“Want to learn to make coffee like a pro? Pull the perfect shot? Steam milk to glassy perfection? Pour latte art? Purchase this perk and you and a friend will get a 3 hour one-on-one session with one of our expert baristas.”

Uh, yeah?

I saw that a few months ago when I was checking out what was up with one of my favorite cafes, Awaken Cafe. Previously just a small coffee shop on 14th street in between Franklin and Broadway in Oakland, Awaken had closed its doors with plans to open a bigger and better cafe in Downtown Oakland. After being closed for a while, they temporarily had a coffee cart open as they were working on the cafe. Back in December, they offered “perks” to people who donated specific amounts of money in order to get just a little bit more to help them open their doors.

When I started working in Uptown Oakland a few years ago, there wasn’t too much around in terms of actual cafes. But then my little sister, who worked in Downtown Oakland a few blocks from my location, told me about this coffee shop. So one day, I got off of BART at the 12th street exit instead of 19th and got myself a mocha.

This ended up being a regular thing with me, stopping off here once a week or every two weeks to get something to drink and then walking over to work. I never once had a mocha that was “off”. I loved this place and couldn’t wait for the new cafe to open and so I purchased the perk for purely, um, selfless reasons.

Awaken Cafe officially opened its cafe doors in February and this past Monday, my coffee partner-in-crime* and I showed up at 7pm to partake in the training session we scheduled.

It totally surpassed my expectations.

After an intro to learning about the intricacies of coffee, we found ourselves on a La Marzocco espresso machine, trying our hand at pulling shots, steaming milk, and attempting to make latte art. I made a blob! On my very first try.

There are so many things one had to think about when making an espresso drink. On some level I knew that but I still had no idea. Every little thing can change how espresso turns out so much so that the first shots of espresso I produced tasted much different than the ones I made not two minutes later.

My very first shots of espresso on the La Marzocco!

At any good coffee shop, they will grind the beans only when they are going to make the coffee or espresso. The amount of air that the grounds are exposed to will directly affect the taste so it’s up to the barista to grind the beans directly in the portafilter, smooth out the grounds evenly, tamp down the coffee, and get it onto the machine to produce espresso as fast as possible while making sure nothing was compromised.

And even then you are not safe.

When one starts up the machine to generate the espresso, the part where the water goes through the coffee to create the espresso, the process called “extracting”, should take 25-30 seconds to generate the proper amount of espresso. Any time water spends running through the espresso beyond that would be over-extracting. Less than that, under-extracting. Even if you did happen to turn everything off at the right time, you could still end up with either too little or too much espresso, which means you messed up even before you attached the portafilter to the machine!

And when you bring the process of steaming milk into the mix, which has its own process, things get slightly more complicated as you time the steaming with the extracting.

Towards the end of the night, as I drank my self-made mocha with the espresso I accidentally over-extracted while steaming the milk I ended up making too hot (what can I say, I’m a natural), I really appreciated everyone who puts thought and energy into making good espresso. Anyone can become well-versed at pulling a great shot of espresso but you would have to want to get good at it, if that makes sense. I would love somehow to still work on the methods that I learned to get better at it.

I felt really good as my friend and I left Awaken that night. I got an even deeper look into the world of coffee, acquired some really great knowledge, and got to make espresso on a La Marzocco at one of my favorite cafes in Oakland. I was feeling giddy… a feeling which may have been enhanced by the four or so shots of espresso I consumed that evening.

Good times, good times.

By the way, Awaken Cafe was recently featured in an article in the San Francisco Chronicle about the resurgence of Downtown Oakland – Oakland’s Occupy flash point now thriving

*I used to go off on my own all the time to get coffee, if I hadn’t already gotten it before I even started working. Somehow though I started getting coffee with my coworker/friend Emily. When I first IM’d her the description of the perk, she asked if she could be the “friend” who got to take part in the training, which I thought was funny since it was only natural she got to take part in this too. Fun fact- Not only is Emily my coffee buddy, but she also taught me how to drive a stick shift.

Note:
On taking pictures – I was thinking about bringing my SLR to the training so I could fully document the entire night but instead I just brought my point and shoot. Only a few pictures really came out since it was pretty dark indoors and I don’t like using the flash on that camera. For a second I did lament the fact that I didn’t bring my SLR but I realized that the point here was for me to really take part in this training and learn something. When I really start taking pictures, I don’t pay attention to much else and I could only imagine how everyone would be annoyed at me as I tried to make sure all my pictures turned out well. Not only that, but I doubt I would have gotten as much out of the training had I tried to take pictures every step of the way. I think I made the right call here because although I don’t have a ton of pics from the night, I was really able to fully absorb all that was going on and be an active participant in the moment rather than just a spectator.

When I think “West”, I think of the United States. It’s all about us!

