A little help from my friends: Bloom Where Ye Planted by Bella of The Citizen Rosebud originally appeared on By Anika Curvy fashionista. Self worth activist. Playful. Voulnerable. Strong. Budding designer. I am Anika on 29/01/2012.

 Hi Sweethearts!

No apologies. No pretence. No trying to airbrush my life. No trying to hide the lines on my face.

I am all grown up.

You know how they say that life never turns out the way you plan? You know how you think that applies to everyone but you, because you are different?

Right.

At nearly 33 I am in a completely different place in my life then I had imagined. Every action I have taken or not taken have led me to exactely where I am today. I wouldn`t have it any other way. 

I am ever discovering my own power. Letting it rip. Embracing my history, my vulnerability. Letting go of my truths about what I need in my life. Welcoming new fellow travellers into my life. Dreaming bigger.

Every lesson has been neccessary, welcomed. I carry every scar, every blessing, every perfect imperfection. I hold my self.

My heart is humble and overwhelmed with gratitude. This life is a gift.

I am just getting started.

Tell me my friends, do you feel all grown up?

 I would love to connect with you!

For the full impact of your wonderful comments go to #byanikareaders where I quote and share your best ones!

 anikack@gmail.com   @AnikaByAnika   Facebook

All grown up. originally appeared on By Anika Curvy fashionista. Self worth activist. Playful. Voulnerable. Strong. Budding designer. I am Anika on 18/01/2012.

Hi Sweethearts!

When was the last time you criticized your self? Took a hard look at your self and deemed your self under par? Allowed a negative inner monolouge about your self?

You know when the last time I critiziced my self was? So long ago that I can`t remember.  I have let go of my inner critic, you see. I don`t need her anymore.

I never think anything mean about my self anymore. I am never unkind towards my self anymore. The safety of holding my self back is not one that I need.

You know how I look at my self in the mirror?

Sometimes with a sigh. Sometimes with a wide grin. 

Always with absolute honesty. With kindness. With accountability. Without fear. With love.  

The outfit: H&M dress reworked by moi. Bling by H&M, Gina Tricot. Scarf by Zara.

 It`s like this. 

There is a lovely future out there for me to create. How am I going to accomplish anything if I am putting my self down?

Enough said.

‘Tell me, do you have the balls to let go of your inner critic?¨

 I would love to connect with you!

For the full impact of your wonderful comments go to #byanikareaders where I quote and share your best ones!

 anikack@gmail.com   @AnikaByAnika   Facebook

I don`t need her anymore. originally appeared on By Anika Curvy fashionista. Self worth activist. Playful. Voulnerable. Strong. Budding designer. I am Anika on 14/01/2012.

Hi Sweethearts!

The act of checking back into my self.

The act of infusing a moment with significance, with meaning, with drive.

The act of making a choice, not simply drifting into a place where the choice is made for me.  I am talking about actively seizing that moment. Reckognizing it. Feeling it. Grabbing a hold of it. Running with it.

I am Anika, and I just checked back in.

It is so good to see you. I love you.

How are you?

 I would love to connect with you!

For the full impact of your wonderful comments go to #byanikareaders where I quote and share your best ones!

 anikack@gmail.com   @AnikaByAnika   Facebook

Lost and found. originally appeared on By Anika Curvy fashionista. Self worth activist. Playful. Voulnerable. Strong. Budding designer. I am Anika on 07/01/2012.

Hi Sweethearts!

I call you sweethearts. My name means sweet face. We are sweet creatures.

Nurturing. Loving. Delicate. Lovely.

We know what is expected of us. We take on so many roles, some glady, others not so much. Always giving. Always happy to be generous, from the heart. Mostly.

Then there is this.

The  what can you do for me? The you think you can handle me? The yes, this time I`ll put my self first for a moment. Unapologetic. Raunchy. Direct. In control. Intens. Yes.

Not always pretty. Not always selfless. But also me. Also us.

I give thanks to every woman who came before me, on whose shoulders I stand as a woman today. I am free to be who I am. Vixen. Cutie pie. Business woman. Home maker. Fiercly independent. In need of a tender embrace. Full of life.

I am woman. Femme. Fatale that!

Tell me my friends, how do you embrace all the different parts of you?

 I would love to connect with you!

For the full impact of your wonderful comments go to #byanikareaders where I quote and share your best ones!

 anikack@gmail.com   @AnikaByAnika   Facebook

Femme Fatale. originally appeared on By Anika Curvy fashionista. Self worth activist. Playful. Voulnerable. Strong. Budding designer. I am Anika on 05/12/2011.

Hi Sweethearts!

If you met me as a teenager you would see me wearing skirts so long that they were dragging on the ground. I always felt uncomfortable with my legs. Later I would go all out and wear skirts that cover the knees. I know. But I felt naked doing it, exposed, you know?

I was always grateful to have legs that work, but there was all sorts of wrong with them. They were to fat. Too unattractive. Too curvy. I never thought I would enjoy showing them off. I never dreamed my chubby knees would be a part of me feeling hot.

