Yeah! Go SPORTS!

Of course it's easy to focus on the mistakes, so let's take a second to appreciate that somewhere there's a professional baker who actually did this... on purpose.

("I call it, 'Barbie's Dream Petri Dish.'")

Could be worse, though. This one makes me want to launch a CSI investigation:

("Looks like Merle... [SUNGLASSES].... got smoked.")

And yes, I do realize "CSI investigation" is redundant.

SPEAKING of which...

Ow. My brain.

Because nothing delights a girl on her birthday quite like chopping off the head of a terrified Minnie Mouse:

"Don't worry, Minnie, this'll only hurt for seconds."

Just think: last week two of you loyal wrecky minions spotted this display, took a photo, and sent it in to me:

I love it when that happens! It's like Missed Connections, Cake Wrecks style!

So Sara? Brittany? YOUR DESTINY TOGETHER AWAITS.
(Dibs on the wedding cake photos.)

Oh, and I think that bamboo plant is trying to lick us.

A few weeks ago a couple of readers had a discussion on Twitter about Cake Wrecks, and since they kept tagging me in it, I was privy to their thoughts on how our posting misspelled cakes smacks of "intellectual snobbery," and really isn't that funny anyway.

I didn't reply at the time because the two weren't talking TO me, just ABOUT me. However, now, at long last, I believe I have an appropriate response.

Ahem hem hem.

This was supposed to say "Celebrate."

[drops mic]
[walks off stage]
[trips]
[scrambles up]
[steps on skirt]
[pantses self]
[slinks off, stage left]

YEAH.

Thanks to Mag D., Allison A., Mark F., Laura H., Sara E., Brittany A., & Barb F. for celetraling with us.

*****

P.S. I have a growing collection of fun pattern dresses, and this nerdy pineapple print is currently calling my name:

Scoop-Neck Sundress, Your Choice of 25 Patterns

Then I saw I can also choose taco cats, galaxy prints, or rainbow unicorns, so... I have some decisions to make. :D These dresses are made of a stretchy, almost bathing-suit-like material - which I know sounds weird, but it's AMAZING for summer. Stretchy and comfy, and the colors never fade like my cotton/knit dresses. Only downside is they have no pockets (booo), but for $25 I can forgive that hideous oversight - mostly because I wear these with cardigans that have their own pockets. ;)

::uncomfortable silence::

Soooo... I notice you don't have a plant with you.

::more silence::

That's alright, just head to your local bakery!

See, I'm sure this one needs to get out.

And this one could definitely use some fresh air.

Here Ron is attempting to shoo a cake plant outside:

Silly Ron. You have to WALK your flower cake.

Just look how sad this one is, waiting for someone to play catch with it:

Hey Ron, GO LONG.

Besides, think of all the social benefits of walking your plant cakes. The friends they'll make!

The mental health professionals you'll meet!

"What can I say? I'm a big cake fan. Bahahaha!"

"....ok Sheila but explain the leash."

So get on out there, minions, and walk a plant. Or a cake of a plant. We won't judge. Me and the ficus, we're pretty open-minded.

Thanks to Jamie D., Carri M., Ron B., Crystal B., Sara P., & Megan C. for being out standing their fields.

*****

P.S. Need a cool gift for the person who has everything? Then how about a card that transforms into a bouquet:

Fresh Cut Paper Pop-Up Flowers

I sent this one to my Mom for her birthday last month, and it looks just like this! Even better, it ships free with Prime, so no extra postage needed.

Or you could stock up with the three-pack!

There are more flower styles and colors at the link.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

(That's peanut butter cake, right?)
(EXCELLENT.)

Misspelled?
Check.
Sperm balloons?
Checkity check.
Unintentionally suggestive inscription?

CHECK, PLEASE.

They tell me this is supposed to be a unicorn:

Yeeeeeeah.

I love it when things get so weird that even the baker doesn't know what's going on:

There's a metaphor for life in here somewhere.

