CAliPtic!

Realizing you own a blog

2023-01-23T09:36:00.000+08:00

About 10 years ago while attending Monash University, Malaysia, my journalism lecturer had the entire class start their own blogs. By 2012, I had graduated with a degree in international relations. In the bid to submit an assignment I opened a blog, posted a few stories and and forgot about it.

Having graduated, I moved back home where the parents had now concluded their investment and it was time to fend for myself. I struggled well well before nepotism landed me a juicy receptionist position at a printing firm. Life was starting to look up. It now felt like I could handle anything thrown my way. I was thriving at work, being given promotions east left center. I was the one, Abi. While I started to recognize the potential of building a career from there, I had little birds in my ears like all other "children of age". "when are you getting married??"

Well the pressure build up, oh not to forget the male species which was also actively participating in persuasion that finally paid off. At 25yrs of age, I got married. The older I get, the more I see how young, naïve and foolish it was for me to chose marriage thinking it would solve my issues.

In this paragraph, I will share some of the terrible reasons that overshadowed my judgment at the time and enabled such a terrible discission. Before going further, you should know that I was born to a staunch Islamic family of four siblings with me being the fourth. Well, I had the pressure of being obedient to my parents so I got married. That's just the first reason, wait till you here the others. I was also sincerely tired of being kept. I felt gated and unable to explore who I truly am under my parent's roof so I applied marriage as a solution. Did I love the man? That's a story for another day. I wanted to try this birthing thing too so again my solution was marriage. As you must have figured by now, the marriage stood no chance and collapsed soon after I discovered my ability to birth.

Despite the dead marriage, I was left with a special heart champion. The beautiful angel, who struggled with a congenital heart condition known as Tricuspid Atresia 1C, succumbed to it in March 2018. By this time, I had quit my job to take care of my daughter. I can honestly say her two years on earth hold some of my most cherished memories. She will always be loved and missed dearly. Her names were Eshaal Eshmail. By the end of that month, results from the US green card lottery were out and "we" had been selected. It was a period of mixed feelings. I had just lost a daughter and was presented with a chance to go live in the US.

If you know anyone who has ever won this lottery, you know that the process also takes life to come to the end. For the entire 2018, I was working to see this process through. Interviews were scheduled in Nairobi, I was in and out of there three times before my passport was finally posted with a visa in March, 2019...one year later.

By April that year, I packed up and moved to the United states, solo mission kabisa. Its January 22nd 2023 and at 7pm I stumbled upon my twitter profile that gave me the link to this blog. I didn't know how much peace there was in writing but wow, am impressed and plan to keep this up.

PAIN, SHAME, HURT; LOVE

2011-09-30T23:57:00.000+08:00

When disappointment creeps in like a thief in the night
Darkness blankets the heart
And pain oozes from the soul; like pus from a gigantic sore
When sorrow befalls your face
And joy fades
When the smile ceases
All turns bitter
All gets worse
No hope for the better

Like the grass blown by the wind
The soul is tossed to and fro
The heart regrets every second
The mind goes on stand still like a car that has just hit a wall
Fear flows like blood from a ruptured valve
Joy fades like the setting sun
The whole body becomes numb
Emotions freeze
Feet get stuck as though you will never move
The news come like a volcano
Unexpected
Like an earthquake
Forbidden
They shake you out of your roots
They shake you out of your comfort
Like a hunter’s spear
It tears through the body
And crushes the heart
It pulls out all the strength
Takes the hope
Kills the trust
And robs you of the peace
When life and love says to you....

“it is over”
“you aint good enough”
“you are wasting your time”
“just move on”
“you are not meant to be anything”
“just quit”

I hate to be in pain
I hate to be disappointed
I hate to be betrayed
But yet I surprise

All the time I can still smile
All the time I still arise
All the I still can
For I believe
If I still have the breath
I can still breathe on
If I still have the eyes
I can still see
If I still have my senses
I can still sense, feel and experience

Arise, again I say arise
Don’t be crushed
Learn to look and smile
If there is no sunshine in your direction
Let the smile on my face be your sunshine
We are pressed down but not crushed
Persecuted not abandoned
Struck down but not destroyed
Arise, again i say...arise

Dedicated to you in love
Despite your pain I love you
Despite your hurt God loves you more
We can’t have the answers to everything
That goes wrong in our lives
BUT
Remember the caged bird does not sing because it has the answers to life
But because it has a song
If you haven’t got a song yet
Then join in my melody....

