Camp Adventure in New Orleans

Uniforms

2010-08-12T23:24:00.000-05:00

Before it gets any later, I should show what our unis look like. Answer: terrible.

A Little Late

2010-08-12T23:04:00.001-05:00

Here's Liz's three strikes from Week 1

The Blame Game

2010-08-12T17:50:00.003-05:00

I just waited twenty minutes in the barber shop only to be told I couldn't get a haircut because I am a military contractor and not military personnel.

Why can't contractors get their hair cut?
Because there are too many on base currently.

Why are there too many contractors on base?
Because they are doing construction.

Why are they doing construction?
Because the two bases in New Orleans are merging.

Why are they merging?
Because of the Base Realignment and Closure process.

Why is this necessary?
Because the US wants its bases to be more efficient.

Why do they need to be more efficient?
Because European "allies" have placed too much of a burden on the American military.

Why have they strained the American military?
Because they didn't get on board with Gulf War II so the US has to do the job alone.

Why is the US fighting Gulf War II alone?
Because terrorism needs to be stopped.

Why does terrorism need to be stopped?
Because its harmful for children and other living things.

As we can see, it all boils down to either the Europeans or bin Laden. Take your pick.

In the immortal words of Alan Garner, the barber wouldn't cut my hair because we live in a time "after 9/11 when everyone got so sensitive".

Thanks a lot, bin Laden.

2010-08-11T09:51:00.003-05:00

^ a way people wouldn't have to die in war. Its called the Dark Shield. Its a shield made out of a black hole. To make it, first you need...."

2010-08-11T09:51:00.001-05:00

^ Camper: "Someone in my family died in the Vietnam War" Me: I'm sorry. They did a very brave thing by dying for their country. Camper: Yeah. I thought of

2010-08-10T09:56:00.001-05:00

Campers would pick Alvin and the Chipmunks over Ratatouille, Wall-E and Princess and the Frog.

2010-08-10T08:08:00.001-05:00

Broken AC means our schedule has been rocked on this last week of camp. Gonna improvise. Kearney concert tonight. 4 more days.

Click HERE for pictures

2010-08-09T22:59:00.003-05:00

For the visual learners out there, I have a public album on Facebook of all pictures I've taken this summer. The album just maxed out at 200 photos which is perfect seeing as I only four more days remaining here and probably won't be taking very many more.

If you don't have Facebook, no problem. You can still view the album by following the link.

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2052214&id=1580130069&l=f90dcf760b

My To-Do

2010-08-08T23:52:00.002-05:00

This is my last week so I have a few loose ends to tie up:

- Get a chaperone to show me the flight-line so I can shoot photos
- Visit the library to see the photos submitted for the contest (including mine)
- Finish souvenir shopping at Mardi Gras Wholesaler
- Mat Kearney concert on Tuesday night at the House of Blues downtown
- Work on homework papers (should be writing those instead of this)
- Pack all my stuff

PS: I could post about what I did this weekend but I'll wait until I am home. I swear there's a good reason for this.

Day from Hell

2010-08-08T23:40:00.002-05:00

Wednesday was the day from Hell. I don't like thinking about it more than I have to so I'll keep this short.

- On Wednesday's, my campers are supposed to go on a field trip. Seeing as the week's trip was moved to Friday, this didn't happen. Strike One.
- On Wednesday's, the older kids are supposed to go swimming. Seeing as the pool was hosting the base-wide luau at 3 (which we were attending), regular swimming wouldn't happen. Strike Two.
- It was a black-flag day meaning we couldn't take the kids outside on account of the heat. Strike Three.

By 3:00 (15:00), we were all stressed out and exhausted. Our boss had recruited us to work the carnival games so we counselors were excused from our regular work to go over and wait for the kids from all over the base to start showing up. Outside, it was hot and sticky. To make it more difficult, we were issued some appealing, brown, Hawaiian shirts, palm frond hats and plastic leis. I was in charge of the Tic-Tac-Toe game. It involved a lot of bending over to pick up dropped wiffle balls. My belt broke. It started raining. The tent leaked on me. Needless to say, my smile was pasted on.