There you go. I confess it. I feel hot. And I like my chubby knees. Hold the phone!

When the wind blows my skirt up I no longer fret to hold the skirt down. I let it travel further up than I used to. (Wait. What? Mum, stop reading.) Think Marilyn Monroe-moments, not full on flashing you-moments. It`s a fine line, I know. I`ll stop there.

The outfit: The dress and bolero (made from the same fabric that I used for my massive living room lamp) are my design. Bling is Forever 21 and H&M. Wegdes are Din Sko.

What is the lesson in my having chubby knees?

If you can`t (be bothered to) change what you`ve got then just get on with it and let it rip. I didn`t use to think that chubby legs are sexy, but I do now. Why? Because those are the knees I have got, so I might as well enjoy them.

Gusts of wind, please!

Tell me my friends, how do you feel about your gams?

 I would love to connect with you!

For the full impact of your wonderful comments go to #byanikareaders where I quote and share your best ones!

 anikack@gmail.com   @AnikaByAnika   Facebook

The lesson in chubby knees originally appeared on By Anika Curvy fashionista. Self worth activist. Playful. Voulnerable. Strong. Budding designer. I am Anika on 27/11/2011.

I’m Casee Marie, the editor behind The Girl Who Stole the Eiffel Tower, and I’m adopting Anika’s ever-memorable two-word introduction here in my guest post for a few reasons: because it encompasses the warmth we all anticipate with a ByAnika blog post, it’s familiar, but also because it reminds me of the positive ways Anika has influenced me and my life ever since I first landed on her blog so long ago.

It was called Sweetfaced Style then, but the blog – like its creator – has gone through changes over time. (And she’s still as sweet-faced as ever, I needn’t tell you that.) As life grows around us and as we grow within ourselves everything changes; it’s not always welcome, especially when we were comfortable and happy as we were, but without change how do we find those new, uncharted areas of our personalities to embrace?

I’ve changed a lot and I’ve observed, over time, the pieces of brilliance that together make up the art of living. I think it looks different to each of us, and that’s the whole point, but sometimes we live and grow and change so, so fast that we don’t always take the time to notice it. And there’s a void in your life when you haven’t yet understood your own special art of living; when you haven’t fully come to understand yourself. George Bernard Shaw said, “Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” and when you’ve done that, when you’ve finally starting putting together the pieces of your own beautiful little puzzle (it’s never too late, by the way) I think there begins to be a sense of illumination from deep down inside you.

That’s what I call joie de vivre. The joy of living.

I’ll express it to the world sometimes through what I wear – through fashion, sometimes through beauty, behavior, always with kindness – and most often through writing. There’s no wrong way to live when you’re living in true honesty with yourself and there’s no wrong road to take when you’re following your heart. When you combine those two ideals to your life you often find that you radiate empowerment as a result, and someone else is bound to pick up on it and follow your influence. It’s a wonderful process and I’m always motivated – particularly by Anika’s example – to be a part of it.

I met Anika for the first time a few months ago and I still smile when I remember her amazing energy.

While I am getting back on my feet I have reached out to some of my dear friends for help. I am honoured to feature Casee Marie and her post, the first guest writer on my blog ever. Thank you so much my darling Casee Marie for your friendship and for gracing By Anika with your post! I love you.

 

 

A little help from my friends: Casee Marie originally appeared on By Anika Curvy fashionista. Self worth activist. Playful. Voulnerable. Strong. Budding designer. I am Anika on 17/11/2011.

Hi Sweethearts!

As you know I am working my way back to my happy self, one day at a time, and one room in my new flat at a time. I am recharging, redefining, expressing my self, grounding my self within my self and in my new home. going at it determinedly.

I finished my living room yesterday, and looking at it one thing jumped out at me. I am no minimalist.

In fact, I am a maximalist, in my fashion, in my designs and in my life. When I love I do it with all of who I am. When I mix prints I don`t hold back.

This approach to life and style is not about taking the easy way out, but I have a secret weapon. I know that I can get away with it. And when I can`t, I can laugh about it.

Case in point:

Getting my heart broken.

Incredibly hard to deal with, but worth it.

Am I not going to dare to fall in love again? No way.

I have been blessed with the gift of being completely close, completely happy.

Buying the biggest lamp known to man.

I laughed so hard when I was assembeling it and realized just how bleedin massive it is that I nearly wet my self.

Was I going to admit defeit and return it? No way.

I took it to the next level instead by decorating it with some fabric. I nearly got the measurments right. I`ll fix it if I can be bothered. But I probably can`t be. I don`t need perfection.

Meanwhile, how`s this for daily affirmations:

                                                                                                                                                                       I`ll report back on that one.

Ps. The soft furnishings are mostly my design. Also, thank you so much for not giving up on me. I love you.

Tell me my friends, what is your approach to life?

 I would love to connect with you!

