Back in the good old days, before smartphones, matchmaking websites, and boomboxes (yes I’m referring to John Cusack in Say Anything), harana, meaning “serenade” in Tagalog, was the way Filipino gentlemen would woo the ladies. However, because of changing times and the modernity bug, this classic romantic practice is slowly vanishing. To prevent this sentimental past time from completely disappearing, Bay Area based guitarist, Florante Aguilar, travels to the remote provinces of his native Philippines in search of the long lost haranistas in Benito Bautista’s Harana.

Once upon a time, not too long ago (last November), I came across the trailer for Harana. Though I’m a 90s kid who was born and raised in the urban city and county of San Francisco, I have a longing for nostalgic Filipino customs, especially harana.

So how does harana work? The ideal set-up would be a guy backed up by his buddies singing and playing guitar below the house of the girl he is romantically pursuing, trying to get her to look out the window as seen on Harana‘s poster.

And here’s a photo of the exact opposite of harana, taken in my mom’s hometown, circa 2008. As you can see, I’m a little further out the window than the girls on the poster. Ideally, I should have been the one being sung to, but my cousins standing on the street level did not play guitar. However, we were singing a song called, “Harana”.

Once I found out Bautista’s film was going to be screened at CAAMFest 2013, I just had to attend this year’s festival. Initially I was planning to be a festival volunteer, but then I came across a post for the Student Delegate Program and gave it a shot. After finding out I was selected to be a part of the program, I got so excited since now I thought I was guaranteed to see Harana.

At the Student Delegate Program orientation, festival staff presented a mandatory schedule for the first four days of CAAMFest, Thursday, March 14 – Sunday, March 17. While I was thrilled to see our itinerary would be packed with a variety of events, I was disappointed to find out that Harana was not included in the schedule. Harana’s CAAMFest screenings were on March 15 and March 17.  By the time we had the freedom to choose our own schedule, March 18, it was too late.

Nevertheless, it’s Thursday, March 14, and I have a great time on CAAMFest opening night. The next three days of our planned out schedule were so eventful that I don’t even know where to begin. To give you an idea of what the Student Delegate Program was like, it was basically an enjoyable elementary school field trip that lasted for four days. First off, though we were all college students, we still looked like a class of third graders carrying our backpacks filled with snacks. Leading the way were our chaperones, CAAM interns, Mitchell and Yeji. And of course, no field trip is incomplete without name tags, in this case, our festival badges. The major difference between us and elementary schoolers, aside from our heights, would be that we all had cellphones. So whenever one of us got separated from the field trip, our chaperones did not panic and call for security, instead they would just easily text us. And actually, when we were all exchanging each other’s numbers, I thought about how texting is one of the conveniences that threatens harana into fading away.

Today, it is not uncommon for two Filipino strangers to become “text-mates” and fall in love.
I usually don’t like to bring in mathematics, but this is how I feel: texting < harana.

Anyway, going back to the Student Delegate Program, we were all basically stuck in one group walking together around Japantown, theater to theater, venue to venue. And as for the locations outside of Japantown, our yellow school bus was Muni. Remember when you were a kid on a field trip having so much fun, that despite the fact that you were so exhausted from all that walking, you just didn’t want the field trip to end? Well that’s how I felt. I personally enjoyed our itinerary not only because it was so much fun, but because I was gaining so much knowledge. Come to think of it now, field trips weren’t just meant to be fun, they were meant to be educational. From early mornings to late evenings, meetings with filmmakers and numerous screenings, everything happened back to back with almost no breaks, but it was all worth it. At this point I’ve gotten over the fact that I wasn’t going to get to see Harana.

Out of all the events on our agenda, my highlight would have to be Ready, Set, Pitch! on March 17, the last day of our mandatory schedule. It was eye-opening to witness filmmakers promoting their productions in concise fifteen minute presentations amongst a jury. Similarly to a reality show with singing contestants showcasing their unique vocals, every filmmaker displayed originality and no two presentations were alike. As an aspiring filmmaker, this event was a huge deal for me. Despite the fact that I only got two hours of sleep the night before, the event was so fascinating that I forgot how tired I was that Sunday morning. At this point I’ve gotten so much out of the festival that I’m thinking things couldn’t get any better.

So it’s Monday, March 18, the first day we student delegates have the freedom to choose our own schedule. A fellow student delegate and I are walking up the staircase of New People Cinema when we bump into this one guy coming down the steps. My fellow student delegate had already met the guy before, but since I had not yet, I introduce myself. He smiles, shakes my hand, and introduces himself. Before I expose his identity, let me just say that we have an amazing conversation. I don’t want to go into too much detail, but one of the best things he tells us is, “With documentaries, it’s not always about the facts. It’s about the experience”. To make my long story short, as people were trying to make their way up the steps and back down, we were a fire hazard in the middle of New People Cinema’s staircase listening to the inspiring words of Benito Bautista, director of Harana.

