Last week I talked about my lack of fashion sense in general but also particularly since having Sam last year. Getting two children ready in the morning, shuffling one off to school most days and working from home have allowed me to develop a strategy of wearing the least complicated and most comfortable options possible. After seeing an article in the Daily Mail highlighting some BRILLIANT style bloggers, like School Gate Style, who just so happen to be nominated for BritMums Brilliance in Blogging Awards, I vowed to be a Scummy Mummy No More!

I have attempted to record my “style” from last week to show you just what a sad case I am. I had Ella take pictures of me each morning as we prepared to leave the house for the school run. The slight blurry state (and somewhat cropped hair) is down to a 3 3/4 year old taking a picture of me from across the room. She was an admirable assistant, however.

So here are my wardrobe choices for the week beginning 7 May, 2012. Monday 7 May was the Bank Holiday and I spent most of the day dressed in my Scummy Mummy Go-To FAT sweatshirt and pyjama bottoms. SEXY!

Tuesday Morning:

Another “go-to” wardrobe choice: BLACK LEGGINGS! On this particular morning I chose black leggings, a black long-sleeved top and my salmon-pink Reebok hoody vest. I do believe the black leggings were also a pair of MATERNITY leggings from George. Yes, I still wear MATERNITY clothes at 6 months post delivery. My shoes? My black Reeboks although in this photo I am wearing slippers. We hadn’t left the house yet! Don’t you love the way I am posing like all the celebs when they walk the red carpet? This “crossed leg” stance is supposed to make you look thinner! Maybe I should have gone for an “Angelina Jolie” leg??

Wednesday Morning:

On this occasion I decided to push the boat out and wear jeans. However, I also pushed the boat out and wore one of my favourite MATERNITY t-shirts as well. I believe this t-shirt is an XL MATERNITY t-shirt…it’s BIG! Notice how I still manage to look pregnant? Lovely isn’t it?

I have the t-shirt, jeans and I think I wore my Fit Flops…footwear choice for all good Scummy Mummies no? Have I also mentioned that I like COMFORT?? Is that obvious at all?

Thursday Morning:

I believe I may have got it right on this particular morning. Mind you, I was heading off to a press event in Amsterdam at Bugaboo HQ so I made a slightly bigger effort to be presentable.

I wore NEW pink, skinny jeans from Matalan, flat pumps/trainers from Matalan, a long pink t-shirt (NOT maternity but “floaty), a black cardigan and a long pink scarf.

Shortly after this picture was taken the man demo-ing the Donkey to us asked me if I was expecting my first baby. Sigh…Yes, once again, asked if I was pregnant. Following that question and a bit of time wallowing in self-pity (and contemplating downing an entire tray of Prosecco) I expertly draped my LONG scarf down my front to try to disguise my “pregnant” belly. Good times.

Friday Morning:

Back home from Amsterdam and after very little sleep, I was seriously lacking in the will to dress appropriately for Ella’s last school run of the week. Thus, my hair is slighly wild and I’m back to my usual staple wardrobe choices.

I’m wearing a red Tog24 fleece with t-shirt underneath, black leggings, black Reebok trainers and my son Sam in the Baby Bjorn carrier. Until I manage to NOT look pregnant I may continue to wear Sam in the Baby Bjorn as at least then no one can make the mistake of asking if I am pregnant. He makes a lovely accessory, don’t you think?

There we have it. My style. Or lack thereof. I would appreciate any advice, wardrobe suggestions and/or personal shopping that anyone cares to offer. Maybe I should just consider starting a Scummy Mummy line of clothes based in black, highlighting leggings (preferably MATERNITY) and specialising in Baby Wearing as camoflage. Dragon’s Den, here I come!

Week Two of #SnapHappyBritMums and I really am loving this challenge. It’s fun having a bit of inspiration to either look at the world from a slightly different perspective or dive into your archives to come up with something perfect to fit the theme. This week’s themes were:

• Warmth (Mon)
• Best Part of Me (Tues)
• Inside My Fridge (Wed)
• Blossoms (Thurs)
• Frozen (Fri)
• K.I.S.S.I.N.G (Sat)
• Guilty Pleasure (Sun)

Will you join us this week for more #SnapHappyBritMums fun?

This is me. In my “morning wear”. I don’t wear “pyjamas” per se but I do wear a BIG t-shirt to bed. In the mornings I throw on an oversized sweatshirt like the one in the picture on the left (my FAVOURITE sweatshirt that used to be hubby’s, from FAT Face…hence the FAT). Then I put on leggings of some sort. I tend to the children, get them dressed and looking more than appropriate for school and the day. Then, approximately 20-30 minutes before we need to leave the house I consider getting dressed myself.