Life as Unusual

2011-01-02T10:02:00.000+08:00

In my life, i believe if you live an ordinary life then you have got nothing to live for. some things, in fact most things, in life are unusual so stop getting too surprised at things that come your way. learn to embrace everything with arms wide open for that could be your last chance of seeing such...Dont be stunned, u might die this very minute and what you have is what you will go with. am sure if anybody wants to go to heaven from earth then they are gonna have to die, there is no short cut. this simply means that death is inevitable to all humans, be it an elephant, a cat or a man. when the unexpected comes in, embrace it and deal with it. have a plan in life, dont just keep waking up day to day without even noticing what constructive thing you managed to achieve the day before. or else your entire life will be a surprise. take time off, pray, plan, write a to do list if you tend to forget and count your achievements time after time, that way, you will be able to keep tags on what your life is about.

Right now am going through a unique chapter of life, feeling things i never knew i could feel, staggering across my options and still i cant get myself to see what lies at the end of the tunnel. it is a very frustrating and truthful moment where i feel like i have been given two options; either to be truthful to myself or to be pitiful to others. am not being selfish, but the first option is my best option, besides i cannot mange to please everybody so am going to take a leap of faith anytime from now, confidently i will tell this particular person what i feel and how i think things should be and maybe we will manage to flip the page to the next chapter of life....i dont really like this chapter...it sucks, so Ya Allah, please guide me through this one all the way to the end, you are my only hope.!!

Running through my mind: "If u were dumped, cry a river, build a bridge and get over it"

believe me you can do it!

Karma

2011-01-02T09:28:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I question what I truly have to lose,

And then I really see its not all about me.

I feel like am being pushed up and around this endless tunnel

Am stuck in rat, I keep scampering round and round

I can see the end of the tunnel, the sunset sharply

Severing through my eyes but I cannot get myself to reach out to it

AM STUCK!

One Unhappy Ugandan!

2010-11-22T03:27:00.000+08:00

Dr. Kihura Nkuba

DR. Kihura Nkuba is a lecturer in classical African history, a writer and broadcaster. He believes Blacks are the mothers and fathers of the world as we know it today, and does not believe, therefore, that Africa is underdeveloped or that Africans are lazy.

But it is well known that Africans are lazy…
You get me from my bed at the age of two and take me to sit in class, away from activity and development and you want me to suddenly wake up and become vibrant? NO. All I did was sit!

But you were learning useful things to help you get a good job…
Do you know what I studied in school? John Speke. I studied that John Speke met Kabaka Muteesa in 1872. And that’s the only thing I know about Kabaka Muteesa. He didn’t have a coronation, he didn’t marry, he didn’t celebrate a battle, he didn’t commission a big lake... the only thing we know is that he met this lonely lost dumb white man named John Speke. Isn’t that sad? And they put his picture in Kasubi Tombs?I am sad Kasubi tombs caught fire, because they were was the pyramids of Uganda. But that picture of John Speke and Sir Samuel Baker... I am glad they caught fire. I haven’t found out if they really burnt them but I hope they did and their ashes can’t be reconstructed. What was they looking for to come and colonise us? To come and they own us? I don’t even know Kabaka Muteesa’s mother. I don’t even know who his chief commander was or the meteorologist who told him about the right season to plant.
All I learnt in school was John Speke. You know, if the legal system was good in Uganda I would have sued the entire education system. What makes the African unable is that he has no confidence. And he has no confidence because of the education system. It’s our education system that teaches people that the degree of knowledge is enough to make you developed yet there are 306 degrees.

So you think Africa will develop if Africans get very many degrees?
No. Education has to add to existent knowledge instead of just opening someone’s books. I want people to get an education that involves practical application. I want someone to be given a task — say an acre of land that produces 250 bags of maize today and is told to make it produce 500 bags of maize. If you succeed, then you qualify to be called an agriculturalist.
The world has moved on and this is the computer age but they are still studying the St. Lawrence Seaway, problems of New York as if I am going to be the mayor of New York. What do I have to do with New York? They don’t even want me there. Isn’t that madness? I wish I could go and remove the St. Lawrence Seaway so they don’t study it anymore. We need to study things that concern us, not the problems of New York but the problems of Rakai. It’s madness that we have the same education system we had years ago. We are doing exactly the same thing in the same way in the same environment yet we expect different results. That’s madness.