And finally, ever have something that's meant to be sweet & solemn strike you as funny?

If not, then prepare to judge me.

IN YOUR FACE.

Thanks to Jenn A., Michelle V., Cassandra F., Christina T., & Dulcie H. for the truly groovy unicorn. A thank you. A thankyouverymuch.

*****

P.S. Brace yourself for our cheesiest product review yet:

King Arthur Better Cheddar Cheese Powder

So John is a popcorn fanatic, and has spent a lifetime sampling every kind of cheese popcorn he can find. His all-time favorite is from a mall kiosk called Doc Popcorn, where they pop and mix it fresh, but he reports the next best thing is adding this cheese powder to a bag of microwave popcorn.

John's tried half a dozen top-rated cheese powders on Amazon, and reports King Arthur is the winner for the most tangy cheesiness - with Hoosier Hill Farm at a close second. (And Hoosier Hill has twice as much for the same price, so it's the better bargain.)

So hey, if you love fresh-popped, punch-you-in-the-face cheesey cheese popcorn, try this! And according to the reviews you can also use it to make cheese sauce (just add butter and milk), sprinkle it on veggies, soups, baked potatoes... I mean, it's cheese, y'all. What's not to love?

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Know what I mean?

Fortunately for us, there's now an ADORABLE way to do that:

[Baker unknown, anyone recognize it?]

D'awwww. I love how friendly the sun looks here - not at all like the eye-searing, makeup melting jerk we know he is in real life.

So while I'm huddled inside with the A/C cranked, let's look at some more sweet summery cakes, and pretend it's only a balmy 80 degrees outside.

(By Faboo Cakes in Tennessee, featured here)

Look, it's all my favorite kinds of fruit: the CAKE flavored ones!

Plus tropical fruits make everything feel more like a vacation. I mean, look at this pineapple print:

(By Cake Heart in Manitoba)

Don't you already feel more relaxed?

I just realized what that pattern reminds me of: remember when I went to Disney's Dapper Day a few years ago?

Pineapple suit!

Ok, back to cake.

For those who prefer ice cream on a hot summer day, how about this giant one?

(By Michael Almeida in Portugal)

I love the twist of using flowers in the cone! Plus I want to gnaw on one of those chocolate drips.

Nomz.

Speaking of flowers, these sweet pastels make the perfect summer wedding cake:

(By Lynette Brandl in London)

SO PRETTY.

And if that's the wedding cake, then you hope to get these at the reception:

(By Slywia Sobiegraj in Ireland)

Yes, I have a pineapple theme going today. Not even sorry.

Now let's throw in a pretty flamingo for good measure:

(By Cottontail Cake Studio in the Philippines)

Swooning! This almost makes me forgive the flamingo that tried to eat my face in the Bahamas.
Almost.

Now back to cute fruit:

(By Darcey Oliver, now Sugar Street Studios in the UK)

Everything's cuter with Kawaii faces on it. FACT.

And finally, a watercolor wonder that's truly... [sunglasses]... ONE IN A MELON:

(By Erica O'Brien in Connecticut)

Happy Sunday, everyone! Stay cool out there!

*****

P.S. I have a growing collection of fun pattern dresses, and this nerdy pineapple print is currently calling my name:

Scoop-Neck Sundress, Your Choice of 25 Patterns

Then I saw I can also choose taco cats, galaxy prints, or rainbow unicorns, so... I have some decisions to make. :D These dresses are made of a stretchy, almost bathing-suit-like material - which I know sounds weird, but it's AMAZING for summer. Stretchy and comfy, and the colors never fade like my cotton/knit dresses. Only downside is they have no pockets (booo), but for $30 I can forgive that hideous oversight - mostly because I wear these with cardigans that have their own pockets. ;)

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Ahh, so you want to pop open the hood and take a gander inside the wrecks, is that it, Jennifer?

Well, I'm glad you asked.

BEHOLD!!

And BEHOLD!!

KEEP BE-HOLDING!

