France, Germany, Spain and even the US all followed in the footsteps of visionary genius UK Prime Minister Gordon Brown (pictured above) yesterday and launched huge bank rescue plans. The move came after the British government took majority stakes in the Royal Bank of Scotland and HBOS, and lent money to Lloyds TSB. In Germany, Chancellor Angela Merkel’s government pledged more than £300 billion in loan guarantees and set aside £15 billion euros to cover potential losses. French President Nicolas Sarkozy said the state will guarantee £250 billion of bank loans and set up a fund that could spend up to £31 billion to recapitalize banks. Spain approved measures to guarantee up to £78 billion of bank debt. And in the US, Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson said Washington was developing plans to buy equity in financial institutions, following Brown’s lead, to halt the prolonged market turmoil. And the stock markets seem to be responding - calm is returning - Gordon has saved the world. And then I remember Gormless Gord’s almost unbroken track record of false dawns follwed by dismal failure and maybe I’ll just wait a little while before celebrating too much.

But Gordon Brown isn’t getting everything his own way. He looks set to scrap plans to extend pre-charge detention of terror suspects to 42 days following a heavy defeat in the House of Lords last night. In a vote carried by 309 to 118, the House of Lords resoundingly defeated the government’s Counter-Terrorism Bill, which would have raised the time terrorism suspects (supporters above) can be held without charge to 42 days from 28 days. The extension had been carried in the Commons by a majority of just nine votes - despite a rebellion by 36 Labour MPs - with the help of Democratic Unionist and Ulster Unionist MPs. During the debate, Lord Dear told peers: ‘This attempt to appear tough on terrorism, I believe, is a shabby charade which is unworthy of a democratic process and we should reject it.’ He’s probably right - but upholding democratic freedoms is always made more difficult by the impression which prevails in the UK, rightly or wrongly, that the law currently seems to favour terrorists rather than law-abiding citizens.

US Republican Vice-Presidential hopeful Sarah Palin’s future son-in-law has admitted he likes Barack Obama. But Levi Johnston (above centre), who made headlines by getting Palin’s 17-year-old daughter  Bristol pregnant, said he will still vote for  ”hockey mom” Palin. Levi said : “I don’t know anything about Obama, but he seems like a good guy. I like him.”  But then he added: “I just hope Sarah Palin wins. She’s my future mother-in-law. She’d better win.” With incisive commentary like that maybe the Republicans will see him as a candidate for 2012. And Johnston, speaking for the first time since he caused a sensation in the US election, denied that he was being forced to take part in a “shotgun wedding” . Yeah sure, Levi. 

More medieval religious nonsense. India has got its first female saint – a Roman Catholic nun who was so determined as a young girl to enter a convent that she stepped into a fire to disfigure her feet and stop her aunt pressuring her to marry. Former Hitler Youth Pope Benedict XVI used the canonisation of Sister Alphonsa (above) to call for an end to the religious violence in India in which Hindu mobs have killed dozens of Christians and forced thousands from their homes. “As the Christian faithful of India give thanks to God for their first native daughter to be presented for public veneration, I wish to assure them of my prayers during this difficult time,” the Pope told the crowds gathered in St Peter’s Square, ignoring the fact that she should have been recommended for a lunatic asylum at the time rather than veneration.  ”I urge the perpetrators of violence to renounce these acts and join with their brothers and sisters to work together in building a civilisation of love.” So let’s get this clear - a retired German anti-aircraft gunner praises an indoctrinated child who practised self-mutilation to prove her piety - how does that discourage violence? And isn’t that what certain Imans do for young Muslim suicide bombers ?