Do you want Africa can go back to the pre-colonial times?
I don’t want it to go back to precolonial times because it had already fallen from glory at about 662. I want it to go back to that time when we had built pyramids though now we can build a bus that doesn’t need fuel; or we can find a way of making a man walk on water. I want our food to be restored, not African people eating rice from Vietnam.
I want African people to call themselves African names not James and Barbara because a name identifies you with your language and culture. I want African people to project their Africanness and culture and to use culture to sustain themselves and develop tools and instruments that will take them forward. I want Africa to redesign and control its destiny. I want Africa to be free, and by that I mean the absence of coercion where leaders can choose their directors and ministers.
I want our judges to stop taking trips to America — for what? How many American judges have you seen invited to visit Uganda? I want our people to stop thinking that if I go and study in Europe I will be better educated that the person who studied in Kiswera Primary School because it’s the same education system. I want them to wear our African clothes not clothes from Germany or hold bags by Gucci. I want them to dream freedom. I want people to believe in a black God because the first people He created were blacks.

You have such grand plans for Africa! Why don’t you join politics and use it to as a forum to change Africa?
Do you know that the President asked me to be a minister and I refused? I told him that if you want me to be a minister let us all (ministers) work for no pay so you can know who is really patriotic. But I remember the President arguing that if you take me from Rwakitura and bring me to Kampala you need to give me a house... but I told him that all those people already have houses. They don’t live in foxholes.
That’s why Thomas Sankara became an icon. He gave all his ministers old volkswagens because they were lucky to get a job. But the people also have a problem. How do I come and put up a 14-storeyed building and you all keep quiet? You come and ask me where I got the money from. And that CHOGM thing made me angry, but Temangalo made me angrier.

In your opinion, what is wrong with our country and leaders?
Two things are making Uganda fail: the leadership is a leadership of plunderism. They are thieves. They are not nationalists. They are plunderers. But I believe that the President doesn’t steal because he has his cows. But he’s the only person I can say that for. His problem is that he shelters those who steal. I believe that he’s a genuine Pan Africanist but Europe pulling him. And I am not grateful that he closes his eyes at people plundering the country.
The second problem is that they trust white people more than they trust their own people. I met the President in July and I told him that if he died now he would have died as the president of Asians and Europeans. He promised me that they will start giving contracts to the black people in this country. They have failed to build an independent nation, not an imitator nation.

How can Africa get back her lost glory?
We have to re-orient ourselves. We have to re-learn. We have to get an ideology that suits us, first of all by defining ourselves as to who we are, where we come from.
If you are a black person, you need to know nobody else wants you in the world. Nobody wants black people, so it is ridiculous that we black people don’t want ourselves. They don’t want you in India. They don’t want you in China, Russia, Europe and America. So, the best thing you can do is like yourself as a black person, know where you have come from. Know your history. Know your culture. It’s revolutionary.
I think that the first step forward is the first step backward. For African people to say ‘let us discover ourselves.’ Let us first know how unique we are, what distinguishes us from everybody. We have to use an ideology that uses our culture for technological advancement. And I think we can make it, but we have to make it on our own terms to create something in our own image. We can do it, but first we have to love ourselves.

Published November 20 2010

Story of my life...

2010-11-08T05:07:00.000+08:00

I thought i was in love but i definitely dint know what i was talking until i saw it with my own eyes. this is not gonna be too long a story so i will just cut it down briefly and go straight to the point.
I will with-hold the use of names because they are very confidential. so on to the story,

I have got a best friend, very beautiful, straight forward, funny and most importantly very loving. she has been in a three year long relationship with this guy and has given him everything only that he just threw it ryt back at her. she never wanted to accept it but in june 2010, she dropped the act and let the guy go. he came back begging and breaking windows but she was done.

After she left tht whole r/p, she actually felt very alive,. he had separated her from her family and friends and she only realized tht a few months back. he had caused her so much pain to the point thyt she used to go to the bathroom in fear tht he myt call and she wont pick up. then Allah picked her up from her dreadful life and brought her ryt back on top. obviously she went thru the steps of a break-up but only by Allah does she know how tough this test was.

A few months later her mom called her and told her, "my dia, have you thought of marriage, u know u r almost thru with school..." she was totally surprised to hear this from her mum and was still in the final faze of recent break-up. A few days later she n her mum were talkin more often than usual. God stooped sending direct messengers and now send them thru the people you know love you the most. over time her mum had reminded her of a guy she met at the airport and the conversation went on.

One week down the road, the guy she met once at the airport proposed but went straight to her mum rather than coming to her. Do u see how God can alter your entire life in a second?? so on saturday tht weekend, the my friend's mum gave the guy her number and he called her 4 the 1st time. have you heard of love at 1st hear not sight! that was it i can say. they got along so well and now they are madly, deeply in love with each other. she is away, studying abroad but his plan to marry her still prevails. he went to pay her bride price even without having to spend time with her or anything close to what we call dating in the contemporary world.

