By The Book Comics

That was the Old Testament...

docmike@sprintpcs.com (DocMike) — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 20:32:00 +0000

Evangelical leader James Dobson said, yesterday, that Obama was "distorting the Bible" when he made the following statements in a speech:

Obama asked, "Which passages of scripture should guide our public policy? Should we go with Leviticus, which suggests slavery is OK and that eating shellfish is an abomination? Or we could go with Deuteronomy, which suggests stoning your child if he strays from the faith? Or should we just stick to the Sermon on the Mount?"

Dobson said, "I think he's deliberately distorting the traditional understanding of the Bible to fit his own world view, his own confused theology," adding that Obama is "dragging biblical understanding through the gutter." He went on to say that Obama should not be referencing "antiquated dietary codes and passages from the Old Testament that are no longer relevant to the teachings of the New Testament."

Isn't this typical? It's okay for Dobson and other Christians to distort the Bible to fit their world view; for example calling certain parts "antiquated" and "no longer relevant" while claiming other parts are still completely relevant. I wonder who decides which is which...

In my world view, the entire book is antiquated and irrelevant!

I especially like the phrase "traditional understanding of the Bible." I guess that means don't use your own mind (or reason) to figure out what it says or means. Just ask Uncle Jimmy. He'll set you straight on the "real" meaning. After all, we're all too stupid to figure out what the sky-daddy was talking about. Right?

Technorati Tags:
humor Atheist Bible Christian Comics religion Evangelical

Evangelical Manifesto

docmike@sprintpcs.com (DocMike) — Wed, 07 May 2008 14:19:00 +0000

This is hilarious! Christian scholars and theologians are releasing a manifesto today to "take back" the term Evangelical from the politicians. Apparently, it's starting to have a negative connotation in the world of politics. I wonder why?

USA Today says in Manifesto aims to make 'evangelical' less political:

"Evangelical" has been widely used to refer to Christians who have conservative political views, but the Evangelical Theological Society requires members to agree on just two points: inerrancy of Scripture, and belief in God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit as "separate but equal in attributes and glory" and essential for salvation.

This really makes me laugh because if "Scripture" is nothing else it is errant. In fact that's exactly what this blog is all about. And don't even get me started on the "holy trinity"... Ha!

Technorati Tags:
humor Atheist Bible Christian Comics religion Evangelical

National Day of Prayer

docmike@sprintpcs.com (DocMike) — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 17:41:00 +0000

Tomorrow, May 1st, is being promoted by Christians as the National Day of Prayer. So they all get together and pray for... what? It's hard to believe that nobody has ever prayed to end the war or feed all of the starving children or end poverty or rid the world of all suffering, etc. And if they have (and they surely have) and we still have all of these things (and we certainly do), then how the hell can they still believe prayer works?

It's the same old thing. The Bible-God just can't lose! If Christians pray for something and they get it, they thank him for answering their prayers. And if the thing they prayed for doesn't happen, they excuse him with something like, "It wasn't God's will" or "God has his reasons." (I wonder what his reasons could be for allowing innocent children to suffer through sexual and physical abuse, starving, and disease.)

And if their god is going to do whatever the hell he wants to do anyway, then why the hell pray in the first place?

Technorati Tags:
humor Atheist Bible Christian Comics God religion

April Fools!

docmike@sprintpcs.com (DocMike) — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 13:44:00 +0000

Many of the stories in the Bible are so preposterous, even a child should see through the bullshit. But thousands of years later, fools continue to believe. When will the insanity end?

Happy April Fools' Day, everyone!

A Woman's Place...

docmike@sprintpcs.com (DocMike) — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 15:13:00 +0000

One of my employees, who happens to be a young Christian woman, said today that she would never vote for Hillary Clinton because she is a woman and the Bible says that women should not be leaders.

"That's a man's job," she said.

I asked her where it says that in the Bible and she didn't know. She just knows that it's in there and she knows that God intended women to be submissive to men.

