Chronicwriter

578. Man's greatest enemy

2013-06-13T12:26:00.002+05:30

The alarm clock is man's first enemy everyday. It spoils our precious sleep. Thanks to the snooze button , we could reach over and press that button and get back to sleep for some more time. Most of us have mastered the art of locating the snooze button even without looking at the clock.

We are all magicians when it comes to locating the snooze button. Some of us even have the ability to press that button for almost an hour. Every time we would locate the snooze button with ease.

Every night before we go to sleep, we would keep the alarm as early as possible and say "Tomorrow I will get up early in the morning". But every day, most of us end up pressing the snooze button and in the process end up late at work.

How can we come out of this problem? It is not easy, if we are so used to pressing the snooze button. During the morning, when the alarm goes on, I would feel like breaking the clock. The mind doesn't remember the decision made before hitting the bed.

King Solomon was known for his wisdom. He was a poet too. He has written many proverbs. One such proverb tells us to learn from the ants. Check this picture to know what he tells us.

When we see the ants, we will learn that they are highly disciplined. They never jump the queue. They are organised and they are hard workers. We have lots to learn from them. Traffic systems in some countries are designed following the example set by ants. The economic planning of some countries are also planned following the examples set by these small creatures. We have lot to learn from the smallest living creatures around us.

The next time, you see a small creature, try to learn one behavior from them. This advice was understood in a very wrong manner by TR. He also tried to learn new things from animals. He once happened to see how a bear excretes in the wild. Immediately he also decided to imitate the same. The result is seen in the video below.

If you are alive even after seeing this video, you have just witnessed a karadi kakkoos pora scene.

-Chronicwriter

577. Lessons from a daughter

2013-05-30T12:44:00.001+05:30

When you have a toddler at home, you learn lot of things from them.

I have a one year old daughter at home.

My wife and I learn a lot from her everyday.

This post has some of those details.

1. The Horror film experience!

When you suddenly see your daughter holding a vicks bottle. The cap in one hand and the bottle in the other. As you frantically run towards her to retrieve the bottle, you realize that she has already licked some vicks and instead of crying; is laughing at you. The climax is when you pick her up, she applies some vicks on your eyes. Finally we have a smiling daughter and a father who is cooling his eyes with coconut oil.

2. The missing daughter

One day, my daughter suddenly went missing. We searched for her all around the house My wife started crying and I went to a numb state. She was not to be seen for more than 15 minutes. We searched for her every where. Then we heard a sneezing sound coming from the dirt bag; and there she was lying inside the dirt-clothes bag and chewing on a pavaada naadaa. Now she has a kolusu on her legs.

3. The biter

You have to keep your eyes open especially when your daughter is teething. She will bite me anytime. The teeth are very sharp and when she bites me , tears will well up in my eyes; but all those tear filled eyes will soon turn to smile filled eyes when I see that innocent face smiling at me.

4. My movie partner.

I watch movies late at night. Sitting on my bean bag, sipping on hot lemon tea and watching a movie of my choice is one hobby of mine. I usually watch movies alone. But now I have a movie partner. My daughter watches movies with me. Last weekend, we watched the exorcism of emily rose.
Result : A laughing daughter and a frightened father.

5. The jumper

My daugher is a daredevil. She crawls on the bed and she knows no fear. She just leaps from the bed. Now we have cushions on the floor surrounding the bed. Still she just takes off and leaps from the bed.

6. The reader

When I read a book, she also needs a book. When I am on the computer, I give her a computer too.
I do not know what she reads; but as long as I read the book, she will also hold her book and read something in her baby language.

7. Musician at home

Anya has great love for congos. When I play the guitar, she starts playing the congos. She has got amazing rhythm sense.

I am learning a lot from my daughter. Her mother is her first love. I am her second love.

-Chronicwriter

576. OfficeTeam Lunch

2013-05-28T11:54:00.007+05:30

If you are working in an IT firm you will relate to this post easily.

Office Team Lunches happen once in a while in many firms. Birthdays, Wedding anniversaries, team celebrations are some of the reasons for people gathering for team lunches. The team leader will usually call for the team lunch. A mail will be circulated among the team members that on a certain day in that week the team will go for a team lunch.

Note : Team lunches never happen on non-working days.

The team lunch is of three types.

1) Aappu for company.

The lunch is sponsored by the company. The Team leader will have the money in his hand and he will organize the team lunch. No one in the team will know the exact budget behind the lunch. The team members will only know that they are gonna have a good time. They will eat and come back. They will not bother about how much was spent on the team lunch. The team leader will steal a lump sum of money if he is corrupt.

2) Aappu for a single person.

This is the "maamaa tousar keenjuchu" kinda team lunches. The entire team will find an "Adimai" who will give them a treat. The reasons for the treat is immaterial for the team members as long as they have a good lunch. Everyone in the team will exactly know how much is spent. Care is taken by each member to clean the wallet of the Adimai who gives the treat. Everyone will pose along with the Adimai and take lot of photos and they will publish the photos on their facebook walls. This is done to make the Adimai feel important. If two top figures pose with the adimai, he will usually forget the bill amount.

Note : The Adimai is usually a Guy.

3) Mutual Aappu for the entire team.

Everyone shares their money for the team lunch. If it is a buffet, the team members will exactly know the amount that each one of them need to shell out from their pockets.

The real problem happens when there is no buffet. Everyone will order less; but will make sure that they eat more than the others. There will be few people who will always eat that extra chicken lollypop starters and will have a sense of satisfaction that they have eaten more.( A note to such people: You will only shit a little more than others. Don't take pride in that). Finally when the bill arrives, some one will pull out the calculator and will divide the money so that everyone can share. Now everyone will pull out Hundred rupee notes and five hundred rupee notes and no one will have the exact change. Finally one person will pay for two or three people and this person will have to run behind the other three people for months to get back his money.

The following two pictures will tell you how people usually sit during team lunches.

1)The boys will sit on one table
2)The girls will sit on another table.

If a guy sits in a table full of girls, then he is the Adimai.

Note: The picture is used with permission from my sister. So personal offensive comments about the people in the picture can be avoided. I am very strict, you see.