By the end of March 17, I had already been content with my festival experience, but after bumping into Benito Bautista the next day, I thought that just topped it all off. If everything ended there, my CAAMFest would have been complete. Needless to say, this wasn’t how it ended.

I continued on with CAAMFest until closing night and though everything after the first four days was unplanned, each day just kept on getting better than the day prior. And although I was not intending to, I did not realize that I had visited almost all of the theaters and venues for this year’s festival. I missed out on a few places, but that was only because I do not turn twenty-one until June. And later on in the week, I had a lovely talk with Emma Francisco, assistant director of Harana.

Now let me fast forward to the last event I attended.

The Groove Salon with DJ Vinroc and Goh Nakamura. Thank you Marky Enriquez for curating such an event. As a music enthusiast, it was mind-blowing to see these two artists from opposite ends of the musical spectrum jam together live. When Goh performed “Suitcase” accompanied by Vinroc’s freestyle beat making, I just could not stop nodding my head.

To listen to it was one thing, but to experience it happening live, who could ask for more? Though the set up is pretty complicated with all the wires, and one has to be delicate with all the equipment, in my mind I was thinking this could be a modern day harana. Harana doesn’t have to disappear because of technology, it’s possible for the past time to evolve along with it.

It has been an honor to represent the City College of San Francisco in this year’s CAAMFest Student Delegate Program.
Thank you Southwest Airlines for sponsoring this amazing opportunity. 

Wait. I have one more confession to make.

Although I met the director and assistant director of the film, I have not actually watched Harana once. I’ve watched it twice. And though both times were not at this year’s CAAMFest, had I not been a student delegate, I would not have even gotten the chance to watch it in the first place. I guess watchingHarana was meant to be for me after all.

Originally I applied for the Student Delegate Program just hoping to be able to see Harana, but I got so much more out of this program that I can go on forever. Sorry if my blog was a little long. To be honest, this was just the concise version of my CAAMFest experience.

Hold up. I did title this “My CAAMFest Fairy Tale” right?

And so I lived happily ever after.

The end.

Chosen from a large competitive pool of undergraduate and graduate students, the Student Delegates are a small yet diverse group of students who rigorously train at CAAMFest “boot camp.” Under guidance from festival staff, student delegates participate in an intense schedule of music events, cooking events, film screenings, discussions, and exclusive meetings with filmmakers and special guests. The program aims to cultivate the next generation of filmmakers, activists, educators, and community leaders. Check back for blogs from all of the 2013 student delegates!

Southwest Airlines is a proud sponsor of CAAM’s Student Delegate Program. Selected CAAM Internship Program applicants may qualify for complimentary air travel, courtesy of Southwest Airlines.

Dead Dad came in halfway in the 3-day movie marathon that was prearranged for us in the CAAMFest student delegate program. I was quite apprehensive about the title. It stimulated unlikable expectations in my mind. I was afraid it was going to be melodramatic, or if not, the opposite, a cliché-ish dark comedy. I honestly think that the title has fallen short in representing how relatable this movie is. I was very surprised at how quickly I was sucked into it and how it maintained my interest all throughout while watching. The high quality yet indie look of the cinematography framed the very authentic and realistic performances of the actors. Every actor in it, including the supporting cast, did so well that I almost thought I was part of the scenes, it felt like it was happening right in front of me. It was a cathartic experience almost. What great direction in terms of the acting. I was really curious if the director, Ken Adachi, was an actor himself. Luckily, we, the student delegates, had a chance to interview him, and it turns out he isn’t, but has studied acting in college. I was really surprised to learn that one of the lead actors who played Russell, Kyle Arrington, who also happens to be one of the writers, was a first timer in acting. It’s almost unbelievable. Adachi expressed that there were a lot of improvisations in the process and that the script continued to develop during the shoot. I really think that the movie is what it is because of the exceptional performances of the actors.

There is nothing spectacular in terms of the plot, nothing special really happens except that the main characters, who are siblings, embark on a journey of some sort in the hopes of giving their cremated dead father a proper burial. They fail by the terms of putting the ashes in one place, but they were successful in scattering it in all the places they thought their father would consider important in his life. It’s a whirlwind of emotional breakdowns for each of the characters as they go from one place to the other. They all have their moments of desperate realizations about their own relationship with their dad and most importantly their relationship to one another. This is actually what this movie is all about, the relationship of the siblings. This is why this movie is brilliant and genius, it’s because most people can relate to this theme. It hit me straight on and made me reflect on my own relationship with my siblings. I questioned how close I was to them and if it was possible to have or even begin a good relationship with them. This movie is a gem! I like movies that do not only stimulate me to think but also challenge me emotionally. For more information on the movie please visit http://deaddadmovie.com/. See you on the next CAAMFest!