I wanted to rant and rave and fire her ass for being so fucking stupid! But I realized that it's not her fault. I pity her because she is a young, attractive, intelligent woman who has been indoctrinated all of her life and accepts that she could never be equal to a man. It's really sad!

And the fact is she's right about the Bible. It does say that:

1 Timothy 2:12 But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.

It's a shame that, in this day and age, young women are still limiting themselves because of this horrible, antiquated book that was obviously written by men! Makes me fucking sick!!!

Here’s some more female denigration from the Bible:

Genesis 3:16 Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.

1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

1 Corinthians 11:7 For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, forasmuch as he is the image and glory of God: but the woman is the glory of the man.

1 Corinthians 11:8 For the man is not of the woman: but the woman of the man.

1 Corinthians 11:9 Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.

1 Corinthians 14:34 Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience as also saith the law.

1 Corinthians 14:35 And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church.

1 Timothy 2:11 Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection.

1 Timothy 2:13 For Adam was first formed, then Eve.

1 Timothy 2:14 And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.

Colossians 3:18 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.

Also see Women in the Bible from The Skeptics Annotated Bible for many more examples.

Technorati Tags:
humor Atheist Bible Christian Comics humor Bible Denigrates Women Hillary Clinton

Scientific Breakthroughs from the Bible (Part II)

docmike@sprintpcs.com (DocMike) — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 14:44:00 +0000

The book of Revelation includes so many ridiculous and horrible prophesies, it's obvious that "St. John" was either consciously trying to scare people into submission or he was on some kind of psychedelic substance; or both.

To me, one of his most revealing claims is that the stars will fall to the earth. Of course at the time of his writing, people didn't know just how big and far away the stars really are. To them, they were just little lights in the sky. But if his "visions" where really coming from an omniscient god, wouldn't he have known?

Here are the verses in question:

Revelation 6:13 And the stars of heaven fell unto the earth, even as a fig tree casteth her untimely figs, when she is shaken of a mighty wind.

Revelation 8:10 And the third angel sounded, and there fell a great star from heaven, burning as it were a lamp, and it fell upon the third part of the rivers, and upon the fountains of waters;

Revelation 9:1 And the fifth angel sounded, and I saw a star fall from heaven unto the earth: and to him was given the key of the bottomless pit.

Revelation 12:4 And his tail drew the third part of the stars of heaven, and did cast them to the earth: and the dragon stood before the woman which was ready to be delivered, for to devour her child as soon as it was born.

Technorati Tags:
humor Atheist Bible Christian Comics New Testament Revelation St. John

Happy Friday!

docmike@sprintpcs.com (DocMike) — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 13:51:00 +0000

TZIF! Thank Zeus it's Friday! If christians can thank a mythical god for good things that happen and things that are inevitable (like Fridays), why can't Atheists do the same?

I think the christian god has had exclusive rights to Fridays for too long! It's time to dethrone him! So before some christian can recite their TGIF tag line, why not throw them a curve ball by thanking some other mythical character? I find it really freaks them out and often prompts some very interesting conversations...

Happy Friday, everyone!

Technorati Tags:
humor Atheist God Christian Comics

Scientific Breakthroughs from the Bible (Part I)

docmike@sprintpcs.com (DocMike) — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 16:14:00 +0000

Today's comic was inspired by a recent comment (to my last comic) on Ex-Christian.net. A christian poster made the statement, "There is much science in the Bible". To which, several ex-christian posters responded with various examples of scientific errors in the bible.

"... talking snakes and donkeys", "...riding chariots of fire into heaven", "...holding up a striped staff to copulating goats so they have striped kids", "... the classification of bats as birds", "Floating axe heads", "Walking on water", "Raising the dead", "Commanding the sun to stand still", "creation story", "firmament", etc.

The christian then posted links to websites that actually claim dinosaurs were mentioned in the book of Job and that they lived alongside humans! This is so preposterous that I can only laugh to keep from crying. I guess years of scientific discoveries and fossil evidence mean nothing!