At 4:30, I was dismissed to attend to my soccer camp duties. I stripped off my shameful uniform to expose my slightly less shameful Camp A uniform (remember, khaki shorts, tucked in t-shirt, and high socks. The uni hasn't been redesigned since Camp's formation in the 1980's). At soccer, I was met with the pleasant surprise of being the only coach. See previous post for details.

Afterwards, I had time enough to play some basketball. My hands were cold. I told myself I wouldn't leave until I made 10 three-pointers. It took a half hour. Then I worked out, headed back to my room and had time enough to check my phone and put down my things before I realized I needed to be assisting with making decorations for next week. I went to where the group was working and pitched in. It was dark by the time we were finished. I went home to write a paper. Then my day was over.

Longest day of camp yet. Looking back, I'm lucky to have had a day like this to make all the other days look absolutely wonderful. At least I learned something, right?

Soccer and Finality

2010-08-08T23:16:00.003-05:00

For the foreseeable future, these will be my last full updates while in New Orleans. Someone asked me yesterday how long I've been here. "Nine weeks", I told them. They then asked when I go home. "One week", I told them. I paused to think then added, "This time next week, I'll be home". Saying it made it sink in. The feeling is still sinking but I don't think it will fully settle until I am actually leaving this place.

SOCCER CAMP

Last week was a busy one. A few weeks ago, I inquired about an advertised soccer clinic that was taking place on base. I offered to help and was told someone would contact me about opportunities. I should have known that just because I am dealing with military personnel doesn't mean that I am not dealing with people. That is to say, they are just as forgetful as anyone else and so it was no surprise that on Monday, three hours before the scheduled start of the camp, I was frantically calling to get the details on the event. Turns out, the heat index of 106 was too extreme for us to have camp so Day One was cancelled.

Day Two went off without a hitch. With the camp moved indoors, about 40 kids ranging from age 6 to 12 showed up. I arrived thinking my role would be something along the lines of assistant. If any odd jobs needed doing, I would be there. Turns out, I was one of two adult volunteers. Coach Jimmy introduced himself and we devised a plan for the day. We would warm the group up and then split them into a younger and older groups. Within the older group, we would split again based upon skill level. Jimmy would take his son's group (the more advanced group) and I would coach the intermediate team. My group had 12 campers. We worked on dribbling drills for the day and then played a couple of games before releasing the campers for the day. This came after my group decided upon a team name for the week. For whatever reason, they decided to name my (Coach Rocky's) group the Rockies. Go figure.

On Day Three, about half the number of campers showed up. I combined the two older groups and we worked on passing drills. Coach Jimmy didn't show up. Neither did his son.

Day Four, Coach Jimmy was again absent. I worked the campers on shooting and we played some fun games before I released them to their waiting parents. For some reason, the parents all decided to wait on the bleachers and watch. This was fine by me except for what was the unintentional side-effect of making me very nervous. Its one thing to coach a bunch of kids buts it another thing entirely to coach them while their parents are watching. One wrong move on my part could have sent a flustered adult running onto the gym floor to rescue his or her child. Yikes.

Day Five was games day. In what was a serious gamble on my part, I decided to have the kids play "crossfire" wherein I kick balls at them in an attempt to get them "out". If you are "out", you join the kicker and aim for the remaining campers. Again, one wrong move could have sent a camper face-planting into the unforgiving gym floor but I was starved for activities so I worked with what I had. At the end of the day, I gave the remaining campers (there were only about 9 total at this point) my "what soccer has done for me/can do for me" speech. I told them I got to go to Germany to see World Cup. "You mean you played in the World Cup? Which team were you on?". Ahhh, the innocence of children. Certificates were distributed, photos were taken and snacks were devoured. Thus was the end of soccer camp. It went pretty well, I think. I don't think I did too bad for getting thrown in the mix, the way I did.

