Calvary Chapel Leatherhead Blog

Why Should Someone Commit to a Church?

2011-10-07T17:31:00.000+01:00

I often hear Christians say that they are part of the Church but not part of the church. In other words, they say they love Jesus and are having church wherever they go with other Christians. But the idea of committing to a local church is asking a bit much of them.

The local church is God's idea. Joshua Harris in the 2 minute video explains briefly why the church is important. He also wrote an excellent book called Stop Dating the Church.

God wants you to enjoy His fulness and part of that fulness is found in committing to a local body of believers. Don't miss this profound blessing.

Singleness Interview (Part 3)

2011-09-29T08:05:00.001+01:00

Here is the Part 3 of my interview with Mike Neglia of Calvary Cork on Singleness.

Singleness Interview (Part 2)

2011-09-22T10:49:00.002+01:00

Here is the 2nd part of the Singleness interview from the Scandinavian Conference by Calvary Cork. Visit Calvary Cork's website for other interviews.

Baptism, Part of the Great Commission

2011-09-16T15:10:00.001+01:00

The Great Commission calls us to make disciples and baptise them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Last Sunday we celebrated part of the Great Commission in a baptism service.

See a short video montage here:

Singleness Interview (Part 1)

2011-09-15T15:13:00.000+01:00

When I was speaking up at the conference in Scandinavia in August, I was interviewed by Mike Neglia, pastor of Calvary Cork on singleness. Below is part 1 of the interview.

Mission in the Workplace

2011-08-17T19:15:00.003+01:00

We, as Christians, are called to live out the truth of the Gospel of Jesus. That means using all areas of our lives as opportunities for God's mission to the world to show the glory of Jesus.

Josh Reeves, on his blog, gives 30 helpful tips for approaching your job missionally.

Here are the first few to whet your appetite. Pray through these and see which of these would be helpful tools in your workplace.

1. Instead of eating lunch alone, intentionally eat with other co-workers and learn their story.

2. Get to work early so you can spend some time praying for your co-workers and the day ahead.

3. Make it a daily priority to speak or write encouragement when someone does good work.

4. Bring extra snacks when you make your lunch to give away to others.

5. Bring breakfast (donuts, burritos, cereal, etc.) once a month for everyone in your department.

Click here to read more.

Unwavering

2011-07-14T03:20:00.013+01:00

It’s the middle of the night here in London. I’ve been back in the UK about 33 hours which means jetlag is in full swing. As I lay wide awake in bed my mind was meditating on unwavering faith, specifically the faith that Abraham had in Romans 4.

God had made a promise to Abraham, a promise that seemed impossible to keep. In fact in Romans 4:18, we read that Abraham hoped against hope. In other words, he had hope in a hopeless situation. What gave him this hope were the promises of God.

For those who are unaware, my brother Tony has been in a serious auto accident. His recovery is filled with good days and bad days, and it would be easy to find myself wavering or staggering at God’s promises. My hope must rest in that which is certain. This is what Abraham did. In Romans 4:20-21, we read that “no distrust made him waver concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, fully convinced that God was able to do what he had promised.”

If you find your hope wavering, it’s possible that it is placed in the wrong source. Abraham placed his hope in the promises of God. God does not lie nor change his mind. What are some of his promises that we can stand on in the roller-coaster of our hardships?

God is good and he works good in our lives. The Bible tells us in Mark 10:18 that God is good and in Romans 8:28 we see that everything he does is for the good of his people. I have very limited knowledge. I am not the Lord’s counselor, so I am in no position to tell him how he should act. Some of you may remember the film, Bruce Almighty. Not having God’s wisdom and trying to play the part of God, he found that rather than doing good in people’s lives, he was harming them. This is how it is when we try to tell God what would be good in our lives. It is for us to trust his goodness.
God is love and he works his love in our lives. The Bible tells us that God’s very character is defined by love (1 John 4:8) and that even the difficulties in our lives are actually fingerprints of his love at work (Proverbs 3:12; James 5:11). Even when I do not see the purpose in what God is doing, I can stand unwavering knowing that God loves those who trust in Christ his own.
God is committed and he sees his work to completion in our lives. Sometimes it seems like the difficulties never end. But the reality is God sees his works through to completion. He is unlike so many of us who begin projects and never finishes them. He completes everything he starts (Philippians 1:6). Whatever work he is doing in our lives, God is positively relentless in finishing the work. He doesn’t abandon us.

