Cultural Compulsive Disorder

Master Sardus Archive Vol #4: The Weird & Wild World of Al Adamson

2022-06-08T14:48:00.006-04:00

One of the key elements to the explosion of the drive-in culture of the 1950’s-70’s was the fact that these places offered something for everyone. Not only could the Drive-In theater provide a one stop family entertainment destination, it could also provide the perfect location to hang with some friends or spend some romantic times with a significant other. Very few entertainment venues can check off all those boxes at once. The key to being able to service all these different demographics comes down to one simple concept: VARIETY!

This was a fact that many film producers at this time recognized, creating the “independent” film company explosion. People like Roger Corman led the charge of the noveau filmmakers/producers that were looking to make movies cheap and fast to meet demand. Genre films exploded during this time, since they provided cheap alternative storylines compared to expensive Hollywood films loaded with expensive sets and talent. These companies employed unknown filmmakers and actors to keep costs low. It was a win/win for everyone involved since these low budget genre features were allowing the next generation to cut their teeth in low-risk endeavors.

Out of this era we see the emergence of Al Adamson. Much like his contemporaries of the time, Adamson realized the potential of the genre drive-in fare that was so popular at the time. Low risk, high reward projects that allowed for creativity to shine through… this was the hallmark of this era. It was also the era of building hype through great titles, popular casting, and excellent posters. These elements were the key since most genre films never truly match the hype of their marketing materials. Corman and Adamson became the kings of this idea, riding the wave through the 60’s and into the 70’s with great fury.

Adamson’s calling card is simple: Make people want to see the film through amazing poster art, great young stars in the cast and hype. By the time the film came out, it was already a can’t miss event. Everyone was so stoked to see it that they never actually minded when the product itself was low budget and terrible. As a matter of fact, the more schlocky these films were, the more popular they became! For the younger generation of fans these films became a can’t miss event, with the Drive-In serving as the grand oasis for them to congregate at.

Adamson was one of the kings in this era, mostly since there was not really any film he wouldn’t make. He came up in the industry working for his dad in the western genre and witnessed firsthand how popular genre films could be. He partnered with another young film distributor, Sam Sherman, to start Independent-International Pictures. This company became the distributor for all his films, including such legendary works as “Blood of Ghastly Horror”, “Satan’s Sadists”, “Horror of the Blood Monsters” and “Dracula vs Frankenstein” (my personal favorite film of his).

What makes an Adamson film unique is the fact that they all share some interesting commonalities that define his style. Rock music is always on full display alongside trendy clothing of the era. Adamson was very much in tune to the younger crowd and never passed up an opportunity to include the newest trends into his work. Adamson also loved the ladies, making sure that his films were LOADED with a bevy of gorgeous females that the audience would certainly remember. Finally, Adamson was never afraid to push the envelope on what was acceptable or expected at the time. Al new that if he pushed boundaries people would always be talking about his films, although they were generally not very good.

One of the ways Adamson created this was through the employ of his own personal stable of regulars. These character actors would pop up in Adamson’s films through the years, providing the crowds with familiar faces to recognize anytime they were taking in an Adamson feature. Two of these regulars were the legendary old Hollywood icon John Carradine and a young Russ Tamblyn. Carradine would make quite a second act to his illustrious film career by becoming an exploitation era icon. He would go on to make a bunch of films with Adamson as well as reestablish himself as staple in the horror genre during the 70’s & 80’s. Tamblyn would go on to have a 60+ year career as a character actor, but his most well-known role would be the real life one of dad. His daughter, Amber Tamblyn, is a popular actress in Hollywood today.

As far as Adamson’s work goes, the man is the quintessential exploitation filmmaker. He always churned out cheap films that looked much better than the cost should have allowed. These films were always outshined by their excellent trailers, use of music and excellent posters. One time he contracted comic book legend Neal Adams to draw the film poster for one of his features (Horror of the Blood Monsters). The result was an amazing poster for a pretty shitty film. But by the time the audience found that out their money had already been tendered at the ticket booth. Since Adamson always delivered on the over-the-top nature of genre exploitation films, people were happy to be duped again when his next film came out.

All in all, Adamson directed 33 feature films. He traversed the topic train with great expertise, always looking to genre bend whenever possible. Many of his films start out as one thing and end up being something different. “Blood of a Ghastly Horror” (1971) starts out as a crime film, but by the end we are in full fledged zombie mode… with a stop at the science fiction station in the middle. “Horror of the Blood Monsters” (1970) jumps around genres as well, featuring sci-fi elements (time & space travel) as well as vampirism (horror) and Caveman/Dinosaurs settings as well. A little something for EVERYONE!

Technically Adamson was creative in how he hid the cheapness of his productions. His creativity allowed him to improve his bare bones features with slight gimmicks that pay off as creative gold. Adamson would tint film stock, having the movie change color numerous times to convey a different mood or setting. This would also hide how cheap the effects were. He also wasn’t afraid to go to the well in including popular sub-genre fare into his films even if they were not the primary subject. “Dracula vs Frankenstein” (1971) is obviously drawing on the classic monster tales of Stoker and Shelley… but it is also set in swinging Venice, California and features a heavy does of hippie/biker culture subtext. This allows Adamson to modernize these gothic monster tales and make them more appealing to the younger audience.

Later in the 70’s Adamson would make his mark on another sub-genre, Blaxploitation films. “The Dynamite Brothers” (1974) is a classic odd couple story, pairing Stud (Timothy Brown) and Larry (Alan Tang) as an unlikely pairing of kung fu fighting heroes. This was not the first time that duos of different nationalities were paired together in a film, but it is hard to watch future movies like the Rush Hour franchise (featuring Chris Tucker and Jackie Chan) and not see the influence. “Black Samurai” (1977) features the great Jim Kelly in the titular role. Hot off the success of Enter the Dragon/Black Belt Jones/Three the Hard Way, Kelly is a bad motherfucker in this awesome martial arts masterpiece. The next year Adamson and Kelly would reteam for “Death Dimension” (1978), which was billed as “The only film that James Bond himself would go see!’. This kind of marketing, and the inclusion of a past Bond (George Lazenby) in the cast, was enough to make the film more well-known than it deserved to be. That was the magic of Adamson. No matter how bad the films might have ended up, you were made to think you were walking into a cinematic masterpiece of epic proportions!

In the end the most ironic thing about Al Adamson was the way he died. In a story reminiscent of one of his exploitation films, Adamson was murdered by his contractor. The men had a dispute over money and Adamson ended up dead. The contractor, Fred Fulford, then buried Adamson under the floor of the house that he was working on. He poured cement and laid tile over the body, concealing the ghastly murder while the search for Adamson continued. His housekeeper noticed the new work and the absence of a hot tub that used to be in that room, so she tipped off the cops as this could be the possible location of Adamson’s corpse. When they broke up the floor and discovered his corpse Fulford was immediately arrested. This bizarre true crime story seems like it was pulled right out of a 70’s exploitation spec script. The documentary film “The Reel Life & Ghastly Death of Al Adamson” (2019) is an excellent film that details Adamson’s colorful career as untimely death.

Thankfully we have Adamson’s large body of work to remember him by. An excellent blu-ray box set was released by Severin films in 2019 featuring 31 out of 33 Adamson features. The documentary about his death is also featured along with a large book detailing his work. This will help bring Adamson’s work to a whole new generation of fans who have never attended a Drive-In once in their life. This may not be the way Al Adamson initially gained prominence in the film making world, but at least it keeps his work in the public conscious. The appreciation of exploitation and genre films of the 50-70s continues to grow more and more, immortalizing the innovators of the era like Adamson for all time. I am sure that puts a smile on his face wherever he may be.

(Originally Published in All We Need Is Sleeze: The Sleeze City Drive-In issue published in June 2022)

Master Sardus Archive Vol #3: Heavy Metal Horrors

2022-04-15T14:31:00.001-04:00

Music and movies have a long-standing relationship, playing an integral part in each other’s development from the early days of cinema. This is exceptionally true when it comes to horror movies since music is an excellent method to accentuate a mood shift or sudden scare that is often a key component of horror cinema. Heavy Metal and Hard Rock n Roll have carved out a niche of being the ‘go-to” music of this film genre. It might be the blaring guitar riffs, the pulsating drums or the high pitch wails of the front man singing his lyrics… but whatever it is, Heavy Metal/Hard Rock & Horror seem to go HAND IN HAND!

One of my earliest memories of this marriage must be Wes Craven’s Shocker (1989). This is probably due to that fact that all though I was only 10 years old in 1989 I owned this soundtrack on vinyl. It is loaded with top tier Heavy Metal/Hard Rock talent, including luminaries such as Alice Cooper/Iggy Pop/Megadeath and the super group The Dudes of Wrath. This group was made up Paul Stanley (Kiss), Rudy Sarzo (Whitesnake), Michael Anthony (Van Halen) and Tommy Lee (Motley Crue) as well as some other well known hard rock musicians. They contributed three songs to the project, including the title track “Shocker” which serves as an autobiography of the maniac killer Horace Pinker in the movie. The true highlight is Megadeath’s cover of “No More Mr. Nice Guy” … a song that really fits when it appears in the film!