Dictionary

1) Aappu - Punishment

2) maamaa tousar keenjuchu - Murder
3) Adimai - Slave

- Chronicwriter

575. Sreesanth is innocent

2013-05-22T17:01:00.003+05:30

Everyone is blaming Sreesanth for spot fixing. Those who copy in exams, those who do not follow rules, those who cheat, lie and do all sorts of nonsense have finally got their scapegoat. This time it is Sreesanth. Yes we will talk about this issue like how we talked about Cronje , Azhar and Jadeja and after sometime we will find some other thing to talk about. Life moves on. As Sreesanth is the hot topic, let us see the different reactions various people might have because of this issue.

-Chronicwriter

574. IPL 6 Fair Play Award

2013-04-18T15:33:00.002+05:30

The sixth edition of IPL has given great games for the viewers. Some say the games are fixed and some say that the games are played in true sportive spirit. I really don't care how they play the game. There is something called a fair play award which is awarded to the teams based on how fair they play the games. This post talks about the secret behind this fair play award.

-Chronicwriter

573. Outdoor games

2013-04-18T12:44:00.001+05:30

"Mom! I am going out to play". When ever I said that, I meant what I said. I will go out and play with my friends. I would roll on the mud, bruise my legs, climb trees and jump from one branch to another, fall down and cut my legs, play cricket with friends, sweat a lot and I only wish I could get that childhood once again.

When I see children of today, I am happy that I spent my childhood in the 80s and early 90s. When I say football, I have actually kicked a ball with my legs. I have dribbled a ball and I have held a ball in my hands. During those days I was the only one who had a football in our locality. So people would come to me , if they had to play a football game. There was an agreement I had with others. No one would tackle me when I had the ball. So I have had the opportunity to score many goals. If my team was trailing by a huge margin, I would take the ball and go home. Today the only football game that many children play is the one they play in the xboxes. No wonder the rich kids are not healthy anymore even after eating healthy foods.

Those who have played street cricket would know what the stumper ball meant to them. This ball was a household name for all youngsters. Parents will tell their children, "If you get good marks, we will get a stumper ball for you" When I was a young boy ( I am still young) the price of the ball was Rs 5. Four or five of us would put together One Rupee each and would buy this wonderful ball. Immediately we would pierce a hole in this ball with a safety pin to let out high pressure air. The ball would be ready for use. One ball would be used for almost a week. It would break the window panes and to retrieve this ball, we would get into fights with the neighbors We treated this ball so special.

Today a 4 year old can operate a mobile phone better than an adult. He may operate an electronic device better too. But do they know what burning calories mean? They might say that walking on a treadmill will help us to burn calories. But during our childhood days we knew how to burn calories without the help of a treadmill. Someone will now say " My children are not like that. We allow them to go out and play" If that is the case, well and good. But, still they could never fathom the joy we had during our childhood. I am longing for the childhood of the 80s and 90s. I know this dream of mine will never come again. If you remember any of your childhood game, do share with all of us.

-Chronicwriter

572. My dad is a magician

2013-04-17T00:48:00.002+05:30

I don't allow guest posts in my blog usually. But when it comes to my daughter, I allow her. This is a post from Anya. So listen to what she has to say

My dad is a magician!

Hi everyone! Hope you are all fine. This is Anya here. I came here to say one very important information about my dad. He is a magician; a very good one at that. I have never ever seen a better magician all my life. He can do wonders in the blink of an eyelid.

I realised that my dad was a magician a few months ago. Five months ago, when I did not even know how to crawl, I noticed a great magic trick that only my dad could do. When we go to bed in the night, we would sleep like this (see below picture). I would lie between my mom and dad. My mom would sing for me and my dad would be looking at the ceiling for ages. I don't know what would be running in his head during such times. After much struggle I would go to sleep

When I wake up in the morning, I would be surprised to see that my dad has already performed a magic trick. Mom would be sleeping between me and dad. Every morning I would wake up to this surprise. I would often cry out loud asking him to explain to me how he does that trick. But he never understands my baby language. Even if he understood my language, I don't think he would have disclosed the trick to me, because great magicians reveal their magic secrets to anyone.

So I decided to find the secret behind his magic trick myself. So one night when my mom was singing songs to put me to sleep, I acted as if I had fallen asleep. My parents thought I had actually slept. Then what I saw was an unbelievable thing. I saw my dad flying across me and landed on the other side of the bed. I was wrong all this while. He is not a magician. He is a bird. I think he is a crow.

- Anya.

571. What they say about Sir Ravindra Jadeja

2013-04-10T23:35:00.005+05:30

Dhoni called him Lord Ravindra Jadeja.

The others call him Sir.

The world has stopped the Sardar jokes, Rajnikanth jokes, Chuck Norris jokes and everyone are talking about the legend of Sir Ravindra Jadeja.

Why do people talk so much about him?

Some even say that he is the Powerstar of Cricket.

What is so special about him?

The following testimonies will help us understand the reason better.

- Chronicwriter

All the captions were created by Chronicwriter and he has used these captions on pictures he collected from the internet.

570. Film Maker Bala's Secret

2013-04-02T12:50:00.003+05:30

Director Bala's fans should bear with me for this post. A group of scientists joined together to analyse the secret behind his film making skills and the scientific team found his secret. The following six steps will reveal the secret behind his success.

- Chronicwriter

569. Keep your home cool this summer

2013-04-01T23:16:00.001+05:30

Summer time in India always is a dreadful period indeed. If you live in Chennai, you would really know what I mean. You would sweat like a pig and you will stink during summer time.

Travelling in the public transport during the summer season is the biggest punishment you can give someone.

Summer in Chennai will reach 45 degrees this year and this has caused lot of panic for everyone in this place. Many other parts of India will also go through the same problem.

To stay away from this summer heat, people run to hill stations like Kodaikanal and Ooty. These hill stations were once Honeymoon spots. Now a days these spots have become like a fish market. There is no privacy for honeymoon couples, so the honey moon couples have started celebrating their honeymoon in Tambaram Railway station and Ranganathan Street in T Nagar.

As the temperature is gonna soar high people are gonna have a tough time this summer. Everyone are installing ACs in their houses. But the problem in Chennai is that the voltages are pretty low in many places. The rest of Tamilnadu has to first search for some electricity to run these ACs. In this post chronicwriter gives free tips to keep your house cool during the scorching summer heat.