Hey, Jennifer, you ever wonder how cupcake cakes (ptooie!) keep their icing from falling through all those big gaps?

NOW YOU KNOW.

We just saw last week how a gender reveal cake failed to actually reveal anything - other than plain yellow cake - but here's the opposite problem:

The cake was blue inside with pink icing.

Oy.

Now I'm going to show you my absolute favorite cake cake wreck of all time, Jennifer, and which I've been hanging onto for just this moment.

First, though, let me explain what (we think) happened:

A bakery was unable to sell a Halloween cake in time, but they didn't want to throw it away or reduce the price. So instead, they simply flipped the entire cake over, icing side down, and re-decorated the other side to make it into a generic birthday design.

CW reader Shannon had no idea of the skullduggery at work until she cut the cake, and found this:

That's a whoooole lotta icing, right there.

(And think how fresh!!)

And finally, I know I posted the video of this over on FB a week or two back, but here's a quick .gif reminder of the importance of proper wedding cake support:

OUCH.

(Watch the original video here to see them both continue to laugh hysterically, which is just adorable. Cutest couple ever!)

Welp, I hope that satisfies some of your blood lust for caketastrophe, Jennifer!

And hey, for the rest of you, the request line... IS OPEN.

Thanks to Cherie O., Leann S., Jaunna, Fribby, Sarah, & Shannon G. for reminding me of those times bakeries accidentally left scissors, a paring knife, and other various cutlery in their cakes - because that was a HOOT. (And also because "TRAUMATIC BIEBER" *still* makes me snort-laugh.)

*****

P.S. Hey. You know what ALSO needs proper support? Boobs. So here's a quick shout-out to my favorite wire-free bra:

Warner's Easy Does It Seamless Wireless Bra

I own four of these, and plan to keep buying all the colors. Up 'til last year I ONLY wore wired bras - usually Warners - and it took buying-and-returning over a dozen different brands and styles before I found a wireless one I liked. This one averages $25-30 Prime, but I watch the listing and buy any color that goes on sale for less than $20. (Today "Lilac" is $18, so I snagged one of those.)

I love the under-arm smoothing panel - no dig or pinch! - and like most Warners, these are incredibly comfortable. Be sure to check the image gallery for a better idea of how they look on larger tracts of land.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

(Ahh, good times.)

'Cuz now we have version 2.0!

Like most upgrade's, it fi'xed one prob'lem while creati'ng a whole n'ew one.

Two things on this next one:

1) Apparently there's a "Hawaiian Shirt Day"
2) I've never been so disappointed to see someone spell "shirt" right

(Right? RIGHT???)

Of course we've established - many, MANY times - that bakers can't seem to stop making chocolate icing look like poop.

However, I found the one exception!

It's when you ask a baker to actually TRY to make icing look like poop:

Like an ice cream swirl on a balloon string.

The mind, it boggles.

When this mom requested a Minnie Mouse cake for her daughter's birthday, I *think* the baker tried for a simple 3-circle Mickey logo, like this:

But instead, it came out like this:

In the baker's defense, if you squint a little this actually looks a LOT...

...like a consternated Kermit-the-Frog.

So, you know, SO CLOSE.

(Seriously, once you see it... it's all you see.)

So which is worse, guys: that bakers are already making globby Thanksgiving turkeys...

Or that there are only TWO CUPCAKES under that giblet-blasting load of icing?

(It doesn't have to make sense, ok? "Giblet-blasting" just sounds cool.)

Or, Bonus Option C: that enough people are buying these things to keep bakers making them. C'mon, people: TOUGH LOVE. Quit enabling the wreckerators!

And finally, to end on a high-pitched screaming note:

Let's hope the previous 49 Raymonds weren't so... [deep breaths, Jen, DEEP BREATHS] ...um, shiny?
[hurk!]

Thanks to Jamie C., Stacy F., Alyssa N., Anony M., Briana O., and Linda L. for forcing me to realize how eerily similar the globby turkey and shiny man chest are. WHERE'S THE "UNSEE" BUTTON ON THIS THING?