If you find yourself wavering in difficulties, have you considered who your God is? Is your God faithful in his promises? If you trust in Jesus, you can stand unwavering knowing that as the Scripture says, “He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it” (1 Thessalonians 5:24).

Hope

2011-07-06T01:42:00.000+01:00

This is a word that gets a lot of play. When we use the word hope, we usually mean that we should cross our fingers and wish for the best. Hope then becomes nothing more than positive thinking. But the Bible gives us a different perspective on the word hope.

Hope carries the idea of an expectation of good. Hope is coupled with certainty, that is to say, certainty regarding the future. The question then is not one of IF, but of WHEN. Romans 8:24 says, “For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees?” Hope is based in what is coming. It is far deeper than the mere crossing of fingers with earnest longings.

In the midst of tragedy, we can have hope. Hope that is anchored in Jesus brings confidence in God’s goodness, and thus peace in our soul. Even when the product of that hope is veiled, the certainty of that hope is sure.

How do we apply this in these circumstances?

1.) God has promised to do good in the lives of Jesus’ followers.

Romans 8:28, And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

We may not understand the why’s and how’s but we trust in the who.

2.) Ultimately, our hope is the God of power himself, not just what God can do.

Jeremiah 32:17, ‘Ah, Lord God! It is you who have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and by your outstretched arm! Nothing is too hard for you.

When we see how great God is, the things that seem so big to us are put in their right proportion. God is bigger and we expect good from God, and trust that God knows what is good more than we do.

3.) The hope for the Christian is stronger than the grave.

1 Peter 1:3, Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead,

This hope is not temporal. In other words, anything in which we place our hope in this life will ultimately fail us, whether today, tomorrow, or forty years down the line. But the hope that comes through Jesus conquers the grave and is eternal.

We can rest in hope. Hope that God is good, God is bigger than the crisis, and that God in Jesus conquered the grave which means there is hope of life.

Waiting

2011-07-04T01:46:00.010+01:00

I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I do hope; my soul waits for the Lord more than the watchmen for the morning. (Psalm 130:5-6)

When something happens that is bigger than us, there is a real sense of helplessness. All we can do whether 6000, 400, or 1 mile(s) away is wait on God and hope in his promises. We should choose to wait actively on God who makes all things beautiful in his time (Ecclesiastes 3:11).

I write this because it may be of some help and encouragement for some of you, as I apply waiting on God in the midst of a family crisis as my brother Tony lies in a coma. What does waiting on God in a situation like this look like? Here's what it looks like for me right now.

Realize my own powerlessness - not just in this situation, but in all things. My breath, talents, family, even when, where, and to whom I was born are all gifts of God. Nobody is the Invictus, captain of their fate and master of their soul. Therefore, since my own power is an illusion, I look to him who has all power. This causes me to ask God (pray) for my brother's life. I cannot grant life. My positive thinking might change my outlook, but it doesn't change circumstances. I have no power. Even the power the doctors have is a gift from God. It is to God that I must pray. At the end of the day, Tony is better off in God's hands than in mine.

Rest in my storms - my soul can wait even in urgency when I realize that God is in control. Waves can crash about and gail force winds can blow with such force that would cause uncertainty, despair, and confusion. But the soul that finds rest in God alone, is the soul that weathers the storm, for God gives strength in place of our weakness. My prayer is that God would sustain myself and all those in this storm, especially Tony for whom this storm is most real. Jesus was able to sleep in the storm on the Sea of Galilee while the disciples were in panic. I need to keep looking to Jesus who is the giver of real rest.

Rely on God's word - I find comfort, direction, encouragement in God's word (Bible). My thoughts can get carried away, but God's word is a plumb-line that brings me back to the place of a quieted soul which is trusting in the reality of God's truth.

Dealing with Life’s Crises

2011-07-03T01:32:00.001+01:00

This past week has been a roller-coaster emotionally. My little brother Tony was in a car accident with a lorry in California. He now lies in critical condition in a coma. I arrived here in California last Wednesday. I find the sheer intensity of emotion exhausting (my jetlag is probably also playing into that). We are spending a lot of time in the ICU and in the off hours we are at the hospital accommodation (for people with loved ones in critical condition). Having spoken to different people both at the ICU unit and at the hospital accommodation, there are certain themes that become very obvious. Evaluation of life is taking place in various family members of various families as the ones they love are in critical condition. Some are on the mend, others are still in the dark. Conversations I have had with people these past few days brought Ecclesiastes 7:3 to mind which reads, “Sorrow is better than laughter, for by sadness of face the heart is made glad.”

