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Pesky – link to audio

Pesky is the annoying little voice/person who sits on your shoulder telling you all sorts of things,

– you’re no good
– you’re about to stuff this shot up
– don’t miss
– you’re unlucky
– it isn’t fair, you’re better than that other guy
– don’t hit the ball out of bounds

I’ve been calling him Pesky for years and I reckon getting him under some sort of control is necessary if you’re going to play your best golf. Pesky is a little shit because he holds you back. He causes fear to set in, he makes you nervous and he’ll cause you to procrastinate. With Pesky sitting on your shoulder you’ll always be fighting your system.

And I don’t care how talented you are, how good your golf swing is or how much you practice, if Pesky is a dominant force in your life you’re always going uphill. Learn to manage the little turd and you’ll play better and you’ll also find a freedom that you never thought possible.

Pesky thinks he’s doing you a favour. He believes that he is protecting you from harm so he will pop up anytime you challenge the norm or move even slightly out of your comfort zone. Pesky was probably useful back in the Stone Age, but his usefulness has well and truly been eradicated.

Pesky has been a constant battle in my career and I still fight with him everyday. I could give you a thousand examples but here are some that you may relate to.

#1: Starting this blog – Writing my ideas down and sharing them with others has been one of the best things I have done. I really enjoy it but it nearly didn’t get off the ground. Pesky was there telling me that,

– I couldn’t write
– People wouldn’t be interested
– Your story is boring
– People will laugh at you
– Building websites is hard
– You have better things to do
– It’s a stupid idea
– How would you start anyway?

So I fought with the idea for a year or two, putting it off and making excuses. Then one day I started. I didn’t really know what I was doing but I started and it felt good. The sky didn’t fall in and Pesky was humbled. Now when I go to write something Pesky is less of an issue (but he still is present).

#2: Playing under pressure – It took me a while to realise that playing golf under pressure is almost the same as when you’re playing socially. I improved quickly, but after some initial success, I started thinking too much about golf and couldn’t play very well when it counted. Pesky was there all through the turmoil, reminding me that,

– you need to practice more
– it’s not your fault
– golf is really hard
– those other guys are better than you
– you don’t deserve to win
– if you do well you’ll have to make a speech and you don’t like talking

This sort of thing went on and on. I was fighting my system and had little success to show, despite working pretty hard at my game.

#3: Building a better swing – I think traditional coaching ideals play into Pesky’s hand. The thought you can build a better golf swing by changing your technique gives Pesky so much ammunition that I’m convinced most don’t reach a level they’re happy with. I look back on the years when I was taking lots of lessons with a shudder – not a good time for me but Pesky revelled in it. Here’s some of the one-way conversations we had,

– not like that, you need to swing more like (insert thing here)
– your swing is off plane, your coach told you not to do that
– you’re swinging too quickly, slow it down
– you need to practice more
– don’t worry about not playing better, at least your swing is improving
– those other guys might be winning, but their technique isn’t as good as yours
– if you keep working hard at your swing, better golf is just around the corner
– to succeed in golf you need the perfect technique, all the other stuff comes later

Typical coaching is hard because the conversations you have with your coach match those with Pesky. It’s a one-two punch that knocks you out. Golf, by its nature, means you’ll never hit every shot perfectly so there’s always something for Pesky (and your coach) to remind you of. Some golfers can handle this and are able to take the criticism (in want of a better word) and get on with it. But I’m sure for most of us, the continual barrage wears us down and we give up and play a form of “unhappy golf”.

When I watch the average golfer play this is what I see. There’s little enjoyment and virtually no deep satisfaction that comes when you reach a level of mastery. We waste our best years because of a stupid little voice.

Beating Pesky

I don’t think you can be totally free from the devil. He will always be there, like today, Pesky was doing his best to stop me writing this post. Maybe he doesn’t like me talking about him, but he was also kind enough to remind me that,

– this post will take a lot of time
– I have better things to be doing
– nobody will read it
– those that do read it will ignore it

He went on and on. Thanks Pesky.

The first step is to become more aware of the chatter. You don’t need to heed any advice, just become aware of what Pesky is telling you. Go for a walk and notice your thoughts. You may be surprised at what is going on. It can be especially noisy when you come up with an idea – right after that is when Pesky is at his loudest. He’ll do everything he can to stop you acting on the ideas. He hates change and thinks the ideas will cause you harm.

Next step is to accept Pesky. Stop fighting him. Fighting is no use because he’ll always be there. Eventually he’ll become like that annoying family member that you simply ignore – no longer does his antics/language/bad jokes worry you. Acceptance of Pesky takes less energy and empowers you to do what you really want. When you ignore him and don’t waste emotional energy you’ll start to see him for what he is – a scared little shit. When you get to this point he’ll have no power of you – you may even begin to like him.