Or, they can look like this:

Proof that sometimes it's better to quit before letting your five-year-old write on the cake.

Still, it could be worse.

The monogram could match the rest of the cake:

Hey, it's not easy to make tinfoil look this good.

If you do find a mistake in your cake's monogram, don't panic. There are plenty of seamless ways for your baker to fix the error.

This isn't one of them.

Now, I'm all for sharing new words, broadening folks' horizons, furthering education, etc, but if you have to explain to the baker of your wedding cake what a monogram is - a "T, J, and H" put together, for example - then maybe, just maybe, a few alarm bells should go off.

Or I suppose you could just take your chances.

After all, what could go wrong?

Heh.

Aheh.

Heh.

At least the quotes add a little something "extra."

Thanks to today's wedding wreckporters Anony M., Hilary R., Cyndi P., & Cyndee M., who think all bakers should be required to ask, "Can I quote you on that?"

*****

P.S. Speaking of painful things, a friend recently got me this gel cap for my migraines, and sweet icy Stay Puft, y'all, it's amazing:

Migraine Hot/Cold Gel Cap
 

 I have a huge head and a lot of hair, so it's pretty snug on me, but the extra pressure with the cold is heavenly during a migraine. I used to hold a cold pack and keep shifting it around from side to side, but this wraps my entire skull in a cooling hug. Ahhhh so good.

I keep the gel cap sealed in the fridge all the time now, so I can grab it as soon as a headache starts up. The cold does only last 15-20 minutes, but it's 1000% worth it in my book, highly recommend.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

"A friend got a promotion a while back, so his team ordered a cake and asked the baker to draw a ladder with a stick figure climbing it, which said 'Moving On Up.'"

Instead, they got this:

"One Wreck El Grande for... Brick Bee? Is there a 'brick bee' here?"*

Part of me reeeeally wishes there were little lattes drawn on the side. Also, gotta love that "one two punch" of a color combo, am I right? SO APPETIZING.

*That joke was for you, Alice.

And please tell Phteven we said hello.

But wait, there's more!

The team was so inspired that they decided to make their own homage - and it. is. perfect.

[stick figure applauding]

Thanks to Brittany G. & Kate S. for the Java errors.

*****

P.S. It's time again for me to sing the praises of my amazing sleep headphones:

Bluetooth Sleep Headphones

I listen to boring audio books on these every night to keep my brain from spinning out of control, which works wonders for my insomnia. Lately I've been wearing them like a sleep mask -  like the model here - and WOW, that's helped even more than when I wore them like a headband! These things have been a life saver: comfy enough for side sleeping, not too loud like some of my old speakers, and they only cost $16 Prime.

Note that they do run on the big side, but that works out great if you have a big head like me. :D

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

(By Iced N' Frosted in Houston, Texas)

I mean, WOWIE.

This one's a little more traditional, but still has that sleek column look going:

(By Shannon Bond Cake Design in Kansas)

Look at those textures! Tissue thin ruffles, a watercolor fade, and pops of metallic gold? YES.

Of course not all columns have to be round:

(By Have Some Cake in West Midlands, UK)

This one reaches new heights (heh) with more incredible textures: love those stamped tiles.

I've never seen a cake shaped quite like this one - it almost looks like a hammered gold vase on top:

(By Nana Rose Cake in Dubai)

And oh, those colors!

Or maybe you'd prefer a cool and classic white-on-white?

(By De La Creme Creative Studio in St. Louis)

The hexagon pattern and shapes are so perfect, so clean - and that floral swag has me swooning.

Does it get any more classic than black and white stripes?

(By The Mischief Maker in Kentucky)

Nope. What else can be so whimsical and stylish at the same time? Plus the flowers really make it.

Here comes my only "short stack" today - which still proves you can have the column cake look even for a smaller wedding:

(By Sophia Fox in Portugal)

I'm such a sucker for hand-painted cakes, you guys, and that oversized, offset flower on top? SO GOOD.