This means that in sorrow and hardship, the realities of life must be addressed and dealt with. There is a certain realness and authenticity in those who are in the throws of hardship. This is no time for games, but time for reflection and contemplation. And those reflections rightly applied are ultimately turned to gladness. Here are some of the things I am seeing.

In crisis people re-evaluate those things that are truly important in life. Life is full of diversions. Many things cry out for attention. To give one thing your attention is to withhold that attention from something else. Unfortunately it often takes a crisis to strip away all the veiling things in life to get to its core.
In crisis people come to grips with their own frailty and begin to turn to God. As the saying goes, “there are no atheists in foxholes.” Everyone I have spoken with regarding their loved ones in critical condition is saying things like, “We are praying.” GK Chesterton, the famous British author once said, “The worst moment for an atheist is when he has a profound sense of gratitude and has no one to thank.” It could also probably be said that the worst moment for an atheist is when he has a profound sense of helplessness and has nobody to call upon. It is interesting that so far everyone I have spoken with is quick to say they are praying for their loved one, and nobody is refusing prayer.
In crisis people must deal with their own mortality. Our society does many things well, but we are very poor at preparing one another for the reality that 10 out of 10 people will die. As a society we elevate youthfulness because when we are young, we think we will live forever. We try to botox away death. We do not know how to deal with this inevitability, so we ignore it. In the 18^th century, several years after the revival of John and Charles Wesley, the Methodists as they aged began to die in great numbers. One doctor who attended many of these Methodist Christians on their death beds said to John Wesley, “Your people die well.” Rather than ignoring their mortality all their life, they spent their life in preparation for it.

The bottom line is that in crisis, people get real. I myself am writing from the seat of crisis. But the beautiful thing is when we look to Jesus, he doesn’t waste the crises but uses them. I trust God is using this crisis that we (and especially that my brother Tony) are in. As you read this, please pray for my little brother: www.prayfortony.blogspot.com

What is the GOSPEL?

2011-04-26T10:47:00.001+01:00

Profitable Exercise

2011-04-08T13:34:00.000+01:00

Physical Exercise from Calvary Leatherhead on Vimeo.
Paul tells Timothy that physical exercise profits little. However, he doesn't tell Timothy that physical exercise has no profit. This short video points out three areas where physical exercise is profitable.

Taking Refuge!

2011-03-25T12:00:00.002Z

Taking Refuge! from Calvary Leatherhead on Vimeo.
In the demands of life, it is easy to forget our need to seek God and wait on him. Part of my monthly planning is to plan a day to get away and seek the Lord, not for ministry but for my own soul.

Update from Annie

2011-01-10T16:19:00.002Z

Update from Annie from Calvary Leatherhead on Vimeo.
Annie is coming to Leatherhead. Here is an update from her taken at the Calvary Chapel Missions Conference.

Triumph and Tragedy

2010-12-28T21:30:00.000Z

Triumph and Tragedy from Calvary Leatherhead on Vimeo.

What people so often view as triumph is tragic. But what is often viewed as great tragedy was the greatest triumph of all time.

Saint Nick

2010-12-24T13:36:00.000Z

It's Christmas! With Christmas comes loads of traditions. Sometimes we embrace traditions without giving them any thought. Other times we completely reject traditions considering them to be evil. Is there a balance that we as Christians should have? Click here to read an article in the Washington Post on this topic by Pastor Mark Driscoll.

Washington Post: What We Tell Our Kids About Santa

Social Network Christmas

2010-12-23T18:10:00.000Z

Social networking is all over the place these days. It has become a prime means of communication. I saw this video and thought all those on the Facebook scene would appreciate it.

Cancer is the Best Thing that Ever Happened to Me

2010-11-23T10:31:00.001Z

According to Cancer Research UK, every two minutes someone is diagnosed with cancer. Cancer is a very relevant disease of our times. This is a disease that comes in many forms. When diagnosed with cancer, some Christians question God's goodness, while in others their faith in God and His goodness is steeled by it. This video is a testimony of one young man whose faith in God and whose trust in God's goodness was not diminished by cancer, but rather strengthened though it.