Another rock related horror classic is the VHS mom and pop store rental fave Neon Maniacs (1986). This movie is utterly ridiculous in almost every way imaginable. It is totally cliched and paints an unfortunate imagine of the rock scene on the West Coast in 1986. Yet it does have some redeeming qualities. The “maniacs” in the film feature some well designed themed characters like Axe, Hangman, Juice, and Soldier. Don’t let the names fool you… these are killing machines! The heavy metal/hard rock connection comes in the 3^rd act of the film, which is set against the backdrop of a local “Battle of the Bands” competition. This is where we see an epic battle between main character Steven’s pop rock band “The Outlaws” square off against the hair metal rockers known as “Jaded” … but also, we get the final setting for the end all, be all battle between Cali teens and Maniacs. B movie magic with a Rock n Roll backdrop.

Finally, a more recent entry into the Hard Rock Horror categories must be Green Room (2015). One of the biggest components of rock music is the live show. It has been and always will be the life blood of this musical genre. At these live show venues, we often have a Green Room, which is effectively a backstage waiting area for a band who is playing to hang before they jump on stage. Not every person/band that is on the heavy metal scene is 100% “about the lifestyle”. They are not all anarchists’ nihilists looking to do damage in the name of Satan. Sometimes they just wanna play music fast & loud… but also be normal. So, what happens when one of these straight edge music first bands happens to witness a murder in the backstage are by Neo-Nazi’s who run this venue? Will they be allowed to leave, or will they become victims themselves? A great cast (Anton Yelchin in one of his best roles, Patrick Stewart playing very against type as a Neo-Nazi gang leader) that is constantly being bombarded with violence and super sonic sound… this movie is the quintessential “Rock and Roll Horror Movie” across the board.

Honorable Mentions: Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975), Black Roses (1988), Mandy (2018) and Queen of the Damned (2002). They all feature some great Rock n Roll/Heavy Metal numbers quite intricate to their overall aesthetic.

Master Sardus Archive Vol #2: Rotten Romances

2022-02-14T13:56:00.001-05:00

As much as the horror genre relies on blood & guts to establish tone, at its core the whole genre really is built on relationships. All different kinds of relationships are abundant in horror; killer vs victim, familial relationships (parents, siblings, etc), and of course romantic relationships. These relationships are what make the tales of horror compelling. They build stakes into the violence, with actions and reactions taken throughout the story based on the feelings those relationships induce. This is especially true of the romantic relationships in horror. Romantic relationships in horror run the gamut; it could be the reason that the killer is attacking someone, or the reason why someone is looking to foil the killer out of revenge! Incest, obsession, devotion… a little something for everyone!

There have been many wacky romantic relationships throughout horror movie history, and in honor of Valentine’s Day, here are the top 14 Rotten Romances of horror movie history!( I even included a few bonus picks, just in case you can’t get enough.) Here’s to love; may Cupid’s arrow hit you... right between the eyes!

Note: These movie overviews contain spoilers! Read at your own risk, or skip the bits for the movies you may not have seen! Fair warning!

1) Jack and Wendy Torrance – 'The Shining' (1980):

This is a perfect place to start our list, considering The Shining is one of the most popular horror movies ever made. Despite its popularity overall, the relationship between the two parental characters in the movie might be slightly OVERLOOKED (see what I did there… hehehe). The bottom line is that Jack and Wendy are in a broken marriage, desperately looking for a fresh start anywhere they could find one. This (and a quiet place to write) is why Jack even entertains the winter caretaker job at the desolate resort hotel. Wendy is looking for any possible redeeming quality in Jack she could find to justify staying with him in the interest of their young son Danny. This job in the middle of nowhere- by themselves for the winter is proof that this is probably, in her eyes, the last chance she is going to have at mending their marriage.

Once Jack begins his descent into madness, the obvious first target is going to be Wendy. The spirits of the Overlook desperately want to corrupt Jack’s mind and trick him into murdering his family to join the ranks of all the people that have been overcome by the spirits through the years. His only adult obstacle at the hotel is dear ol' Wendy. However, we should never underestimate a mother protecting her child. So despite Jack’s violent outbursts and attempts at slaughtering his family, Wendy maintains enough composure to navigate herself and Danny to safety. In spite of that success, Wendy has to live with the guilt that giving her fuck-up husband “one more chance” led them into this situation at the hotel in the first place… not the easiest thing to deal with, even as a survivor.

2) Fred and Jane –' Macabro' aka' Macabre' (1980)

Extra-marital affairs are nothing extraordinary in cinema, often providing a compelling baseline for the plot to many a movie. But this is Lamberto Bava… so it can’t simply be “an affair”. Fred and Jane are carrying on a torrid relationship behind the back of Jane’s family. Her husband and kids have no idea that mommy is rendezvousing with her side piece daily at a local boarding house. Jane becomes so consumed with Fred that she begins to ignore her motherly responsibilities. It is also causing her teenage daughter Lucy to become oddly suspicious, thus acting out. On one occasion she is tasked with watching her younger brother while mommy goes to get hers. Enraged, Lucy drowns her brother Michael and makes it look like an accident. Jane gets the call and immediately asks Fred to drive her home, but they have a terrible accident that leaves Fred decapitated. Losing her son and lover simultaneously, Jane leaves her family and goes off the deep end.

The funny part is that where it STARTS to get weird. Apparently Jane is still having a relationship with her dead lover… she can be heard moaning and calling out his name. Her landlord suspects something is off with Jane, as does her daughter Lucy. But she seems to be carrying on pretty normally in her newly single life. So both of them probe for more information, constantly finding clues that Fred may actually be around. Seems as if Jane is still having a relationship with Fred, albeit an unconventional one. That doesn’t stop her from loving his decapitated head as if everything is totally normal! This movie has one of the greatest 3^rd act reveals ever (even if it is slightly spoiled by cover/poster art. Be warned!). Love always finds a way…

3) Eli and Hakan – 'Let the Right One In' (2008)

Not all relationships are born strictly out of sexual desire. Some are created out of opportunity and necessity. This is certainly the case between Eli (a thirteen year old female vampire) and Hakan (a man in his 50s). Eli may SEEM like a petite teen incapable of defending herself, but she is actually a killing machine trapped in the body of a teenager. This would definitely make life difficult to navigate alone, especially over the many years of immortality lying ahead for Eli. So she needs to “recruit” a suitable companion, someone who is willing to serve as her adult guardian and can carry out tasks she is incapable of.

Finding someone to fill this role can’t be an easy task. They have to be ok with the whole idea of making believe that Eli is their daughter, while also being ok with her feeding habits. Enter Hakan, who is especially qualified for the job due to the fact that he is a pedophile! It is implied that Hakan has been with Eli for quite a while, filling the role as guardian/father/grandfather over the years while Eli stays the same age. Hakan's motivation may be the fact that he lusts after the young girl, even if she is a killer who could dispatch him in a moment’s notice. Eli uses this fact to her advantage, assuring Hakan’s loyalty in return for financial compensating him (being a convicted pedophile, job opportunities may be few and far between!) The prospect of eternal life, being around a young girl, AND being taken care of monetarily makes Hakan’s choice a simple one. He is loyal to Eli to the end… and who is going to fill that role once he is gone? Not a traditional relationship but one that is understandable when you get past the questionable ethics of it all.

4) Aoyama & Asami – 'Audition' (1999)

May-December relationships have been around as long as men and women have desired each other. The idea that ‘age is not important” is a constant, especially regarding older men dating younger women. There is nothing that controversial to this kind of relationship… unless you turn Takashi Miike loose on it!

Miike is known for his controversial movies that feature ultraviolence and explicit gore. So when we meet sad sack widower Aoyama, who is stuck going through life missing his dead wife, we instantly feel compassion for him. Urged by his own son and his flashy movie-producing friend Yoshikawa to find a new companion, Aoyama is not very enthusiastic about the idea. After all, who would want a guy as old as him with all this emotional baggage? Yoshikawa comes up with the idea of holding a casting call to find Aoyama his new mate. They will put feelers out to tons of young, attractive actresses and maybe one of them will score the "part" as Aoyama’s new love interest. Initially, the experiment seems to be a failure, until we meet the meek and subtly beautiful Asami. She is interested in Aoyama despite being much younger, and agrees to begin seeing him. Very mysterious, none of her qualifications or information on her resume seem to check out. Hmmm. But, despite these red flags, Aoyama still pushes forward because of how desperate he is for companionship.

On a trip to his house, Asami sees a picture of his long-dead wife and it enrages her. She is someone who loves deeply and absolutely… there is only room for HER in Aoyama’s life. What unfolds next is some of the wildest body horror and torture porn of the last 30 years. Will he learn to see it the same way as her, or will he face her jealous wrath forever? This is Miike, so either fate will probably involve some pain.

