Staedler™

I'm Leaving the Blogger

2011-12-31T04:53:00.000+08:00

86 posts
40 Months
65,561 words
367 comments
19,230 views
46 followers
2 Award Nominations

T H A N K Y O U!

I'll be moving out.

See you ~~soon. . .~~

Happy trails buddies,

--- Carl

###

Kabanata 3: Sa Koridor

2011-12-30T16:32:00.001+08:00

Nakita kita sa koridor.

Malayo pa lang, alam ko na na ikaw 'yun.

Para bang anino sa kalagitnaan ng gabi.

Mag-isa ka.

Naglalakad papalapit sa akin.

Magsasalubong tayo.

Bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko.

Mas narinig ko ang pagdaloy ng dugo sa bawat ugat sa aking buong katawan.

Panay ang dampi mo sa iyong mukha.

Malayo ang paningin mo.

Naglalakad ka ngunit naglalaro ang iyong mga mata.

Inuusisa mo siguro kung may nakakakita sa iyo na umiiyak.

Lumilipad ang iyong isip.

Nadudurog ang puso ko.

Hindi ko alam kung paano kita patatahanin sa sandaling magtagpo na tayo.

Pinaiyak ka na naman niya siguro.

Hindi na kita kayang makitang umiiyak.

Wala akong magawa.

Ilang dipa na lang, wala akong maisip na gawin.

Torpe kasi ako.

Kumanan ako bigla sa palikuran.

Kunyari'y hindi kita nakita.

Tsaa at Kamalian

2011-12-29T04:04:00.000+08:00

Wala na naman akong nagawang tama ngayong araw. Puro kamalian. Namumuro na ako. Lagi akong taya. Laging talunan.

Kailangan kong mag-isip. Nasasayang ang panahon sa paggawa ng mali. Nauubos ang pagkakataon.

Uminom ako ng tsaa.

Mainit. Mapait. Nakakapagpagising ng damdamin. Pinapagaan nito ang aking dungan.

Napagtanto ko na may kabuluhan ang buhay --- kalakip na ang paggawa ng mali at pagiging talunan.

Bukas gagawa uli ako ng mga mali. Pipilitin kong gumawa kahit, kamalian.

Marahil mas mabuti na iyon kesa sa gumawa ng wala.

Tingin ko mas masarap pa sa tsaa ang gumawa at mag-ipon ng mali.

Iipunin, itatago, at kapag husto na, siguro naman magiging magaling akong tagapayo sa sarili ko, at sa iba pang katulad ko ding talunan.

Sa wari ko'y magiging makabuluhan na ang buhay dahil nakatulong ako sa kapwa.

At doon na ako magsisimulang gumawa ng tama.

Bago iyon, iinom muli ako ng tsaa.

Mainit. Mapait. Nakakapagpagising ng damdamin. Pinagaan nito ang aking dungan.

Nadurog Ang Puso Ko

2011-12-21T02:57:00.001+08:00

Disyembre 18, 2011

3:31 p.m., Balintawak

Sumakay ka. Binigyan ng tingin, hanggang sa humulagpos ka patungo sa likuran ng bus. Pumanaog muli ang sasakyan, doon kasama na kita. Tinahak natin ang NLEX. Wala akong katabi sa upuan. Wala akong kasama sa paglalakbay.

3:40 p.m., Camachile

Inaaliw ko na lamang ang aking sarili. Empty batt na ang cellphone ko, kaya hindi na ako makakapagpatugtog ng mga tracks ng The Beatles. Ayaw ko pa rin namang basahin ang libro ni Chuck Palahniuk na dala ko. Ayaw kong magmukhang intelektwal sa loob ng bus. Sa malamig, at matamlay na atmospera ng bus.

4:01 p.m. NLEX-Bocaue

Umusod ako bahagya papalapit sa bintana. Sa center island ng NLEX, naaliw ako sa mga damong sumasayaw sa hangin na dulot ng matulin na Five Star Bus sa unahan natin. Parang alun-alon lang sa dagat --- gumagalaw, sumasayaw, naglalakbay. Pareho silang may pinatutunguhan. Parehong nakikibaka sa panahon.

4:27 p.m., Mabalacat

Lumipas pa ang ilang minuto, nakarating rin tayo sa Dau Exit. Mula doon, pumasok ang bus sa central terminal. Marami ang bumaba. May mga natapos ang biyahe kaagad. May mga sumasakay. Kapalit sila siguro ng mga taong piniling bumaba na.

Siguro tama si Little Prince, hindi nakukuntento ang tao sa kinalalagyan niya kaya patuloy silang naglalakbay, marahil sa maraming dahilan.

Hindi na sana kita iisipin ngunit lumapit ka. Hindi kita nilingon, hanggang sa hawakan mo ang balikat ko.

"Pwede bang tumabi?"

Hindi kita sinagot. At agad naman akong umusod para magkaroon ka ng espasyo.
Reflex action na lamang siguro.

"Salamat!" ika mo.

Sinuklian kita ng tango.

At ngumiti ka.

Hindi kita nililingon. Ngunit panakaw kitang sinusulyapan sa tuwing mag-oovertake ang bus. Kunyari'y minamasdan ko ang mga sasakyang naigpawan natin.

5:16 p.m., SCTEX-Dolores

Inaaliw mo ang sarili mo sa panonood. Naked Weapon ang palabas. Nagtataka ako kung bakit hindi ka naging sensitibo sa pelikula. Ewan. Siguro itinutulad kita sa iba pang katulad mo. Matapang ka siguro.

Naramdaman kong dapat ko nang ipinagpatuloy ang pagbabasa ng libro. Kelangan kong gawin upang maisalba ko pa ang natitira kong katinuan.

5:36 p.m., Concepcion Exit

Napadalas ang pagtingin mo sa akin. Hindi ko alam kung anong iniisip mo. Siguro ipinagpalagay mo na malungkot akong tao, katulad ng iba pang mga tao na nagbabasa ng libro sa pampublikong lugar. Marahil tama ka.

Tinangka mong kausapin ako. Ngunit nagdalawang isip ka dahil baka hindi kita sagutin. Kaya't nilulon mo na lamang ang mga salitang binitiwan mo. Narinig ko 'yon dahil saglit akong natigil sa pagbabasa.

5:57 p.m., Capas

Matagal na katahimikan ang bumalot. Kumakalat ang kadiliman at unti-unting nababawasan ang mga tao sa lansangan.

6:30 p.m., Gerona

Tumunog ang cellphone mo. May tumatawag sa iyo, natural. Tuwang-tuwa ka nang ibinalita mo na nakapasa ka. Hindi ako tiyak kung saan, basta may kaugnay iyon sa kotse.

Matapang ka nga. Malakas ang loob, bibihira sa isang katulad mo. Nangiti pa nga ako noong magsalita ka gamit ang wikang Pangasinan.

Tuwang-tuwa ka. Natutuwa rin naman ako.

7:02 p.m., Moncada

Itiniklop ko ang libro. At sumandal ka sa upuan mo. Di sinasadyang dumikit ang braso mo sa braso ko.

Mainit. Malambot. Puno ng buhay.

Nasa loob tayo ng isang malamig na hawla, ngunit nakaramdam ako ng init, ng buhay, ng pag-asa.

Hindi ko iniurong ang katawan ko. Gusto ko ang init. Hindi mo rin inalis ang pagkakadikit. Hindi ko binigyan ng malisya iyon. Pero ginusto ko. Sapagkat kailangan ko.

7:36 p.m., Urdaneta

"Makikiraan po. Lilipat lang."

Hindi ko namalayan ang oras. Maraming bumaba, kaya nabakante ang nasa harapang upuan. Pinasya mong lumipat. Nalungkot ako. Para akong iniwanan ng kasama.

Akala ko'y bababa ka na. Ngunit umusad ka lamang pala, katulad ng marami pang bagay sa mundo na kailangan pa ring umusad.

Naroon ka pa rin sa harapang upuan. Malapit lamang sa akin. Malapit lamang ako sa iyo. Minamasdan pa rin kita na puno ng paghanga, gaya ng dati.

Nakadungaw ka sa bintana. Nakadikit na halos ang mukha mo sa salamin. Napangiti ako ako. Para kang bata. Nakakahanga ang pagkakaroon mo ng interes sa mga bagay na nadadaanan lamang ng bus.

Minamasdan kita. Mula sa repleksyon ng salamin ng bintana, naaaninag kita. Ang iyong mukha. Ang mga malinaw mong mga mata. Matingkad ang iyong mukha. Hindi ka nakangiti ngunit ramdam ko ang gaan ng ligaya sa mukha mo.

8:12 p.m., Binalonan

Malapit na akong bumaba. At hindi ko pa alam kahit ang ngalan mo lang. Pinag-iisipan ko kung papara na nga ba ako sa dapat kong babaan, o dadayain ko na lang ang konduktor upang makapag-extend ako ng biyahe at malaman ko kung saan ka nakatira.

Hindi ako makapagdesisyon. Basta alam kong kailangan ko nang umuwi at pawiin ang pagod at lungkot na nagpapabigat sa akin.

8:27 p.m., Manaoag

Hindi ko na inisip ngunit bigla na lamang ako tumayo sa kinauupuan ko.

Kinuha ang bagahe sa itaas na bahagi.

Naglakad sa aisle saka pumara.

Huminto ang bus.

Bababa na sana ako ngunit pinasya kong tignan muna kita.

Hindi ka lumingon.

Nadurog ang puso ko.

Kabanata 2: Maikling Kwento

2011-12-05T19:55:00.001+08:00

Ito marahil ang sequel ng kwentong ayaw ko pang tapusin.

Puso ang Lumikha ng Kaguluhang ito

Disyembre 5, 2011 (7:13:19 p.m.)

Caloy: Bakit ka umiiyak kanina?

Ikaw: Cnu ngsbi?

Caloy: Nakita kita. Lalapitan sana kita. Papunta ka sa mga kaklase mo. Anong nangyari?

Ikaw: Gsto nga dn kta pntahan nun kso d kta nkta.

Caloy: Dahil ba yan sa %^&*$ %&@$? Pinagalitan ka ni @#$!?

Ikaw: Hnd. Pinahiya ako ni *^!&%$*@.

Caloy: Bakit naman? Bakit niya nagawa iyon sa iyo? Grabe naman siya.

Ikaw: .........

Caloy: Anyway, kung di mo kaya magkuwento, ayus lang. Basta you can talk to me, always, anytime.

Ikaw: ........

*End of the story*

Lofty

2011-12-05T02:00:00.000+08:00

Bend, not break. (Dasol, Pangasinan | December 21, 2010)

Ibong Adarna and the Chronicles of Memories

2011-12-04T14:06:00.001+08:00

They were waving at me as I continue my walking. They smiled, like it was the best smiles I have ever seen from them. It was so vivid that I almost imagined that dream was real. But I just don't know if those were of hello's or goodbye's.

I dreamed of walking last night. In a lengthy, and straight road I found myself wandering through the course of it. Along with it, I found the memories of the past, imparting the people by the roadside who came and went away in my life.

I was eleven when I entered high school. And high school introduced me the concept of 'jungle' in the pool of human beings. It was, and will always be.

The Chronicles of Berbanya. Like graphite on paper, some memories do fade.