[features_box_grey width=”75%” + border=”2px”]Side note: One of my first jobs was working at an engineering factory. A member of the golf club looked after me and he allowed me to work afternoon shift so I could play golf during the day. One of the guys was a real nightmare. He gave me a hard time and questioned everything I did. He too played golf, a 14 handicapper, and thought he was the best player in the world. I think he felt threatened by me because I was playing off scratch. Each day he would say something nasty or get me to sweep the floor for the 12th time. I used to hate him and I’d get angry and want to fight him. But I resisted and eventually started ignoring him, I accepted him as he was and didn’t let him bother me. I figured that he could have his 10 seconds of ego trip and I could move on.

Then something funny happened. He started treating me better and acting human. One day, he opened up and told me about his life. Deep down he was a scared little man and apologised for his behaviour. He never became my best mate, but we did have a better relationship and he thanked me for being a friend. It was a good lesson in how to combat that Pesky creature that’s for sure.  [/features_box_grey]

Finally, you can embrace what he says and move towards the fear. This is when the magic happens and you’ll achieve something “remarkable”. I’m also sure this is what successful people have learned to do, no matter what pursuit they’re passionate about.

The athlete gets up early for training, despite it being cold, wet and dark outside. Can you imagine all the stuff that Pesky would be telling them?
The writer keeps on writing, despite not having anything to say and fighting writer’s block.
The entrepreneur keeps working, despite Pesky telling her it’s too hard and she’s be better getting a real job
And the golfer, keeps swinging freely despite the pressure and Pesky’s continual chatter about the Out Of Bounds pegs and all the other distractions

Moving towards the scary stuff is hard. But it’s the best way to dampen Pesky and learn that he’s not real. Pesky is an annoyance that can be overcome but it will take some courage. It has nothing to do with your technique, skill level or equipment (although the industry will tell otherwise) and it might be the easiest way for igniting your A-game. Get Pesky on a tight leash and you’ll play with more feel, flair, passion and enthusiasm. You’ll start to play golf your way and to me, this should be the point of the exercise.

How have you tamed Pesky? Leave your thoughts below…

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How to make more of those 3 foot putts.

Recommendation: Listen to this a few times. There’s some good stuff in here that can help you unlock the mysteries of putting.

Another tip: The closer you get to the hole the more relaxed and carefree you need to become. Golfers typically go the other way. It’s hard, but with some practice we all can become better putters.

Keep the questions coming please…

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Automatic versus mindless golf

Caught up with an interesting fella yesterday. Anthony is a very good golfer, fitness expert and has produced some golf products. He’s a bit like me, using his experiences to help other golfers get more out of their game.

I was showing him around the Golf Farm and we were talking shop. Anthony is particularly interested in putting, having created his own putting product while packaging it in with mine. He loved my new putting green and we spent the best part of an hour on it hitting putts and stuffing around. Here’s a part of our conversation that ties into something deeper:

Anthony: I remember this guy I was playing with, had this simple 20 foot putt but he knocked it 15 foot past the hole. I couldn’t believe it, it was like he just had a brain freeze and had no idea what he was doing.

Me: Sounds like he lacked awareness of the situation.

Anthony: Yeah. I showed him some stuff about pre-shot routine and planning and he putted better for the rest of the day.

A lack of awareness might be the biggest issue golfers face. It’s almost like they’re blind, they can’t see/hear/feel stuff that they should. And because they’re not aware of what’s really going on they never play that well. They also miss out on gaining more enjoyment and satisfaction with their golf game.

Here’s a few examples.

– the golfer is completely unaware that the wind is in his face and is surprised when his ball doesn’t fly the bunker that he normally can.
– the golfer doesn’t notice that the hole is cut on a slope and the putt is going to be extra fast. He three putts.
– the golfer doesn’t take a second to glance over at the next green to check out the hole location
– the golfer can’t feel his swing because he’s so worried about his score
– the golfer stands on the first tee and goes blank because he has no idea how to process all the information going through his head.
– the golfer doesn’t notice that the left side of the green is a “no go” zone. He goes for the pin, misses it slightly and makes a double.
– the golfers doesn’t notice that he’s pumped up and full of adrenaline. He takes the club he thinks is right, but airmails the green and makes a stupid bogey
– the golfer doesn’t ever really enjoy himself because he’s focussed on the wrong thing
– the golfer misses countless opportunities to learn and grow because he’s self absorbed in his “own” game.

This list could go on and on.

Many golfers are asleep. They waste shots because they’re over thinking (thinking about the wrong stuff) and not letting their senses tell the story. They’re trying to play golf purely with their left brain – sort of how and accountant works out a complex tax issue.

But golf isn’t accounting. You can’t always think your way out of issues. If thinking was all that was needed we’d all be better players.