5) Frank & Anna - 'Maniac' (1980)

Few films capture the lunacy of a killer as well as William Lustig’s Maniac does. Frank Zito is a brutal killer, completely unhinged from reality and unapologetic about seeing his urge to kill out on a nightly basis. This is not someone conflicted over the idea of taking lives. On the contrary, he seems to relish it. Frank prowls the grimy streets of old New York City looking to relieve the world of any beauty that exists in it. Should you happen to cross paths with him and fit that profile, it is sure to be a long (and probably painful) evening for you. Until he meets up with Anna… one random meeting changes his impulsively violent behavior on a dime.

Astounded that he can resist his normal urges to kill when it comes to Anna, he takes her out for a date. They talk about his mom and visit her grave in the hopes of connecting on a deeper level… but this just sets Frank off into one of his violent fits. He attacks Anna and luckily she escapes, but Frank is in full freak-out mode. Anna definitely gets off lucky… for now. You never know how crazy someone could be until you start that relationship.

6) Seth & Ronnie - 'The Fly' (1986)

Love is a powerful thing, one that can overcome many obstacles. When two people are in love they can find a way to get past things like distance, infidelities, and even betrayal. But would two lovers be able to find a way to make it work if one of them transformed themselves into an insect? Leave it to David Cronenberg to try and answer that question!

The relationship is plagued with trust issues… and not the typical ones. Seth is obsessed with pushing the limits of his scientific experiments, completely disregarding the pleas of his helpless girlfriend Ronnie. When she outright refuses to be complacent in his experimental procedures, he procures another female to take her place. In spite of all this absurd behavior, Ronnie still loves Seth. What she doesn’t know is that Seth wants to fuse his transforming body with hers (and their unborn child's) to create the ULTIMATE FAMILY! This is truly terrifying because Seth wants to give Ronnie the relationship she wants, but only under his bizarre scientific terms. Not exactly a cookie-cutter family existence.

7) Julia and Frank –' Hellraiser' (1987)

Evil people need love too. Hellraiser is proof of that. Clive Barker’s adaptation of his novella, The Hellbound Heart, illustrates that no matter how bad people may be, they desperately need relationships just like the rest of us. They need companionship, they need people to depend on, and most importantly they need someone who is physically fit to procure victims for them to murder when they're a skinless corpse making their way back from hell. You know… your basic relationship stuff!

Julia is the worst kind of wife humanly possible. She is an awful stepmother to Kirsty, mistreating the girl at every chance she gets. She banged her husband Larry’s brother Frank before their wedding, which on its own is pretty awful. But when Frank reappears as a skinless corpse after a stay in Hell with the Cenobites, Julia immediately is smitten with her former lover, becoming his accomplice. They begin murdering people and letting Frank drain them of their blood, restoring his physical appearance along the way. Julia does this so that Frank will take her with him, away from the boring suburban housewife role she is stuck in. There is only one problem; Frank is a hedonistic murderer who has escaped from Hell! Is this the kinda guy you WANT to end up with? "Damaged" doesn’t even begin to describe this relationship!

8) Mickey & Mallory – 'Natural Born Killers' (1994)

Destiny is a funny thing. When you believe in predestination as a concept, you are acknowledging that no matter what the circumstances, the results will be the same. That outcome is inevitable… there is no avoiding it. This is the story with Mickey & Mallory, America’s favorite spree killers in the Tarantino-scripted/Stone-directed opus. These two maniacs come from vastly different situations in life, yet find some sort of solace in each other. The synergy that is created is amazing for them… and terrible for pretty much everyone else they encounter on their cross-country trip.

Murder, torture, robbery and much more are on tap for the duo. There is nothing that could stop the storm of this combined force. Even after they are incarcerated, they find a way to generate a shit storm of chaos that ultimately results in their bloody reunion. Death seems to be the only thing that can keep these two star-crossed lovers apart, and even that may not be the case. There is a special place for this couple in Hell based on their “accomplishments” during their short time on the road.

9) J.D. & Veronica - 'Heathers' (1989)

Teen films in the 1980’s painted a rosy picture of kids coming of age during the Reagan era. Even the films that did tackle the “wrong side of the tracks” tropes (The Breakfast Club, Stand By Me ) usually end up with relatively happy endings. So why not create a film that shows the other side of teenage life: the clinically depressed, less-than-popular kids dealing with the torturous trappings of high school? Heathers does just that, and uses the characters of J.D. & Veronica to highlight both sides of the disenfranchised.

The couple are quite different, yet have the same ideas about conventional teen life at their high school. Veronica is one of cool kids, but she hates everything about that lifestyle. She misses the old days when she was friends with less popular kids and had no pressure to conform to her popular friends behaviors. J.D. is a recent transfer, and he is the typical rebel without a cause. He stands up to the local jock bully and is immediately on Veronica’s radar. As the two begin to spark a romance, they bond over sticking it to the ruling class of popular kids. But when J.D. starts to cross the line to murder (set up to look like suicides) will Veronica join him as his accomplice? Sometimes you have to be careful of the relationship you wish for, because you just may get it… and the murders that come along, as well!

10) Sidney & Billy – 'Scream' (1996)

There are many motivations for starting a romantic relationship, but revenge usually isn’t one of them. Seems kind of contrary to the whole idea of bonding with someone intimately. Yet this is the case for Sidney & Billy of the original Scream film, two people brought together by sinister events.

On the surface Sid and Billy’s relationship seems above boards; typical teenage movie tropes shows them carrying on a sensual and loving relationship. But with the one year anniversary of her mother's murder approaching, a new killer resurfaces in her town, committing horrible crimes while contacting/taunting Sidney. At first she suspects Billy may be tangled up with the killings, but this fear is put to rest pretty quickly. Billy becomes Sidney’s symbol of protection against the possible murderer, offering her someone she can depend on to watch her back. But sometimes you have to go with your gut. Not only is Billy the murderer, but he has other dark connections to Sidney that tie all the way back to her dead mother. Maybe she should have listened to her heart when she suspected Billy, but now it’s far too late for that. Sidney… meet Ghostface.

11) Clarice & Hannibal – 'Silence of the Lambs' (1994)

As I've mentioned previously, not all relationships are completely rooted in romance. Mentorship and companionship are also reasons why two people find themselves enjoying the benefits of an entanglement. Both of these things play a key role in the relationship between Special Agent Clarice Starling & serial killer Dr. Hannibal “The Cannibal” Lecter. Clarice is a young cadet making her way through the FBI academy. She has a bright future, but relatively no practical experience. Lecter is serving 100s of years in prison for the brutal cannibal murders he was convicted of. He may be imprisoned, but he is a free spirit and yearns to rejoin civilized society again someday.

Clarice is chosen by her superior to approach Hannibal to help the FBI with another high profile serial killer case currently going on. It is believe the good doctor's expertise on the killer's psychology could be useful, and hopes to motivate him through offers of special privileges for his cooperation. Lecter sees through the ruse and will help Clarice, but not because the FBI wants him too. He helps her so he can reconnect with another capable human being. As someone he respects, Clarice represents hope for the doctor that he will not spend the rest of his remaining days talking to the cum-throwing" Multiple" Miggs in the next cell, or the smarmy shit heel head of his prison section, Dr. Chilton. Not realizing what they are doing for each other, this relationship blossoms into something much more than either one of them could have expected.

12) Alex & Marie –' High Tension' (2003)

European sensibilities are quite different than their American counterparts. This is especially true when it comes to romantic pairings. Europeans were light years ahead of accepting non-traditional relationships. That is kind of what makes the complex relationship between Alex & Marie in High Tension special. It is not just a simple friendship, there is clearly something deeper there.

Marie is visiting Alex’s family's house over some sort of holiday break. The family welcomes her and she seems happy to be there. But on the very first night of her stay, there is a random ring of the doorbell. Alex’s dad answers, and is met with one of the most brutal murders in cinematic history at the hands of an unidentified killer! Witnessing this from the top of the stairs, Marie prepares to try and save her friend's family from the same fate. Marie loves Alex and does not want to see her die, so she goes above and beyond to figure out a way to stop this maniac killer, putting herself in danger (as well as getting herself severely injured along the way). The things we do for love, even if it is harbored in secret.

13) Evan & Louise – 'Spring' (2014)

Love is a funny thing and you never know where you are going to find it. When we run away from one complicated situation, we might be heading right into a completely different one. Evan is getting into trouble and being a knucklehead back in his hometown as a result of losing his mother to cancer. After getting into a fight and losing his job, he takes a friend's advice to try traveling a bit in the hopes of finding a new path. On a whim, Evan choses to try out Italy. Upon his arrival, he sees a beautiful young lady. Wanting to know more about the mysterious woman, Evan decides to stay in the small village she's from in hopes of crossing paths with her again. He takes a job at a small farm, and after a few brushes with the woman, he finally works up the courage to talk with her... and it results in a torrid night of sex. But Louise has a secret, and she leaves before Evan wakes in the morning.