Speaking of hand-painted pretties, LOOK:

(By Nasa Mala Zavrzlama in Serbia)

It doesn't get any more dramatic - or romantic - than this! Doesn't the bottom tier look like suede?

More drama ahead, get those sunglasses out:

(By Cakelava in Las Vegas)

...cuz it's so SHINY!

I'm digging the gold leaf leaves; so deliciously over the top with all those delicate pink flowers.

Aha, speaking of delicate and pink:

(By Kek Couture in Istanbul)

LOOK AT THIS BEAUTY.

I don't know where to begin, the draped "fabric," the gilded molding, or - ermergersh - the floating butterflies! Let's just say I caught myself humming "So This Is Love" from Cinderella.... to a cake.

I hope you guys enjoyed today's wedding lineup! Happy Sunday!

*****

P.S. Speaking of towers ::eyebrow waggle:: let me give a quick shout-out my favorite wire-free bra. I have three of these - just bought a fourth last week! - and they're all I've been wearing lately:

Warner's Easy Does It Seamless Wireless Bra

Up 'til last year I ONLY wore wired bras - usually Warners - and it took buying-and-returning over a dozen different brands and styles before I found a wireless one I liked. This one averages $25-30 Prime, but I watch the listing and buy any color that goes on sale for less than $20. "Lilac" is on sale for $18 right now, so I last snagged one of those.

I love the under-arm smoothing panel - no dig or pinch! - and like most Warners, these are incredibly comfortable. Be sure to check the image gallery for a better idea of how they look on larger tracts of land.

******

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Thanks to Rana Z., Stacy H., Brooke P., Cheyenne W., Shaelyn, Vanessa N., Heather H., & A.H., who can't believe that anyone would ever misspell professional. I mean, that's just crazy, right? [sheepish grin]

*****

P.S. A friend recently got me this gel cap for my migraines, and sweet icy Stay Puft, y'all, it's amazing:

Migraine Hot/Cold Gel Cap

I have a huge head and a lot of hair, so it's pretty snug on me, but the extra pressure with the cold is heavenly during a migraine. I used to hold a cold pack and keep shifting it around from side to side, but this wraps my entire skull in a cooling hug. Ahhhh so good.

I keep the gel cap sealed in the fridge all the time now, so I can grab it as soon as a headache starts up. The cold does only last 15-20 minutes, but it's 1000% worth it in my book, highly recommend.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

[tuning up 80s synthesizer]

♪ If there's something strange
in your neighborhood

::aggressive jazz hands::

Who you gonna call?
Ghostbusters!

♬If there's something weird

And it don't look good
(There's a hole in this cake.)

Who you gonna call?
Ghostbusters!

I ain't afraid of no ghost!

Pretty sure that's a penguin...

I ain't afraid of no ghost!

Okay, who brought the dog?

♬If you're seeing things
running through your head

Ouch.

Who you gonna call?

Ghostbusters!

♪ An invisible man
Sleeping in your bed

(He said he wanted to snuggle, but I saw right through him.)

Who you gonna call?
Ghostbusters!

Thanks to Mackie, Jeanne, Mandy D., Andrea E., Laureen, Sarah A., Kit, and Kirk K. who is apparently also not a fan of ducks:

I suspect fowl play.

*****

P.S. Have you seen this adorable Mini Stay Puft in a cappuccino cup? SO CUTE: 

Funko Mini Puft in Cappuccino

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Still, you know what's worse than being nicknamed "Pee Knees"?

When your baker rises to the occasion and bursts forth in gloriously misapplied phonics:

In her defense, it IS pretty hard.

To spell, I mean.

Pervs.

Hey Connie, were there also cake pops?

'Cuz I bet these would fit right in.

Signed,

Your Number One Fan:

...giving you the finger.

(Hang on, that was seriously for a one-year-old? WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!)

[Unintentional pun heyooooooo]

Thanks to Connie S., Darla S., & Jess H. for making my double entendres count.