1) The Jute bag effect.

Buy as many jute bags as possible. Dip them in water and put these jute bags on the terrace. They will absorb 25 % of the heat from the sun

2) Neem leaves and white sand

Mix neem leaves with white sand (the one that we get from river beds) and sprinkle this mixture on the terrace / roof tops. This will absorb heat by 30 %

3) Coconut fibre and charcoal

Spread Coconut fibre on the terrace. Pour water on them. Sprinkle charcoal on them. This would suck in 50 % of the heat and this is a wonderful heat absorber.

4) Newspaper

Stick newspapers on your window panes. They are amazing heat absorbents. They reduce the harmful sun rays from harming you

5) Papaya seeds

Take a glass of water and put papaya seeds inside the glass. Now keep the glass on your window sill. You can keep glasses on all window sills. Heat absorbent factor is very high in this method.

Try these methods. Have a cool summer.

Note: No one has tried these methods before. If you try these methods, you will be the first person to implement these strategies.I am not the only jobless fellow around. Join the club

-Chronicwriter

568. How to know if your wife is angry?

2013-04-01T17:49:00.001+05:30

If you experience the following incidents in your life, chances are that your wife may be angry with you.

1) When you ask her a question and when you don’t get a reply she is angry with you

2) If the vessels in the kitchen create lot of noise your wife is angry with you

3) If there is more salt in the food she is angry with you

4) If you get the same breakfast every day she is angry with you

5) If there is no salt in the food she is angry with you

6) If there is no food, she is deadly angry with you

7) Forget her birthday and you will experience her wrath in full flow

8) Try changing the TV channel when she is watching her favourite serial on TV. If you do that you will experience any of the first 6 points in your life

9) When you are asked to sleep on the couch she is angry with you

10) When she asks you “Do I look fat?” , just understand that it is a trap. If you say Yes, you are in trouble. If you say No, you are again in trouble. If you keep quiet, there is more trouble. So what should you do? Anyway she is gonna get mad at you. So just do what you wish to do and earn the wrath of your wife.

-Chronicwriter

567. Why I Like Subtitles?

2013-03-31T18:50:00.000+05:30

I am a Tamilian. A green Tamilian. Still when I watch any Tamil song, I always prefer to watch it along with English sub-titles. You might think that it is unnecessary. But once you start watching Tamil songs with English sub titles you will never ever want to watch the song without them any more. I have added screenshots of Tamil songs with english sub titles. Go through the pictures and once you are done, I am sure you would also join the list of people who would watch Tamil songs along with sub titles. So here you go

The pictures are screen shots taken by me from Youtube. So I do not hold the copyrights for any of the pictures.

-Chronicwriter

566. Smoking Pulls.

2013-03-29T19:20:00.002+05:30

You would have seen the caption "Smoking Kills". Even a five year old child knows that smoking is bad for health. So this post is not about the ill effects of smoking. If you wanna know about the ill effects of smoking, there are umpteen articles about it. This post will not make smokers to quit smoking. This post is about the mind games that cigarettes played with my life. Yes Smoking Pulled me towards it all these years. Now it still does. But I don't smoke any more. Why? Here is my story about the love affair I had with cigarretes.

I was clean during my school days. But when I entered college, I wanted to try smoking too. How would it feel like? Would I cough when I smoke? Will it hurt my lungs? Will I die soon? Will my lips turn black? All these questions ran in my head when the thought to smoke came across my mind. One day I tried it. I did not want my friends to know that I was about to smoke. They were expert smokers. I did not want to be mocked at by them.

I went to the petty shop near my college and got a Wills cigarette. It was priced at Rs 2.50 per cigarette. It seemed costly because my pocket money for a month was Rs 200/-. I am talking about the year 1999. Kings cigarette was priced at Rs 2.75/-

Wills was commonly smoked by the college students and hence the petty shop had a good stock of that brand. After getting a cigarette, I rushed back to the college hostel. When no one was around, I lighted one end of the cigarette. The cigarette flamed big time and that is when I realized that I had actually lighted the filter bud end of the cigarette which was ought to be kept in the mouth. I was dejected because of the Rs 2.50 that had just burned before my eyes.

The next day, I again went to the same shop and bought another Wills Cigarette. This time I was successful in lighting the cigarette. But I did not know how to smoke it. I kept one end of the cigarette in my mouth and dragged the smoke in. After dragging it, I blew them away. Nothing happened and I did not even feel that I had smoked. That is when Robert came to the shop to buy some cigarettes. He saw me standing there with a cigarette and he was shocked to see me holding a cigarette in my hand.

He smiled at me and asked , "First time?"

I nodded my head up and down.

"Are you finding it difficult to smoke?"

"Yes" , I said.

He then taught me the nuances of cigarette smoking. His sentence "Smoking is like breathing. When you inhale you should only concentrate on inhaling and when you exhale you have to breathe out the smoke" is still fresh in my memory. Yes I coughed. But I learnt to smoke too.

Time flew by. I had become an expert smoker. During college days, we never smoked a cigarette alone. We all believed in the concept of "Sharing is caring". At least 8 of us would share one cigarette. We all knew that cigarrete smoking was injurious to health. But we did not care. Playing cards, carrom board were an important activity during our college days. All these games were always accompanied by smoking cigarettes.

There were some guys who found it difficult to perform their morning duties without the help of smoking. Soon I was in the group too. Smoking had become a part of my life. I would wait for lunch time to go and smoke with friends. Smokers in college were labelled as the men in the big league.

Days passed.. Only my friends knew that I smoked. No one in my family circle knew that I had the habit of smoking. I was an angel according to them.

Soon I finished college and entered the corporate world. In the corporate world, It was cool to smoke in the smoking zone. Holding a cup of coffee in one hand and a cigarette in the other is a very common scene in the IT world. I was there too. The brand changed and as I had more money, the cigarette brand also progressed to a better range of cigarettes.

What did I get by smoking? Nothing

Does it feel good to smoke ? No

Then Why smoke? That's one question, none of the smokers have an answer to; but everyone will say one answer or the other.