But then there’s the UK – the initial West. There are quite a few Muslims from a host of countries that have settled there and, I believe, before a lot of immigrants from “Muslim” countries even started coming to the United States.

Take Imran Ahmad.

Born in 1962, he moved with his family from Karachi, Pakistan to England at the age of 2. His family went from middle class to the not-so-desired class of “coloreds” in a land that didn’t take too well to the immigrants that were entering into their country. He details his experience in his memoir The Perfect Gentleman.

Back in 2007, Imran Ahmad came out with his memoir in the UK under the title Unimagined. Now, five years later, this book has finally been published in the United States under this new title. Funny enough, I actually had read Unimagined when it first came out – I got it through a non-U.S. Amazon site after I heard about it on a UK podcast.

In the book, Ahmad writes about growing up in the UK after having moved there from Pakistan when he was little. At the start of each chapter, he lists the year and how old he was so we start off with Ahmad from the time he was a little kid who lost out on a Bonnie Baby contest (think of it as a cute toddler contest) in Pakistan to the age of 43.

Even though I had previously read and enjoyed the book, I got a lot more out of it this time around. I think it may be because I have much more appreciation for this type of story than I used to, especially since I’ve been writing/attempting to write about culture and religion more these past few years.

Ahmad grew up in a different time and place than me and those few years and thousands of miles meant a slight difference even though he still grew up in the west. By being brown, Ahmad and his family always seemed to be on the receiving end of some sort of racism in England. With Ahmad, that included bullying at school from certain individuals, even though he was in nice and proper schools.

Ahmad didn’t know anything about Islam until he was 11 years old and started attending Islamic school on Sundays. Before that, he didn’t know anything or even why he did certain things – he knew he couldn’t eat pork but didn’t even know why until he was at a friend’s place and the friend’s mother mentioned it. Over the years, he found himself learning more about Islam while becoming a magnet for people who wanted to somehow convert him to their religion. For Ahmad, the part that rattled him was the fact that these people were so certain in their message, a certainty that he lacked for his own faith.

I love that Ahmad is completely honest and doesn’t shy away from writing about his doubts. We all have questions and if you are faced with a host of other messages without having full knowledge of what it is you are meant to believe in, your faith would be tested all the time. It wasn’t until Ahmad learned more that he felt a bit more secure in his own religion.

This isn’t a somber story of his tale of woe, mind you. Quite the opposite! The biggest reason why this book works is because of Imran Ahmad’s personality. He comes across as incredibly down to earth and moral while still being funny and lighthearted. The reader can tell that even at a young age, Ahmad has always wanted to do the right thing and could see through any hypocrisy that he witnessed. It all may be because he didn’t place first at the Bonnie Baby contest due to nepotism and to be a victim of that at such a young age helped shape that kind of guy he turned out to be.

Imran Ahmad, dressed up for the Bonnie Baby contest

If the above doesn’t work for you, read it just to bear witness to Imran Ahmad’s incredible awkwardness with girls, which is more than a little amusing. His unwavering faith that he would marry Janice, a friend of his in college, made me want to somehow reach out to 20 something year old Imran to tell him to just let it go, man.

The Perfect Gentleman – Imran Ahmad really does try to be one. His aspirations to be James Bond, drive a Jaguar XJ6, and try to communicate with girls while growing up brown and Muslim in the West makes for a great story.

Further reading – Check out my review a couple of years ago for the British miniseries Britz. I wrote a bit about what I think the difference is between Muslims in England and Muslims in the U.S.

Last night’s episode of How I Met Your Mother had an interesting premise – Ted and Marshall, and later Barney, had been watching the Star Wars Trilogy every 3 years and would think about what their lives will be like the next time they watch the trilogy.

The episode wasn’t the best (although I really appreciated the ending) but it got me thinking about the times that I’ve watched the Star Wars trilogy. I’ve seen it a number of times* but one of the most memorable was back in 1999, before Episode 1 came out.

A few of us had tickets to see it opening night and so to better prepare for it, we watched the Star Wars trilogy beforehand – A New Hope one night, next night Empire Strikes Back, and then the day after that, the day that Episode 1 opened, we watched Return of the Jedi, followed by Spaceballs (why not?). After Spaceballs, it was up to one other friend and me to go to the theater and hold all of our places. We got there well before the time of our show, securing first place in line. It helped that we we didn’t go to school that day (I was sort of sick, I swear!).

That was the year I graduated high school so this viewing of the trilogy took place maybe a month or so before I graduated. Unlike Ted and Marshall, I didn’t actively think about what my life would be by the next time I saw the trilogy, but I had a pretty good idea of where I thought everything would lead.

In English class around that time, we had to write up our life goals or something along those lines. I wrote that my goal was to get an MBA and to make six figures. Yes, I actually wrote that. My teacher wrote the following on the paper – “What about happiness?” I figured that would just come with my degree and money, that I wouldn’t have to actively seek it and therefore didn’t have to write it down.

