It was my son's "half birthday" and he wanted a cake. Because I'm a modern mother, obviously I said yes, but "just half a cake." So, I went to the bakery and explained the sitch.

"Think you could make me a half a cake?"

"Well, nooo, 'cause then we'd like, have to throw away the other half."

"Well, it'll be special order so you can just make one cake layer, right? And then cut it in half and stack it. Like a layer cake!"

"I don't know what you mean."

{{ repeats previous statements with hand motions }}

"Ok, like, I have no idea what you're wanting here."

"Look, just bake one round cake, cut it in half and stick the two sides together for a layer cake. Makes half a cake."

"I think that'll be really messy."

"Sure. Ok, just... Whatever. Do what you've gotta do."

And here is the result:

Thanks to Steph for literally making me screech with laughter. Oh, and for next time: there ARE bakeries who sell half cakes all the time. In fact, some will even write "Happy Birthday" on it first before chopping the thing in half:

See? Now that's service!

To make it easier, she even brought in a print-out of this picture. And, since she wanted her cake to say "Welcome Little Monkey" instead of "Happy Birthday," she was sure to cross that bit out. That way, there could be no confusion whatsoever, right?

Riiiight.

All in favor of banning the edible photo printer for all eternity, say "Oy VEY."

I think the "veys" have it, Shawna.

*****

P.S. Have you seen the shiny blue balls that keep your bananas fresh?

Also none of that was a euphemism.

See?

Blueapple Freshness Saver Balls

Just pop one of these in your crisper drawer and the other in your fruit bowl, and they'll absorb the ethylene gas that quickens ripening, so all your fruits and veg stay fresh longer. Seems like witchcraft, I know, but go check the thousands of rave reviews: they really work! Each set lasts 3 months, and you get 2 apples for $14.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

[pushing back glasses and consulting clipboard] Ladies and gentlemen, I'm proud to present...

The Majestic Bagel-Nosed Falcon of Uganda!

Or it might be a fish. Fish...falcon...you know. Whatevs.

[Shuffling papers] Next we have...

The Majestic Happy Chicken-Footed Spiny-Backed Slime Devil.
(Watch out; they spit.)

We're still working on the scientific name for this one:

So for now let's just call it the Majestic Coiled Crap Hound.
(I think that has a real ring to it, don't you?)

Here we have a particularly colorful specimen:

The Majestic Disco Newt! Let's pause a moment to admire his beautiful plumage.

Right. That's long enough.

And finally, we have...

The Majestic Three-Toed Four-Eyed Whiskered Zebra Toad.
(Yeah, you heard me. ZooBorns, eat your heart out.)

Thanks to Kelly D., Kit R., Caitlin B., Jordan J. and Donald L., who are all, er, majestic.

*****

P.S. I agree, you COULD do a better job yourself. So have you seen these new silicone "piping bulbs?"

8 Pc Bulb Decorating Kit

Y'all. Go read the reviews; these things are apparently total game-changers. Easy to fill, clean, no more leaking piping bags, AND they fit all the Wilton metal tips we already have! I don't do much cake decorating these days, but I do pipe caulking for crafts, so I'm excited to try these out.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Well, if not, here's what it's supposed to look like:

So kinda like old, cobweb-wrapped monkey bread. But in a yummy way.

Well, a certain anonymous person - who shall remain unnamed to protect her anonymity - found this gem at a wedding which she may or may not have anonymously attended:

I believe her exact words were, "it looks like some kind of primitive jungle cake being attacked by a swarm of lactating spider-wasps."

Mmmm, lactating spider-wasps...

Well, uh, Jane D. [wink wink], thanks for putting a new spin on these things.

Note: I think it's important to ask yourself a couple of questions before commenting here on Cake Wrecks:
Question: Did Jen and john really intend to give us the pronunciation of a word?
Answer: No.
Question: Are Jen and john complete and total idiots?
Answer: No.
Question: Do they...
Answer: No.
Question: Would they...
Answer: No.
Question: What about...
Answer: No.
That is all.

*****

P.S. Here's a (hilarious) reminder that English is hard, too:

P Is for Pterodactyl: The Worst Alphabet Book Ever

******

And from my other blog, Epbot:

...fall flat?

Or have you ever wished for pretty-as-a-picture polka dots...

...only to get gravity-defying cow patties?

How about something that should have been simply sublime...