One thing I always noticed was that when ever I smoked, I collected excess saliva in my mouth and I had to constantly spit them out. Additionally, my skin became dry and I started getting pimples every now and then. My face would become oily and I would never have that fresh look. More over when ever I smoked, I found it difficult to breathe normally. It was because in addition to the oxygen I was inhaling, I added nicotine to it. I knew that my body was becoming weak. But still I continued smoking because it had become a habit.

There came a time when I tried to control my smoking behavior. I used to smoke a pack of cigarettes everyday. I was not a chain smoker. But still the number was huge. I first set a target for myself - that I should not smoke more than 2 cigarettes per day. I succeeded in this on some days; but on the long run I failed miserably. Then I decided to avoid going the the petty shop where I bought the cigarettes. So I started taking a different route to work everyday. This worked for sometime. But still when ever a colleague offered me a cigarette, I was not able to say No. Smoking pulled me towards it.

Some days I would feel really bad that I was cheating my family and this thought would keep me away from smoking for sometime. But again this was not a remedy too. I would fall for it again. One thing I noticed was the more I moved away from cigarettes, the more attractive it became to me. But still I had reduced the consumption by a large margin. A friend of mine came home and we bought some cigarettes and started smoking and suddenly I started coughing to glory. Only beginners would cough and expert smokers would never cough. But why was I behaving like a beginner? Why was I coughing? I never knew the answer. I had reached a point where my body was not liking it all. The moment I kept the cigarette on my mouth I started coughing. I really did not understand what was happening. It might have been a sign from my body to remind me that it can't take any more of my nonsense. That was the last day I smoked.

It has been a long time now. I go to petty shops; but I don't feel like smoking now. Smoking never pulls me anymore. I meet people who are addicted to it. I meet people who are trying to quit. I meet people who love to smoke. Smoking does kill and a person will quit smoking only when he starts hating it. Until then it will keep on pulling him towards it. No one can gradually reduce smoking. If you are planning to quit smoking you have to take the bold decision of stopping it once and for all. At the same time even after you have made that decision, you will have umpteen opportunities to smoke again. How you respond to that call will actually determine whether you have actually quit smoking or not.

If you had quit smoking, share your story of how you quit it. Also tell how your health is after you quit smoking? Your story might help someone who is searching for an answer.

-Chronicwriter

565. IPL - season I don't know

2013-03-26T18:42:00.003+05:30

I have really stopped counting. I don't even know what season of IPL this is gonna be. Still it is one event that comes every year during the exam season and it is one event that makes everyone to sit in front of their TV sets in the evening. I just did a google search to find that this is gonna be the 6th IPL. I still like the marketing strategy of Lalit Modi of how he took the second edition to South Africa. Such strategies will be missed.

What's so great about IPL 2013?

1) No Pakistan players

Yes, This how we wage war. If there is any friction in the border, we punish the Pakistan players

2) No SriLankan Players in Chennai matches

This is like asking a piles patient to brush his teeth and telling him that it will solve his problem.

3) Vijay Mallya's RCB

This team is like the Indian cricket team of the nineties. The Indian team had Sachin. When he falls, the rest of the team falls.Similarly RCB teams relies heavily on Gayle. Though the team boasts of other big hitters like Virat Kohli and ABDV, they just play their part in one match or two. Gayle is the big stay.

4) SRK's KKR

KKR were the surprise winners of 2012 edition of IPL. They are usually the jokers of IPL; but last year they surprised themselves and that made SRK to do somersaults after their win. Very few know that Juhi Chawla is also the co owner of the team. SRK will smoke inside the stadium and create a stir and media will write about him. He has been doing the same stunt all these years and he will do it this year too.

5) KingsXI Punjab

When you don't allow Pakistan players to play in this tournament, you have to have the talent of Azhar Mahmood who has found a way to play in the IPL. This former Pakistani big hitter is now an English citizen and he spearheads the bowling attack. He is the player to watch.

6) Chennai Super Kings.

The most overrated team in the IPL. They did not make it to the finals of 2009. But there is something in them that makes many to like them ( including me) and many to hate them. Dhoni will make sure that they lose many matches in the league phase and he will also make sure that they will somehow scrape through to the knockout stages. This team also has SIR Ravindra Jadeja

7) Delhi Daredevils

This team is the mystery team. They are the strongest team on paper but when it comes to reality they struggle a lot. This is a great opportunity for Virender Sehwag to cement his place in the Indian team. His performance in this tournament will determind his future in the Indian cricket team.

8) Rajastan Royals

They have Shilpa Shetty in their team. They have four players who are in their late 30s and early 40s. They are indeed an ageing side. But they can sure spring a surprise like they did in the first edition. The wall captains this team and he will have the huge task of managing Sreesanth.

9) Mumbai Indians

Sachin Tendulkar. You don't need any other reason to watch this team play

10) Pune Warriors

Led by Yuvraj Singh, this team doesn't even know that they exist.

11) Sunrisers Hyderabad

When the deccan chargers team were replaced by the Sunrisers, little did anyone realise that this team will make a big impact. But in the world of politics, they say that the sun never sets in Tamilnadu even if they are not in power. Owned by Sun Tv, this team has lot to prove.

12) Commentary team

The commentary team will be headed by Shastri and Siddhu. I would personally love to see Arnab Gowsami in the box too. The fourth innings team will also feature some old cricketers who will sit on either side of one less clothed woman.

Gayatri Reddy will be missed. This post is dedicated to her.

In future we will see cricketers playing the matches near the boundary and the cheer leaders , Mohammed Kaif and Katrina Kaif dancing in the pitches. Katrina will do a dance act in the opening show of this year's IPL

The MRF blimp will be missed this time. But we will have lot of entertainment that will deviate us from doing our regular duties. We all need some excuses and IPL 2013 will sure help us find new excuses.

564. Judging a book by its cover

2013-03-26T13:16:00.001+05:30

Recently I attended a wedding reception of a cousin of mine in Chennai. My relatives had come to the wedding. It is at one such place we get to meet all our relatives in one place. I happily went around and greeted all my uncles, aunties, grannies, nieces, nephews and cousins.

After sometime the conversation started. It was the usual gossip on who is pregnant in the family, who is having marital problems in the family, the in-law problems, the affairs , who eloped with whom and the conversation just skipped from one topic to another.