As i write this, they are talking on the phone....lol....they talk for hours without getting tired. now she goes to the bathroom with her phone not in fear but rather hoping that he will call. she once said, some people just drop your spirits and others just rise them, just his name fascinates her!!! and to drop the final bomb, dates for the wedding have been set and they will live on as man and wife from the 1st of July, 2011.

To all the gals, dont give up, such guys still exist...and to the guys, jump on the elevator, we on the next level.
NB: If you like this, pls say MASHALLAH!

shukran!

Mystery

2010-08-07T04:40:00.001+08:00

I don't know how it all started but i would be regretting had it not.

In 2008, around feb i met a gal by the names of Taslima Hassan. At 1st I thought, "woo, thats a weird name" and she is weird too. omg, what am i gonna do. she sleeps lots and has loads of visitors...(arrrgggg)

It was my first year away from home and felt pretty lonely. i dint know much about the outside world and at this point i was trying so hard to comprehend what was going on. I stayed in a 4 sharing room and for the first two or so weeks, i dint say much to no-one. those were days of serious language barrier and culture shock.

A few days down the road, i started opening up and making a few friends here and there. my first friends in Malaysia were actually Ugandans, Mudi and Brenda. so i felt like i had a lil family here. i soon started talking to my house-mates and they all turned out cool. the coolest was Taslima and thats why am posting this.

Taslima and i became amazingly close and what made it even more comfortable was the fact that our beds were right next to each other. I cant forget the nights we woke at 2am in search for food. all the photos we took [lost them all :( ], all the stories we shared, the company! She became a part of me. So for the rest 2008, i was in my lil cattle not as the queen bee, but living with a fellow worker bee, just looking 4 what was left for life to be worthy. it was sad when we went off 4 holidays back to our respective countries but as God wished, we still kept in-touch.

Rock Cafe' at 3am

In 2009, i moved from being "single" to being "in a relationship" with her as per my facebook profile. our friendship continued to hold solid ground. we had never and still have never fought or even gotten into an argument. They say real friends fight once in a while but in this relationship, that aint the case. She is always right next to me be it i turn left or right. This might sound weird but she knows more about me than anyone has ever known. i feel like i have achieved a big dream.

She left Kuala Lumpur (KL) to study in Sarawak for a year and she would fly all the way back to KL just to visit. Do u now understand what i mean by 'i have achieved a BIG dream'?  i have a friend.

friend:one attached to another by affection or esteem,  one that is not hostile, a favored companion
   _merriam webster online dictionary

My 20th BirthDay

We are in 2010 now and she decided to move back to KL though not in the same area and still there are no humps in our friendship. Not many get this chance so let me take time and thank God for the beautiful creatures He has gifted planet earth with.

I think this love is a family thing for i have met her mum and her sister too. the experience turned out way better than i had expected. Once again, Allahu Akbar!

NB: The love i have for her is a mystery.

One of her crazy moments

Is it by FORCE????

2010-07-17T02:19:00.002+08:00

Okay, so there is this person whom i dont know but is in Malaysia and is a Ugandan just like me. when he added me as a friend on Facebook, i took time to look at the mutual friends we shared then in my mind I thought, maybe he knows me but i dont know him. So anyways, i accepted the friend request.

One day i was chatting with my long lost best friend on Fasebook. i dint really feel like chatting with any other person at the time but since i was online, many people kept buzzing me inclusive of this guy who calls himself "Esma Deric". u know when u buzz at someone and they dont reply, it means they are either not at the computer or they are busy.

When I dint answer this guy, he threatened to delete me from his friend list. Ati “I can’t be friends with you without chatting”. I saw it at that time but I was really tired so I just left it alone. He went ahead and deleted me from his list. I dint realize how funny it was till I woke up in the morning and I looked at it. I burst out in Laughter....lol. So I decided to see who exactly this was. I looked at his picture but I really dint know him. So I decided to write him a message. I just copied his lil messages and the threat and pasted them back to him, then I was like, serious???

The guy got mobb pissed and he wrote back this message telling me how am such a bitch, ati I should continue doing that if it’s what makes me sleep at night. LOL....that really caught me by surprise and it dint end there. I dint reply the 1st msg and then he wrote again and said, "wat kind of maggot are you, nonsense". Again I was surprised but kept quiet. then he sent another message that said" but let me ask if trying to chat with u nicely wud hv hurt u????? bt y r u ladies so ahrd to understnd? all i wanted was a simple chat wth bt u hv turned it into a murder investigation, come on" this one I replied and said "well it you who turned everything into such a big deal..."