*****

P.S. Something about these cakes reminds me of those shiny blue balls that keep your produce fresh. Have you seen these?

Blueapple Freshness Saver Balls

Just pop one in your crisper drawer and the other in your fruit bowl, and these will absorb the ethylene gas that quickens ripening, so all your fruits and veg stay fresh longer. Seems like witchcraft, I know, but go check the thousands of rave reviews: apparently they really work!

******

And from my other blog, Epbot:

D'oh! A deer, a wrecky deer:

Rays, what has your baker done?

Steve, a name, I call my Elf:

Fa, the way the frosting runs!

So, I think the bee is deeead.

La, I can't hear you, no nooo!

Eee! This dog fills me with dreeead!

That will bring us back to...

NO! No, no, no...

How do you solve a problem like a Cake Wreck? You send it to us! So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, and THANKS to Naomi Z., Robert B., Crystal, Rachel N., Mary J., Rob S., Claire B., and Sarah M.

*****

P.S. Because one good ear worm deserves another... with PUNS:

"Sweet Dreams Are Made Of Cheese" Shirt

BRIE-HOLD!

::wipes away tear:: It's just so beautiful.
Also it comes in more colors at the link, but I think purple is prettiest. :)

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Or as we like to call her, "Tripod."

(That was the most family-friendly joke I could come up with. HI, MOM.)

If you write online a lot, then this next one is for you.

The problem with ordering via e-mail:

Now, everyone laughing, go ahead and explain it to the rest of the class.

Sarah sent in her wedding cake as a "missed mark" wreck, but to be honest, I'm a lot more interested in her choice of table decor:

Please tell me you cut the cake with the Klingon bat'leth, Sarah. PLEASE.

Giving new meaning to the name "dump truck:"

What a load of... ooh, hey, icing!

"Uh, you guys, Jimmy's cake is a little... off... don't you think?"

"Well, we weren't going to say anything, but yeah."

"Think he knows?"

Oh, HE KNOWS.

Before you ask, this kid's name was Finn. FINN.

[wincing] Oooh, not good.
I'm guessing Trey snapped this pic right before the cake was hit by lightning.

And while we're talking botched names, look what the baker did to poor Tucker:

(Seriously. HOW IS THAT A 'T'?!)

Thanks to Betsy P., Cindy T., Sarah K., Jane P., Bobbie C., Trey P., & Carri C. for putting all our childhood nick names in perspective.

*****

P.S. Since this saved my butt during a long painting day recently, I have a random product recommendation:

No Buckle No-Show Stretch Belt

This is my new favorite belt, y'all. It basically turns anything with belt loops into an elastic waist. So comfy I forget it's on, slimline so it doesn't show under my t-shirts, and NO BELT BUCKLE to dig into my belly or unbuckle for bathroom breaks. Woohoo!

You know how stretch jeans are forever sliding down when you sit or bend, so you have to keep hitching them back up? No more! I wear this with all my jeans now. It's entirely elastic, so it moves and stretches with you, zero painful digging. I HIGHLY recommend for anyone well endowed with squish in the belly area.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

I'll start.

For my first day of 6th grade I wore a skirt made up of 3 ruffly layers. They were: fluorescent pink, fluorescent yellow, and a fluorescent green so bright I swear it provided its own light source.

And yet, somehow, this cake is EVEN PRETTIER:

(Alexa Alvino Cake, Brazil)

Look at these colors! EEEE! I'm in love.

You don't see many cakes with bright BRIGHT colors, so I'm all in on this current neon/fluorescent trend.

(Fun fact: I just fought with spellcheck for 35 seconds over how to spell "fluorescent.")

Tell me you don't want to turn a black light on this beauty:

(Cuteology, Arizona)

Or dive face first into this rainbow 'splosion!

(Hello Duffymoon, South Africa)

Ok, maybe not face first.
But srsly, BEST colors.

Omigosh, I found the neon green from my ruffle skirt!