Suddenly a cousin of mine entered the scene and every one became silent. The reason being they had just gossiped about him. To our surprise he was very cordial with everyone and the manner in which he behaved with all of us simply proved that what ever that was spoken of him was not true.

The oldies in the family had labelled him as a drug addict, just because he has long hair. This is how they form opinions. Just because one has long hair, you can't label that person as a druggie. Just because a person's eyes are red, you can't call him a drunkard. In fact I used to have long hair once.

Sometimes the opinions we form about people doesn't determine who they are. It just shows who we are. I have worked in the advertising industry for sometime as a Client servicing executive. Almost all the women at work had the habit of smoking. When we had official parties, they drink a lot too. A friend of mine once said that a girl who smokes is a slut. But I have seen these ladies to be morally very good. They never crossed their limits in relationships.

I am not supporting smoking or drinking in any way. I am pretty sure that both are not good for health. I have been there and I know it does not help you in any way. But the point I am trying to make here is that we can never call a person cheap because of his or her habits. These are just habits which can leave a person anytime. But a character of a person (jealousy, pride, lust, ego,lies) are more dangerous than the habits that a person has.

We were talking with our neighbors near our house entrance when a guy vroomed past us in his bike. His silencer was tuned in such a way that it created lot of noise. As soon as he zoomed past us, my neighbor immediately blurted out "Kudikaaran! Poraan paaru" (See! How there goes a drunkard). She immediately labelled him as a drunkard just by hearing the silencer tone of his bike.

How many times have we jumped to conclusions. When we look at a person, we tend to draw a picture of the person in our mind and there are occasions when we label a person as a worthless creature even before the person could have a say.

When Landau Eugene auditioned for a competition to showcase his talent, the judges mocked at him. His social status and the way he carried himself made the judges to think that he was a nutcase. But the moment he opened his mouth to sing, he silenced the judges with his voice.

In today's world, everybody are taught to carry themselves very well. In most of etiquette training sessions, the trainer always forces the trainees not to be themselves; but to be someone whom others will accept. Everyone are taught to throw attitude.

But in the attitude era, there are still simple creatures who come to the stage without any glamour and they just take the world by storm. Asif Ali is one such person. The judges sarcastically took him for a ride by insulting him for his mannerisms. This guy knocked them when he started to sing.

Similarly we would have seen the story of Susan Boyle and Kevin Skinner too.

When you see someone who doesn't carry himself well, please don't underestimate the person. Encourage him and try to bring the best out of him. Our sarcastic insults can kill the greatest talents around us.

The only thing that one has to do behind a back of a person is "Pat his back"

-Chronicwriter

563. Lessons learnt from Public Urinals

2013-03-15T15:53:00.000+05:30

This is a post on public toilets in India. I am assuring you that this post will not stink. So you can still read it with your nose and eyes open. When ever you go to a bus stand in any place in India, you can smell the collective urine smell of all the people in that particular city because of the existence of the public toilets in the bus stands.

Talking about public toilets, the train toilets have the same effect on people. The only toilets that are bearable are the ones in movie halls. They have music played in the toilets. The following pictures speak a lot about weird public toilets.

1) How and Why?

The college certificates of the engineer who designed the above urinals should be verified. I am sure he has a fake certificate. How can two people use this urinal at the same time? There are a few ways to use these two urinals at the same time.

1) The two men should stand at least 4 feet away from their respective urinals and they should have a good aim. Care should be taken to see that they don't pee on each other.

2) Both the men can stand closer to their respective urinals on one leg. The other leg can be placed on the urinal itself or can be kept on the wall.

2) Do you spit gums in the urinal?

In most of the urinals you can see two or three chewing gums. That's where 80 % of the chewing gums finally end at. Back in my college, we were asked to take the chewing gums with our hands if we spat them in the urinals. Recently when I saw the above picture, I was shocked to know that there are people who eat those chewing gums too. I had a friend Raju who used to take chewing gums from under the class benches and eat them. But who on earth would a person eat chewing gums from the urinals? Still there might have been cases of people eating from urinals and that might be a reason for such a strict sign board.

3) The Great Khali Urinal

In public urinals, one can see urinals for small children and for adults. They are placed at strategic places for people to use. But this urinal which is placed at 7 feet height is dedicated to the WWE wrestler Khali. Even he needs a chair to stand and pee on this urinal.

4) Save Water Campaign

Because of deforestation and because of concrete jungles cropping up, the water resources are becoming scantier everyday. There have been many "save water" campaigns that were made to make people understand what lies ahead for them if they do not save water.

What is mentioned in the picture is also a possibility in the future. Our former Prime Minister Morarji Desai drank urine. Probably in future, urine might become a drink too. So if you don't want to end up drinking your own urine, "Save water".

5) The Peeping Toms

Every man reading this article would have come across this guy. He will be there in every public urinal. He would peep into your urinal section while you are performing your act. I don't know why he does that? Does he gain wisdom by looking at some one else's private part? I don't know . But there are people who do that. They might not be gay. But still they do that. Do they have a complex problem? I don't know. But they do. If you want to know why they do that, go to a public toilet and someone would do that to you and when you do that, please ask them why they do that? Please let me know what their answer is.

6) Now! This one is Gay

In a public toilet, if you are the only person using the urinal you feel like a boss. You would feel like the owner of the place.

But when suddenly another person enters the urinal, you would feel like losing your private space in your own world. The problem happens when that person chooses to use the urinal which is next to the one that you are using.

Such a person is 100 % gay. Never ever entertain them. They also do the same thing that peeping toms do. But a gay person would also look and smile at you.

Not all peeping Toms are gays. But all gays are peeping Toms.

7) The World is mine

Every single Indian male would have done this. Yes! Peeing in public. It comes so naturally to us. It is a punishable offence in many countries.

But in our country, it is everyone's birth right because when you have to go, you really have to go.

There are some "Moothira Sandhus" (Urinal streets) in Chennai. If you could walk through the street without closing your nose, you should have a strong heart.

8) The day I slept in the Rest Room

Recently I went to a hotel to have dinner.

I have the habit of drinking lots and lots of water while eating and as a result my bladder became full. So I decided to use the rest room.