...that turned terrifying?

Perhaps your "something blue"...

...has you seeing red?

Have you ever wanted creamy lace and bows...

...only to get "AAAAUUUGGHH!!"

Well, have you?

Yes?

Oh, good!

Then send me a picture, won't you?

This stuff cracks. me. up.

Thanks to brides Ashley B., Emily K., Lara A., Christie S., & Kathleen M. for sharing their private pain with us. So that we may laugh. And then feel kinda bad about it. But not enough to stop laughing.

*****

P.S. In case this post wasn't painful enough:

Exceptionally Bad Dad Jokes

There are a lot of "dad joke" books out there, but this one has awesome ratings AND the word "spiffing" on the cover, so it's a clear winner.

Oh, and good news, there's a Volume 2!

Exceptionally Bad Dad Jokes, Vol II

******

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Granted, I love some more than others:

(By Chatter Cakes)

NO LIE.

I about fell over when I found not only a cake of my favorite video game character of all time - I found an AMAZING cake of him:

(By Oakleaf Cakes)

[Kermit flail] SONGBIRD!!

Songbird here is a whopping three feet tall, and was made for Irrational Games. And I love him. You can check out the amazing build photos here.

Who else loves Avatar? And I don't mean the blue guys:

(Submitted by Lisa K. and made by Sweet Pudgy Panda)

I let the anime style scare me off of The Last Airbender for far too long, but it only took a single episode last year to get me hooked. And the sequel series, Legend of Korra? AMAZEBALLS.

Shout out to all the real anime geeks out there:

(By rub-a-duckie)

I can spot Naruto, but the rest of your cosplay always keeps me guessing. :D

Here's a fun mash-up of two shows John and I love:

(By Nerdache Cakes)

Ponies and Supernatural!

Would you look at that "salt" circle? And a bucket of blood has never been cuter. Seriously.

It's not all shows and video games, though. Being a geek also makes me want to learn more about programming and electronics:

(By CW fan Jane M.)

John and I have done some simple stuff, wiring up LEDs for various cosplays, but my dream is to build my own nixie tube clock from scratch.

Because I can never get too much steampunk. NEVAH!

(By Tasty Layers)

Here's one for the Brown Coats:

(Submitted by Chris R. and made by The Cake Creche)

Shiny.

And the Whovians:

(By Curiaussiety Cakes)

(And Minecrafters!)

And the... uh... Middle Earthers? Do Tolkien geeks have a nick name?

(Submitted by Emily H. and made by Cakerator)

Regardless, can you believe this Witch-king of Angmar is cake?!

And finally, can't forget superheroes and comic books - because what geek girl doesn't want to be Wonder Woman?

(By Cakes by Raewyn)

Though I might settle for this cake. So pretty.

Hope you're doing something geeky today, guys!

First, fellas, take note: This is NOT how you do it.

"So I was picking up some salami, right? And I see this cupcake thing. Anyway, long story short, I figure, hey, it's cheaper than a real one, and I could go for some nosh right now anyway..."

Once the engagement is set, some couples like to celebrate by getting something big, shiny, and misspelled:

While others like adopting fun new aliases...

Some couples like to keep the guests guessing:

"So did they get their degree, or are they getting married?"
(Answer: getting married. Yes, really.)

Or freaking out the family with something that looks like it should come with a ransom note:

Aaaeeeeiii!!

"Pay up, Bub, or your fiance loses her other hand."

Hey, Paula T., Anony, Veronica, Amanda G., & Anony 2, [pointing with two fingers] engage.

(I've always wanted to do that.)

****

BONUS FUN FACT: Not only is that final cake one of my favorite wrecks of all time, it also had a hand in (get it??) two readers getting engaged back in 2015!

Now that's romance.

*****

P.S. Is your life boring? Does your soul yearn for adventure? Are you waiting for the universe to send you a sign?  

Then here:

The Yodeling Pickle

Also the universe says "hi."

(Listen, if you can't think of anything to do with an 8-inch plastic yodeling pickle, then I can't help you.)

******

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Don't be discouraged!

Oh I realize

It's hard to read orders

In a shop full of people

Who drive you up a wall

And the bakers beside you

Can make you feel so small

But I see your TRUE COLORS

Writing through!

I see your TRUE COLORS

'Cuz that's how I write, too!

So DON'T BE AFRAID!