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Chosen from a large competitive pool of undergraduate and graduate students, the Student Delegates are a small yet diverse group of students who rigorously train at CAAMFest “boot camp.” Under guidance from festival staff, student delegates participate in an intense schedule of music events, cooking events, film screenings, discussions, and exclusive meetings with filmmakers and special guests. The program aims to cultivate the next generation of filmmakers, activists, educators, and community leaders. Check back for blogs from all of the 2013 student delegates!

Southwest Airlines is a proud sponsor of CAAM’s Student Delegate Program. Selected CAAM Internship Program applicants may qualify for complimentary air travel, courtesy of Southwest Airlines.

Jiseul is highly stylized art house, released in nostalgic black and white on the unreal crispness of digital film. But the film’s real power lies in its portrait of a human tragedy that is little if at all recognized in Korea or the United States more than 60 years after the fact. Commissioned by the Jeju Island government, native islander Meul O.’s first feature film attempts to recreate the human experiences of those involved in the 1948 US military ordered Jeju Island massacre with a severity that has long been lost on the rest of the world.

It is hard to pick out any main characters but we come to know certain figures from an accumulation of cutting between loosely connected story arcs. There is a man with a pregnant wife and child who leaves his mother behind, a grunt army recruit who remains silent, a young man with fast legs who believes he can outrun the South Korean army. Dialogue remains limited to trivial bickering amongst the villagers and we’re subject to generalized rants about attacking commies on the military base. At one point, new recruits share a tender moment, both lost and anxious about their youth and new life in the army. Even after realizing their refugee state, the villagers mostly talk of their limited supply of potatoes and going quickly back to their lives in the village after the storm has passed. These are incidences of their absorption in everyday life that are only heightened in poignancy by how helplessly both the young soldiers and villagers are swept up in the senseless brutality that occurs.

Meul O. chooses not the focus on the large scale politics that created this destruction of human life. We are generously given substitutes for character development with stylistic affect to carry the emotionality of the mundane juxtaposed with the unfathomably horrific. Knowing what is in store for them, I could not help but let my heart sink at the wasted time and energy of these on characters complaining about the arduous hike to their cave hideout, or the young man with horse legs whose horror only deepens at peeping in at an unknown young woman raped and murdered in a military tent. He and a friend flee from the base in the silhouette of nighttime and the torso of the dead woman appears cradled in the rise of the hill they are running across. They never find that friend, but their friend more or less the murdered woman, and they will only soon join her.

The film score is as bleak as the weathered forest and smoking, burnt out villages in film. It hits us at those pivotal moments when the villagers finally realize the horror of their situation, or replaces sourced sound entirely when the soldiers are especially murderous. Sometimes the soundtrack becomes too overwhelming, as silence could have adequately served the image if not make it more powerful. But just as this film is not an investigation in on the governmental footwork that lead to the murdered thousands, it is an investigation in making tangible the emotional state of an large scale atrocity whose emotional impact is just harrowing it by nature evades the tangible. If anything, we are made to walk out of the theater with a mournful reverence for those lives lost in the events of Jeju Island 1948.

(For more information about Jiseul, click here)

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Chosen from a large competitive pool of undergraduate and graduate students, the Student Delegates are a small yet diverse group of students who rigorously train at CAAMFest “boot camp.” Under guidance from festival staff, student delegates participate in an intense schedule of music events, cooking events, film screenings, discussions, and exclusive meetings with filmmakers and special guests. The program aims to cultivate the next generation of filmmakers, activists, educators, and community leaders. Check back for blogs from all of the 2013 student delegates!

Southwest Airlines is a proud sponsor of CAAM’s Student Delegate Program. Selected CAAM Internship Program applicants may qualify for complimentary air travel, courtesy of Southwest Airlines.

The hustle and bustle of CAAMFest was an equally foreign but thrilling experience that each person should experience once in his lifetime. From watching over ten films and short showcases in historical theaters across San Francisco to having coffee with filmmakers in Japantown, the festival offered me a week of insights and experiences into not only the film festival world but also the inherent magic of movies and its ability to bring viewers from all walks of life together.

One of my most memorable moments from the festival is attending the screening of Comrade Kim Goes Flying, a British-Belgian-North Korean joint production. On the last day of the festival, on a sunny afternoon, I waited in line outside the historic Great Star Theatre in Chinatown (a haven for kung-fu enthusiasts and other Asian-themed film buffs). The first thing I noticed was that the diverse gathering of people around me was as unique as the film itself. I struck up a conversation with a middle-aged, female Caucasian Sunset district- native and a male South Korean undergrad exchange student who were standing next to me.  We talked about those films from the festival we enjoyed, those that we thought fell short, and those in between. Because we each had differing opinions of the various films we have seen, we were able to share and compare our insights into the cultural, emotional, and existential messages and significance that these movies gave us.