He said I should please save him the nonsense and not reply yet I had just written an apologetic msg right before I saw the no nonsense msg so I dint send it.

The following day, I just told him he is such a LOOSER and below is the whole conversation.

Maryam 16 July at 00:46

u r such a LOOSER!

he 16 July at 00:50 Report

yo birth was such a waste of time , please i am going to block u now if u r dnt leave my inbox

Maryam 16 July at 00:55

go ahead break a leg...i pity anybody who ever met you. skunk! block me and be happy. LOOSER!

he 16 July at 02:44 Report

i pity yo mum cz she took 9 months of her life to go to the toilet and shit u out

This was the last of the conversation and i just got tired ...lol. i have lots of things to do so let me let him be since he cant let me be.

The next day i decided to just let it slide and asked him if was possible to make peace. he sent a friend request again then told me that,"
he 17 July at 02:25

i wana chat with u a little cud u accept the request n delete me later on, jst a little"

so i accepted the request and now we r friends...it was that simple ryt from the start but am glad we r friends.

LOLOLOLOLOL, some people are just Blessed! We should say

Great lesson learnt though!

Crossroads

2010-07-09T21:48:00.000+08:00

Life is full of 'crossroads', a word that has been described as a crucial point at which a decision must be made. When in such a dilemma, we are pretty good at denying the fact that we can't make our own decisions at times. In fact, several times! Other times we cover up the lack of solutions with using an easy way out of running away from the problems.

In minor cases, some manage to get away with the wrong decisions they made but somewhere, somehow the wrong done in the past always catches up with today. What you did yesterday is a simple justification of who u r today.

Sometimes making a mistake is inevitable. The good news is we can learn from it and the bad news is, it can haunt us for the rest of future. Am not saying it aint okay to make mistakes, am just saying that make a worthy mistake.

I have a friend who is in a committed relationship despite the ups and downs in it. She always wondered why people cheat in relationships so one day she decided to try it out. She went out there searching but fortunately of should we call it unfortunate, she dint find any one worthy. So her mission daint work.

"On the contrary, there are no crossroads in our lives. If we control the variables in our lives, we choose which road to take hence life becomes a Highway not a crossroad. The world does not control us but we control it..."_K.K

So is your life a highway or are caught up in crossroads? Choose you path.

Try Extra-Ordinary

2010-07-09T10:04:00.000+08:00

There are facts in our lives that are undeniably true but embarrassing to utter. This makes us very sensitive about certain small things in life. I do not know why but when you hear something bad about someone u care about, be it true or false, the little truth to it, is what hurts most. We shut it down in many ways by calling it rumors and on a more sincere side, it is called HUMAN NATURE.

Have u ever looked back in the years and drawn a clear analysis of your life? For many reasons, many of us don't get the time to analyze our lives. In my opinion, this is one of the main causes of sadness in the world. If only you took time off and did things that actually made you happy then you would know more about yourself.

How happy a man is, is not how much he has but how much he needs.

At many stages of life, we are surprised by what we can do once we try it. What am trying to say is, stop doing things according to everyone, just do things according to YOU! Who said a woman should be the cook in her husband's house, who said a man can't plate hair. To become somebody, u need to go out of your way and do something you have never done for extra-ordinary results. Instead of looking to as far as where u will be in the next 10 years, look at where u now and ask yourself, do i wanna be in this same place in the next two ours. Work in minutes and seconds; forget the days and weeks and years. Besides a year starts with just 1 second 12:01:01, the fireworks is out for the New Year celebrants.

Knowing who you are is also very important in life. Many of us don't know who we are. We only stop at what we can and cant do. it is almost impossible to describe yourself in one word because when asked who u r, your name, country of origin etc is what comes to mind 1st. currently, am working on a project of learning more and more about myself. Sometimes its adventure that helps you know yourself. Sometimes you have to get lost in order to find yourself. Each and every in this world is writing their history according to what they do. This is something we can never run away from. So if u wanna be a hero, its high time u started your heroic projects.

Stop saying 'in the future' because, now is the future of yesterday, what have you done??? What will you be remembered for if you died in the next minute??? Do u have enough deeds to keep you in Heaven???

Should I Go Or Should I Stay?