Although cancer itself is a product of a broken world, God can use such brokenness to work towards true wholeness. When we recognize that God is good and God is working good through our bad state, then our response will be God is good here in my life.

Saving a Fool

2010-11-16T08:00:00.000Z

This morning I was reading in 1 Samuel 25. As always when I read the Scriptures I pray to my Father and ask a simple petition, "Father reveal Jesus to me in Your Word." If you are not in the habit of asking the Father to reveal Jesus in the Scriptures when reading your Bible, then you're missing out on the purpose and joy of the Scriptures.

I was amazed afresh at the grace of God as I read the account of a worthless man by the name of Nabal (whose name means 'fool'). David (anointed as King though he hadn't taken his throne yet) was protecting Nabal's flocks and shepherds. He had shown great kindness to Nabal. Nabal responded with selfishness and disdain towards David. David then came to attack Nabal for his harshness and ingratitude toward him. But as David was coming to execute justice on Nabal, Abigail (Nabal's wife) stepped in. She made a sacrifice on Nabal's behalf to David (1 Sam 25:18) and asked David (1 Sam 25:24-26) to exact the justice that Nabal deserved on her who was innocent of wrong.

David turned back his wrath because Abigail sacrificed on Nabal's behalf and as one innocent of Nabal's crime stood in his place of judgment, all the while Nabal was oblivious to what was happening.

This reminded me of the work of one greater than Abigail interceding for ones worse than Nabal unto one greater than David.

God graciously provides for all peoples the sun, rain, air. Here in the west we live in a land where we are free to be prosperous (in world standards, we are filthy rich). God daily provides for us generally living in safety and health because of God's grace toward humanity. Yet we despise God for his graciousness and claim that his care is unnecessary. Such is our fallen condition that God blesses us and takes care of us and we curse him for it. Our just due for such a response is God's judgment on our sin of rejecting his kindness to us. Because God is just, he will not ignore our injustice.

But in the path of the wrath which we deserve, an intercessor steps in - one greater than innocent Abigail, Jesus himself, who is innocent of all wrongs, steps in as a sinless intercessor. Jesus stands in the gap and makes sacrifice for us (Isa 59:16). His sacrifice is not cakes of figs, raisin clusters, wineskins, bread, roast lamb, but rather his own life. He stands in our place and as Abigail, he said, "On me, let this iniquity be." (1 Sam 25:24) Jesus on the cross bares our sin. The sacrifice of Jesus is enough to satisfy God's just wrath towards those who despise his kind care.

In Nabal's case, Abigail told him the news of her intercession and Nabal suffered what appears to be a stroke and died, which would seem to indicate anything but a spirit of gratitude for the sacrifice. In our case, messengers (Christians) go forth to tell others of the great sacrifice made on their behalf. Those who respond to this gracious news live. Those who spend their life rejecting it, like Nabal turn to stone (1 Sam 25:37) and the message does not penetrate their stone hearts.

We were all fools at one time (worse than Nabal as he rejected the kindness of David, but we have rejected the kindness of our Creator). The question is whether we will (like Nabal) continue in our foolishness or whether we will receive the wisdom of Jesus' saving work (1 Cor 1:30) becoming wise to salvation (2 Tim 3:15). Jesus graciously took the judgment we deserve that we might live the life that he deserves. Is this fair? No, but that's why we call it grace.

You've Been Re-made

2010-11-13T18:13:00.000Z

So often living in a fallen and broken world, we (as followers of Jesus) can forget what it means to be redeemed by Jesus. I saw this music video by Tenth Avenue North, which visually and lyrically illustrates what it means to be made new as a new creation in Christ (2 Cor 5:17).

Jesus died for all our sin and brokenness that we might be whole and blameless.

But I have prayed for you

2010-11-09T08:02:00.002Z

And the Lord said, “Simon, Simon! Indeed, Satan has asked for you, that he may sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, that your faith should not fail; and when you have returned to Me, strengthen your brethren.”