The rest room was so neat and I did not find any mistake in the rest room. I went back to my seat and started eating food. Once I was done with eating I went back to the wash room to wash my hands.

I saw a note that read "Keep your hands. Soap will Come". I waited there for a long time and the soap never came. Finally the bearer came and woke me up and told me to use the liquid soap container. The sensor soap was removed from the original place he said.

Moral of the article: Don't be innocent like me.

-Chronicwriter.

562.It is an Un-dark world

2013-03-11T22:44:00.003+05:30

The title might sound weird. You might be even thinking whether a word called undark exists? One might have come across the word unfair. But undark? No. The purpose of this post is to bring to light about the general understanding of the word fair and how this word is used widely.

The word Fair is used to denote the color of skin and also to denote something that is legitimate. The color dark is usually used in the negative connotation. Guys usually look for fair skinned girls and a girl will usually look for a guy with loads of money. This is a proven fact depicted by matrimonial sites.

In a matrimonial site, very few guys clearly tell their partner preference. They boldly say that they prefer slim, fair girls. But many guys would never say that thinking that the women community will think bad about them. But inwardly they always search for girls who are fair and slim. You may now say that dark skinned beauties like Bipasha Basu, Halle Berry and Nandita Das are admired by many men. Yes those women are loved by men because of their features irrespective of their dark skin tone. Exceptions happen like accidents.

When 5 photos of girls are placed in front of the guy, the guy would automatically look at the girl who is fair and slim. His partner preference would have been " I need a girl who cooks well, adjustable and homely". But when he sees a fair girl, he would not even worry about whether the girl is adjustable, homely and whether she could cook. Everything goes down the drain.

In some cases, the guys would say " I will pray to God and ask God to show me who the right girl is". Then they will see the girl's photo. If they do not like the girl, they will say "It is not God's will". But if the girl is fair, then they will say "God has shown me this girl". This is happening today in many homes; especially in Christian circles.

The girls are equally worse in this case. Their main criteria is money, even though many do not reveal it outside. I created a matrimonial profile for a friend of mine and I did not add his photo. I did not fill any columns. I just added his salary (6 digit salary). Within 24 hours my inbox was filled with matrimonial requests. Some of the girls even wrote personalised mails saying that they are ready to get married. These girls did not even mind looking at the guy because for them money is all they want.

Am I generalizing here? I would say Yes. Though many would never accept this, all I could say is this is the truth of today. The color dark (black) is usually used for all that is bad and ugly. Even during our childhood days, an angel would be shown wearing a white gown and satan would be walking around in a black dress with horns. The whole imagery is sown in our minds right from our childhood.

When something wrong happens, we say "It is so unfair". These are terms that are used in a sense that it equates darkness to something that is negative. So is this post gonna bring any change? No. definitely not.Things are not gonna change. Things are gonna remain the same. There will always be a negative thrust on darkness and people who are dark will indeed go through tough time and they will only get stronger and stronger. Yes it is a undark world indeed. Learn to live with it.

561. Why men hate shopping

2013-03-11T16:18:00.000+05:30

You might disagree with the title of the post saying that many men love to shop. Yes , that's there too. But I have decided to write an article on this topic. So shut up and read or just leave.

Twenty years ago

“Prason go to the grocery shop and buy some eggs”- mom would tell these words every now and then when I was a small boy. Why would she ask me to go to the grocery store especially when I am watching my favourite show on TV or when I am playing in the ground with my friends?

“Why don’t you ask akka (sister) to go to the store and buy the eggs? "

Mom would immediately say that the neighbourhood is not a safe place for girls to go alone and shop. Finally I would be forced to go to the shop to buy eggs. I would run to the shop as fast as I could with hopes of coming back home just in time to watch the rest of my favourite programme on TV. But when I finally reach the shop, there would be a long queue already waiting for their turn. After tackling some of them and by jumping the line, I finally would succeed in buying eggs. I would scamper as fast as I could and reach home only to find that my favourite show has just ended. To add salt to the injury, my mom would start screaming because 8 out of the 12 eggs would have cracked. At that moment, I would go through the same emotions that Rohit Sharma goes through for not getting selected in the squad and even when selected being at the receiving end of all Rohit Sharma jokes. This is the moment I started hating the word called “SHOPPING”.

Ten Years ago

My phone would ring. If it is from a girl, I would have mixed feelings. I would be happy to know that a girl has thought about me to call me on my mobile phone. At the same time, I would be scared of one thing. I would be scared for the following reasons

1) Chriz , Can you please top up my mobile phone by Rs 100 ?

Why would some one want me to top up their mobile phones using my one month pocket money? I would think again and again. But girls have a power in their voices. Some times I would say No. Some times their voice would melt me. Most of the time , they knew how to melt me

2) Chriz, Can you drop me in the shopping complex?

It would feel so good to give a lift to one of your girlfriends to the shopping complex. But it would also mean that you would have to hit petrol for your bike (using the pocket money your dad gives) and ten out of ten times you would have to wait for them and pick them back to their hostel. Sometimes you might mistake such outings for a date. But they are not. You would have to wait for the girl and sometimes you would have to accompany them to the coffee shop and end up paying the bill (using the pocket money your dad gives). Finally after dropping the girl back at the hostel. you would also get a sms " I had a very nice time today ... Muaaah :* ". You would preserve this sms for months and would delete it from your inbox only when you see her going on a bike with someone else. That is when you feel sorry for him. Yes! I have been there.

3) Chriz, Can you buy that notebook for me? I have curfew in hostel.

They would not have curfew in hostel when they go out for those dinners and shopping. But when they need some trivial stuff, they would say that they have curfew in hostel.

4) Chrizzzzy Sweetheart ( sweet girly tone), Can you pls plis pleasee take me to the new mall that is opening today?

Who would say no to that voice?

Now

After gaining years and years of experience. of dealing with internal pressures (home) and external pressures ( girlfriends), I have now come to a point where I now have a grip of the whole idea of shopping. These days my wife does all the shopping. The online shopping portals come to a great help (Nogama Nongu Saapdalaam). All you have to do is sit in front of the computer and buy all the products you need. We would go online and do any kind of transaction with ease. But one thing that reminds of my bad shopping past is when I try booking a ticket in IRCTC.