“Playing hockey” is a term I use when someone has given up. They play a form of slap happy golf that is more MISS than hit. It’s mindless golf and doesn’t lead anywhere constructive. I’ve been there many times, especially in the early days when golf got too hard. When you try really hard and think you’re doing everything correctly but you keep getting knocked down, the frustration needs an escape valve. For me, playing hockey was that release.

On a more subtle level, lack of awareness is mindless golf. “Mindless” is probably the wrong word here, but when you’re focus is in the wrong place, then you’ve got no chance. Automatic Golf is anything but mindless. In fact, it mixes thinking with the physical action of swinging the club. It gives the technocrats an outlet without destroying the artistic side of the game. I think it blends the best of both worlds. You’re using all of your brain. You’re using your system fully.

Automatic Golf gives you a process. It’s not an event. You do all your thinking prior to walking to the ball and then, when you’re mind is made up, you hit the “go” button. This is playing the game. Playing the game is getting out of your own way and relying on your subconscious to do what it does best. And this doesn’t mean you’re playing hockey – far from it. You still sense what you’re doing. You can feel what you’re doing. But you’re not impeding the process by adding unwanted manual control. You’re aware of what is.

AG allows you to go deeper because your decision process becomes more natural. You start making decisions at the “gut” level because taking the 8 iron instead of the 7 just feels right to you (even though the logical part of your brain is saying, “It’s the 7 iron! Hit the 7 iron!”). You learn to stop relying so much on analytical thought (maybe why some think AG is mindless) and go with your instincts. When you waken up, and get more in tune with your surroundings, thoughts and feelings the good stuff is more likely to happen.

Mindless golf is hoping your game will come good. Automatic Golf is playing golf as any human should. It’s unlocking all of your senses and learning to play in a way that you find truly satisfying. From here, good results happen and you may realise that there’s more to golf than just your score.

This is weird. I’m playing better, way better, but things don’t seem how they should.

For starters, there’s not a lot of magic involved. I thought playing the golf of my dreams would be different. It’s not.

Sure, there’s the odd really good shot, but I’ve always done that. There’s more consistency and less really bad stuff, but for the most part I’m still the same player.

I get nervous. On the 16th yesterday I was quite nervous. But it was different. I didn’t panic and make a mess of the situation. I took a deep breath, welcomed the nerves, focused on where I wanted the ball to go and watched the ball sail to the target. It wasn’t a spectacular shot – the ball went to the fat part of the green and I two-putted for par. But normally when I get nervous like that the ball finds the water. It’s good to know I can play under pressure now.

I’m freaking out a little.

Why?

Because I’m no longer practicing as much. I’d normally spend a few hours hitting balls after work. But not this week. Hardly picked up a club, except for swinging in the backyard and a few “looseners” in the nets before play.

I’ve spent my entire adult life worrying about;

– my golf swing
– if I’m good enough
– my golf swing
– every bad shot
– what am I doing wrong?
– what am I doing right?
– my technique
– my bloody golf swing!

Shit. I’ve spent years worrying and thinking about all this stuff and it feels strange to let it all go. I’ve lost my security blanket, but I’ve just realised I don’t need it anymore.

I’m free. No longer am I trapped worrying about all these stupid things golfers like worrying about. I don’t care about the crap written in golf magazines (stopped reading them a while ago) and I couldn’t care less what Justin Rose does to hit the ball a further 24 yards. Most of this stuff is marketing hype anyway and it no longer is for me.

I’m relaxed. It’s true – golf really is only a game and the world doesn’t come to an end after a bad shot. But I learned something really important – the world doesn’t change after an excellent score. I’m still the same person, no matter what my score says or what number I have to write in the “handicap” box. I wish I had realised this sooner…

My mind is calm. No longer am I driving to the course nervous about;

– my playing partners
– the set-up of the golf course
– embarrassing myself
– hitting the opening tee shot
– playing half-decently

No sir. I don’t care about that stuff either. I’ve simplified my approach. A lot. There’s really only a few things I do each time I take a swing.

1. I work out how far away the target is.
2. I choose the right club for the shot.
3. I walk up and hit that stupid white ball.
4. Repeat.

I know all that sounds too easy but what else can we do anyway? All the other stuff is garbage and an unwanted distraction.

So I’ve been freaking out a little because golf has just gotten a whole lot easier. I’m playing way better and there’s less energy, fear and mental anguish to do so. But I’ll get used to it that’s for sure. I’m no longer a victim to the game and the hype that surrounds it.

I’m now a golfer. I swing the sticks and play the game. Frustration is a distant colleague and I’ve got something more worthwhile.

Satisfaction. Meaning. Enjoyment.

I can’t lose at golf anymore. Yep, shooting a good score is nice but there really is more to the game. I’ve figured that the four and five hours outside in the fresh air should mount to more than just frustration and anger. So I’ve left that all behind and made the craziest realisation of all…

That the less I worry, stress and panic about golf the better I play anyway.