One of the most memorable memories I had in high school is the "Ibong Adarna". We had the play of it for our Filipino subject. There are 40 students in the class, and 28 of it were girls. We belong to the Special Science Class where the scarcity of males is very prominent. If that is so, I do not know why. The story needs at least four male characters to be ran on a sensible storyline. But our group had only three. So the one very lucky girl in our group played the role of Don Fernando, the father. I played the role of Don Diego, the second son, like the 'middle' sibling in real life. Gerard Jake played the role of the youngest don, Juan and James Al as Pedro.

We had three months to prepare, that includes rewriting the script, designing the costumes and setting what we all need, and all others. James Al wrote the script. It was very poetic that I admired his writing. I see it as a 'good' one. I once suspected him that he had just copied it from another's work or made somebody write it for us. But I was wrong. He is just plain genius and that made me hoard the original manuscript of it, written in an Aspen Notes with Paula Peralejo on the cover by a pencil. I guess that just made Paula very lucky enough.

Gerard Jake, one of the little things I know about him is that he is the youngest male in the family, has a premature birth (like me), and who was always being accompanied and fetched by his father via Nissan pickup. He was a spoiled son. I know it, and I know why. Like James Al, he too does well in academics, especially Science, and History. I remember him being my greatest competitor in Science and History Quiz Bees in Elementary. Yeah, that small, groggy, but smart guy.

These two boys have taught me a lot of things (bad ones included). In those three months of preparations, we always have Saturdays and/or Sundays to rehearse and plan out the play. When other main casts were unable to attend, rehearsals were thwarted. But that didn't let us to spoil the fun. We would hold rehearsals either, on James Al's house, Gerald Jake's or in the warehouse near Kristine's flat. Kristine is the Don Fernando by the way.

During the postponed practice sessions, James Al would teach me how to play football in their neighbor's house. I remember when I wiped out their neighbor's bamboo fence for an 'uncontrolled' kick. Because of that, he would always tell me that I should be a goalie first, so that I could have a familiar connection with the ball. Well, in good considerations, James Al is a football varsity player in high school, aside from being the Editor-in-Chief of our English School Paper, and the SSG President. Beyond that, he is still humble, but proud. I think of him as a would-be football superstar in the future, if not because of his illness. He gave up the sport. I did too when the Azkals came into the limelight and changed the perspective of the football as a sport of discipline into a girl's weekend show. But I think Azkals are good anyway.

Gerard Jake gave me the idea of 'cyber world'. Plus, we would always play Play Station, either in their house, or in a PS House --- with James Al. Vigilante, Metal Slug, Marvel versus Capcom, Crash Team Racing, Strikers 1945, etc. . . too many to mention, plus anime too! He always end up getting bullied by James Al (and I, occasionally) yet he is not ''pikon" (I want to preserve that word). He is always on the top ten in the class, and I don't wonder why.

Our brotherhood didn't end up even after that play project. It grew and we even recruited the rest of the males in the class. And we call that 'gang' as Spiders, which of course gave birth for our female counterparts, like Capulets.

All of those good memories were meant to cherish, reminisce, and re-read, just like how the way I hoard the manuscript of Ibong Adarna in my recollection box.

It has been almost six years since I last saw them. That was during our high school graduation, April 5, 2006. Over the years, I tried to search for them on Multiply, Facebook, Twitter, and even in Google (if they maintain blogs like this one) but to no avail. I have only befriended them virtually, on friendster. And its shut down on 'socializing' feature made me terribly sad. I wasn't able to resuscitate portraits of smiles that last longer to the eyes.

The last news I heard about them is that they both pursued their education at UP Diliman. James Al qualified for a program in Political Science, and Gerard Jake in Civil Engineering. That was the last time I heard stories about them.

In the story, Don Juan was, and always the one who was desired to be lost among the three brothers. Don Pedro, although alive couldn't find his way back to Berbanya. Diego has set up his way to the kingdom and thus married Princess Juana. He was very happy and contented. But there's always a space in his life that he has always been missing, and he is awfully wanting it back, at least in some point.

The story concludes with a double marriage, of Don Juan's and Don Pedro's, and once again brought tranquility and happiness to the kingdom. Everybody was very happy.

Now, I shall end this entry with a smile, and without worry. Perhaps, I'll meet them soon, at the crossroads. For now, happy trails to them, wherever they are.

For a Cup of Coffee

2011-12-02T22:40:00.001+08:00

A lady pretending to be a courtier tried to save her 'servant' in the latter-day France, an old man who is unscrupulous and was chained, and doomed to be sold in America as a slave and approached the coachman for the release. "I wish to address the issue of this gentleman. He is my servant and I am here to pay the debt against him." said she.

"You're too late, he's paid for." retorted the man.

"I can pay you 20 gold francs." the lady insisted.

But the coachman seemed to ignore the lady. Never giving up hope, the lady grabbed the donkey's sheaf and said "I demand you release him at once or I shall take this matter to the King."

"The King is the one that sold him." said he. The coachman was right. The slave is now the property of foreign land who bought him.

The woman denounced that 'he' is not property at all, and that it is ill-mannered to chain people like chattel. For the nth time, the lady demanded the release for the old man. But the coachman, which also happened to be the 'middle-man' in layman's term harangued her, "Get out of my way!".

The prince of the France who is parenthetically approaching saw the exchange of tirades. He then meddles. The coachman insisted that he was just following orders and that it is his 'job' to take the man with the rest of the other slaves who were prejudged as robbers to the coast, where the ship is waiting to send them to America.

"A servant is not a thief, Your Highness and those who are cannot help themselves." as the heavily opinionated woman claimed.

"Really? Well, then. By all means, enlighten us." The Prince of France was surprised by such wit of a woman.

"If you suffer your people to be ill-educated and their manners corrupted from infancy, then punish them for those crimes to which their first education disposed them, what else is to be concluded, Sire --- but that you first make thieves and then punish them?" discussed she.

The prince was convinced by such and the old man was released, for 20 Gold Francs and for a ten-minute arrogance to be found out later by the him that the lady has quoted Utopia, her only possession which her father gave to her.

The lady was startled, and didn't know what might gonna happen after the immodesty of citing a proposition out of a book which only the members of the royal court have the access.

"The Prince has read Utopia?" asked she.

"I found it sentimental and dull." the Prince quipped. "I confess, the plight of the everyday rustic bores me." added he.

"I gather you do not converse with many peasants." the lady presumed as she is regaining the pride to pursue the conversation to a royal. The Prince proudly answered "Certainly not, no! Naturally.", that they --- the royal family has adopted the custom of nature not to talk to the peasants.

"Excuse me, Sire, but there is nothing natural about it." the lady intruded.

"A country's character is defined by its everyday rustics, as you call them. They are the legs you stand on. That position demands respect." continued she.

"Am I to understand that you find me arrogant?" asked the Prince.

"Well, you gave one man back his life but did you even glance at the others?" as the lady finishes the conversation.

***

If you happen to know, that was a scene from Ever After and it really talks a lot of sense.




Today, I visited my favorite convenience store and bought myself a cheap cup of hot coffee. The evening was so cold and drizzles come periodically. When I was about to exit the store, two boys were in the outside who beg coins for their supper, struggled to grab the cup. I was ready to give it away but the store guard, and the people on a nearby busstop were alerted by that incident. They caught the littler boy, while his older brother (I surmise) managed to ran away.

The commotion heats up and the people in the scene were telling me to report the 'robbery' in the nearby police outpost as they made their reasons that grand thieves start in their childhood and that, we should not tolerate their 'crimes'. 

Others even remarked that these children are the future "problema ng gobyerno" (plague of the government). I heard them.

Maybe, at some point, they were right. Whatever. But I differed. All of this --- for only a petite cup of coffee?

I was looking at the boy's eyes, and my heart melts. I let him go. And I realized something "...that the government first make thieves and then punish them."

Thanks, again

2011-12-01T18:00:00.000+08:00

Philippine Blog Awards 2011

For the second time around, thank you, thanks Kuya Andrew for the nomination. Now, at least this year, I didn't do it for myself.

To some friends, who kept on visiting this blog these past months, I have tried so many times to close this blog, yet here I am again, and there you are, again, dudes and dudettes.

To all other visitors, thank you for reading, even most of the time your presence are not that appreciable. Magparamdam lang kayo.

From Commentary in 2009, to Personal Blog this 2011, the trails is not that typical.

This is again, another humbling experience, after the Gawad Ernesto Rodriguez, and after Youngblood.

I take this as another motivation to write, and not anything.

Till then!

"People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily." - Zig Ziglar

Here are the better blogs.

Finalists for Personal/Diary Category – Luzon Level

Cuteberl’s World: Panibagong Simula (cuteberl.wordpress.com)
Debris of My Past (zanjoezanjoehan.blogspot.com)
My Happiness Project (simandapanda.blogspot.com)
My little web playground (www.mylittlewebplayground.com)
Opinions by Flow Galindez (www.angsawariko.com)
The Culture Shack (cultureshacked.blogspot.com)
The Googly Gooeys (www.googlygooeys.com)
The Musings of a Hopeful Pecunious Wordsmith – SittieCates (myownwritersnook.blogspot.com)Yoshke.com – Blogging at the Speed of Life (www.yoshke.com)

I Held Her Breasts*

2011-11-30T21:19:00.001+08:00

On a windy night of December, when the moon shines like a sun, I was walking, holding a pail when I saw her, I saw her standing near the tree. I ran towards her, but she was trying to move away.

I grabbed her, but she resisted. I struggled for her, and now she is in my arms.

I asked her to come with me. But she didn't oblige. I have no other option, she's resisting, so I immured her.

After a while, I caught myself thinking of doing it with her. I am excited. And I have been very aggressive with her. But what can I do? She is the most full-grown, and most matured.

I couldn't wait any longer. And the most-awaited moment is now only a grasp away. I let her lie, in the stalks but just like before, she is again resisting. Sure. I can manage to do it while both of us are standing. I just need to bend a little so that I can obtain the best position.

Now, I am holding her face. I told her to be calm. She didn't say a word.

I held her breasts. I felt like I was holding two little bags filled with sand. And I heard her moaning. That's what I am talking about. Nobody could resist it.

Her sighs and whines make me do my job better. And I continued to caress here breasts, massage it, gently at first, and rapidly.

A few more minutes, she is wet already, that white, watery, fluid causes the big grin in my face.

Wow! I've been so worn out, so tired, and exhausted. But as I see it flowing, my labor didn't go for nothing.

I finally made it. I am so relieved and I feel proud that I was able to do it by myself. . .

how to

milk a

cow.

*I wrote this July 2006 as a requirement in my Study and Thinking Skills course [and still contains the same grammatical errors].