To let them flow

Your true colors

True colors are literal

Like a "stilleto"

[ALL TOGETHER NOW!]

And I'll see your TRUE COLORS

Causing "boo"s!

I see your TRUE COLORS

But don't let that stop you!

So don't be afraid!

To let them flow

Your true colors

True colors are "beautiful,"

Like this raaaainbow:

A big "thank you in puce" to Andrea P. Mark A., Caylin C., Darnie S., Lezlie S., Paula P., Andrea H., Christine F., & Lacey for today's colorful characters.

*****

John: "Hey, we had a few complaints about that baby shower cake, so let's steer clear of anything too off-color today, ok?"

Jen: "Noooo problem. I have the perfect ON color cake we can use."

John: "Yeah?"

Jen: "Yep. I call it, 'TASTE THE RAINBOW.'"

John: "NO. Definitely no."

Jen: "What, you don't like it?
"Then how about 'Rubber Baby Buggy Balls'?"

"See, you can already tell it's a boy!"

John: "Why does the stroller have... ?! Never mind. No."

Jen: "Tiger Beat?"

John: "You're killing me here.

"Can't you just post some wrecky flowers or something? Please?"

Jen: "Flowers? ON IT."

[five minutes later]

"Got one! This baker says her co-worker made a border of 'exotic flowers.' You like?

"I think I'll call it, 'Ring Around the Posy Peens.'"

John: [silent glare]

"The Pollenators?"

[...]

"Petal Pushers?"

[...]

"Sticky Stamens?"

[...]

"Calla Willies?"

[...]

"One-Eyed Snapdragons?"

[...]

"Penis Flytraps?"

John: "You're answering tomorrow's e-mail."

Thanks to Jody M., Amber G., Ashley, & Anony M. for helping us find the rainbow... erection.

*****

P.S. Need a cool gift that doesn't involve X-rated flowers? Then how about a card that transforms into a bouquet of perfectly safe-for-work flowers:

Fresh Cut Paper Pop-Up Flowers

Although if you want to call that center one a Calla Willy, I won't stop you.

And you can stock up with the three-pack!

There are more flower styles and colors at the link.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Which isn't bad, I guess, if you've got a Brave Heart kind of vibe going for your wedding. Certainly it's executed well.

Anyway, here is what the paid, "professional" baker provided:

Erm.

[glancing between the two photos]

It’s like seeing double, isn’t it?

I mean, sure, the second one is collapsed in on itself, slumped over to one side, and channeling a bit more Bob Marley than William Wallace, but besides all that I’d say the decorator was bang on, wouldn’t you? Ok, ok, if you wanted to get picky about it, I guess that crack in the bottom – the one you can see the cake through? – that probably should have been iced over. Oh, and the red stripe might look a little nicer if it were one continuous line – or for that matter, if the line were straight. (Perhaps a little too much Red Stripe was consumed before icing the red stripe, eh? Eh? Come on, that was freakin’ hilarious, people: Bob Marley? Jamaican beer? Booya!)

Come to think of it, maybe that mass of squiggles in the mid section isn’t the best example of plaid I’ve ever seen, either. [tilting head to one side] Huh. Yeah. Ok, Summer, you got me: I can sort of see why the bride sued.

*****

P.S. I agree, you COULD do a better job yourself. So have you seen these new silicone "piping bulbs?"

8 Pc Bulb Decorating Kit

Y'all. Go read the reviews; these things are apparently total game-changers. Easy to fill, clean, no more leaking piping bags, AND they fit all the Wilton metal tips we already have! I don't do much cake decorating these days, but I do pipe caulking for crafts, so I'm excited to try these out.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Today we take the time to appreciate our adorable furry companions:

O.o

And also the terrifying ones.

Where was I?

Oh yeah.

Whether they be "dogs"

"cats"

"honey badgers"

...or whatever this is:

I think we can all agree that iupiu38ru3p9jfn3cjjsa'''''''aa'sdij'fln

/ᐠ｡ꞈ｡ᐟ\

Thanks to Martina V., Chelsea M., Keesha V., Elizabeth S. and Katie C. for the excuse to make Suki’s stick figure debut.