Evan is fascinated by the mysterious girl and continues to pursue her, even though she begs him not to. They begin to grow and converse more, sharing more and more details of their lives. But Louise keeps having these instances where she leaves frantically at the drop of a dime, raising concern in Evan. But Louise’s secret is much worse than drugs or a boyfriend… she is actually a 2000 year old Lovecraftian-type monster who mutates every 20 years to stay alive! Torn between what is due to happen any day and her budding romance with Evan, Louise has a very tough choice to make. Love is tough for everyone, even monsters who might eat their current mates.

14) Henry & Becky – 'Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer' (1986)

The final spot on our Rotten Relationships goes to one that is born out of perversity and horrible circumstances. You can’t choose your family. You also can’t chose who your family associates with. Unfortunately you may have to interact with both of those groups as you try to live your life. This is the case for poor Becky, sister to a disgraced criminal named Otis. Otis is a piece of shit petty criminal, and he lives with another criminal that he met in jail named Henry. There is one major difference between these two former inmates; Otis is a small potatoes crook, while Henry is a psychotic serial killer with dozens of kills (including his own mom) under his belt. Perfect group of guys to move in with to save some money, huh?

Henry takes an immediate liking to Becky, and she does to him as well. The odd man out is Otis. Otis & Henry develop a bond over murdering strangers, while Becky & Henry begin embarking on their own romantic endeavor. This makes Otis kind of jealous due to the fact that he has some incestuous designs on his younger sister, much to Henry’s displeasure. Will this lead to more bloodshed or will this unlikely familial unit find a way to live happily ever after?

(Originally Published in All We Need Is Sleeze: Black BAAD ASSSS Sleeze issue from February 2022)

Master Sardus Archive Vol #1: Christmas With The Creeps

2021-12-15T20:22:00.005-05:00

Welcome to a special holiday horror edition of Master Sardus Archive. My name's Mike D and I will be your guide on this journey into celluloid depravity. Hope you sharpened your candy canes and your tree trimming shears… this is going to be a wild ride!

First up we have one of the wildest holiday movies ever made. Australia is known for their unique weirdness and Red Christmas (2016) does not disappoint. When your movies opens with a botched abortion and immediately trasitions to a good old fashion family Christmas get together you know that you are in for an interesting trip. Scream Queen Dee Wallace plays the matriarch of this group, providing some gravitas to this quirky little film. Once “Cletus” shows up to meet his long lost family in his long black cloak covering every inch of his body you get the sense there is no way this is going to go well. Brutal murders and mayhem ensues… a true Christmas Miracle! (Peacock, Pluto TV, Tubi)

Alternate histories about the origins of Christmas are nothing new, especially in the realm of horror films. There have been dozens of films that take the Santa Claus mythos and turn it on its side. Sint (2010) takes this well known story and turns it into a razor sharp yule log of death, challenging the viewer to watch their beloved “Saint Nick” commit all kinds of heinous acts alongside his murderous gang of crooks. Legendary Dutch director Dick Maas proves once again that there is no depth to depravity in the Netherlands. (VOD rental only)

Finally we will finish off with a true sleazefest of holiday fun. Christmas Evil (1980) takes the very overused idea of a “Killer Santa” and brings some originality into the mix by infusing childhood trauma and mental illness associated with Christmas iconography. The main character watches Santa Claus sexually assault his mother (I told you this movie was crazy!) and has his idealistic view of Christmas stained forever. Having grown up to be a middling adult, our intrepid hero decides to adopt Christmas as a full time lifestyle in his private life. He is quite enraged that everyone doesn’t have the same optimistic view of the holiday season as he does… so he begins to dish out some pain-filled gifts himself. He makes his list, checks it twice and then descends into complete madness as he spreads Christmas Joy (aka violence galore) throughout his hometown. (Tubi, Vudu, Hulu)

Stocking Stuffers: Here are a few bonus choices to fill out your Christmas horror watchlists. Alex de la Inglesia is known for his off the wall features, so when he takes a crack at a holiday season movie you know it’s going to be fun. Day of the Beast (1995) tells the story of a disgraced priest trying to stop the ascension of the antichrist, who is set to arrive on Christmas Eve. He teams up with a television psychic and local metalhead stoner to do battle with the infernal forces of evil against a holiday season backdrop. Deep Red (1975) is one of Dario Argento’s most well regarded films and a staple of the giallo genre. While not a full on Christmas movie, the opening scene is one of the most iconic holiday scenes ever filmed. To end off on a solid note we must revisit an oldie but goodie. The “And All Through the House” segment of the original Tales From the Crypt movie (1972) is one of the best portrayals of a psycho Santa ever! Joan Collins and her young daughter being menaced by a maniac in one of the filthiest Santa suits in history will go down as a must watch every Christmas season.

Have a wonderful blood soaked Christmas everybody… see you next time!

(Originally published in All We Need Is Sleeze: Merry Sleeze-mas Issue. December 2021)

Gialli Dreams In Yellow: Volume #4 - Analyzing Argento's Animal Trilogy

2021-02-16T11:00:00.030-05:00

Gialli Dreams in Yellow will be a series of articles, essays and reviews of my favorite horror sub-genre, Giallo. Giallo is the Italian word for YELLOW but is also used to describe the whole sub-genre of horror films that weave elements of mystery, thriller and horror all into one narrative... sprinkle in over the top violence alongside some gratuitous nudity and you got yourself a GIALLO! Here are my thoughts on the genre... I hope to infuse some new opinions & views into what I consider the most diverse sub-genre in horror movie history.

Today I am going to attempt to analyze Dario Argento's "Animal Trilogy" to see which film is the "Gialliest" of them all... (see what I did there... hehehe)

Maestro

Before we start, a little context into the providence of this article. After attending a virtual screening of Argento's "Bird with the Crystal Plumage" hosted by the USC School of Cinematic Arts on 1/29/21 I instantly felt the need to revisit the other two movies in Argento's so called "Animal Trilogy", The Cat o' Nine Tails (1971) and Four Flies on Grey Velvet (1971). The name "Animal Trilogy" refers to the animal elements contained in each film’s titles. I had seen all three movies MANY times before but hearing the conversation in the Q&A session that followed the screening (led by the Colors of the Dark podcast hosts Elric Kane and Rebekah McKendry alongside AGFA & Arrow Video) made me want to see them again. I wanted to contrast the other two films to the stone cold classic that Plumage is... see if they hold up or even outperform such a great film. After all, I have seen what seems like a billion Giallo movies (especially in this last 2 years) so maybe I was not remembering them quite like I should. Finally, I usually do not need much of excuse to watch an Argento film. He is my first love in the genre, and one of my overall favorite directors. Long live the Maestro of Horror!

Beautiful Italian Original Posters

All that said, the thing that probably impresses me the most about the films in the "Animal Trilogy" is the fact that they came so early in Argento's career. He had only entered the business in 1966, and even then, that was primarily in the role of a writer. All the sudden a few short years later he is DIRECTING his own feature, with not one but TWO films in the can and released within the next year! That is 3 films completed and released from 1969-1971, all from someone who had never directed anything in his life. That is PRODUCTIVE as hell. What is even more impressive is how much of a massive hit "Plumage" was, and in retrospect what it did for the Gialli sub-genre over the next 10 years as the inspiration to many directors of Gialli movies to follow. Of course, these directors wanted to replicate the BOX OFFICE success of "Plumage" (it doubled its budget just in Italy and had a large success globally as well), but more importantly they took notice to the visual cues that Argento included in the film and turned them into hallmarks of Gialli's to come. All of this from a relative novice behind the camera who frequently has stated he had no idea "how" to truly direct a movie (let alone 3) … sometimes it is better to be lucky than good!

Mysterious/Sexy/Violent

For the purpose of this article, I decided to focus on the three main components of Gialli movies and how they play out over the three movies of the "Animal Trilogy" to determine which of the films is the best prototypical Gialli. Although the Gialli genre can be a bit all over the place in terms of how the films are executed, almost all of them contain overarching aspects of three components:

1) A Mystery element that usually involves amateur investigative work by regular people

2) A healthy dose of Eroticism/Sexuality that in most cases is an unnecessary addition to the telling of the story and

3) Violence... Extreme Violence... and then MORE VIOLENCE!

Without these three things you really do not have yourself a true Gialli film, and these components are all on FULL DISPLAY in Argento's "Animal Trilogy". Argento provided a roadmap on how to properly include and execute all these elements into a Gialli film, examples that would be jacked repeatedly over the following decades. So, let us get to it...

Mystery:

The cops on the scene in Plumage

All three of these films feature intriguing mysteries at the core of their stories. Out of the three components, this may very well be the hardest category to determine a clear cut "best". "Crystal Plumage" features the most grounded murder mystery, involving an out-of-town writer who witnessed a murder on what was supposed to be his last night in Rome. Since he may hold the key to the murder in his eyewitness memories, the Roman police seize his passport and ask him to stay.... while he is stuck in Roma he might as well throw on his amateur detective hat and start sleuthing, am I right?

Franco and Carlo, investigators supreme!

