Chronicwriter

515. Anya's diary

2012-05-23T12:23:00.005+05:30

My name is Anya. I am the daughter of Chronicwriter.

Note to all ladies : If my pappa is sight adichufying anyone; please let me know. i will escalate the matter to my mom.

As I am a small baby, I will not be able to write long posts like my dad. So I will be writing short posts with some pictures of mine.

1) My dad creates noise all the time. He calls that singing. He tries to put me to sleep by creating that noise. Sometimes I sleep. But when I can't bear his noise, I cry out loud and he keeps quiet. He is a strict dad.

2) This is my dad. You might be knowing him. But anyways, it is my duty to introduce him. They say that he is 30 years old. But still he jumps around like a teenager.

3) I am a fashion model and my dad is a fashion designer.

4) I heard that he pulls my leg on his blog and on facebook. This is my first and last warning to him.

5) My worst experience in this world.

With this post, I have become the youngest ever blogger. I am 6 days old.

- Anya (Chronicwriter II )

514. I am a dad now

2012-05-22T21:41:00.001+05:30

At 5 am on the 18th of May 2012, I got a call from my wife. My wife was at her parents' place which was more than 500 kms away from Chennai. I was sleeping when she called me. Half asleep, I picked her call and this is how the conversation went.

She : Pa, I think, I am gonna deliver our baby now (She calls me Pa)
Me : Wow! That's good news.

and I hung up. I went back to sleep. She called me again

She : Paaaaaa, I TOLD YOU THAT I AM GONNA DELIVER OUR BABY ANYTIME TODAY. THE WATER BROKE.

That raised tone woke me up completely. No husband would dare to sleep after such a raised tone. I am no exception.

Me: Whaaat? Our baby is gonna be born today? Can she stay inside the tummy till the IPL finals get over?

There was silence at the other end. I knew that if I asked any more silly questions, I would have to face a loud symphony. But how do I reach her place on time? The only available flight was the infamous King fisher airlines. When I went online to book a ticket, there was only one seat left on the plane; I booked the ticket immediately. When I boarded the flight, almost all the seats were empty. The local town bus was lot better. The push back in my seat was not working. The air hostess came to me and asked "Sir, Do you want to buy food?"

The "BUY" part seemed suspicious to me; but still I ended up buying the Non-Veg puff. After eating the cold puff, i realized that there was no meat in the puffs. Vijay Mallya might have used the meat to pay for the losses incurred. The captain must have had a bout of fits when he landed the plane. The plane hopped three times before it came to a halt. As soon as I landed, I switched on my phone and I got a call from my mom with the news that I had become the father of a beautiful baby girl. I became numb and thanked God for the amazing gift he has given me and my wife. Then I updated my status message and rushed to the hospital.

As I walked into the hospital room, the nurse gave me a bundle and there I saw my baby inside the bundle. She was sleeping peacefully. I am not able express that feeling through words here. That is in fact the best feeling I have ever had in my life. She was a little shy of 3 kilos.

Every thirty years a new member enters our family. 1892 - Selvanayagam(my great grandpa)
1922- Robin( my grandpa)
1952 - David ( my dad)
1982 - Prason (Me)
2012 - Anya (My daughter)

Hope Anya would break this record in future. The life of little Anya is something everyone would yearn for. The following flow chart explains her lifestyle.

Henry David once said " Every child begins the world again." Yes, Anya has changed my world yet again. There will be a new series in this blog dedicated for my Anya.

Note: I am still contemplating whether I should use the pet name RENU for my princess Anya.

When my wife told my little doll that her dad is a humor blogger, this was her reaction. This was her first smile too. A poker faced one.

-Chronicwriter

513. Dangerous IPL conversations

2012-05-15T23:24:00.002+05:30

Pictures speak louder than words. Just check these pictures. This post has lot of Tamil conversations. So if you do not understand Tamil, please use google translate software.

-Chronicwriter

512. IPL5- Cricket Ground Experience

2012-05-02T13:04:00.001+05:30

30 April 2012 is a memorable day in my life. A friend of mine rang me up and said " lets go to the cricket stadium to watch the match between CSK and KKR". I was thrilled because that was going to be my first IPL match at the stadium. So after work, the car raised towards the Chepauk stadium. The atmosphere was electrifying. We got a wonderful place to sit and I realized that watching a cricket match in a stadium is way better than watching it on TV.

The excitement factor is all that makes the difference. The chants, the mexican waves that were totally asynchronous and the yellow color jerseys, the placards, the facepaints, the dances, the flags - they all brought a piece of excitement for everyone in the stadium.

Being an ardent Chennai Super Kings Fan, I was proud to wear the yellow jersey and sit in the crowd full of CSK supporters. But call it pure evil plotting by the organizers, a bunch of KKR supporters ended up sitting behind me. All of them were Bengali girls.

The match started and Chennai was asked to bat. I eagerly waited for some huge sixes from the great Chennai batting line up. Raina scored one and and that too just cleared the boundary line by a small margin. No huge sixes to the stands and that was a bit of disappointment.

Brett Lee was standing near the boundary line fielding for KKR and we made fun of him. But he was such a sport. He was very quick too. His fielding was great and he had such a strong throwing arm. No wonder he stood in the boundary. In one of his dives, he pants tore and we can see his whole legs through the slit. He started to plead with Gambhir to allow him to go to the dressing room and change. But Ghambir told him NO. The naughty Yusuf Pathan started teasing Brett Lee and it was a sight to see. These incidents would have never been caught on camera and those who watched the match on TV sets would have definitely missed these actions.

How could I ever write about IPL without a mention about the cheer girls. There were 4 platforms near the boundary at four corners of the ground. In two of these platforms KKR cheer girls were dancing and in the other two platforms CSK cheergroup danced. They danced for everything. Suddenly mid way through the CSK innings, drums shivmani made his entrance and there was a big roar in the crowd. He would carry his drums and go from one platform to another and he started playing drums from each of these platforms.

When someone from the crowd appeared on the big screen, they became hysterical. Some painted their faces in all colors. Some had painted their bodies. Some had different color wigs. One such person was mistook by a few for Mallinga. Some had placards in their hands. A poor little girl held a placard through out the match with hopes of appearing in the big screen. The bad camera man did not even capture a glimpse of her. She was very sad.

Around the 12th over of the CSK innings, the girls behind me started to cry out loud as if they all had a sudden attack of dysentery. I turned around and saw some of them crying and some of them going berserk with their hand-leg-body movements. One girl almost fainted. I was shocked for a moment and I thought some weird virus had attacked them. But when I saw them closely, I noticed that all of them were looking in one direction of the stands. I looked at that direction and I found the virus which caused all this. Yes SRK had made his appearance to the stadium. This is what IPL is all about. World class cricketers playing a wonderful game of cricket and girls in the stands ogling at SRK in the stands.