Luke 22:31–32

Life is hard. It doesn't matter who you are, life is full of difficulty. We live in a world that is tainted by sin which has caused suffering, broken relationships, sickness, and discontentment. These signs can be seen anywhere in the world. In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus tell us that all people will suffer difficulty (Matt 5:45). As if that wasn't enough, the person who follows Jesus gains an enemy - the devil. Because I follow Christ, sometimes I feel like there is a big red and white bulls-eye painted on my chest like in Gary Larson's Far Side Comic.

Peter experienced this reality when Jesus spoke to him in Luke 22. Jesus revealed to Peter that "Satan has asked for you." Imagine, the devil himself asking for you. Peter experienced that! In fact, it seems the more you serve God, the more known you become. There is an account in Acts 19 where a group of Jewish exorcists try to cast out a demon. The demon then says to them. "Jesus I know, and Paul I know, but who are you?" (Acts 19:15). These guys weren't even on the radar because they were not serving God but themselves. Paul however is mentioned here by name. This demon knew who Paul was. It seems that the more we serve and follow Christ, the more we are in the bulls-eye. I don't know that I'm important enough for the devil to ever seek me out personally, but certainly there is some demonic minion whose goal is to wreak havoc on my life to turn me away from Jesus. This can be very discouraging! No doubt it would have been frightful for Peter to hear Jesus say, "Satan's been asking for you Peter."

"But I have prayed for you". These were Jesus' next words. What an encouragement to know that Jesus has prayed for us. No matter the difficulty or the demonic opposition, we have Jesus on our side before whom all demons tremble in fear (Jas 2:19). If you are a follower of Jesus, know that Jesus is praying for you even now as you read this. The Scriptures declare that Jesus didn't just pray for Peter, but he is praying for you right now (Rom 8:34; Heb 7:25). Jesus' prayers are always effectual. That means Jesus is praying effectually for you right now. If you are discouraged or confused, take refuge in this truth: Jesus is interceding for you even now in the throne of God.

Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling, And to present you faultless Before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy, to God our Saviour, Who alone is wise, Be glory and majesty, Dominion and power, Both now and forever. Amen. (Jude 24–25)

Stop test-driving your girlfriend

2010-11-03T14:07:00.002Z

So often the world shapes the way we view how to approach some of life's most important decisions. We can go along with the world's sway without giving it a second thought. This article, written by Michael Lawrence, is well written and I thought it was well worth reposting here. Singles of both sexes (both in relationships and not) would benefit from this article. To read the article at the original site, click here (boundless.org).

"How do I know if she's the one?"

I can't think of a question I encounter more often among single Christian men. The point of the question is clear enough. But a rich irony dwells beneath the question. In a culture that allows us to choose the person we're going to marry, no one wants to make the wrong choice. Especially if, as Christians, we understand that the choice we make is a choice for life.

The question is not merely ironic. If what you're after is a marriage that will glorify God and produce real joy for you and your bride, it's also the wrong question. That's because the unstated goal of the question is "How do I know if she's the one ... for me."

The question frames the entire decision-making process in fundamentally self-oriented — if not downright selfish — terms. And it puts the woman on an extended trial to determine whether or not she meets your needs, fits with your personality, and satisfies your desires. It places you at the center of the process, in the role of a window-shopper, or consumer at a buffet. In this scenario you remain unexamined, unquestioned, and unassailable — sovereign in your tastes and preferences and judgments.

The problem of course is that as a single Christian man, not only are you going to marry a sinner, but you are a sinner as well.

From a consumeristic perspective, no woman on this planet is ever going to perfectly meet your specifications. What's more, your unexamined requirements for a spouse are inevitably twisted by your own sinful nature. The Bible reminds us that though our marriages are to be pictures of the gospel relationship between Christ and the church, none of us get to marry Jesus. Instead, like Hosea, we all marry Gomer; that is to say, we all marry another sinner, whom God intends to use to refine and grow our faith in Jesus.

So what's a guy to do?

Ask the right questions

To begin with, start with a different question. Instead of asking if she's the one, you should ask yourself, "Am I the sort of man a godly woman would want to marry?" If you're not, then you'd be better off spending less time evaluating the women around you, and more time developing the character of a disciple. Start by considering the characteristics of an elder that Paul lays out in 1 Timothy 3 and Titus 1, and work toward those.

Then you should ask another question: "What sort of qualities should I be looking for in a wife so that my marriage will be a picture of the relationship between Christ and the church?" If you're not sure what those characteristics are, then spend some time reading Proverbs 31, Titus 2:3-5, 1 Peter 3:1-7 and Ephesians 5:22-33.