Eventually, my interest in getting an MBA faded as I closed in on my Bachelors, along with my need to make crazy amounts of money. Money = awesome, but I cringe when I think about what I wrote back in 12th grade as to what my goals were. There’s nothing wrong with getting an MBA but tying it in with my happiness was ridiculous. And so my life goals have completely changed in the years since those days of 1999. Now my goal is to be happy and make sure to never compromise who I am in the interest of getting ahead. I have a number of other goals but they aren’t really ones to share on here, alas :)

I did think my life would be different than how it has turned out but I can’t complain as I’m leading a pretty blessed life, Alhamdulilah. Also, I’m lucky to have some of those same friends from way back in 1999 during those Star Wars days – The friend who I stood in line with for hours is the one whose wedding I MC’d back in August in Toronto and our friend Monica was one of the people who took advantage of our front of the line status.

I think I want to start a Star Wars tradition too where I set myself some goals and see how it all turns out by the next time I watch the trilogy after a set number of years. I’ll try to be realistic though and not envision myself in a band in three years. It could happen but, well, doubtful.

*Return of the Jedi was actually the first movie I ever watched in the theater.

When I first heard about the exhibit titled Maharaja: The Splendor of India’s Royal Courts at the Asian Art Museum in San Francisco, I thought to myself Cool, I should check that out since, y’know, India and Pakistan are neighbors and I’m totally Pakistani. (Some others may have been thinking: India isn’t in Asia!*)

It took me only a second to realize that in the time of maharajas in India, Pakistan and India were one country so I would in fact be partaking in an exhibit that dealt with my own culture, my own background.

Maharaja Exhibit Sign Outside of Museum

I finally made it this past weekend, officially the last weekend of the exhibit. As I made my way through the rooms of the exhibit, taking it all in, I tried to picture this time in India when maharajas ruled. The museum had clothes, jewelry, weapons, carriages, and paintings depicting a period I had such a hard time visualizing in my head, despite the tangible evidence in front of me. I couldn’t reconcile the India from the exhibit to the India/Pakistan I know of now. Short of watching Lagaan or Jodha Akbaar, I realized I hadn’t even really watched many movies that were even close to reflecting a time when Maharajas were the norm.

After going through the exhibit, my need to visit India is more than it was before, especially since my family originally came from the “India” side of India, from Uttar Pradesh or “U.P.”

From what I know, my family was doing all right there before they had to move to the Pakistan side after 1947. They basically put a lock on the door of the house before they had to leave. My dad once told my sister and me about having to stay in a camp in Pakistan after they arrived and sneaking out to get a cookie. He didn’t think too much of the story but my sister and I were slightly horrified that our dad’s need to get a cookie trumped his need to stay put in a place he was unfamiliar with, facing instead the very real possibility that he wouldn’t be able find his way back to the camp in a land that was still in turmoil. For a cookie!

I sometimes forget about this shared background as it’s easy for me to think of myself as just Pakistani since that’s all I know – it’s part of my hyphenated identity of Pakistani-American and it’s the place we go to visit a lot of our relatives, if I can handle it that is- but I want to experience India now more than ever. I want to going to Uttar Pradesh and more specifically the district of Bulandsheher, trying to see if I can find any evidence of my family ever being there and what the deal is with my last name.**

For now, I’ll add books about maharajas, the British occupation of India***, and India’s history to my reading list. Best start learning about all of this history now, however late this realization has come, than never.

*If you think that’s funny, someone had actually made that exact statement on the first day of my Legacy of Asia class in college. This girl had asked a friend what countries the class would cover and the friend told her “China, Japan, and India” when she then exclaimed that India is not in Asia.

**If you ever come across a Pakistani/Indian with a last name Burney, they are most likely from Bulandsheher. Also? I might be related to them, although I’m not related to every Burney that is brown.

*** Watching 1942: A Love Story doesn’t count, I reckon.

One time ages ago I was at Barefoot Coffee Roasters in Santa Clara getting the kind of mocha that tends to make me weep from joy, when I picked up a bag of beans that sounded pretty good. It was called “Redcab” and hailed from Brazil. The description read: “Warm spice and subtle floral notes in the aroma. Layers of chocolate and cashew butter with a cherimoya custard-like creaminess. Deep, heavy body with nice sweet finish.”

At home, I made a cup with my French Press. And. it. was. AWESOME.

I’m not sure if you could deduce this from the above, but I loved me some Redcab.

And yet, I should’ve started something back then that I’m only just starting now – increase my coffee nerdistry and pay attention to where exactly my coffee is coming from. Honestly, I am a bit surprised I hadn’t acted on this before considering that I’m already careful of where I buy my beans from, mostly from local coffee roasters, but what if I have a taste for coffees that these cafes sell that come from specific countries?

