California Diaspora

Extended Pause

noreply@blogger.com (Josh (the oak)) — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 04:52:00 +0000

Apologies for the lack of updates here for awhile.

I've now been in Nashville for a year, and posted on this blog 49 times for almost weekly average. However, after that much time I may be past the shock and surprise. Or at least I have started losing my frame of reference.

So for now anyway, I won't be posting here any longer.

You can continue to find my acerbic wit on twitter and my personal blog as well as my thinking about design and customer & user experience at mightyoakes.com.

It was fun while it lasted, thanks for reading.

Ahh, 4H Club

noreply@blogger.com (Josh (the oak)) — Fri, 28 Nov 2008 21:00:00 +0000

The week we were finishing the home buying process (more on that later, maybe) we had to attend a class oh how to buy a home. Which is not what this post is about.

The classroom (wood-paneled storage room) featured plaques awarded to no one, as far as I can tell, for some odd life skills.

At the Pumpkin Patch

noreply@blogger.com (Josh (the oak)) — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 15:00:00 +0000

This weekend we took the kids to a "pumpkin farm" to pick out pumpkins and get in on the fall experience: manure, gourds, animals, hay, hayrides, being cold, rotting pumpkins. You know: fall.

Pumpkin Hill has nothing on the Avila Barn. I won't count the longer hay ride in the pro column for Pumpkin Hill; 40 minutes is an unsuitably long hayride.

But the real story is another family sighted at Pumpkin Hill. A middle-aged woman and her mother had brought a toddler to select a pumpkin. I presume the child was adopted because his ostensible mother was white like the moon and the child was dark like fine chocolate. This isn't, by itself, notable to me in any way. However, this is the South and Mom was controlling the child by keeping him on a leash.

They clearly didn't pick up on the subtext.

It's The Little Differences

noreply@blogger.com (Josh (the oak)) — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 03:20:00 +0000

It's the little differences between California and Tennessee that really get you.

For example, we don't have any flaming squirrels, and if we did it would mean companionship or hunting for food.

What Nashville Beer are You

noreply@blogger.com (Josh (the oak)) — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 03:43:00 +0000

I post this not because it is funny, or even remotely meaningful, but because I feel obligated. I am generally disgusted by the internet "quiz culture" and despite how asinine, narrow, and ridiculously panderous it is, I give you:

Which Nashville Beer are You

I'm just glad there is a flash app that can tell me which local beer I would like as long as I can tell it what kind of beer I like. Everyone who knows me knows that I hardly talk about anything else.

I Can't Get Away From High Gas Prices

noreply@blogger.com (Josh (the oak)) — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 17:26:00 +0000

The gas shortages have gotten better (not waiting in lines) but prices are still high here. I saw this article last week, Gasoline cheaper in California than in 15 other states.

We're only now getting notably below $4/gallon. Watching the lines, panic, and skyrocketing prices made me think about how these things are only the early signs of things to come when gas is sparse everywhere..

More Evidence that Things (or People) May Never Change

noreply@blogger.com (Josh (the oak)) — Sun, 05 Oct 2008 07:02:00 +0000

These were sighted on a car in Austin, TX last weekend when we were visiting family. Submitted without further comment for obvious reasons.

Craigslist Bargains

noreply@blogger.com (Josh (the oak)) — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 02:50:00 +0000

Good point. Why would you pay $800 to $1000 when you can get it custom for $250.

Well, it is a Red State

noreply@blogger.com (Josh (the oak)) — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 04:31:00 +0000

When not stressing about the potentiality of buying a house, I have been trying to process what is means to live here during an election year.

East Nashville is pretty diverse, so we see a good shuffling of campaign signs, including a fair number of Ron Paul and Clinton signs still up.

But this story is about how I found out McCain named his Veep.

I was at work, working with a customer on the retail floor and was forced by proximity, volume and absurdity to overhear half of a cell phone conversation.

Yeah. Yeah. She's a woman. They just announced it.