In "9 Tails" things start to get a bit more fantastical, with retired (and BLIND) reporter Franco and his intrepid granddaughter thrust into a world of scientific espionage and murder. I know... I cannot believe I just typed that line either! While the overall "crime" of the film, the break in at a Genetics Lab, seems a bit highbrow the film eventually finds its way back to its gritty Gialli roots. Add in Karl Malden as the blind journalist and we are in for a fun adventure along the way to identifying the perpetrators.

This is the craziest mask in blackmailer history!

"Four Flies" is probably the most batshit crazy, and that is saying a lot. Not only is the main protagonist a drummer in a Rock and Roll band, but he is the victim of a horrendous attack in which he fights off his would be killer. He slays his attacker, only to realize that he is being photographed by a masked man (the mask is SOOO EXTRA ridiculous) who captures the killing on film! Determined to uncover the masked photographer and clear his name by proving the killing was in self-defense, Roberto takes on the role of detective alongside a private eye he has hired to figure the whole mess out.

Rock n Roll baby!

All three of these films have very good mystery elements, but for me it must be "Four Flies" due to the two-pronged nuttiness of the plot. On one hand you have the idea of the drummer being attacked and killing someone as self-defense... but then being filmed to look like a killer himself. Then you have the aspect of the masked man and his ensuing blackmail. It all leads to tons of tension, lots of double & triple crosses and a story that starts off high concept and finishes very satisfyingly. The masked element of the blackmailer really makes the mood creepy throughout the film. It is such a ridiculous mask, one that would not exactly lend itself to being conspicuous on the streets of Italy.

Verdict: "Crystal Plumage" and "9 Tails" certainly have their mystery moments, but "Four Flies" delivers the best intrigue of the bunch!

Eroticism/Sexuality:

Right off the bat let me say that if you are looking for a high concentration of Eroticism/Sexuality from Argento in these movies you will be SEVERELY disappointed. Unlike many of the copycat films to come after, and even future films from his own filmography (and even his films with his OWN DAUGHTER!), the "Animal Trilogy" has minimal nudity. This would not be the industry standard in the following decade of Gialli films... hell, it had not been the industry standard for Mario Bava up until this point! But for this brief period Argento had not begun inserting the standardized nudity/sex into the narratives of his films. For better or worse, depending on your point of view of course, we get three Gialli that are unique in this prudish nature.

The execution of this shot is magical

"Crystal Plumage" features no nudity, even though you may think you remember some. There is a scene on a bed that many will say "I'm pretty sure there was some nudity there..." but they would be mistaken. It is implied, but not actually seen. That does not mean that it is completely devoid of Eroticism/Sexuality. In this case it is much more interwoven into the actions of the killer and some of the kills themselves. In that aforementioned bed scene, we get a killer who uses a rather large knife to cut open a nightshirt of the victim, although Argento utilizes clever angles and cuts to not expose any of the victim’s breast. The killer also rips the victim’s panties off her body with great force, but again not private parts are revealed. Even the actual kill in this scene is off camera and only implied. This makes for a sexual tension in the film, but not one that is over important or central to the plot's overall success.

Franco and his lovely niece

Now in "9 Tails" we get an altogether different type of movie. This time the lead is played by an older Karl Malden, who is blind at that and constantly accompanied by his 10-year-old niece. Not exactly the tandem that you would expect to generate hot and heavy sexuality. Couple this with the fact that the films plot centers around a science-based theft of information from a genetics lab and you are not exactly on the path to typical Gialli shenanigans. However, we do get a brief glimpse of nudity and an actual scene depicting sexual behavior, albeit a short and uneventful one. It is perfectly clear looking back on these movies that Argento was not as comfortable with working this "sexual" angle into his films just yet. But fret not... he would get VERY comfortable with the idea throughout his career!

As sexy as it gets in Flies...
I thought everyone was supposed to "Give the Drummer Some"

"Four Flies" continues the sexless path Argento seems to be very comfortable taking with these movies, and I for one am pretty bummed out about it! In a movie that features a lead who is a drummer in a Rock and Roll band as the main protagonist in the early 70's, I am under the impression he is gonna be getting tons of ass. Turns out, not so much. This movie also plays it safe, with one ridiculous bathroom scene revealing the only true nudity in the film. Just another example of many other things influencing the plot besides gratuitous sex... as crazy as that sounds for a Gialli.

Perfect body placement and the reflection of the knife!!!

Verdict: If I had to pick one, and the pickings are certainly slim here, I am going to have to go with "Crystal Plumage". That is kind of hilarious considering that is the only one of the three movies with ZERO NUDITY, but, that bed scene is the most erotic thing in all three movies. Argento accomplishes more in that scene showing NO nudity then many other directors due when they are not shooting a censored scene. It is tense, it feels dirty... and it is integral to the actual movie. This is the killer exposing his kink mid murder. That is bold stuff. Full disclosure I have seen the movie a dozen times and I had to re-watch the scene before writing this article just to make sure there was no nudity. That is effectively executing suggestive filmmaking. The other two films might show some boobs and go for the cheap nudity laden scenes, but they do not have the same gravitas as "Crystal Plumage" and it shows. Isn't it ironic that the movie that would inspire COUNTLESS Gialli movies to come would have zero nudity and use Eroticism/Sexuality better? I think so...

Violence:

Now we are finally at a category that is going to require a tough choice. All three of these movies are quite brutal, and just because they may be a bit tamer then future Gialli that does not mean Argento takes it easy by any stretch of the imagination. He even gives himself FUTURE IDEAS of re-doing some of the most violent scenes in these films when he had bigger budgets/better handle on effects shots. One thing is abundantly clear here in these three movies: Argento was BORN to make horror movies. There is no question about that when watching the "Animal Trilogy". He is always on brand with his over-the-top scenarios, the violence within those scenarios and the visuals of the final execution on film. They are all there on full display, and it is glorious.

Helpless to assist...

"Crystal Plumage' establishes that it is not fucking around right from the opening jump. The scene in which our protagonist Sam witnesses an attack through the glass window of an art gallery sets the stage for one hell of a ride. Argento may not use any nudity for cheap effect in this film, but he does not skimp on the sheer displays of gratuitous violence throughout. The proto-typical clack gloved trench coat sporting killer in this movie is NO JOKE... he is as violent as could be in his attacks, even though they are not always successful in completing the task. As a matter of fact, the idea that the killer is fallible and does not always fulfill the execution of his victims is even more effective. This gives you the distinct feeling that this "killer" could be anyone. That is much more menacing than the brute who always completes his kill. The most effective scene depicting violence is the scene when Julia (Sam's girlfriend) is under siege in her apartment from the killer. The killer does not get in to complete the deed... but it’s no less nerve racking then if he had gotten in and gutted her. More is less in this film, and Argento executes the balance magically.

Squish....

Now in the past two categories "9 Tails" has fallen short of its trilogy counterparts. But this is definitely not the case in the violence department. This is one of the rare films where QUALITY of the kills easily trumps the QUANTITY of the kills. In the Gialli genre, this is very rare. There are only 5 deaths in the whole movie, and only 4 occur on screen. The standard method of the early kills in the film are strangulation, and they are extremely brutal. But the train accident and elevator scene are both the kind of set pieces that Argento would become synonymous with later in his career. This is glorious violence for the sake of just that... because why not... let us do it and do it as violent as possible!

Creepy eye shot...

The third film in the trilogy is always in a precarious position. The film series has two installments on the books. So, you cannot exactly deviate from the style/tone without it sticking out like a sore thumb. While the "Animal Trilogy' is not exactly a straight through line of story, it certainly has plenty of elements in common within the three films. One of the areas Argento clearly never intended to come up short in was VIOLENCE. "Four Flies' delivers on the violence, right from the opening scene. Anytime you can make the violence weird it is a certain plus, and the mask that the blackmailer wears while photographing our propogandist commuting self-defense murder is super weird to say the least! 6 kills in this movie and they all happen ON SCREEN, none of that IMPLIED bullshit from his earlier works. Argento goes for it here, and not only does he go for it he delivers it spectacularly! The final kill of the movie is almost more satisfying than all the other kills combined, and it has nothing to do with HOW the killing takes place... it is ALL execution, LITERALLY!

Right before the villainess loses her head...

Verdict: This is going to have to go to "Four Flies: again, for me, simply because all of the killings are executed on screen. Because of this, the violence has more opportunities to shine... and Argento embraces them all. I wanted to go with "9 Tails" for some of the sheer brutality that film shows, but it all come back to that final scene in "Four Flies". Considering when it occurs in the film and just how brutal it is, it is hard to pick against it. There are some great moments of violence in both films 1 and 2, but Argento got better at his set pieces and execution as time went on. Truth is he would only get better... but this is a definitive flash of greatness early on!

Overall Verdict:

I am going to have to say that based on this ANALYSIS that I have conducted (I also cannot believe I just typed that... lol) I am going to have to say that Four Flies on Grey Velvet may be the best prototypical Gialli movie of the three films.

The title shot in the actual movie!

I will stand by my prior thoughts that Bird with the Crystal Plumage is probably the best overall film of the bunch and that all three films certainly have their merit... but "Four Flies" is the most prototypical Gialli of the three. Full disclosure in this postscript: It was always my least favorite of the three movies (I always ranked them Plumage/9 Tails/Four Flies) but now it may have crept its way up to the top spot. Maybe not overtaking Plumage but putting it right on equal par with it.

