Mom's House - Dad's House, After Divorce

A Canadian couple created a brilliant solution to a child custody problem most divorced parents face: carting the kids back and forth between mom's house and dad's house.

When physical child custody is split between divorced parents, Mom and Dad often find themselves hauling their children’s school, sports, and social equipment back and forth, and it's not uncommon to overlook something important, requiring yet another trip.

As reported by the Edmonton Journal, divorced parents Monica McGrath and Kent Kirkland designed a cleverly split family home that gives the parents their own private living space, along with a hall and door system that lets the kids stay in one house. This could work just as well for parents with California joint physical child custody.

The home is basically a duplex, with one half for each parent, but from the street, it looks like a single family residence. Monica's side has a front door at the front of the house, but the door and front porch to Kent's side is around the side of the house, hidden from the street view.

Although sharing a common wall, the insides of these twin homes are as different as the occupants. Monica's home is bright and light, with keepsakes decor and art. Kent's home is minimalist with neutral colors--stark and masculine with more practical features. What they have in common is three bedrooms on the second floor. But depending on which week it is, the number of bedrooms can increase to four, or decrease to two.

The children, 10-year-old Sean and 8-year-old Audrey, each have their own rooms, located in a hallway that is accessible to both homes, with locking fire doors at each end of the hall.

During the weeks when Monica has the kids, Kent locks the door on his end of the hall. When it's Kent's turn with the children, Monica locks her hallway door. The kids know not to try and access the other parent through the locked doors. They use the front door or the phone instead if they need their other parent.

What's so great about this arrangement is that the kids have permanent rooms, and don't have to haul their stuff back and forth between different homes. It also saves the parents a lot of driving to pick up kids. Another plus is the flexibility this allows in their lives. If an important outside commitment comes up during one of the parent's time with the kids, the other one is right next door.

Of course, it takes a certain amount of cooperation and civility between divorced parents, and the willingness to do what’s best for the kids, to be able to pull something like this off, along with the financial means to create such a flexible type of home. In Monica and Kent's case, they put their children first from the very start of the troubles in their marriage.

Monica and Kent admit that it was a lot of work to get where they are now, and they had to work through some hard feelings, and that even now all their feelings are not warm and loving. But they feel that it was worth it to be able to live in a "progressive" home the children can call their own.

For more information on how parents can get the best possible California divorce for their kids, visit NoloDivorce.com/CA/CA.html.

Nolo Press Occidental has released Ed Sherman's latest eBook, Nolo's Essential Guide to California Divorce. The new book is actually Part One of his famous best-seller, How to Do Your Own Divorce in California, the book that launched the entire self-help law movement.

Sherman published his Essential Guide to meet the needs of Californians who want to learn more about the divorce process and understand how it works in California. Sherman says, "The single most important factor in a divorce is starting off with the right information. Divorce is hard enough without having to struggle against a legal system that tends to make things worse instead of better. If you follow my advice, you won't have to go through that."

Nolo's Essential Guide to California Divorce provides advice, both practical and legal; explains California divorce law and how it affects you; and helps you define what kind of case you have, then explains how to proceed with your divorce. In plain clear language Sherman provides essential information you will need to get through your California divorce faster, and with a lower cost and minimum pain.  His information is based on Sherman's 40+ years of experience with more than 46,000 cases that settled successfully without a court battle.

You may be wondering why Sherman decided to publish the first part of an existing title separately. After so many years of experience helping people get divorced, Sherman understands that even if you don't want to do your own divorce, his information is still essential to going through the divorce process and coming out with the best possible outcome. That's what his Essential Guide provides. If you decide after reading his Essential Guide that you do feel comfortable filing for divorce on your own, you can then get How to Do Your Own Divorce in California at a substantial discount, available only to owners of the Essential Guide, and use Part Two of How to Do Your Own Divorce to learn how to prepare and file your paperwork yourself.

Get Your Copy Now

Call (800) 464-5502 or Click the Add to Cart Button Below

The Nolo Divorce YouTube Channel features 16 new videos of divorce expert attorney Ed Sherman covering such topics as:

• How to Get a Divorce
• How to Do Your Own Divorce in California
• How to File for Divorce
• Divorce Mediation
• Online Divorce
• Divorce Lawyers
• Child Support in Divorce
• Divorce Settlements
• How to Divide Property in a Divorce
• How to Get Sherman's Divorce Checklist

Sherman is famous for starting the self-help law movement when he founded Nolo Press in 1971 to publish the first edition of How to Do Your Own Divorce in California. Since then, divorcing couples have saved BILLIONS of dollars in legal fees using Sherman's divorce books and software.

Although Sherman has sold more than a million books (which are based on his experience of over 40 years of success with more than 46,000 cases that settled successfully without a fight in court) he saw the need to provide information in video format, in keeping with the growing trend towards video.

Divorce Helpline has helped over 46,000 couples settle their divorces without a court battle. If you're getting divorced in California, they can help you too. The attorneys at Divorce Helpline specialize in mediation, and are very experienced in California family law.

Even if you're filing your own California divorce forms, you may want to get a question or two answered, and you can call Divorce Helpline and get your answers over the phone.

If you and your spouse are having trouble agreeing on terms, you can greatly benefit from Divorce Helpline's California divorce mediation services.

To learn more about the mediation process and how it works, click here to listen to an interview with Divorce Helpline attorney/mediator Charma Pipersky.

For more information that can help with your divorce, click here: California divorce kit.