I had to turn around to observe this speaker, gripped by the southern accent I had incorrectly assumed to be a parody, and by the fact that I could imagine this statement being the setup for several decent punchlines. The speaker's accent was a real as his dirty off-brand 80's hi-tops, his cutoff sweat shorts, his white sleeveless t-shirt, and dirty "trucker's" cap.

No, no. She's good. I read all about it on the wikipedia. It was already up there.

Pause for other party.

Yeah, it's good. She's the Governor of Alaska. She hunts moose. Anyway, I'll call you later.

So, I guess Palin appeals to more than the crossover vote.

Survey Says...

noreply@blogger.com (Josh (the oak)) — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 04:12:00 +0000

Number of people I've seen walking around with a machete:

California: 0
Tennessee: 1

Number of people in the supermarket who don't seem to get the connection between physique and the contents of their shopping cart:

California: 10%-20%
Tennessee: 80+%

Number of times cops have stopped me to ask if I've seen anyone around fighting:

Tennessee: 2
California: 0

Number of times I've discovered I could afford to buy a house:

California: 0
Tennessee: 1

Number of species of creepy bugs found in my house (not including spiders):

California: 2-3
Tennessee: 5-10

Percentage of musicians:

California: ~10%
Tennessee: 90%

Not to be outdone...

noreply@blogger.com (Josh (the oak)) — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 00:09:00 +0000

The Beer Lobby shows state pride with Tennessee Beer, complete with Vol Orange packaging. Even just a few short years ago we lived in a world without modern conveniences like this. I don't even want to think about an era like that.

Only the Finest

noreply@blogger.com (Josh (the oak)) — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 21:39:00 +0000

I was doing some tandem web surfing this weekend (you know, 2 people, 2 computers and a lot of "Look at this, look at that") and ended up on the Tennessee Titans website, which features a link to their cheerleader's site. What kind of information would a cheerleading site have, other than pictures? "Something great" I thought and was compelled to click the link.

I figured Bios would be the place to go, and I was right. The bios contain answers to several questions, including "What would you take with you if you were stranded on a desert island" (or something along those lines). Some notable responses out of the 31 Bios:

7 (22%) said Cell Phone/Smartphone. Reception and power will be easy to come by?
7 (22%) said some form of Other People. To share in your misery?
4 (14%) said iPod or Computer. Right.
3 (10%) said Chapstick (ok) or Lip Gloss. LIP GLOSS?

There were some other doozies including a Genie and a bottomless Coke well. But most importantly only 2 Titans Cheerleaders would think to bring a boat.

Illegitimate...uh...Distribution of Something Else

noreply@blogger.com (Josh (the oak)) — Sat, 16 Aug 2008 20:28:00 +0000

We lived in Cleveland during our first stint in Tennessee.

Legitimate Beer Distribution

noreply@blogger.com (Josh (the oak)) — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 03:42:00 +0000

Recently, Fat Tire and 1554 were made available here in Tennessee. I'm not a fanboi, but I enjoy both occasionally. The more Northwest Microbrews I can get in Tennessee the better. Anyway, they are only available in 22oz bottles, as pictured.

I guess the recent availability is not at all mob related. At all.

As you can see from my lighter...

noreply@blogger.com (Josh (the oak)) — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 05:34:00 +0000

Does anything say State Pride (...yeah) like a State-branded disposable cigarette lighter?

Answer: excluding State-branded meth labs, breathalyzers, and handguns, No. Nothing.

...and Humid Too!

noreply@blogger.com (Josh (the oak)) — Sat, 26 Jul 2008 19:53:00 +0000

That's What I Get for Living Here

noreply@blogger.com (Josh (the oak)) — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 19:09:00 +0000

This week I was meeting someone at a coffeeshop and while waiting outside overheard this snippet of conversation:

Dude 1: Hey! Is that Garth?
Dude 2: I don't know.
Dude 1: I think it is!
Dude 2: Maaaaybe.
[Potential garth turns around]
Dude 2: Nope.
Dude 1: Shit!
Me: [rolls eyes]

I was later told the particular coffeeshop at hand is a popular celebrity-spotting zone. So now I'm torn because it is one of the few (the only?) coffeeshops open late in town. I can finally work late, but risk running into a gaggle of celebrity watchers or an actual celebrity. I don't know which would be worse, or if it's even worth it.