Ayos lang naman

2011-11-28T03:59:00.000+08:00

X: O kamusta Diliman?
Y: Ayos lang.
X: Musta ang grades?
Y: Ayos lang. Mayroong uno, 1.5, 1.75, at dos. Dos ako sa English eh.
X: Ok lang 'yan. Musta Krus na Ligas?
Y: Ayos lang din. Kung no lang yung dati na nakita mo.
X: Eh yung mga kasama mo sa kwarto? Di ba apat kayo?
Y: Oo. Hindi naman umuuwi yung bumbero dun e. Tamabakan niya lang ng gamit.
X: E yung isa sa Engineering?
Y: Yung taga-Mandaluyong?
X: Oo yata? Siya ba yun?
Y: Di ko masyadong nakakausap. Salungat ang schedule namin.
X: Eh sinu-sino kausap mo dun?
Y: Wala.
X: Ano ba yan? Nakatira ka ba talaga dun? E yung isa yung naabutan ko dun noong summer?
Y: Ah yung Law student?
X: Oo yun!
Y: Gabi pasok nun. Tapos madaling araw uuwi. Nagba-blog yata. Tapos tulog buong araw.
X: E di napapanis laway mo dun?
Y: Ayos lang. Nakakapag-aral naman ako eh.
X: E sina Kuya Francis at Ate Doris? Hindi ka kinakausap?
Y: Bihira lang naman at kapag nagbabayad lang ako ng upa.
X: Eh yung mga anak nila di ka nakikipaglaro?
Y: Hindi. Anong lalaruin namin? Pero alam mo an cool ng mga pangalan nila. Si Dudoy yung lalaki.
X: Ah yung panganay na lalaki?
Y: Hindi. Siya yung bunso. Si Dudut ang panganay.
X: Haha. Cool name. Eh anong pangalan ng babae?
Y: Si Duday.
X: Hahaha. Eh ano bang palayaw ni Kuya Francis? Di naman 'D' ah.
Y: Malay ko. Siguro dahil 'Doris' yung nanay.
X: Oh ano namang pinag-uusapan niyo ni Dudoy?

Y: Wala. Bumabati lang siya. Kapag umaga aalis ako naglalaro siya, at paglabas ko ng kwarto babtiin niya ako ng "Good morning Kuya Clarence."
X: Hahaha. Eh anong sagot mo?
Y: Eh di "Good morning Dudoy."
X: Anti-social ka kasi. Dapat kinakamusta mo na rin.
Y: Tama na yun. Sa hapon naman pag-uwi ko "Good evening Kuya Clarence." naman.
X: Hahaha. Automatic ah!
Y: Oo naman. Kapag maaga-aga akong umuwi, "Good afternoon naman."
X: Ipagpatuloy mo yang performance mo. Basta sabihin mo kung may problema ka.
Y: Oo. Ayos lang naman.

*Bahagi ng usapan namin ng bunso kong kapatid, isang self-proclaimed 'anti-social'. Ayos lang naman.

'Endangered' Soon

2011-11-26T20:18:00.000+08:00

With the ever-advancing technology, nothing could more impossible. It keeps on expanding, (like the universe) and thereby continue to efface some old things and traditions, including the good ones.

E-books are making their way into the market (the equivalent of conventional printed books) in the West and soon to hit the Asia in a larger scale when more people will be baited to purchase electronic devices that support E-books.

The Diamond Sutra, a Buddhist Holy text (868 AD), found in a cave in Dunhuang, NW China in 1907 is the earliest printed book to bear a date.

Now that printed books become less popular, bookstores (one of my dream business) are now forced down to close (because they can do nothing easy).

I don't blame Steve Jobs, but this sad thing sucks. Compared to US, Philippines is not that much of a reading nation because:

1. Books here are considered luxury because poverty is myopic.
2. Government does not tax imported books which kills the potential of local and budding writers because there is a tight competition in the market (that's another issue).
3. And kids are taught that everything is in TV.

In the country, for a book to be regarded as a bookseller it must have sold 2,ooo copies (at least). Or ask Jessica Zafra for an update for the figure.

Photos of bookstores closing down because nobody wants them anymore breaks my heart. And this is not the right way to save trees.

"I cannot live without books." --- Thomas Jefferson

I don't want E-books because I can no longer ask Audrey Niffenegger for an autograph someday. And I will always love to smell the pages of newly-opened books.

* Images are gathered through the wires. Credits to their rightful owners.

Hilariously Stupid Barangay Blotters

2011-11-24T18:56:00.000+08:00

BARANGAY

BLOTTER

Compiled by Carlo H. Andrion

The following are real excerpts (including punctuations, grammatical errors, capitalizations. and phrasing) from the Barangay Blotter of a Barangay somewhere in Luzon, Philippines. A blotter is a logbook containing the narrative reports of crimes, and accidents happened or just simply any libelous statements made that are reported to the barangay authorities. A blotter is somehow an acceptable legal basis on trial courts with respect to the affidavits reported and written by either the complainants or respondents.

The editor has compiled these blotters for entertainment purposes only. The editor now owns the original manuscript of this blotter and is by far not intended for public reading. Names, location, plate numbers of vehicles, entities involved or any other relevant information were changed to protect their real identity. Read and learn through the mistakes of others.

1. “Mr. Pedro Pedra coordinated on Barangay Secretary. Was told me dat confile a blotter. Purposes he have a suspek to do a negative symbol sign.” (Iniisip ko kung anong negative sign ‘yan. Integers ba yan?)

2. “This is to certify that Mr. Emilio Katigbak received the amount of (Php. 1,000.00) one thousand pesos to Mr. Melchor Quirino as payment of motorcycle accident w/ plate no 06-UR-0178.” (Ate sana nagkakaintindihan pa kayo ng nobyo mo mag-usap. Ang labo eh.)

3. “Stating on your statement Mr. Dhan Correa; Mr Dennis Caldero; once he file any positive sign. He, Follows for statement of Dennis Caldero. Any purposes. I can pursue dat statement. My security purposes.” (At positive sign naman ngayon.)

4. “This is certify Mr. Manoling Cabading custody of Barangay Chairman Jose Ganda of Barangay Inuman, San Miguel, Batangas motor vehicle N9090 return to the ownership. Released for the Chairman. RELEASED!!!” (Relax 'te.)

5. “Barangay Councils respondent of Mr. Potchi Frutos running out with the house & back again with house. Called with bottle of Redhorse.” (Wow. Makatakbo nga at bumalik kasama ang bahay!)

6. “I’m Mr. Manny Lenio Ive lose my wallet in place of hauz of Matoldz or Lisa Mona. Between 2 to 5 PM. That this wallet have important things.” (Ibalik niyo na!)

7. “Mr. Peti Burgos conversation of Mr. Justin Gomez. While Mr. Peti Burgos says to Mr. Justin Gomez that all sarguelas that stopled all. Next month I converzation every night and days ‘Pwede kitang etumba’ says Mr. Peti Burgos to Mr. Justin Gomez. The purpose of this blotter is safed. Any purposes of this argument should affixed the signature of Mr. Justin Gomez.” (Every night and day[s], lyrics ata ng kanta iyan.)

8. “Mrs. Pining Garcia crawted with left face & back of body to Mr. Voltaire Perez. Mr. and Mrs. Pining Garcia front back with her families for her grandfew. Touch with her sister with the back of body. Crawted with her families.” (New member of the family: Grandfew.)

9. “On the month of September 24, 2008. Im going to the town of Isla Puting Kabayo Mrs. Barnnie Aquino Im filing a blotter against from hem. She says an appropriate words. The residencia lot without consint of authorities.” (Appropriate words naman pala daw eh. Nagsumbong ka pa?)

10. “…the goat was sold out…” (Ubos na raw ang papaitan. Gulay na lang.)

11. “Ms. Manuela Manuel declare that they clean the house that the properties of mango dont do a necessary movement.” (Hindi naman talaga gagalaw mag-isa ang puno ng mangga. Haha)

12. “Ms. Perly Ciel wants to dischange the house cause the land of house and lot embodied was [was] [was] [were] embodied! (Words in the brackets were crossed out)

13. “Ms. Mila Son she coordinate with chairman during a while lying on bed who can damage her.” (Hala! Ano yan? :-O)

14. “This is to certify that Rolando Mendez received the following item: 1. Which is fishbol.” (Pati fishball na-blotter? Baka 'goldfish' ang ginamin sa fishball kaya may gold!)

15. “As a proof that this settlement should affixed his signature. Mr. Dan Tan should satisfy that the damages of his motor should settle.” (Hindi naghihilom ang sira ng motor ate. Di yan tao.)

16. “From the respondent Mr. Reggie Paglingayen without license while driving of Mr. Dante Dantes. The plate number of motor vehicle was taken away.” (Driving without license po…)

17. Ms. Rickie Flora that Michael Vitug they can conversation while Kgd. Isko Dacer give a wrong signs that should not respect them the kgd’s even though the brgy chairman. Converzartion hes mother they pursue while he can converzation. He constrate the ashtray he broken while converzation.” (Oo na. Nag-usap na sila! ‘Yon na ‘yun!!)

18. “…coordinate brgy secretary to file a blotter against from Ramil Salud for protecting hes self. He drunk alcoholic while saying not good words.” (Uminom siya ng isang taong lasing!!)

19. “Stating of complaint one week ago hes son was already kidnapping which is name Tito Rodriguez at residing of Mt. Olympus at age of 46 hes son April was already broken family.” (Haba ng sentence mo Manang di naman kita naiintindihan!)

20. “When I passed by along the road sighting sight tru to Mr. Armando Robredo III on the date of February 8, 2009 to Mr. Roxas the date of February 8, 2009 along side of sight of Mr. Roxas after luch.” (Ano na-sight mo? Nahilo ako dito. Panalo ‘to!)

Can you copyread this? Lol. Second installment to follow!

Matuwid na Daan nga ba?

2011-11-16T13:13:00.004+08:00

Matuwid na Daan Patungong Luisita?

Gunita ng isang masalimuot na tunggalian

“Ang paghuhugas-kamay sa nagaganap na tunggalian sa pagitan ng mga makapangyarihan at maliliit ay nangangahulugan ng pagkampi sa panig ng mga makapangyarihan, at hindi ng pagiging neutral.” (Freire,1967)

Hacienda Luisita, sa lawak na higit 6,435 na ektarya o pinagsamang kabuuang sukat ng mga Lungsod ng Makati at Pasig ay ang ikalawa sa pinakamalawak na contiguous na asyenda sa bansa. Matatagpuan sa lalawigan ng Tarlak, sakop nito ang labing-isang barangay sa maraming munisipyo sa dalawang distrito ng lalawigan. Unang itinatag noong 1881 bilang Tabacalera, isang monopolyo ng tabako noong panahon ng Kastila. Ngunit dahil sa pagaay ng rebolusyong HUKBALAHAP noong 1950’s, naibenta ito kasama ang Central Azucarera de Tarlac.

Simula ng Matuwid na Daan

Nabili ni Jose ‘Pepe’ Cojuangco, (ama ni Cory Aquino) ang asyenda sa pamamagitan ng isang loan mula sa GSIS noong 1958. Bunsod ito ng pagkiling sa kanya ni dating pangulong Ramon Magsaysay upang hindi na ito mabili ng pamilya Lopez na noo’y nagmamay-ari na ng MERALCO, Negros Navigation, Manila Chronicle, ABS-CBN, at iba pang malalawak na lupain sa Kanlurang Bisaya. Sa naganap na bilihan, nakasaad na pagkatapos ng sampung taon ay marapat lamang na ibahagi ito sa mga arendador: ang mga magsasaka.

Iniwan ni Pepe Cojuangco ang pamamahala kay Ninoy Aquino na nagpasimula ng isang maka-masang pagtrato sa loob at labas ng asyenda: libreng gamot at check up, libreng edukasyon at scholarship sa kolehiyo, libreng pagkain, pantay na pamamahagi sa mga ani, libreng pangangalaga sa mga bata, libreng pagpapalibing, pabahay para sa magsasaka, at libreng gasolina sa traktora. Hindi naging negosyo ang Hacienda Luisita noon dahil na rin sa pag-unawa na ang halaga ng Luisita ay sa mga magsasaka na nagbubungkal nito. Ito rin ay nagsilbing rehabilitasyon ng mga manggagawang-bukid na naging alipin sa ilalim ng dating Tabacalera.