Christians never cease to amaze me with their ability to live in a world so influenced (and enhanced) by science, and enjoy all of the modern conveniences of life that science has made possible, but at the same time reject science when it conflicts with what their ancient "holy book" says.

Teflon Deity

docmike@sprintpcs.com (DocMike) — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 14:09:00 +0000

In the wake of the tornadoes that recently ravaged the Southern US, I am once again amazed by the ability of Christians to justify and excuse their god for the evil in the world and praise him for the things that turn out positive. What's worse, they sometimes claim that their "omnipotent" god is not even responsible for the bad things!

"Thirteen were killed in Arkansas, seven in Kentucky, and five were killed in Alabama where some 500 homes were also destroyed. Tennessee was the hardest hit, with 34 killed and 230 citizens still unaccounted for in the poor, farming areas of Macon County near the Kentucky border."

Today's comic was inspired by a report on NPR, in the aftermath of the tornadoes. A woman being interviewed had survived (not in very good shape, mind you) her mobile home being destroyed around her. When the interviewer asked why she thinks she survived, she said, "God must have a plan for me." The very next question was about her husband who was killed in the storm. She replied, "Jesus took him home."

And that reminded me of a conversation I had with a christian friend right after hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans a few years ago. I asked, "How can your god kill and injure so many innocent people?" Her reply was, "You can't blame God for the weather."

Unbelievable!

Genesis 7:4 For yet seven days, and I will cause it to rain upon the earth forty days and forty nights; and every living substance that I have made will I destroy from off the face of the earth.

Deuteronomy 11:17 And [then] the LORD'S wrath be kindled against you, and he shut up the heaven, that there be no rain, and that the land yield not her fruit; and [lest] ye perish quickly from off the good land which the LORD giveth you.

Deuteronomy 28:24 The LORD shall make the rain of thy land powder and dust: from heaven shall it come down upon thee, until thou be destroyed.

1 Samuel 12:18 So Samuel called unto the LORD; and the LORD sent thunder and rain that day: and all the people greatly feared the LORD and Samuel.

Nahum 1:3 The LORD [is] slow to anger, and great in power, and will not at all acquit [the wicked]: the LORD hath his way in the whirlwind and in the storm, and the clouds [are] the dust of his feet.

Technorati Tags: humor Atheist Bible Christianity Comics disaster

Once a Baby-Killer...

docmike@sprintpcs.com (DocMike) — Tue, 12 Feb 2008 23:43:00 +0000

For some reason, pro-life Christians think their God is against abortion and baby-killing. I don't get it! There are lots of examples to the contrary in the Bible. I mean, who has killed more babies than the Christian God? Have you read these passages?

Hosea 13:16 Samaria shall become desolate; for she hath rebelled against her God: they shall fall by the sword: their infants shall be dashed in pieces, and their women with child shall be ripped up.

Exodus 12:29 "And it came to pass, that at midnight the LORD smote all the firstborn in the land of Egypt..."

2 Samuel 12:14 Howbeit, because by this deed thou hast given great occasion to the enemies of the LORD to blaspheme, the child also that is born unto thee shall surely die.

Isaiah 13:16 Their children also shall be dashed to pieces before their eyes; their houses shall be spoiled, and their wives ravished.

Isaiah 13:18 Their bows also shall dash the young men to pieces; and they shall have no pity on the fruit of the womb; their eyes shall not spare children.

Isaiah 14:21 Prepare slaughter for his children for the iniquity of their fathers; that they do not rise, nor possess the land, nor fill the face of the world with cities.

Numbers 31:17 Now therefore kill every male among the little ones, and kill every woman that hath known man by lying with him.

I ask you... How can Christians carry that book around and swear by it's contents, but have absolutely no fucking idea what it says? Amazing!!!

Technorati Tags:
humor Atheist Bible Christian Comics humor

On the off chance Huckabee wins...

docmike@sprintpcs.com (DocMike) — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 23:45:00 +0000

I've been thinking about what would happen if Mike Huckabee won the Presidency and really did change the Constitution to "God's Laws". One thing for sure, the rock business would get a big boost!