I entered the theater and took a seat near the front, not sure what to expect from this rare collaboration of filmmakers. The host who gave the introduction summed up the film perfectly: it’s “conceived as a fairytale”, but a transnational and transcultural fairytale at that. From the classic Hollywood underdog-story structure, to the two-dimensional animation, and the theme of female empowerment, Comrade Kim utilizes and highlights a range of those timeless aspects of the silver screen that keep audiences returning to the theater no matter what country one identifies with. Undeniably, controversial aspects of North Korean culture and Communistic messages were easily recognizable. Specifically, the importance of collectiveness, the value of a strong spirited working class, the separation of private and public life were heavily present, almost ad nauseam coming from a Western perspective. Despite these historically and culturally-sensitive contentious messages, Comrade Kim Goes Flying  supplied equally,  if not more characteristics of the magic, fantasy, escapism, as well as hope that one searches for when watching a film which transcends all cultural and national boundaries.

The film opens with the line “Wherever we are, we all have dreams”. I feel that both this quote and the film itself serve as a microcosm for not only the film festival at large but also the magic of movies in general. I have more fully realized and appreciated the value that culturally-specific films have to offer audiences in terms of new perspectives and lenses to critically view the world around us, while simultaneously bringing audiences from all backgrounds together. Through the universal and globally humanistic messages of spirit, hope and most importantly, imagination present in Comrade Kim Goes Flying and my experience with CAAMFest, I must confess that I have fallen in love with cinema all over again.

Photo from www.comradekimgoesflying.com/

Chosen from a large competitive pool of undergraduate and graduate students, the Student Delegates are a small yet diverse group of students who rigorously train at CAAMFest “boot camp.” Under guidance from festival staff, student delegates participate in an intense schedule of music events, cooking events, film screenings, discussions, and exclusive meetings with filmmakers and special guests. The program aims to cultivate the next generation of filmmakers, activists, educators, and community leaders. Check back for blogs from all of the 2013 student delegates!

Southwest Airlines is a proud sponsor of CAAM’s Student Delegate Program. Selected CAAM Internship Program applicants may qualify for complimentary air travel, courtesy of Southwest Airlines.

One of the highlights of the week was spending time getting to know “fellow fellows” Derek Nguyen and Ernesto Foronda (unfortunately, Eric Lin couldn’t attend). Filmmaking can be a lonely pursuit, so it’s inspiring to connect with other like-minded artists who, despite challenges, continue to dream, persevere and find creative ways to make work.  As a group of mid-career artists, we shared our experiences and spoke candidly about the ups and downs of our respective careers. One of our mentors, Angela Cheng Caplan, asked us to reflect on basic but essential questions:

-What do you want?
-What do you want to achieve?
-What are you most proud of?
-What are you most proud of that you’ve achieved?
-Why are you doing this?
-What are the obstacles that stand in your way?
-What is not working?
-What is working?

While these questions may seem simple, they resonated with me in a profound way.  In part, it was because Angela asked the questions with genuine interest and compassion.  She asked each of us to be honest with ourselves. It’s so easy to get on the filmmaking treadmill and loose touch with oneself never stopping to ask: Why am I doing this? And what do I want?

Under the leadership of Karin Chien and Sapana Sakya, the CAAM fellowship has been meaningful in many tangible ways—I’ve met talented fellow filmmakers, connected with a fabulous mentor (Claire Aguilar/ ITVS) and feel supported on my upcoming documentary projects, LOOKING FOR ADVENTURE and NINETY-FIVE AND SIX TO GO.  But, the fellowship has also offered important intangibles; it has provided space for me to pause and reflect and has also challenged me to tackle both external and internal obstacles so I can better realize my creative goals.

Tom Xia took a very bold dare with challenging an American family, The Jones survive a whole entire month in December with out any products made from China. The documentary was filled with humorous moments that would get the audience laughing. But there were also many scenes that were extremely self reflective for Tom and The Jones. Tom had the big question, and took steps in answering those questions. Along the way, he learned something new about himself which was the cherry on top to his project. The parallel between the Xia family and the Jones was perfect. The Xia family was shown attempting to assimilate more into the American culture while preserving their own strong Chinese heritage. The Jones learned more about the definition of Christmas aside from materialistic objects that surround us each day.

The big issue of this documentary was the callback on toys from China. Parents everywhere are concerned about the toys that their children interact with everyday. The Jones did go through a slump at times, when it came to buying Christmas gifts or let alone light up their house. They became frustrated and impatient and realized the cost of this challenge was more than just dollar signs. It began to crush their spirits about Christmas. But in the end, they learned that being together as a family is what matters the most. And through this challenge, they came through a realization for the better of their family. Also, they made a great life long friendship with the Xiaʼs.