I’m not so scummy that I do the school run dressed thus, however, my general uniform is leggings and a big sweatshirt which then gets covered up by Sam who is in the Baby Bjorn carrier & weather cover on my front. I feel safe and secure this way. I sometimes manage to get a bath in before we go but I rarely put makeup on anymore. I simply put de-frizzing lotion in my hair, put lotion on my face, clear lip balm on my lips and head out the door. Sexy.

I’ve sort of given up haven’t I? In fact, today, hubby even remarked that I don’t put much effort into my appearance any more. That’s always nice to hear! I’ve been dressing “comfortably” for years now. I spent 10 years, prior to coming to the UK, as a Gymnastics Director which meant I was perpetually in leggings, sweatpants, polo shirts and sweatshirts (no, I didn’t wear leotards, sorry to disappoint). Trainers are my favourite type of shoe although I do love shoes. And to top it all off I have a very odd shape to try to fit nowadays. Pear-shaped doesn’t quite cut it.

I wonder what sort of fruit I could classify myself as? A grape for a head, a mango for a body and 2 leeks for legs (ok, I know they aren’t fruit). I have size 12 or 14 trousers (as long as they fall at the hip below my giant do-lap belly) but a size 16-20 top depending on the High Street shop. Finding clothes that flatter my bizarrely shaped body is a challenge to say the least. I look about 6 months pregnant still but don’t want people to see that. Short of wearing a tent, I don’t know how to deal with this. I need an intervention. I’m desperate to throw out just about every piece of my wardrobe and start over. I want to be presentable, comfortable, cute and comfortable. Did I mention comfortable? Think White Stuff, Fat Face…that sort of stuff. I’m not opposed to skirts and dresses. High heels are pretty much a non-starter as my feet just don’t accept it. Flats, pumps, comfort is the key.

I need help! I went out to Matalan today to try to find a few things for myself. I came home with new shirts, onesies, shoes and socks for Sam, flip-flops and hair accessories for Ella and finally a new top, pink jeans and pump-like trainers. I didn’t try anything on in the store. The jeans fit and look fine. The top makes me look six months pregnant and is going back. The shoes are good…I’m wearing them as I type. Now what?

My goal is to buy some items that can help me achieve the “School Gate” look for less yet still retain my comfort level. I’m going to take a picture of my Scummy Mummy fashion style this week to show you just how much help I really need. Get ready to shriek in horror. At least I don’t wear my dressing gown and slippers to take Ella to school. I’ll display the results at the end of the week. Any and all advice is welcome. Or sponsorship by White Stuff and/or Fat Face. I’m not picky!

Sunday morning I got a lie-in! Sam decided to wake up at 5:45am so I bade Mark and Sam farewell and gleefully turned over and went back to sleep for another two hours. Then suddenly I was greeted by Ella and Mark singing “Happy Birthday” and carrying the Lego-DUPLO Cupcakes for me to enjoy in bed! No, it’s not my birthday but Ella suggested to Mark that they should make Mummy some cakes and take them to me in bed. And they did!

We have had the Lego-DUPLO Creative Cakes set for several months now (Bad Mummy Blogger) and I have to say that it is one of Ella’s favourite of all of her Lego-DUPLO sets. She instantly set to making one cupcake after another, positioning the candles, making me blow them out and wondering what I wished for. I’ve been wanting to build a Lego-DUPLO oven to “make” the cakes in but that’s waiting for a rainy day (hmmmm) when Sam is well occupied.

What we love about Lego-DUPLO is that EVERY child loves it. Boy, Girl, pastel, primary colours, Police Station, Creative Cakes…it’s a wonderful role playing tool for children and even gets parents on the floor playing as well. I have some obsessive-compulsive issues with symmetry but I’m working on that. My only challenge now is that I never remember how to reassemble the sets to make them properly but that just adds to the danger!

We have been Lego-DUPLO Ambassadors for over a year now and are exceptionally proud and grateful to have the opportunity. Last year we had the pleasure of visiting the Lego Store in Westfield Shopping Centre in London and were able to get a sneak peek of products like the Creative Cakes and Cinderella’s Castle. Even though Ella is more than happy to play with her police station and Cars sets, I’m pretty excited that Lego-DUPLO has started making some “girly” sets as well. It just adds to the fun. I’m sure Sam will have a great time making Creative Cakes when he’s old enough.