And more mischief by the Roman Catholic church, this time in Scotland.  Moves to have the body of Mary, Queen of Scots (above) returned to Scotland will be initiated by a Scottish Nationalist Member of the Scottish Parliament (MSP) this week. South of Scotland MSP Christine Grahame is to table a motion in the Scottish Parliament calling for the Roman Catholic monarch’s remains to be returned from Westminster Abbey, where she is interred, to Falkland Palace, in Fife. “She was an iconic historical Scottish figure and ultimately the victim of English plotting,” Ms Grahame said. Mary fled to England after being forced to abdicate in 1567. She was held prisoner by her cousin, Elizabeth I, found guilty of treason and executed 20 years later. A spokesman for the Roman Catholic church said: “Mary, Queen of Scots is held in very great esteem by Scottish Roman Catholics who admire her religious devotion and fidelity to the church (note that this statement makes no mention of any devotion to Scotland, only to religious devotion and fidelity to the church). As such, there would be significant interest in any plan to repatriate her remains.”  What a load of bollocks . Scotland is predominantly a non-Roman Catholic country and this is a tawdry attempt by the Roman Catholic church to align legitimate Nationalism with alien Roman Catholicism. This issue has nothing to do with “victims of English plotting” and everything to do with a bigotted attempt at the furtherance of insidious Vatican influence in Scottish political life. But Home rule should NOT equal Rome rule.

The man branded ‘Dr Death’ over his controversial voluntary euthanasia campaign has launched an internet version of a suicide book which has been banned in both Australia and New Zealand. The book ‘Peaceful Pill e-Handbook’ by controversial euthanasia advocate Dr Philip Nitschke (pictured above) details how to die peacefully. Dr Nitschke described the book as a compilation of the ‘most reliable and peaceful methods’ used to end life. ‘We’ve gone through the ones that are used and we’ve looked at the best,’ he said. End-of-life options detailed in video and text formats include use of the drug Nembutal obtained from Mexico, and the hypoxic method using a plastic bag. The e-Handbook’s content was released in print 18 months ago in the US, but was given an RC classification in Australia, prohibiting its import. The launch in London to publish the information online gets around Australian legislation. And if you’ve managed to find the website, goodbye. 

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The UK Government has seized more than enough Icelandic assets to pay back British savers caught up in that country’s banking collapse, it was revealed yesterday. Over £4 billion is understood to have been frozen using anti-terror laws last week, compared to the estimated £3 billion that UK councils, charities and individuals stand to lose as a result of banking failures in Iceland. In a rare display of common sense, Treasury Chief Secretary Yvette Cooper insisted the assets would not be released until a deal had been struck with Iceland’s authorities to return British money. I’ve got an even better idea - why bother wasting time ? Why not just immediately pay out to all British people and organisations owed money - and send whatever’s left back to Iceland ? That way these arctic thieves will have been taught a lesson they richly deserve. And sweet revenge - some of us have never forgotten the Cod Wars !

Talking of robbery, in the UK the new Business Secretary Peter Mandelson (pictured above) will pick up a £1million  ”golden goodbye” package following his departure from the EU in Brussels, despite walking out after serving only four years as Britain’s European Commissioner. He will also receive a £104,000 salary as a minister in the House of Lords, and qualifies for a total of £234,000 in “transitional payments” over the next three years to help him “readjust” to life outside the European Commission. But he is also guaranteed an EU pension when he reaches 65 – in 2018 – starting at £31,000 a year and rising in line with the cost of living. The overall cost of funding such a pension is put at £750,000. While most Britons prepare to tighten their belts as the credit crunch continues to bite, the new Cabinet minister – who will become Lord Mandelson of Foy and Hartlepool next week – can look forward to an additional annual payment of £78,000 for the next three years. All in all, a bloody scandal. No wonder he’s laughing. Oh and by the way, can anyone remember ELECTING him to his new job ? Same goes for Gordon Brown, for that matter.

And while we’re looking at sleaze, Former UK Prime Minister Tony Blair (pictured above) could face a humiliating recall to Parliament to explain devastating secret documents suggesting he did not tell the truth over New Labour’s first scandal in 1997. Opposition MPs want the former PM to undergo a grilling over evidence showing he personally ordered Formula One be exempted from a sporting tobacco advertising ban just hours after meeting a billionaire boss of motorsport who also happened to be a major contributor to Blair’s New Labour party. The Government has always maintained that the meeting with Formula One boss Bernie Ecclestone - who had donated £1 million to New Labour - had nothing do to with the decision. The most surprising thing about the business is that anyone should be surprised in finding out that Blair didn’t tell the truth ! They should be hauling him back over the coals about his alleged WMD’s in Iraq as well. In fact, the most amazing thing is to consider that, for all their dependence on spin, how most New Labour politicians are such lousy liars.