*****

P.S. Clearly I'm more of a cat person, but look what I found for my parents' dogs:

Travel Water Bottle For Dogs

It's a water bottle... for dogs! There's a bowl on the end, and any unused water drains back into the bottle with a locking, leak-proof lid. My folks are full-time RVers who love to hike, so this is perfect for their two pups. The bottle comes in two sizes and two colors. Be sure to check the customer photos for all the cute doggy photos and over 25 THOUSAND rave reviews.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Isn't that a deep thought? I didn't think of it myself. I found it on Pinterest, which basically does my thinking for me these days.  But I do think you'll find today's vintage style Sweets to be nothing but noticeable AND memorable.

For instance, I don't think I will ever forget this cake, as I've been staring at it for a solid 20 minutes. 

By Melania's Exquisite Cakes

Its beauty has been burned into my brain!

This next one is completely fondant-free, and so exquisitely detailed it's actually causing me physical pain. Ugh.

Submitted by Denette L. & made by & Eat It, Too!

Have you ever felt that? A little sting from viewing something of absolute beauty? Like this gorgeous cake, or an amazing sunrise, or Zac Efron?  

Perhaps I've said too much.

I've never looked at a cake before and wished it was a ride at Disneyland, but here you have it:

By Amber's Cake Creations

 Hmm, but maybe an entire theme park dedicated to cake would be even better. Caketopia! I might be onto something here...

Now, prepare your eyeballs for the intense awesomeness they are about to behold:

Sub'd by Annette P. & made by J'Adore Cakes Co.

Each of these cakes is entirely breathtaking on its own, but THREE?  A pearly pink trifecta of  peacock plumaged perfection? Swoon. No. I take that back. They deserve two syllables: Swoo-hoon. 

I don't think anything fits the term 'vintage elegance' better than a corset.

By Frosted Love Celebration Cakes

And this incredible cake really embodies the phrase, huh? Get it?  *elbow nudge*

Ohh, I love the diamond tufting on this cake. And the colors are so retro and perfect. With the glints of gold and pearls, it's like a little jewelry box full of treasures!

Submitted by Crystal Q. and made by Andrea's SweetCakes

However, I wouldn't be disappointed to find it full of cake inside, either.

Someone should tell this cake that it's not polite to upstage the bride.

By Ron Ben-Israel

 Look at that lace! Simply gorgeous.

 Modern vintage: an oxymoron?

By Art and Appetite

Ha ha hardly.

(Well, I guess it is an oxymoron, but that word just sounds like an insult!)  This cake deserves nothing but flattery with its cool juxtaposition of stripes and ruffles.

And now: more ruffles!

By Amanda Oakleaf Cakes

 This confection looks totally cute and innocent, until you notice that one layer looks like a garter, and the  ruffly tier looks like a petticoat!  Gasp! I clutch my pearls in shock!  Such scandalousness.

And I'm not sure exactly how, but this cake is giving off a bit of a 'boudoir' vibe as well.  Maybe its the sassy stack of ruffles, or the 'stitching' along the stripes, or the fondant jewelry draped just-so.

Sub'd by Debbie C., made by The Caketress photo by Jennifer Klementti Photography

"Voulez-vous stare at this cake avec moi?"

PS: EDIBLE JEWELRY? Is this really real?  I approve.

Sweet sassafras! This final Sweet is amazing. It's like a '40s prom dress or something. In fact, it's the very definition of vintage elegance. I even made up a word in its honor:

By Sweet Pea Cakes

Flappergasting!  

(That uh, sounded more complimentary in my head.)

Happy Sunday, everyone!

*****

P.S. Anyone want to bring vintage style pins back? Because this entire set of 7 lovelies is only $12.

7 Pc Women's Brooch Set

OooOOOooh. I think the owl is my favorite. And the peacock.

And the dragonfly.

******

And from my other blog, Epbot:

I mean, first, NO FROSTING, and second, this is literally the best they can possibly look:

Which on the one hand is fine, but on the other, looks like the baker ran out of time, panicked, then pulled an Emperor With No Clothes. "No really, this is the hot new icing trend in wedding cakes! Can't you see it?"

 So if that's the best possible outcome, imagine what chance Stephanie had when she ordered one for her wedding cake.

Or better yet, don't imagine.

LET ME SHOW YOU:

Whomp whump.

Next we have this sparkly purple number Alicia ordered for her wedding:

Bakers, here's a tip: Swarovski crystals are not - I repeat, NOT - interchangeable with those molar-cracking BBs people keep insisting are edible:

Also this looks terrible.