2010-06-08T15:49:00.000+08:00

When the journey started, about 16-17years ago, it was exciting and fun but along the way it brunched off into this pressure of reading books. it seemed to become harder by the year. by the end of primary school, the love for books is still well-secured because many look forward to the life in high school. at that age, we have watched so many high-school movies and that what makes us excited about high-school. We completely dis-consider the fact that those actresses and actors on TV are seniors in the so-called high schools and that its just another 'movie'

Excited to join high school, the shopping, the thought of staying away from home, the joy of beginning a new journey in your life

On day 1, it all seems fun only that you have already been disappointed by the look of the boarding house. Day 2, you start classes and you have a gazillion subjects to attend to, Maths, English, Chemistry, Biology, physics, history, French, German, Arabic, literature, computer science, geography, and many more. Well by the time I joined high school, I had all these and others which i really cant remember. Another disappointment!

You return to your dormitory and find your suitcase open, you locker broken and more than half of you property gone. Another disappointment! That doesn't kill, you still put yourself together and go to class the next day. a few months down the road, now you have made some friends, some of which are seniors so you are protected from being bullied. That’s if you are lucky. If you are not, you might be asked to blow off a florescent tube from around 9pm to 11pm when its time for lights out.

A few years down the road, you are a senior, now it’s your turn to do the bullying. In a few days, high school is over, just when it was coming close to your Gossip Girl Fantasy.

You join university after a very long holiday. And here, you are supposed to act grown up and take good care of yourself because no one is responsible for what you do. You are on your own so you are forced to grow up. you start budgeting you allowance as it comes in monthly, doing your own shopping, cooking ... at one point, you start missing high-school, the noise, the dorms, the friends.

You still go ahead, telling yourself, this will be over soon. In your third year at Uni, you no longer want it to be over. This is the part where reality shoots in. the thought of job hunting, marriage...

you miss being young again but you thank God for where you are because some didn't make it. I don't wish to be young today, because I would do very complicated mathematics. Instead of 2 + 6 = 8, today kids at final Primary Leaving Exams (PLE) are calculating X*6 + 7^2 = X + 8^2, Find X. I don't think it can get any worse. On top of that, the X you are asking me to find is on paper, right there...lol

The bottom line is,

I want it to be over,

But I don't want it to be over.

I want to go,

But I don’t want to go

I miss it,

But I don’t miss it. IT'S COMPLICATED!

Am I alone on this, or does it happen to us all????

Hilarious...

2010-05-30T00:00:00.003+08:00

Kenyatta, Moi and Kibaki were lost in the forest and were captured by cannibals.

The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they pass a trial. The first step of trial was to go to the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So all three men went separate ways to gather fruits.

Kenyatta came back and said to the king, "I brought 10 apples".

The king then explained the trail to him, "you have to shove (swallow) the 10fruits without any expression on your face or you will be eaten".

o The first apple went in …………….

o But on the second one he winced in pain.

o So he was killed.

Moi arrived and showed the king ten berries. When the king explained the trial to him.

o he thought that this should be easy

o 1…....2…..…3…….4…..5……...6.……7…..8…….9

o and on the tenth berry he burst out in laughter and was killed.

Moi and Kenyatta met in heaven and Kenyatta asked Moi, "why did you laugh, you almost got away with it?"

Moi replied, "I couldn't help it, I saw Kibaki coming with pineapples".Have a fruitful day!!!!!

LETTING GO...

2010-05-29T23:49:00.002+08:00

There are people who can walk away from you.
And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk. I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone.

When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.

People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay.

Let them go.

And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead.. You've got to know when it's dead.

You've got to know when it's over. Let me tell you something.. I've got the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye.. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it. Stop begging people to stay.

Let them go!!!

If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to......

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to past hurts and pains ........

LET IT GO!!!

If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth......

LET IT GO!!!

If someone has angered you.

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge.....

LET IT GO!!!

If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction... ..

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents

LET IT GO!!!

If you! u have a bad attitude.... ...

LET IT GO!!!

If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better...... .

LET IT GO!!!

If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new level in Him.......... .

LET IT GO!!!

If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship. ....

LET IT GO!!!

If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves.. ....

LET IT GO!!!

If you're feeling depressed and stressed ............

LET IT GO!!!

If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself and God is saying 'take your hands off of it,' then you need to.......

LET IT GO!!!

'The Battle is the Lord's!'

formspring.me

2010-05-25T03:18:00.001+08:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/sixid

Some people will die POOR only because they have bad manners.