Divorce expert attorney Ed Sherman explains how a divorce works, and how to file a divorce, in this helpful video.

Divorce attorneys, divorce lawyers, plus how to use them, along with divorce attorney fees and divorce lawyer fees, including retainer fees, are all explained in this video by divorce expert attorney Ed Sherman.

Attorney Ed Sherman discusses California divorce mediation in this video. If you and your spouse are having trouble agreeing on how to settle, mediation in divorce is much more productive and cost effective than retaining divorce attorneys. For more information on this topic, visit California Divorce Mediation

Most people with California divorce cases probably think their divorce is over once their Judgment has been entered. This is usually true, but in some cases they could be wrong.

This is illustrated by a new development in the Frank McCourt divorce. According to the online version of the San Francisco Chronicle, former Los Angeles Dodgers owner Frank McCourt’s ex-wife, Jamie McCourt, said the $131 million divorce settlement she agreed to last year is unfair after her ex-husband sold the team for $2.15 billion.

The McCourt divorce was settled in October 2011 after two years of litigation. Jamie McCourt ended up relinquishing her claim to co-ownership of the Dodgers in exchange for $130 million.

But on September 24, 2012, Jamie McCourt filed a request in a Los Angeles California divorce court that the settlement be set aside, stating it was based on fraud. According to Jamie McCourts request, Frank McCourt had declared under penalty of perjury that the fair market value of their assets was less than $300 million the month before their divorce was settled. This is quite a bit less than the $2.15 billion he later sold the team for.

In his book, How to Do Your Own Divorce in California, divorce expert attorney Ed Sherman says that to be final, your Judgment must have been obtained fairly and be based on complete and accurate disclosure. Traditionally, laws favor the finality of judgments in the belief that society is best served by having things over and done with for good and forever. Exceptions were few and limited until 1993, when lawmakers decided to make sure no spouse enters into a divorce agreement or suffers a judgment taken under unfair conditions. A divorce judgment can now be attacked and some or all of its orders can be set aside under several specific circumstances, which Sherman describes in his book. In all cases, the facts alleged must have materially affected the outcome and the party seeking relief must be benefited if relief is granted.

Any divorce agreement or Judgment is potentially subject to attack for an indefinite period of time due to high standards of care between spouses and partners, disclosure requirements, and the new rules extending the time for setting aside all or part of a divorce Judgment. The greater risk is borne by a spouse or partner who managed community affairs because that person is presumably in possession of more information that can be hidden, overlooked, or forgotten.

These rules are meant to ensure disclosure of all information between spouses, but they also increase the opportunities for litigation and provide new weapons for revenge. These laws concern property and, to a lesser degree, support, but upset over any matters—child custody, for example—could easily find an outlet in property issues. So what can you do to make a Judgment or an agreement stick?

How to make your Judgment final:

If you want to get on with your life and not have your divorce become a career, it is more important than ever to work for a fair resolution of all issues, emotional and financial, that satisfies both sides.     

• Be open, fair and temperate in all dealings with your spouse listen more than you speak; don’t argue.

• If necessary, use mediation and even counseling or therapy.

• Be very careful and thorough with your disclosure declarations.

• Make sure you have a high-quality settlement agreement.

• If you have enough income or property to make a legal attack worthwhile, it is not a good idea to write your own or have a paralegal do it.

A good agreement is one that has been thoroughly discussed, worked out in great detail, and is very carefully drafted, and all facts have been disclosed and the parties have given each other open access to every document and record.

If you do these things, you can go a long way toward making sure the divorce is really over when it’s over.

Click this link to listen now:

www.NoloDivorce.com

You will hear Charma's answers to these questions:

• What is divorce mediation and how does it work?                                           
• What benefits can couples get from California divorce mediation?             
• How much can couples save with mediation vs. a court battle?                   
• What is the role of the mediator?                                                                         
• What about couples who don't know anything about the divorce process?
• How does California divorce mediation affect the stress level of divorce? 
• How does mediation affect compliance with the terms of the divorce?       

You want the best possible divorce outcome, and setting goals towards achieving the ideal divorce can make that happen.

This is just like setting goals for your health or for your skill level in your favorite sport. You might not reach perfection, but just the simple act of trying makes things better.

Here are some divorce goals worth striving for:

• Cooperate with your spouse so you can file for an uncontested divorce

• Put aside anger and resentment enough so that the two of you can work out a written agreement on dividing property, support, and parenting issues if you have kids

• Take charge of your divorce, and your life, by getting organized and prepared before seeing an attorney

• Consider not using an attorney at all. If you can work together to create a settlement agreement, you can file for divorce on your own and save a ton of money on legal fees

• If you have kids, put them first and make sure they aren't damaged by the divorce

• Keep personal and business issues separate during the divorce. Remember that the legal divorce is just about the business of dividing marital assets and debts, setting spousal support (if any), making parenting arrangements and child support if you have kids, and getting restraining orders to keep the peace, if necessary. All other divorce problems are personal, and should be handled separately from the negotiating the legal divorce issues.

• End the divorce with your dignity, confidence and self-respect intact--ready to start a new life.

Your goals are something you work toward, but you shouldn't beat yourself up each time you fall short. Just try your best. The closer you get, the better your future will be.

For more divorce tips and advice, visit the online Reading Room at www.NoloDivorce.com. To learn more about how to reach these goals for a divorce in the Golden State, visit California Divorce Forms.