2010-08-08T23:14:00.000-05:00

Went to see Despicable Me on Friday. In one scene, the main character's mother karate chops a punching bag, sending it flying. Mumbles the camper next to me, "despicable momma...". Another scene takes place in a bank called the Bank of Evil. Camper says, "despicable bank...." Chuckles were suppressed.

A Quick Pun

2010-08-08T23:12:00.000-05:00

Stated by our guide on a bus tour last weekend:

"It's been five years since Katrina and for the people who live here, its been a whirlwind"

Ouch.

2010-08-07T17:04:00.001-05:00

Signs spotted along the road yesterday: "Our vaccuums sucks more than BP" and "NOLA Transmissions: Get Your Shift Together"

2010-08-06T16:54:00.001-05:00

Kid 1: "I wanna sing You'll Be In My Heart beacause all campers will be in my heart". Kid 2: "I don't wanna be in your heart! I don't wanna feel the blood!"

2010-08-06T08:13:00.001-05:00

Field trip in a couple hours with the campers. Gonna see Despicable Me, eat lunch then go swimming. This is the easiest job I can imagine.

2010-07-31T12:57:00.001-05:00

Snuck on the film set of The Green Lantern. Watching Ryan Reynolds do some action scenes. Pix to come.

Taking Shots

2010-07-29T23:39:00.002-05:00

This summer, I have had a silly little personal goal. Until now, I haven't talked much about it but there is a reason I have been on the court so much. I have always wanted to have decent basketball skills and so what began as a personal dedication has become a fun hobby. Its hard to say if I've improved - I hope I have - but the manner in which I've progressed is something I want to mention.

I've had all summer to look up guides, consult friends, talk to coaches, even seek out a trainer. However, I've done none of these things. I like to compare it to those jazz musicians who are completely self taught. Sure there's a proper way to play the fiddle, but what do they care? I haven't played organized basketball since I was 11 years old and any ball I've played in the interim has shown the complete deterioration of any skills I may have once had. That last part is generous. I remember my crowning moment in my basketball career was when I made a three pointer in a game. It was extra special because I didn't know which line to shoot from so I took it from three feet further back than was necessary. I also shot it like you would throw a soccer ball: both hands, overhead. Just goes to show how completely my soccer upbringing affected any sport I played. For God's sake, I've been playing basketball in Sambas all summer. Old habits die hard, I suppose.

Today was special. I had a breakthrough. What I could have learned from a five-minute YouTube tutorial finally clicked after two months of daily gym sessions. After observing some young guys playing ball at the opposite end of the court, I noticed they were landing on the other side of the three point line when they took their shots. Until today, I had been jumping straight up and down, landing in the same spot that I'd started. I tried their method. It worked. Next thing I knew, I was going head to head with Jordankobekareemshaqlebron. I hope this is the breakthrough I've been looking for. Until now, I've had a few false alarms. I've stumbled upon things that've helped but nothing that helped me go 16/30 like this did. Maybe my hands were just hot.

Weekend Preview

2010-07-29T22:51:00.005-05:00

This weekend, the plan is to go downtown. We will be staying Friday and Saturday nights in the Holiday Inn. We'll be going on a Katrina Tour on Saturday and the Natchez Riverboat cruise on Sunday. On Sunday, I'll also be going to mass at the cathedral downtown (like last weekend) and looking for my beloved and missing Mariner's hat. I'll Let you know how it turns out.

Hot Hands, Cold Hands

2010-07-29T22:51:00.002-05:00

My occasional report on the happenings within the NAS JRB Fitness Center Gymnasium continue below.