According to the Bible, God prescribes stoning for all kinds of offenses. Here are a few examples: (I actually copied this list from one of my favorite Atheist resources called, Dwindling In Unbelief. I hope Steve doesn't mind.)

1.	For touching Mount Sinai	Exodus 19:13
2.	For taking "accursed things"	Joshua 7:1-26
3.	For cursing or blaspheming	Leviticus 24:16
4.	For adultery (including urban rape victims who fail to scream loud enough)	Deuteronomy 22:23-24
5.	For animals (like an ox that gores a human)	Exodus 21:28
6.	For a woman who is not a virgin on her wedding night	Deuteronomy 22:13-21
7.	For worshipping other gods	Deuteronomy 17:2-5
8.	For preaching the wrong religion	Deuteronomy 13:5-10
9.	For disobeying parents	Deuteronomy 21:18-21
10.	For witches and wizards	Leviticus 20:27
11.	For giving your children to Molech	Leviticus 20:2
12.	For breaking the Sabbath	Numbers 15:32-56
13.	For cursing the king	1 Kings 21:10

One Nation Under Huck

docmike@sprintpcs.com (DocMike) — Sat, 19 Jan 2008 14:36:00 +0000

Mike Huckabee is a moron, but didn't he just say what the religious right has been thinking for years? They repeat in the media and in churches all over America that "we are a Christian nation," but they must know it's not true. Why else would they have to amend the Constitution?

It amazes me how many people born in the 1960s and later don't know that Eisenhower added "In God We Trust" to our money and "Under God" to our pledge. They just assume it's always been there. Heck, I'm in my 40s and I didn't know it until I broke away form the Christian cult and started reading history. Why don't they teach that in grade school?

I'm actually glad Huckabee showed his hand. It's about time the American people see the evangelicals for what they really are, a cult of power hungry control-freaks who want to impose their own sick belief system on the rest of the country and set civilization back about 2000 years!

I'm God, BEOCH!!!

docmike@sprintpcs.com (DocMike) — Sun, 13 Jan 2008 16:16:00 +0000

Attention Christians: Which God do you believe in? The one they talk about in church or the God described in the Bible? Many of you would be surprised to learn that they are not the same.
The God most Christians envision is a loving, caring, father-figure type of guy who is up in heaven watching over them and looking out for them. This is a far cry from the God of the Bible who rules by fear, kills anyone who rejects him, orders his followers to kill others, and demands worship.

Fear of God is mentioned often in the Bible. Here are some excerpts (found in your King James Bible and The Skeptic's Annotated Bible).

Updated: To save space, I cut the long list of Bible verses from this post. Instead, please see this link Should we fear God?

Technorati Tags:
humor Atheist Bible Christianity Comics fear

More Bible Jeopardy!

docmike@sprintpcs.com (DocMike) — Thu, 03 Jan 2008 15:01:00 +0000

There are so many inconsistencies and contradictions in the Bible, how can anyone take it seriously? Here's a nice example. What were Jesus' last words? Three books in the New Testament have three different answers.

Matthew 27:46 And about the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, saying, Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani? that is to say, My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?

Luke 23:46 And when Jesus had cried with a loud voice, he said, Father, into thy hands I commend my spirit: and having said thus, he gave up the ghost.

John 19:30 When Jesus therefore had received the vinegar, he said, It is finished: and he bowed his head, and gave up the ghost.

It's as if none of the New Testament authors were actually there (ha ha)...

For many more Bible contradictions, see the Skeptics Annotated Bible!

Genesis Family Values

docmike@sprintpcs.com (DocMike) — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 01:47:00 +0000

According to Christians, the story of Abraham and Isaac (from Genesis chapter 22) is a testament to Abraham's great love for God.