It was very interesting to see this side of the documentary because I personally have never fully celebrated Christmas just like the Jones. It made me think about what the meaning of Christmas meant to my family and me. Personally, I felt much more relatable to Tom because I felt like I was in the same position as him. As an American born Chinese, I am in a constant link between the world and to my parents. Just like Tom, they expect me to help them translate and explain to others in order to communicate. Tom may never felt exactly torn between his two identities, but knew it was important to maintain both sides because that is a part of who he is.

This documentary shows the reality of consumerism. It gives a perspective of how much consumerism has taken over our lives. I loved this documentary because it address issues that most people are not aware about. I think it would be a great film to show in lectures. It is also enjoyable to watch because it has such a personal flare to it. The audience is able to connect with the film rather than just filtering in information. I have already contacted my professors and told them about the documentary. XMAS WITHOUT CHINA is already a hit within CAAMFEST, but letʼs take it to the next level!

It was also a great experience talking to Tom Xia and asking him questions about the documentary. He told us some of the challenges he went through in going with the filming. He also mentioned that he tried his best not to be too involved in the film, the but the story line intertwined beautifully. I think Tomʼs story and the Joneʼs story is a great step for people to start to accept and understand the different cultures. That beauty of America is not just black and white, but it is interwoven.

XMAS WITHOUT CHINA directed by Tom Xia

Chosen from a large competitive pool of undergraduate and graduate students, the Student Delegates are a small yet diverse group of students who rigorously train at CAAMFest “boot camp.” Under guidance from festival staff, student delegates participate in an intense schedule of music events, cooking events, film screenings, discussions, and exclusive meetings with filmmakers and special guests. The program aims to cultivate the next generation of filmmakers, activists, educators, and community leaders. Check back for blogs from all of the 2013 student delegates!

Southwest Airlines is a proud sponsor of CAAM’s Student Delegate Program. Selected CAAM Internship Program applicants may qualify for complimentary air travel, courtesy of Southwest Airlines.

Deepa Mehta, the director of the Academy Award nominated film “Water” tells this story through film in such a passionate manner. As I watched this film, I was intrigued by the vivid colors, crystal clear images, and the enchanting Indian music.

“Midnight’s Children” is about two boys switched at birth by a nurse, so that “the poor could be rich, and the rich poor.” Saleem is the first of the enchanted children born between midnight and 1 AM on August 15, 1947, the exact moment of India’s Independence. For some historical context, the Indian Independence Act of 1947 resulted in the termination of the British Indian Empire and the close of the British Raj. This led to a struggle between the newly established states of India and Pakistan. Thus, an atmosphere of mutual hostility and suspicion was created between India and Pakistan, which still continues to this day. This film is a story broken into various time frames that capture a span of many years in the 20th century.

Saleem and Shiva, who was originally born to the wealthy Sinai family, grow to become eternal rivals. Saleem has the greatest power of all of the midnight children—he can communicate telepathically and bring all of the children together throughout years of change and political disarray. Saleem triumphs as a success story because of his belief and hope that love can overcome the divisions that split India from Pakistan and Bangladesh. He believes that the children’s purpose is to bring together all of India’s people.

The cinematography of this film is just amazing. There are shots of pure water in contrast with the vibrant sky. There is another shot with silhouette birds against the sunset. There are also cuts to shots of buffalos and lizards, which were not planned, but found when in the heat of filming to add artistic context to the film. The music is intense, and there are scenes that were overwhelmingly sensual, all of which delineates the essence of living. We live to enjoy and to feel with all five of our senses, which this film captivates well. One quote from the movie goes something like this: “Sometimes emotions are turned into food to express what you feel, and then are transferred to the other person so that they too can feel.” The costumes worn by the wealthy Sinai family reflect the cultural extravagance of Indian culture. The cinematography, costumes, and color palette of “Midnight’s Children” intertwine well, I must say.

“Midnight’s Children” reminds me of the film “Slumdog Millionaire”. Both reflect a uniquely distinct yet welcoming culture, filled with emotion, music, and intense scenes that just invite the viewer into a breathtaking new world. The characters’ way of life is just so artistic and cultural, in that traditions remain traditions and are passed down perpetually. On a similar note, this film presents the idea of finding our homes and families. Maybe our families aren’t necessarily the people we were born to. Where do we really belong? It is up to us to find our fate and place in society, where we will meet our real family by fate.

During the Q&A after the film screening, we learn that Deepa is a passionate and organic director who lets her actors play and feel the space, which is captured on camera. “Deepa feels emotions more than anyone else,” one of the lead actors proclaimed. “She finds true emotion out of truth and won’t leave set without it”. I aspire to be a filmmaker like her because I am really into the whole cultural and traditional theme, the diaspora, and the conflict between countries that shape one into who they are. This is the epitome of an artistic film bound by the struggles and ties of being born as who one is born to be and how one grows from the enthralling imperfection of his or her cultural roots. This film is a must watch if you want immerse yourself into an enchanting world!

That’s it from me, Mei Sze Phung, student delegate! Hope you enjoyed CAAMFest!