Dahil sa makataong pagtrato, ni minsan walang nangyaring sigalot sa loob ng asyenda. Nagwakas ang makatarungang pagtrato sa magsasaka nang unti-unting mawalan ng kontrol si Pepe Cojuangco at Ninoy Aquino pagsapit ng rehimeng Marcos.

Paglihis sa Matuwid na Daan

Noong Disyembre 2, 1985 sa ilalim ng rehimeng Marcos, napagdesisyunan na marapat na lamang itong ipamahagi sa magsasaka. Simula noon, mas iginiit ng pamilya Cojuangco ang kanilang karapatan sa lupain. Mas umigting ang tunggalian. Apat na lider ng mga unyon ng mga manggagawa sa Asyenda ang pinaslang hanggang noong Pebrero 26, 1986 nang tuluyang maluklok si dating pangulong Cory Aquino matapos mapatalsik si dating pangulong Marcos.

Nangako naman ito ng malinaw na hakbang sa pagpapatupad ng maayos na pamamahagi ng mga lupaing agraryo sa mga magsasaka: partikular na ang Hacienda Luisita. Sa pangakong tunay na reporma, naipasa ang Comprehensive Agrarian Reform Act noong 1988. Nang sumunod na taon, sa bisa ng CARP at pamamagitan ng MOA (Memorandum of Agreement) ipinatupad ang Stock Distribution Option (SDO) sa halip na ang Land Distribution.

“Dahil sa SDO mas naging miserable ang buhay ng magbubukid.” pahayag ni Lito Bais, ang kumakatawang Pangulo ng United Luisita Workers Union (ULWU). Naging layunin umano ng SDO na linlangin ang mga magsasaka sa pamamagitan ng pagpipiliang ‘YES TO SDO’ o ‘NO TO LAND’ nito. Ang SDO ay bahagi ng Stock Distribution Plan ng CARL 1998 (Comprehensive Agrarian Reform Law).

Layunin ng batas na ipamahagi sa mga magbubukid na walang lupa ang mga pampublikong lupang sakahan at mga pribadong lupaing lalagpas sa limang ektarya ang laki. Sa ilalim nito maaring mabawi ang lupain sa pamamagitan ng SDO. Sa SDO, ang mga magsasakang piniling magkaroon ng shares ay tatanggap ng pera buwan-buwan batay sa stocks. Papasanin rin ng mga stockholders o ng mga magsasaka ang utang ng kumpanya dahil rin sa unti-unting pagkalugi nito.

U-turn ng DOLE at DAR

Upang tuloy na makapanggipit, ipinatupad ang mechanized farming sa Asyenda noong 2001. Ayon kay Lito Bais, halos 300 ang tinanggal at karamihan naman ng mga natira’y seasonal o halos isang araw na lamang sa isang lingo kung makapagtrabaho sa arawang-sahod na 9.50 piso. Kaya bilang aksyon, dumulog ang ULWU sa DOLE dahil sa nangyayaring tanggalan at pagka-tengga ng mga manggagawang-bukid. Naglabas umano ng desisyon na makatwiran ang nangyaring pagbabawas dahil sa pagkalugi ng kumpanya.

Sa kondisyon na malugi ang kumpanya, maaring makuha ng mga magsasaka ang parte nilang lupain. Ngunit kabalintunaan ang kinalabasan. Ayon sa DAR, kumikita umano ang mga beneficiary nito kaya hindi pa maaring ipamahagi. Ang tinutukoy na kita kada buwan ay nagkakahalaga ng 17 sentimo, ang pinakamababa.

“Ang nangyayari, kahit saan kami pumunta, talo talaga kami.” dagdag pa ni Bais.

Ang SDO at iba pang katulad na mga pakana ay malinaw na isang pandaraya ng reporma sa batas agraryo. Ang SDO, bilang isang patakaran, ay dapat matagal nang inabanduna. Ang SDO ay malinaw na hindi reporma.

Masaker ng Karapatan

Dahil sa di makatarungang pagtrato, ikinasa ang strike noong Nobyembre 6, 2004. Kasama ang marami pang progresibong grupo, pinangunahan ito ng ULWU at CATLU (Central Azucarera de Tarlac Labor Union), Umani sila ng suporta kahit sa mga relihiyosong grupo tulad ng Iglesia Filipina Indipendente (IFI) at United Church of Christ in the Philippines (UCCP). Nahamig pa ng strike pati ang mga residente ng Luisita hanggang sa umabot sa tinatayang 14,000 ang bumuo sa piketlayn. Matapos ang limang araw, hindi pa rin natinag ang linya. Binarikadahan ng ULWU ang Gate 1 ng Asyenda na siyang pasukan at labasan ng mga produktong tubo samantalang sa Gate 2 naman ang CATLU, upang mapigilan ang paglabas-masok ng mga manggagawa ng asyenda.

“Ang dami naming demands para makipag-usap ngunit ang laging tugon sa amin ay dispersal.” pahayag ni Bais.

Nobyembre 10, 2006 naglabas ng Assumption of Jurisdiction (o ang utos sa pagpigil sa kahit anong uri ng pag-aaklas ng mga manggagawa na di pwedeng hindi sundin) ang Department of Labor and Employment sa ilalim ni dating Sek. Patricia Sto. Tomas. Binantayan ng halos tatlong batalyon ng militar (Nolcom) at pulisya (PNP) ang asukarera. Sunud-sunod ang tangkang pagbuwag sa pinagsamang piketlayn ng mga magsasaka at manggagawang-bukid.

Matapos ang pagpapasabog ng tear gas noong mga naunang araw, pinaulanan ng bala ang piketlayn ng mga magsasaka at manggagawa ng asukarera noong Nobyembre 16. Marami ang tinamaan. Pito (7) ang nangamatay at daan-daan ang nasugatan.

Maniobra ng Hustisya

Noong Enero 2005, isinampa ng mga naulila ng mga biktima ang mga kasong kriminal at administratibo sa Ombudsman laban sa mga matataas na opisyal ng militar, PNP, DOLE, at ilang miyembro ng pamilyang Cojuangco-Aquino. At noong sumunod na taon, nagpalabas ng resolusyon ang Ombudsman na tinatanggal bilang respondent sa kaso ang mga matataas na opisyal ng gobyerno tulad ni dating Sek. Patricia Sto. Tomas, at maging ang pamilyang Cojuangco-Aquino. Lahat sila ay absuwelto sa kaso.

Ayon sa mga kaanak ng biktima, malaki ang pananagutan ng pamilya Cojuangco-Aquino sa masaker. Hindi naman raw umano maaring gawin iyon sa bakuran ng asyenda nang walang pag-ayon mula sa pamilya.

Bago naman maisampa ang kaso sa Ombudsman, nagkaroon rin ng serye ng imbestigasyon sa senado. Pareho ang nangyari sa pagdinig na ginawa rin sa kamara – walang nangyari. Si Pangulong Noynoy Aquino ay kongresista pa noon para sa ikalawang distrito ng Tarlac. Matapos rin ang masaker siya ang naging tagapagsalita ng asyenda at ng pamilya Cojuangco.

Sa huli, mga mabababang opisyal na lamang ng militar at pulisya ang nasampahan ng kaso. Hindi na nakagugulat na nakabinbin pa rin ito ngayon at ang mga akusado ay laya pa rin ngayon. Kasabay ng pagdausdos ng hustisya sa Senado at Kamara, hindi na rin malaman kung ano ang resulta ng kaso sa Commision on Human Rights o kung may naging resulta nga ba.

At kamakailan lamang noong Disyembre 11, 2010 pinulong umano ni PNoy ang labing-isang Punong Barangay na nakakasakop sa asyenda sa isang lugar malapit sa Robinson’s Luisita. Pagsuhol raw umano ito dahil hawak ng mga opisyal ng barangay ang kontrol sa pagbibigay ng permiso sa kahit anumang pagwewelga ng mga union upang idaos.

Lumang ‘Lupang Pangako’

Muli’t-muling nauulit ang pambibilog sa mga pagal na magsasaka. Tatlong henerasyon ng pagkakait sa karapatang matagal na dapat nilang tinasa.

Pepe Cojuangco: matapos ang sampung taon na palugit at sumapit na ang 1967, walang lupang pangako ang nakuha.

Cory Aquino: sagot umano ang CARP, pero mas lalo lamang naging komplikado ang dilemang kinasadlakan ng mga magsasaka. Mas lalo pang lumala ang kalagayan.

Bago ang halalan noong 2010, isang pangako ang binitawan ni PNoy, ang ipamahagi na ang lupain sa mga magsasaka kapag siya’y nahalal. Iyon na raw ang pinakasagot sa isyung agraryo na matagal nang pinagsamantalahan. Nanalo at lumipas ang isangdaang araw sa panunungkulan, walang lupang bigay ng mga huwad na panginoong may-lupa.

“Matapos ang tulakan at bunuan ng lakas, akala namin ay napagwagian na naming ang laban ng araw na iyon. Mali pala. Maraming dugo muna ang kailangan nilang idilig sa natutuyo nang lupa.” patapos ni Bais.

Sa huli, nananaig ang tunggaliang wala naman dapat karapatang umiral sa simula pa lang. Kung talagang sinsero ang gobyerno at ang pamilyang Cojuangco-Aquino sa tinatawag nilang ‘tunay na repormang agraryo’ hindi na kailangan pang umabot sa dahas, at pagpaslang sa mga dapat na may-ari ng lupa --- ang magsasaka, dahil sila ang masa, ang tunay na dahilan ng demokrasya. #

Sanggunian:

Philippine Collegian Vol. 88, No. 10-11 Sept. 2, 2010
Lito Bais, United Luisita Workers Union
http://pinoyweekly.org/new/2010/11/katarungan-sigaw-pa-rin-ng-mga-magsasaka-ng-hacienda-luisita
http://la.indymedia.org/news/2009/09/230275.php
http://www.wsws.org/articles/2006/jan2006/phil-j18.shtml

Eksodo ng karapatan: tatlong henerasyong pagkaganid sa Hacienda Luisita

2011-11-16T13:13:00.003+08:00

Eksodo ng Karapatan
Ang tatlong henerasyong pagkaganid na umiiral sa Hacienda Luisita

Higit isang oras rin ang naging biyahe mula sa sentro ng lungsod ng Tarlak upang marating ang kabahayan ng mga obrerong gumagawa para sa Asyenda. Bigla kong naalala na dito pala galing ang mga tubong iniluluwas sa aming bayan sa Pangasinan. Madalas kapag dumadaan sila noon sa tapat ng aming bahay sisigaw kami ng ‘unas’ na tubo sa salitang Pangasinan. Nayayamot kami noon, sampu ng aking mga kalaro kapag hindi nila kami binabatuhan sa tuwing sila’y dadaan. Sisigawan naming sila ng ‘imut’ o madamot.
Pero sa araw na ito, batid ko na ang kanilang sentimyento. Hindi ko alam na sila pa itong matagal nang naging mapagbigay sa kanilang panginoong may-lupa. Kung alam ko lang sana noon.