Outing Number One happened a few days ago. I was shooting hoops by myself when I was asked by two others if I wanted to join a game of 21. This is more or less the game I described in a much earlier post (props if you know which one I'm referring to!). The three of us lasted through a few rounds with my score never rising above 10. Before long, the game swelled to eight people. At this point, my hopes of rebounding had been dashed and shooting was simply out of the question. As I've said before, my shot quality seems to decline exponentially based on the number of eyes that are watching. I'm like the Invisible Boy in Mystery Men. You know, the one who is only Invisible when nobody is looking? That's my shot. It only goes in when I'm the only one around.

Because of this, I became more of an observer than a participant. Fortunately for me, I was in for a treat. Our eighth player was a man I've seen at the gym many times before. I saw man, and not guy, dude, bro, broham, cat, or any other synonym, because that's exactly what he was. The mustache on his face caused Burt Reynold's whiskers to take an early retirement. He was so tall, I rejected the possibility that it was a coincidence that a guy wearing an air traffic controller's shirt followed him into the gym. A mere glance at this behemoth brought me to an understanding of why wishful rappers say that they "command respect". This was all before he even touched the basketball. When he did, I felt like I was at a Harlem Globetrotters practice. Shot after shot fell straight through the net and withing five minutes of his entrance to our humble little game, he was one point shy of winning. On his way to this absurd hijacking, he put on a display like none I'd ever seen. At one point, the guy loitering around the hoop with me, waiting for loose rebounds tapped me on the arm and said "Look". I looked. Michael Jordankobekareemshaqlebron was dribbling nonchalantly in the far corner of the three point line. Three guys surrounded him on defense. My neighbor lazily added, "He's gonna shake all three of 'em". Almost unsurprisingly, he did. All it took was a quick head fake, a stutter step and the fastest pull-up I've seen all summer (not to mention a dash of accuracy mixed with some well-aged muscle memory) and the ball floated beautifully down through the net. And into my outstretched hands.

Not long after, an ambitious soul decided to take on our resident professional one on one. I'm sure his reasoning held that because he was half the age and maybe twice as fast as his opponent, he stood a chance. What ensued was an impressive duel that lasted much longer than any of us expected. The adversaries danced around the three point arc, battling back and forth. Tricky dribbling and fancy footwork finally brought them to the same corner where the three other unfortunate souls had met their demise. Their battle crescendoed and Michael Jordankobekareemshaqlebron found his opportunity. Taking a step back from the line, he pulled a fast spin move that put him another two feet back from where he started and one foot closer to the baseline. An easier visualization would be to say that he was standing in the very corner of the court with absolutely no angle of a shot. Reaching deep into the recesses of whatever black magic juju that fueled him, he let loose a high-arcing shot just as his defender reached up in vain to stop him. The ball fell perfectly through the net. The gym erupted. Every last person in the place was hollering and hooting, myself included. I can honestly say that I have never seen a person make a basket from that place on the court and he had done it. Appropriately, his opponent instituted a self-imposed time out and watched in disbelief as the next round of the game began.

Epilogue: I had the honor of competing mano-a-mano with Jordankobekareemshaqlebron today. In order to tip the scales in my favor, I kept our competition a secret. I did this by counting the number of three pointers that he made while tracking my own progress as well. This was possible because by some lucky accident, he decided to share the basket I was shooting on. Surprisingly, his shot seemed a little bit off but I'm sure it wouldn't have been had he known I was keeping track of his misses. y first game consisted of a "First to 10" match. I found myself leading 7 to 9 (granted, I was shooting many more shots than he) but, unsurprisingly, I went cold and he won.

IMAX

2010-07-29T22:49:00.001-05:00

Our second most recent field trip was to the Audubon Aquarium of the America's IMAX theatre where we saw Deep Sea narrated by Johnny Depp (or was it Depp Sea narrated by Johnny Deep?). Either way, we ran into our fair share of obstacles. This is typical. In Camp A training, we are told time and again that the most important quality a good counselor can have is to be flexible. That way, when you miss the intended showtime of your field trip's IMAX movie, you can keep the campers entertained by putting your leg behind your head. While we waited for the 11 o'clock show, we sat in the atrium of the building and played games, sang songs and milled about. I took pictures for the Dessertfest slideshow and took photo requests from the campers - Mr. Rocky Road! Take a picture of me! Take a picture of the alligator skeleton!