Chosen from a large competitive pool of undergraduate and graduate students, the Student Delegates are a small yet diverse group of students who rigorously train at CAAMFest “boot camp.” Under guidance from festival staff, student delegates participate in an intense schedule of music events, cooking events, film screenings, discussions, and exclusive meetings with filmmakers and special guests. The program aims to cultivate the next generation of filmmakers, activists, educators, and community leaders. Check back for blogs from all of the 2013 student delegates!

Southwest Airlines is a proud sponsor of CAAM’s Student Delegate Program. Selected CAAM Internship Program applicants may qualify for complimentary air travel, courtesy of Southwest Airlines.

“If memories are food for the soul then home movies are the bread crumbs we drop to find our way home.”

– opening lines, Memories to Light (Closing Night Presentation)

Memories to Light was an intimate, deeply affecting closing to CAAMFest.  Master filmmaker Mark Decena plunged deeply into personal history as he introduced CAAM’s new and ambitious project – digitizing, archiving and contextualizing home movies shot on film.  Light triggered memories triggered emotion and resonance.  The past is never past, and recovering it can bring new depths to the present moment.  Decena’s parents were in the audience; making the event an especially poignant one for him and all of us, as witnesses.  Parents are such powerful forces for any of us; their presence and sometimes absences place imprints, archetypal imprints, on our hearts and souls.  Decena says he was inspired by the live-narrated documentaries of Sam Green.  He told the story of his parents, whom he described as carrying a “war inside.”  His Filipino father met and fell in love with his Japanese mother while he was stationed in Japan during the Korean conflict – just a few years after their respective countries were engaged in bitter and brutal war.  The home movies showcased happy moments of childhood.  Here, his father embracing and kissing his mother; then, humorously, a very young Decena and his brother copying them.  Happy times were more poignant as Decena revealed that conflicts drew his parents apart.  His mother planted roots in the Bay Area, and raised three children with love, care and hard work.  (Blake Everhart was the editor, and Davin Agatep provided music for Memories to Light, which is a brainchild of E.D. Stephen Gong.)

Love and war are like battling Titans on this Earth and in our hearts.  This is not an abstraction; this is our reality.  We see them in grand epic (Salim Sinai and Shiva in MIDNIGHT’S CHILDREN, or even the “blue and red energy” of ASTRO BOY) and in the work of many of our artists.  It’s a strange and combustible pairing; so difficult to carry, and sometimes, even to survive.  War and conflict seem to arise spontaneously and all too frequently; love has to be tended, cultivated, strengthened.  So much artistic and community work is literally a “labor of love”.  CAAM and CAAMFest illuminate the stories that emerge from the fires of creation and conflict, and each year, we tip the scales towards light, love, and acceptance, inspired by artists like Mark Decena.

Part of the light emerges in “lightness” and humor – in NICE GIRLS CREW (written and directed by Christine Kwon, who is leaving CAAM this year – but I’m sure will be making return appearances at CAAMFest), and narratives like SUNSET STORIES (winner of the Emerging Filmmaker award for directors Ernesto Foronda and Silas Howard) and SOMEONE I USED TO KNOW.  Ample darkness (JISEUL, LAND OF HOPE) is tinged with subtle light (MEMORIES OF FORGOTTEN WAR), and sometimes, there is a star-birth (LINSANITY).  We experience the dawn of understanding, as filmmakers bring curiosity, thoughtfulness and years of work and dedication to difficult topics, as Debbie Lum did with SEEKING ASIAN FEMALE (winner of the Jury Prize for Best Documentary).  And we can literally feel the light, as characters struggle to connect through their wounds (DEAD DAD, winner of the Jury Prize for Best Narrative Feature).  As Leonard Cohen sings, “there’s a crack in everything.  It’s where the light comes in.”  Light emerges from the broken places, and the places of hope and vision.  Even when we portray darkness, or simply seek to entertain, we’re hoping that a spark of light, life and connection emerges in the consciousness of the viewer.  Our main job as human beings may be to be alchemists of light.  Put that on your business cards.

(INHERITANCE directed by Aggie Ebrahimi Bazaz won the Loni Ding Award for Social Issues Documentary, and if previous years are a precedent, the film will be available online at CAAMedia.org for a short time later this year.)

The festival itself is light.  YouTube and streaming video offer ways for artists to get their work in front of viewers instantaneously, at low cost and practically without friction – but nothing can replace the real world experience of the theater, for either the artist or the audience.  Add to that the irreplaceable, warm engagement with the smiling volunteers and staff of CAAMFest, and you have something very special indeed.  I have a home movie in my mind of these moments of connection.  Call it “Dim Sum:  A Little Bit of Heart” or, since that’s taken, “The Chai Luck Club”.  Bread crumbs to find our way home, indeed.