Mas payak pa sa simple ang pamumuhay ng mga mangagawa sa Asyenda. Habang tinatahak namin ang kubong pagdarausan ng Basic Mass Integration (BMI) nadaanan namin ang maraming kabahayan. Wala ako halos narinig na ingay ng telebisyon o radyo na nakasindi sa lugar. Tanghali noon, marahil sa lahat nang pinagdaanan nila wala na sila sigurong panahon upang magpa-petiks pa.
Sa paglalakad, sumusunod sa aming paghakbang ang tingin ng mga matang tila may hinahanap. Mga matang uhaw sa karapatang ninakaw ng mga makapangyarihan. Mga matang umaasa na sa bawat estrangherong mapapadpad sa lupang pangako’y may magandang balitang hatid.

Doon ko nakilala si Poy at si Carlos. Sila ay pawing miyembro ng Samahan ng Kabataang Demokratiko ng Asyenda Luisita (SAKDAL). Ang mga makabayang Kabataan na sa Asyenda ko lamang nakita. Mga aminadong hindi nakapag-aral ngunit mas matatas pa kung ihahalintulad sa mga nakapagtapos sa kolehiyo dahil sa bulag sa mga kaganapangng sosyo-politikal sa lipunan. Sila ang mga kabataang, bagaman salat sa kayamana’y may direksyon at layunin ang buhay. Mga dahilan kung bakit ko sila itinuring na makabayan.
Itinanong nila ang akin ang personal kong dahilan tungkol sa aking pagparoon. Nais kong malaman ang ugat ng tunggaliang hindi naman dapat maranasan pa ng mga abang manggawang-bukid. Gusto kong maki-simpatya sa kanilang hinaing. Palakasin ang kanilang boses sa lipunan at gobyernong kumiling na sa panginoong may-lupa. Gusto kong patunayan na may mga tao pa ring naniniwala para sa karapatan ng mga maliliit at ang pagkampi sa mga naaapi.

At biglang tumayo si Carlos, naglalakad papalayo at maluha-luhang lumabas ng kubo. Tahimik ang iba ko pang kasama sa grupo. Parang nagpaulit-ulit ang pangyayaring iyon sa aking isipan. Tumatak iyon at lubusang binago ang aking pananaw.

PagkaHumaLIng sa Salapi, Panlilinlang, at Pang-aapi
Halos batid na ng lahat ang usapin sa Hacienda Luisita Incorporated (HLI). Sa sobrang dalas ng pagdaan nito sa ating mga pandinig, lumalabas na lamang ito sa ating mga tenga. Palasak kung maituturing ngunit siya nakalingatan na natin.

Napasakamay ng pamilya Cojuangco-Aquino ang HLI noong 1958 sa pamamagitan ng isang loan sa Government Service Insurance System (GSIS). Ayon kay Lito Bais pangulo ng United Luisita Workers Union (ULWU), nakasaad sa kasunduan na agad rin itong ipapamahagi sa mga magsasaka matapos ang sampung taon. Nakalulungkot isipin na matagal nang ipinagkait sa mga manggagawang-bukid ang dapat ay para sa kanila.

Dumating ang panunungkulan ni Cory, hawak pa rin ng pamilya ang kontrol sa lupain. At dito na sila sinimulang linlangin. Isinabatas ang Comprehensive Agrarian Reform Law (CARL) na sa ilalim nito ay ang pagpapatupad ng Comprehensive Agrarian Reform Program (CARP). Orihinal na layunin sana nito ay ibahagi na ang lupain sa mga magsasaka. Ngunit hindi doon natapos. Nagkaroon ito ng opsyon: ang Stock Distribution Option (SDO) sa ilalim ng Stock Distribution Program (SDP). Sa halip na ipamahagi ang lupa ay magkakaroon ng stock ang mga beneficiary nito. Masarap lamang pala sa pandinig.

Dahil sa bago ito sa pandinig, marami ang pumirma sa unang bugso ng pagpapatupad nito. Kung sa arawang sahod ay makakatanggap ang obrero ng P9.50, sa SDO ay bumababa pa sa P0.17 o labing-pitong sentimo ang nakukuha ng isang stockholder nito. May pangyayari pa umano na magbibigay ng tulong pinansyal ang pamilya at papipirmahin. Nakakagulat at nakakabigla na ang mga pirma ay nakalakip na sa listahan ng mga beneficiary na sumasangayon na sa SDO. “Dahil sa SDO, mas naging miserable ang buhay naming.” ani Ka Lito.

Nagpatuloy pa ang serye ng panlilinlang. “Nagkaroon ng Memorandum of Agreement (MOA) noon sa ilalim ng CARL. Kasama ang pagpipilian ang SDO o Land Distribution (LD). Nakakapanloko lamang dahil ang pagpipilian ng mga beneficiary ay ‘No to Land’ at ‘Yes to SDO’. Sobra na talaga.” Dagdag pa ni Ka Lito.
Taong 2001, nagkaroon ng upgrading ang HLI. Mas naging mechanized na ang pagsasaka na nagbunsod upang bumaba ng halos hanggang 300 na lamang ang magsasaka’t mangagawang bukid.

At nitong 2004 lamang, pinaikot-ikot sila ng mga ahensya ng gobyerno. Muling binuksan ang kaso. Nagkaroon ng rebyu ang pagpapatupad ng CARP sa HLI. Nagkaroon ng maraming ulit na petisyon. Naglabas ng desisyon ang Department of Labor and Employment (DOLE) sa ilalim ng rehimeng Arroyo na “nararapat ang pagbabawas ng manggagawa dahil nalulugi na ang HLI.”

Dahil sa pahayag na nalulugi na ang HLI, dumulog ang ULWU sa Department of Agriculture (DA) para sa agarang paglilipat ng mga titulo sa mga magsasaka. Ngunit “kumikita ang mga beneficiary” ang naging tugon nila. Tinukoy nila ang mga nasa ilalim ng SDP na tumatanggap ng kita kada buwan. Kita para sa kanila ang P0.17 o labing-pitong sentimo.

: Larawan sa piling ng mga naging kasamahan at guro sa HLI.

Hanggang Libingan
Nobyembre 6, taong 2004 ikinasa ang isang malaking strike. Naparalisa ang operasyon ng HLI. Nagwakas ang strike matapos ang sampung araw sa pamamagitan ng inilibas na Assumption of Jurisdiction o ang pwersahang pagbuwag sa piket line na humantong sa isang masaker. Labing-apat ang nangamatay. Halos sangdaan ang sugatan, at daan-daan ang dinampot.
Nalungkot at nangilabot ako nang makita ko na ang bubungang sapin ng kubo ay ang tarpaulin ng mga listahan at larawan ng mga manggagawang walang-awang pinagbabaril ng mga elemento ng militar at pulisya.
“Maraming dugo pa ang kailangan nilang idilig sa lupa.” ani Ka Lito.
Naisip ko, ilan pa kayang manggawa ang dapat mahirapan upang maibigay sa kanila ang dapat ay para sa kanila? Ilang henerasyon pa ba ang dapat lumipas para ‘tunay’ na pakinggan ang kanilang hinaing? Ilang mga kabataang tulad nina Poy at Carlos ang dapat pang agawan ng pangarap nang dahil sa sigwa?
Umalis ako, sampu ng aking mga kasama at tuluyan nang nilisan ang Asyenda. Baon ko ang pangarap at hangarin na sana’y makamit na ng mga obrero ang hustisya’s karapatan na dapat ay matagal nang naiatang sa kanila. Nangangarap na sa aking pagbalik, mga matang hindi na binigo ng bulok na sistema ng lipunan ang sasalubong sa akin. At isang mala-tubo sa tamis na ngiti ang aking iniwan sa mga taong bumago sa aking buhay. ###

: Tamis ng Kamusmusan: Mga batang nagsisipaglaro at nagkakatuwaan sa isang tumpok ng mga nabubulok na tubo.

Charlie St. Cloud and the Passenger by Chance

2011-10-09T13:08:00.004+08:00

Charlie St. Cloud and the Passenger by Chance
06 October 2011

“I believe in miracles.” *1
The tiny raindrops create a hazy glow of orange beam from the halogen lamp in the streets which eventually penetrate the soul of the drizzle. There was a soulless man in the evening: who walked lonely like a cloud. The face of ambivalence, lost in the sea of other human beings. All dressed up --- nowhere to go.
“Of course I remember, but you seem to have forgotten the predicate nominative. The correct syntax is It is I.” *2

That was I.
“There was enough to raise questions, but not enough for answers.” *3

Not by chance, of which I presume, I reached the bus stop.
As I see it, bus stops are like turning points of our lives. You left some so that you can proceed for some. People travel, as always. People are never satisfied.
Across the street, a bus stop faces another bus stop. Just like the North faces the South, they pursue opposing directions which will never meet. They will be constantly parting, which made the cold night gloomier.
“On the horizon, he saw the full moon. God dropped it there, he was sure, as a reminder of our small place in the world. A reminder that what is beautiful is fleeting.” *4

It was a moonless night. Logically wrong because every night there comes the moon. We just have failed to notice it most of the time.
I waited for the bus. I have been spending my last six years of my life riding busses where I see and meet a lot of people, a lot of soul, a lot of their lives. But as easy as they come, they go together with their memories. Parts of it left with me, some has gone with them.
It took me more than an hour to wait for another because I didn’t catch the first one. Like the way I missed the moon that night.
“It was just so sudden, so unexpected. I never even had time to say good-bye.” *5

Then the bus came along. It’s time to go.
I walked through the aisle spotting for a vacant twin-chair. There! Second row. Left.
Then I sat beside the window.
The bus carries only fifteen passengers that evening. And there shall be other 30 human beings which missed this trip, or maybe cut their trip short. I can no longer guess.
I found myself satisfied with my seat. I am ready to browse the novel which I have been reading since yesterday, The Death and Life of Charlie St. Cloud when a woman of thirties, a corporate worker, sat beside me.
I felt quite dismayed because I just want some solitude when I am sad. No more asking but I just want to.
I can do nothing easy. I was unable to transfer to another seat because I am sitting next by the window. I just have to make myself comfortable reading.
“The gloom was gone, and the light had almost encircled them.” *6

I got my ticket, punched 32 pesos. The woman got hers, 40 pesos. I’m going farther yet I will pay lesser. One of the life’s ironies.
Then out of nowhere, she asked me:
“Magkano ang student fare”? (How much is the student fare?)
“Trenta y dos po.” I said. (Thirty-two Ma’am.)
“Okay.”
I didn’t answer anymore. But I know, she is looking at the book I am reading. She’s kind of curious. Maybe she recalls Zac Efron on its cover.
“Charlie Street Cloud?” she smiled.
“I guess Charlie Saint Cloud?” I smiled back.
“Thanks for correcting. The novel is about?” she then retorted.
“Miracles. About the miracles we believe in and the ones we don’t accept. The miracles we always fail to notice. And the miracles we deny.” I smiled again. This time, it’s sincerer."
“I bet there’s a film adaptation of that book?
“My friend told me so. But I don’t watch film adaptation of the books. They never give justice to it. The books are more real, stranger, and livelier. They talk and appeal to me personally.”
“Do you believe in miracles?” As she shifts the conversation.
“Sometimes I don’t.” I replied.
“There’s always a miracle. My mom was diagnosed with cancer four years ago. Terminal. And no more remedies. I didn’t give up. Instead I prayed more. I didn’t ask. I just hoped for the better, for her healing.”
“Has she recuperated already?”
“No. She died. She didn’t survive. Whether she has overcome cancer or not, I still believe that there are miracles. Just like this. Of 6 billion people living today, pursuing their dreams, we’re here sharing stories with each other. Isn't that a miracle?”
I just gave her a nod after long pause of silence.
And of course my good-bye for that evening.
It’s time for her to go.
She alighted from the bus and I stared at the window. Outside the cold, lifeless, moving chunky object, she looked back at me and smiled. I smiled back.
“They came, they coped, and then they moved on.” *7