2010-05-22T00:27:00.001+08:00

Seriously guys we took this cab from sunway college, went home then we had to go back and drop our clothes at the dry cleaners so we asked the guy to wait for us. well he agreed, don't know why, but he waited anyway. in less than 5minutes, we were back to the cab and off to the dry cleaners. i was with these two friends of mine. as soon as we reached the dry cleaning place, the guy said he had to pay him 25Ringgit Malaysia. then ma friend asked the guy, how come its 25RM. the guy said "i take you. u keep me waiting. u come with cloth and now you don't want to pay me?" (try to understand the guy's poor english). all of us were shocked. ma friend said, "bro we just asked why it is 25RM, just tell us why." the guy said, "see "F**k y'all, just drop 20RM and go." the guys i was with were offended, one of them said, "why are you using foul language, we dint abuse you, we just asked for a simple explanation." but the guy could not listen. he kept on buzzing more and more. i was amazed by these guys' calmness, they said okay we are sorry boss and gave him the 20RM he suggested. the guy was still buzzing, "take your money....go..u think we have nothing to do...." blah blah blah... i was quiet all this while but was boiling with anger. the last time i checked ma gal almost got thrown out of her house because she said 'f**k' in expression of anger in front of a guard. they didn't let her in for that night just because of that. but here is a guy buzzing the same ... in ma face. well i just waited patiently. i was the last to step down from the cab and before i closed the door, i just said, "you know you are f**ked up old man!" (was too angry to take shit from a cab driver) and just slammed the door shut. he opened his door and said, "excuse me black lady..." i just turned and said, "did u call me a black lady??? at least am beautiful, FOOL" and just walked on. i think he has no hope to become any richer and thats why he is this ignorant. i pity.

I never do such things. this is not me but when am pushed to the limit, sometimes i gatta do what i have to do. the funny thing is the man is old, he is driving a cab thus has nothing to call wealth. they say "when you are young, you use your health to chase your wealth and when you grow old, you use your wealth to chase your health. the only difference is its too late." point is this guys has nothing but he talks garbage. anyways empty tins make the loudest noise. STUMPED.

Its a small world

2010-04-04T20:30:00.000+08:00

This world is just too small and round.
dude, he was playing with me but had my cousin as his fiancée
how embarrassing can that be?. so they will come home to do her introduction
and there he will be promising her heaven on earth. God Forbid. guys get real. if u wanna
play check who the hell u r playing with. if all goes well, i will patiently wait until he comes home for ma cousin, just to see the look on his face. he actually thinks he is a player but he is running the wrong lane. what hurts most is that ma cousin is so into him. he came into her life when she had just broken up with her x-husband. all i can say is i hope he has changed because if he hasn't, she is gonna have a broken heart again and she will come running to me. her husband left her with a baby. God help her. coz sincerely, how much does she have to suffer and for how long. the thing is i know the guy's bad ways but i cant tell her coz she is so crazy abt him. and they say, where there are lovers, dont suggest anything against neither party.
To the guy: yI know u r a F*cker but pls dont F*ck her up, she has had enough.

Choice

2010-03-08T07:56:00.001+08:00

The lyf we live is all about nothing but choices and decisions. it dont matter when, where or how but at all corners of life, there is a choice to be made.

sometimes you have got to choose btn one thing or the other.

sometimes u have got to choose btn me or ma mother. there is nothing to loose so why dont u try it. sometimes we make choices and we forget that the choices we make are to dominate the rest of our lives. sometimes we are given a lot of freedom to choose whatever and due to that, we tend to make wrong choices that kill us in the end.

B4 U DECIDE, LOOK BACK, THEN LOOK FORWARD. Having done that, make your choice and even though it myt have repercussions, they wont be as rough. choices are hard to make but the worst place to be is to stay undecided. you would rather make a wrong choice than wait for others to decide for you. be a critical decision maker and when u make a decision, live and work up to it.

just a feeling i thought i would share.

L.O.V.E...

2010-01-03T07:11:00.000+08:00

I search for u every chance I get, I always long to see yo face.

If I could touch yo lips with mine, The thought of this is so divine.

I want to feel u, touch and kiss, send u into a heavenly bliss,

I want you, need you, love you...

wow

2009-12-17T22:53:00.000+08:00

it feels funny how u can be there thinking of nothing. yet in actual sence u are thinking of something u just dont wanna accept whatever yo thinking. the easiest thing to get away with such thouts is to accept that they are there and then do away with them. its that simple. THE MORE I C, THE LESS I KNOW. thats a fact that pple hardly accept.

The smely cab

2009-11-24T00:13:00.000+08:00

Whoo.. that was some bullshit lol, we got into a cab and friends that cab was stinking. the guy ate food and kept the left-overs at the back of the car....wahhhhhh!!!!