What I am more aware of then ever is that these seminal movies were integral steppingstones for the later works that Argento would unleash on the world. Once he had some experience under his belt with these three films, he was able to understand what he "could" and "couldn't" do in the areas of Mystery/Eroticism/Violence. His BEST work in all three of those categories would come down the pipe for him.

His best in terms of Mystery/Eroticism/Violence

For me Tenebre (1981) would be his best "mystery" film, Suspiria (1977) uses "eroticism/sexuality" the best and Deep Red (1975) or Opera (1987) would be his most "violent"! But none of those would be possible without the "Animal Trilogy" and the groundwork those three films laid out. For that I am forever grateful.

Original Italian Theatrical Posters:

Gialli Dreams In Yellow: Volume #3 - Short Night Of Glass Dolls (1971)

2021-02-06T17:27:00.003-05:00

Gialli Dreams in Yellow will be a series of articles, essays and reviews of my favorite horror sub-genre, Giallo. Giallo is the Italian word for YELLOW, but is also used to describe the whole sub-genre of horror films that weave elements of mystery, thriller and horror all into one narrative... sprinkle in over the top violence alongside some gratuitous nudity and you got yourself a GIALLO! Here are my thoughts on the genre... I hope to infuse some new opinions & views into what I consider the most diverse sub-genre in horror movie history.

First up, a genre bending Sci-Fi tinged Giallo: Short Night of Glass Dolls (1971)

Title: Short Night of Glass Dolls (La Corta Notte delle Bambole di Vetro) (1971)

Director: Aldo Lado

Producer/Distributor: Enzo Doria-Luciano Volpato/Jadran Films

Starring: Ingrid Thulin, Jean Sorel, Mario Adorf, Barbara Bach

Synopsis:

Greg Moore, an American journalist visiting Prague with his girlfriend Mira is found dead. However, he's actually only temporarily paralyzed, but the coroner fails to realize this and proceeds to prepare him for the autopsy. While Moore awaits his doom, he tries to recollect what has happened to him. Can he put the pieces together before the autopsy is performed?

Analysis:

This movie surprised me more then you can know. Watching Gialli movies is a certain undertaking... one who has seen as many Gialli as I have goes into the films understanding the things they are about to endure. Black gloved killers, POV shots, random boobs and of course there will be more blood then Daniel Day Lewis can make a milkshake out of!!! But not this one... this is DIFFERENT.

This one teeters on Sci-Fi way more then any Gialli than I could remember. It starts off traditionally enough, but it quickly devolves into a story about a man who seems to have been killed but is not truly dead. An autopsy is scheduled, so the clock is ticking... can he put the pieces together on who "killed" him before the autopsy doctors finish the job?

This is uncharted waters for a Gialli, and a pleasant surprise at that. I like the idea of a change of pace from the traditional black gloved POV murders. As a matter of fact, hardly anyone actually gets murdered in this movie at all! Technically 6 people meet their demise in the film, but only 2 are actually MURDERED on camera, with only one of those being dramatic at all. Not exactly a Bava/Fulci/Argento or even Martino-esque body count by any means, and it isn't needed in the least bit. This movie thrives on suspense and thrills... it is so tense, flipping perspectives from the corpse on the autopsy table to flashbacks of the days leading up to the moment. You can't relax for a minute because the tense nature of the movie won't let you get comfortable.

It's nice to see some actual intrigue and wonderment drive the plot of the movie... but this is a Gialli, so it does need some visual bite. There are some great moments within the flashbacks scenes that feature beautiful imagery. And the culmination of the film takes place at the headquarters of a secret society that involves an insane room set up with beautiful flowers that create quite a memorable visual. This movie proves that the genre doesn't have to be all hack/slash bloodshed.

Recommendation:

This is the kind of Giallo movie that will appeal to pretty much any genre movie fan. Your Sci-Fi/Medical Mystery itch can be scratched while also hitting many of the traditionally beats Gialli cinema lovers will be expecting. Totally enjoyable throughout with the rare ending that doesn't fall short. One of a kind... in the best way possible!

Original Theatrical Poster

Gialli Dreams In Yellow: Volume #2- Macabre (1980)

2021-01-18T12:07:00.001-05:00

Gialli Dreams in Yellow will be a series of articles, essays and reviews of my favorite horror sub genre, Giallo. Giallo is the Italian word for YELLOW, but is also used to describe the whole sub-genre of horror films that weave elements of mystery, thriller and horror all into one narrative... sprinkle in over the top violence alongside some gratuitous nudity and you got yourself a GIALLO! Here are my thoughts on the genre... I hope to infuse some new opinions & views into what I consider the most diverse sub-genre in horror movie history.

First up, a dip in the pool for the son of a Gialli legend: Macabre (1980)

Title: Macabre aka Macabro (1980)

Director: Lamberto Bava

Producer/Distributor: Antonio Avati, Gianni Minervini

Starring: Bernice Stegers, Stank Molnar, Veronica Zinny, Roberto Posse, Fernando Pannullo

Synopsis:

A local New Orleans woman leaves her kids to shoot over to rendezvous with her lover at a secret apartment she keeps. Her daughter figures out what is going on and in an act of defiance she murders her little brother while they are unsupervised! While she is off cheating Mom gets the call and rushes home alongside her lover... who is beheaded in a freak car accident!!!! This is only the first 15 min of the movie... you won't believe what happens next!!!

Analysis:

I truly wish that I could downplay the synopsis and say that this movie "settled down" once we got past the very hectic first 15-20 minutes... but that would be impossible. It seems that Lamberto Bava, son of Italian horror icon Mario Bava, seems to have patterned his filmmaking after that of his daddy... as well as other Italian legends Ruggero Deodato and Dario Argento (both of which Lamberto served as assistant director/screenwriter for) that he had worked with. This movie is absolutely batshit crazy from the opening moment when the typical Giallo "dub" voices kick in and these clearly non-Cajun people start talking in a regional 'Nawlins drawl. Wow. Just wow....

Mommy decides to leave the youngsters unsupervised so she could go on over to her Love Shack for a romantic rendezvous. Because you know.... Giallo. So she arrives at her secret apartment and it happens to be run by a mother and son team that features a young, blind son as caretakers. Perfect spot to lay low... or is it? Her daughter, who is the elder of the two kids, figures out her mom is out living it up. She gives a call over to the sex pad and MOM PICKS UP! You would think this might inspire our super-mom to go home and try to repair her broken home with some 'splainin.... but nope. She is gonna wait it out and have her sex romp one way or another!!! Meanwhile back home the daughter Lucy decides its bath time for her baby bro after she snaps from reality over her impending parents divorce:

Look at those Chucky sleeves!

The daughter is dressed like a Chucky doll and she acts it all the way out... mind you we are only 10-12 minutes in at this point! I can't actually believe I'm going to say this, but IT ONLY GETS CRAZIER FROM HERE! After the sexy session mommy and boyfriend are notified of little brothers "accident", so of course they rush right over there. A car accident and decapitation later, mommy dearest is left with a broken marriage, a dead son, a murdering daughter and a headless lover! Now we can start the movie...

Bava is Italian horror royalty, with a pops held in very high esteem not just in Italy but all around the filmmaking world. So considering his crown prince of horror status, I am not that surprised that he found his way into this industry subgenre. But unlike most royalty, Bava Jr. put in the work to learn his craft. He didn't rely on nepotism and his last name to get his opportunity to direct a feature. He grinded it out as a key behind the scenes member of productions for his dad, Dario Argento, Ruggero Deodato, Joe D'Amato and Ken Clark in a variety of roles. His grandfather had been a camera operator during the silent film era. He soaked all this knowledge and experience up as he waited for the opportunity to be his own boss. And once he was given that special opportunity he never looked back... he is STILL active and working to this day!

This film is Lamberto's "Reservoir Dogs" in a sense. Not only is it his first film out of the gate, but it is bursting with promise and genius that would be sure to come on future projects. Similar to Tarantino & Reservoir Dogs (1992), when you watch Macabre it is hard to believe this is a debut directorial effort. The movie looks beautiful, with the interiors and set decoration really driving home the New Orleans location. It also looks is shot beautifully, thanks to veteran cinematographer Franco Delli Colli. But most importantly when it comes time for the "shock and awe" moments we all love in Giallo movies Bava Jr. delivers the goods. The violence and gore is not over the top at all... but when it does pop up it really is used effectively. The deaths in the film stick with you long after they pass because of how well they are relayed through Bava Jr's lens.

Bernice Stegers smolders on the screen as the worst mom ever. She is sexy in a very overt way, like a plain jane mom with a perverted dark side that she is constantly wanting to explore. Her modest white shoulder pad laden overcoat that is worn early in the movie is replaced by sheer nightgowns with plunging necklines that show off all the goods. She really does transform for the camera when she takes on the role of the cheating wife. People can downplay it all they want, but sex & nudity are a HUGE part of what make Giallo movies so popular. So when you are evaluating these films this must be taken into the equation whether we want to or not. Stegers repressed sexuality is used very effectively by Bava Jr. in developing the storyline. She loves her kids, sure... but she yearns for a life with her younger, sexier boyfriend way more and she isn't gonna let a little thing like him being dead stop her!