Therefore, I’m officially taking note of what type of coffee is brewing at the cafes when I get a cup o’ joe. I’ll make a list, check it twice, and using an algorithm, I can chart the countries that produce coffee that my taste buds are more apt to go wild for. Or, I can just look down the list and figure it out without using any math. One of those.

This latest endeavor got a jump start with a personal coffee cupping with Jen, a Coffee Pastor Master (I heard wrong) at Starbucks. A friend of a friend, she was more than willing to do this cupping with me as she used to conduct cuppings quite often.

When I got to her Starbucks early yesterday morning, she had 3 large French Presses filled with coffee and a tray of snacks ready for the cupping. What I didn’t know was that the snacks on the tray were carefully chosen.

As we started, she said that certain foods go better with certain coffees. If you pair coffee with the appropriate type of food, you can really bring out the flavors of the coffee and enhance your overall drinking experience.

Folks? I didn’t know that, even though I have participated in cuppings before.

We went through light, medium, and dark roasted coffees and had almonds, chocolate caramels, and blueberries with them, respectfully. Each time, we first smelled the coffee, slurped it once, took a bit of the appropriate snack, and then took another sip. All three coffees had their own taste to them, which was amplified when eating the snack that was paired with it. Granted, my unrefined nose and tongue sometimes had issues picking out the distinctive notes (which I’m told takes time anyways) but the difference when sipping the coffee while taking in the right food was unmistakable.

She then brought out two more coffees that are part of their Reserve coffees. From Ethiopia, these coffees had a citrus taste that was hard to miss. Paired with a bit of the lemon loaf, the citrus in the coffees really came out and when poured over ice, the Ethiopia Sidamo blend turned into a refreshing lemony drink! Who knew?! I wasn’t expecting that at all.

So here it starts or, rather, continues. I’m going to keep on taking note of all the coffees I’m drinking and attend more cuppings if I can. Let the transformation from a coffee bumpkin begin…

Coffee Cupping

I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not too cultural. However, as “un-cultural” as I am, I really like Pakistani food. My mom is an excellent cook, Masha’Allah (Yes, this does warrant a “Masha’Allah”), so over the years, I’ve been learning how to make various dishes just the way my mom makes it. Sometimes, this works. Other times, while the dish turns out just fine, it would be missing a certain taste that only seems to emerge when my mom cooks it. I’ve resolved to get better though.

When I first started learning how to cook ages ago, I was able to have my mom do something that she never did in all her time cooking – I got her to commit to actual measurements of spices and other ingredients that would go into a dish so I could write it all down and remember it for the future. When I first started asking her about how much of certain ingredients go into specific dishes, her response of “andaaze se”, which means you go with whatever you think it should be, didn’t work for me. I needed everything in the proper teaspoons/tablespoons/cups form.

It was a huge achievement on my part and one that I heard many others of my generation had been unable to get their own moms to do.

But now I wonder if I’m doing it all wrong.

I recently watched the movie Today’s Special streaming through Netflix. Written and starring Aasif Mandvi and sort of based on his one man show Sakina’s Restaurant, the movie is about a former Manhattan sous-chef who has to keep his father’s Indian restaurant in Queens running after his dad suffers a heart attack. For the purpose of clarification, this is not, in fact, a movie version of the Canadian kids show Today’s Special that used to run on PBS when I was a little kid right after (or before?) Mr. Roger’s Neigborhood. That show was about a mannequin who came to life in a department store and included a supporting cast of puppets. I know what you all are thinking – “I would love to see a movie based on that version of Today’s Special!” Me too my friends, me too.

The cast of Today's Special

Back to the movie.

Mandvi’s character Samir gets Akbar, an NYC taxi driver who used to be a cook in Mumbai, to temporarily become the cook at his father’s restaurant. Played by Bollywood actor Naseeruddin Shah, Akbar’s methods are much different than anything Samir is used to. Samir’s cooking, although good, was categorized as a “paint by numbers” kind of approach. He’s all about doing everything by the book, including making sure everything is measured out for the appropriate proportions. Akbar is much different and cooks according to how he feels, never measuring anything out. To Akbar, the passion of the cook will be reflected in the cooking. You can’t be passionate if you rely too much on other things to tell you how much of what spice you need.

I’m thinking this was meant to be a metaphor for life but I went ahead and took it literally.

Have I made a mistake by learning how to use measurements in my cooking? My mom cooks as she always did so it’s not like I steered her down a path of cooking devoid of any emotion but I’m wondering if I have accidentally hindered by ability to cook well, to cook with passion, because I insisted on having the proper measurements for everything. Maybe this is why I have been unable to replicate the exact taste of my mother’s food in certain dishes. I tried to be like my mom, really. I would dip my fingers in the red pepper to pinch just the right amount of spice but it never worked.

But then I realized something.

Today’s Special is just a movie.

