Nature delivers every time.

Gorgeous walk this morning. Dandelion dreams.

This week has been full, with moments of quiet and slowness.

Watched: The Last Night at Tremore Beach, a Spanish limited series. This one took me between frustration with some of the characters, to on the edge of my seat, to an intense drive to figure out what the hell was happening. Great series!

Watched Winter’s Bone, although a sad story, I enjoyed the acting and the sheer grit of the teen sibling determined to take care of her young siblings and disabled mom.

Watched The Electric State, mainly because I’m a Millie Bobby Brown fan after watching Stranger Things. This seemed like it had good potential with a great story. It had some unique aspects, but left me unsatisfied.

Watched Memento, and it was a wild. You’re left not really knowing what’s happening. Really cool.

Walked: I went for walk in Curti Ranch and the Damonte Ranch wetland loop; which I hadn’t visited in a year or two.

Read: Still reading Why Poetry. This is such a fantastic book.

Read: Window, a story contained in The Weird – A Compendium of Strange and Dark Stories volume that we used for the Craft & Writing Horror Workshop last semester. I just randomly opened the book and read the story I landed on. This is a great story with a sci fi feel to it.

Listened to: Driving around running errands and going to appointments, I listened to Faded by Miki Rae, Evil Woman by Electric Light Orchestra, Get on the Good Foot by James Brown, Paradise City by Guns N’Roses, I Love Rock ’N Roll by Joan Jett, Tall Drink by Mike Clark & the Sugar Sounds, and Everybody Wants You by Billy Squier.

Wrote: I polished and submitted three poems to Pleiades. I’m going to get as many submissions as possible done before the fall semester begins. Hoping to have 1-3 submissions accepted that I can use when applying for the MFA program.

Health and Body: Last Wednesday night I got a severe toothache in a tooth that has been giving me problems on and off. I knew I may eventually need a root canal in this tooth. That time had come. So this Tuesday I had a root canal. Bleh! But I have absolutely no pain now, so it was a lightening fast recovery.

I’ve been having anxiety and worry about a summer math class that is set to begin July 21st. It’s a core requirement so I’ve got to take it so I can graduate Spring 2026. Well, that happens to be the same week we’ll be at conference, so I would miss the entire 1st week of a 5 week compressed class. I could take it in the fall but that would make for 4 days at UNR, taking 5 classes in person. So this weekend I got online to check one more time for any college in Nevada offering this math class online. Success! Found one. I’ve registered to take it in the fall. I’ll still have 5 classes, but at least this one will be online. One item off my worry plate!

It was Lillian’s turn for a haircut this time. I drove her to The Beauty Project on Monday afternoon for a trim. She always likes to get a fresh cut before conference.

Rant: I’m also worried about this vile bill that the US Republicans are trying to pass. A brief explanation for anyone interested follows.

Medicaid is more than healthcare. Lillian receives Home & Community Based Services (HCBS) through her disabled medicaid. The rules to qualify are rigorous. There is no one taking advantage of this. How could they? There are multiple, confusing steps and there must be a diagnosis that qualifies. It is heavily monitored once approved.

This allows me to work part-time so that I can be Lillian’s Shared Living Provider, allowing her to be integrated into the community. This means that I case manage her life. I make appointments, take her to them, assist her with tasks she cannot do on her own. I make calls, I track her medical records, I take her to local events. This is essentially a more than full time job.

If this bill passes, cutting over $1 trillion from Medicaid, this service (HCBS) gets eliminated. I would have to find full time work. What happens to Lillian? I cannot work two full time jobs, she would have to enter a group home, of which we only have a few in Reno. This takes her out of the community. What happens to Lillian?

Now, multiply Lillian times the thousands of parents and caregivers who are in this role for their disabled loved one. There is more to this than what I share. However, I want to keep it short so folks will read it. This will essentially remove thousands of people with disabilities from their communities, hiding them away. Are we making America great by bringing back eugenics? Do you care?

Please call your congress person and tell them to vote Hell No. If you’re in the same area as me:

Mark Amodei
DC: 202-225-6155
Reno: 775-686-5760

Lillian – 2016 (Age 15)

See you next week, or the next, or the next … Thank you for reading my writings and for subscribing!

Just finished watching this. I’m not even sure why, but I freaking loved this movie.

Weird. The good kinda weird.

I just submitted poems to a publication. Now I feel weird. Cool plant at The Beauty Project today, though!

Finished the TA gig yesterday. It was a great opportunity to earn 3 credits, and interesting to see students get enlightened about disability ethics. Had a wonderful walk this morning.

Watching … Being a UNR student we have access to Kanopy. Anyone have suggestions for movies on Kanopy.

Wild. You’re left not really knowing what’s really going on. Really cool.

Rage Slinger

Dear Fire Starters,
I’ve collected the clues you and I left behind
scattered in a trail of the years
We wear on these bodies

Within this skin
Hard fought battles
Saturate our blood with
Oxygenated creativity

We collectively bleed and sling
With our voices, our fingers,
Our hands and these bodies

My sassy sisters
Come in closer
For this may begin slow and steady
But the sparks are gonna fly
Magical sparks that will forever join us

You and I
We have found each other
We are tethered together

Our ancestors tears
Puddle as ink
Used for each new executive order signed

Hear me on this my rosebuds
It’s time to spin a rebellion

We women
Have to talk about
This collective pain in the pussy
Breathing down our crotches

Telling us what we can and can’t wear
Telling us how to live our lives
Telling us to use our bodies for their prize money
Telling us why we can or can’t vote
Telling us what we can and can’t do

What would it mean to
Embrace feminine energy
Without guilt
Listening to our intuition

What would it mean
To weave crowns
Of the blood and sweat
Of the victories of our beloved
Sister ancestors

Dancing in tune to
The beat of our cyclical existence
Allowing the restoration
These bodies crave

We are here to create sparks
Of hope together
And hope is painted by the women
who’ve had enough

Change is created by the women
Who breathe fire from the
Years of gaslighting

We’re starting fires together
We’re burning this shit down

When was the last time
You rebelled

What made you rebel
What did your rebellion look like

What did it feel like

I don’t know about y’all
But
I have come here
To chew bubble gum
And kick some ass

I will not be unmemorizing my existence
For the autocracy’s fairy tale

It’s time for a foul mouthed revolution
They will not be taking us backwards
Othering us
And feeding propaganda to our young

My sisters
You and I
We have found each other
We will not become upholstered ghosts
In the museum of what it means to be us

We are gonna make sparks together
We’re starting fires together
We’re burning down this patriarchy
We will not be leaving this world with
Pieces of broken regret glued to us like skin

We are the fire starters
We are the rage slingers
We are here to kick some ass

Camilla Downs, 2024