And finally, let's take a look at Roberta's wedding wreck, which was supposed to be this pretty tree bark design:

...but instead, just barked.

Woof.

Thanks to brides Stephanie D., Alicia J., & Roberta H. for branching out today.

*****

P.S. I agree, you COULD do a better job yourself. So have you seen these new silicone "piping bulbs?"

8 Pc Bulb Decorating Kit

Y'all. Go read the reviews; these things are apparently total game-changers. Easy to fill, clean, no more leaking piping bags, AND they fit all the Wilton metal tips we already have! I don't do much cake decorating these days, but I do pipe caulking for crafts, so I'm excited to try these out.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

...that's shaped like a spleen?

Either way, it's a red-letter day for organ-loving birthday celebrants everywhere.

****

When Mom's trying to tell you something:

****

And when your gender reveal cake reveals more about your baker's reading comprehension:

PLOT TWIST: They're not pregnant, they're just really sneezey.

****

Grad season is upon us! Get ready to increase your vocabulary!

****

And finally, my Clearance Rack Find of the Week:

So say we all.

Thanks to Amy P., Violaine P., Judy H., Lori H., & Candy S. for the chicken scratch.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Tink wrecks every day!

Oh what puns there are to write

When a fairy looks this way:

Oy vay!

Tinkerbells, hope this sells,

Clap your hands and pray

Baking skill and caring will

Be back again some day!

Thanks to Becky H., Michael C., Michelle S., and Kelly B. for the jingle.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Kinda makes you wonder how she got it.

Or if it has anything to do with that plastic thing in a bag taped to the top of the box.

[head tilt]

Naaaah.

Hey, Mary "Toy In Middle" R., maybe you should try an acronym:

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Or, if your work computer won't let you view video, keep scrolling for the written version.

Every cake is so wonderful,
And suddenly...

it's hard to breathe.

Now and then, I get insecure
From all the pain...

(Ow.)

I'm so ashamed.

I am beautiful,

No matter what they say.

Words can't bring me down.

I am beautiful in every single way.
Yes, words can't bring me down, oh no.

So don't you bring me down today.

To all your friends, you're delirious.
Ice cream cones... to make their horns...

Tryin' hard to make some sense of it. Wait, are those bugles?
Is it a cow-duck with horns and a goatee?

Cause you are beautiful, no matter what they say.
Words can't bring you down.

You are beautiful in every single way.
Words can't bring you down. NoOooOoooOOOooo....
So don't you bring me down today.

No matter what we poo.

No matter what we bake.

And everywhere we go,
The suananaaaIIOOOAAAAa NNOOOO NOO NOOooooOO ooooooooo

We are beautiful, no matter what they pay.
Camo flower town.

NoooooooOoo.

We are beautiful in every single way.
Words can't bring us down. No no no no no mmmm MMMM mm....

So don't you bring me down today.

OooooOOOOUgggnhh... MMmmmnOOOooAAH!
Don't you bring me downtooaaaaayyyyyyyyaAAAAAHHHHH

AAAOooooOOhh...

So don't you bring me down..... ughhnnnn....

Today.

Zakes C., Maja, Liz D., Lesley M., DaAn D., Caroline M., Haley H., Geri B., Rachel S., Bob B., Sue S., & Amy B., awoooawoooeeeeoaaaahhhhow. No matter what they say.

Note from john: If you're wondering who's singing in the video, it's our friend Jennifer Dorsman. And yes, she really is that good. Makes you sick, doesn't it?

*****

P.S. Speaking of beauty, I've been slathering snail slime cream on my face for about two weeks now, and so far the best part is telling people about it. :D

Advanced Snail All-In-One Cream

I caved when my friend Lisa kept raving about this brand, plus it has over 7,000 5-star ratings on Amazon. They don't hurt the snails to make it, and the cream isn't TOO slimey, so for $20 it's a fun, kooky thing to try. Plus, c'mon, then you get to tell people you use snail cream... ON YOUR FACE. Best party intro evah.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

When I first saw this cake my jaw literally dropped. And that's coming from someone whose JOB is to look at the world's most beautiful cakes.

I thought I'd seen it all.

I WAS WRONG.

Check out this marbling:

And this funky-cool fluting:

Incredibly, Noskova's cakes even look as beautiful inside as they do out:

So how does she do it?