One know-it-all old man was sitting in front of me and he was saying something or the other. When Hussey was run out he said that the match was fixed. Then when Raina got out he said that IPL was just like WWE wrestling where everything is pre-planned. I felt like pushing him down from the stands. But when I saw that he good muscles, I controlled myself.

CSK did not score a big total and KKR chased them easily. The guys who sold snacks made merry. One cup of coke was sold at 40 bucks. Dry chappathy with cabbage inside it was sold for 50 bucks. It was nightlight robbery. But still we bought those and ate it.

Finally when the match ended, the KKR supporters had the last laugh; but still we were not really sad. When we made our exit, we felt like leaving a movie hall. The presentation party was going on. Dhoni was called to speak and he started his speech with the words

"Well Actually" ...

-chronicwriter

511. Bloody Love Letter

2012-05-01T11:39:00.001+05:30

Do you want to win the Love of your sweetheart?
Is she ignoring you all this while?
Are you in this one-sided-love battle for years?

If the answer to the above three questions is Yes, then you are in the big group of men who are not successful in converting their one sided love into two sided love. This post might help you to come out of your Single Status.

It has been a long time since I wrote about my kindergarten girl friend Renu. This article will silence that long gap. I was in class 8 then. We were all in our early teens. Renu was the most beautiful girl in my class. If you are a regular reader of this blog, you might know that I loved Renu and she was in love with a guy called Shabir. Yes! Shabir was the biggest villain of my school life.

Till class 8 we all mingled well with the fairer member of the human species. But suddenly there was a change in the manner in which the boys looked at the girls and vice versa. The girls and boys had trouble to have a conversation freely. Many love stories bloomed during that time. How ever I was an early bloomer. Remember; my love life bloomed when I was in kindergarten.

When I entered 8th grade, I decided to make Renu - mine. Sometimes I even thought of murdering Shabir. Shabir was the geek in the class and all the girls loved him and so did Renu.

I was the prankster in class and was a member of the varutha padaadha vaalibar sangam. Yes only the boys liked my jokes. The girls would often write complaints against me and hand it over to the class teacher. Some of the complaints are

Miss! Chriz is eating our lunch
Miss! Chriz broke my pen
Miss! Chriz poured water in our bags
Miss! Chriz hit me with a chalk piece
Miss! Chriz is copying from me
Miss! Chriz pulled my hair

The list was a long one. But none of this complaints deterred me from my evergreen love for Renu. I tried many means to win Renu's heart. Nothing worked. So I decided to do the unthinkable. Yes, I decided to pen a love letter to Renu with my blood. So that night when everyone was asleep, I slipped into the kitchen and flicked the knife and came to my room. I took a piece of paper and just when I was about to cut my wrist to collect blood for writing the love letter, I got reminded of the bloody gory scene I saw on TV. Immediately I stopped the act. But still I decided to go ahead with the plan but with a twist in it.

I again went into the kitchen and saw a maggi tomato sauce bottle (Yes I am giving free advertisement to Maggi) I grabbed the bottle and did this

I slept off in peace. The next day morning, when I woke up, my hands were swollen. and they were full of ants.

Moral of the story : Ants like Tomato Sauce

To read my first ever love letter that I wrote in kindergarten - Click this [link]

-Chronicwriter

510. When the wife is not at home

2012-04-25T12:51:00.002+05:30

I love cooking and it is one of my favorite hobbies (just like writing). Staying alone for more than ten years made me to learn cooking. The chicken dishes are my favorite. My favorite pass time is " the cooking party" I used to throw for my friends.

When ever I am bored , I call my friends home and cook for them. Indeed, I make them cut vegetables and also help me in the cooking process.

After I got married, I stopped entering the kitchen. My wife took control of that portion of the house. Yes we have territories in our house that we don't entertain each other to enter. The computer is my territory.

The Television is a shared commodity - both of us are not much into television. Even when we watch anything on TV, it would be some News channel or sports.

One great bonding place is the balcony at home. Sitting together in the balcony early in the morning and sipping hot coffee indeed helps a couple to share a special bond. If you have not tried it, try it with your better half.

When the woman of the house goes onsite, many husbands have a gala time. Sometimes, the men start flirting with other women. Sometimes they bring home their friends and start drinking. Usually when the husband is alone at home for a week or two, the house becomes unclean and messed up.

In my case, I resorted to cooking again. After a long gap, I started cooking again. Last night , I called home a few of my friends and made pepper chicken for them. Though my specialty is Fried chicken and Chicken masala, Pepper chicken came out very well too. My friends had a good time and there was fun and laughter.

Rice + Dhal masala +Pepper chicken + vegetable salad + mango pickle = Mouth watering jalsa Dinner.

All this said and done, when all the friends left home, It was all empty again. Yes I miss my wife. Three more days and I'll see her.

Recipe

Smash garlic cloves (10) with a hammer, and fry the garlic cloves in a pan. Frying in ghee gives a good smell
Add sliced onion (1) , vertically cut chilies (4), curry leaves (20-25) in the frying pan and saute them
Now add chicken pieces (1 Kilogram) in the pan and mix the mixture. Simmer the fire (If it is induction stove lower the induction temp to 600) and close the pan with a lid for 10 minutes
Open the lid and add turmeric powder, a pinch of salt and mix the contents. Cook till the water dries
Add soya sauce (2 table spoon)and mix the contents. Add salt to taste - This is the secret ingredient of pepper chicken
Now add two heaped table spoons of pepper and toss the pan. Garnish with coriander leaves
Squeeze half lime

Pepper chicken is ready.

Cooking time : 30 minutes .

Serve along with : Chappathy / Bread / Dosa / Rice with Dhal

-Chronicwriter

509. I know everything; You know Nothing

2012-04-12T15:06:00.000+05:30

We are living in an information age where there is dearth of information. Back those days, when someone told something new everyone would sit around that person and listen eagerly. But today with the advent of internet and the availability of huge amount of information on the web, anyone can access anything and get an idea about any topic.

People who do not know anything about cricket, can just spend sometime online and get enough information to involve in discussions on IPL. Internet has given birth to many such souls. Gone were the days when information was available from only few sources. In the past when the knowledgeable people spoke others listened to them; but now even when a knowledgeable person speaks, another person who has just a pinch of information on the same subject also joins the conversation as if he knows the subject in totality.

Everybody these days want to express themselves but nobody wants to listen to others. Communication is an art that will be effective only if a person listens to understand the other person's views and then answers that. But today no one bothers to know what the other person is trying to communicate; everybody just want to talk.

Facebook and Twitter are two places where everyone just posts something thinking that the whole world will agree with them. Every writer who picks up a pen and paper thinks that he is Shakespeare and tries to force his writings on others.