Once you've asked the right questions, and once you've found someone you suspect fits the biblical description of a godly wife, you now need to decide whether to get married. And men, though this is a big decision, it's not a decision that should take too long. How long is too long for a dating relationship? The Bible doesn't provide a timetable (after all, most marriages were arranged during Biblical times). But it does provide principles that point us in the direction of making a decision to marry or break up in the shortest appropriate time.

Think like a servant, not a consumer

In 1 Thessalonians 4:6, Paul warns the Thessalonian Christians against "taking advantage" of their brothers or sisters. The larger context in the first eight verses makes clear that what Paul primarily has in view is sexual immorality, in which you take from one another a physical intimacy not rightfully yours.

But the text also suggests that there are other ways you can take advantage of one another in a dating relationship. And one of the primary ways men do this is to elicit and enjoy all the benefits of unending companionship and emotional intimacy with their girlfriends without ever committing to the covenant relationship of marriage.

Too often in dating relationships we think and act like consumers rather than servants. And not very good consumers at that. After all, no one would ever go down to his local car dealership, take a car out for an extended test drive, park it in his garage, drive it back and forth to work for several weeks, maybe take it on vacation, having put lots of miles on it, and then take it back to the dealer and say, "I'm just not ready to buy a new car."

But so often, that's exactly the way men treat the women they're dating. Endlessly "test driving" the relationship, without any real regard for the spiritual and emotional wear and tear they're putting her through, all the while keeping their eyes out for a better model.

The Scriptures are clear. We are not to take advantage of one another in this way. Instead, as Paul says in Romans 13:10, "Love does no harm to its neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law."

Remember that love is never easy

One of the myths out there is that if you just spend enough time searching, if you can just gather enough information, you'll find a woman with whom marriage will be "easy." The fact is, such a woman doesn't exist, and if she did, she likely wouldn't marry you. And that means that you don't need as much information as you think you do.

No matter how long you've dated, everyone marries a stranger. That's because fundamentally dating is an artificial arrangement in which you're trying to be on your best behavior. Marriage on the other hand is real life. And it's only in the context of day-in, day-out reality, with the vulnerability and permanence that marriage provides, that we learn what another person is really like. Some of the things we learn about each other aren't easy. But who ever said that love and marriage were supposed to be easy?

Men, the point of marriage is that we learn to love our wives as Christ loved the church. Yes, as Revelation 21 and Ephesians 5 tell us, one day, Christ's bride will be perfectly beautiful, without spot or blemish, altogether lovely and loveable.

But the church is not there yet. First, Christ had to commit himself to us, even to death on a cross. This is the model we're called to follow. It's not an easy model, but it is worth it.

So your goal should not be to date her long enough until you're confident marriage won't be hard, but to date her just long enough to discern if you're willing to love her sacrificially, and if she's willing to respond to that kind of love.

Remember that to commit does not mean to settle

Does this mean you should just "settle" for the first Christian woman who comes along? No, not at all. You should be making this decision in light of the qualities held out in Scripture for a godly wife, and you should marry the godliest, most fruitful, most spiritually beautiful woman you can convince to have you.

But you also need to be aware that you live in a culture that says the ultimate good in life is to always keep your options open, and that any commitment is inevitably "settling" for less than you could have tomorrow. You must reject that kind of thinking for the worldly garbage that it is. Did Jesus Christ settle for the church? No, he loved the church, and gave his life as a ransom for her (Mark 10:45).

Marriage is fundamentally a means to glorify and serve God, not by finding someone who will meet our needs and desires, but by giving ourselves to another for their good. So if you find yourself hesitating about committing to a godly, biblically-qualified woman, then ask yourself, "Are my reasons biblical, or am I just afraid that if I commit, someone better will walk around the corner after it's too late?" Consumers are always on the lookout for something better. Christ calls us to trust Him that in finding a wife, we have found "what is good and receive favor from the Lord" (Prov. 18:22).

Marry true beauty when you find it

Finally, the Scriptures call us to develop an attraction to true beauty. 1 Peter 3:3-6 describes the beautiful wife as a woman who has a gentle and quiet spirit, born out of her faith and hope in God, and displayed in her trusting submission to her husband. Men, is the presence of this kind of beauty the driving force for your sense of attraction to your girlfriend? Or have you made romantic attraction and "chemistry" the deciding issue?