For the full impact of your wonderful comments go to #byanikareaders where I quote and share your best ones!

 anikack@gmail.com   @AnikaByAnika   Facebook

I am no minimalist. originally appeared on By Anika Curvy fashionista. Self worth activist. Playful. Voulnerable. Strong. Budding designer. I am Anika on 13/11/2011.

Hi Sweethearts!

At the heart of identifying as a self worth activist is the quest for freedom. The act of freeing our selves and defining our selves holds such power – it increases our dignity. It is all about living with a high degree of dignity, as defined by each and every one of us.

I can not advocate self worth without walking the walk the walk my self, and so, I keep seeking out fear in my life, facing it head on and letting go of it.

Neary a year ago I faced a really big fear of mine. Would I still be beautiful without my flowing locks?

One of the areas I haven`t dare to touch is my hair. I grew up receiving lots of compliments for my hair. Some of them were genuinely nice ones, others were harder to accept, like the times I was told that
“Well, at least you have good hair, or a handsome face, or good personality”.  Such comments left me with the impression that faced with a fat girl like me it was a relief for the other person to console us both that I may be fat, but at least I had beautiful locks. What ever the intention of the compliments, for most of my life I was so low on self worth that I deduced that the only thing about me that was worthy and lovely was my hair.

The first time I dyed my hair and it came out all black I had an anxeity attack. I knew then that I still had some work to do on redefining my self worth and idea about my own beauty. A few days ago when I was trimming my split ends with a pair of kitchen scissors (very bad of me I know) I got to thinking about this, and as I started cutting my hair I realized that it was only hair and that I would still be me, I would still be ok if I cut it short, nevermind that I am fat, nevermind that it might not come out ok, nevermind all that.

So I set off chopping, my self worth intact, simply playing around with my look. It might seem like a small thing, but for me it was a massive event. I am free of yet another preconceived notion about my self. Now I can look forward to my hair growing back and to enjoying my locks even more.

 

Nearly a year later my hair is all grown out.

My curls are still impossible to control,the Norwegian weather keeps having it`s way with my attempts to straighten my hair, and I love it. I`ll be honest, I am very glad to be on this side of my self imposed lesson.

I have learned that while I am able to feel good with out long hair, I prefer my locks glamorous. I do feel free tovary my hairstyles now, and often wear all my hair away from my face, not worrying about double chins and my grey hairs showing.

I learned that I am good enough, hair or no hair. That said, I won`t be cutting my hair again any time soon.

Now, if I could just figure out what to do with my god damned bangs!

Tell me my friends, can you relate?

Ps. If you are wondering if I am wearing an Urban Outfitters bag on my jacket in the first pic I can confirm that I indeed am. I decided my jacket by Kapp Ahl needed some oomph, so I split a bag in two and adorned the pockets with it, leaving me with one black pocket and one white one.

 I would love to connect with you!

For the full impact of your wonderful comments go to #byanikareaders where I quote and share your best ones!

 anikack@gmail.com   @AnikaByAnika   Facebook

On letting go of my locks – a year later originally appeared on By Anika Curvy fashionista. Self worth activist. Playful. Voulnerable. Strong. Budding designer. I am Anika on 06/11/2011.

Hi Sweethearts!

I am as beautiful at any given time as I perceive my self to be, you know?

Over the last months I have lost a lot of weight, to the point where people have started adressing it, as apposed to asking me if I have done something different with my hair (um, yes, it looks bigger in relation to my lovely butt than it used to).

I have it found it very interesting to observe what comments I have received and my own reaction to the feedback.

Some people have been worried about my weight loss, asking if it is due to stress. They are totally on point, I haven`t tried to loose any, it simply happened. Some feel that I am more beautiful now that I am slimmer, others feel the opposite.

As for me? I have found that the comments don`t really affect me at all, not the positive ones, not the negative ones.

The thing is, I think that I am beautiful – regardless of being able to cross my legs sitting down or not. I am not perfect, but I am perfectly me.

Before I lost the weight I had already broken through my personal sound barrier, I had accepted and grown to love my body, just the way it is, with all of it`s imperfect perfections. I was already wearing colours and prints to my heart`s desire. I was happy with my looks. I didn`t have a need to loose weight, and now that I have I don`t feel any less va va voom.

My weight may vary. People`s perception of my external beauty may change. My own truth about my beauty is constant.

I stopped hiding a long time ago. If you squint a little you can still see me.

The outfit: I sewed this dress this morning, using some cotton fabric and part of an H&M-dress. The bolero is a Zara scarf that I reworked. The bling is Gina Tricot and a bag strap. The wegdes are Vagabond.

Tell me my friends, how do you deal with attention to your looks? How do you perceive your own beauty?

 I would love to connect with you!

For the full impact of your wonderful comments go to #byanikareaders where I quote and share your best ones!

 anikack@gmail.com   @AnikaByAnika   Facebook

Imperfectly perfectly me originally appeared on By Anika Curvy fashionista. Self worth activist. Playful. Voulnerable. Strong. Budding designer. I am Anika on 22/10/2011.