Yes! Top Ten! Suck on that, California!

noreply@blogger.com (Josh (the oak)) — Sat, 19 Jul 2008 15:18:00 +0000

Who's laughing now? [link via Flowing Data]

Yard Waste

noreply@blogger.com (Josh (the oak)) — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 19:11:00 +0000

Something I noticed immediately upon moving here is that garbage collection services are far less...extensive than in California, where we had weekly recycling, green waste and garbage pickup.

I was inexplicably surprised to find only trash and recycle bins, no green waste bin. But our current yard is large, so I neither expected nor encountered a problem finding a place to dump my grass clippings.

But at the same time I noticed people piling green waste along the street. When storms started knocking down trees, it wasn't uncommon to find an entire tree disassembled and rotting.

For months, this waste would pile up, wilt and turn brittle, sitting in large heaps all along my street. I had heard rumors from folks: "I think those yard places come get it..."

Well, this week I was surprised to see a large truck inching it's way up the street, a young boy sitting in the back operating a long hydraulic arm, stopping at each house and picking up the accumulated piles of brown yard waste. I guess this would be my tax dollars at work, but I think I prefer the Weekly Green Bin Pickup to the Sporadic Giant Crane Truck.

Today I Ate Lunch with 10 Strangers

noreply@blogger.com (Josh (the oak)) — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 02:09:00 +0000

Today I was taken to lunch at Monell's Dining in Nashville. I haven't processed the experience yet, so all I can do is describe it.

Monell's is in an old, large house in the Germantown neighborhood. I followed my host into the yard through an ivy-borne trellis and around the side of the house. The menu, which I see is based on the day of the week, is posted on the door to what was once a sunroom. And it's quite a long menu, but I don't have time to read it because as we enter are seated immediately.

Seated immediately at a large table. A very large table. With 8 people I don't know. Who are passing around bowls of food.

Cole Slaw, Macaroni Salad, Green Beans, Rolls and Corn Bread. I'm loading up some macaroni salad when a woman at the table tells us to pace ourselves, there is a lot of food. "Sure," I think, "there are three sides plus bread, and the main course to come." But before I've taken a bit of macaroni salad the staff seat 3 more people at our table and bring out mashed potatoes, corn on the cob, corn pudding, and okra for everyone to pass around.

Soon after I manage to get ahold of the sides I am interested in the staff seats two more people and brings out the main courses. Fried Chicken, Southern Barbeque Ribs, and Chicken Fried Steak.

And, of course, there was Banana Pudding for desert.

Lots of heavy, fried food. Around a table with 10 strangers. For $12. And the Weekend Brunch menu is a heart attack on a plate.

The 4th In Nashville

noreply@blogger.com (Josh (the oak)) — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 13:36:00 +0000

I don't recall sweating while watching fireworks on any previous 4th.

I did expect more general insanity from a Red State. My hometown of Cayucos (population "2500") was always crazier than anything I saw here.

Warning Signs

noreply@blogger.com (Josh (the oak)) — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 15:52:00 +0000

I am still trying to figure out how to get around here in Nashville. As big cities go, it isn't very big geographically, but I am still confused most of the time. Many of the roads go back pretty far into history, so they meander in ways that might have been convenient to drivers of horses and buggies, but make little sense to drivers of automobiles. This meander means that you will often encounter specific streets in places you would not expect.

Perhaps in an effort to atone for these oversights in Regional Planning, many streets in East Nashville have what I call "Warning Signs" in addition to street signs. These signs are posted 20-30 yards before an intersection to warn drivers (I suppose) which street they are approaching. Very handy given that it is easy to come unexpectedly upon and intersection, and given that a tree can easily obscure a street sign around here in only a week's growth.

