) — Wed, 07 May 2008 14:19:00 +0000

This is hilarious! Christian scholars and theologians are releasing a manifesto today to "take back" the term Evangelical from the politicians. Apparently, it's starting to have a negative connotation in the world of politics. I wonder why?

USA Today says in Manifesto aims to make 'evangelical' less political:

"Evangelical" has been widely used to refer to Christians who have conservative political views, but the Evangelical Theological Society requires members to agree on just two points: inerrancy of Scripture, and belief in God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit as "separate but equal in attributes and glory" and essential for salvation.

This really makes me laugh because if "Scripture" is nothing else it is errant. In fact that's exactly what this blog is all about. And don't even get me started on the "holy trinity"... Ha!

Technorati Tags:
humor Atheist Bible Christian Comics religion Evangelical

National Day of Prayer

docmike@sprintpcs.com (DocMike) — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 17:41:00 +0000

Tomorrow, May 1st, is being promoted by Christians as the National Day of Prayer. So they all get together and pray for... what? It's hard to believe that nobody has ever prayed to end the war or feed all of the starving children or end poverty or rid the world of all suffering, etc. And if they have (and they surely have) and we still have all of these things (and we certainly do), then how the hell can they still believe prayer works?

It's the same old thing. The Bible-God just can't lose! If Christians pray for something and they get it, they thank him for answering their prayers. And if the thing they prayed for doesn't happen, they excuse him with something like, "It wasn't God's will" or "God has his reasons." (I wonder what his reasons could be for allowing innocent children to suffer through sexual and physical abuse, starving, and disease.)

And if their god is going to do whatever the hell he wants to do anyway, then why the hell pray in the first place?

Technorati Tags:
humor Atheist Bible Christian Comics God religion

April Fools!

docmike@sprintpcs.com (DocMike) — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 13:44:00 +0000

Many of the stories in the Bible are so preposterous, even a child should see through the bullshit. But thousands of years later, fools continue to believe. When will the insanity end?

Happy April Fools' Day, everyone!

A Woman's Place...

docmike@sprintpcs.com (DocMike) — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 15:13:00 +0000

One of my employees, who happens to be a young Christian woman, said today that she would never vote for Hillary Clinton because she is a woman and the Bible says that women should not be leaders.

"That's a man's job," she said.

I asked her where it says that in the Bible and she didn't know. She just knows that it's in there and she knows that God intended women to be submissive to men.

I wanted to rant and rave and fire her ass for being so fucking stupid! But I realized that it's not her fault. I pity her because she is a young, attractive, intelligent woman who has been indoctrinated all of her life and accepts that she could never be equal to a man. It's really sad!

And the fact is she's right about the Bible. It does say that:

1 Timothy 2:12 But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.

It's a shame that, in this day and age, young women are still limiting themselves because of this horrible, antiquated book that was obviously written by men! Makes me fucking sick!!!

Here’s some more female denigration from the Bible:

Genesis 3:16 Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.

1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

1 Corinthians 11:7 For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, forasmuch as he is the image and glory of God: but the woman is the glory of the man.

1 Corinthians 11:8 For the man is not of the woman: but the woman of the man.

1 Corinthians 11:9 Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.

1 Corinthians 14:34 Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience as also saith the law.

1 Corinthians 14:35 And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church.

1 Timothy 2:11 Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection.

1 Timothy 2:13 For Adam was first formed, then Eve.

1 Timothy 2:14 And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.

Colossians 3:18 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.

Also see Women in the Bible from The Skeptics Annotated Bible for many more examples.

Technorati Tags:
humor Atheist Bible Christian Comics humor Bible Denigrates Women Hillary Clinton

Scientific Breakthroughs from the Bible (Part II)

docmike@sprintpcs.com (DocMike) — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 14:44:00 +0000

The book of Revelation includes so many ridiculous and horrible prophesies, it's obvious that "St. John" was either consciously trying to scare people into submission or he was on some kind of psychedelic substance; or both.

To me, one of his most revealing claims is that the stars will fall to the earth. Of course at the time of his writing, people didn't know just how big and far away the stars really are. To them, they were just little lights in the sky. But if his "visions" where really coming from an omniscient god, wouldn't he have known?

Here are the verses in question:

Revelation 6:13 And the stars of heaven fell unto the earth, even as a fig tree casteth her untimely figs, when she is shaken of a mighty wind.

Revelation 8:10 And the third angel sounded, and there fell a great star from heaven, burning as it were a lamp, and it fell upon the third part of the rivers, and upon the fountains of waters;

Revelation 9:1 And the fifth angel sounded, and I saw a star fall from heaven unto the earth: and to him was given the key of the bottomless pit.

Revelation 12:4 And his tail drew the third part of the stars of heaven, and did cast them to the earth: and the dragon stood before the woman which was ready to be delivered, for to devour her child as soon as it was born.

Technorati Tags:
humor Atheist Bible Christian Comics New Testament Revelation St. John

Happy Friday!

docmike@sprintpcs.com (DocMike) — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 13:51:00 +0000

TZIF! Thank Zeus it's Friday! If christians can thank a mythical god for good things that happen and things that are inevitable (like Fridays), why can't Atheists do the same?

I think the christian god has had exclusive rights to Fridays for too long! It's time to dethrone him! So before some christian can recite their TGIF tag line, why not throw them a curve ball by thanking some other mythical character? I find it really freaks them out and often prompts some very interesting conversations...

Happy Friday, everyone!

Technorati Tags:
humor Atheist God Christian Comics

Scientific Breakthroughs from the Bible (Part I)

docmike@sprintpcs.com (DocMike) — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 16:14:00 +0000

Today's comic was inspired by a recent comment (to my last comic) on Ex-Christian.net. A christian poster made the statement, "There is much science in the Bible". To which, several ex-christian posters responded with various examples of scientific errors in the bible.