-Chronicwriter

560. The Legend of Sir Ravindra Jadeja

2013-03-05T15:14:00.000+05:30

His entrance to the Indian cricketing scene was not really worth remembering. He single handedly made sure that India got eliminated in the first round of two world cups. Then suddenly when he was bought for millions by Chennai Super Kings, he became the butt of all jokes. Munaf was no longer at the receiving end of all the cricket jokes. Jadeja became the center piece of all unwanted attention. People even started ignoring the monkey antics of Sreesanth.

A new mocking star was born in Indian Cricket. When ever he was selected in the Indian cricket team, India lost the series. Many said that he was a very talented man. But he was a talented guy only on paper as he did not fare well in the International scene. In fact he never wanted to hurt the feelings of the bowler, so he never scored runs.

There were times when the Indian film fraternity even wanted to nominate Jadeja for the oscars in the "Best actor in all rounder role" category. Ravindra Jadeja is like the Ram Gopal Verma of Cricket. People always expect him to fail and he never failed to meet their expectations. But something happened in 2012 and that is when the Legend of Ravindra Jadeja was born.

Trivia : India has never won a one day International match in which Jadeja has scored more than 50 runs

But the year 2012 and 2013 was the turning point in Jadeja's life. This was the year when an ordinary Jadeja became Sir Jadeja. He has now played only three test matches and India has never lost a test match when Jadeja was in the team. That's the difference this guy has brought to the Indian cricket team. Under cover agents revealed that the Queen is now contemplating whether to honor Jadeja with a knighthood. If they can do it to Rowan Atkinson, why not to Jadeja?

One more Trivia : He is the first bowler to get a wicket for India in the year 2013.

So until he gets a knighthood, let us stop using the letter J in our keyboard.

Note: The last picture was created by Chronicwriter. The first four pictures are taken from Jadeja fan page on facebook.

-Chronicwriter

559. Pot Belly is Sexy

2013-03-05T13:11:00.000+05:30

I recently read a Tamil article which detailed the different advantages of having a pot belly.

Inspired from that article, I am writing this article which lists out the various uses of having a pot belly.

I am adding my own thoughts too with my own nutcrackers.

The various advantages of Pot Belly

1) When you fall face down on the ground, the pot belly will protect your face from hitting the ground. If there is no pot belly there is a high chance of you breaking your nose, hurting your eyes, breaking your teeth and having a bad head injury which in turn will result in brain damage. So pot belly is actually a life saving attachment for your body.

2) It is one of the most wonderful time-pass object in the world. When you are bored and when you have nothing to do, you can scratch your pot belly. You can sit on a chair and scratch your belly. You can also stand and scratch your belly. Some times, you can even lie on your back and slowly scratch your belly. It give an awesome feeling to you. The bigger the belly, the greater the feeling.

3) It is also a wonderful play station for children. Children can use the pot belly as punching bags. If the person with the pot belly lies on his back, the children can play sliding down his pot belly. This increases the blood flow of little children and also their appetite. It also increases the brain power of the children and they become better citizens of the country.

4) When you don't have a table to keep your laptop, you can use your own belly to keep the laptop. Also you can write by keeping a notebook on your belly. So it actually acts as a table too.

5) If you have a fluffy pot belly, many people can use your belly as a pillow while sleeping. When you are touring with your family and if you had forgotten to take a pillow, you can use your belly as a pillow for your family.

6) When you walk in the sun, your belly will act as a shield to your feet, and toes. It blocks sun rays from reaching your toes. So it helps you from not dehydration.

7) If you are in a music concert and if the musician who plays the ghatam [ link ] had forgotten to bring the ghatam, you can ask him to use your tummy. Your tummy becomes a music instrument too. Make sure that you don't suffer from gastric problem when he plays your tummy.

8) If you have a big tummy, your respect increases. Examples are Policemen, Politicians.

9) Pregnant women carry the baby only for nine months. But when you have a pot belly, you carry it for life. People with pot belly are actually people who sacrifice their life for themselves. I salute them.

-Chronicwriter

558. Copied Movies.

2013-02-27T23:06:00.001+05:30

Many would hate me for writing this article. Some of the darkest secrets of Tamil/ World cinema would be revealed through this post. Some of the movies listed here are actually copied from wonderful movies from around the globe and the original movies were never given the due credit. The makers of the movie might justify their act by saying that their copied work was an inspiration and they did not copy the whole movie. But still the readers have the right to get correct information and here it is. This is not an exhaustive list.

1) Kadhal Kondein

The movie which launched actor Dhanush as the next big thing in Tamil cinema is a ripped version of the Reese Witherspoon starrer FEAR. Due credits were not given for this movie. If you have not watched Fear, you can watch it now

2) Mynaa

Prabhu Solomon's Mynaa made it possible for Amala Paul to enter the film world. The film got many awards. Very few actually know that this movie was copied from the action movie Dog bite Dog

3) Roja

When we hear the word Roja, the two names that cross our minds are Maniratnam and AR Rahman. How could one forget the Chinna Chinna Aasai song? This movie is telecasted on doordarshan every year on India's Independence day. This movie is copied from the movie Sunflower. No credits were given too. Why would a director like Maniratnam do such a thing? Maniratnam has copied many such movies. His movie Anjali is also a copied version.

4) Thenali

Universal star Kamal Hassan is known for his acting skills and his wonderful talents. He has another talent too. Yes, many of his movies are remakes and copied versions. The movie Thenali is copied from the flick What about Bob? Due credits were not given

5) The Joker

Who can forget the Joker from Dark Knight? He still haunts many of us in our dreams. The concept of joker was actually copied from a Tamil movie called Rudra. The Indian joker role was donned by the Steven Spielberg of Tamil Cinema - Mr.K. Bhagyaraj. He did not create any scene when Hollywood copied his idea in their movie. But he created a stir by complaining about the movie KLTA

6) Viswaroopam

Kamal Hassan's Viswaroopam which hit the screens after much struggle is a class work by Kamal Hassan. But his characterisation is a copied version of how Chronicwriter looked 3 years ago. Chronicwriter could have sued him for not giving due credits. But because he has a thangamaana manasu, he did not create any problem. Will Kamal Hassan share his profit with Chronicwriter. We have to wait and see

Note :The brain behind the last picture is my dear brother "Balaji Lakshmipathy"

Now you can start spitting on this post. Start Meesic

- Chronicwriter

557. The Red Panther

2013-02-27T14:20:00.002+05:30

My Daughter Anya has now acted in a thriller flick. In the movie she has donned the role of Anya who is a world famous robber. She goes through intense training to steal the Red Panther (The royal box of chocolates). Watch this small movie to see how Anya performs the task.