Lego-DUPLO has also supported me through sponsorship to Cybermummy last year and has been extremely generous by providing us with several Lego-DUPLO sets for Ella to use her imagination with. We also had a Lego-DUPLO theme for Ella’s 3rd birthday last year which was a real hit with the guests. While I have been a somewhat lax Mummy Blogger as of late (can I blame it on the baby??), I have to stress again how proud we are to support Lego-DUPLO and how much Ella thoroughly enjoys all of her Lego-DUPLO sets. So thank you Lego-DUPLO…we can’t wait to see what you come up with next!

**Disclaimer: We are Lego-DUPLO Ambassadors and have received several Lego-DUPLO sets for review purposes. I was sponsored for Cybermummy last year and we were treated to a weekend in London last year to visit the Westfield Lego Store. This does not affect my opinion of Lego-DUPLO and my words come from the heart.**

This week BritMums launched a month-long photo challenge called #SnapHappyBritMums to encourage people to get out, take pictures and post them through social media channels. Marianne and I came up with the themes and have challenged the blogosphere to join in. Here are my snaps from the week that was- #SnapHappyBritMums Week One!

Themes:

1. 1st thing in the morning
2. Pampering
3. School Days
4. Tipple
5. Blue
6. View from Above

First thing in the Morning

Pampering

School Days

Tipple

Blue

View from Above

Next Week’s Themes:

1. Warmth
2. Best Part of Me
3. Inside my Fridge
4. Blossoms
5. Frozen
6. K.I.S.S.I.N.G.
7. Guilty Pleasure

Will you be joining in?? #SnapHappyBritMums

Back in February I blogged about having a Real Mummy Tummy. I dared to talk about celebrity Mum extreme weight loss post delivery and received some sharp criticism for it. Fair enough. I still stand by the fact that it’s silly the lengths that celebrity Mums go through to get back to pre-baby shape. Yes, some are blessed with good genes but most are blessed with loads of support, help and crazy diets. Anyhoo…I digress.

I’ve made no secret about the fact that I continue to be well overweight and very unhappy with my body nearly six months post delivery of Sam. I have not dieted. I really have not exercised. I tend to wallow in “woe is me” more often than not and then don’t do anything about it. I’m also battling PND and trying to claw my way back to me. Being ill with pneumonia in April made me take stock and realise that there are more important things in life. As the anti-depressants kicked in, I began to feel more myself. In recent days I have been wondering if maybe, in fact, I have lost a teeny bit of weight.

So today, while trawling through my ginormous photo library on the laptop, I stumbled across this photo which I used in the February “Real Mummy Tummies” post. I decided to put on the same top and take a new photo nearly 3 months on…what do you think??

Still not where I want to be by any means. Still mistaken for being pregnant by strangers. BUT, definitely a smaller me! Will wonders never cease!

Why?

I’m thinking…wondering…contemplating.

Why do I blog? Well, it’s to document our life, our adventures, our struggles, our fun.

I’m approaching my blog’s 3rd birthday.

My question to you is, WHY do you come to Cafe Bebe?

I’m trying to decide if what I need is total reinvention, a make-over or just to stop altogether.

I’d love to know your thoughts…

I wrote this post several months back when I was struggling with a lot of blogging and personal issues. I’ve been quite open about my PND and am starting to get a handle on that. However, I still struggle with the blogging world more often than not these days. I’ve seen terrible comments and wars erupt and I just don’t understand how or why. I’ve decided to publish this post after letting it languish in the Drafts folder of the blog…

I’ve been blogging now for nearly 3 years. I started blogging to have a voice; to have an outlet; to share my words, stories and experiences; to have a place of my own. Blogging has been a salvation for me and a burden. I love the place I have created but at times it has seemed like a noose around my neck.

One of the reasons that I closed comments on Cafe Bebe for the month of February was that I wanted to get back to the heart of why I started blogging which was the writing. I did NOT close comments on Cafe Bebe to hide behind a safety net.

In 2011 I experienced the difficulty of receiving negative comments which I had never experienced before. But these negative comments weren’t simply a “difference of opinion”. They turned into a personal attack (in my opinion). I had several people reminding me that if I was going to put myself “out there”, I had to be prepared for people to disagree. I have no issue with disagreement if done in a constructive way. What I see often times in the virtual world these days are too many people jumping on the bandwagon and disagreeing for the sake of hurting someone.

It becomes a bit like piranha in for a kill. The first piranha strikes, blood is in the water and then a frenzy kicks off. The other piranha dive in, smell blood and seek and destroy. Not much is left behind. The pack moves on to the next victim. I have seriously considered quitting blogging this year. I’m not dealing well with people who feel the need to “seek and destroy”.