A wanderer in the city journeys during the cold humid night. The moon was hiding behind the dark hazy clouds. Crickets were chattering. Exchanges of words permeate from unknown people sharing the same journey of the moment. Unread sections of the book from Chapter 9 waiting. And a great humbled conversation.
Now it's time for me to go.
###

*1 Introduction, page 1

*2 Chapter 6, page 48

*3 Chapter 1, page 12

*4 Chapter 1, page 18

*5 Chapter 6, page 48

*6 Chapter 4, page 25

Excerpts from the book The Life and Death of Charlie St. Cloud (Ben Sherwood, 2004)

Audacity

2011-09-23T21:43:00.000+08:00

Guardhouse, Pangasinan State University Urdaneta | September 23, 2011

"We declare our right on this earth...to be a human being, to be respected as a human being, to be given the rights of a human being in this society, on this earth, in this day, which we intend to bring into existence by any means necessary." --- Malcolm X

I’m Legal Already*

2011-08-19T03:05:00.003+08:00

I’m Legal Already*

I just turned 21. Yes. I am aging, as most humans do. That’s part of nature. Everything has a dead end. We have just to abide with that rule.

I'm 21 already.

We all go through this phase: maturity. I view maturity as the threshold of full growth of a person. Many people fall shortly in equating maturity with age. Old men always claim that they are mature enough, and that the younger ones must oftentimes follow them --- blindly. Remember the men in the Senate? They always think that they all know everything and that they can always conduct inquisition on anything. Yes. Just anything: NBN-ZTE Scandal, AFP ‘Pabaon’, PCSO Anomalies, Kho-Halili Scandal, Unclad football players’ billboards, and many others. You choose! But clearly, most of the cases are just cases: no resolution, no justice. I am a fan of the cliché ‘justice delayed, is justice denied’. True enough. I have one word: lame.

Maturity has nothing to do with age. I would rather say that time have something to do with it. Time is the very culprit when we blame something all because we couldn’t explicate something to ourselves extensively. Just like in “we have the right love, at the wrong ‘time’”. Poor time. She always doesn’t know what to do.

Except age, we presume that wisdom is the by-product of maturity and time. We regard people of high intellects as superior (if you don’t value monetary wealth) than those who lack schooling. And so whether you were hindered by poverty or not, you’re useless if you didn’t go to college. Wrong.

Maturity for me is to read, not between the lines, but to comprehend the gist what is beyond those lines. I am an observer, and I have witnessed the worst-case apathy of the youth today.

And I always ask questions like this, “What can you say about PNoy’s second SONA?”

The replies were:

“I like him. He’s very very honest and straightforward.”

“Fair. He did a good job in a year.”

“I just don’t care.”

“Sorry I didn’t read that on Trending Topics. No idea.”

“What is SONA?”

These answers were provided by people, who by far have reached the so-called ‘bachelor’s’ level. They took, or at least they are taking General Education subjects, like Philippine Politics, Philippine History, Taxation, Sociology, or any course that shall interest them with regards to socio-political issues.

How come they don’t know? Oh you have a cable TV and you just could not manage to watch for local news. Or maybe you are very busy tweeting and that, if it’s not on trending topics, you are a moron to it?

Remember, you don’t need to be a politician to watch local news. You just have to be a Filipino in mind, heart, and soul.

As a pro-active member of the youth sector, we must at least know what the heck the government is tweeting, oh I was joking, that was supposedly doing. Yes they do stuffs too, I mean they work. Doing work that they will let us know but really do not matter. And the conspiracies that remain undisclosed to us.

Oh frantically, we are moving in a sphere where we should learn to build human relations. We are in a society. Yes, we have that in university: Math Society, Astronomy Society, Hotelier’s Society, Pet Society, and many others. Many societies permeate to the extent that we are now unable to fathom what society is really a society.

We don’t leave our constitutional rights at the door of our school. (Findlaw, 2006) Similarly, we do not, also, leave our logical reasoning when we exit the university gates. (Andrion, 2011) We are imbued into a larger society outside. And it is only proper to think why many people could not afford to buy food for their family in spite of the exaggerated claims of the government that we have a growing economy.

I am exposed to the illness of this society: where people rarely trust their government because the government could not trust its own people. I must agree with Inquirer Columnist Randy David, that we are living in a society where ‘institutions are weak’, and that, we could only do is, activism.

We will go back to the ‘traditional’ way of vigorous and aggressive action in pursuing political and social ideologies. Activism, as I know it, is ‘not the enthusiasm of the moment, but a philosophy for a lifetime’. That part was from a biography written by Bertolt Brecht.

2011 Labor Day Rally at Angeles City.

There’s much in activism. If thousands of youth didn’t walk out of their classrooms last November 2010, will the government have the time to listen that higher education funding is not enough? How about the MRT-LRT fare hike? Oil price hikes? Union-busting? Land disputes? Agrarian reform misfits? The PUP 5? Morong 43? Calamba 7? And where in the world did the government hide Karen and Sherlyn? Do you know Jonas Burgos? Ericson Acosta? Randy Malayao? Where are these noble people?

The government will pursue anti-people policies if you don’t shout at them. Just like an old man with his hearing being impaired. He will never know, unless you shout.

I have been into rallies. Maybe 6 times, 7, 8, or more, I couldn’t count. What’s behind rallies? What are the ideologies that the noisy activists cling to? You will never know unless you know what causes the plight of the people.

We are not anti-government. We are pro-people. They are way different and not inter-changeable.

Finally, last night, I said to my mom, “Aktibista ako.” After months, I am legal already.

*For the people who are still hoping that it is not too late to save the world. Padayon!

Mambabae Lamang ng Ayon sa Hitsura

2011-08-13T01:34:00.001+08:00

Mambabae Lamang ng Ayon sa Hitsura

Pasintabi sa ‘Umasal Lamang ng Ayon sa Ganda’ ni Lourd de Veyra.

Hindi ko naman dapat i-blog ito dahil naniniwala ako na hindi dapat pagtuunan ng pansin ang labas na kaanyuan ng isang tao. Ngunit dahil hindi naman nasasaad sa Bill of Rights na bawal manghusga ng tao base sa hitsura, papatusin ko na. Pagbigyan mo na ako, minsan lang.

Okay. Ito ‘yong punto. May nag-confide sa akin, kaibigang babae, (patawarin mo ako hija. Sinabi mong sikreto lang natin pero hindi naman ako umoo.) na medyo hindi naging maganda raw ang pagtatapos ng relasyon nila ng nobyo niya. Nagkataong kilala ko rin ‘yong lalaki. At nasabi sa kwento nung babae na:

(Semi-verbatim) “Na-two-time ako. Kaya nakipagkalas na ako agad.”

Napasagot na lang ako ng “Uhh, okay.”

“Dapat daw subukan ko rin para daw may thrill. Sa hitsura niya.” dagdag niya.

“Ayos din siya a. Hindi ko nga maisip na gawin iyon.” Kako

“Oo nga! Mas may hitsura ka naman doon . . . pero . . . gwapo ka rin naman, uhmmm. . . umanggulo ka lang. Haha.” Sabad ng isang tsismosa. Ako pa tuloy ang napagbuntunan.

Pero kupal talaga! Lakas ng loob na magsyota ng dalawa. Nakakainsulto dahil naunahan at dinaig niya ako. Jowks. Pero seryoso, nakakapang-init ng dugo. Susog pa nga ng isang kaibigan ko, “Pasalamat pa nga siya at pinatulan siya ng babaeng okay ang hitsura. Swerte na nga siya dun tapos magdadagdag pa.” Natawa na lang ako. Pero sa totoo, nakakalalake ang isyu.

Wala naman na dapat akong pakialam sapagkat may mas importanteng mga bagay pa akong dapat intindihin. Pero itong si kupal na two-timer e proud pa sa ginawa niya. Kelangan daw ng thrill. E kung ibitin ko siya ng patiwarik sa Zoobic Treetop Adventure at doon siya magyabang?

Kanina sa klase namin sa management at sa hindi-malamang kadahilanan, napunta ang diskurso sa pagpaplano sa suliraning gaya nito:

“Kung ikaw ang judge sa isang award-giving body para sa Ulirang Ama Award, sino ang pipiliin mo?”

Una, Lalakeng hindi babaero ngunit lasenggo at hindi nagtatrabaho , at hindi pinag-aaral ang mga anak.

Ikalawa, Lalakeng mapera, pinag-aaral at may maayos na buhay ang mga anak na mula sa iba’t-ibang nanay.

Kung ako ang sasagot, sasabihin kong WALA. Dahil sa Award-giving body maaaring walang manalo. Parang sa Palanca, Pulitzer, at Nobel. Kung dalawa ang maglalaban, o mediocre ang mga choices, wala talaga. Hindi naman kasi tiyak na ang mga nominado ay ‘karapat-dapat’ nga bang talaga.

Ngunit kupal din yata ang propesor ko at dinagdagan pa niya ng problema ang suliranin na nakaka-stress sa lipunan.

“Dapat may manalo sa dalawa!” (Nag-e-echo yung ‘dalawa’.)

Isang lalake at babae ang tinanong niya sa klase at pareho nilang pinili ang ikalawa.

Gusto kong magwalk-out sa klase.

Pero hindi ko ginawa. Ngunit pinangaralan ko na lang ang mga katabi ko.

Hindi ako devout Catholic o Christian na nagsisimba tuwing lingo. Hindi ako nagdarasal . . . para sa sarili. Hindi benta sa akin ang moralidad dahil kasangkapan lamang iyon, at imbentong guni-guni mula sa kawalan upang takutin ng mga mananakop ang mga pagano na mapaparusahan sila ng bathala kapag hindi sila umanib sa relihiyong pronta ng kolonisasyon. In short, wala akong relihiyon.

Ngunit nanininiwala ako sa diyos. Na ang diyos ay nasa bawat bahagi ng bagay, hayop, at nilalang sa kalikasan. Na ang diyos ay hindi tiyak kung siya ba ay ‘he’, ‘she’, o ‘it’. Ang tiyak lamang ay may diyos sa sansinukuban at responsibilidad natin na gamitin ang katawan at kahduwa natin sa ‘maayos’ na pamamaraan na makabubuti sa atin at sa kapwa natin, tao man iyan, hayop, o bato.

Mayabong ang pag-intindi ng tao sa kalikasan.

Kaya hindi bumubuo ng ‘extrang’ pamilya ang isang lalake dahil lamang sa gusto niya. At hindi tayo nakikipag-sex kahit kanino sa kahit anong lugar, sa kahit anong panahon dahil lang sa gusto natin. Iyon na lang ang threshold natin sa iba pang kasama natin sa Kingdom Animalia, siyempre bukod sa pagba-blog.