The movie is for General Audiences. No animal or human being was hurt during the making of the movie.

-Chronicwriter

556. Some Universal Truths

2013-02-22T12:14:00.001+05:30

1) Every one who gets into the swimming pool/ beach will pee there.

2) Every girl would ask her husband " How much do you love me? "

3) Everyone would have got an electric shock at least once in their life time

4) People will accept any crime. No one will own a Fart

5) Labrador is not a dog. It is a sheep in Dog's clothing.

6) Every one was a bed wetter during the childhood days. Some never come out of childhood.

7) Cafeterias in workplaces are mainly used for gossips

8) Boys are scared of Raksha Bandan day

9) Hostel food tastes bad.

10) There is always a boss who is a pain in every subordinate's lives

11) The lab assistances in colleges always help the students during the university exams

12) Everyone who swims in the sea will swallow salt water

13) There is no relationship between point number 1 and point number 12

14) A friend will always stab you in the front. Those who stab behind are not your friends.

15) Even if a married man changes his job many times, his boss always remains the same

16) When you are in school your IQ level will be worse than the IQ of Rakhi Sawant. But when you are in your school bus looking through the window, you are Albert Einstein.

17) When ever we write nonsense in exams, there is always a teacher who will stand next to you and watch what you write

18) When you were a child, it does not matter where you fall asleep. It might have been on the sofa or on the floor. You will always wake up on your bed.

19) When you are on the car and when you drive behind a big truck, the movie "Final destination" comes to your mind

20) The Clear History button in the computer has saved many relationships

21) There is always a teacher in school who will be so stingy in giving marks as if the marks were their dad's property.

22) Seeing an insect in your room is not at all a problem. It becomes a problem when it disappears.

23) Everyone would think twice before using the door where the PUSH/PULL sign is written.

24) When ever we put a costly object in a safe place, we end up forgetting where the safe place is.

25) Most relationships start with a click on the " Add Friend" button and ends with the "Block" button

26) In an exam there is always some who suddenly uses the calculator and you have no clue why

27) If there is a 15 second sex scene in a 2 and a half hour movie, your parents will always walk in during those 15 seconds.

28) Artists are born in a boring classroom.

29) There is always a song that you love so much that you end up listening to it a hundred times in a day and you eventually start hating it

30) Everyone who visits a super market would have been mistaken for a store employee at least once in their life.

-Chronicwriter

555. Topless picture of Tamanna

2013-02-14T10:38:00.002+05:30

For all those who came to this page searching for a topless picture of Tamanna, I wanna first welcome you to my page and wish you a happy valentines day.

Today I wore a green shirt and green trousers to work. My colleagues were in for a shock and some of them started advising me telling that I should have worn a red dress and not a green attire. That is when I remembered that red underwear of mine that superman lost in my blog four years ago.

If you take a closer look at my pants, you can see that it is actually a military trouser. So it is actually a statement saying that I am a strict oppicer.

Coming back to the subject line, I am sure that many came here searching for some skin show. When I look at the statistics for this post, I will get an idea of how many readers came here for what reason. :p On the internet every one is a dog. Yes every single person is a dog. But no body knows you are a dog. So don't fret.

I think I have tested your patience with this blog post. So those who have read till this part are the lucky ones who will get to see the topless picture of Tamanna. Click this [link] to see the topless picture of Tamanna. I am the first person to release this picture. This is gonna go viral and believe me all you readers who were lucky to catch a glimpse of the picture will have a place for me in their hearts from now onwards.

-Chronicwriter

554. Train Travel and Valentines day

2013-02-13T15:23:00.000+05:30

There is a strong connection between train travel and valentines day. You would have seen many movie climaxes in the railway station. This morning while I was in the loo, I found the exact connection between trains and relationships. I am not gonna explain things in detail I will just give the meaning of some of the terms. You can solve the puzzle yourselves.

This is from the view of the Boy.

1) Unreserved seat - A relationship without commitment

2) Second Class seat - A middle class figure

3) First class seat - Costly figure

4) Chair car - The coffee shop dates. You can see them in coffee day

5) A/C -2nd and 3rd - High maintenance figures

6) A/C -1st Class - Enter territory only if you are in the Forbe's list

7) Ticket Collector - The girl's father / Brother / Boyfriend /Husband

8) Rajdhani Express - Rich Figures

9) Platform Ticket - All the one side lover boys

10) Ticketless travel - Kalla Kaadhal (Pudipatta dharma adi confirmed)

11) Ticket counter - Schools/ Colleges/ Tutorial Colleges.

12) IRCTC - Matrimonial sites and social networking sites. They have loads of girls profiles. None of the girls would like you.

13) Tatkal - Love under pressure where you have no other choice and no time to take a decision.

14) The railway food - Pouring oil in fire in a relationship

15) The rats in the train - The mood swings that your girlfriend has. Every train and every girl has it. You never know when it will come.

16) Train toilets - Relationships that you don't want to be in; but you don't have a choice.

17) RAC - The relationship which will give you that hope and you have to enter into a discussion with the girl's father

18) Waiting list - Varum aaanaa varaadhu type of girls

19) Train cancelled - Love failure

Every year, Valentines day comes and goes. This is my second valentines day after I met Joan and the first valentines day after Anya came into our lives. We all wish every one around the globe a wonderful valentines day. Keep Loving one another.

Spread the Love

Keep Smiling

To all single men : There was a time I used to think that it was cool being single. I have crossed that fox-grape stage.

You will soon find your lady love and you will also get immersed in love soon.

To all those who oppose valentines day : Get a life

If you are wondering where I fit in, in the above 19 points, I would like to tell you that I don't prefer the train.

I am a natural born swimmer and I am in the blue lagoon.

- Chronicwriter