I shouldn’t take the movie to be a critique of how Pakistani/Indian food should be made. Yes, maybe my mom has the wonderful, magical touch when it comes to cooking (I’m not indulging in hyperbole here) but it doesn’t mean that eventually I can’t get there with my teaspoons and tablespoons. Honestly, I wouldn’t even have known where to begin if it weren’t for all the measurements. Maybe I never would have even started to learn how to cook in the first place due to the frustration of it all. My place in the kitchen would have been forever stuck in the role of dish/pot washer. At least now I have some sort of ability to cook and am making my way through the long list of Pakistani dishes I love to eat and want to learn how to make. Who knows? Eventually, I could be the one to tinker around with recipes the way my mom has over the years, to make them better, and go from precision to “andaaze se”.

In the interim, I’ll continue to use my methods. Gotta learn somehow!

I bought my first SLR a few years ago, a Canon XSi, an entry level SLR that was meant to replace the XT/XTi series. I remember when I first got it, I wanted to start using the manual settings from Day One, realizing soon that that wasn’t going to happen.

I told my photographer friend this, expecting a rolling the eyes or a hint of disappointment in her words when I told her that I was going to have to use the automatic settings for a while. Her response of “Well, what else would you be using?” caught me off guard but she had a point- I couldn’t automatically know how to do everything right away. With these things, you have to start from the beginning, y’know? I couldn’t expect to just get an SLR and become an Ultimate Wonder Photographer (UWP for short!) overnight and so I had no choice but to get over myself and understand that I would have to learn things.

A couple of years passed and after having worked my way through the various settings, I upgraded my camera to a snazzier one based on my friend’s* advice. I then became a hobbyist with a camera that actual photographers use.

And I gotta be honest, it makes me feel weird sometimes…

I bought my camera because I enjoy taking pictures. I’ve always been into taking pictures and this has allowed me to take it all to the next level. I take it to some weddings or parties or just around because I try to take advantage of some opportunities and practice. The problem is that when people comment on it, I feel like I have to justify why I even have an SLR. I always disclaim my camera saying that I don’t consider myself a real photographer, that I only play one on TV (It’s a joke! Laugh!). I end up downplaying it by writing off any skill I may have so I don’t come off as this arrogant person who thinks I’m awesome because of the nice camera in my hands.

But I realized I shouldn’t downplay things so much to the point that someone actually has to ask me if I know how to use it, which has happened. Why yes, I do know how to use the settings! I’m not a UWP yet (I still have a ways to go before I become a true Jedi Photographer) but I shouldn’t sell myself short, as is a trend with me in my life. From here on out, I’m not going to act like I don’t know how to use the thing, but I hopefully won’t be arrogant about it. For example, the other night I was talking about the features of the camera to someone at a party who had inquired and I think I was able to do that in a manner that didn’t reek of pompousness. I hope, anyways :)

So if I’m at a thing and I take out my camera, my lenses, and start to mount my flash on the camera body, it’s not so others could see me and think I’m awesome, but because this is simply a hobby and I like taking pictures.

Before I end this random post on a sometimes random topic, I have one more thing to say. You know what else weirds me out? When people with SLRs make others feel bad when the other folks are using automatic settings on their own cameras. It’s their camera! Let them use it how they want, it’s all good and there’s room for all of us with our fancy cameras.

The End

The first time I went on vacation with the camera upgrade - At the Sydney Opera House

*As a good friend who is also a good photographer, I pretty much do whatever my friend Monica tells me I should do when it comes to photography. Check out her site – MonicaRoy.com

For further reading, check out A Photoshoot of Kids OR: It’s a Good Thing I Don’t Drink

The book Love, InshAllah recently came out. It’s a collection of 25 narratives from American Muslim women about love, romance, and relationships. I had a chance to interview Ayesha Mattu, one of the co-editors, for Illume Magazine last week (which I’ll reprint at the end of this post) and wanted to write a bit more about the book and my initial reactions to it here…

Ok, folks, I’ll be truthful. The first time I heard that there was going to be a book about love from Muslim women, I believe there was an eye roll involved on my part. Love stories? By Muslims? I figured I’d pass because to be honest, I’ve never been much of a a “girly-girl” -I even try to stay away from random chick-flicks. I mean, I watched Chronicle this weekend instead of The Vow. And might I say? Chronicle was kinda awesome! Although I do have a soft spot for Sleepless in Seattle, While You Were Sleeping, um, uh, Pride and Prejudice, and … yeah. I’ll stop now.

Back to the book at hand…

The more I read about the book, the more interesting it became. So I ended up reading Love, InshAllah and in reality, it was less like a book just for romantic saps, a term I use with no offense intended, than it was about breaking stereotypes of American Muslim women by portraying them as actual, honest-to-God real people.