Something emerges from CAAMFest – renewal, solidarity, aspiration, inspiration, awareness, community, empowerment.  And even after seeing all these great films, I know there’s someone out there thinking “you ain’t seen nothin’ yet.  I’ve got a story to tell.”

Stories to light.  I can’t wait to see what you come up with next.

Ravi Chandra, M.D. is a psychiatrist and writer in San Francisco.  You can find more of his writing and performance  at www.RaviChandraMD.com, where he invites you to sign up for an occasional newsletter.   His Pacific Heart blog is at Psychology Today, http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-pacific-heart.  On Twitter he is @going2peace.

Soon to be festless and restless, I journeyed to J-town and KQED for the last few events of an incredible CAAMFest experience.  The movies, as usual, have been profound – entertaining, gritty, artful, inspirational and moving.  Each year brings me to a deeper place.  It’s a trueing process, bringing the wheels into alignment.  No matter how much I eat at the table of Asian American experience, I’m always starving for more.  We CAAMFesters are insatiable.  Films are food – food for thought and heart, and food for the road that we must travel.

Food.  Momofuku’s David Chang was on KQED as I drove, walking back the dog a bit on his controversial and by self-admission, drunken, comments on California Cuisine (“every restaurant in San Francisco is just serving figs on a plate.”  For more Chang, read this article.  But he again said things that turned my stomach a bit – that California and the Bay Area, while being innovative socially and technologically, did not challenge the status quo of food significantly.  And what precisely is the status quo of food that must be challenged?  As a doctor, I would say obesity, diabetes, processed, unhealthy and fast food – and the fact that millions of people in this country and abroad are starving every day.  And the Bay Area has challenged this status quo in many ways, from Alice Waters and organic food to Eric Mar and the Board of Supervisors tangling with McDonald’s over toys in Happy Meals.  And people like Anamika Khanna of Kasa Indian Eatery and Denise Tran of Bun Mee challenge the status quo by making healthy Asian cuisine with quality ingredients at an affordable price.  This is not even to mention all the restaurateurs and activists pushing for food evolution and innovation through pop-ups, farmers markets, school nutrition and food options for the less fortunate.  If you want to make this a competition, David, I’m sure the Bay Area is up for a challenge.  I’ll warn you in advance, though – both Denise and Anamika both started out as lawyers.  The defense rests.

Food.  I attended the Cook Salons (Mixing Masala and Bitter(Sweet))and learned about food startups in Chai, Chocolates and Sauces.  Three entrepreneurial women spoke about turning their sweet, bittersweet and spicy culinary dreams into reality.  Paawan Kothari of The Chai Cart spoke of dissatisfaction working at IBM in marketing; she chose a route of personal engagement, starting with a bike-drawn chai trailer to now three Chai Cart locations and a place on Whole Food’s Shelves.  Wendy Lieu of Socola (chocolate in Vietnamese) and Lisa Murphy of Sosu spoke about their processes in making their foods.  There was a common thread in all of experimentation, gradients of flavor and innovation by skillfully combining unique ingredients.  I don’t think that’s particular to the Asian American experience, but it is resonant with it, food as metaphor and symbol.  The real story, as in film, is who’s on screen, behind the camera, or at the wheel of their own venture. What we do with our agency.  As far as food goes, I’m more of a consumer than a producer, so I was really grateful for a look behind the scenes.

Grace Lee (The Grace Lee Project and an anticipated film about activist Grace Lee Boggs) will be behind the wheel of a new PBS documentary on Asian American food, tentatively called “Asian Chops”.  (Ugh.  I hope a better title comes out of the oven.)  Well over a hundred community members gathered at KQED to give their feedback and insights on the topic, as well as hear from Lee, private chef and food writer Marc Matsumoto, Louise Lo of KQED and Tim Luym of The Attic who also provided amazing food for the event.  The panel was moderated by Leslie Sbracco of “Check Please Bay Area” who noted that her job makes her “work her ass on!”  Grace Lee prefaced the panel by saying that “food is palatable to all people, and is a conduit to unexpected stories.”  Marc noted food was a comfort and connection to his single mother who taught cooking classes at their home to make ends meet.  His interest in food was rekindled when he lived in New York and realized food could bring people together.  “Food is a road map to get back to my heritage and roots.”  Tim said “food can bridge the gap between fortunate and less fortunate people…it can be art.”  He strives to “not waste food and making it with integrity.”  “Food, art, culture – it’s all language.”

I had no idea that there were master street chefs who adjusted their curries for the humidity.  We talk about dishes made with love, and experience food as an ingredient or even cause for connection.  “Food is family and friends,” no doubt, but it’s also discipline, perfectionism and care to professionals and many home chefs.  It’s also a venue for recombination (potato chip papadum, bulgogi scramble, kimchi benedict) and potential offense.  Chino Latino, a Minneapolis restaurant has a reputation for edgy – read racist – advertising.  They market themselves as “street food from the hot zones.”  They have a picture of an Asian woman with the tagline “Sexy Pictures” on their homepage http://www.chinolatino.com.  “See what’s hot.”  I hope that the KQED series can do some work with how racism bends our forks, so to speak. Fork you, Chino Latino.