On 11th April 2012, a Big earthquake hit the shores of Sumatra and the aftershocks were felt in Chennai also. I was talking with a colleague of mine when I saw the table moving. More than anything Twitter and Facebook were the most affected places because of the earthquake. Till the earthquake news spread around, everybody were talking as if they knew everything about cricket.. Now everyone are discussing about the intricate details about earthquakes and tsunamis. If Google and wikipedia sites go down for a week, the world will be more calmer.

The second most affected species were the couples who romance in the beach sands. The cops chased them away. They cursed the Tsunami and left the place. More than the Tsunami, the media people created major havoc by saying that a big Tsunami is gonna hit Chennai.

Finally just when the Tsunami was about to Hit the chennai shores, our one and only Gabtun jumped into the scene. If he had jumped a little more, the sea would have dried up.

-Chronicwriter

508. Are you a Cross Dresser?

2012-04-04T15:17:00.002+05:30

Why am I starting this blog post with a stiletto? Many would say that it is a bad omen to start a post with a seruppu (footwear). You might also think who actually owns this pair of stilettos. Would you believe that these are footwear for men? You gotta believe me because stilletos for men have entered the fashion Industry and the Indian fashion fraternity has embraced it too.( If you do not believe me, Google it yourself). Now, no one can say that a certain footwear is meant for women and a certain footwear is for men. At this rate everything will be used by everyone irrespective of gender differences.

Women might still argue and say that men cannot wear skirts and wrap-around. But hold on a second, even before women declared that skirts and wrap-around belong to the female species, the men had already started using it.

The Roman men always wore short skirts and South Indian men also wear a wrap around. They call it lungi. So even in dressing style, women cannot say that men cannot wear a certain dress.

Now some women might say "what about sarees? It can be worn only by women". But history proves that long before the saree was introduced to women Samana Munivars (Yogis) in India wore sarees. Vivekananda is always clad in Samana Saree.
So what exactly is cross dressing? There are certain wears that are designed for certain private parts of men and women. Such attires are not supposed to be inter-worn. The Bible forbids cross dressing of this kind.

Is a trouser, shorts, T shirt, pants an attire for men or women? The question remains unanswered. What ever be the case, as long as we don't scare the dogs and cover our body with clothes we need not worry about who wears what. This post is not gonna bring a change in the mindset of people. But at least it will make some of you to dream for a better future. Let us make our country proud

Note : If you find any relevance for the inclusion of the last two lines in the above paragraph, please tell me. I forgot why I added it here in the first place

507. How can we make this world a better place?

2012-03-29T14:30:00.001+05:30

Some people are misfits in a group. They don't really fit in; but still they are kept in the group for reasons best known to nobody.

Examples are Sreesanth in the Indian cricket team; Poonam Pandey in the modelling Industry; Arnab Gowsami in the News Media industry; Ravi Shastri and Navjot Singh in the commentary box; T Rajender in the movie Industry; Sania Mirza in Tennis; Chronicwriter in the Blogging Industry; Corrupt Ministers in the Parliament ( I am not gonna name anyone here) ; Andhra Ministers who watch Porn ( As if all the others who are reading this blog have not seen porn at all) etc...

Just like these misfit people, we have many things that we seldom use on a daily basis. Some of these things are mentioned in this post. You can also add some of the unused things in the comments section.

1) The Treadmill or the Underwear drier

The treadmill becomes an integral part of every household that could afford it. The buyer of this equipment is anyone who has a thoppai (pout). The walking machine is bought with a sole purpose to burn some calories and to reduce weight. After this machine comes home, the buyer will religiously exercise on this machine everyday. After a few weeks, the buyer will realize that the walking machine does not help him/her in reducing weight. So he/she slowly reduces his time on the treadmill. In due course of time, the treadmill becomes an unwanted element in the house. It stores up a lot of space. In many houses the tread mill is used for drying clothes. Towels, socks and underwear dry real fast when they are dried on a treadmill.

2) The wedding Gown and the Wedding suit

You wear these on your wedding day and everyone will say that you look gorgeous/handsome. But try wearing it on other days and it doesn't fit into the picture at all. The golden decorated Sherwani, I bought for my reception is still hanging in my wardrobe. I am still looking for an opportunity to wear it and walk around. How many girls out there are wearing their wedding gown everyday? Yes it indeed looks great on your wedding day and it even looks great on the photographs when the photographer is really talented. Statistics reveal that a human being wears his/her wedding attire not more than 3 times in his/her entire life. My wedding suit can't be even worn on for business meetings. It has these three holes for flower decoration and It also has these three big golden buttons.

3)The Unseen movies

If you are a movie buff, you will have the tendency to buy lot of dvds. Now a days we get this 4 in 1 and 16 in 1 DVDs and most of these DVDs are pirated ones. We buy many such DVDs and we end up watching only one or 2 movies in a DVD. My DVD collection is so huge that I can store the DVDs in a small lorry. I can even start a video library on my own i guess. Do you have such DVDs too?

4) Vacuum Cleaner

20 years ago when my dad bought an Eureka Forbes vacuum cleaner for our home, we asked him what it was. Today my nephew asks the same question when he sees that vacuum cleaner. Very few have seen the vacuum cleaner been used to clean houses. In our house, cleaning the vacuum cleaner takes 3 hours. I have used the vacuum cleaner as hair drier. Now it is just another space occupying dormant machine at home.

5) Clothes and Shoes

The wardrobe is the dirtiest place in many homes. It is even dirty than toilets in most houses. The amount of unused clothes and the shoes that we do not use occupy a big junk of space at our home. Why can't we give away the unused clothes to the less privileged and needy. Just try arranging your wardrobe this weekend and you ill find many clothes that you don't wear at all. You can pack those clothes and give them to the poor and needy in your own neighborhood.

6) The couch potato

Yes! This is the husband of the house. This creature just sits in the couch and juggles between the TV remote control and the music system remote control. He orders his wife around and she has to bring him water and food to the couch. He also writes blog posts sitting in the same couch and in due course of time he develops a thoppai (pout) and when that happens he buys a treadmill. After that you know the story.

Note: Please bear with the couch potato. Throwing him out of the house will only worsen things for him and you. But in all the other cases, you can dispose the unwanted things and make this world a better place to live in

-Chronicwriter

506. You put me in Creche; I put you in Old age home

2012-03-21T15:34:00.000+05:30

The picture says it all. The baby is not worried because the parents have left the baby in a creche. The baby is unhappy because the parents do not spend time with the baby even when the baby is at home.

More often we see depravity as a word that is associated with poor and downtrodden children. But even children born to rich parents are deprived of love and care in many houses. Both the parents work hard to earn money for the child's future and in the process end up not spending time with the children.