The book started off with a narrative from a girl talking about meeting a guy through rather ‘traditional’ means in the cultural sense. It was sweet. Then come other stories that veered away from this type of story. I said in the opening to the interview on Illume that I had to step out of my comfort zone with this book because I wasn’t quite prepared for a few of the stories. They were most definitely eye-opening and I think I learned a lot from the different perspectives that were represented. As a Muslim woman, I was able to take something away from this book. The audience isn’t just limited to people like me though – be sure to check out the interview below and read the response to the question of why anyone should read this book.

Funny enough, when I finished Love, InshAllah, it made me optimistic for my own situation (an entire lack of anything right now) even though not all the stories ended up all neat and tidy as some girls ended up luckier than others. If I have to pinpoint the reason as to why I felt that way it may be because in the narratives where everything seemed to work out, it really, honestly, truly felt like it happened because that was the way things were meant to be.

I was at an event a couple of weeks ago for Silicon Valley Reads when the moderator brought up Love, InshAllah and asked the two Muslim authors that were on the stage what they thought about the book and so there was a bit of a discussion of it. Later, as everyone was filing out of the auditorium at the end of the event, I stayed in my seat. As one lady passed me, she said “You probably have your own story too! Now I’m curious!” I didn’t get it at first but then realized she meant that I had probably had my own story like all the ones in Love, InshAllah.

Sorry random lady. Alas, I don’t have a story. All I have for now is probably one of the more personal blog posts I wrote right before I turned 30 last year. But InshAllah, one day, I hope to have my own happy ending.

Thanks for reading as always and check below for my interview with Ayesha Mattu, who co-edited the book with her friend Nura Maznavi.

Can you tell me a little about yourself and your co-editor Nura Maznavi? How did you two meet?

Nura & I met six years ago, through a mutual friend who had arranged a weekly halaqa. We were both living and working in San Francisco at the time and hit it off right away.

Why did you two set out to create this book? Why now?

We were chatting over coffee one day about how we didn’t see ourselves reflected in the media or pop culture. There were no nuanced depictions of the many intelligent, opinionated and funny Muslim women who are our friends. To take just one example, the mainstream and Muslim media tended to focus on arranged marriages and matchmakers when it came to Muslim marriage. While those were certainly true stories about how some Muslims were meeting their life partners, they were leaving out many of us who met our partners in other ways.

Though much has been written about Muslim women, little of it has been written by Muslim women ourselves. We decided this was a wonderful opportunity for us to tell our own stories. And what better stories to share than love stories, which have a universal appeal?

As for why now: It was time for us as Muslim women to see ourselves reflected in the culture around us. We also felt that the community was ready to have the conversations that the stories touch upon, including: sexuality, racism, homophobia, the stigma of divorce, and more. Muslim women have been waiting to have these conversations for a long time, and are so ready to engage with each other. We have complex, joyful, passionate and creative lives. We are ready to share that with the world and, in so doing, help to create a more inclusive, compassionate, and respectful dialogue within families and between communities.

Was there any topic at all that was deemed too “out there”/taboo for this anthology?

No. Our first commitment was to the literary quality of the stories, and then to trying to do justice to the racial/ethnic diversity of the American Muslim community, as well as the full spectrum of religious practice (from orthodox to cultural to secular).

Many of us spend our lives speaking to people who share the exact same views as us, and many books written by Muslims only speak to one segment of the community: either the orthodox, or cultural or secular members. We wanted to bring all of those voices together in one space to showcase the amazing plurality of the community. We wanted to help create a big tent that includes diverse and divergent voices, thus making it impossible for Muslims or non-Muslims to depict Muslims as a monolithic group.

Can you tell me about some of the stories that didn’t make the final book?

Was there any story you wished could have stayed in the finished product?
We received hundreds of submissions from across the country (as well as interest from other countries and from men wanting to share their stories too). Narrowing that down to 25 stories was difficult, and we understood that even with our commitment to diversity, there would be stories that could not be included due to space constraints. We offer these 25 stories as a snapshot, as a beginning, not as the only possible portrait of the vibrant lives of America’s six million Muslims.

Some stories that we wish we could have included are those dealing with mutaa, the rise and impact of emotional or physical extramarital affairs even in more orthodox Muslim communities, the challenges of remaining single into one’s 30s and 40s (or beyond), and women choosing to marry non-Muslim men. We want to be clear that this book is not “Islamic” literature nor is it a Muslim code of conduct or dating manual. It is a reflection of reality. These are all real examples of issues that the community needs to address together, but, often, when they are brought up there is a denial that they even exist.

On a personal level, I wish we had received submissions from disabled women and their search for love. They are so often forgotten within our faith community. In many Muslim communities any sign of a medical condition severely impacts the marriageability of that woman.

I’d also like to pose a question to our leaders, readers and faith community: Who else are we leaving out? ‘An ummah isn’t an ummah if it leaves some people out’ or behind.