Siguro ganoon na nga. May iba’t-ibang pananaw at pagtanggap tayo sa lahat ng bagay- panlipunan. Masyadong maraming opinyon. Siguro minsan, hindi masamang tanungin rin natin ang ating mga sarili.

May mga lalakeng nambababae, gwapo man o hindi. Gusto kong bugbugin si Marcel ng Temptation of Wife. May mga babaeng nagmamaganda, maganda man o hindi. May mga lalakeng marunong magpahalaga sa salitang ‘pagmamahal’, gwapo man o hindi. At may mga babaeng kahit maganda e hindi nagmamaganda. (Lucy Torress: [/], Shalani Soledad [/] Kris Aquino [X])

Ang resolusyon ng diskurso sa klase, may anak sa labas ang propesor ko. Alam ng asawa. At maayos niyang tinutustusan. Pero kung itatanong mo kung ano ang hitsura niya +g@#!b*%d#k$*f@$qx?

Kaya siguro okay rin na gawing campaign ang “Mambabae lamang ng ayon sa hitsura.”

Disclaimer: Kung sakaling kamukha mo si Marlon Stockinger, wala ka pa ring karapatang mambabae.

Bakit? Basta wala!

Puso ang Lumikha ng Kaguluhang ito

2011-08-05T23:46:00.002+08:00

Puso ang Lumikha ng Kaguluhang ito

Naalala kita kanina. Sa bus. Maulan sa labas. Malamig. Nakatutok ang air-con sa aking mukha. Namamanhid. Nanlalamig.

Ikaw ang nagbigay ng unang tingin. Nobyembre 2009 noon, habang hinihintay natin ang publication adviser natin para pumanaog sa gaganaping Student Press Conference. Hindi tayo magkakilala. Ngunit nagtagpo ang ating mga mata, nagsangang-daan mula sa kawalan. Nagkangitian lamang tayo. Hanggang sa marating natin ang lunan. Doon sinabi mo na wala kang kilala sa mga bago nating kasama. Ako rin naman. Kaya natuwa ako nang sabihin mong “tayong dalawa na lang ang magkasama.” Pumayag ako. Simula noon lagi ka nang nakahawak sa mga braso ko --- bilang kaibigan.

Wala sa akin noon iyon. Para bagang isang normal na bagay. Normal na bagay mula sa mga hindi normal na pangyayari sa aking buhay. Hindi ko inakalang hahanap-hanapin ko ang mga kapit sa aking braso ng isang kaibigang tulad mo.

Natapos ang Press Conference, nanatili tayong magkaibigan. Sabay na tayong nananghalian tuwing araw ng pasok. Sabi ng mga kaklase ko, ipakilala ko naman daw sa kanila ang bago kong ka-relasyon: at ikaw raw iyon. Nahihiya ako sa iyo sa tuwing naririnig mo iyon. Dahil hindi nga naman tayo. Ipinaliwanag ko na ang lahat ng iyon ay nag-uugat sa isang malalim na pagkakaibigan. Buladas lamang daw ako, bakit ko pa raw itinatago. Muli akong dumipensa na wala naman talagang namamagitan sa atin na hihigit pa sa pagkakaibigan. Hanggang sa sabihin ng mga kabarkada ko sa akin, ang mga mga namumutawing matatamis kong ngiti sa tuwing dadalawin mo ako sa Silid 104. Sa tuwing hinihintay mo ako upang mananghalian. Sa tuwing sumasadya ka roon dahil gusto mo lang ng kausap. Sa tuwing nasisilayan kita.

Wala sa akin noon iyon. Nagdalawang-isip na lamang ako, wala naman talaga sa akin iyon, nang minsan mula sa kawalan at katahimikan ng ating usapan sa kantina ni Tita Ellen, “kapag break na kayo ng girlfriend mo, tayo na a.” , kasunod ang malapad mong mga ngiti. Nagitla ako. Inakala ko kasing niloloko mo lamang ako --- na alam kong bihira iyon sa pagkatao mo. Tinanong kita, “sigurado ka?”. Umoo ka.

Wala sa akin noon iyon. Mga apat na buwan mo rin akong niyaya sa alok mong tila isang biro pa rin na nagpapanting sa tenga ko.

Wala sa akin noon iyon. Taong 2010 na, hindi mo na ako kinukulit ng “kapag break na kayo ng girlfriend mo, tayo na a.”. Aaminin ko, na-miss ko iyon. Kung bakit ba naman kasi ang tao hinahanap ang mga bagay na wala na sa kanya. Siguro ganoon nga talaga. Patuloy tayong naghahanap ng mga bagay nang hindi natin nalalaman na nasa paligid lang pala ang hinahanap natin.

Wala naman sa akin noon iyon. Nang dumating ang taong 2011, naka-tatlong karelasyon ka na. Hindi pa kasama ang mga binasted mo sa mga manliligaw mo. Hindi ko naman maitatanggi na na-attract din naman ako sa iyo. Tanga na lamang ang lalakeng hindi mahuhulog sa iyo. Meron kang gandang hindi naluluma. Alam ko, wala kang panama kay Sam Pinto, ngunit iyong ganda mo, iyon yung klase na ‘panghabambuhay’. Iyong tipong gandang iingatan ng isang lalake hanggang sa kanyang huling hininga. Bukod doon, talentado ka. Nanalo ka nga sa Luzon-wide Press Conference e. Tapos, marunong ka pang kumanta. Kahinaan ko sa mga babae y’on. Ikaw ang unang nagparinig sa akin ng Two is Better than One. Sa iyo ko unang narinig ang Filipino version ng Runaway ng The Corrs na para sa akin, ang galling ng iyong pagkakakanta. Pero lahat ng iyon ay pawang maliliit na detalye mula sa tulad mong napakalaking pangyayari sa aking buhay. Kumbaga sa The Time-Traveler’s Wife maari mong sabihin sa akin na, “I was the big event.”

Wala naman sa akin noon iyon. Hanggang sa unti-unti na akong nasasaktan sa tuwing may kasama ka ng iba tuwing pananghalian. Hanggang sa pag-uwi mo, hindi na ako ang kasabay mo sa dyip. Hanggang sa hindi na tayo sabay kumakain ng soft ice cream sa 7-11. Hanggang sa dumalang na ang mga texts at tawag mo.

Wala naman sa akin noon iyon. Hanggang sa nalaman kong ikaw na pala ang laging nasa isip ko. Hanggang sa lagi ko binabasa gabi-gabi ang mga text messages mo bago matulog. Hanggang sa ipanagdadasal ko na na sana bukas, matiyempuhan man lamang kita --- nang nag-iisa, nang walang kasama. Upang makausap ka. At muling maranasan ang halakhak at ligaya habang kausap ka.

Pinagbibigyan rin naman ako paminsan-minsan. Madalas hindi. Pinagkakasya ko na lamang ang maigsing panahon na paminsan-minsan, na hindi mo kasama ang mga naging nobyo mo at nakakausap mo ako.

Wala naman sa akin noon iyon. Hanggang nitong huli, noong magpunta tayo ng Maynila. Hulyo 25, hindi ko malilimutan iyon. Dumalo tayo sa anibersaryo ng org natin. Dalawa lamang tayo mula sa pamantasan. Nauna akong dumating sa lunan. Sumunod ka, at sinundo kita dahil hindi mo alam ang gawi. Ang lugar na iyon ay Intramuros. Lugar na kung saan isinara ng mga pader. Tulad ng ginawa ko sa damdamin ko sa iyo simula ng una kitang makita, siguro ganoon na nga katagal.

Naisip ko, puso natin ang gumagawa ng kaguluhan. Puso ang nagdidikta kung sino nga dapat. Puso ang nakikiramdam. Puso ang naghihinagpis. Puso ang lumilimot. Puso ang muling magmamahal ulit. Lahat ng nabanggit ay itinakwil ko, maliban sa huli. Ang aking puso ay muling nagmahal ulit, salamat sa iyo.

Nilisan natin ang Intramuros. Apat na oras pang biyahe pauwi. Sumakay tayo noon ng air-conditioned bus. Madaling araw noon, alas-dos ng umaga. Sa bus. Maulan sa labas. Malamig. Nakatutok ang air-con sa aking mukha. Namamanhid. Nanlalamig. Ngunit nangingibabaw ang init ng damdamin. Matapos ang maraming buwan ng mailap na pag-uusap natin, nasolo kita. Sa bus. Maulan sa labas. Malamig.

Tinakbo ng usapan ang biyahe. Pagod at patay-katawan ngunit pinapawi noon ang lahat habang kausap kita. Hindi ko na nga maitatanggi. Mahal kita. Ngunit sa bus tayo ay pangkaraniwang magkaibigang babae at lalake. Wholesome kumbaga. Alam ko kasing may limitasyon, bagaman nag-uumapaw ang damdamin.

Mahal kita. Maaaring erotikong pag-ibig ito. Hindi ko maitatanggi. Lalake naman ako. Ngunit higit pa doon ang pag-intindi ko sa pag-ibig. Mahal kita kahit hindi naimbento ng diyos ang ‘procreation’. Pero hayun nga, nasa kontemporaryong diyalektiko na siya at mahirap patunayan na kaya mong magmahal ng tunay ng walang seks.

Para sa akin ang pag-ibig ay iyong buong magdamag kayo na magkausap lang, ngunit natatagalan ninyo ang isa’t-isa. Iyong tipong nag-uusap lang kayo habang-buhay pero nararamdaman niyo pa rin ang pag-ibig. Kaya sa tingin ko, kaya ko naman siguro gawin iyon, basta IKAW.

May aaminin nga pala ako sa iyo, (dahil umaasa akong binabasa mo ang blog ko, bagaman malabo). Noong sinabi kong may karelasyon ako, tungkol doon sa alok mo, nagsinungaling ako. Wala naman talaga akong karelasyon noon. Siyam na buwan na kaming hiwalay ng ex ko. Pero ayaw ko sumuong at sumugal sa pakikipagrelasyon sa iyo ng higit pa sa pagkakaibigan dahil:

Una, hindi pa ako sigurado sa nararamdaman ko.

Ikalawa, bagaman gusto na kita noong simula pa, para sa akin panloloko ang pakikipagrelasyon sa tao dahil lang ‘just for fun’.

Ikatlo, malalim ang pagpapahalaga at pag-intindi ko sa salitang pag-ibig. Bumabangga at umiigpaw ang salitang iyon sa ‘threshold’ ng distansya, panahon, at burgesya.

Noong nag-selebra tayo ng kaarawan mo sa Press Room, gabi ng Setyembre, kasama ang iilang kaibigan, pinilit kong pagtakpan ang mga emosyon sa birthday message ko sa iyo. Ayaw kong malaman mo na mahal na nga kita. Kaya ang mga emosyon, natunaw kasabay ng mga asukal sa cake. Ngunit naiwan pa rin ang tamis sa tinapay.

Ayaw kong madaliin ang sarili ko sa pakikipagrelasyon at pag-ibig, at ikaw rin. Masyado nang maraming pangkaraniwang bagay ang kinakaharap natin sa mga buhay natin araw-araw. At sana, hindi na kabilang ang pag-ibig doon.

Kaya muli, kung umabot ka sa puntong ito, at kung sakaling nagbabasa ka nga ng blog ko, o interesado ka sa mga sinasabi ko, mahal kita kahit napakagulo na ngayon ng lipunan.