Worse still we were going quite far but trust me if it was to the airport, i will jump out of that cab man!!! the ride to KLIA is just long enough 4 someone to die in such a stinky place.

The funny part is the driver's smelling nerve by now has tilted and he is used to the smell. but it is so un-funny during. After, it becomes funny....hahaha

You just don't smell how bad you smell. The Ice Storm (1997)

Unbelievable nyt, Unbelievable fun ... and then Unbelievable FOOLS!!!

2009-11-20T04:56:00.001+08:00

Had a whole night of fun and friends, wasn't on a tip but the day seems to have been on one. Well, first the Joint closes while we are inside...then down to MOS, its was the sh*t . fux day down and then as we make our way home, me n rita find these full-time IDIOTS. they were driving and one of then got off the car to come and walk with us. he stuck around, few minutes later his buddy got parked the car and came along too. all this while we kept walking and soon we were in front of indah villa. the due held rita and was begging 4 attention and her number. she tries to pull away and he holds on tighter. i tell the second guy that he should talk to his friend to leave ma friend alone. when he lets her go he hold me. begs on and is getting down on his knees and am like that shit dont work on me so dont bother kneeling. soon he was holding on and it looked like he was not abt to let go. i told rita to run and then i threatened to kick him but he dint let go so i decided so i decided to make some noise..."Hey, excuse me, pls help us. we dont know these guys, they followed and now they wont let us go home" some Indian guy saved us and in my view he deserved a peck! lol... THAT WAS SOME RARE SHIT!!! Unbelievable ... these NIGERIAN guys were too desperate and at the same time, relatively ugly to be given a second of your time!!

I dont forget faces when i see them, but for these two, i will make an exception!

fREeDom of SPeeCh

2009-11-15T01:00:00.001+08:00

Today when i look at you, I realise your intentions in my life. u r just here to make my life difficult and this you must know, "i don't like you and i cant stand you. Am only doing it for a person i love and care about" So never forget who u r in my life. u mean nothing to me. u r below me in all ways ranging from looks to brains all the way down to age so if u don't mind there is need 4 u to re-structure your ways in front of me... i don't at all give a 'D' abt you!
JUST THOUGHT U SHOULD KNOW! all the things u do age out of ignorance and u tend to keep going in the path of ignorance. Halla back when u r shot back to reality.

peice of mind: Don't talk in a dream, u will not leave it!

Sometimes...

2009-11-13T03:25:00.000+08:00

Sometimes things go wrong
Sometimes they seem so right
Sometimes we get disappointed
Sometimes we are just too happy
Sometimes we are sad
Sometimes we are excited
Sometimes Sometimes Sometimes....
In the times of grief and sorrow
Try to look forward for the better Day

And PRAY ... everything's gonna be ayt!!!!

Everybody is HUMAN and
everybody is EQUAL so don't listen to nobody
coz everybody is PEOPLE

LOVE needs a psychiatrist

2009-11-09T23:07:00.001+08:00

There are many times in life that you feel like u are running psycho so there is a need to react as soon as possible. well its one of those times that you do not have to wait to be asked to talk that you then start talking. so i guess this is it, i know saying it now wont change much but what am sure of is it will help me up. I put everything in, i gave it my all, i tried my best but i guess its just not on the right. there were are few blunders like the way life is meant to be but my willingness to make things right is the opposite of your wish. at times it makes me feel we aint equal or maybe i have some thing not right. well if u have found a better person then there is no way i can convince you to take me back. love is not about convincing, its a give n take thing so if we were meant to be or maybe we just happened then i guess this is the part where we look further into the future in search of any traces of hope. I SEE A FEW but they have conditions on them so fulfilling the conditions is what am trying to do here, really hopping it works but if it doesn't then i have got to find my square root. Probably u deserve more than what i can give and i bet i just dint try hard enough...will miss u!

You're driving me crazy and if i let you i WILL run mad!

Life is Basic

2009-11-06T01:18:00.002+08:00

life is very simple but the human race tends to make it complicated as we go on. it was predicted that 2000 was going to be the end of the world and sure nothing went down on 01-01-2000 and now here we are again and the prediction is 2012. God Bless the bringers of the idea but HE sure knows what HE is doing so maybe we should leave it to HIM. if seeing is believing then this is it. what u are seeing right now is what u have and besides life is only therapy, real expensive and no guarantees. so try leaving for today rather than what is coming up in the future. That aint true in religion...seeing aint believing. whatever u wanna do u gatta do it today coz u may not make it to tomorrow...
i love u'll!!!