(Sugar and Salt Cookies, Australia)

Look how gorgeous with the bright pinks!

I'mma just stare at this dreamily for a bit, k?

Mmmm.

Sugar and Salt has so many bright colors, here's one more of her creations:

(Sugar and Salt Cookies, Australia)

You know how some cakes you want to eat, and some you want to just stare at?

THIS ONE'S BOTH.

Same goes for this purple & teal loveliness:

(Jonathan Cable Cakes, South Carolina)

The chocolate drips make the whole color scheme sing. SO GOOD.

Backing off the intense neons for just a quick sec:

(Shunia Cake, Russia)

This is somewhere between pastel and fluorescent, like a snowstorm during the Aurora Borealis.
Needless to say, I approve.

The same year I wore that neon skirt, my middle school's official colors were hot pink and teal. HOT PINK AND TEAL, you guys. Now that is the "good ol' days."

(By The Scran Line)

My 6th grade teachers would be screaming for this. Those are sugar bubbles on top!

This next one is like if Laser Tag were a person and got a Hollywood Rom-Com makeover just in time for senior prom:

(Sugar Sugar Cake School, online classes)

You know, as a cake.

I'm saying I love it, keep up.

Back to 6th grade Jen confessions:

Along with that rockin' neon skirt, I also wore home-made, neon pink splattered shoes. Meaning my mom and I threw paint at a pair of knock-off Keds, because the ones I fell in love with at the local Flea Market were too expensive.

I loved those shoes, but they didn't even come CLOSE to how pretty this is:

(Historias Del Ciervo, online classes)

BUBBLES!

And finally, because neon rainbows and unicorns are a match made in Lisa Frank heaven:

(Dulceria Denora, Venezuela)

You're welcome.

Here's hoping your Sunday is colorful, fun, and extra sweet! Now, hit me up with your best/worst 90s fashion memory in the comments, so I can be jealous. :D

*****

P.S. I'm a grown adult and I still decorate my envelopes with Lisa Frank stickers, minions. Why not make boring mail a little more fun? Plus it makes me smile choosing which ones from my giant variety pack:

1200 Lisa Frank Sticker Pack

 You get 1200 Lisa Frank stickers in a variety of sizes for only $10 Prime! Worth it for the candy-colored nostalgia and sheer whimsy alone.
*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

So... pink and blingy. Gotcha.

Now, before I show you what she got, have you ever seen those stress toys with the eyes that pop out when you squeeze them?

You have?

Ok, cool.

Just curious.

You can scroll down now.

Deep breaths, Jen, deep breaths. It's NOT a living thing, and those bubble things are NOT growing and/or pulsating. They're NOT.

You know what, let's just keep scrolling.

QUICKLY.

Speaking of cakes that look unfortunately skin-like, Cassie P. ordered this adorable giraffe cake:

...but instead, she got this:

There's a sound for this cake, and it goes something like:

URP URP URPITY URP.

And finally, how about a wedding cake? Wedding cakes are always fun.

OK, so Jessica ordered this cheery sunflower number:

...and I'm happy to report that the baker was extremely thorough, and managed to get everything - with only one tiny exception - entirely and completely wrong.

I think your baker grabbed someone else's cake and jammed in those sunflower headlights last second, Jessica.

But on the plus side, if you back up and squint a little - or a lot - it's totally smiling at us.

Thanks to Anna D., Cassie P., & Jessica C. for all having rhyming last initials; that makes it more fun for me, see? TEEHEE.

The problem?

Her baker had never heard of the letter J:

And apparently thinks Birt and Hday are two separate words.

(Give it a minute.)

(Theeeere it is.)

Um....

Any guesses?
Anyone? Anyone?
Bueller?

Two of the most misspelled words I see on cakes are "congratulations" and "confirmation." So when someone is foolish enough to order a "Congratulations on your confirmation" cake, HILARITY WILL ENSUE:

Thank goodness the baker made up for it with all those great decorations.