Though this thought might sound crude, rude and rugged, it would hit the heart of some of the parents who don't spend time with their children. The message part of this blog post is over. Now let us move to the funny part of the blog post. Hope many would agree with me on the following things

The Child says : I did not do anything

Reality : The child has done some mischief.

"Kids say/do the darnedest things"

Me: ( Looking down at myself) Ugh… I’m fat….

James: (looks over at me) Mom, you’re not fat. You’ve just got a lot of body

submitted by Radhika.S

My 5 year old boy is really good at his racing games on PS2. One day he came over to me and gave me a great big hug and said, “Mom, I love you. I love you even MORE than video games”!

Now I know that my son really loves me.

submitted by Eva Sanders

Now for Chronicwriter specials on Kids

It is always good not to know answers for some questions

-Chronicwriter

505. Happy Women's day

2012-03-08T11:08:00.002+05:30

Want to get home made muttinnnnn priyani?
Steps
1) Take a photo like this
2) Praise your wife
3) Praise the whole women community
4) Act innocent.

Post it on Facebook and wait for comments

Mary Sophiya, Anu Radha, Deepthi Sudha Boni and 32 others like this.

Marina Chacko · 2 mutual friends
SO NOW U TELLING UR SECRETS!!!'
13 hours ago · · 1
Manoj Prasad Ada paavi. Ithukku than ketiya message la. Nee usharthan. nandri hai for the suggestion
13 hours ago · · 2
Karthik Kanthimathinathan nalla iruda!!!!
13 hours ago · · 1
Bragadeesh Prasanna Its not since august. Its since mid of july. Antha fifteen days sir aadiya aatam ennaaaas
13 hours ago · · 1
Jerusha Margaret Lol :D I'm pretty sure if u just ask, it will be given unto you!! :D
If u put up stuff like this...ull always remain at her feet :P Thats the only way ull ever get anything ;) :D :P
13 hours ago ·
Viji Suresh kaala vaarama irundha seri...
12 hours ago · · 1
Anand Lambert kandipa yenna tag pannirkanuma ithula ?? U know my condition after my last post ?? :p lol !!
12 hours ago · · 1
Ezra William why this kolaveri......di!!!
12 hours ago · · 1
Missy Vogel ‎Robert Vogel....Haha :)
11 hours ago · · 1
Daya Kingston Its cheaper and simpler to go to a good restaurant!
10 hours ago · · 2
Joe Anand · Friends with Natchi Lazarus and 1 other
the steps are funny.
5 hours ago · · 1
Benny Alexander Thambi, ithathaana 12 varushama seyyurom
5 hours ago · · 2
Penelope Srinivasan hmmmmmmmmm lucky wife and must say u r a loving husband.......picture says it all..........Chris.........
Cheers!!
3 hours ago · · 2
Carol Xavier ‎:) Arent't you the sweetest CPR.
3 hours ago · · 1
Sinduja Chakrapani Oh no... no1 else askd it yet.... Y did u underline 'A' Woman??? N like prasanna said... 1st aug lerndhu dhaan lowes a??? Yaar kitta udreengaannu reelu???
2 hours ago · · 1
Anitha Velumani Apa Renu?!
41 minutes ago · · 1
Susan Benagas Enanmathiri cannot tell!!!!!!hello prason is dat reaaaly u :)
34 minutes ago ·
Kiruthika Raj Sri Ahem Ahem.. Evalo per tag panineenga... Unga wife tag panuneengala?
23 minutes ago · · 1
Anitha Velumani ‎Kiruthika Raj Sri: athan kaalaye vilunthutarilla aparam enna.. endi kudumbathula kolaptha undu panra
20 minutes ago · · 1
Prason Christopher Robin Hi everyone , This photo was added by Joan .

- ippadikku - innocent husband
Prason.
19 minutes ago · · 4
Prason Christopher Robin Morning Breakfast - idli kooda kidaikala :P
15 minutes ago ·
Benny Alexander Prason, you are making the day terrific. ;-)
14 minutes ago · · 2
Deepthi Sudha Boni awesome photo
13 minutes ago · · 1
Anitha Velumani Innocent husband ! Oh GOD!
12 minutes ago · · 1
Prason Christopher Robin Prassi and Sinja : Before August 1 , I was a pachlar u see. so adhu kanakkula kidaiyaadhu

Susan Benagas : The guy is me ofcourse..

Kiruthika & Anitha : unga rendu perayum gorilla cell-la thooki podanum
12 minutes ago · · 1
Prason Christopher Robin ‎Benny : Anna, muttiinnn priyani there?
11 minutes ago ·
Kiruthika Raj Sri Vidunga boss. Idhukellam varutha patta epudi... Innum evalavo iruku ila.. ;-)
10 minutes ago · · 2
Manoj Prasad Pachlar illa paechular. Athavathu pesra thanmai irunthavar. Ippo than athu illiye
9 minutes ago · · 1

Today, I posted this on Facebook and got a decent number of comments. But did not get

mutton biriyani. I did not even get idli. Anyways! Happy women's day

-Chronicwriter

504. Perception and Reality

2012-03-07T10:24:00.001+05:30

All of us would have come across the following kind of pictures. I am posting a collection of pictures that I found on the net. I am also adding two of my own creations in this post.

I found the following two on facebook shared pictures

The following three pictures are from Alid Art

Finally, Chronicwriter Specials

503. As per Vaastu

2012-02-24T15:09:00.002+05:30

The above picture is a clear indication on what will happen in future because of superstitions. I am not against religion. In fact I am a Christian who believes that Jesus died for my sins and I am saved because of him. But what do I call as superstition? Anything that binds people in the name of Religion, Sun sign and Cosmo power is what I term as superstition. I am just imagining how people would use a toilet, if it is constructed on the walls. If such a thing happens, only Sreesanth can save the world. Only he has the capacity to use such a toilet.

My friend was not doing well in his college exams and he tried many methods to score good marks. All his methods yielded him negative results. So he finally decided to approach this Chinese Vaastu expert. The expert listened to my friend's story patiently. After listening to his story she did some mathematical calculations in a scientific calculator and told him that the Violet Lion fish will solve his problem. She sold the fish along with the bowl for Rs 13,500/- only. After one week, the fish died. He is now scared to go back to the lady fearing that she might sell him another fish. He is now planning to go to a Nameologist.

Who is a nameologist? A Nameologist is a person who re-Engineers your name with spelling mistakes and by doing so charges you a fee that is more than your monthly salary. I consulted a nameologist for improving the performance of my blog. He carefully analysed my blog name and asked me to changed my blog name to "CROWnicRIGHTER". He had the following explanation for the same

CROW is the unofficial national bird of India.