Original French Lobby Cards

Recommendations:

Even though Blade in the Dark (his second film) and Demons 1 & 2 get the most publicity, to me this is the must see Lamberto Bava movie. Fans of Giallo will really dig this take on the story... and it has one of the greatest plot reveals in history!

Original Theatrical Poster

Gialli Dreams in Yellow: Volume #1 - Torso (1973)

2020-12-31T11:09:00.002-05:00

First up, a personal favorite: Torso (1973) by Sergio Martino

Title: Torso or I Corpi Presentano Tracce Di Violenza Carnale (1973)

Director: Sergio Martino

Producer/Distributor: Carlo Ponti/Compagnia Cinematografica Champion

Starring: Suzy Kendall, Tina Aumont, Luc Merenda, John Richardson, Angela Covello

Synopsis:

Students at a local university seem to be falling victim to the same killer, who uses a scarf to strangle the victims. Can the killer remain at large once people start putting together who it may be?

Analysis:

I picked this film to start my review series off because I think it is as perfect an example of Giallo as I could imagine. Is it the BEST Giallo ever? That is not for me to say. But it certainly hits all the beats of what I used to expect from a Giallo film, and after watching it has developed the standard by which I judge most Gialli films by ever since. Saying it greatly impressed me is downplaying it as much as possible. Torso is really fantastic on so many levels.

Martino outperforms what seems to have been his capabilities both up until this point and after. Having cut his teeth working alongside the father of the genre Mario Bava, Martino may have the best body of overall Gialli films out of the usual suspects (Bava, Argento, etc) and Torso is the crown jewel. He puts it all together in this film: a great story idea, brutal kills and a true mystery that unravels at a perfect pace.

The highlight for me of the film has to be the simplistic yet menacing mask of the killer. Unlike many other Gialli we actually see the killers whole face, not just their gloved hands from their POV. And what a sight it is... the only way to properly describe it is a dirty tube sock that has a face and mouth cut out of it. But what truly makes it terrifying is the defined NOSE of the mask. If it was a just a sock, it would just be simple nostril holes or nothing at all. But the killers nose is so pronounced in the mask it makes it seem sculpted in some way. For a blank white mask this infuses a great deal of personality into the killer. It sticks with you long after the credit role.

At the end of the day a Giallo is usually judged by the quality of the kills on screen, and this is where Martino truly hits a grand slam. Our masked killer seems to be proficient at many styles of killing. We get a little bit of everything here: some strangulation, stabbings, dismemberment and even a good old fashion vehicular homicide! Martino certainly didn't hold back, with no one killing/murder really outshining the others like most Giallo movies usually have. There is no SIGNATURE kill per se. They all work properly to further the story in a way that is quite unique and satisfying.

Recommendation:

A must watch for all Giallo fans and also the Slasher sub-genre, because that sub-genre also owes Torso & Martino a great deal.

Original US Theatrical One Sheet

The Jacked Kirby Podcast: Episode #58 - Eternals... the Movie ?!?

2019-07-24T08:11:00.000-04:00

Will the recently announced Eternals movie be the next big thing in the Marvel Cinematic Universe? Excited to see a purely Jack Kirby created series up on the big screen, Mike D and Tommy do some dream casting, plot ruminating and joke making... and as a bonus, we talk about the upcoming Sandman Netflix series!!!

Have fun and listen... and compare our choices for the cast against the recently officially announced cast!!!!

Thanks again to super producer Rob for always putting out awesome stuff!!!!

As Always, please Subscribe to the podcast by clicking here: Like us, Download us and follow us on all the social medias!!!

Episode Info;

Episode #58 - Eternals... the Movie ?!?

Hosts:

Mike D and Tommy Lombardozzi

Outro Song:

Tiffany - I Think We're Alone Now

The Jacked Kirby Podcast: Episode #57 - Jack's Green Arrow

2019-07-07T07:52:00.000-04:00

Green Arrow is not a superhero that Jack Kirby may be known for... but his work on the character in the late 1950's has had a lasting effect on the Oliver Queen mythos! Artist Kieran Quinn joins Mike D and Tommy to discuss the character, DC TV shows, the complexity of the Golden Age vs Modern Age of Comic Fandom and their upcoming art show at the Coney Island Brewery!

Another fun-filled ep of The Jacked Kirby Podcats!

Special Thanks to our awesome guest this week... Kieran, glad to finally get you on man! Shout Out to super producer Rob Martin as well!!!

As Always, please Subscribe to the podcast by clicking here: Like us, Download us and follow us on all the social medias!!!

Episode Info;

Episode #57 - Jack's Green Arrow

Hosts:

Mike D and Tommy Lombardozzi

Guest:

Kieran Quinn

Outro Song:

The Jacked Kirby Podcast: Episode #56 - Destroyer Duck!

2019-06-18T11:28:00.000-04:00

Co-created by Kirby and Steve Gerber, Destroyer Duck was a scathing analogy/adventure pitting Destroyer against the evil conglomerate GodCorp (aka Marvel!!!). Join Tommy, Mike D and special guest Chris "Super Live Adventure" Sorrentino as they discuss the history of Eclipse Comics title from the early 80s... as well as fingerjobs stories, Howard the Duck, sex stories involving Disney cartoon classic and so much more!!!!

Laughs and comic book info aplenty!!!!
Thanks to super producer Rob and our main man Chris Sorrentino for joining us!!!!

As Always, please Subscribe to the podcast by clicking here: Like us, Download us and follow us on all the social medias!!!

Episode Info;

Episode #56 - Destroyer Duck!

Hosts:

Mike D and Tommy Lombardozzi

Guest:

Chris Sorrentino

Outro Song:

Destroyer by The Kinks

The Jacked Kirby Podcast: Episode #55 - 5 Things, #5

2019-06-11T11:24:00.000-04:00

It's Here... Our unceremonious 2nd anniversary episode of the Jacked Kirby Podcast! For this super special occasion we doing our 5th Edition of our fabulous feature 5 Things!!! That is alotta FIVES (and alliteration... wow!). Join Tommy & Mike D as they give their lists of Kirby related things they like & think you should know about!!!

Thanks to super producer Rob as always... and thanks to all of you guys who have listened over the last two years!!!

As Always, please Subscribe to the podcast by clicking here: Like us, Download us and follow us on all the social medias!!!

Episode Info;

Episode #55 - 5 Things, #5

Hosts:

Mike D and Tommy Lombardozzi

Outro Song:

I Can't Drive 55 - Sammy Haggar

The Jacked Kirby Podcast: Episode #54 - Challengers of the Unknown

2019-06-06T11:17:00.000-04:00

Take a trip back to 1957 as Mike D. & TL introduce you to the Challengers of the Unknown, the DC Comics’ group of adventurers that Jack Kirby created which many say were the impetus for the Marvel Comics Universe!

How?! Listen and find out!!!

As Always, please Subscribe to the podcast by clicking here: Like us, Download us and follow us on all the social medias!!!

Episode Info;

Episode #54 - Challengers of the Unknown

Hosts:

Mike D and Tommy Lombardozzi

Outro Song:

Don't Forbid Me by Pat Boone

The Jacked Kirby Podcast: Episode #53 - Meet Paste-Pot Pete!

2019-05-27T20:49:00.000-04:00

Sometimes a character comes along and inexplicably has your heart. For us, Paste-Pot Pete is such a character. Join Tommy, Mike D., & special guest Joey Armao as they discuss one of Kirby’s more ridiculous, but lovable, characters... a Jacked Kirby Krew favorite! Plus other comic book- and life-related good time ramblings for your entertainment.

You will believe a man can shoot glue from a gun!

As Always, please Subscribe to the podcast by clicking here: Like us, Download us and follow us on all the social medias!!!

Episode Info;

Episode #53 - Meet Paste Pot Pete!

Hosts:

Mike D and Tommy Lombardozzi

Guest:

Joey "The Clitigator" Armao

Outro Song:

Stick Like Glue by Angel

The Jacked Kirby Podcast: Episode #52 - What If...?

2019-05-01T11:03:00.000-04:00

What If the Original Marvel Bullpen Had Become the Fantastic Four? Find out by listening to this show! Jack wrote and illustrated volume 1, issue 11 of this late-‘70s Marvel Comics series, and Tommy & Mike D. talk about it... and much more... in episode 52 of The Jacked Kirby Podcast!

Have a listen, have a laugh... maybe you’ll learn something new in the process!

As Always, please Subscribe to the podcast by clicking here: Like us, Download us and follow us on all the social medias!!!

Episode Info;

Episode #52 - What If...?