Now don't get me wrong. You should be physically attracted to the woman you marry. This is one of the ways marriage serves as a protection against sexual immorality (1 Cor. 7:3-5). But we get in trouble, both in dating and in marriage, when we make physical beauty and "chemistry" the threshold issue in the decision to commit (or remain committed) to marriage.

Physical beauty in a fallen world is fading and transient. What's more, the world narrowly defines beauty as the body of a teenager, and scorns the beauty of motherhood and maturity. But in which "body" is your wife going to spend most of her years with you? Personalities also change and mature, and what seems like "chemistry" when you're 22 might feel like superficial immaturity 10 years later. Even over the course of a long courtship and engagement in the prime of your youth, physical attraction and chemistry are sure to go through ups and downs. We must resist the temptation to value the wrong kind of beauty.

No one lives in a perpetual state of "being in love." But in marriage, our love is called to "always protect, always trust, always hope, always persevere" (1 Cor. 13:7). If mere worldly, physical beauty is the main thing attracting our love, then our love will prove as ephemeral as that beauty. But if we have developed an attraction to true beauty, then we have nothing to fear. Marry a vibrant growing Christian woman, and you have Christ's promise that he is committed to making her more and more beautiful, spiritually beautiful, with every passing day (Rom. 8:28; Phil. 1:6).

More questions to ask

How then do you decide, in a reasonable amount of time, whether or not to marry the woman you're dating? Let me conclude with some more questions you should be asking.

Generally speaking, will you be able to serve God better together than apart?
Do you desire to fulfill the biblical role of a husband outlined in Ephesians 5:22-33 with this specific woman? Do you want to love her sacrificially?
Does this relationship spur you on in your Christian discipleship, or does it dull and distract your interest in the Lord and his people? Are you more or less eager to study God's word, and pray, and give yourself in service as a result of time spent together?
Do you think she will make a good discipler of your children?
What do other mature Christian friends and family members say about your relationship? Do they see a relationship that is spiritually solid and God-glorifying?

If you can't answer the questions at all, then you may need to spend some more time getting to know each other. But if you can answer them (and others like them) either positively or negatively, then it's time to stop test-driving the relationship and either commit to marriage or let someone else have the opportunity.

I have many people in this city

2010-11-02T12:26:00.001Z

Now the Lord spoke to Paul in the night by a vision, “Do not be afraid, but speak, and do not keep silent; for I am with you, and no one will attack you to hurt you; for I have many people in this city.” And he continued there a year and six months, teaching the word of God among them.

Acts 18:9–11

In our midweek meetings we have been going through the book of Acts. This past week while looking at Paul's ministry in Corinth, Paul is preaching the gospel, people are becoming followers of Jesus and many others are upset by this. Usually this proclamation of the Good News meant bad news for Paul personally as he would usually be beaten up or run out of the city at this point.

This is a critical moment for the ministry in Corinth as Paul is experiencing fear. Jesus tells Paul in a vision not to fear, in fact the New American Standard Bible reads "Do not be afraid any longer." So often we can experience fear when telling people the good news of Jesus. Often people do not see it as good news but are rather insulted and begin to retaliate, which can easily have a cooling effect on our zeal and desire to proclaim such a glorious gospel.

Last week in preparation for our home group, I was meditating on these words of Jesus here in Acts 18. Paul is afraid; Jesus speaks; then Paul stays longer at Corinth proclaiming the good news of Jesus longer than anywhere else to date (18 months). What was the encouragement that Jesus gave Paul to embolden him? Part of it was the personal promise to Paul that he wasn't going to get his teeth kicked in while at Corinth, and Jesus was faithful to that promise. But I believe there is much more than that.

Jesus says, "for I have many people in this city". That word used for people is laos in the Greek which is usually the word used for God's chosen people. Jesus is telling Paul that many people in Corinth have been appointed to salvation.

Jesus is imparting to Paul his vision for the city of Corinth. Because of fear, it would be easy to forget that Jesus has a vision and a purpose for the city. The Father tells Jesus in Psalm 2:8, "Ask of Me, and I will give You The nations for Your inheritance, And the ends of the earth for Your possession." Jesus wants the city of Corinth and he has a vision for that city because all the cities and all the nations are his inheritance.