I asked him why he changed WRITER to RIGHTER

He said " A WRITER need not be right always; but a RIGHTER is"

I did not heed to his advice and that was the day when many loyal blog readers of this page stopped coming. I am still thinking whether I should rename the blog or not.

Many cricketers, film personalities and even politicians have become victims to Nameologist. A world renowned nameologist advised Osama to change his name to Obama. He did not listen to the Nameologist and three days later he was killed.

Moving to a related topic, I feel like talking about Vastu- color houses. Back in the nineties they called it as modern art. The older generation would call it as dirty art.

It is like giving a little child a paint box and a white wall and after sometime the result would be something that would even make you pet dog to control his bladder when he sees that wall.

Similarly these days, many vastu experts advice people to paint houses in different colors and such colorful houses have been responsible for many road accidents in India.

Some so called Christian preachers have also jumped into this Superstition industry. One preacher is even selling gold plated Keys. These keys cannot open any bank locker. Who would want to open a bank locker these days. Even bank officials are scared to open bank lockers fearing an encounter death.

The so called Christian preacher promises great ROI in businesses if we buy the gold plated key. The cost of the key is in Lakhs. If only a person has that much money, why would he run into losses?

Then we have the colorful pearls and precious stone business which again targets some innocent victim who will fall prey to the whole deal.

Chronicwriter had earlier written a detailed article on Vastu sastra and how to implement it for the betterment of blogs. Many have used this technique and have tasted the benefits. Facebook is one such beneficiary. Click this [ link ] and receive the benefits free of cost

Finally, I would end this post with a message that would bring happiness to every Indian. Pakistan launched a satellite to the moon after consulting me. They have hit the jackpot. Read this to know more.

-Chronicwriter

Note : As per Vaastu, I have changed the name of Vaastu to Vastu. Yes I removed one A

502. One + One = Twenty Three

2012-02-23T17:38:00.000+05:30

The above photo was taken when the South Korean President Lee Myung Bak visited India. This conversation between Manmohan Singh and the South Korean First man was overheard by our waste correspondent. Now the social media chat platforms are working on for creating the Manmohan smiley and the Lee Myung smiley.

The above photo was taken when the Thai President Yingluck Shinwatra met the Indian Prime minister.

Many people around the globe call Manmohan as a mute Prime minister. But we should remember that Mr.Manmohan Singh has single handedly tackled all the rocks thrown at him with one great weapon and that is SILENCE.

Someone somewhere said that Silence is the best answer to many questions. Our PM lives that quote. I am not being sarcastic here. He has the power to quench fiery darts thrown by Rakhi, Arnab and Sidhu. Such is the power of MUTEness.

Back home, we always fight for the remote control.

When my mom uses the remote control, devotional channels will run on TV.

When my sister uses the remote control, it would be some sitcom.

When I use the remote control, it would be Nat Geo or the sports channels.

When my dad uses the remote control, it would be the Channel Scan button which would be crying for mercy.

Similarly the congress supremo Sonia used a powerful weapon and that weapon has even tackled Anna Hazare.

A fan mailed me and said, " Chriz, your posts should be informative". Now you know the name of the presidents of two countries through this post. Even I struggled hard to find the name of the Thai President. At first , i thought she must be a Chinese lady and googled for Manmohan Singh with Chinese lady. It gave me dangerous search results. Then I searched for Japanese lady, Korean lady, Hong Kong, King Kong , Taiwan and finally found the name of the lady when I searched for Thai lady. So great hard work has gone for constructing this post.

When ever I talk about hard work, a few people come to my mind. One such person is Power Star Srinvasan. He has taken the world by storm with his acting prowess. He is the complete package; every girl's dream man and he has the charisma of Rajnikanth and the talent of Kamal Hassan. One should watch his movies before their death. If you watch his movie, that would indeed be your death day.

Finally, I would end this post with one of the greatest statistical calculation ever made to find the best Indian cricketer of all time. This is the result of the greatest research.

-Chronicwriter

501. The making of Dracula 007

2012-02-21T17:24:00.002+05:30

Family get together is always fun for many of us. When ever I and my cousins meet, we turn the whole place upside down. We are 14 cousins in all. The oldest of the lot is 33 years of age and the youngest is a 7 year old. Hence we try to play games that fit in for all these age groups. When my cousins gathered for my wedding, we shot our first all-cousin video. I wrote a post on that video. If you want to see that post along with the video click this [ link ]

After a period of 6 months, my cousins and I gathered again. This time we thought of shooting our second movie. We all sat together and brainstormed for scripting the movie. All the cousins shared their views

"Can we take a 3D movie? "

"That would cost a lot"

" Shall we all go to some foreign location to shoot a movie "

We all looked at the one who uttered this line and he became silent.

The smallest cousin asked, "Shall we take a movie of my barbie doll collection"

We did not want to disappoint her; at the same time did not want her barbie doll in the movie. So we said "Instead of the doll, we would have the real doll- you in the movie"

She was happy.

"Shall we have a tag team WWE match and shall we record it as a video"

I personally did not like this idea , because most of my cousins are well built and I knew what would happen to me if I participated in a tag team match.

"Shall we make an animation movie?"

" But none of us know how to make that movie; and we have just one day to shoot the movie. So tell some other ideas please"

" I know we are having too many ideas. Let us first name our movie. Then we will work on the script"

"Bulla-Bulla-Bong Bong"

"That sounds like a Chinese movie"

"What if we name our movie 'Amala Paul' ? "

All the boys were so eager to have that name as the title of the movie. But the girls did not like that idea.

While we were discussing all these, the older generation of uncles and aunts were over hearing us and they did not like the idea of we shooting a movie. So they decided to be the stumbling block for all of us.

From the other room, One uncle shouted, "Tonight no one is gonna stay up late. You are all gonna hit the bed by 10 pm"

That fell like an atom bomb on our movie shooting dreams. We spent the whole evening playing UNO and bluff; but still we were unhappy that the oldies in the family were acting as thorns in our happy flesh.

That night after our dinner, we all hit the bed. The lights went out and there was complete darkness. After sometime, I decided to scare my little cousins and made some scary noises. They were not scared. They responded with some scary noises from their side. A cousin of mine had a torch in his mobile phone. He switched it ON and focused it on our faces. We started making funny faces and suddenly we had an idea.

"Why don't we shoot a horror movie? We have all the characters in this room, We have a torch light and we indeed have mobile phone with cameras. So what else do we need to shoot a movie?"

The next one hour was spent in shooting. We understood one thing. We can turn our weaknesses into our strengths too. We named it "Dracula Pisasu 007". Watch this one minute short film here.

- Chronicwriter

500. Menaka is a Hot Chick indeed

2012-02-17T17:13:00.000+05:30

Men are lovers of flesh. Am I making a generalized statement? I might be.