"... talking snakes and donkeys", "...riding chariots of fire into heaven", "...holding up a striped staff to copulating goats so they have striped kids", "... the classification of bats as birds", "Floating axe heads", "Walking on water", "Raising the dead", "Commanding the sun to stand still", "creation story", "firmament", etc.

The christian then posted links to websites that actually claim dinosaurs were mentioned in the book of Job and that they lived alongside humans! This is so preposterous that I can only laugh to keep from crying. I guess years of scientific discoveries and fossil evidence mean nothing!

Christians never cease to amaze me with their ability to live in a world so influenced (and enhanced) by science, and enjoy all of the modern conveniences of life that science has made possible, but at the same time reject science when it conflicts with what their ancient "holy book" says.

Teflon Deity

docmike@sprintpcs.com (DocMike) — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 14:09:00 +0000

In the wake of the tornadoes that recently ravaged the Southern US, I am once again amazed by the ability of Christians to justify and excuse their god for the evil in the world and praise him for the things that turn out positive. What's worse, they sometimes claim that their "omnipotent" god is not even responsible for the bad things!

"Thirteen were killed in Arkansas, seven in Kentucky, and five were killed in Alabama where some 500 homes were also destroyed. Tennessee was the hardest hit, with 34 killed and 230 citizens still unaccounted for in the poor, farming areas of Macon County near the Kentucky border."

Today's comic was inspired by a report on NPR, in the aftermath of the tornadoes. A woman being interviewed had survived (not in very good shape, mind you) her mobile home being destroyed around her. When the interviewer asked why she thinks she survived, she said, "God must have a plan for me." The very next question was about her husband who was killed in the storm. She replied, "Jesus took him home."

And that reminded me of a conversation I had with a christian friend right after hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans a few years ago. I asked, "How can your god kill and injure so many innocent people?" Her reply was, "You can't blame God for the weather."

Unbelievable!

Genesis 7:4 For yet seven days, and I will cause it to rain upon the earth forty days and forty nights; and every living substance that I have made will I destroy from off the face of the earth.

Deuteronomy 11:17 And [then] the LORD'S wrath be kindled against you, and he shut up the heaven, that there be no rain, and that the land yield not her fruit; and [lest] ye perish quickly from off the good land which the LORD giveth you.

Deuteronomy 28:24 The LORD shall make the rain of thy land powder and dust: from heaven shall it come down upon thee, until thou be destroyed.

1 Samuel 12:18 So Samuel called unto the LORD; and the LORD sent thunder and rain that day: and all the people greatly feared the LORD and Samuel.

Nahum 1:3 The LORD [is] slow to anger, and great in power, and will not at all acquit [the wicked]: the LORD hath his way in the whirlwind and in the storm, and the clouds [are] the dust of his feet.

Technorati Tags: humor Atheist Bible Christianity Comics disaster

Once a Baby-Killer...

docmike@sprintpcs.com (DocMike) — Tue, 12 Feb 2008 23:43:00 +0000

For some reason, pro-life Christians think their God is against abortion and baby-killing. I don't get it! There are lots of examples to the contrary in the Bible. I mean, who has killed more babies than the Christian God? Have you read these passages?

Hosea 13:16 Samaria shall become desolate; for she hath rebelled against her God: they shall fall by the sword: their infants shall be dashed in pieces, and their women with child shall be ripped up.

Exodus 12:29 "And it came to pass, that at midnight the LORD smote all the firstborn in the land of Egypt..."

2 Samuel 12:14 Howbeit, because by this deed thou hast given great occasion to the enemies of the LORD to blaspheme, the child also that is born unto thee shall surely die.

Isaiah 13:16 Their children also shall be dashed to pieces before their eyes; their houses shall be spoiled, and their wives ravished.

Isaiah 13:18 Their bows also shall dash the young men to pieces; and they shall have no pity on the fruit of the womb; their eyes shall not spare children.

Isaiah 14:21 Prepare slaughter for his children for the iniquity of their fathers; that they do not rise, nor possess the land, nor fill the face of the world with cities.

Numbers 31:17 Now therefore kill every male among the little ones, and kill every woman that hath known man by lying with him.

I ask you... How can Christians carry that book around and swear by it's contents, but have absolutely no fucking idea what it says? Amazing!!!

Technorati Tags:
humor Atheist Bible Christian Comics humor

On the off chance Huckabee wins...

docmike@sprintpcs.com (DocMike) — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 23:45:00 +0000

I've been thinking about what would happen if Mike Huckabee won the Presidency and really did change the Constitution to "God's Laws". One thing for sure, the rock business would get a big boost!

According to the Bible, God prescribes stoning for all kinds of offenses. Here are a few examples: (I actually copied this list from one of my favorite Atheist resources called, Dwindling In Unbelief. I hope Steve doesn't mind.)

1.	For touching Mount Sinai	Exodus 19:13
2.	For taking "accursed things"	Joshua 7:1-26
3.	For cursing or blaspheming	Leviticus 24:16
4.	For adultery (including urban rape victims who fail to scream loud enough)	Deuteronomy 22:23-24
5.	For animals (like an ox that gores a human)	Exodus 21:28
6.	For a woman who is not a virgin on her wedding night	Deuteronomy 22:13-21
7.	For worshipping other gods	Deuteronomy 17:2-5
8.	For preaching the wrong religion	Deuteronomy 13:5-10
9.	For disobeying parents	Deuteronomy 21:18-21
10.	For witches and wizards	Leviticus 20:27
11.	For giving your children to Molech	Leviticus 20:2
12.	For breaking the Sabbath	Numbers 15:32-56
13.	For cursing the king	1 Kings 21:10