I watched a documentary on BBC2 a while ago about Cyberbullying. It was primarily focusing on people who have been targeted on Facebook. Facebook seems to be an easy place to be bullied. Facebook pages live forever (until you close them down) where Twitter tends to disappear in a matter of minutes as the Twitter stream moves on. It’s still more than feasible for cyberbullying to take place on Twitter, however. In the Panorama documentary, the presenter shared stories of people who had committed suicide as a result of cyberbullying. The “trolls” who lead the attack on these unsuspecting victims hide behind the security of their online persona. I seriously doubt, in real life, they would ever be so horrid to a real live person.

In the blogging world, there’s not a lot of hiding with regards to negative comments. Sure, you can be “An O Nymous” and let ‘er rip but most bloggers/commenters tend to use their actual identities. This is where it can sometimes be more painful. “When Bloggers Attack” is a title that springs to mind! But why do it? If you are going to have a “difference of opinion” why can it not be done in a CONSTRUCTIVE way? Sometimes blog posts are written and perhaps inadvisibly published in a flurry of emotion. Perhaps the blogger should have hit “Save Draft” instead of “Publish” or “Schedule”? Is it really necessary to be cruel in your disagreement with that blogger? Pointing out personal flaws or perceptions that are actually incorrect isn’t disagreeing is it?

It’s easy to gang up on a post or an article. I’ve seen controversial articles published in online newspapers/magazines that have hundreds of truly frightening comments. I’m not always right when writing posts. I’ve been known to rant and get cross. I really do need to think before I publish from time to time. But I can honestly say that even when I have read a post that I felt really surprised by and wondered how the blogger could have written that, the way I vote is with a click…away. Granted, I don’t do a lot of commenting unless I feel that I have something to ADD to the discussion or I’ve been really moved by the writer’s work. Perhaps all of us would be wise to adopt that same practise?

Next Thursday I’m going to be spending the day in a place famous for…

This

And this…and is, in fact, this…

I’m going on a SECRET mission that has to do with something near and dear to my heart…and involves wheels and chassis and things that I have far too many of…

Stay tuned for more news…just call me Jetsetter Bebe!

Yesterday I had my last meeting with the Health Visitor. I had had two meetings previously, in my house. We chatted about things I was struggling with, things I was over-coming and how to cope. She was actually really helpful, encouraging and talkative. On the first meeting I was really nervous, thinking that she would be evaluating me, the kitchen, Sam’s well-being and the cleanliness of the house. I furiously cleaned, organised and sorted and came very close to cancelling the meeting.

I kept the meeting in the end and was grateful for it, ultimately. If she was “evaluating” me, Sam and the house, she at least covered it well. Knowing I had the meetings with the Health Visitor forced me to keep taking my “baby steps”, to make and keep GP appointments and have progress to report. I felt like she was a cheerleader too, making me see why I may have dipped into post-natal depression and applauding some of my small victories. She commended my bond with Sam and his health and happiness which made me feel wonderful. The one thing I have never struggled with is my bond with Sam and my knowledge that at least I was a good Mummy to Sam.

Our meeting yesterday was much like the other two. I welcomed the Health Visitor in but invited her into the lounge for the first time. I have had a renewed interest in cleaning and organising and the lounge was looking pretty good so I thought I would show it off. I put Sam in his walker and we chatted about what had happened over the past four weeks. I am feeling so much stronger, happier and able to cope which I communicated to the Health Visitor. She said something then which I struggled to understand a bit due to her accent (Eastern European) and quick speech. She said “You’re feeling a bit more Jan”. I sort of glossed over that as I wasn’t sure what I heard.

I continued reporting on my state of mind and my concerns about my physical self and queried what I should do about that. She encouraged me to go back to the GP to discuss my umbilical hernia and significant abdominal separation and get something done about it. The Health Visitor asked me then if I wanted to meet again and I said that I actually felt strong enough to stop the home visits as if I needed help and support I would get in touch and do so quickly. She was happy with that and then stood up and said “Well, Janice, I am really pleased that you’re feeling so well. You’ve come a long way. Well done”.

Eh? Who’s Janice? She thought my name was JANICE. My name is so not Janice. It’s Karin. She’s visited me two times previously; she knew my name was Karin; she knew Sam’s name! I didn’t say anything. I didn’t want to embarrass her. I just said, “Thank you Maria” and escorted her out. I shut the door and laughed. Just call me Janice I guess!