Exceptions are there. Click this [ link ] to see the only man in this world who has the power to control temptation. Yes, No woman can tempt him.

99 % of Road accidents happen due to women showing skin. ~ Source : Nithyananda Publications

So, should all women in India wear a Burka when they walk on the roads? If I say yes to this question, I am pretty sure that all the women in this country will start to hate me. Not just women, the men will also hate me.

Two days ago, my friend Stephen rang me up and said, "Hey Chriz! Tomorrow, I am going to a village called Karisalampatti in Interior Tamil Nadu with a group of friends. I want you to join us"

" Why do you want me to join you all?"

" The Village is very beautiful and it is green and lush and the climate is beautiful"

" That sure sounds good. But That doesn't catch my attention yet. I can switch on the AC and stay at home and have a great time. Tell me some other reason why i should come"

" The Village has great archaeological importance caves"

" I can watch the same on Discovery Channel"

" Ok we can listen to traditional rural music in the village"

"Not Interested"

" There is a glamaorous chick called Menaka and she is HOT"

"Pick me up on your way to Karisalampatti".

The next day, Stephen picked me on his car and we drove to Karisalampatti. It was a dry place and it was nothing close to what Stephen had mentioned on phone. But we did not mind it. We were waiting to see Menaka. Stephen started to narrate about Menaka and her beauty.

" She is the most beautiful girl I have ever seen in my life. Though she is married, she still maintains her figure. Her lips are small and cute and she has a lovely neck"

Now we were all eager to see Menaka. Stephen then took us all to Menaka's house. Stephen walked around the house and we all hid behind a bush and he gave us the thumbs up sign indicating that Menaka was all alone in the house. He slowly climbed the wall to see Menaka. He stood there like a statue for a minute. Then slowly he got down and ran to us and said , " She is not wearing anything but an underwear."

"Did she see you?"

"No she did not see me. Come soon. Let us all go and admire her beauty"

We all followed Stephen and climbed the wall and saw the Hot chick Menaka wearing nothing but an underwear.

Click this [ link ] to see Menaka's beauty.

-Chronicwriter

Note : Stephen is no more and we buried him in Karisalampatti.

Did I just post my 500th post?

499. Have you dunnit?

2012-01-27T16:40:00.002+05:30

Remember this? The Natraj Pencil which most of us would have used when we were in school! I would use the pencil sharpener to create such flower designs from the pencil wood. Have you dunnit?

This post will take us all back down memory lane.

Have you been a victim of corporal punishment? Kneeling down, Put chair, raising hands, out-standing-student are some of the terms that will flash across many minds. Have you dunnit?

Bed wetting is an International sport of any child. I have played this sport till I was 10 years old. How many of you have played this sport for longer period of time? My college mate Robert used to play this sport even when we were in college.

One of the favorite games for any child is the "hide and seek " game. Most children select the "bed" to hide. I recently played this game with my niece and nephew and I was seeing history repeating itself in front of my own eyes.

If you have not eaten big fun, you have missed the cream of your childhood. The small stamp that has details of cricketers accompanies Big fun bubble gum. Big fun was the fore runners of the Trump card games.

Cassette tapes and Video cassettes were a part of our life in the 70s,80s and 90s and the children of the present day are missing a great deal in life because of CDS and USBs. How many of you have pulled the tapes out of the cassettes? I used to put a pen inside the cassette hole and used to manually rewind it for my favorite songs.

Parents would say ," Don't play with the electric switch board". But that would not deter us from playing with switches. I have often tried to balance the switch between the ON and OFF position to see when exactly the light goes off. Have you dunnit?

The kindergarten school kids of the present generation start their writing exercises in note books. But during those days, we had a black slate and a small chalk piece. Holding the chalk piece and writing the letter A on the slate would bring a great deal of joy to the mother of the kid.

Bril Ink was a part of my life during my entire primary, high school and higher secondary school days. One student would lend some drops of ink from one pen to another pen. The inks are also sometimes sprayed on the white uniform shirt of students especially on the last day of school.

Travelling like slaves in auto rickshaws does not end in school. An IT corporate employee still travel in cabs and buses like this. I have traveled like this in an auto rickshaw. We would all fight to sit in the front seat next to the auto rickshaw driver.

Now , How many among you have played this game. It should be the national sport of India. All you need is a tyre and a small stick. Some of the greatest tyre controllers are 3 year old kids. I have done this. Have you dunnit?

RingAringA Roses... The official girl gang game. Boys also play this game. I really don't know what fun we get from a game where eventually all fall down. But that's the great boon of being a child; you get to have fun on any game that might sound foolish to others.

I feel like playing some game that I used to play when I was a child. What about you?

Please mention the games you played when you were a child

- Chronicwriter

498. All about windows

2012-01-22T15:45:00.000+05:30

Windows!

I don't know who coined that word and I don't even know who built the first window. The first window might have been the window in Noah's ark. But I am not sure of the exact purpose with which our forefathers designed and invented windows for.

Now a days Windows are used for many purposes. When I was a little boy, I used to climb the window grill at my house. When my mom chased me around the house to beat me, I would climb the window and enter the top rack near the roof. The window used to help me a lot. But then we moved to our own house and the architecture of the house was so different. There were no more racks near the roofs and the french windows made it impossible for me to climb.

In 1985 Microsoft launched its operating system and called it Windows. My dad first bought home a computer in the year 1992 and then we had the Windows 3.0 operating system. Now we have a whole garbage of windows versions. Why did they name an operating system as windows? Those who named it will give lot of philosophically right reasons for that name; but they too just named it without a clue. Now windows is famous and lets not bother trying to figure why they named it windows.

If not for windows and keyholes, the peeping toms would never have found a place for themselves on earth. The above line is not true, because a peeping tom would invariably find his own way to take a peek into the personal lives of others. Still who cares? The peeping Toms would be smiling reading this paragraph. For those who do not know what a peeping Tom means ~ don't worry. We all are peeping Toms. How many of us have watched the Nithyananda-Ranjitha romance video on Sun TV and on YouTube?

Moving to a different area, Windows are also used to dry clothes. For many Indian men, the horizontal beam in the window is the official underwear drying spot. You can identify such men by looking at their underwear. When I walk out of my house, I am always greeted by all the clothes that dry at my neighbor's window. Researches show that those who dry their clothes in the window live a long and happy life.

Windows are also the target for rubber balls by kids. Windows have the magnetic power to attract rubber balls towards them. The windows have played a major role in creating fights between little children and older people.

Windows have also become an integral part of ladies blouses. In olden days, Indian women never wore blouses for sarees. Then they started wearing blouses. As days went by doors, grills and windows became mandatory designs in the blouses. When I was class 12, my class girls wore sarees only on the final school day function. On that day, we came across many window versions. Even today the window blouses are still very much in use. Some of the blouses with windows have no frames.