“Ang mga puso natin ang lumilikha ng kaguluhan.”

Ang puso ko ang lumikha ng mga kaguluhang ito.

Ampatuan, and Anne Curtis

2011-07-15T03:14:00.002+08:00

Warning: Fiction unless backed up with links.

OMG! Eeeeeh!

Name Change

Zaldy Ampatuan Jr., one of the principal accused to the gruesome murders in 2009 that brought the country high in the impunity index cuts ties with his father Andal Sr. and brother Andal Jr. by signing an affidavit attesting to his father's and brother's roles in the massacre.

“Willing po ako mag-testify, sabihin kahit sino man ang involved, magulang ko man o kapatid, at kahit sino man involved para sa ikakalutas ng problemang ito at pawang katotohanan lamang ang aking sasabihin. (I’m willing to testify and speak the truth, even if my testimony will involve my father and brother),” he said in an interview.

However, Justice Secretary De Lima has dismissed the possibility of considering Zaldy Jr. as a state witness (from being one of the accused.) Citing De Lima's point, if it would have been, the statement of the witnesses will only contradict it. "We don't need him." says De Lima.

Since the request has been denied informally, Zaldy Jr. decides, because of great shame, no longer want to use the most-dreaded surname of the 2009.

We conducted a poll of what surname should Zaldy Jr. and his family use once the fantasy-request has been granted. Here are the results:

A. Zaldy Arroyo - since they're very close friends.

We'll devour them! Rawr!

B. Zaldy Bieber - as he's singing to De Lima "..I know you want me.." as a state witness.

C. Zaldy Gonzales - for giving him the hope to be a state witness. Raul Gonzalez is my bestfriend!

D. Zaldy Aquino - after endorsing PNoy for 2010 Prexy Elections.

E. Zaldy __________ - comment in for your suggestion.

The Gang-raped Preggy

After rumors have spread all over the wires citing a gang-rape committed by the four members Philippine Azkals, here's a real story of a gang-rape overseas somewhere in Dammam, Saudi Arabia.

The ill-fated Filipina who works as a school cleaner in a university was 'bangbus-ed' (raped) by 3 Arab men inside the service bus of the university where she's working. She was offered a ride after attending to her check-up. The 34-year-old woman, who is 9-months pregnant has only been working for about a year, while his husband was in Ha-il who works as a waiter. The husband was very very furious when informed of his wife’s plight. He even said very very bad words in the streets.

Back to the Pipland (Philippines)

Princess of All Media, Actress, Host, Product Endorser, and soon to be Recording Artist Anne Curtis Smith (as she describes herself) releases her first solo album (Wow. She sings? How true?) entitled "Anne-Bisyosa" in today's episode of KrisTV after discovering the wonders of autotune.

Anne rode in MRT to get to Kylie Minogue concert. (Who's Kylie Minogue btw?)

Released under VIVA Records, the album was set to destroy the meaning of 'singing'. The album features three duets with Pop Princess Sarah Geronimo with the songs "Total Eclipse of the Heart", "Alone" and "Too Many Walls". Anne also has a duet with rapper Andrew E. in the said album.

However, some groups are seeking a class suit against parties, and people who encouraged Anne to do the album.

Ogie Alcasid, president of the Organisasyon ng Pilipinong Mang-aawit (OPM) was urged by many budding Pinoy singing artists to set qualifications, and control measures to those celebrities who want to cross the threshold of 'singing' from merely lip-syncing: Vice Ganda, Marian Rivera, Manny Pacquiao, Willie Revillame, among others.

Poll Question:

Ano ang masasabi mo sa "Anne-Bisyosa" album ni Anne Curtis?

A. The title speaks for itself.
B. Pwede na! Iisipin ko na lang hindi si Anna 'yan!
C. Maganda talaga si Anne. Period!
D. Wow kumakanta na si Anne? Kaya ko naman din siguro.
E. Pakialam mo ba? E kung siya nga ang may pera't fans. Inggit lang kayo!

When the Eggs Get Caught

2011-07-11T15:12:00.000+08:00

Warning: Fiction unless backed up with links.

Courtesy Benchtm.com

"Napuna ko lang na yung billboard na malalaki, na sa tingin ko na hindi angkop sa mga bata."said Valenzuela City Mayor Gatchalian to the members of the media last July 8.

Mayor Gatchalian is heeding for the immediate dismantling of the huge billboard of the members of Philippine Volcanoes Rugby Team. Of which he finds a 'kakampi' in the person of Mayor Benhur Abalos of Mandaluyong where the 'bird-boards' were located.

Andre Woolf a member of the Volcanoes, regarded this act as 'politicizing'.

"Philippine Volcanoes are endorsing Bench and promoting a team na lumalaban para sa ating bansa, hindi lang billboards promoting ourselves to political popularity." (Wolff via BBM)

Mayor Gatchalian defended, "Kung sa ibang tao tingin nila ito ay artistic, ito ay maganda, pero sa ibang tao ito ay offensive at ito ay hindi maayos, lalong-lalo na sa ating mga kabataan."

"Nagkataon lang na yun lang ang pinakamalalaki na billboard. Iyon lang ang napuna ko." Now, Mayor Gatchalian is convinced that it is BIG.

Another member, Ned Stephenson, said he saw nothing wrong with the ad campaign.

To be fair, there are other 'lewd' billboards in the metro.

Like this:

"The Mayor of Mandaluyong is having the #Bench #Volcanoes billboards removed.Dati ba wala bang nakalagay na billboard na my nakabrief?," tweeted Andrew Wolff.

Does that mean we could remove also Mayor Abalos' posters in Mandaluyong? It seemed like every corner of the street is occupied with same face.

Happy to 'catch' the birds.

Now, the empty billboards.

War, and Peace, and Car

2011-07-07T09:09:00.003+08:00

Warning: Fiction, unless backed up with links.

With the recurring blast of the PCSO anomalies, some netizens stated that this could trigger the battle between the government and the church. Not the war that someone need a shell and certainly not the war that where one needs an ancient warship!

BRP Rajah Humabon (PF-11)

Despite the controversies, Malacanang insisted that they (gossipmongers) should stick with the issue, not with the personalities. Sure thing. (Trying to pretend that they're objective enough.)

Bishop Bastes of Sorsogon cleared that 'everything was incidental' and that having a gift (SUV is more than a gift) from PCSO is just a result of auditing. One of the anomalies that PCSO is committing. (Trying hard to escape eh?)

What the Palace has to say? "Let's stick with the issues." (Valte) Sounds cliche. K.

However, Bishop Bastes commented on the manner of ongoing Senate investigation as it zeroing in the poor bishops who, according to him, do it for the love of their people. (Bravo!)

"There are many corrupt things in PCSO do not involve 'bishops'." (Yes father.) The incident was just a 'little' thing over many things. (As the sophism proceeds.)

Should we be “thankful" to the bishops because they are doing things the government failed to do?

Tondo Feeding Center and Remote Area in Metro Manila

Overseas, peace is now temporarily attained in South Sudan. Yuba is now the capital of the new-birth nation. Now it's people is living at ease (at least), until the US government will come to realize that there's much greater deposits of oil there.

Back to Pipland, critics were shocked when they heard that PNoy sold his car, Porshe 911. This ultra-mega fast car is worth 4.5 Million.

Now that PNoy is no-faster, that could mean he's not rushing with his lovelife anymore?

I couldn't tell either.

President Noy is an anagram of Nerdiest Pony.

Of Crayons and Colours

2011-06-25T15:06:00.001+08:00

I bought myself a 16-colour crayon yesterday. I’m 20 at the moment but numbers just can’t kill the child in me. There’s no point using crayons in my course. I’m in engineering and everyone knows that when drafting our own house plan, it is illegal to have it colored. Figures of houses and its different parts and portions come bland.

Most of the time, when I am still awake during wee hours finishing some portion of the plan, I often ask myself, “If this could have been colored, will the drawing look better?” or “Will the drawing look more vivid?” or may be “Will the drawing be alive?” Until now, I can’t answer it. Still not sure at this moment, I never tried.

Maybe the drawing will look lousy. How would a crayon color the drawing film? Bits and pieces of crayons will not spread thoroughly on film. Maybe it will only crap up the whole plan. Or maybe I still don’t know.

Crayons, colours, and oh papers, we have so much of those in this world. Every country has enough paper, enough crayons to color them, and enough children to let those paper colored.

The concept of crayons was originated in ancient Egypt where beeswax binds with other colour pigments into stone process. While the cylindrical crayons was first produced in 1600. My 5th Grade art teacher said it was called encaustic. We melt crayons and smear it on a thick paper, it was totally fun and awesome. I guess other adults must try that. And if they have did it before, then why not do it again?

Crayons teach the kids to be creative. And we were taught to imagine. Crayons provided the colours and proved that the world is full of wonders. After all, if crayons weren’t invented, I think Mona Lisa couldn’t have that enigmatic smile.

Crayons often boxed in green and yellow (if that’s Crayola) hasn’t change since 1937. The only change made by Binney Company is to rename the ‘flesh’ color to ‘peach’. Nothing much has changed. Kids still smile when you give them a handful of crayons, more so if it is a 64-colour set with a sharpener right in.

I believe Rizal used crayons. Surely Ninoy used that too, as well as the Pope, Dalai Lama, Shakespeare, Galileo, and Joyce, and Lincoln, and Einstein, and Kennedy, and Dirac, and King. Prince William and Maria Sharapova enjoyed using crayons too. People used crayons when they’re a kid --- at least. Crayons are one of the few things human race has in common.

Sa ngalan ng Ama*

2011-06-19T15:08:00.000+08:00

Sa ngalan ni Ama*

Balkunaheng puno ng alala;
Iyon ay dahil sa iyo ama
Ginagambala ng nakaraan;
dumaang panahon na ika’y kapiling pa.

Madalas kang nakaupo
pag-alis at pagdating ko.
Ang sarap sa pakiramdam
na ako’y may madaratnan

sa tahanan. At ako’y magmamano
upang pangrespeto sa iyo.
Pinakamasarap na pakinggan
ang pagsambit mo

ng pangangamusta. Ito ang isa sa pinakakatangian ni ama
na di ko maiwawaglit,
ang pagpapakita niya ng pagmamahal
sa mga simpleng bagay.

Matagal na panahon man ang nakaraan,
nasa puso kita’t isipan.
Hindi ka man malingap ng mga mata,
Di man marinig ang iyong tinig,

at wala man ang kamay na aking inaabot,
narito ka sa aking puso,
buhay sa yaman ng alaala.
Kaya nadarama pa rin ang pagmamahal

na lubos na nagpakilala
ng wagas sa uri
hanggang sa oras ng iyong
pagkawala.

“ngunit sadya nga sigurong tungkol ito

sa mga hangganan. Gusto kong maglaho
ang lahat ng hangganan.
Gusto kong ipagbawal ang kamatayan.”

--- Iba’t-ibang Ngalan ng Hangin, Kael Co

*hindi ko ito tula. Gawa ito ng nag-iisa kong kapatid na babae na hindi nasilayan ang aming ama; sa apat na huling araw ng kanyang buhay. Mula ito sa drafts ng selepono niya, at hindi alam ang tungkol dito. Pasintabi Emma, ngayong araw ng mga ama.