Basically, God ordered Abraham to kill his son, Isaac, and present him as a "Burnt Offering." So Abraham ties Isaac to a wooden alter (as instructed) and, knife in hand, gets ready to kill his son. Then, an angel stops him just in time and God let's him kill a ram instead.

What a horrible story!

What kind of "loving" god would order such a thing? It sounds more like something a gang member might have to do to prove his loyalty.

And what kind of father was Abraham? He was willing to kill his son in cold blood and burn him, without protest or even questioning God.

The real answer lies in verse 12. The angel says, "now I know that thou fearest God." The story is not about love, but fear! Like most of the Old Testamentt, the story is designed to scare people into submission to "Almighty God."

And what about poor Isaac? How fucked up would that kid be after his father tied him to an alter and raised a knife to kill him? I'm sure God kicked in for the therapy bills...

Here are the key passages:

Genesis 22:1 And it came to pass after these things, that God did tempt Abraham, and said unto him, Abraham: and he said, Behold, here I am.

22:2 And he said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.

22:6 And Abraham took the wood of the burnt offering, and laid it upon Isaac his son; and he took the fire in his hand, and a knife; and they went both of them together.

22:9 And they came to the place which God had told him of; and Abraham built an altar there, and laid the wood in order, and bound Isaac his son, and laid him on the altar upon the wood.

22:10 And Abraham stretched forth his hand, and took the knife to slay his son.

22:11 And the angel of the LORD called unto him out of heaven, and said, Abraham, Abraham: and he said, Here am I.

22:12 And he said, Lay not thine hand upon the lad, neither do thou any thing unto him: for now I know that thou fearest God, seeing thou hast not withheld thy son, thine only son from me.

Happy Holidays!

docmike@sprintpcs.com (DocMike) — Sat, 08 Dec 2007 00:48:00 +0000

I think we should tell kids the truth about God and Jesus at a very young age, but let them believe in Santa a little longer. He's a much better role model for kids! He's never smited anyone, killed any babies, wiped out every living thing on the planet, ordered people stoned to death, or any of that nonsense. He doesn't want to be worshiped, doesn't demand animal or human sacrifice, doesn't care if we're circumcised, and as far as I know he's never sent a single soul to Hell.

Let's put Santa back in xmas!

Happy Holidays!

Headline: God orders bears to kill mocking children. Film at 11:00

docmike@sprintpcs.com (DocMike) — Wed, 05 Dec 2007 21:05:00 +0000

Today’s comic was inspired by The 9 Most Badass Bible Verses on Cracked.com. Check it out, it's hilarious!

Anyway, Badass verse #8 refers to 2 Kings chapter 2, verses 23-24; the story of Elisha and the bears.

2 Kings 2:23 And he went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head.

2 Kings 2:24 And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the LORD. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them.

I wonder why they don’t teach this story in Sunday school…

This I Believe!

docmike@sprintpcs.com (DocMike) — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 23:55:00 +0000

It amazes me that so many otherwise intelligent people, who use reason in every other aspect of their lives, can believe the Christian dogma.

People who would never believe anything even remotely as far-fetched, somehow believe.

People who question the things they hear, see, and read everyday—and require concrete proof before making a judgment or decision—still somehow believe.

How can this be?

Technorati Tags: humor Atheist Bible Christianity Comics humor

Double Standard

docmike@sprintpcs.com (DocMike) — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 15:18:00 +0000

Just a comic today, folks...

Happy Thanksgiving!

docmike@sprintpcs.com (DocMike) — Tue, 20 Nov 2007 21:23:00 +0000

Every child in America knows the Thanksgiving story featuring the Pilgrims, who gave thanks to God and shared their bounty with the Indians on Plymouth Rock. What we don't teach them is how their beloved Pilgrims enslaved and murdered the indigenous people, brought disease and destruction to this land, and claimed ownership of everything in site; all in the name of God.

The Pilgrims were convinced they were "Ordained by God" to take possession of everything on the continent. In fact, they often sighted Bible verses to justify their horrible and murderous acts, such as:

Psalms 2:8. "Ask of me, and I shall give thee, the heathen for thine inheritance, and the uttermost parts of the earth for thy possession."