Have you received any backlash from the Muslim community regarding Love, InshAllah? Overall, how have Muslims felt about this book?

There seems to be an expectation from Muslims and non-Muslims that there will be a backlash, but there hasn’t been.

We believe that most members of the community are mature enough to have the conversations that this book will evoke. Many women readers in particular have reached out to us to say, “Thank you for making me feel less alone, less isolated”; “Thank you for making me see that wanting to be loved is a normal human desire”. Many women look at this as a hopeful collection, one that shows they don’t have to leave their Muslim identity or community behind even if they go through periods of doubt or challenges. That faith is a lifelong journey, and that there is space for them.

Many women are using this book as a tool to start conversations they have never had been able to have before with their parents and grandparents. I know of many mother-daughter duos who are reading this book together and parents who are using it as a way to understand what their children might face growing up and how to maintain a meaningful engagement with them. That is one of my greatest wishes – to see this book as a way to bridge the generational gap, and to parent from a place of love and openness instead of fear.

As a parent and an aunt to young nieces and nephews, I want us as a community to be very cognizant of the fact that when we are providing a moral framework to our children to, for example, save sexual intimacy for marriage, that we are doing it in a way that does not create a revulsion, division or shame within them regarding the normal desires and emotions that they will experience in adolescence and beyond. Love is a normal desire and part of what makes us human. It is also part of both our Western and Islamic heritages, whether the story is about Elizabeth Bennet, Majnun, or any of the 25 women in this anthology.

What do you perceive the contribution of this book to be?

We wanted to challenge the stereotypes of the wider American audience by presenting stories that are rarely heard, in Muslim women’s own words. Within the faith community, we wanted to help create a space for Muslim women to share their lives honestly, across the full range of their experiences. We hope these stories start conversations within families and between communities about the similarities that bind us together, while recognizing and respecting the differences that enrich us.

With articles in the Huffington Post and New York Times and a high ranking of the book in the women’s studies category on Amazon.com, are you surprised by all the attention? What do you make of all of it?

Muslim women have been a source of fascination and intrigue for centuries. Our bodies and lives have long been politicized by our own faith community and by other communities. This anthology is a way to reveal our plurality and humanity in our own words. We’re not surprised by the interest from Muslims and non-Muslims. We believe that people of all backgrounds are tired of the politics of fear and are eager to connect with other in meaningful ways. These stories provide a way for us to connect with each other in a very intimate way. Who or what we love reveals a lot about us, and is at the core of what makes us human.

Do you intend to use Love, InshAllah as a platform for any other projects?

Later in the year we plan to open up our website (www.loveinshAllah.com) to readers from around the world to connect with each other and to share their own search for love. We also hope that Love InshAllah will be translated into different languages to reach a wider audience.

Eventually, we would love to see local editions of the book come out with Muslim women in different countries telling their own stories. We chose to focus on American Muslims because that is our context, but we know that race, ethnicity and cultural issues vary from country to country. It would be fascinating to see the similarities and differences between Muslim women from the UK to Egypt to Pakistan to Indonesia and beyond.

What would you tell people about why they should read Love, InshAllah?

First, because these are wonderful, provocative and moving stories in their own right. They will make you laugh and cry. Men & women will recognize parts of their own experiences in many of the stories. Whether you are a Muslim being brought up in a specific ethnic/racial community, or you are a non-Muslim who has never met a Muslim woman in real life, this book will give you a window onto many different lives and perspectives. In the end, readers will connect with the search for love, because we are all seeking to love and be loved for who we are.

Looking back at the process from creating Love, InshAllah, from asking for submissions to compiling the stories that made it in the book, what have you learned about Muslim women?

How very unique Muslim women are. Each of the over 200 submissions we received had a strong, unique perspective and voice. Each woman is an individual and, thus, painting 1.2 billion Muslims around the world with one brushstroke is impossible. We hope this leads to a more nuanced understanding of Muslim women inside & outside of the faith community.

A new cafe opened up in Oakland, mere minutes away from work. The cafe advertised the fact that they were using the beans of a local, popular coffee roaster. Not going to lie to you folks, I was excited about yet another coffee place opening up within walking distance to work.

So I went to check out this cafe and, well, yeah.

As the barista was making my mocha, I couldn’t help but watch to check his methods out*. He didn’t worry me as much as the espresso machine did. It sat on a table that shook every time the machine was even touched so you can imagine the kind of swaying this thing was making when someone was actively trying to coerce a shot of espresso out of it. And then I realized, the machine wasn’t even a La Marzocco! What were they thinking?

Wait a sec. When did I actually care about the brand of espresso machine a cafe had?

I mean, seriously! Let me take you back to a time…

My beginnings into the coffee world are actually quite humble. I always liked the taste and got an occasional mocha in college. I was quite happy with Starbucks and also looked forward to Wednesdays when the university cafe’s coffee of the day was vanilla cream coffee, which I got mixed in with their hot chocolate. I couldn’t do much more because of my lack of funds. I got coffee maybe once or twice a week and I wasn’t picky.