Why does even food have to tick us off sometimes?

I guess it’s what’s on our plate.  I’m glad there are healthier options available.

Ravi Chandra, M.D. is a psychiatrist and writer in San Francisco.  You can find more of his writing and performance (including some of his food and culture based poems) atwww.RaviChandraMD.com, where he invites you to sign up for an occasional newsletter.   His Pacific Heart blog is at Psychology Today, http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-pacific-heart.  On Twitter he is @going2peace.

We got down with brown last night at the Asian Art Museum for the premiere of Dosa Hunt, Amrit Singh’s short doc/rock/mock-umentary about a Magnificent 7 of Starving Musicians on a hunt for a dosa treat.  Singh said the film was inspired by a tweet-stream started by Rostam Batmanglij, who wrote that he was eating an “arugula and jack cheese dosa in a Soho restaurant named after the Hamptons.”  What?!  This tweet-stream turned into an email thread, and the bros decided that a filmed road trip through the boroughs was in order.  Singh and his mother decorated a minibus to look like an Indian disco (using materials bought in Chinatown, natch), and took to the streets.  The movie was hip, a blend of music videos, great music, and goofy guy-talk that worked well.  They rate the dosas on a “Bobby Jindal scale.”  The fewer Bobby Jindals the better – “because Bobby Jindal is bad!”  The best dosas get negative Bobby Jindals – or positive Bobby Jindals in an alternate universe where Bobby Jindal does good.  Singh also relates how a tattoo artist friend agreed to do the awesome Bollywood-style poster for the film – the artist turned out to be the son of a famous Bollywood poster artist.

South Indian dosa was a New York discovery for Singh, as his family originates from Punjab, in North India.  I’ve grown up with dosa my entire life, so was glad to see an homage (sans fromage and arugula) to my favorite comfort food.  They just needed to give my Mom and her dosa pan a cameo, to really send it over the top.  One of the musician’s mothers makes an appearance via cell-phone, but it wasn’t enough to give it the full home-grown feel.  The film connected to dosa as a restaurant thing – but to me, it’s something that Mom makes.  Something that she always reminds you that she can make better at home.  I would have liked to see a little interview with one of the cooks – maybe there’s a dosa philosophy out there that needs to be discovered?  Or something more about the origin of the dosa, a la Sita Bhaumik’s curry explorations at the Asian Art Museum’s Baat Cheet in 2011 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cZ6aYUDcVHU).  Maybe the Epic Dosa Hunt is still to be made, in sequels.

But starving artists having fun with each other, in search of a meal and a connection to the diaspora – what’s not to love?  Topped off by a performance by Indian Bastards from Hell, it was a great event.  It was the perfect confection of film, music and food – the themes of CAAMFest.

As I mentioned in Memoirs of a Superfan, Vol. 8.5:  I Remember Midnight, dosa is not only the name of the South Indian crepe usually filled with spicy potatoes and onions, but also the Pali word for “anger, hatred or aversion.”  That CANNOT be just coincidence.  I think that more of the former is the cure for the latter.  So next time you get angry, settle it over dosa.

“Dosa or dosa?”
The docent asks.
They’re like the nio at the gate,
always on the menu of the mind.
One with mouth open, the hungry “ah”
at the beginning of life,
One with mouth closed, the angry mind.
They welcome and protect,
Inspecting newcomers carefully.
“I’ll have one of each,” I decide.

You need a bit of fire to co
Warmth to digest,
Food to keep you on the path,
And moods to defend.

**Bonus Track:  The Dosa Rap

Brown bros in the boroughs just looking for a dosa
They found one in Soho that was made with arugula
They tried to make their own, in the end it was no-go
So they tricked out a minibus, made it look like a disco.
On the road they went, makin’ music for the big show.

 How many Jindals went down?  How many Bobby’s did it rate?
BJ’s a bro too – but he’s one we love to hate!
That’s alright, Bobby – maybe you’ll come ‘round –
Have a dosa with us, man, and listen to our sound.
The bros ate dosa, with masala and potato –
Made a movie that was fresh, and we ate it up in ‘Frisco.
New York to SF, the motherland to Hollywood –
The Brown man can travel, we’re not just for Bollywood.

 Stay Angry, CAAMFest!  (Sorry, I guess I had to add cheese after all!)

Ravi Chandra, M.D. is a psychiatrist and writer in San Francisco.  You can find more of his writing and performance at www.RaviChandraMD.com, where he invites you to sign up for an occasional newsletter.   His Pacific Heart blog is at Psychology Today, http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-pacific-heart.  On Twitter he is @going2peace.