What comes to your mind , when you think of WINDOWS?

-Chronicwriter

497. Yawn

2012-01-18T10:56:00.001+05:30

Finally I am awake from a long blog slumber. Yes It was a long sleep. Today, I opened my mail box to see a number of mails from readers who had inquired about the reason for my absence from my blog. Some of the mails reminded me that I used to be funny and that I am not funny anymore. Some mails made me happy because the readers considered me as their daily dose of humor giver. Some mails were from girls who wrote that they are gonna commit suicide because I am not single anymore. There was one guy who had sent his resume to work as HR manager for Chronicwriter incorporation. (Sangamey abaraadhathula odum bodhu ippadi oru letter-a?). Immediately I decided to reply to all the mails. I even thought of coming up with answers for all the emails. Some of the answers were

1) I had too much of sugarcane for pongal and hence was being treated for diabetes

2) I was waiting for Vijay's nanban movie and was shocked to see him finally do a good performance after 15 years and it took some time to come out of the shock

3) I was screened by Kapil Sibal.

I was thinking of so many answers. But I was pretty sure that people are so smart these days that they would google the answer or wiki the real story from the Internet.Hence I am gonna tell the truth here.

Wikipedia has been a villain to me for many years. When ever I come up with a story, someone will say ,"Chriz, you are so wrong because wiki tells a different story". I got so angry with wikipedia and decided to block wikipedia for one day. Yes Wikipedia will be blocked today (18 Jan 2012) through out the world.

The engineers at wikipedia tried their level best to resolve the issue. Soon they found that I blocked wikipedia. Hence they gave up the fight and came up with a poster saying that Wikipedia will be shut down for a day to fight against anti piracy. Now all the school kids, college students and working professional around the globe will suffer on 18th January. So 18th january can also be announced as a world holiday. Okay Let me cut the non-sense here and write something useful here

Where shall I start this post now. Ok lemme first wish everyone a Happy New year. 2012 will be a year when the mayan calendar would be put to shame. The Mayans never knew that we have super star Rajnikanth. His son-in-law Dhanush's song "Why this kolaveri di" has become a viral phenomenon across the globe. My house maid hums this song when ever I give her some extra work. Dhanush has become an international star now. The problem with super hit songs is that you will like the song the first few days and after a point of time, when everyone starts singing the song and when you start hearing it everywhere you start disliking the song. Kolaveri has reached that level. It has more hits than any Michael Jackson youtube uploads. I am glad that Rajnikanth did not sing the song. If so, it would have become the national anthem by now.

By the way, I have put on weight. Yes my wife cooks well and now I have a pot belly too. More posts about married life will be posted this year. It is a slow and late start to the year and I started this post with a yawn. It is gonna be a great year indeed. Will I ever write about Renu in the future? I have to ask my wife's permission for the same.

Now I have written a post for the sake of opening my account in 2012. Every new year post should have a message for the audience and the following picture conveys the message for all of us.

Be good and stay safe and have a wonderful year.

-Chronicwriter

496. Your Typing style reveals your mood.

2011-12-24T12:45:00.000+05:30

When I was three years old, I wrote my first love letter to my kindergarten girlfriend Renu. The letter was confiscated by my teacher and she told that I would become a writer in future. Her prediction has come true. To read my first love letter click here [link]

Over the years , I have come across people speaking in different styles of English. Some speak in a way that people like me can understand. Some use complicated sentences and sophisticated language and make it hard for people like me to understand. Some have pathetic English and some kill the language by speaking in a manner thinking that they sound cool. I have admired some of them for their skills and some of them make me laugh.

When Mobile phones came into the market, the art of texting came into existence. English was redefined. People tried their level best to communicate in fewer letters and thus gave birth to the new word Text-Language. With the advent of Social Networking sites, everyone have started to communicate with everyone through these networks. In those days, everyone communicated face-to-face and through voice; but these days ~ majority of communication happens via FB comments.

When people used to talk face to face, we could understand their emotions from the words they use and from their facial reactions and from their non verbal signals and also from their past record. But when a person converses with us via social media; especially through typing, it becomes very difficult to understand what mood they are in. But after spending 12 years in social media starting from yahoo messenger's ASL, I have found a way to find the mood of the person based on his/her typing style. My findings are given below.

Consider this sentence :-

"I would like to say that I had a wonderful birthday "

Now let us identify the mood of those who use the above sentence based on how they type the sentence. Some of the sentences will even reveal the gender of the person.

I would like to say that I had a wonderful birthday - Normal Mood

I wud lyk 2 sae dat I hd a wndrfl burthdayyy - Definitely a girl ( Teen Mood)

I WoUlD LiKe tO SaY ThAt I HaD A WoNdErFuL bIrThDaY - a Girl who had a paralytic attack while typing the line

I would like to sayki thatki I had a bahuth wonderful birthday - if this person is a girl, her character is very similar to Rakhi Sawant's. If this person is a boy, he is just another north Indian boy

I'd like - This person is suffering from dysentery.

I WOULD LIKE TO SAY THAT I HAD A WONDERFUL BIRTHDAY - This one is very angry. No body gave any gift

♥I wud like to say that I hada super duper fantabulous yummy cake and love you all those who made my day special with those gifts and hugs to all ♥ - This is a girl. The ♥ reveals the gender of the person. Now many boys have started using the heart symbol too.

My Happy birth day was fine - Simple men and Old aunties

Machi open the bottle - Our Tamil Kudimagans.

- Chronicwriter

495. Kapil Sibal and the Screen.

2011-12-08T16:12:00.010+05:30

There were days when Justin Bieber used to Trend for eternity on Twitter. Then the change came. Recently Ravindra Ashwin trended when he scored a century. Sunny Leone also trended when she appeared on Big Boss. Please don't google to find who this Sunny Leone is. You might invite trouble free of cost.

This week, When I logged into my twitter account, I found Kapil Sibal trending on twitter. Why would a politician trend on twitter was the first question that came to my mind. Then I found that Kapil had actually tried to build a Berlin wall for Facebook users. Whether Kapil Sibal has any idea about Facebook or not, is a totally different question that has to be answered by a team of experts headed by Rakhi Sawant.

Kapil Sibal used the word SCREEN more than once. He wanted Facebook to screen the contents of anything that is posted on Facebook. Here I present some tips for Kapil to effectively use the SCREEN.

This is THE Kapil Sibal with his trademark hand gesture.

Now we will see how we can use the SCREEN. We can use the Screen to cover the face. It will protect mosquitoes from biting the face. It will also not allow him to see his own face in the mirror.

He can use the Screen to cover the mole on his cheek. This will improve his glamour and thus will give him an opportunity to be rated as one of the handsome men in the world.