Great Idea, Poor Implementation. Click the photo for an illustration. Warning signs are indistinguishable from street signs. And they are usually placed injudiciously. In the photo, Harwood Ave isn't the street indicated by the red arrow, that is a driveway. Nor is it the street indicated by the yellow arrow, that is also a driveway. It is in fact, the street indicated by the blue arrow.

Tennessee Fainting Goats

noreply@blogger.com (Josh (the oak)) — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 13:47:00 +0000

By most accounts, John Tinsley came to middle Tennessee in the mid to late 1800's to work as a farmer brining with him, among other things, a handful of goats. These goats, the ancestors of the "goats-at-hand" were slightly smaller than your typical goat and had some odd characteristics. They often walked stiff-leggedly, were not prone to wandering off, and didn't climb low fences or walls. And they fell down. A lot.

Mr. Tinsley's goats, which he sold before moving on from the area, suffered from a hereditary condition which at the time was quite rare, but has now been selectively bred to produce today's Tennessee Fainting Goats. This condition, Myotonia congenita, causes an involuntary muscle contraction in times of alarm or distress. When these goats are startled the brief moment of panic causes their legs to stiffen, whereby the goat falls over.

Highlights of that video are the mullet at :30 and the mass debilitation at about :50.

In the years since Tinsley showed up, Fainting Goats have been bred selectively, but I can come up with very few reasons why. They are considered Meat Goats by those to whom these things matter, but they tend to be smaller and thus, not so great for meat farming. So their practical value would be limited. Certainly, they would be an acceptable Lawn and Weed Service. There seems to be a history of using them as Bait, as it were; if a wolf shows up, the goat will faint and be eaten (Circle of Life) allowing other your other animals, who are not hysterical, to escape.

Or the use I would put them to: when you're having a difficult day, head out to the yard and scare the bejesus out of your goats. They faint, you laugh. Suddenly the world isn't such a bleak place, yes?

Cruel jokes aside, they remain popular today, the Nashvegas Craigslist regularly features them for sale, which is how I stumbled onto this oddity in the first place. Since everyone gets a festival of their own these days, Lewisburg, TN, hosts the Fainting Goat Festival–featuring a Fainting Goat Show, of course–every October. There are plenty of specialized breeders, and, absurdity of absurdities, an International Fainting Goat Association dedicated to tracing pedigrees (of a genetic disorder mind you) and increasing public awareness and understanding of the Fainting Goat.

For a little more fainting goat entertainment, check out more fainting goat videos and the Fainting Goats wiki page.

Late Night Traffic Patterns

noreply@blogger.com (Josh (the oak)) — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 18:21:00 +0000

Being a husband and father means that I am not out late at night like I used to be. This week, however, I was out late the night we flew into Nashville after spending a week in Cali, and again to pick up my brother-in-law and family from the airport the night they flew in.

I noticed two things. The first is that it is still very hot and very humid at 11PM this time of year. Like being hit with a hot wet towel, but we have discussed this many times before, and while uncomfortable, it wasn't surprising.

What I did find surprising is that at some point in the evenings, and I don't know when because I rarely venture out after the kiddie's bedtime, the traffic signals go from the normal "Green Means Go, Red Means Stop, Yellow Means Speed Up" mode to a "Don't inconvenience anyone out this late" mode.

On larger streets–Gallatin Road in this case–the signals were all flashing yellow rather than cycling through the normal routine. Cross streets were flashing red. This may be common in bigger cities, Nashville is the largest city I have lived in, so how would I know?

It does seem like a good idea, people are just going to run those lights anyway.

Back in Cali

noreply@blogger.com (Josh (the oak)) — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 18:18:00 +0000

I'm back in California this week. This was cemented not by the long, full day of travel, not by driving from the airport directly to In-N-Out for an Animal Style Double Double, and not by driving past Montecito, or rolling into SLO, or stopping at Trader Joe's.

It was cemented when, driving North, as we approached Rincon, I saw in my rear view mirror a BMW 325 cruising up the 101 with a surfboard sticking out of the sunroof.

Ahhh, home.