Strange, isn’t it?

I’m no record breaker. I’m just me, but for my talent and application I’m doing just fine. I can drive home happy because I got to play golf and it sure beats work. I can’t say the same for the guys I play with, but I see the old me in them. They’re missing out but they’re too busy trying to fix their golf swing to listen.

It really is a strange game that’s for sure.

References: If you’re keen to explore this simpler mindset further, check out this page.

First off a confession. I’m absolutely terrible when it comes to building anything and working with my hands. One of my first jobs out of school was working in a metal foundry, and while I did have to use some tools and machinery, I hated it and decided then and there that it wasn’t for me. Have no interest whatsoever.

When I decided to add a new office to my shed, the only solution was to call in my dad and brother to help out. The Old Man has been retired for a few years now and loves building stuff – spent 30+ years cooped up in an office and hasn’t put on a tie since. Construction is now his thing and the brother wanted a free trip to the Sunshine Coast. So it worked out pretty well for me.

With the help of a local carpenter the three boys had all the skill and knowledge necessary. I was a waste of space but I did drop in on them every now and then to make sure they weren’t slacking off. After 5 days they had finished the construction and the office is a beauty. It’s great to get out of the house and have my own space where I can work – the peace and quiet is a godsend!

I noticed how different the building mentality is to the one needed to play golf. Time and time again they boys would measure twice (sometimes thrice) and then cut once. They were careful. And this is a good thing I suppose. A dodgy wall or roof structure isn’t an option – they can’t have walls falling down. Plus, the carpenter dude was bordering on pedantic – he was anal about every inch of the construction process.

At one point he had out a tape measure and string line and proudly chimed in, “this room is perfectly square!”. To the ignorant (me) it seemed overkill but who am I to argue? Wasn’t about to tell them to hurry up and stop wasting time.

You really shouldn’t play golf this way.

I used to be concerned with each millimetre of my swing. I would stop to measure and analyse and there was always the thought in the back of my mind of something going wrong. But golf isn’t a construction site. There’s no damage to be done and you can’t break anything.

And I’m sure this is how too many of us play. We’re thinking like builders and less like golfers. The building mentality is required in lots of situations, but our golf game is simply not that important.

We need to be free. We need to explore. And we certainly can’t let the odd mistake hold us back. The best way I can describe it is: building is a science and golf is art.

Art is more about creating, learning and enjoyment. It’s just not as precise. Precision seems like the right thing to do, but when we’re trying to strike a little object it just holds us back.

When we get over the golf ball there’s all sorts of stuff going on in our mind. There shouldn’t be but that’s just how it is.

Don’t stuff this shot up
Please get over the water
Don’t hit it out of bounds
Please make good contact
Oh please God, let me NOT embarrass myself

A golf shot can often have that “final” feel about it. It can seem like it’s now or never. You either hit a good shot or you don’t.

This all adds to the pressure. And the more pressure you feel the more likely you are to lose concentration and start playing poorly.

There is a way around this. Instead of seeing each shot as a do or die situation, look at it as an experiment. The experiment mentality takes the pressure off and gives you permission to relax and witness what is. And this is what you should be doing.

– There’s less stress about making a mistake
– You’re free to try something new
– You’re more aware and in tune with what’s happening because you’re noticing not panicking
– Poor shots are simply “tests” and you can move onto the next shot

Golfers are a strange lot. We can get so worked up over all sorts of shots that we really do forget while we’re out there in the first place. We can get so anxious about our golf that we make poor decisions and never really learn anything.

The experimentation attitude is a game changer. We all understand that experiments aren’t final. That sometimes mistakes happen and we learn and move on. And this is just what I have in mind for you. Here are some examples.

Don’t know how to hit a lob over a bunker? Grab a few balls, a club and head over to the practice green. Open the clubface and see how high you can hit the ball.
Nervous about your opening tee shot? Experiment with trying less and swinging with more freedom. This sounds easy, but only the really brave will try it.
Not sure about laying up short of the bunker? Try it. You may surprise yourself and realise that other golfers don’t care.
Not sure about leaving half your clubs behind? Do it and see how many new shots you learn.
Nervous about leaving your driver behind? Do it. And notice your length of tee shots and how many fairways you hit with your 3 wood.
Worried about the hole with Out Of Bounds? Take a different approach, try something radical (like aiming down the other fairway) but experiment with something new.

This Automatic Golf stuff is also strange. It’s strange because once you figure out what works for you there’s nothing really more to do then to keep repeating. Do the same thing over and over again. But to get to this point you need to experiment. To work out what works and what doesn’t.

Humans don’t like change. We want a different result but typically we’re too scared to break the mould. So we keep doing the same stuff but wanting something different. It’s madness and I suppose this is why the game can drive us nuts. When you can see every little shot as an experiment, the opportunity to learn something valuable, you’ll never be the same player again.