British bars could be banned from offering women free drinks under Government proposals to tackle binge drinking, which have angered the drinks industry. Other plans being considered by ministers include restricting free tastings and ‘happy hour’ (above) offers along with compulsory health warnings wherever alcohol is sold. Restaurants may also have to serve wine with marked measures. The shake-up of the drinks industry is aiming to cut excessive drinking to reduce public drunkenness and booze-related health and social problems. However pubs and bars have reacted furiously, saying they need red tape like a ‘hole in the head’. An industry spokesman said : “At a time when the economy and business is under severe pressure it’s government’s role to support business not send in a wrecking crew with the ball and chain of further regulation. Government needs to wake up to the fact that already five pubs a day are closing in Britain due to economic conditions without this nonsense”. Quite right too - and in any case we may as well enjoy a drink while we can in this time of crisis, because it won’t be too long before the imposition of Sharia Law closes all the pubs anyway.

And while we’re on about Sharia Law, a  New Labour Muslim minister has actually warned that Islamic law is “too unsophisticated” for Britain. Sadiq Khan MP (pictured above) said women could be “abused” by Sharia courts, which may give unequal bargaining power to the sexes. He said: “The burden is on those who want to open up these courts to persuade us why they should.” Mr Khan, who was made a community cohesion minister in this month’s Government reshuffle, rejected the argument that the courts could operate in the same way as Jewish Beth Din courts. He said Muslim life in Britain was not advanced enough to run a similar religious legal system. The MP for Tooting in South London added: ‘I would be very concerned about Sharia courts applying in the UK. I don’t think there is that level of sophistication that there is in Jewish law.” He also said that Sharia courts would discourage Muslims from developing links with other cultural and ethnic groups. Whilst I think that ALL religious courts, including Jewish ones, shouldn’t be allowed in the UK, it’s refreshing to hear a Muslim minister talking some sense. So much sense in fact that he’ll probably become a target for some nutter.

Champion golfer Severiano Ballesteros (pictured above) has been diagnosed with a brain tumour, it was confirmed yesterday. Seve was admitted to hospital last Monday after suffering what doctors described as dizziness and a temporary loss of consciousness. A battery of tests revealed what Spanish newspapers described as an unspecified “grave” illness which has unfortunately been revealed as a tumour. It is believed Ballesteros will undergo surgery on Tuesday before doctors decide on a course of treatment. If Seve confronts his illness in the same way he challenged golf courses in his prime, full recovery will hopefully be a formalty . Good luck Seve !  

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In the UK Prince Charles (pictured above with his former mistress Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall) is not exactly displaying solidarity with the “common people” during the credit crunch. He has announced that he’s going ahead with his £250,000 visit over 10 days to Japan and Indonesia to promote trade and “inter-faith understanding with Muslims.” As for his work-shy wife she will be returning early from the tour, as she “doesn’t like the heat.” Apparently after six crushingly arduous days, Her Royal Slothiness will cut short her gracious but somewhat truncated contribution to the tour in order to ‘catch her breath’ before Charles’s 60th birthday celebrations back in the UK. Ordinary Britons may be facing up to a period of financial sacrifice, but it’s party time for the Pampered Prince. Charles is planning not one but two extravagant celebrations to mark his 60th birthday, including a lavish five-course banquet, where doubtless the champagne will flow and the hangers-on will dip their snouts in the trough at taxpayers expense. If there is a greater, more arrogant display of contempt for the hardships the population is facing it would be hard to envisage it. While ordinary people are terrified of losing their homes, their pensions and savings, Charles and Camilla are behaving like contemptuous idiots. And as for the next generation of Royals, Prince William and Prince Harry Hewitt have just announced they’re off on a 1,000-mile motorcycling trip across Africa. Their courtiers say it’s to raise funds for Harry’s African charity. Bollocks - another gap year jolly, this time minus heliocopters. Aren’t there plenty of good causes the young Princes could be supporting in the UK ? All in all, these displays of royal arrogance and self-indulgence at a time of economic hardship for most of us are a disgrace - and won’t be forgotten.