Hosts:

Mike D and Tommy Lombardozzi

Outro Song:

What If's and Maybe's - Bromheads Jacket

The Jacked Kirby Podcast: Episode #51 - Cap's Sleeper Saga

2019-04-24T10:55:00.000-04:00

Captain America’s number one Nazi foe returns in this arc of his 1968 Marvel Comic! With the return of Red Skull comes to awakening of THE FOURTH SLEEPER... and the world is doomed!

Tommy & Mike D. are joined by Joey Armao (“The Clitigator”) to discuss this action-packed yarn! Good fun...

As usual big shout outs to our super producer Rob Martin for making the podcast sound unbelievable and getting the show post week in and week out!!! Also thanks to our good friend Joey Armao for joining us once again and litigating that clit!

As Always, please Subscribe to the podcast by clicking here: Like us, Download us and follow us on all the social medias!!!

Episode Info;

Episode #51 - Cap's Sleeper Saga

Hosts:

Mike D and Tommy Lombardozzi

Guest:

Joey "The Clitigator" Armao

Outro Song:

Ain't No Fun - Snoop Doggy Dog ft Da Dog Pound

The Jacked Kirby Podcast: Episode #50 - This Is Fifty!!!!

2019-04-15T10:30:00.000-04:00

Fifty episodes! Yowza! Mike D. & Tommy discuss the past, present, and future of The Jacked Kirby Podcast in the unique fashion you’ve come to know and love!

As usual big shout outs to our super producer Rob Martin for making the podcast sound unbelievable and getting the show post week in and week out!!! Also thanks to our BIG BROTHER Al "Boulder" Accettura for doing another amazing episode with us!

As Always, please Subscribe to the podcast by clicking here: Like us, Download us and follow us on all the social medias!!!

Episode Info;

Episode #50 - This is 50!!!

Hosts:

Mike D and Tommy Lombardozzi

Outro Song:

Slow Down by Bobby Valentino

The Jacked Kirby Podcast: Episode #49 - Shazammin' It Up!

2019-03-29T10:12:00.000-04:00

It’s the original Captain Marvel! Ed O’Hare from THE DC TV REPORT podcast talks to Mike D. & TL about the Captain and Jack Kirby and Joe Simon’s singular work on the character in 1941’s Whiz Comics, as well a whole bunch more comic book and DC TV show fun leading up to the release of the Shazam! movie!

Shout outs and good clean laughs are also included in our 49th episode!

Tell yer friends...

As usual big shout outs to our super producer Rob Martin for making the podcast sound unbelievable and getting the show post week in and week out!!! Also thanks to our guest Ed O'Hare for hitting us up with all that great Captain Marvel/Shazam knowledge!!!

As Always, please Subscribe to the podcast by clicking here: Like us, Download us and follow us on all the social medias!!!

Episode Info;

Episode #49 - Shazammin' It Up

Hosts:

Mike D and Tommy Lombardozzi

Guest:

Ed O'Hare

Outro Song:

Shazam! by Daddyphatsnaps

The Jacked Kirby Podcast: Episode #48 - Inker Spotlight: Joltin' Joe Sinnott

2019-03-19T22:50:00.000-04:00

It’s back; INKER SPOTLIGHT!

It’s been a while since we’ve had this feature on the show, but we’re talking about Joltin’ Joe Sinnott on this, the 48th episode of the program! Mike D. & Tommy bring their pal Big Al Boulder (Alfred Accettura) back to discuss the inker synonymous with Jack Kirby’s run on Fantastic Four (and a WHOLE lot more)! Comics are talked about, art is showcased in an aural medium, and laughs are had!

As Always, please Subscribe to the podcast by clicking here: Like us, Download us and follow us on all the social medias!!!

Episode Info;

Episode #48 - Inker Spotlight: Joltin' Joe Sinnott

Hosts:

Mike D and Tommy Lombardozzi

Guest:

Al Accettura

Outro Song:

Triumph by Wu - Tang Clan

The Jacked Kirby Podcast: Episode #47 - 5 Things, #4

2019-03-11T22:17:00.000-04:00

Listen as Mike D. & Tommy bring back their feature, “5 THINGS”! This gives the boys an opportunity to discuss some Kirby goodness that may not warrant a full episode... and may teach the listener a thing or two (or five) about some deep Jack Kirby (or Kirby-related) stuff they may not know about! Plus, listener shout outs! It’s always a good time, kids.

As usual big shout outs to our super producer Rob Martin for making the podcast sound unbelievable and getting the show post week in and week out!!!

As Always, please Subscribe to the podcast by clicking here: Like us, Download us and follow us on all the social medias!!!

Episode Info;

Episode #47 - 5 Things, #4

Hosts:

Mike D and Tommy Lombardozzi

Outro Song:

Big Five by Judge Dread

The Jacked Kirby Podcast: Episode #46 - Skrulls! Skrulls! Skrulls!

2019-03-07T23:31:00.000-05:00

Kurt Russell or Jeff Bridges? Quentin Tarantino’s giant head. Nunchucks to the testicles. These are some of the tangents we go on in an episode dedicated to the SKRULLS, the Marvel Comics’ alien race now appearing in the latest MCU film installment, ‘Captain Marvel’!

Mike D & TL are joined by one of the Jacked Kirby Krew, Big Al Accettura, for the fun-filled 46th episode of the program where we discuss the creation and history of the shapeshifting aliens... and much more!

As usual big shout outs to our super producer Rob Martin for making the podcast sound unbelievable and getting the show post week in and week out!!! Thanks to our guest Al Accetura for always making the podcast better with his presence!

As Always, please Subscribe to the podcast by clicking here: Like us, Download us and follow us on all the social medias!!!

Episode Info;

Episode #46 - Skrulls! Skrulls! Skrulls!

Hosts:

Mike D and Tommy Lombardozzi

Guest:

Al Accettura

Outro Song:

The Great Pretender by Freddie Mercury

The Jacked Kirby Podcast: Episode #45 - Devil Dinosaur!

2019-02-14T23:20:00.000-05:00

A cave-child! Aliens! Cro-Magnon men! Witches! Tribes! Triceratops helmets! A sexy monkey-woman! And, a giant red dinosaur that rules the valley! It’s Jack Kirby’s DEVIL DINOSAUR! Join Mike D. & TL and they step back into the age between beast and man to discuss this 1978 Marvel Comics series. Wild and wacky stuff, kids!

As usual big shout outs to our super producer Rob Martin for making the podcast sound unbelievable and getting the show post week in and week out!!!! Also shout out to Joey for guest starring on another episode!!!!

As Always, please Subscribe to the podcast by clicking here: Like us, Download us and follow us on all the social medias!!!

Episode Info;

Episode #45 - Devil Dinosaur!

Hosts:

Mike D and Tommy Lombardozzi

Outro Song:

Walking In Your Footsteps by The Police

The Jacked Kirby Podcast: Episode #44 - Bring On The Bad Guys

2019-01-31T23:03:00.000-05:00

Who’s your favorite Kirby bad guy?! Tommy, Mike D, and special guest Joey talk about theirs... but really only scratch the surface of great Jack Kirby created (or co-created) villains!

As Always, please Subscribe to the podcast by clicking here: Like us, Download us and follow us on all the social medias!!!

Episode Info;

Episode #44 Bring On the Bad Guys!!!

Hosts:

Mike D and Tommy Lombardozzi

Guest:

Joey Armao

Outro Song:

“Magneto and Titanium Man” by Wings

The Jacked Kirby Podcast: Episode #43 - O.M.A.C. - One Man Army Corps

2019-01-24T13:23:00.001-05:00

Let’s take a trip to the future with The King!

Mike D. & Tommy are joined by their pal Joey Armao to discuss Jack Kirby’s 1974 DC Comic’s series OMAC, the One Man Army Corps! Laughs are had and Jack’s vision of the future is explored by the boys in this fun-filled forty-third episode of the show!

As usual big shout outs to our super producer Rob Martin for making the podcast sound unbelievable and getting the show post week in and week out!!!! Thank you to our main man Joey for joining us on the show!!!!

As Always, please Subscribe to the podcast by clicking here: Like us, Download us and follow us on all the social medias!!!

Episode Info;

Episode #43: O.M.A.C. - One Man Army Corps

Hosts:

Mike D and Tommy Lombardozzi

Guest:

Joey Armao

Outro Song:

“In the Year 2525” by Zager and Evans

The Jacked Kirby Podcast: Episode #42 - The Incredible Hulk (1962)

2019-01-17T09:38:00.002-05:00

Dr. Bruce Banner is the Green Goliath... actually, the Gray Goliath! What?! Join Tommy & Mike D. for the first Jacked Kirby episode of 2019, wherein they discuss the first six issues of Marvel Comic’s The Incredible Hulk (1962)... before some major changes occurred.

As usual big shout outs to our super producer Rob Martin for making the podcast sound unbelievable and getting the show post week in and week out!!!!

As Always, please Subscribe to the podcast by clicking here: Like us, Download us and follow us on all the social medias!!!

Episode Info;

Episode #42: The Incredible Hulk (1962)

Hosts:

Mike D and Tommy Lombardozzi

Outro Song:

•Music- “Nobody Loves the Hulk” by The Traits