Little by little though, the coffee snob in me started to emerge, especially since I started my job in Oakland. Now, I have become a bit more annoying when it comes to all things coffee. Even though Starbucks is just across the street from work, I go out of my way to go to the cafes with premium coffee. There are four places that are on the coffee rotation:

-Farley’s Coffee
-Awaken Cafe – before, this was a small cafe and now it’s a coffee cart while their full-fledged cafe is slated to open later this month (I’m so excited!)
-Blue Bottle Coffee – If there’s enough time and the weather is nice enough for a walk.
-Modern Coffee

Fortunately, I have a coffee partner-in-crime at work who is as interested in coffee as I am and willing to make these coffee jaunts.

The new cafe mentioned at the beginning of this post didn’t make the Oakland cafe rotation. Maybe I’ll give it another try in a couple of months when they’ve had time to work out their issues. I’ve got my hands full anyways trying to learn the names of everyone at the cafes I already frequent**.

As for now, I still have a ways to go to reach maximum heights in coffee snobbery. I can’t tell you whether I prefer Guatemala beans over Colombian ones or which beans are the most floral. I can tell you though that I’ve definitely noticed a difference when it comes to getting a coffee at one of these places versus any other place that doesn’t take its coffee quite as seriously. So please feel free to get your coffee wherever you want, it’s all good, just don’t make fun of me when I go out of my way to get a nice cup o’ joe :)

*My friend said I stared at the guy and the machine with a “laser-like” intensity as he was making my drink. In the end, my mocha was only ok, my friend’s french pressed coffee elicited an “ew” from her and the latte we brought back to work for a coworker apparently tasted more like the cup than it did coffee. *sigh* and d’oh.

**Fun fact – Baristas get a bit weirded out when you greet them by their name.

Chuck is over. One of the TV shows that I watched regularly, that I looked forward to with each episode, finished its 5 year run last night. I get invested in the TV shows that I watch and felt the need to write about Chuck, much like I did when Battlestar Galactica ended. I would have written about Lost if it didn’t totally bum me out*…

So… Chuck…

Like BSG, I didn’t watch Chuck when it first came on. I happened to watch the first episodes of the first season online (legally, thankyouverymuch) and quickly ran through them. Season 2 was next and I watched that through a mix of iTunes and Hulu. When Season 3 started up, I was ready.

Simply put, I loved Chuck. The show was a mix of comedy and spy stuff and had a great cast that made it all work. While everyone was good, the show wouldn’t have been even remotely believable if not for Zachary Levi who plays Chuck, the nerdy guy who quickly got in way over his head as he became a government asset while still working in the Nerd Herd at the Buy More (much like the Geek Squad at the Best Buy).

Granted, not every episode was perfect. Season 3 got off to a rocky start but then definitely got better. And of course, like any series, there was an episode here or there that didn’t quite mesh the way it should have. In the end, unlike with Smallville when I couldn’t wait to have that show finish so I wouldn’t feel obligated to watch it anymore, I’m going to miss Chuck. I think the finale ended really well last night and although I’m still feeling slightly sad by a few things that had happened, ultimately I’m optimistic about what the ending of the show meant (why yes, those are vague statements but I don’t want to spoil the finale at all).

Here are a couple of moments that really exemplify the kind of show Chuck was (kinda sorta spoilers). You have to go to Youtube to watch the actual videos since the embed feature was disabled:

Season 2 – In order to get the codes for a missile, Chuck had to get all the way to the end of an arcade game, which was proving to be difficult until he realized that the pattern to the game was in line of Rush’s Tom Sawyer. Meanwhile Sarah, his handler/partner had to find the baddies:

Chuck Vs Tom Sawyer

Season 2 finale – Chuck has his friend stall his sister’s wedding while he tried to deal with the evil spy group Fulcrum. His friend stalled the wedding by letting two guys from the Buy More (Jeffster!) play Mr. Roboto in front of all the guests, all which havoc is being wreaked in the next room:

Chuck and Mr. Roboto

Goodbye Chuck, you will be missed!

Further reading – check out my post on Zachary Levi’s movie Shades of Ray, where he plays a half-white, half-Pakistani guy.

*SPOILERS ON LOST: The thing with Lost that seriously made me feel sad for a few days was the fact that Jack and the crew went back to the the island for nothing. Yes, Jack thought they had to go back but we all found out later that it was all just a trick so that one guy could return to the island in the form of Locke. More people died than they had to. Sawyer and Juliette could’ve played out the happy life they had for themselves in the past but that was all ruined by the appearance of the Oceanic 6, who all could have moved on had they just stayed in the present. To find out that it was all for nothing… that just got me.