Here's a short video from Noskova's brand new Youtube channel to illustrate:

The "mirror glaze" is a poured on gelatin mixture, and is apparently an old French technique that just isn't used very often. (Although I bet it's about to get a LOT more popular. Ha!)

And while everyone is focusing on that incredible shine, it turns out Nokova has perfected another incredible cake texture:

A velvety matte speckle, which she achieves with a powered sprayer.

Both of her signature textures together:

This is cake art in every sense of the word, but as John pointed out to me, it's cake art that you still want to eat. Somehow Noskova has managed to make her cakes look as delicious as they are beautiful - and we all know that's no small task in the modern cake world.

Head over to Olga's Instagram for sooo much more (it wasn't easy to narrow down my favs!), and then watch her new Youtube channel for hopefully more instructional vids to come.

Happy Sunday, everyone!

*****

P.S. Need a cool gift for the person who has everything? Then how about a card that transforms into a bouquet:

Fresh Cut Paper Pop-Up Flowers

I sent this one to my Mom for her birthday last month, and it looks just like this! Even better, it ships free with Prime, so no extra postage needed.

Or you could stock up with the three-pack!

There are more flower styles and colors at the link.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Confessions of a Master Baker!

"Ordinary bakers. Extraordinary feats of bad judgment."

[baker's silhouette speaking in disguised voice]
"I guess I got a bit carried away with the chocolate drizzle -- you know, it's always a bit of a crap shoot..."

"I made my mother-in-law deliver it."

[whispered]

Confessions...

"...and then I found myself smashing a disco ball on top of it."

[small sob] "I figured the lights would blind anyone who got too close!"

[whispered]

Revelations...

"They loved skiing. Nothing says 'skiing' like giant plastic pickles and shredded Parmesan, right?" [hiccups]

"I didn't realize how bad it was 'til the bride threw it at me."

[whispered]

Disclosures...

"They said they wanted 'steampunk,' so I googled it. Gears, tentacles, balloons - I was all, 'Hey, I got this.'"

"And, boy, did I get it."

[sound of pages flipping]
Uh... ah!
[whispering]

Formal professions of guilt...

"So then I said, 'hey, you know what'd be cute? Camouflage butterflies."

"But the bride just didn't see it."

Next week... on Confessions of a Master Baker:

"So I figured, put the babies ON the carrots..."

[light behind figures fades to black]

Thanks to Jessica W., Michelle B., Melanie J., Stella P., & Natalie S. for the delicious divulgences.

*****

P.S. Quick Butterfly Chaser to remind you they CAN be super lovely:

I made this rainbow wreath for John's room using this 84-pc butterfly set, which I know you crafters are gonna love:

(3D Butterfly Wall Magnet Set)

They're double-sided and come with both magnets and stickers. Definitely browse the projects in the reviews, there are so many cool ideas - and the set is on sale right now for $9.99!

That's today's cakes.

They're all a bit sad...

A bit lumpy-bumpy...

A bit, "Oh. OH. Um, how... nice?"

When your wedding's "cupcake tower" looks like something you made during the slumber party for your 14th birthday:

Or when there's more wire in your wedding cake than the average 14-year-old's braces:

o.0

You know how in movies when the bad guy lets loose with a machine gun on a wall somewhere, leaving lines of bullet holes that the light shines through?

Imagine the gun shoots roses:

BAM.

(Yes, I know otherwise it's fine. JUST LET ME HAVE THIS.)

And finally, whatever you do, don't think about stretched skin.

Or parsley.

STOP IT.

Thanks to Carrie B., Deanna H., Jimena, Dawn D., Shannon, Britton E., Helen, & Pat J. for lifting our saggy, saggy spirits.

*****

P.S. Speaking of ways to prevent sagging (oh yeah, nailed that segue), this saved my butt during a long painting day recently, so I have a random product recommendation:

No Buckle No-Show Stretch Belt

This is my new favorite belt, y'all. It basically turns anything with belt loops into an elastic waist. So comfy I forget it's on, slimline so it doesn't show under my t-shirts, and NO BELT BUCKLE to dig into my belly or unbuckle for bathroom breaks. Woohoo!

You know how stretch jeans are forever sliding down when you sit or bend, so you have to keep hitching them back up? No more! I wear this with all my jeans now. It's entirely elastic, so it moves and stretches with you, zero painful digging. I HIGHLY recommend for anyone well endowed with squish in the belly area.

******

And from my other blog, Epbot: