Call My Agent!

If a writer writes in a social media vacuum, are they really writing?

noreply@blogger.com (Agent Sydney) — Mon, 25 Aug 2014 00:27:00 +0000

Trying to research possible agents, and finding numerous quotations about how they always google prospective clients, and almost certainly pass if there is no web presence. Googling my (fairly uncommon) name brings up a number of people, many of whom are apparently authors, and at least one is dead. Some time ago I tried to get myself interviewed (one success) and also wrote a short piece for an e-magazine, then painstakingly answered each person who commented, which took me an entire evening. Neither activity translated into any sales whatsoever.

I have read articles insisting that I should be out there blogging, twittering, building a "platform" (hope not to fall through it!) and generally jumping through hoops to connect with … somebody? I have read other articles saying that unless you really enjoy this activity for its own sake, have something to say that people will find useful, or have a lot of spare time, you're better off just continuing to write. All caution that you shouldn't actively try to "sell" your book(s).

I am feeling more and more dejected about this, especially as writing – the important stuff! - happens only when I can snatch a few illicit moments (recipe for FRUSTRATION). And what on earth should I blog about anyway? As a writer of fantasy (often romantic), I feel people are not going to flock to buy books by someone who cannot comment on her working day (would get me the sack immediately); doesn't want to put her private life out there (every year the police give schoolchildren the serious warning which they possibly ignore but I take to heart); does write for a site about nervous horse riders (a huge attraction for every fantasy reader, I'm sure); and can't provide a useful service for readers (how to give intramuscular injections to livestock? where to buy beading supplies in a small country town?).

You see my problem (and at this point may be rolling your eyes and sighing). The nitty gritty: is this trend as widespread as it appears to be? Do writers now have to be accomplished business people and publicists to get anywhere? I don't expect my mechanic to do plumbing as well, nor do I rush to read all about what my favourite authors are doing (OK, most of them are dead too), but am I just a dinosaur who should get real?

You've raised some important points - which is why I've published the entirety of what you sent - and these are points that trouble a lot of writers.

From my point of view, whether or not I take on a writer always depends on whether or not they can write - and the writing I'm interested in is the manuscript they've submitted. If they have a web or social media presence, that's nice but not essential - social media profiles/presences can be built, but great writing is hard to find. There's also the fact that you can pay someone to build and manage a social media profile for you but you still need to be able to deliver a great manuscript, and it's harder to get paid help for that.

Managing a social media presence can also take up a lot of time, and it's disruptive of attention - you can flit in and out of Twitter but that doesn't help you sustain concentration as you try to write your novel. In fact, it can make it increasingly harder to concentrate as you 'lose the habit' of writing fiction in favour of developing the habit of tweeting. For that reason, too, I'm not that fussed about authors having a social media presence before I take them on.

We also have no data to prove that social media presence leads to increased book sales for any author who does not get a contract because of their social media presence - that is, if you're an author who has become famous for your blog, we can expect that your blog will play a large part in the promotion of your book, but if you're an author who has written a great novel, is having a blog going to help all that much? We just don't know. So I'm loath to tell authors to spend a lot of time blogging when it could be disruptive of their attention and consume a lot of their time without any discernible benefit to their writing career.

Of course, we may get data soon - and if it's demonstrated that social media is important to some or all all types of writers, then those types of writers will need to engage with it. But if we do get that proof that social media is so important in the promotion of the book, that's actually something the publisher should provide a lot of assistance with - to the point of undertaking to do all the social media for authors who simply aren't great at it. And some aren't - their Twitter voice isn't engaging, or all they do is implore people to buy their books. Those authors should stay away from social media - but if they absolutely need to have a social media presence, the publisher should help them with it rather than let them hoist themselves on their own petard.

And here is where we start to look at the suite of services publishers can offer writers - and at whether or not 'new contracts' should start to accommodate them. If one author is great at social media and can handle everything themselves, should they receive the same royalty as someone who needs a publicist to do it all? It's entirely plausible that the social-media-adept author might start to think there should be some allowance made for what is, in effect, an extra skill that they're bringing to the publishing contract. And what happens if that particular author has to choose between publishers - one publisher offering them a slightly higher royalty rate in recognition of this skill, and the other not? Will this start to become a factor in the author's decision making? Perhaps not. But perhaps it will.

In the meantime, though, my advice would be to focus on your writing. I'm sure I'm not the only agent in the world who is more interested in how an author writes their manuscript than how they write their tweets.

Honesty is such a lonely word

noreply@blogger.com (Agent Sydney) — Wed, 20 Aug 2014 23:14:00 +0000

I recently had a rejection which stated they thought my story would find a home somewhere, but that I should not have said in my query that a previously published e-book had not sold many copies (I gave a few reasons, including my lack of time promoting plus maybe people just didn't like it) though it was a finalist for an award. I thought it was better to be honest up-front: after all, can't they easily check that it had a poor sales record? I had read somewhere that lack of sales could be off-putting for future publishers, but I didn't want to pretend that it had sold well. What is your advice?

There is currently no way - for Australian publishers, at least - to know how many copies of an ebook have been sold. BookScan is the technology used to track print book sales, but as yet ebooks are not part of BookScan. And it may take some time for there to be accurate reporting of ebook sales anyway, as the retailers who currently have to report ebook sales - e.g. Apple and Google - are mostly not booksellers at their core, so they aren't as attuned to the rhythms of publishing as a bookseller would be.

However, you're under no obligation to say how many copies of any of your books have sold, in print or digital. While it's admirable that you want to be honest about your sales record, almost every author starts her or his career with small sales and no publisher is going to expect that you've sold a tonne - otherwise they'd have heard about it already. And if they really want to know how many books you've sold, they can ask you.

The other point in your question is that you mentioned in the query that you hadn't had much time to promote the book, as well as giving other reasons. Well, don't do that again - you have no way of knowing why your books do and don't sell, and neither does the publishing industry (if we knew, we'd patent it). So don't make excuses, don't give reasons which may or may not be true. The salient points are that you have written and you have published, so you already have experience. State your experience; state what your current project is. Be proud of the fact that you have both. That's it.

Arbitrary word counts and the end of Western civilisation*

noreply@blogger.com (Agent Sydney) — Fri, 15 Aug 2014 05:15:00 +0000

I have completed a novel manuscript that is on the shorter side at 66 000 words. Initially I contemplated approaching agents and publishers who work with Young Adult titles, as it does have a teenage protagonist, but after sending it to a few writerly friends and colleagues (I'm an English teacher) for feedback, I was told what I think I already knew deep down: it's not really a YA novel. This leaves me in a bit of a dilemma when it comes to the length. From all that I have read online, agents are reluctant to take on books this short, especially if they aren't literary fiction and are coming from a first-time author. But I've also read that nobody wants to read filler scenes and you shouldn't bulk out a work more than is necessary to tell the story. Do you think it would be wise to try to add 10-15 000 words, to start sending queries about the manuscript at its current length, or is there something else I should consider? Or should I put this one away to gather dust with my first few (terrible) novels and focus on the next one?

Sixty-six thousand words isn't short for grown-ups' fiction; it's just fine. (At least, for Australia - I don't know which country you're in.) I don't know which websites you've been reading that say it isn't, but it wasn't this website ...

'Ideal' word counts exist largely because of the costing of the book: the publisher has to buy a certain amount of paper to produce a book that will turn out to be X pages in length; they want to charge $Y for that book and the cost of paper therefore affects their margin on the book, which is likely to be very slim, because most of them are. Your word count is within the range of what's acceptable for 'general fiction' - a publisher could make their costing work on that. (It's slightly larger than most YA titles, though, in case you're curious.) The only genre where it might be problematic is fantasy, where readers expect the books to be about double that length.

Ultimately, though, you have to write the story and just let the word count sort itself out. If the story feels like it's too fat, trim it; if it could use more scenes, add them. But just let the story determine what it needs and work from there.

*This last bit was added for dramatic effect.

Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're after you

noreply@blogger.com (Agent Sydney) — Fri, 15 Aug 2014 05:06:00 +0000

I'm a Melbourne writer. I'm lucky enough to have a literary agent, and I have two completed mss to sell. My agent has been submitting them and both of us are learning just how tight the fiction market is at the moment. Where the first one almost got across the line with a couple of the conventional large publishers, the second one (which she thought would be a dead cert) also is struggling. My agent says my work is of a very high standard, she is an experienced reader and editor, and is selling her other clients' work, so I'm wondering if something else might be sabotaging the submissions.

1. My age? (I'm over 45 and it's a first novel situation. I've been published in lit journals etc but no book-length works published and no high profile/celebrity/'amazing personal story' for PR).

2. I wrote a couple of reviews on my blog in which I said I didn't love certain Australian books; have I been *blacklisted*. Does such a thing happen?

I've asked my agent and she said she doesn't believe either of these things are relevant, that it would all be about the work in the view of publishers, that's all they look for. But really, can that be true? Don't publishers want as many positives as possible to try to sell more books, market etc.

Perhaps it really is just such a bad time.

I'll forgive you for being from Melbourne. Now let's move on ...

1. Your age is irrelevant. There appears to be a belief held amongst some unpublished writers that publishers (and agents) are madly judging all writers based on their age, but they're not. And if they were, that would be silly because most readers - especially those who actually buy books - are not twenty-five, ifyouknowwhatImean. There is no 'right age' to start out and if younger novelists were preferred, why do we need a whole literary award dedicated to them (the Vogel's)?

2. If there is a blacklist, let me know where it is. Because I'm probably on it and so is everyone else in the industry - we all have books we don't like and most of us aren't shy about our opinions. If everyone only liked the same few books, we wouldn't have so many books published each year.

You haven't said what type of fiction you write - and that detail is important. Chick lit is, apparently, 'dead' - that is the term one publisher used when speaking to me recently. So times are tough for chick lit writers. Crime fiction is always hard, mainly because publishers believe it is - but that's a much bigger topic ... And 'literary fiction' (definition still elusive) is always hard.

In general, though, sometimes you just don't find the right publisher at the time when your novel is being submitted. Timing is so important: the right publisher needs to be in the right publishing house at the right time with the right sales and marketing support. And, yes, it really all does come down to the work. The bells and whistles are great but they're no substitute for the work. Bells and whistles we can help with; the wriiting, we can't.

So your time may not be now; it may be next year or it may be several years off yet. If your work is good (and your agent thinks it is, so that's a clue), have faith in yourself - and, most importantly, keep writing, because maybe it's your next manuscript that will break through. Then you'll have the current manuscript available just in case the publisher wants another one ...

It's not you, it's me. Okay, it's you

noreply@blogger.com (Agent Sydney) — Tue, 29 Jul 2014 02:18:00 +0000

I do actually have an agent, who took me on nearly five years ago based on producer interest in a film project of mine. Nothing came of it, or other projects that followed, so the agent prepared a lot of contracts for no income. True, they were riddled with typos and missing clauses, but I didn’t feel like I was in any position to complain.

I’m not sure the agent is the biggest fan of my writing, either, based on the fact that some of my scripts elicited no response at all when I submitted them for feedback, and I think they only sent one to any producers (who did end up optioning it).

Then, last year, I was commissioned (not as a result of any agent involvement) to develop a TV series, generating enough commission to compensate (I think) for that earlier unpaid work. Karmic balance and all that.

Relations were cordial. Until the agent forwarded me a contract to sign, saying it looked “fine”, even though it was 18 pages long and the agent had received it literally 10 minutes earlier. I found some unfavourable terms in there that had to be renegotiated.

So. Is switching agents frowned upon in Australia? Would I be assumed to be a high-maintenance client, best ignored? Am I expecting too much?

Switching agents isn't exactly applauded (in any country) but it's not verboten either - it's a business decision, and you have to do what's right for your business. There are a handful of things which suggest that your existing agent perhaps isn't right for your business:

1. The contracts riddled with typos and missing clauses. Typos are one thing - I've seen contracts from publishing companies and film studios with typos, and I've also made typos in my own contracts - they happen to everyone. But missing clauses are another - the intent of a contract can still be clear if there typos but that's harder to say if there are missing clauses. As for preparing contracts for no return - well, that's the risk film agents take. Literary agents do a lot of work on manuscripts and that's the risk we take.

2. Not appropriately reviewing the latest contract. It may not take the agent long to look at contracts - those of us who have seen a lot of them tend to hone in on particular clauses and, therefore, don't give the same scrutiny to all clauses (e.g. the 'governing law' clause doesn't get reviewed as closely as the 'subsidiary rights' clause). But in light of your earlier experience with missing clauses, it's not great - especially as you picked up on those unfavourable clauses.

3. Lack of engagement with your writing. Even if your agent is primarily a deal-making type of agent - and each agent is different - writers still want to feel as though their work is appreciated by their agent or, at the very least, that the agent is paying attention. I don't always give my clients a gold star - sometimes they're asked (nicely, of course) to do an amount of work or even to start again. And when I say 'asked', I mean I make a suggestion, not give a directive. So they may not like what I have to say, but they do know that I'm paying attention. Most agents pay attention to the work - the work, after all, is the reason for the agent-client relationship to exist. If your agent was doing everything else right apart from paying closer attention to your work, perhaps you'd be prepared to overlook that omission. But in light of everything else, it all seems to add up to a situation where you don't feel as though you have an agent who is as supportive of you as she or he could be.

In short: you're not expecting too much to want to have your contracts scrutinised or to have attention paid to your work. These are standard services to expect from your agent. But I would suggest that you give the agent a chance to either redeem or explain him- or herself, just because you do have a relationship and it's good to end things nicely, if they're going to end. Ask a direct question: 'It's been good to work with you but I have the feeling that you're not wild about my writing - is that the case? I haven't ever received feedback from you when I've sent scripts to you.' The agent may say that they do love your writing but don't personally feel qualified to give feedback - they just might not have wanted to admit that to you. You may still think that they're not properly supportive anyway, in which case you need to leave. If, however, you think there's hope there, perhaps you want to try to work out the contract-reviewing issues. If you don't, though, it's quite okay to change. Just make it clear it's a business decision - you're not the right client-agent fit. Wish them well, if only because you want them to wish you well. Also because they may turn up at the next agency you go to ...

Appraise to appease?

noreply@blogger.com (Agent Sydney) — Mon, 28 Jul 2014 04:44:00 +0000

I have written a fantasy, and I want it to be a series. I had sent it for appraisal and the response has been rather good, regarding plot structure, conflict, description and character. Negatives were punctuation, alignment and grammar at some places, along with suggestions to 'plump up and explore' the events. I am working on incorporating the suggestions. I have two questions here.

1) I have heard that sending the appraisal along with the manuscript helps. However, my appraisal has the negatives. So should I send this appraisal while sending the draft to the agent? Should I get a re-appraisal done after corrections? Or should I just mention that it has been reviewed by a professional agency? I am afraid that the negatives in the appraisal, however minimum, will create a bad impression.

2) Since the negatives are mostly about punctuation, I reckon it can addressed by help of a copy editor. But most people suggest copy editing after appraisal. If you suggest re-appraisal, should I copy-edit it before sending it the second time?

Well, I can save you the trouble of sending your appraisal (also known as a 'manuscript assessment' in these here parts) as part of your submission: the agents and publishers I know don't pay any attention to them.

Appraisals/assessments are meant to be a useful tool to help a writer work out what needs to be done to their manuscript before it's sent to an agent or publisher. It's not a tool for the agent or publisher, though, and consequently they won't pay much, or any, attention to it. We've also all been burnt by the number of appraisals we've seen that say, 'This book should be published!!!!!!' even though it's clear that the accompanying manuscript is nowhere near publishable standard. But the fundamental reason why we don't need to read the appraisal is this: we do our own appraising. I don't care what someone else's opinion of your manuscript is - I want to establish my own opinion. Sending someone else's opinion just makes it look as though you're worried about what my opinion will be - and that means at some subterranean level of your consciousness you're worried your work isn't up to scratch. So get it up to scratch and then send it to an agent or publisher who will make up their own mind.

In this case: it sounds as though the appraisal you had done has actually been beneficial in pointing out some work you need to do. Unless the punctuation errors are egregious, don't worry too much about them. We all make errors. If your writing is otherwise great, we can overlook them. But if those errors are sufficient to make me not be able to read your writing the way you intend, you should fix them.

Regarding freelance editors: they are an increasingly popular option for writers and for good reason, as they look only at whether or not your manuscript is working and they won't offer an assessment of whether or not it's publishable. They're not affordable for everyone, though, in which case a manuscript assessment service could be useful.

As I'm often asked to recommend editors, this is as far as I'll go: http://www.fen.net.au/ - the editors I know in this network are excellent but I'm not going to single out just one!

From the deepest recesses of the bottom drawer

noreply@blogger.com (Agent Sydney) — Mon, 14 Apr 2014 22:42:00 +0000

When querying, should I mention the three other never-to-see-the-light-of-day manuscripts I've written or not? I feel their existence shows I've been working hard on my writing for some time, but they're not published (nor should they ever be). Also, if I do mention them, what should I call them? Unpublished novels? Blackmail material?

First of all: well done on completing three full-length manuscripts before writing the one you intend to submit. Consider them your apprenticeship. Also evidence of your patience. So, yes, for those reasons you should mention them - and you can do it in a humorous way (as your suggestion of 'blackmail material' indicates that you have a sense of humour) or any way you like. I personally like a touch of humour in a submission letter, done appropriately.

However, you can also just say that you have three manuscripts tucked away in a bottom drawer (hint: this is what you can call then - 'bottom drawer' being a phrase that publishing types like to use) that you never intend to submit to anyone - just to allay an agent/publisher's fear that you're about to send him or her three extra manuscripts - and that you feel that the one you're submitting is the beneficiary of everything you've learned on the previous three. Because that will probably be the truth. And agents/publishers do like to see evidence that a writer hasn't just finished the first draft of a first novel and sent it off that very same day.

Having said all that, if you don't mention them it's not going to affect your chances of being taken seriously. We always read the submission that's before it on its merits, regardless of what's come before. So go forth, submit and good luck.

Stuck in the middle

noreply@blogger.com (Agent Sydney) — Tue, 11 Mar 2014 01:12:00 +0000

I haven't had much luck with Australian agents -- apparently Aussie consumers and agents aren't keen on middle grade fiction -- but I have an American agent who is interested.

The contract says she'll have my manuscripts for two years. Is this a fair time frame, or should I be asking her to work on a manuscript by manuscript basis? Are there different ways agents work?

It isn't surprising that you have struggled to find an agent for middle grade fiction: children's books are a tough proposition for most agents to take on. The advances are usually very small compared with grown-ups' books but the amount of work is the same, so a lot of agents - especially those who don't have a particular passion for children's books - won't take on children's authors. And middle grade fiction is actually the toughest kind of children's book to represent - publishers want it but often can't say exactly what they want, as everyone is trying to guess what kids will like next, so for an agent submitting a middle grade novel or series, the risk of not finding a publisher and simultaneously disappointing the author is high. And like all forms of gambling, in publishing we have to spread our risk.

So: congratulations to you on finding an American agent. The USA is a far bigger market - many more children, for one thing, and therefore many more types of books they like to read and which can, therefore, be published. You say that she'll have your manuscripts for two years but don't say what this actually means - that she will represent you for two years only? That she'll give two years to the one manuscript she takes you on for but in that time you can't send her anything else?

It sounds as though this agent is saying she'll work with you for two years but if she hasn't found you a publisher in the meantime, then you'll part ways - and that doesn't sound unreasonable. She's managing your expectations upfront and she is also giving you both an 'out' clause if it doesn't work. And if it does work, she'll probably want to keep working with you, as will you with her.

Two years is a reasonable amount of time for her to have in order to find you a publisher. There are so many publishers in the US that it can take some time to submit to them all, especially if some expect an exclusive. If she is an experienced agent, then she would believe that two years is what she needs to give the manuscript the best shot - bearing in mind that it can take a long time, and sometimes it's the last publisher, the one you least expect, who makes an offer.

Most agents don't like to work on a manuscript-by-manuscript basis as if we love an author's writing and want to work with them, we just want to work with them - we don't want them to think that they'll have to start over for the next book, and nor do we want to do that. It would be inefficient to go on a per-manuscript basis.

But, still, I come back to the fact that I'm not quite sure what the terms of this agreement you mention might be ... so hopefully I've answered your question. If not, please be in touch.

Contracts and nothing but contracts

noreply@blogger.com (Agent Sydney) — Tue, 11 Mar 2014 01:00:00 +0000

Do literary agents look at just one book contract without the author having to sign up with them, a one-off deal? I'm asking because an author may have a contract but want someone to look over it, etc? Do you know if literary agents do this?

Yes, they do - at least, Australian agents do. I can't/won't/don't enough to speak for agents from other lands.

Most agents receive the occasional request to look over a contract and, if we have the time, we will do it. Some agents will want to take on the author as a client but some - including me - don't do that even if the author asks. If an author already has a contract then I tend to believe they're past the point of me being able to do much for them - the existence of a contract signifies that the negotiation of advances and so on is over, so my usefulness extends to reading and negotiating the contract. I also don't like to take on clients unless I believe in their writing - the fact that they have a contract is not enough. But that's me.

The only way to find out if an agent will look at the contract as a discrete action is to ask them - just don't ask all of them at once. Pick one and ask; it's a quick answer for an agent to give so you should hear back within a couple of days at most. If you don't hear back, move on to the next agent.

When agents give contract feedback as a one-off activity, they usually do not also negotiate that contract with the publisher - that responsibility falls to the author. But if you'd rather have the agent also negotiate the contract, you should raise that at the same time as you ask them to look at the contract.

Doubling up

noreply@blogger.com (Agent Sydney) — Mon, 10 Feb 2014 01:16:00 +0000

Whilst searching today for unsolicited manuscript opportunities for this year, I found a children’s picture book that has many similarities to mine! [NB: the author sent examples of the similarities between the two books but because question-askers are anonymous here, I've removed them.]

I wrote and reviewed and rewrote and re-reviewed my book throughout 2012, and submitted it to a publisher January 2013 (not lucky, obviously – possibly due to that very same query letter that lacked finesse). Apparently the other author was working on this book for four years prior to her publication.

My question is… is my book now dead on the vine – did I get pipped at the post? The books are of course different, but outstandingly share those close similarities of wording and essence. Can I even submit my book to publishers now or could it become a copyright or plagiarism issue? I wrote my book independently for over a year before the other book was published (and the only way I could in any way really prove this - your blog with my query letter competition submission)

I guess this would be a situation of ‘great minds thinking alike’ rather than thieving. Or, on the other hand, if I were to pursue the publishing of my book could I then use the other book as an example of similar books already published, since publishers seem to like a writer to mention these in their submission? Perhaps I just have to do a whole rewrite so we’re not using those same phrases – ouch!

I feel really devastated right now that I put so much work into my story, and my query letter, finally ready to make my second attempt at the publisher juggernaut and it might all be for naught. Do I still have a chance? And if I do have a chance how would I, or do I have to, explain this situation to potential publishers? Where can I go from here? In your own words “…you might find you are wasting your time if there is a similar book out there”. Also, even by putting ‘Copyright (year date)’’ on work, how can a writer protect their unpublished writing ideas from others if we enter competitions and make submissions when we need people to read them?

In the world of picture books for children, the similarities you mentioned between your manuscript and the published book are not unprecedented. I've seen many a picture book in my time and there are definitely themes that emerge, and limited ways to explore those themes. If you believe the popular maxim that there are 'only seven stories in fiction' and then apply it children's picture books, you start to see where the doubling up - or quadrupling etc - can happen. Especially when books involve counting, as yours does, there is a risk that someone else will get there first.

If you submit your project now, you won't be considered a plagiarist, for the reason mentioned above, but it could be that picture book editors and publishers think that your project is too similar - at least, for now. Because in the nature of there being not a lot of originality in themes and subject matters, everything 'comes around' (or everything old is new again - you get the picture) and the time for your project may be in a year's time.

You also shouldn't suspect any dodgy behaviour from the other writer, again for the reason mentioned in my first paragraph.You don't know at what point that book was contracted - the author said she was working on it for four years, and they could have been four contracted years, which means she had a publisher well before you sent out your submission.

So: dust yourself off, accept that these things happen (and they really do, with all sorts of books - sometimes books with the exact same title are published very close together, and it's a complete fluke) and make your own submission the very best it can be so that your project is irresistible. Once you send it out or submit it to competitions, copyright law is your only protection - but, honestly, instances of ideas and/or text being 'borrowed' are so rare. People in the publishing industry are generally very much in favour of copyright, and they're also in favour of keeping their reputations intact, so they're not likely to do anything that jeopardises that. There is always a risk, whenever you write anything and release it to anyone other than yourself - for example. how do I know the content of this blog isn't being replicated wholesale by someone else? You can choose whether or not to accept that risk, but in your case it sounds as though the other publication was a coincidence - and you should definitely try to submit again. Just leave it a little while.

Seriously, now, don't do these things

noreply@blogger.com (Agent Sydney) — Fri, 29 Nov 2013 03:41:00 +0000

There is a lot of information 'out there' for writers, including this here website. Lots of dos, lots of don'ts, lots of advice in general. Still, though - STILL! - the same errors crop up in submissions over and over again. So here's a short list - a reminder, if you will - of what not to do.

1. Do not send out your manuscript if it's still at first-draft stage - there will always be room to improve after that, and you need to send out the best possible version of your work.

2. Do not send out your manuscript if you know, in your gut (or your heart - whichever you prefer), that it isn't ready, even if it's had several drafts. You only have one chance to submit to agents and publishers - once you've been rejected, it is highly unlikely that the same manuscript will be looked at again. And, deep down, you know when it's still not ready - you're just trying to talk yourself out of it.

3. Do not send your submission to someone who isn't interested in the genre or category of book you're writing. Children's authors, you're the big culprits here - many of you send submissions to agents and publishers who don't represent or publish children's books.

4. Do not ignore the submission guidelines - they're arbitrary, yes, but they're our attempt to create order out of chaos.

That's my short Friday afternoon list. If you want some more pointers, play this game.

An invitation to the dance

noreply@blogger.com (Agent Sydney) — Thu, 31 Oct 2013 23:37:00 +0000

Some months ago I received a rejection that I thought was a bit nicer than the average bland "does not fit …". Recently I re-read it. The publishers stated that if I "significantly revised" the manuscript I was welcome to re-submit it after six months, and that they hoped I would consider them for my next project. My question is, does this actually mean anything or is it just a polite formula, as I first understood it. And if they are suggesting I revise it, how do I know what they would like me to change (if I can)? Would it be acceptable to ask them this question, especially as there has been a time interval of a few months? (They may have totally forgotten what the manuscript was all about!)

When I reject things I certainly don't invite people to resubmit unless I mean it - for one thing, I'm not so desperate for people to like me that I'll give writers hope that one day I may reconsider my rejection of them if only they'd comply with my mysteriously absent feedback on their manuscript ...

So this publisher meant it. And they also meant they'd like to see what you write next (I make the same offer on occasion and I always mean it, but I certainly don't say it to everyone).

However, just because they asked you to revise the manuscript doesn't mean that they'll give you any pointers on how to do that. The main reason for this is that it can several hours to write a manuscript report and there's no guarantee that the writer will take any of it into account when writing the next draft. No one at a publishing company, or agency, has time for that. So this publisher likely hopes that you have your own methods of working out what to revise. Time is a good method (I'm being serious) - leaving a draft alone for a while can make it so much clearer when you return to it, and sometimes that bit of distance is all the writer needs in order to assess what should be changed. Some writers seek advice from other writers or from editors.

By all means contact them and say that you're willing to revise but you'd really appreciate any guidance they can give - just don't be surprised if they don't give it, for the reasons mentioned above. And also consider leaving this manuscript alone for quite a while as you get on with that next manuscript they have already said they'd like to see.

Living in a fantasy world

noreply@blogger.com (Agent Sydney) — Thu, 12 Sep 2013 07:33:00 +0000

I know you don't rep fantasy but I was wondering whether you knew the answer to this through your colleagues and general involvement in the publishing business.

On the majority of the agent and publishing blogs and information sites, the word is that you won't get a look in with an agent or a publisher with a fantasy novel longer than about 100K words, maybe stretching to 120K at most. It's been a pretty consistent message for the last few years; query review websites will say agents won't even read pages if they see a word count greater than 120K.

The thing is, I can't remember the last time I've picked up a fantasy book that wasn't at LEAST 150K. I scanned my bookshelf and can't find more than a handful that would be close to 120K. Virtually every big name in fantasy puts out books much, much longer than that, and this is true of NEW big names too, not just established authors. And as a reader, I strongly prefer longer fantasy books, as does every other fantasy reader I know. So if no-one is getting agents or publishers with long books, where are all the skinny little fantasy novels that should be coming out?

Anyway, I wondered if my viewpoint is skewed because I do read a lot of Australian fantasy but most of the blogs are American. Do you know if the Australian publishing environment also reflects this new(ish) rule about length? And if it really is a rule, even here, do you think there's a chance it will change as ebooks take a greater market share, and length doesn't cost publishers anything?

That seemed a bit long and rambly in hindsight. Anyway, would love your viewpoint if you have the time and/or inclination!

Who says I don't rep fantasy? Maybe I just want you to think I don't rep fantasy ...

I'll start this answer near the end of your question: you read a lot of Australian fantasy but most of the blogs you read are American. Australian fantasy novels are usually as long as the story takes - I've never heard of a word limit being imposed on submissions, either by an agent or by an author. Some word counts are a bit outrageous - we don't want anything that is 500 000 words in a single volume - but most writers don't come up with such word counts anyway.

However, there is another issue with Australian fantasy: we're running out of places to publish it, at least in 'legacy' (i.e. print) mode. There are two large publishing companies who handle fantasy manuscripts - Hachette (who publish the Orbit imprint) and HarperCollins (Voyager). When the Borders and Angus & Robertson stores closed, they lost a large chunk of their fantasy booksellers. Consequently, they are not looking for as much fantasy as they used to, especially as they have existing authors who are writing trilogies or who may have new novels to bring to them soon.

What this means for Australian fantasy authors is that they may well have to submit overseas first or at least simultaneously - which means they'll come up against the word count limit, if it exists. I'm not an expert on the US market so I don't know if that limit is, in fact, real. If it is real, though, it may change - and you'll be able to thank George RR Martin for that. Those books are big. The sales of those books are big. They may change publishers' minds about big fantasy books (and yes, yes, I know, they're not 'fantasy' like some books are 'fantasy' but you can bet that publishers think they're 'fantasy' and that's all that matters when it comes to submissions).

If you wish to submit to US agents who rep fantasy, I recommend you check their submission guidelines as a first measure to see if they mention a word count limit. If they do not, you can presume that there isn't one - or, at least, an arbitrary one. That doesn't mean you can write 200 000 words just for the hell of it - your story has to work. If your story works and it takes 200 000 words to tell it, then so be it: that's as long as it takes. If an agent wants to take it on but they think publishers will say it's too long, they'll work with you to trim it down. But don't worry about it until then unless they do mention a limit.

Also: someone should start an Australian fantasy publishing house! Except for that pesky bookseller problem, there's a market there for those stories. Due to that pesky bookseller problem, however, that market is probably going to be digital from now on.

A note on submission etiquette and multiple agents

noreply@blogger.com (Agent Sydney) — Fri, 09 Aug 2013 00:50:00 +0000

So you've sent out your submission to a few agents and more than one has asked to see a full manuscript or they have otherwise indicated that they're interested in your work. This is, obviously, a Very Nice Position to be in.

Then one of the agents who has progressed to this next stage offers representation. Obviously, that's great because representation is what you wanted. But that doesn't mean you should accept the offer without telling the other agent/s who is/are considering your work. The polite thing to do - and, as I've mentioned before, publishing is a polite industry - is to let the other agent/s know that you've been offered representation and ask them to let you know within a certain time frame if they're interested in doing the same. Keep the time frame short, like a week.

There are a few other reasons why it's wise to do this:

1. It is the professional thing to do. If you were interested in buying a house and you'd looked at it a few times and had inspections done and talked to the real estate agent and mulled over the price you wanted to offer and talked to people about it, wouldn't you be somewhat annoyed if the agent then called you and said the house had been sold to someone else without giving you the chance to even make an offer? Wouldn't you think the sellers were a bit silly because maybe your offer would have been better than they one they accepted? Wouldn't you be upset about the time you'd wasted when you could have been looking at other houses?

2. Karma. If you behave unprofessionally right from this very first stage it can really screw up your karma for the book (I'm serious about this - I've seen it happen).

3. How do you know you went with the right agent? By not giving another interested agent a chance to talk to you about your work and to offer to represent it, how do you know you're with the right agent for you? The agent–author relationship can last for years and, as with any such business relationship, there are several elements to making it work. It needs to be the right fit. So if you have the chance of auditioning a few suitors before making a selection, why wouldn't you?

4. If you do this, and other authors do this, agents may become more wary about submissions. It's hard enough now for agents to keep up with submissions. If enough authors do the ol' 'I've gone with someone else, sucker' routine, we may just abandon them altogether and get our weekends back. So, as a civic service to your fellow writers, please remember that your behaviour reflects on all of them. Because until we get to you know, you're one amorphous pack - just as agents clearly are to you, which is why you went with the first one to materialise as a real person.

Asking for a second date

noreply@blogger.com (Agent Sydney) — Mon, 05 Aug 2013 05:54:00 +0000

So, it's been a while. I have been running this blog since 2007 and I've never really had time for it but try to make time because I realise that there are questions that writers have about all sorts of things to do with the publishing process. I do appreciate those of you who have been reading this blog, some of you regularly, but confess that the odd vicious commenter does make me wonder why I bother. On the interwebs everyone can hear you scream, or something like that. And while Agent Sydney is a persona, there is an actual person writing these posts. Thus, I took a break. I still don't really have time to write the blog, but there has been the odd question to answer. Finally, here's an answer to one of them.

I have a query regarding resubmitting the same book to a literary agent. Once a book has been submitted it doesn't necessarily mean it stops changing, often it is revised and revised as we make improvements. Maybe the query letter wasn't up to scratch. Or the synopsis didn't reflect the scope and variety of your novel. Or the first few chapters were the first you wrote and required major revision that you couldn't see yourself at the time until someone pointed it out.

Is it wrong to resubmit your novel again to the same agent? If not how long should you wait? And should you mention it has been submitted before?

The term 'wrong' is a bit loaded ... 'Unwise' is probably better. You can certainly submit the novel again to the same agent, but it's likely that the agent will remember or be able to check and that they'll automatically reject you again. You won't ever necessarily know why they rejected you the first time - it's not always because of the query letter, or the story. Sometimes the agent is really not the right agent for the novel.

There are some manuscripts that I'll never take on no matter how well written they are and how good the query letter is - anything about a serial killer who attacks children, for example, or a book about snakes, because I'm never going to love snakes. I would simply not be the right agent for such a book, but there may well be an agent out there who is. Unfortunately we don't usually have time to personalise our rejection letters so we don't have the opportunity to be explicit about the reasons why we said 'no', which does mean that writers may think that they can submit the same project a second time and receive a different answer. When an author has asked to resubmit, though, I've never changed my mind. And if they don't tell me it's a resubmission I usually remember the author or the story anyway and remember why I said 'no' the first time. It's the same with publishers: I can't resubmit something to them if they've already said 'no', even if the author has made changes. Because the reasons why the publisher said 'no' to my client would be as hard to define as the reasons why I said 'yes'.

All of this points to the necessity of making sure your novel/manuscript and your query letter are as good as they can possibly before you start submitting anywhere. You need to believe and act as though you only have one chance. Because, most of the time, you do. You may, of course, be the exception and get another opportunity, and if you're set on attempting that I'd suggest that you mention the earlier submission in your letter and state very clearly why you believe your novel should be considered anew. The more time that has passed since the first submission, the more likely it is that the agent will believe that you've made actual changes.

Query letter #10: Mitch H

noreply@blogger.com (Agent Sydney) — Mon, 25 Feb 2013 06:03:00 +0000

A monastic trained orphan with a talent for Sorcery, Caldan's entire world dissolves when he learns his family was murdered, almost kills his friend's brother, and is exiled from the only life he has known. Adrift and confused he begins to build a new life in a strange city, developing his Sorcerous talent while hunting for information on his parents enigmatic past. When a power hungry nation invades, for reasons both personal and nefarious, Caldan must embrace forbidden Sorcery in order to survive risking becoming the very thing he has vowed to defeat, and condemning himself in the process. In the chaos of the invasion he unearths a Sorcerous secret his parents had been hiding, with stunning implications that will change the face of Sorcery forever. [This is a very dense opening paragraph - bear in mind that people who read these letters see a lot of them. Our eyes do get tired and there is a not-yet-officially-recognised condition called Manuscript Fatigue. So break it up a bit if you can. Try reading it aloud the way it's written here - that will help you work out where the breaks should fall.]

I am seeking representation for my epic fantasy novel, A Broken Silence, which is complete at 188,000 words and the first book of a planned trilogy. [Perhaps put this first.]

Currently I am a full time freelance writer of speculative fiction living in Sydney, Australia, and a member of the NSW Writers Center. At the moment I am working on the second book of my series and developing a website. [Are you online anywhere else? If so, include the URL.]

Thank you for your time and consideration, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Overall feedback: Again, there was no pressing reason to want to read more. You gave me a description but not a reason. We don't expect that you'll write the equivalent of a back-cover blurb (which can take weeks to perfect and are often argued over) but those blurbs are a good guide as to how to construct your query letter: you catch the reader's attention and then tell them what the story is. It's a tired old chestnut, but the 'elevator pitch' principle applies: you need to be able to tell me what your story is about and why it's great in the time it would take to ride an elevator a few floors. When readers go into a bookshop or read a description online, they're not going to give your story any more time than that either, so consider your query letter practice for that back-cover blurb that needs to impress a potential book buyer.

Query letter #9: Benjamin S

noreply@blogger.com (Agent Sydney) — Mon, 25 Feb 2013 05:51:00 +0000

Rift is a 75,000 word thriller novel about the murder of sixteen year old girl in the Victorian coastal town of Wheeler's Cove. The novel is unique [even if it is, don't say this - a lot of authors say their story is unique, so the term has lost its power] as the protagonists simultaneously investigate the murder both before and after it happens. [interesting premise]

Jamie Webster is a struggling writer who moves to Wheeler's Cove to escape the mounting expectations on his second novel. Alice Jackson has returned to her father's house to wait out her husband's death from lung cancer in their home town. Fate brings them together over the washed up body of a sixteen year old school girl. She's been shot twice; once in the head and once in the stomach.

The next day the girl turns up at the local police station, very much alive.

Alice and Jamie figure out that the headland is a place that exists simultaneously three months apart. [Consider putting this information in the opening paragraph - it's a key element and sets the story apart] Jamie is from the past, Alice from the future. Using clues both before and after the murder, they must piece together the mystery before the past catches up to the present, and the girl dies for good.

But old towns have old secrets. As Alice and Jamie delve further into the death, they find that this may not be the first homicide in their quiet town. And, if they're not careful, it may not be the last.

Protect the past. Fear the future. [This line doesn't seem to belong to anything - if you're going to use it, put it first in the letter so it seems like a hook.]

I am an award winning and nationally televised stand-up comedian. I have an English degree and have written for newspapers and comedy festivals in the past. This is my first novel. [Contrary to what many first-time novelists think, saying it's your first novel is not a disincentive for agents or publishers to read it] Other novelists I enjoy reading in this genre are Peter Temple, for his realism, and Stephen King, for his higher concept thrillers.

I also have an Engineering Honours Degree, which I know has no credence with novel writing, but mentioning it makes me feel like I didn't waste five years of my life. [Humour is good!]

Overall feedback: This letter lacks that essential grunt - you haven't give me a reason to want to read it. Yes, you've described the story in enough detail for me to be intrigued, but what I really want to feel is that must-read-it-now sensation. Open with your hook: 'The body of a sixteen-year-old girl is washed up on a beach in Wheeler's Cove, a small Victorian coastal town. She's been shot twice - once in the head, once in the stomach. And the next day she turns up at the police station - very much alive ...' That would get anyone's attention.

I'll show you mine if you show me yours

noreply@blogger.com (Agent Sydney) — Wed, 20 Feb 2013 12:44:00 +0000

Most agents' websites are useless. Half the time they are not updated. No one has heard of most of the writers on agents lists. As a writer, I want to know their current and past track records in successful placements. Who considers an IPO without doing the number crunching on a company's performance? How many agents make money? What's the average income of a mom and pop agent? What's the salary of a senior in-house agent? How much does Sophie Hamlyn [NB: this is not the name of an Australian agent but she'll be touched to learn that your spelling was close], Jenny Darling, Margaret Kennedy, Lyn Tranter or Rick Raftos make a year? I want to see the agents' association publish earnings and sales records. Individual sales and breakdown of genres. Who's the best forming agent in Australia in money terms?

Instead of a breakdown of genres, let's break down your message.

First: the 'P' part of 'IPO' stands for 'public' - the last time I checked, all Australian agencies were private companies or businesses. Which means that their business and financial information is, y'know, private. Why don't you trot off to a privately held Australian publishing company and ask if they'll show you their P&L statements before you decide to publish with them? And do let me know how you get on. While you're at it, ask the Australian Publishers' Association to give you a list of all of their members' earnings and sales records and see if they'll give them to you. Because if you're going to require this information, you should also require it of publishers. And booksellers too - so please do contact the Australian Booksellers' Association.

Second: 'mom' and 'pop' are American spellings, so I lack confidence in your ability to turn in a manuscript that suits an Australian market, given that you are clearly using an American version of Microsoft Word. Also, you should have an apostrophe (known as the s pos in this case) after 'agents' in 'agents lists'. Agents do notice that pesky punctuation stuff and a lack of it can also dent your chances.

Third: updating websites is a matter for individual businesses. In an ideal world every business's website would be up to date. Keeping things up to date requires having someone around to do it. Most agencies are very lean operations and the agents already work long hours. That's the only explanation I have.

Fourth: if you haven't heard of most of the writers on the agents' lists, it's because you're not reading their books. This is not the agents' fault.

Fifth: I'll show you mine if you show me yours. So, unpublished writer, before I decide to take you on as a client - investing many, many hours in working on your manuscript, writing a pitch document, talking to publishers about you, talking to you, seeing you through the inevitable rejections, patiently waiting until some smart publisher realises your worth - why don't you tell me how much money you have made on your writing. What's that? Nothing? Sorry, please go away - you are not a sound investment. And if you're a published writer, please answer the same question - oh, I see, $10 000 over five years. Okay, you can go away too because you're never going to earn me the millions of dollars that someone, somewhere, must be earning in this caper - because that's what you're really interested in, right? How likely it is that having an agent is going to be your ticket to millions?

The reason why agents do not require of prospective clients the same sort of financial CV that you find essential for agents is that we take on authors on faith. We have faith in their talent. We have faith that other people will recognise it. We believe passionately in the authors' work. This behaviour is also found in people who work with musicians and actors and dancers and composers and screenwriters ... It's true of everyone in the arts. Faith and passion are not a good business plan but they're what we have. If you would like to attempt to measure their worth, then you can see our balance sheets.

Query letter #8: Luciano C

noreply@blogger.com (Agent Sydney) — Tue, 05 Feb 2013 05:58:00 +0000

I am writing to you regarding my completed novel, The Legacy of about 101,000 words. The story is a historical fantasy based on Greek mythology. The Moirai [Who are these Moirai - a tribe? A race? Elf-like creatures hiding in Herodotus' robe?] foresee a future where the Olympian Gods will fade from immortal existence and are replaced by a single entity [watch the grammar - you mixed future and present tenses]. To prevent this from happening, the sacred relics of the Mother Goddess, whose power is supreme, must be restored [restored to where - a temple? A town?] to avert the extinguishing power of the gods [watch the grammar here]. Poseidon's children, the Atlanteans, have been chosen to seek out the relics or face extinction.

My target audience would be readers of George R.R. Martin and Kate Mosse [whoa there, cowboy - you haven't convinced me to read your story yet, so it's a bit early to tell me whose readers you think would like it], although my story differs from the traditional telling of historical novels. My story draws on ancient history and mythology to tell a provocative yet epic tale of intrigue, betrayal, a loss of belief and the everlasting impact it has on the characters. [This is a good sentence - move it up to the first paragraph so it comes after the sentence ending 'Greek mythology' and then start a new para to tell me about the story itself.] This is my first work of fiction which is part of a series, the second book is completed and I have begun writing the third.

I'm Australian and live in Perth, city of Western Australia. I have studied Ancient History [this is an example of pertinent detail - if you're writing about Ancient Greece, I do want to read that you've studied Ancient History], completed a series of writer's workshops at the University of Western Australia and concluded a Proofreading course. I am an affiliate member of the Australian Society of Authors and member of The Katharine Susannah Pritchard's Writers Centre. [All good information.]

Please find attached a synopsis and a sample of my manuscript The Legacy. I have included my e-mail address for a reply. If the manuscript is to your liking, I'd love to send you a larger sample or the entire manuscript.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Overall feedback: You buried the best sentence of your pitch deep in the second paragraph. If you move it up to the first para, you'll see how it will change what detail you want to include after it, because the story you described in the first para didn't seem provocative, or that it contained intrigue, betrayal or a loss of belief. So either that really good sentence doesn't represent your story, or you haven't described the story in a way that fits with the pitch.

Query letter #7: Gwendolyn C

noreply@blogger.com (Agent Sydney) — Tue, 05 Feb 2013 05:51:00 +0000

As a time-traveler, Kale has no future. Every few days he disappears only to return to a house he doesn't like to call home. It's impossible for him to be normal. It's impossible for him to control it. But when Kale starts traveling back to World War II, fighting in a war he was never meant to be in, it becomes harder for him to have two lives when he doesn't think he belongs to either.

Then after six years of being away, Harper moves back in next door, the girl who has haunted his past with the life he used to have. [Watch the grammar here - I needed to know that Harper was the girl who haunted his past before you told me her name.] They spent countless summers together growing up—swimming in the river and being a nuisance to the neighbors. Now, long after Kale gave up hope of seeing her again, they have their first summer together in years. Maybe not the way he would've imagined it, but more real than he could hope for.

But when everything seems to be getting better—Kale trying to figure out the secret to his time-traveling and making amends with his father who he never got along with—Harper finds something in Kale's past that might tear them apart forever. Because whether or not Kale likes to admit it, the past is Kale's future, and there's no changing it. [This pitch is a paragraph too long. Did I need to know about the summers? Probably not. Find a shorter way to tell me about Kale and Harper's reunion and why it's important to the story. Kale's father also isn't an element I need to know about here. Stick to the time travel and the romance - I'll find out about the father if I want to read the manuscript, but you have to get me to that point first.]

COLD SUMMER is a YA science fiction novel complete at 96,000 words. [The elephant in the room here is The Time-Traveler's Wife - if you have written a time-travel story involving a romance, you have to acknowledge the other novel either as influence or inspiration, otherwise I'll think you're trying to mimic it.]

Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you soon.

General feedback: This letter has potential - it just needs a bit more polish and focus. It also needs to have the author in it - you told me nothing about yourself. As you are the storyteller, you are just as important as the story. The 'party pitch' mentioned in the last letter is a technique that you've no doubt heard of before - I certainly didn't invent it - and it's a valid one. Being a storyteller also means being able to convince people to hear or read your story.

Query letter #6: Ian E

noreply@blogger.com (Agent Sydney) — Tue, 05 Feb 2013 05:41:00 +0000

I am a 63 year old retiree, having raised a family of two boys with my wife of 30 years. [I don't need to know this - it doesn't have anything to do with your writing.] I have been carrying around this manuscript for 40 years [Saying how long it's taken to write this is not a badge of honour - it just makes me think the manuscript is overcooked], but only now realize what I was trying to say. It is a biography from my past, and all happened before I was 21 [This is actually the salient piece of information], but the ramifications have left my greater family divided all this time.

Ian is 21 [If it's your story, don't switch to third person to describe it, otherwise I'll presume you've written a novel and named the central character after yourself] and running from his past. Leaving behind his Asian girlfriend after having a baby, (not his), and anticipating the return of her husband from prison, he hitchhikes across Canada in the middle of winter [So Canada is the setting of the whole story?], barely returning alive to the family he's ostracized from. [The grammar is clumsy here - it's important to make the spelling and grammar as good as can be] As a younger lad he was in a love triangle which left, one 15 year old pregnant, and broke the family of another 14, year old, after he took nude pics of her and they were found by her father. Unwelcome, and reviled, and looking like hell, barely making the journey he is forcibly committed to a mental institution and declared a schizophrenic. The book parallels his life, as he deals with the loss of his soul and the mind numbing drugs. [Somewhere in here is a storyline - you need to say what the story is about, and 'my life' is not the right answer - if you are a stranger to all your potential readers, you have to give them a reason to want to read this - you have to find the common human thread/s that make your story relevant to others.] It takes us into a place very few people ever go, exposing the soul or the lack of it because in the end, that's what he get on his knees in the hospital chapel, and asks for. That's what, he concludes realizing after repeated attempts [attempts at ...?], made upon him by the hospital, he has nothing to say and even if he did, his tongue, 'cleaving to his mouth', won't let him. [I'm still not sure what the story is.]

30,000 words [This is too small a word count for most publishers to consider.]

General feedback: Never attempt to do too much in a query letter when telling something simply will do. You gave quite a bit of detail in that second paragraph but I still don't really know what the story is about, or why I should read it. If you are not sure how to pitch your manuscript, pretend that you are meeting someone at a party and they ask you what your story's about - and you only have half a minute to tell them before someone else comes up to talk to you. What would you say in those 3o seconds? Wouldn't you start with, 'It's a story about love, loss and redemption' (if that's what it's about)? Writing a query letter can help you work out what your story's about, but you shouldn't send said query letter to an agent or publisher until you're sure you know. Because if you don't know what your story's about, you need to go back to the manuscript and do some more work.

In contrast to the previous 'stunt letter', you should start your query by telling me what your story is called, that it's a memoir, and that it's 30 000 words long. You can then tell me that it deals with your life before the age of 21, then go into some detail - but not too much. You still need to pitch it, though - you need to give me a compelling reason to want to read it. Agents and publishers see thousands of submissions a year - we need to be given a reason. Also bare in mind that the reasons for non-fiction are different from those for fiction. In fiction the story, when pitched right, can be the reason. In non-fiction it may be the story or it may be the subject, or both.

Query letter #5: Cassandra P

noreply@blogger.com (Agent Sydney) — Tue, 05 Feb 2013 05:29:00 +0000

At seventeen, Isla is the most sensible of her friends—she doesn't believe in ghoulies, ghosties or long-legged beasties. Her plans are simple: finish school, get a job, decide what she wants to do with her life. She only agrees to participate in a Halloween party séance because she wants to impress Dominic, but the séance gives Isla the first hint that her family might have a secret. When they try to contact her dead mother they receive a chilling reply: she is not dead. [This is a good example of how you can start a query letter without saying what the title, the genre and the word count are - with a good pitch. This opening para is snappy, easy to read and tells me enough about the story for me to be intrigued. It is also does tell me the genre - or, at least, the age of the readership - without directly stating it.]

Isla is reluctant to upset her father by prying into the family history he never discusses; however, events force her hand. And nothing had prepared her for the truth. Her mother is an aosidhe, part of the fae's ruling class: a race known for its arrogance and cruelty. [This gives me a further indication of what the genre is.] Isla is introduced to her mother's world by Jack, an elf-like hob who is eager to help her for his own reasons. When her father is attacked by an unknown aosidhe, Isla must overcome her self-doubt and work with Jack to save him.

ISLA'S INHERITANCE is an 83,000 word urban fantasy set in metropolitan Australia, and is aimed at a young adult audience—particularly teenage girls who enjoy paranormal fiction.

I have a Bachelor of Arts in Communication, with a professional writing specialisation and, since 2007, I have been working as a public service editor. I am a member of the Australian Society of Authors. [Compared to the polished pitch, this feels a bit light - almost like you're trying to run away as quickly as possible. Tell me why you're writing in this genre, because there's nothing in these two lines that gives me an indication that you even like fiction.]

Included below are a synopsis and the first three chapters of the manuscript. The completed document is available on request.