The world is on the brink of financial meltdown, the head of the International Monetary Fund (IMF) said last night. His bleak warning came as finance ministers tried to calm the frenzy in markets that saw share prices crash by more than 20% last week. The IMF’s chief economist added to the gloom by predicting that shares could slump by another 20% before stabilising. Dominique Strauss-Kahn (pictured above), the IMF’s managing director, warned that the measures so far “have not yet achieved the goal of stabilising markets and bolstering confidence”. He said: “Intensifying solvency concerns about a number of the largest US-based and European financial institutions have pushed the global financial system to the brink of systemic meltdown. Countries would need to take further measures, including interest rate cuts and steps to bolster the banks.” Another good way of easing the problems would be for doom-mongers like Dominique Strauss-Kahn to shut their bloody mouths.

Muslim prisoners inside one of the UK’s maximum security jails (above) are attempting to force inmates to convert to an extremist form of Islam. An inspection report on Whitemoor jail in Cambridgeshire, which houses some of the country’s most dangerous criminals, highlighted concerns that the jail was being used as a recruiting ground for radical Islam and found staff were reluctant to tackle “inappropriate behaviour” by Muslim inmates. It said Islamic prisoners were left to “police themselves”. Whitemoor has already been the focus of disquiet about its high number of Islamic inmates after a Prison Service report in June underlined problems in ensuring officers were equipped to deal with them. The jail has 120 Muslim inmates – almost a third of the total – but only eight have been convicted of terrorism. The Whitemoor report echoes findings at Belmarsh jail in London which found staff were “insufficiently trained” to tackle radicalisation. Well I’m not an expert on prisons but I do have a simple answer to stop radicalisation and forced conversion. Solitary confinement. In cells facing Mecca, of course.

In the US Republican vice-presidential hopeful Sarah Palin (pictured above) unlawfully abused her power as Governor of Alaska by attempting to have her former brother-in-law fired as a state trooper, an inquiry has found. The inquiry by lawmakers ruled however that Palin did not break any laws. Despite the findings, Palin and her Presidential candidate John McCain said the report showed she had acted with ‘proper and lawful authority’. A bipartisan Alaska legislative panel ruled that Mrs Palin abused her authority by firing her public safety commissioner Walt Monegan because he wouldn’t axe her former brother-in-law from his job as a state trooper. Abuse of power and authority by a Republican politician. Hard to believe.

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There is only one item on Caledonian Comment today. I want to concentrate on the stock markets (above), which seem to be in crisis all over the world. And the reason for that is that in trying to compile material for this blog today I’m confronted everywhere I look with the financial crisis.

For the past few weeks ordinary people across the globe, with reference to events in Wall Street and the City of London in particular, have been confronted by hysterical 24-hour news channels telling us doom is at hand. The Credit Crunch. Financial Armageddon. A new Pearl Harbour. Dunkirk all over again. But if you analyse it all what does it really add up to ? 99.9 % of us have no say in what goes on in the stock markets. Our lives are therefore being influenced by the people working in these glorified betting shops. And who are these movers and shakers ? Jumped up barrow-boys and bookmakers runners, gamblers, speculators and cringeing fly-by-nights. They, together with their “respectable” cousins, bankers and financial “experts”, are currently displaying a collective cowardice that will drive the whole planet into recession unless we stop the insidious activities of this entire pestilential crew.

I watched a TV program yesterday in the UK where some City spiv, patronising as ever, insisted that the UK government’s rescue package was being treated “with caution” by the City because it “was too clever by half”. When asked to explain, he complained that the taxpayer funding wasn’t “blanket” enough - banks should be able to avail themselves of the money “without conditions or stipulations”, he said. But as the plan stood, investors “were worried” that banks would have to “comply with conditions” to avail themselves of liquidity.  A piece of breathtaking arrogance when you consider how the clients of banks have had over the years to jump through hoops and sell their souls to get a loan at rip-off prices. But the major lesson of the last few weeks on both sides of the pond is how the arrogant money men, even when they are shown up as greedy, incompetent and corrupt, don’t think that the rules should apply to them. 

The current crisis will be hard. But it will have one welcome result everywhere. No longer will the imperious money men be able to take the piss. At least until short memories fade and we drop ourselves in it again.

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