Romans 13:2, "Whosoever therefore resisteth the power, resisteth the ordinance of God: and they that resist shall receive to themselves damnation."

Leviticus 24:16 And he that blasphemeth the name of the LORD, he shall surely be put to death, and all the congregation shall certainly stone him: as well the stranger, as he that is born in the land, when he blasphemeth the name of the Lord, shall be put to death.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!!!

Technorati Tags: humor Atheist Bible Christianity Comics humor God Leviticus Psalms Romans

Perfect!

docmike@sprintpcs.com (DocMike) — Tue, 13 Nov 2007 13:43:00 +0000

I'm so tired of hearing the creationists say that the world is much too complex and perfect for it to have evolved without a creator.

Their favorite example is the human eye. First they say it's perfect, which begs the question: Why do so many people need glasses to see?

Then they say it's too complex to have evolved because, "Only a complete eye is useful." They claim that a partial eye wouldn't do anyone any good at all, so it couldn't have evolved based on its survival benefit.

As Michael Shermer points out in his book, "How We Believe", any form of light detection is better than none--lots of people are visually impaired from disease or injury. Do you think they consider what vision they do have to be better than none at all? I certainly would!

And as Richard Dawkins explains in "The Blind Watchmaker", 5% of an eye is better than no eye at all. Many animals have different levels of light sensitivity and sight. Each one uses that sense to survive.

Technorati Tags: Michael Shermer How We Believe Richard Dawkins The Blind Watchmaker evolution creationists

I believe, Brother!

docmike@sprintpcs.com (DocMike) — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 01:38:00 +0000

Christians love to say that America should be a christian nation because our forefathers were christians. Actually most of them were deists. But even if they were christians, is that reason enough for the country to follow their beliefs? After all, they also believed in lots of other antiquated ideas of their time that have since been debunked.

Should we start bloodletting and burning witches again? Should we roll back women's voting rights and reinstate slavery? Some believe we should, I guess, but I think most reasonable people will agree that we shouldn't run our country based on the ignorance of our ancestors just because they did some pretty amazing things when they formed this country.

Can't we follow the principles that still make sense today without turning our backs on rationality?

Technorati Tags: humor Atheist Bible Christianity Comics humor rationality

Let's play Bible Jeopardy!!!

docmike@sprintpcs.com (DocMike) — Sat, 20 Oct 2007 17:47:00 +0000

Christians like to depict their god as kind and loving. But Jeremiah obviously knew a different side of this wonderful, benevolent deity. The god Jeremiah wrote about was angry, vengeful, bitter, and downright ruthless! Here are some highlights:

11:11 Therefore thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will bring evil upon them, which they shall not be able to escape; and though they shall cry unto me, I will not hearken unto them.

11:14 Therefore pray not thou for this people, neither lift up a cry or prayer for them: for I will not hear them in the time that they cry unto me for their trouble.

15:3 And I will appoint over them four kinds, saith the LORD: the sword to slay, and the dogs to tear, and the fowls of the heaven, and the beasts of the earth, to devour and destroy.

15:14 And I will make thee to pass with thine enemies into a land which thou knowest not: for a fire is kindled in mine anger, which shall burn upon you.

19:3 And say, Hear ye the word of the LORD, O kings of Judah, and inhabitants of Jerusalem; Thus saith the LORD of hosts, the God of Israel; Behold, I will bring evil upon this place, the which whosoever heareth, his ears shall tingle.

19:7 And I will make void the counsel of Judah and Jerusalem in this place; and I will cause them to fall by the sword before their enemies, and by the hands of them that seek their lives: and their carcases will I give to be meat for the fowls of the heaven, and for the beasts of the earth.

19:9 And I will cause them to eat the flesh of their sons and the flesh of their daughters, and they shall eat every one the flesh of his friend in the siege and straitness, wherewith their enemies, and they that seek their lives, shall straiten them.