General feedback: This is an example of a 'stunt letter' (my term) - where the author is accomplished enough to lead with a pitch because the pitch is really polished. The author has told me pretty much everything I need to know about her story - and certainly enough for me to decide whether or not I'd like to read it - in those first two paragraphs. By the time she tells me that it's an urban fantasy aimed at a young adult audience, I barely need to read the words. However, the reason why this is a stunt letter is that it's for the brave and confident writer only - you need to feel really sure that your pitch works in order to put it first in the query letter. There is risk there - that if it doesn't work, an agent/publisher is not going to read any further and not going to find out that it's an urban fantasy etc etc. In this letter the risk has paid off. But for other non-stunt writers it is perfectly acceptable to use a more conventional structure of title/genre/word count to start your letter.

Query letter #4: Miira K

noreply@blogger.com (Agent Sydney) — Thu, 31 Jan 2013 00:40:00 +0000

LOVE… can you count it? D.J. does with his Mummy, all the way to the number ten. [What type of books is this? Picture book? Middle grade? If you don't tell me here, I may presume it's a novel for adults, which will make the next few lines seem a bit odd.]

"How much do you love me Mummy?" says D.J.

"I love you 1 (one)," says Mummy. "One kiss on your little button nose."

"Do you love me more than one?" asks D.J.

"Of course, I love you 2 (two)," says Mummy. "Two kisses, one for each of your lovely bright eyes."

In 'I Love You 10' [a picture book for ages what to what?], Mummy bestows kisses on D.J. from his nose right through to '10 (ten) kisses, one for each of your wiggly little toes'.

Well, ten seems like a lot! But can love really be counted?

'…Mummy points to the millions of twinkling stars, lighting the whole of the night sky. "Even if you could count every star…you would never be able to count how much I love you."

This picture book [aha! here is the information I needed - but are you submitting text only, or text with illustrations?] explores and strengthens positive emotional intelligence, counting basics, and naming of body parts for young children in 317 words.

My stories are based on actual conversations with my four homeschooled children, in response to their questions, observations, and wonder. [Do you have a writing background? It's okay if you haven't - you're allowed to say, 'I've never written before but was inspired to so by ...' but if you say nothing at all about it then I have very little idea about who you are and why you're writing. Have you read other picture books? Have you researched to see if there are any books like this already?]

I have enclosed a SSAE for your convenience [only send this if requested], and I thank you for your consideration.

General feedback: You can't presume that an agent/publisher will guess what type of book this is. We all see a lot of submissions and we're usually reading them quickly - tell us straight up what sort of book it is and who it's for, because if you don't we may not make it through half the letter to find out. For a picture book you don't need to have the same length of query letter that is needed for a novel - as there's less story to describe - but picture books are a highly competitive genre (many people write them, there are few published each year) so you need to identify why yours is different to what's already available. If you have not done any research to find out what else is available, you may find that you are wasting your time if there's a similar book out there.

Query letter #3: Barry R

noreply@blogger.com (Agent Sydney) — Thu, 31 Jan 2013 00:40:00 +0000

I'm seeking representation for my completed 35,000 word young adult novel THE STRANGER IN MY HEAD. I note that many of your clients write in this genre. [It's good - but not essential - to say something like this as then the agent knows you've done some research. Too often writers submit to agents who don't represent their genre, and that just wastes everyone's time.]

That noise in Angie's heads; [I said I wouldn't correct typos but I will point out this one - 'heads' - it perhaps sends the wrong message about your story] it's tinnitus, the doctors say, but Angie knows better. It's a voice, a man's voice. Whose is it? Where is it coming from? Those are the very questions the voice itself wants answered. It needs help and it's telling Angie to do things she's scared to do. [Otherwise this is a solid pitch - it incites curiosity.]

As if school bullies aren't enough for a shy fifteen-year-old to deal with [good to mention the age of the character in a YA sub, just so the agent/publisher is sure you've identified the right age group], not to mention friends who think she's weird, and her feelings for that cute new guy in her class, she's now expected to find the voice's owner by following the direction it comes from. And the first thing in that direction? Rookwood Cemetery. Either the voice is real or Angie is insane.She must solve the mystery if she wants her mind back. But Angie's search will reveal more than she expects and will put her life and the lives of her friends in mortal danger. Does she have the necessary courage? Well, with the cutest guy in school on her side, maybe. [The pitch is intriguing but could be tightened a little, punctuation wise. It feels a bit breathless at the moment.]

Each chapter of THE STRANGER IN MY HEAD has been thoroughly critiqued by the long-established writing group the ... ... Writers [that's nice but it's actually more pertinent to tell me the next bit -->]. It has been through many edits and is as ready as I can make it. It's my first young adult novel but I've had several short stories and articles published, won competition and completed a fantasy trilogy. I'm working on my next novel. [All good pieces of information as they tell me that you've been writing for a while and that you're still writing. However, I'd like to know why you're now writing YA when you haven't before.]

I've attached a short synopsis, author bio and the first three chapters for your consideration.Thank you for your time. I look forward to hearing from you.

General feedback: A good letter. You might want to slip in something about who you think the reader is - 'for every teenager who's ever thought the only sane person they know', or something like that (not exactly that, obviously). Young adult fiction is now a very broad church that also takes in adults, so writers need to start identifying which YA audience they're writing for. In the olden days it was more simple: there was one type of teenager and it was the type who read The Outsiders.

Query letter #2: Marlana A

noreply@blogger.com (Agent Sydney) — Fri, 25 Jan 2013 00:07:00 +0000

Title: THE CHILDREN OF THE NEPHILIM

Genre: YA science fiction

Word Count: 66,000 words

[I quite like this way of providing title, genre and word length - it means you don't have to work it into the letter. But just be aware that some agents may not be so fond.]

Sixteen-year old Paxton Mills freaking hates living in space. [Good opening line - I know straightaway the age and name of your character and something key about them.] The station is freezing cold, her berth is barely bigger than a port-a-potty and her fear of heights doesn't lend itself to a comfortable intergalactic experience. She's one of several hundred teenagers saved from the fires that ravaged Earth. [Great hook.] Handpicked for their ability to acclimate to celestial living, they were taken to ensure humanity's survival. However, Paxton isn't grateful to her rescuers for whisking her into space and educating her in hydroponics and uniform maintenance. Why should she give a damn about hanging squash or pride herself on having a wrinkle-free jumper, when she's haunted by memories of her loved ones being left behind to burn to death? [Good - suggests that there is humour in the story. Unless there isn't - in which case, don't make the letter humorous.]

But her days of sulking end when she realizes her teachers aren't humans, but aliens called the Nephilim. Knowing she needs proof, Paxton breaks into the forbidden Red Block and finds curled and crusty teens barely clinging to life. That's when she discovers she and the other kids were never taken to ensure humanity's survival. They were taken to ensure the survival of the Nephilim.

Unwilling to end up resembling an oversized fetus, Paxton rallies her friends so together they can find an escape. As they unravel the mystery of the station and their captors, Paxton's boyfriend is murdered. If Paxton wants to save her friends from this same fate, she must trust an annoyingly perfect hybrid named Kendal and accept that good and evil don't always run skin deep. [In the previous letter I said not much detail is needed in the letter - and that's when the letter reads like a synopsis. This reads like a pitch, so I wanted to keep reading - therefore, this much detail is okay.]

THE CHILDREN OF THE NEPHILIM is complete at approximately 66,000 words. I've been an active member of the Society of Children Book Writers and Illustrators since 2009 and am the group leader for the SCBWI Osceola County Critique Group. [You can possibly include a bit more personal detail - why you love this genre, for example.]

General feedback: A well-constructed letter with a great pitch. You need just a bit more information about you before the end, so the agent/publisher gets a sense of who you are. It's okay to not have writing 'credits' but that doesn't mean you should just not say anything - instead of including credits, include some information about how you came to write this genre and why you love it.