By placing the screen on one of his eyes, he can give a serious competition to the Somalian Pirattes.

But, the best place for the Screen is His mouth

UnIdentified sources say that the word Kapil Sibal is now a synonym for the words BEEP, CENSOR and #$%@

-Chronicwriter

494. When my wife cooks.

2011-11-22T14:24:00.004+05:30

When my wife cooks

For those who know me personally,you would know that I love cooking. Chicken is my favorite dish. When I was a bachelor, I always had friends coming over to my place and I just loved to cook for them. The love for cooking started when I started living away from home. In the beginning I missed home cooked food made by mom. But later when I learnt to cook, I started enjoying it.

When I was a kid, I hated Idlis. I used to throw them out of the window when ever my mom made idlis for breakfast. Now I miss those idlis.

My cooking diary takes me back to those days when I learnt to cook by boiling water [link]

My bachelor days came to an end and a new member has started to share the house with me. I call her my wife. Joan is her name. Joan cooks food in her own style and like most south Indian Husbands , I also started saying ,"Joan, My mom's cooking style is the best style".

Joan has a poor eye sight (She said Yes to marry me). The biggest blunder Joan made in her married life was when she said, "Honey, You are not allowed inside the kitchen. I will do the cooking". She sure would regret her words. I obeyed her words sincerely and have not entered the kitchen ever since.

Sometimes she doesn't read the entire recipe and ends up creating a new dish. The other day she made chicken soup and misread the "add 1/4 tsp salt" as "add 1/4 cup salt". Drinking that soup was almost like taking a bath in the sea water. It was an experience of sorts.

Two lessons learnt by my wife in the kitchen

Oil and water are enemies and they war with each other inside a frying pan
Opening a Hot pressure cook will give you a steam bath

Last week, I had crispy Papads for breakfast. Later I was informed that it was poori. I posted it on FB and I was beaten black and blue by my wife. I just recovered from bruises. But I am still living under-cover in my own house.

This morning, She told me that she would make Biriyani for me. You would know about my condition in my next post.

Till then, have fun

and

Happy Eating !

-Chronicwriter

493. The death of Kamalinga Kaju (Horror Movie)

2011-11-18T20:35:00.003+05:30

My second movie. No one was hurt while filming this movie. Watch this movie at your own risk. Parental (Non) Guidance is necessary. Will this movie win the Oscars?

-Chronicwriter

492. Cold War

2011-11-18T17:02:00.001+05:30

The word Cold War came into existence in the mid 1900s when the communist states in Soviet Russia fought for power. An actual war did not take place; but every move by the states was a proof that they hated each other.

We find this cold war everywhere. It exists between a Husband and wife to find who makes the rule at home. It exists between a brother and sister to find who gets the better treatment from their parents. It exists between siblings for the fight for the TV remote control. When two people end up sitting next to each other for a time period, they eventually end up developing Cold War. This is the same case with countries. When it is the case of two people, when they develop cold war, they can move away from each other and give each other some breathing space. But when cold war erupts between two countries, they cannot move away from each other. The cold war finally results in war.

Israel and the surrounding countries always fight with each other (All for a piece of Land ~ Just like little kids fighting for a piece of paper). There is constant tension between India and China and India and Pakistan for possession of land. The people living in the borders are the victims to the cold war that exist between the different countries.

India and Pakistan have warred with each other and India has had the upper hand in all three occasions. The hatred is so much that both the countries take their hatred on the innocent people of both countries. India blames Pakistan and Pakistan blames India and the blame game is a never ending story.Innocent victims lose their lives; where as Dawood Ibrahim stays healthy in Pakistan and Ajmal Kasab stays healthy in India. On the flip side few people have broken this barrier that was created because of this cold war.

1. Suleman Mirza and Madhu Singh

These two are an amazing dance pair. Suleman is a Pakistani dancer who dances like MJ and Madhu Singh is an Indian who is a class act in Bhangra. Together they make a deadly dance combination. They stole every one's heart in the talent show ~ "Britain's got talent". If you have not seen their dance magic, please check their wonderful dance moves in YouTube.

2. Rohan Bopanna and Aisam Ul-Haq-Qureshi

In Tennis, everyone would remember "The woodies" (Todd and Mark) , The Bryan Brothers and The Indian Express (Leander and Mahesh). But how many of you know about the Indo-Pak express? The Indo-Pak pair of Bopanna and Qureshi are a class act and they play wonderful serve and volley game. They are a great example that two people from these two countries can actually be winning partners.

3. Sania Mirza and Shoaib Malik

I really do not whether they have done their country proud. Sania showed initial spark in her tennis career. But that soon flew away. She often gets blanked by her opponents in the very first round of grand slams. Her Hubby is not even playing competitive cricket. That would mean that they get enough time to spend with each other as their professional playing career ends even before it starts.

I am an Indian and I am thinking of partnering with a Pakistani for a noble cause. If I do so, I would also join in this elite list. I am still contemplating on two things

1) The person to partner with

2) The Cause

Care to give suggestions ?

-Chronicwriter

491. Laziest people in the world.

2011-11-09T16:34:00.005+05:30

With the advancement of technology man is becoming lazier and lazier everyday. There was a time when I used to come home from school, take a bath, change my clothes and go out to play cricket with my friends. I used to be brisk and hyper active. But these days , the story has changed. I come home and land in the couch and reach for the remote control and just lie there and watch TV till dinner time. Most of the time I wouldn't even remove my socks.

Even when I use the laptop, I used to lie down on the bed and write blog posts. Then one day I saw that a man died because of using laptops in bed. Then I stopped using lap tops in bed. But still I am lazy. Every payment transaction is done online these days. Yes it saves time. It also makes us lazy. We don't have to stand in queues in banks and we don't have to stand in queue to pay electricity bills.

There are lazy people in each and every field. In Cricket, the laziest batsman I have ever seen is Inzamam Ul Haq. How many times we would have seen him running himself out. It all started with the famous Flying Johnty dismissal. Then it became an every day affair with Inzamam.

How can we forget Arjuna Ranatunga, who had great difficulty in running between the wickets. He invented the walking between the wicket syndrome.

If Inzy and Ranatunga are alow runners between the wickets, Chanderpaul is a slow stander in front of the wicket. His stance is as though he has just recovered from a piles operation. He stretches his legs so wide and one whole family can sit between his legs and finish dinner while he bats.

My European friend Steve is so lazy to stand and pee. Hence he has placed a chair in his loo. He performs the Volcano by sitting in his chair.

I am very lazy to complete this post. Right now I am so lazy like the guy who designed the Japanese flag.

(The last Japanese flag joke was uttered by my friend Shalomie.)

Have you come across any Lazy people in your life? Tell us about them.

-Chronicwriter