21:6 And I will smite the inhabitants of this city, both man and beast: they shall die of a great pestilence.

51:20 Thou art my battle axe and weapons of war: for with thee will I break in pieces the nations, and with thee will I destroy kingdoms;

51:21 And with thee will I break in pieces the horse and his rider; and with thee will I break in pieces the chariot and his rider;

51:22 With thee also will I break in pieces man and woman; and with thee will I break in pieces old and young; and with thee will I break in pieces the young man and the maid;

51:23 I will also break in pieces with thee the shepherd and his flock; and with thee will I break in pieces the husbandman and his yoke of oxen; and with thee will I break in pieces captains and rulers.

Technorati Tags: humor Atheist Bible Christianity Comics humor

Sticks & Stones will break your bones

docmike@sprintpcs.com (DocMike) — Tue, 14 Aug 2007 19:55:00 +0000

Here's a nice little Bible story for the kids. (Numbers 15:32-36) While the children of Israel were in the wilderness, they found a man gathering sticks on the sabbath day. They brought him to Moses who asked God what they should do with him. God said the congregation should stone the man to death. So they did as the Lord commanded.

So, apparently, the penalty for breaking the sabbath is death. In fact, the rule is spelled out in Exodus:

Exodus 31:15 Six days may work be done; but in the seventh is the sabbath of rest, holy to the LORD: whosoever doeth any work in the sabbath day, he shall surely be put to death.

And for the Christian apologists who claim that the New Testament waived the requirement that those who break the sabbath should be killed, here are the next two verses:

Exodus 31:16 Wherefore the children of Israel shall keep the sabbath, to observe the sabbath throughout their generations, for a perpetual covenant.

Exodus 31:17 It is a sign between me and the children of Israel for ever: for in six days the LORD made heaven and earth, and on the seventh day he rested, and was refreshed.

Don't "perpetual" and "for ever" mean forever? Or did eternity end when the NT was written? And if it does mean forever, why aren't Christians stoning each other in the streets?

It's an abomination! (For more on abominations, see my last post.)

Technorati Tags: humor Atheist Bible Christianity Comics humor New Testament

Abomination unto the LORD

docmike@sprintpcs.com (DocMike) — Wed, 08 Aug 2007 18:57:00 +0000

Christians love to quote Leviticus 18:22 to justify their hatred toward homosexuals. It says, "Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is an abomination."

But why do they focus so much attention on this one abomination when the Bible is chock full of them?

I don't see anyone getting all upset about women wearing pants. According to Deuteronomy 22:5, that's an abomination too. Where are the laws about that? Why is it still legal for women who wear pants to get married in America? Now that's an abomination! ;-)

Here are a few more things God says are abominations:

Graven images of gods (Deuteronomy 7:25)
Men who make any graven or molten image (Deuteronomy 27:15)
Sacrificing blemished or evilflavored sheep to God (Deuteronomy 7:1)
Wizards, witches, and people who speak to the dead (Deuteronomy 18:10-12)
Whores (Deuteronomy 23:17-18)
A woman who returns to her husband after he has sent her away (Deuteronomy 24:4)
Two sets of weights and measures (Proverbs 20:10)
A false balance (Proverbs 20:23)
The froward (stubbornly disobedient or contrary) (Proverbs 3:32)
Lying lips (Proverbs 12:22)
The sacrifice of the wicked (Proverbs 15:8)
The way of the wicked (Proverbs 15:9)
The thoughts of the wicked (Proverbs 15:26)
The proud of heart (Proverbs 16:5)
Those who justify the wicked or condemn the just (Proverbs 17:15)
That which is highly esteemed among men (Luke 16:15)
Whatsoever hath no fins nor scales in the waters (Leviticus 11:12)
All fowls that creep, going upon all four (Leviticus 11:20)
Every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth (Leviticus 11:41)

Technorati Tags: humor Atheist Bible Christianity Comics Leviticus