What about your context? What about your city? your workplace? your neighbourhood? your social network? If you are from our church, what about Leatherhead? Do you know what Jesus' vision is for your church, neighbourhood, marketplace, and city? I'm convinced that he does have a vision. What is his vision? We do not know to whom salvation is appointed, but we do know that there are those out there waiting to hear the Good News.

Let us commit to seeking the Lord, and asking him to impart his vision and desire for the places he has strategically placed us. Let us receive our perspective from our Master as Paul did. The result for Paul was the opposite of a cooling effect on his witness and mission; it was fuel for his fire. The disciple knew what his Master/Friend was doing (John 15:15) and joined Jesus on his mission for Corinth.

Jesus said, "for I am with you". This would have been a great comfort to know that Jesus was with Paul. Paul wasn't 'going it alone'. Jesus is with Paul in the proclaiming of the Good News. Notice what Jesus tells Paul, "Do not be afraid, but speak, and do not keep silent; FOR I am with you...". We see a very similar phrasing in Matthew 28:18-20 as Jesus calls his disciples to make disciples, promising to be with them. There is a strong connection between the presence of Jesus and the proclaiming of the Good News. Jesus' mission was the gospel (good news). Our mission should be joining him on his mission. In other words, there is a sense that he is with us because we are with him in what he is already doing.

May the Lord encourage you in this. To be on Jesus' mission is to be with Jesus as he promised in the "Great comission" (Matt 28:20), "Lo, I am with you always." As he promised to Paul in Acts 18, "I am with you." It's Jesus' vision, it's Jesus' mission, it's our joy to join Jesus in what he is doing.

How Members Can Serve the Church on Sunday Morning

2010-10-31T07:01:00.001Z

The Church is a wonderful place where each member is a participant in the life of the church. Sometimes we can view Sunday morning as only for a few people to serve the body while the rest warm pews as spectators. This is unhealthy and ultimately leads to a mentality akin to talent judge Simon Cowell on Britain's Got Talent. We assume it's our job to critique and judge. Rather than participating in the work and becoming part of the solution, we can step back with a spectator mentality (at best) or a critic mentality.

Church gatherings are for the church to minister to one another. There is a lot of time given to corporate worship as we participate in singing to our Lord with one voice. There is a lot of time given to hearing the Word, and prayerfully searching out our hearts during the sermon. But is that all? What if you are not preaching or leading worship? Is there still ministry for you? Absolutely! In fact some of the best ministry happens in a one-on-one context before/after the service. Here is some advice from 9Marks on how the church body can serve the church on a Sunday morning.

Before the Service

Read the passage in advance
Pray for the gathering
Greet newcomers (act like you are the host)
Think strategically about who you should sit with
Arrive Early

During the Service

Sing with gusto (even if you can’t sing)
Help with logistics (if there’s a problem, help fix it)
Don’t be distracted
Listen carefully
Be aware of your facial expressions (you may affect others and discourage preachers)

After the Service

Connect newcomers with others
Get newcomers information
Start a conversation about the sermon
Ask someone how they became a Christian
Stay late

Drink

2010-10-29T13:47:00.007+01:00

On the last day, that great day of the feast, Jesus stood and cried out, saying, “If anyone thirsts, let him come to Me and drink. He who believes in Me, as the Scripture has said, out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.” But this He spoke concerning the Spirit, whom those believing in Him would receive; for the Holy Spirit was not yet given, because Jesus was not yet glorified.

John 7:37–39

Yesterday's post was about the type of water that our souls need to drink from. Following on from that, I want to bring your attention to a solitary word - drink. This verb is a present active imperative which basically is a command to be continually drinking. Some may think that if you take one drink, then all thirst goes away. What is missed with this perspective is the fact that the life God gives is not something that we can have independent of him. "Drink" carries with it the idea of continually drinking. When we cease drinking, thirst arises and we are faced with a choice. Do I drink of the water that Jesus gives, or do I go to some other well?

We were meant to be sustained by his life giving water. The beauty is, we do not have to travel to find it. Jesus says that the water will flow as a river from our very heart. Life giving, life sustaining water is always at hand for the person in whom is God's Spirit.

As we continually drink of him, thirst will not need quenching because we will remain in a place where we are satisfied. We can then say as the Psalmist said in Psalm 87:7, "All my springs are in you."