The movie itself was a trip. It was in 3D so all of us were decked out in our stylish (and circa 1950) special-effect glasses. Our group of 40 took up and entire row of the theater. When the film started, I was reminded why the 3D movie craze hasn't faded away like everyone thought it would. Every image on the screen was (cliche warning) jumping out at the audience. A quick glance down our row confirmed this as 80 small hands reached for the screen to pet or snatch the illusions in front of them.

Lunch was had out at the typical place. Three times now, we have eaten at this park that sits behind the aquarium on the banks of the Mississippi. It is fairly ideal except for the birds. From their behavior, it is clear that we are not the first group of ignorant souls to happily stumble upon this "perfect little picnic spot". I imagine tales of bountiful scrap-feeding have been passed down from generation to generation of seagulls and other opportunistic river birds. Fearlessly, they have dive-bombed us on each of our three field-trip lunch breaks at the park. Why do we keep coming back, you ask? The answer is simple. We have Jack. Jack is six years old. He is also a scarecrow. And a Jedi. And a robot. And a train engineer. Pretty typical stuff for a six year old but Jack is unique because he takes the role to heart and carries out each minute detail of his chosen role. Today, for example, we had four separate lightsaber battles. I digress. On this particular day, Jack stood proudly (and loudly) in defense of our precious lunch break. These birds didn't stand a chance against his pasty outstretched arms and his Cheeto grease covered face. His bravery made our lunch possible, and for that, we salute him.

Swamp Tour

2010-07-29T22:01:00.003-05:00

Yesterday, we went on the much anticipated swamp tour. In a last minute change of plans, the entire camp went instead of splitting up by age groups between Wednesday and Thursday. As usual, I'm not sure the duration of the ride because I was asleep. However, I was awake to see the camper next to me slide off the side of her seat and halfway into the aisle before awaking in a start. If you've seen Inception, you know why this made me think about that movie.

The tour itself was pretty interesting. Our tour guide was extremely immemorial and bland. He seemed tired, bored and the sign informing us that tips were welcome seemed more ironic than sincere. We did, however, see lots of wildlife. I took pictures (as I always do on field trips) but not many came out properly as I took the day to experiment with manual focus. Surprisingly, the alligators we saw were less interesting than the graveyard grasshoppers. These monsters were four inches long, jet black and looked like they meant business. Four inches may not sound like a lot but go look one up on Google. If you're too lazy, look at your palm. If you held one, it would overlap no matter how you positioned it.

Back on shore, we headed straight for the shaded lunch area. Before we could eat, a table of kids began screaming like the Dickens and running around wildly. One of the grasshoppers was lurking on the underside of their table. Their reaction is unsurprising. I would freak out too if a bug the size of my face decided to eat lunch with me. Lunch - and the rest of the day for that matter - was relatively uneventful. I slept on the ride back. The camper next to me nearly fell out of her seat again.

2010-07-28T19:56:00.001-05:00

The word "twilight" has been ruined. I love twilight but I don't love Twilight.

Facebook

2010-07-28T08:14:00.002-05:00

Here is the link to my album of photos I've taken since I've been here. It is viewable to everyone regardless if you're signed up for Facebook.

That being said, if you follow the profile badge on the right side of the page, you'll be taken to my profile. The blog is sufficient to stay updated on life in New Orleans but my Facebook is more often used and more versatile. Check it out if you want.

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2052214&id=1580130069&l=f90dcf760b

2010-07-28T08:02:00.001-05:00

Goin' on a swamp tour this morning with the kidlets. Hope nobody gets eaten by a gator.