Wrecky minion Tabatha was having a bad day, so she decided to swing by the discount rack at the bakery for a little pick-me-up. Then she asked the baker to write "Eye of the Tiger" on it, since we all know that's the best song for a bad day training montage. (I'm picturing slo-mo clips of rampant toe-stubbing, pink slip shredding, and bad haircut reaction shots.)

Anyway, as it turned out, Tabatha got an even bigger pick-me-up than she bargained for:

Greetings, from We of the Turkeys!

And finally, when it comes to baseball bats, this baker is ALL THUMB:

NAILED IT.

Thanks to Jamie, Ashley R., Sandi M., Tabitha G., & Amanda F. for knowing something was wrong with that last wreck, but not quite putting her finger on it.

*****

P.S. Friendly reminder:

Punctuation Saves Lives

:D

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Cake Wrecks Jen, she comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom:

"Let it bleed."

And when my flower's oozing darkness

Or icing balloons spring a leak:

Cake Wrecks Words of Wisdom:

Let it bleed.

Let it bleed

Let it lean!

Let it seep,

Then let us see!

Cake Wrecks wants to laugh, too

So let us see.

HEEEEE!

Thanks to Sarah, Brandy R., Michelle L., Diane B., Adria P., Lisa J., Valerie O., Lisa P., Kerinsa M., & Ann for helping us COME TOGETHER for a DAY IN THE LIFE of wreckage IN MY LIFE. You CAN'T BUY ME LOVE, but you can buy cake, which is sort of the same thing.

*****

P.S. In case this post wasn't painful enough:

Exceptionally Bad Dad Jokes

There are a lot of "dad joke" books out there, but this one has awesome ratings AND the word "spiffing" on the cover, so it's a clear winner.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

"No, I mean really big."

"Hmm, ever done anything bigger?"

"Wowza. On second thought, how are you with smaller stuff?

"Not bad, not bad - but it's still not working for me. Tell you what, let's skip the writing entirely and just do a mini birthday cake, you know, something small and cute."

***

***

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Thanks to Sandy C., Jessica S., Katie B., Katrina S., & Meghan B. for the Mickey Mouse operation.

*****

P.S. Since we're talking about a variety of sizes, let me give a quick shout-out my favorite wire-free bra. I have three of these - just bought a fourth today! - and they're all I've been wearing lately:

Warner's Easy Does It Seamless Wireless Bra

Up 'til last year I ONLY wore wired bras - usually Warners - and it took buying-and-returning over a dozen different brands and styles before I found a wireless one I liked. This one averages $25-30 Prime, but I watch the listing and buy any color that goes on sale for less than $20. Today "Lilac" is on sale for $18, so I just snagged one of those.

I love the under-arm smoothing panel - no dig or pinch! - and like most Warners, these are incredibly comfortable. Be sure to check the image gallery for a better idea of how they look on larger tracts of land.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Spider-Man's dirty little secret revealed:

Now that's a Dynamic Duo.

Here's one of the lesser-known heroes, Essenem Man:

He may not be much of a fighter, but he is always on the ball.

GRRAAA!! HULK TENSE!!

HULK TRY RELIEVE TENSION.

The good news: little Ryder had no idea why his mom was in such a hurry to cut the cake.

The bad news: everyone else at the party did.

Liz D., Kristen C., Mark F., & Rebecca J., I would tell you who my favorite superhero is, but I'm afraid it's a three-way tie.

Note: If you're wondering, the second cake is supposed to be Batman. Obviously.

*****

P.S. Something about Ryder's cake reminded me of those shiny blue balls that keep your produce fresh. Have you seen these?

Blueapple Freshness Saver Balls

Just pop one in your crisper drawer and the other in your fruit bowl, and these will absorb the ethylene gas that quickens ripening, so all your fruits and veg stay fresh longer. Seems like witchcraft, I know, but go check the thousands of rave reviews: apparently they really work! Each set lasts 3 months, and you get 2 apples for $18.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: